Thursday, 20 July 2017

Twin Brook Capital Partners has raised $1.6 billion

Well, well ... / Not bad, eh? 'What for, boss?' For their second fund, Voice. 'Oh. Nice.' They're calling it AG Direct Lending Fund II. 'Nice.' But guess what. 'What?' Well, this is the amazing bit. Twin Brook only wanted ... [drum roll] ... $600 million! 'You're kidding?!' No. How many times have I written posts about firms that wanted, say ... $800 million, and then raised $900 million? 'Countless times. And we've always berated them for their lack of ambition.' Exactly. And now this happens. 'Wow! / Are you, uh ... going to take your hat off to the Twin Brook boys, and girls, if they have any girls?' Well, I don't actually have a hat, Voice, as you well know. 'Okay. That might be a problem.' But, but ... metaphorically I will, yes. 'Brilliant!' If metaphorically is the right word. I'm pretty sure it is.

Dear reader(s), about Twin Brook, from their website ...

Twin Brook Capital Partners is a finance company focused on providing cash-flow based financing solutions for the middle market private equity community. The firm was founded and is managed by a group of highly experienced, dedicated professionals who have been successful working in the middle market. Much of the team has worked together throughout their careers at leading middle market lending institutions. The management team has successfully closed over 1,100 transactions with 200+ different middle market private equity firms.

You see? Dedicated professionals. So ... that's all right, eh? 'It's a unit of alternative investment manager Angelo, Gordon & Co, ain't it, boss?' It certainly is, my little invisible friend. / Okay. Uh.

...

Okay. Right. It's the end of the week. Anything else? 'Music.' Ha! I won't say it again, man. This is a fucking finance blog!!! 'Please, Mikey. I love it when you tell us about your progress, such as it is.' Oh, all right. Just this once, you understand. [I'm too soft-hearted, that's my problem.] Well, it's business as usual. I write a tune. I scrap it the next day. I write a tune. I scrap it the next day. I write a tune. I scrap it the next day. And a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I go! What else is there to say, son? 'Say something positive, man!' All right, all right. Okay, okay. Er, I reckon five of my seven songs are good enough for a greatest hits collection. 'Yippee!' I mean, that's what you need if you want to be a major act [Beatles, Oasis]. Five or six such songs on each album you release. It separates you from the artists who may only get three great songs in their whole career. / Today, after lunch, I might work on the lyric for another top song. [I've got the tune already.] 'You might?' It all depends on how I'm feeling after lunch. 'Okay. What are you having?' The usual. Cheese or egg sandwich. Crisps. Yoghurt. And a glass of water. 'Nice.' Yes. Yes, it will be nice.

Well, later(s), alligator(s) - !!!

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Macron indicates US may rejoin reality

Well, that's nice, dear reader(s), ain't it? 'What's this, boss?' Another PR email, son. 'And did it really say that?' No, not exactly.

Following the Bastille Day celebrations on 14 July in France, French President Emmanuel Macron has said that Donald Trump may allow the US to remain signed up to the Paris Climate Change Agreement. Macron explained that this is because he understands "the link that exists between global warming and terrorism".

Well, it's the same thing. Reality, man. All right-wing nutjobs must face it eventually ... unless they want to be carted away to the funny farm. It's the same with Brexit.

"He told me he would try to find a solution in the coming months," Mr Macron said, according to le Journal du Dimanche.

Okay. 'Ha!' What, Voice? 'I wondered who was speaking there for a minute. I mean, it wasn't me.' No, it was Macron. 'I thought there might be a new kid in town.' Ha!

Julia Haake, director of international development and head of the Paris office of oekom research, is available for telephone interviews this week on the effect that this could have on the rating of the United States.

Now ... uh, who said that? 'Luisa, I should think.' Who?! 'Luisa. Read the bottom of the email.' Oh, of course, Luisa. / No thanks, love. It's all right. I don't need to speak to Julia Haake. 'He wouldn't know what to say anyway, Luisa.' Ha! No, I wouldn't have a clue.

oekom research is one of the leading ratings agencies specialized in sustainability analysis, and the only independent firm among the largest players in the field.

Okay, okay. No big O and no big R. 'Shame.' Oh, I understand. Each to their own, like.

...

Anything else, dear reader(s)? Not really, no. I can't think of anything. Can you, Voice? 'Music.' I don't discuss music here, man. This is a finance blog.

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

[No. 531] Who are we?

I am me. I'm not anyone else. Obviously, you are you. Together we are one. And maybe we should leave the others out of it.

And you must like it or lump it[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[1], and you must like it or lump it[2], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[2], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[1], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[1], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[2], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[2], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[1], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[2], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[1], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[2], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[1], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[2], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[1], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[2], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![1], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[2], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[1], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![2], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[1], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[1], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[1], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[2], and NEVER MIND, eh?[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[2], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[1], and NEVER MIND, eh?[2], and ... what's the point?[1], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[2], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[1], and ... what's the point?[2], and we will be here forever / try the veal[1], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[2], and you must like it or lump it[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[2], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[3], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[3], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[3], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[3], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[3], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[3], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[3], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[3], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![3], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[3], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[3], and NEVER MIND, eh?[3], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[3], and ... what's the point?[3], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[3], and

And you must like it or lump it[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[1], and you must like it or lump it[2], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[2], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[1], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[1], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[2], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[2], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[1], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[2], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[1], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[2], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[1], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[2], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[1], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[2], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![1], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[2], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[1], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![2], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[1], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[1], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[1], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[2], and NEVER MIND, eh?[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[2], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[1], and NEVER MIND, eh?[2], and ... what's the point?[1], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[2], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[1], and ... what's the point?[2], and we will be here forever / try the veal[1], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[2], and you must like it or lump it[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[2], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[3], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[3], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[3], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[3], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[3], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[3], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[3], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[3], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![3], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[3], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[3], and NEVER MIND, eh?[3], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[3], and ... what's the point?[3], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[3], and

And you must like it or lump it[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[1], and you must like it or lump it[2], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[2], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[1], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[1], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[2], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[2], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[1], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[2], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[1], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[2], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[1], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[2], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[1], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[2], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[1], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[2], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[1], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[2], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![1], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[2], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[1], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![2], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[1], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[1], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[1], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[2], and NEVER MIND, eh?[1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[2], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[1], and NEVER MIND, eh?[2], and ... what's the point?[1], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[2], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[1], and ... what's the point?[2], and we will be here forever / try the veal[1], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[2], and you must like it or lump it[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[2], and I get so DIZZY(!) for the sake of my health / Oh, yes, this ... is not a game[3], and the squares will never understand, but ... all our consciousnesses are as one, and it's here that we meet God[3], and, well ... cosmos, universal spirit, whatever, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... I must go, and you must go - and they?[3], and ... 'They can decide for themselves, Mikey!'[3], and, alas ... they don't have the great souls to be able to make a decision, man[3], and ... 'Ha, ha, ha!'[3], and, oh ... God only drops by to see the action / I'm not suggesting that this is heaven / No, not at all[3], and ... 'Heaven forbid!'[3], and, of course ... there's beyond the THREE ... / However, no one actually knows what that is[3], and ... 'It's a mystery, Mikey!'[3], and ... WE MUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE KNOW - !!![3], and I'm sorry for shouting, but would you listen if I whispered in your ear one dark night?[3], and ... 'Ha! They love all that sort of thing!'[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... perhaps they do ... the sick animals[3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the result is the same[3], and NEVER MIND, eh?[3], and, kook(s), we could go faster than before ... / or we could go slower than before ...[3], and ... what's the point?[3], and ... 'We'll just end up where we started' / Yes, Voice, it's the eternal comedy[3], and we will be here forever / try the veal[3], and

Pamplona Capital Management is opening a bakery

Well, that's a surprise! 'Why would they do something like that, boss?' I have no idea, Voice. Maybe they're eccentrics.

New York / Atlanta / London, July 17, 2017 - CSM Bakery Solutions, a global leader in bakery ingredients, products and services, today announced it had reached an agreement for the sale of its BakeMark business to Pamplona Capital Management.

Okay. They're calling it BakeMark. I haven't seen any of their shops around. 'Maybe you can pop in for a cheese roll or something.' Yes, if I can find one of their shops.

The agreed upon sale is an important step in advancing CSM's strategy to focus on its core business in Europe and North America, according to CSM's President and CEO Marianne Kirkegaard.

Fine. And what did this Marianne say?

"We have always had great appreciation for the value of the BakeMark business but this sale will help us support our goal of further strengthening our core business in Europe and North America by focusing on our value added bakery products and ingredients portfolio," she said. "Under Pamplona's ownership, BakeMark can further strengthen its strong position and reputation as the industry's supply and distribution market leader in North America."

Okay, okay. But ... is someone going to explain why Pamplona wants a bakery? I mean, I would appreciate it, and so would my readers.

Based in Pico Rivera, California, BakeMark provides distribution services through a network of 25 distribution centers and three manufacturing facilities across the United States and Canada. BakeMark offers a diversified line of products, ingredients and supplies to the food industry under brands that include Westco, Trigal Dorado and BakeSense.

Oh, obviously not. Unbelievable! 'Maybe they're fed up with crap meals and snacks from the office vending machine, boss. However, if they owned a bakery nearby, they could just -' Shut up, Voice! Please! You're talking absolute nonsense. As usual. / Dear reader(s), maybe Billy Pruellage can help us ...

William Pruellage, a Partner at Pamplona, expressed his confidence in BakeMark's future. "BakeMark is a market-leading specialty distribution platform serving as the premier bakery ingredient supplier in North America," he said. "We believe BakeMark is well positioned to succeed as a stand-alone entity and capitalize on new growth opportunities. We look forward to supporting Jim Parker, the President and CEO of BakeMark, and the rest of the Company's exceptional management team to build on its long history of providing trusted and valuable service to the food industry."

Well, I'm none the wiser. As long as they're happy, I suppose. / Let's just finish with this -

The BakeMark investment is being made from Pamplona's fifth private equity fund, Pamplona Capital Partners V, L.P., a $3.4 billion investment vehicle raised in 2017. Barclays is serving as Pamplona's financial advisor. Pamplona received legal advice from Goodwin Procter LLP. Committed debt financing for the transaction has been provided by the Senior Direct Lending Program, a joint venture between Ares Capital Corporation and Varagon Capital Partners, and Northwestern Mutual Capital.

Okay. Well, I hope they know what they're doing.

...

Anything else? Brexit? I'm afraid I won't be writing about Brexit no more. I have a few foreign readers, and I'm just too embarrassed to write on the matter, frankly. Christ! I never imagined this country would be destroyed by so-called ... patriots. 'Ha!' They should be up on a charge, man, the whole lot of them.

Monday, 17 July 2017

[No. 530] Off to Pluto

I fancy a change. It's probably a lot like going beyond the THREE. 'Ha!' What? 'I doubt it, man.' Well, whatever.

And ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[1], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[2], and I should, should, should not - ![1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[2], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[1], and I should, should, should not - ![2], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[1], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[2], and I'm not strong enough!!![1], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[2], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[1], and I'm not strong enough!!![2], and maybe I'll stay here ...[1], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[2], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[1], and maybe I'll stay here ...[2], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[1], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[2], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[1], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[2], and a vision, not a goal[1], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[2], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[1], and a vision, not a goal[2], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![1], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[2], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![1], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![2], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![1], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![2], and free ... uh, tied to a line![1], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![2], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[1], and free ... uh, tied to a line![2], and never trust a ... you know[1], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[2], and ... Pluto?[1], and never trust a ... you know[2], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[1], and ... Pluto?[2], and ... YES(!) - !!![1], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[2], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![2], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[3], and I should, should, should not - ![3], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[3], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[3], and I'm not strong enough!!![3], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[3], and maybe I'll stay here ...[3], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[3], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[3], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[3], and a vision, not a goal[3], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[3], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![3], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![3], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![3], and free ... uh, tied to a line![3], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[3], and never trust a ... you know[3], and ... Pluto?[3], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![3], and

And ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[1], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[2], and I should, should, should not - ![1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[2], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[1], and I should, should, should not - ![2], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[1], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[2], and I'm not strong enough!!![1], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[2], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[1], and I'm not strong enough!!![2], and maybe I'll stay here ...[1], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[2], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[1], and maybe I'll stay here ...[2], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[1], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[2], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[1], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[2], and a vision, not a goal[1], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[2], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[1], and a vision, not a goal[2], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![1], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[2], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![1], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![2], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![1], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![2], and free ... uh, tied to a line![1], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![2], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[1], and free ... uh, tied to a line![2], and never trust a ... you know[1], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[2], and ... Pluto?[1], and never trust a ... you know[2], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[1], and ... Pluto?[2], and ... YES(!) - !!![1], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[2], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![2], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[3], and I should, should, should not - ![3], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[3], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[3], and I'm not strong enough!!![3], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[3], and maybe I'll stay here ...[3], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[3], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[3], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[3], and a vision, not a goal[3], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[3], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![3], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![3], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![3], and free ... uh, tied to a line![3], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[3], and never trust a ... you know[3], and ... Pluto?[3], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![3], and

And ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[1], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[2], and I should, should, should not - ![1], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[2], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[1], and I should, should, should not - ![2], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[1], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[2], and I'm not strong enough!!![1], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[2], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[1], and I'm not strong enough!!![2], and maybe I'll stay here ...[1], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[2], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[1], and maybe I'll stay here ...[2], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[1], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[2], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[1], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[2], and a vision, not a goal[1], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[2], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[1], and a vision, not a goal[2], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![1], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[2], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![1], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![2], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![1], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![2], and free ... uh, tied to a line![1], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![2], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[1], and free ... uh, tied to a line![2], and never trust a ... you know[1], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[2], and ... Pluto?[1], and never trust a ... you know[2], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[1], and ... Pluto?[2], and ... YES(!) - !!![1], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[2], and ... off we go! / Uh, are you coming?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![2], and sometimes I lose my discipline / I mean, I choose to / Yes, it's a choice[3], and I should, should, should not - ![3], and sometimes I see Pluto, looking so inviting, and I want to go, man, I wanna go - RIGHT NOW(!!!)[3], and, yeah, let's be honest, nothing like the THREE, but ...[3], and I'm not strong enough!!![3], and it's not a salvation, man, no, it's a disaster / and the straight line is where I must live[3], and maybe I'll stay here ...[3], and, hey, I'm stuck anyway, so stuck, so ...[3], and module four, fourteen/fifteen minutes in, a man walks past, and Jordan's eyes speak volumes[3], and it's either the greatest album ever, for starters, or ... a one-way ticket to Palookaville[3], and a vision, not a goal[3], and I don't wanna say, one day: "It was you, Voice"[3], and 'Ha, ha, ha!' ... / and, oh, yes, yes ... and stop laughing, fucking idiot![3], and with me or against me, Voice, come on![3], and it's time to make a stand, to quit all the nonsense, all the howling chaos: just be clean![3], and free ... uh, tied to a line![3], and discipline will save us all - but with our own rules, not the rules of fascists and exploiters[3], and never trust a ... you know[3], and ... Pluto?[3], and no, no, no, cosmos, God, universal spirit, whatever ... I'm staying right here, son, you dig?[3], and ... YES(!) - !!![3], and

STAR Capital Partners has raised €800 million!

Okay, okay. Ha! Not pounds though, even though ... they're based in London. Which is fine by me. Let's teach those awful Brexiters a lesson! The latest is, we won't have food security when we leave the EU. Can you believe that?! We won't even know if we're getting our fucking dinner from one day to the next. The whole thing is beyond belief. 'Boss.' What, Voice? 'About the fund, yeah?' Oh, right. Well, it's their third fund, man. They're calling it STAR Strategic Assets III. And it's a buyout fund, apparently. 'Okay. But what's with this star thing in CAPITALS all the time, man? Why are they doing that?' I don't know, Voice. How would I know? It's just a style thing, I suppose. They want to stand out from the crowd.

Oh, the firm (from their website) ...

Established in 1999, STAR looks for businesses or assets protected by a strong strategic position, located in Western Europe with enterprise value between €50 million and €1 billion. Certain capital intensive activities clearly demonstrate these characteristics. However, we have extensive experience in recognizing and developing these qualities across the business spectrum.

Nice one. And there's more -

We are an independent partnership, owned and managed by the senior partners and with the flexibility and capacity to make quick decisions. Our structure ensures the early involvement of the senior team and a continued focus on key decisions in each portfolio company.

Okay. Thanks, guys. 'Uh, there's more, boss.' Christ!

STAR has rigorous protocols in place to address Environmental, Social and Governance (ESG) matters, as we regard ESG as inextricably linked to building long-term sustainable value in our investments. STAR's polices are developed to take into account the specific activity of each portfolio company.

Yes, thank you, guys. I know you're enthusiastic. Jesus! We didn't really need that last bit though. Never mind. / Well, I hope it all goes well for them. Obviously, dear reader(s), you will have to make your own judgements. 'Ha!' What? 'Well, they're not going to take your word for anything, are they?' Shut up, man. Seriously. Remember who pays your wages. 'Who? What fucking wages?!' Shut it. / I really can't get the staff ...

...

Anything else? Music? Well, dear reader(s), I've scrapped the new tune that I said I would never scrap, and I've brought back the other new tune that I scrapped because ... it's actually very good, you dig? I hope that's clear. No more music updates. Ever.

Thursday, 13 July 2017

[No. 529] Magic time

What do YOU(!) believe?

And this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[1], and ... who?[1], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[2], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[1], and ... who?[2], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[1], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[2], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[1], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[2], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[1], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[1], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[2], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[2], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[1], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[2], and spin?[1], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[2], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[1], and spin?[2], and, yes, spin![1], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[2], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[1], and, yes, spin![2], and don't fucking think![1], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![1], and don't fucking think![2], and ... why? Oh![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![2], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[1], and ... why? Oh![2], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[1], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[2], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[1], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[2], and don't be sad[1], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[2], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[1], and don't be sad[2], and ... WAKE UP![1], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[2], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[3], and ... WAKE UP![2], and ... who?[3], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[3], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[3], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[3], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[3], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[3], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[3], and spin?[3], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[3], and, yes, spin![3], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[3], and don't fucking think![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![3], and ... why? Oh![3], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[3], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[3], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[3], and don't be sad[3], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[3], and ... WAKE UP![3], and

And this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[1], and ... who?[1], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[2], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[1], and ... who?[2], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[1], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[2], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[1], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[2], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[1], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[1], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[2], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[2], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[1], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[2], and spin?[1], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[2], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[1], and spin?[2], and, yes, spin![1], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[2], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[1], and, yes, spin![2], and don't fucking think![1], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![1], and don't fucking think![2], and ... why? Oh![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![2], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[1], and ... why? Oh![2], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[1], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[2], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[1], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[2], and don't be sad[1], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[2], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[1], and don't be sad[2], and ... WAKE UP![1], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[2], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[3], and ... WAKE UP![2], and ... who?[3], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[3], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[3], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[3], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[3], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[3], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[3], and spin?[3], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[3], and, yes, spin![3], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[3], and don't fucking think![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![3], and ... why? Oh![3], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[3], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[3], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[3], and don't be sad[3], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[3], and ... WAKE UP![3], and

And this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[1], and ... who?[1], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[2], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[1], and ... who?[2], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[1], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[2], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[1], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[2], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[1], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[1], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[2], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[2], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[1], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[2], and spin?[1], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[2], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[1], and spin?[2], and, yes, spin![1], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[2], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[1], and, yes, spin![2], and don't fucking think![1], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![1], and don't fucking think![2], and ... why? Oh![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![2], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[1], and ... why? Oh![2], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[1], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[2], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[1], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[2], and don't be sad[1], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[2], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[1], and don't be sad[2], and ... WAKE UP![1], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[2], and this ... is MAGIC TIME, believe me[3], and ... WAKE UP![2], and ... who?[3], and I can make your mind disappear / and I can turn your consciousness into pure muck, if there is such a thing[3], and - give up, give in / Yes, I'm your master[3], and maybe you're a fighter, but you're going to be a loser NOW(!) ... with eyes so very heavy[3], and I love you when you're asleep, and you love me when I’m talking/writing[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... faster, please destroy these words to feel better[3], and YOU(!) ... want to feel better, surely?[3], and it's not as if you actually know who you are / and there are so many of your type around[3], and spin?[3], and, but ... they don't always get a-ROUND, you dig? / and some are just too square[3], and, yes, spin![3], and this - !!! ... is your time, your chance, my chance, your opportunity, and I have control, yes[3], and don't fucking think![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, slower, if you're sick, really sick, of course you are![3], and ... why? Oh![3], and when we're done, son ... daughter, I will have the burden of another mindless follower ... / Why do I bother?[3], and you wouldn't want the terrifying freedom that I have, obviously ...[3], and letting go of your job, your family, your society is ... the ultimate magic, BELIEVE ME[3], and don't be sad[3], and I order you to smile NOW(!) without a care in the cosmos[3], and ... WAKE UP![3], and

The Bunker gets some investment from Palatine Private Equity

The Bunker again. / And I don't want any crude jokes about The Bunker, thank you, dear reader(s), Voice. I'm not in the mood this morning. 'You've been in a bad mood all week, boss.' So?

Right. Blah, blah, blah. We don't need that. Blah, blah, blah. We don't need this. 'That bit? Are you sure?' We don't need it, Voice. Trust me. Right. About Palatine ...

Founded in 2005, Palatine Private Equity is an entrepreneurial, Partner led private equity business with a focus on backing like-minded people in the UK regional lower middle market. The Partners have over 80 years' experience working with entrepreneurs and management teams in private equity backed businesses.

Over eighty years' experience in just twelve years. Impressive! / Now, surely the firm sees huge potential in The Bunker - ?

Palatine sees huge potential in The Bunker as an Ultra-Secure Managed Service Provider and plans to build The Bunker to create a full service cyber security business and several acquisitions to achieve this aim have already been identified.

I knew it! / Okay. What did Phil Bindley say?

Phil Bindley, Managing Director at The Bunker said: "The investment and backing of Palatine is a huge endorsement of the quality of our business and the unique offering we have in today's increasingly security focused market. Equally and importantly the cultural fit between The Bunker's management team, Andy Hague Group CEO and Palatine was one that stood out to us during this process. In particular their strong held belief that the route to making businesses as successful as possible is by investing in people, a view that resonated soundly with myself and the wider management team of The Bunker. The entire business are tremendously excited about the opportunities this will bring and the additional services and value we will be able to deliver to customers both current and new."

Well, that's all right. So, uh ... 'What did Andy Hague say, boss?' I really don't know, Voice. And I don't care. 'Oh.' However, Tony Dickin is another matter!

Tony Dickin, Partner at Palatine Private Equity, said: "We look forward to working with the management team of The Bunker and Andy Hague in building on the excellent market position the Company has in the high security managed service sector, as well as developing its position in the wider cyber security space. As part of the value creation plan for the business we will look to deliver a buy and build strategy and we are currently in discussions with a number of parties we believe will provide exciting additional services to the Bunker. We believe the management team have built a fantastic business to date and that there is a currently a significant market opportunity to develop the business further."

And ... ENDS, as they say in the business. 'Shame about Andy, boss.' Ha! I can't quote everyone, man. I'd be here all day. And I'm hungry, you know? I want my lunch. I've got a cheese and pickle sandwich.

...

Right. Anything else? It's the end of the week, alligator(s), and I'm knackered. (No. 529 later though.) 'Music, Mikey?' All right, Voice, music. I've got another new tune, nearly. Just need to finish half a chorus. And I'm keeping this one. 'Ha!' I mean it this time, son. It's a big tune. With the right lyric it could be a big song, like those other two. And if all three were to appear on the same album, well ... 'People would have to give up their religious beliefs, like Carlito Brigante said.' Exactly!

Anyway, later(s).

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Adam Bradley at FTI Consulting ...

Who is this guy? You're probably wondering, dear reader(s). Well, don't worry about it because I have all the news. 'All the news, boss?' Fuckin' A all the news! I got an email from FTI Consulting, man. 'Oh.' Yeah, big time. They're excited because they've just made this guy senior managing director in charge or involved, I don't know if he's in charge or what, but ... the private equity shit, you understand. 'Oh. Nice.' All their services to the private equity sector. I suppose. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's better if they explain -

London, 11 July 2017 - FTI Consulting, Inc is delighted to announce the appointment of Adam Bradley as a Senior Managing Director in the firm's Operational Transformation practice. He will be based in London.

In London. 'Great! Maybe we can pop in and see him sometime. Maybe go out for a drink, yeah?' Ha! Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Voice. We hardly know this guy. For all we know Adam Bradley is a raving lunatic. A total nut!

Adam will help accelerate the growth of FTI Consulting's Operational Transformation capabilities in Europe and further expand its services to the private equity sector. He has more than 20 years of consulting experience and focuses on shaping and delivering large, complex and urgent business transformation and profit improvement programmes for private equity-backed businesses. He has extensive experience across multiple industries, in particular healthcare and life sciences, telecommunications, media and technology, infrastructure and business services.

Okay, okay. Probably not. Adam probably isn't a raving lunatic, or a total nut. Which is a good thing for FTI Consulting. 'Why would they want to hire a madman?' That's my point. They wouldn't. Not if they value the good reputation of their business, anyway. Now, let's see where he comes from ...

Mr Bradley joins FTI Consulting from Alvarez & Marsal, where he was a Partner in the Private Equity Performance Improvement practice. Previous consulting experience includes positions with Accenture and Arthur D Little. Mr Bradley also practiced as a restructuring lawyer with Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer. He has an M.Sc. in Economics from the University of York and completed the Advanced Business Management Programme at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University.

Yeah, the guy's okay. FFS! He's got university degrees and everything. My mind is officially put at rest, you dig? 'Yes. What a relief! And I should imagine that Kevin Hewitt is well happy, boss.' Who?! 'Kevin Hewitt.' Who the fuck is Kevin Hewitt?! Seriously, Voice, I've never heard of the guy. 'Christ! Look -'

Kevin Hewitt, Chairman of the Europe, Middle East and Africa region at FTI Consulting, said, "Adam's extensive, hands-on experience will be of significant value as we continue to expand our European offering and help our private equity clients create value across the investment lifecycle. I am delighted to welcome him to the team."

Oh, okay. Well, that's all right then. And our Kev is delighted, too. 'Yippee!' This whole thing just gets better ... / Ah, about FTI Consulting, dear reader(s)? Your wish is my command -

FTI Consulting, Inc. is a global business advisory firm dedicated to helping organizations manage change, mitigate risk and resolve disputes: financial, legal, operational, political & regulatory, reputational and transactional. With more than 4,700 employees located in 29 countries, FTI Consulting professionals work closely with clients to anticipate, illuminate and overcome complex business challenges and make the most of opportunities. The Company generated $1.81 billion in revenues during fiscal year 2016.

Happy now? Well, you should be. Laters.

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

The Partech International Ventures VII fund

Good news. Well, for Partech Ventures. 'Them again, boss?' Them again, Voice.

Partech Ventures announces today the final closing of its seventh venture fund at the €400M hard cap, thus completing a unique investment program spanning from pre-seed, seed, venture to growth stages over the past eighteen months.

Unique? What's unique about it? Never mind. I'm sure we'll find out. / Oh, I've got a headache/migraine thing, dear reader(s). One of my eyes is all messed up from the smart phone. So I'm not going to be my usual fun self this morning.

The Partech International Ventures VII fund reached its hard cap of €400M in June 2017. It has been oversubscribed, bringing together thirty major European and U.S. investors along with business angels, entrepreneurs and tech executives. All previous investors renewed their support, and new leading international players joined them, accounting for half of the investors of the round.

Okay. I think "unique" is just something they say. There's no harm in it. 'Everyone likes to think they're doing something unique, boss.' Of course they do. It's human nature.

Investments across the Partech platform range from €200K in seed to €40M in growth and meet all financing needs of the best innovative startups, regardless of their development stage. The investments cover the entire scope of emerging technologies which are shaping the future of major industries, such as applications, software and cloud computing, artificial intelligence, consumer electronics, robots and components, industry of the future, virtual reality, blockchain, drones, mobility, cybersecurity, networks and infrastructure, etc.

Okay. Not too much human nature there. It's all bloody robots! I don't see the attraction myself.

There's a lot of this email and it's making me feel worse, my eye, like. I'll finish with this -

With this strong growth in investments, made possible by several generations of extraordinary entrepreneurs, dozens of tech and digital champions are emerging in Europe. The promising new tech companies are financed by venture funds which now have both the critical size and the means to support these entrepreneurs on a very operational level. Another key element of the ecosystem is the fact that several major European corporations are beginning to reap the rewards of their digital transformation, and are making ambitious acquisitions up to hundreds of millions of euros.

Maybe it is unique. Maybe if I were in a better mood ... 'It all depends on your point of view, boss.' Yes.

...

Anything else? Oh, I hope not. I want to have a lie down in a minute. Actually, why wait a minute? 'Ha!' Laters, blog fan(s)!