Thursday, 30 July 2015

Centrica is cutting 6,000 jobs

Yeah, the owner of British Gas, which has recently doubled its profits. 'Unbelievable!' Well, that's capitalism for you, Voice. One day you're a proud member of a "hard-working family", the next day you're a "shirker".

Maybe Jeremy Corbyn will change things. Not globally, obviously. However, he might be able to put up a fight in this country. He seems to be tougher than Ed Miliband. The media attacks him and he just shrugs his shoulders. 'That's what firm beliefs and a sense of morality do for you, boss.' Too right!

Ha! What do I believe in, dear reader(s)? 'Tell them!' Oh, I believe in the blues, man. I've got my two guitars, acoustic and electric. And I've got three chords and the truth. What else do I need?

...

Well, well ... / My "soft launch" of my "fresh start" is almost over. I think soft launches are a mistake though, don't you? If you don't fully commit from the very beginning ... you know what I mean? / Hopefully, the hard(?) launch will go okay on Sunday. It's all psychological. I've got to cut myself off from other possibilities, and activities, you dig? 'Easier said than done, Mikey.' Tell me about it, Voice! 'Okay ...' No, don't.

Later(s), crocodile(s).

[No. 336] Aaron Garvey is a-ROUND

He should be sorting out his LinkedIn profile.

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

Aaron Garvey needs to update his LinkedIn profile!

Oh, I can't believe this! / Aaron, you ain't at Davy Capital no more, son! Get a grip! [These people ...] 'What's the problem, boss?' Uh, this Aaron Garvey character, man. He's got a new job at Marinus Capital Advisors, you dig? 'Oh, right.' As a senior macro trader. He was a macro portfolio manager before, and now - 'And now he's a senior macro trader.' Yes. 'Well, it's no big deal, boss. I suppose Mr Garvey is busy at the moment.' Busy? Busy doing what?! 'Er ... getting ready. We don't even know if he's started at Marinus yet. He might need a new suit, for one thing.' [A new suit. He should have new suits coming out of his ears. He's a trader! Not a bum on the street.] Okay, Voice, we'll give him a bit more time. But if his LinkedIn profile isn't updated by Monday I'm going to have a word with him. A few words, probably. 'Ha! Why do you care?' It just drives me crazy, man, you know, inaccurate information on the internet. I hate that shit! 'What does Bloomberg say?' Oh, you're having a laugh, ain't ya? I'm not going to those Bloomberg wankers! 'Of course not. This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.' Shut up! I'm not in the mood.

...

'Er ... lunch, Mikey?' Not yet! / By the way, dear reader(s), Marinus Capital Advisors LLC, founded in 2010, over in America somewhere, is an asset management firm that seeks to deliver to its limited partners superior risk adjusted returns with low correlations to the broader equity and fixed income markets. And the firm manages $440 million in assets, roughly. / And Davy Capital? I don't know nothing about Davy Capital. Sorry. If you're so interested, Google it, yeah?

...

'Lunch?' Okay! Luxury egg sandwich, McCoy's crisps ... cheese and onion flavour (obviously, with the egg, can't have salt and vinegar), and a strawberry yoghurt, and a can of Coke(!!!). / 'Coke.' Yes, I know. I'm going to cut down on the Coke, man. I don't want to end up like Warren Buffett, do I? A billionaire!

'Music?' Music? I was watching Eric Clapton on YouTube last night, playing Sunshine of Your Love in concert, with bar chords, single notes, double-stops. No problem at all! Very smooth. / I had a go on my Telecaster afterwards. I almost got it, almost. Jumbled fingers! But some guys - like Noel Gallagher or the late, great Kurt Cobain - wouldn't even try. / One day at a time, eh?

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

[No. 335] "I now command my subconscious mind to direct me to get DIZZY(!) like a deranged shaman"

Incantation! Believe!

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

Dreihaus Capital Management and VAM Funds!!!

Right, where to start? Another goddamn merger! 'Another goddamn merger?!' You heard me, Voice. Well, they're launching a global long/short equity fund together, anyway. Dreihaus Capital in Chicago, USA, and VAM Funds in, er, Luxembourg - ?!?! 'Christ, boss! How on earth did they ever meet? Chicago is a long way from Luxembourg!' Yeah, I know. Sweet home Chicago in the land of California. 'Eh?' Robert Johnson, man. Don't worry about it. [Great guitarist, singer/songwriter, dear reader(s). Didn't know shit about geography, unfortunately. 'It didn't hold him back, Mikey.' No. 'Oh, I like it in here.' Shut up!] Well, er ...

Driehaus Capital Management!!! ... is a privately-held investment management firm based in Chicago, Illinois. Founded in 1982, the firm manages global, emerging markets, U.S. growth equity and alternative investment strategies. The firm has a diverse institutional client base comprised of corporate and public pensions, endowments, foundations, sub-advisory, family offices, wealth managers and financial advisors, globally. Driehaus is a performance-oriented investment management boutique that emphasizes integrity, transparency, and the alignment of the firm's interests with its clients. One more thing, they all live together, the staff, in a big old house like something out of the Addams Family.

VAM Funds!!! ... is a specialist investment firm that uses its experience, expertise and flair [Flair?! I love these guys!] to access some of the industry’s most talented global fund managers on behalf of its clients. VAM's business has been built on a continuing pursuit of fund management excellence, combined with a first-class service to its clients.

So, there we have it. Two firms, one new fund. It's the way finance is going, reader(s). Firms are either working with each other to SURVIVE!!! or they're going the Aviva Investors, Cantab, Neptune route: Oh, the sun is shining! We ain't working for no fascist slave drivers today, man. Let's get out of here! The park, or the pub. Where's the Lego?

...

Okay, okay. That's enough. I'm still struggling, fighting negative moods, you dig? I'll go for a spin after lunch, No. 335. Maybe it will make me feel ... a bit better.

Music? I ain't got nothing on yet. / Guitar? I put some new strings on my FG730S the other day, but I'm scared of wearing them out now before I try to record my songs again. So ... I'm playing an old crappy acoustic. 'What about your Telecaster, Mikey?' I could play that, Voice. It means setting the amp up though, and it's noisy. 'You haven't had any complaints, have you?' No, the neighbours are noisy bastards themselves, always screaming in the street like sick fucking idiots. What's the matter with them?!

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Stephanie Flanders wants me to hold her tight

Well, all right, love, if you insist, but, please, get rid of that awful necklace, yeah? I've told you enough times, babe!

Oh, I'm really not in the best of moods this morning, dear reader(s), so let's keep finance out of it, yeah? I got the blues. / I was only joking about our Steph. Go and read the Fundweb article. She's saying we've all got to hold tight because there's going to be more volatility. 'Ha! Some things never change, boss.' Tell me about it!

Well, well ... / I got the blues, man. A blues book actually (with CD). There are two hundred or so riffs. You've got to learn them all, string them together, improvise a bit, add some of your own, and before you know where you are you're playing classic blues-rock like Eric Clapton and Angus Young. Easy!

My fresh start? I'm still at the "soft launch" stage, but from Sunday there's going to be twenty weeks till Christmas. That's when it gets hardcore. Believe!

I'm still doing the incantations. 'Yeah?' Yeah, big time. Well, really one incantation I've personalized from a Robbins one. It's going a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND in my head, 24/7, you dig? 'Oh no!' Hey, I'm not complaining, Voice. It's how you make progress.

'Er ... lunch?!' Lunch! Oh, I don't know. I'm barely awake. Give me a chance. I've got other problems, man. 'Egg? Luxury egg sandwich, Mikey?' Luxury egg sounds lovely, man. You buying? 'No.' Do one then!

Laters, reader(s). I'll be all right tomorrow.

Monday, 27 July 2015

Ares Kayne Management?!

What?! Another merger?! What the hell is going on, man? Why is everyone merging? 'They're scared, boss. It's a cold world out there. Safety in numbers.' Safety in numbers? The ONE, and the TWO, and then the THREE. Oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND. Yes, I can relate to that. BUT(!) ... will we ever get beyond?

NOW(!) isn't the time, so ... let's focus on Ares Kayne Management. It doesn't exist yet. We'll have to wait until the end of the year. At the moment we have two separate firms, Ares Management and Kayne Anderson Capital Advisors.

THINGS ON OUR MIND: OPTIMIZING ALLOCATIONS AND RISK ADJUSTED RETURNS IN TODAY'S LOW INTEREST RATE ENVIRONMENT - GROWTH OF NON-BANK CORPORATE AND REAL ESTATE LENDING - OPTIMIZING CAPITAL STRUCTURE SOLUTIONS FOR BUSINESSES TO UNLOCK VALUE AND DRIVE GROWTH - GLOBAL REAL ESTATE EQUITY OPPORTUNITIES ... Christ!!! 'What's all that, boss?' Oh, Voice, you won't believe how difficult it was. 'What?' Catching those words, man, from the Ares Management website. They kept moving! 'Oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yeah?' Well, no. Maybe, sort of. Just ... a-LONG, and a-LONG, and a-LONG, you know? 'Bloody hell!' Yeah. It's my influence. But they could have asked me first. What a shock! 'What about the Kayne Anderson Capital Advisors website?' Er ... Niche focused. Alternative investing. Results driven. 'Not moving, then?' No, just sitting there on the screen. Comforting, in a way. 'Oh.' Yeah, it's pretty boring, after all the excitement with Ares.

Different cultures, I suppose. Will these two firms be able to get on together? / What do I care? It's Monday morning, dear reader(s)!

...

Music? I'm listening to two new (old) AC/DC albums, Highway to Hell and Powerage. / Highway is pretty disappointing with weak songs. Only two classics, the title track and Shot Down in Flames. However, Powerage is great! Might be their best album, although it doesn't have any "hits" on it, strangely. My favourite track is Up to My Neck in You. Awesome guitar playing!

Er ... guitar? My guitar? Well, I was rockin' in the free world yesterday with my Telecaster, standing up. (It's more difficult standing up, man.) I almost managed Sunshine of Your Love ... bar chords, single notes, double-stops. Oh, it ain't easy! / But improvising with single notes went like a dream. I might have another go later, after my sandwich ...

Laters.

Friday, 24 July 2015

[No. 334] Richard Black is back!

It's like he never went away!

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

Richard Black has left Legal & General Investment Management!

Well, well ... / Yes, fund manager Richard Black (£591 million UK equity income fund) is joining the AC/DC Rock or Bust tour. (I think they're playing in Poland this weekend.) Great news! 'What are you going on about, Mikey?' Voice, our Richard is back in black, man! He's been reading my blog, yeah? He knows rock and roll is where it's at. And he knows that finance is dead now. He's got loads of money, nine lives, cat's eyes, and he doesn't really need to work no more, so ... he's going to be a roadie, as a sort of hobby. I suppose he'll just be hanging out with the band, making the tea and stuff. 'Are you serious?!' Oh, don't take my word for it. Listen to Lance Phillips, head of active equity at LGIM, speaking RIGHT NOW(!) in my head, just like you: "We were hoping Richard would stay on for a while to ensure a seamless handover of responsibilities to Andrew Koch, interim manager of the fund. Unfortunately, Richie has to be in Warsaw for tomorrow night because he's going to roll to the guitar bite." You see? 'Fucking hell! It's true!' Of course it is!

Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! / Dear reader(s), this is going to happen more and more. 'Really! Believe him!' Believe me, please. I predict that a couple of years from now finance firms will struggle to find any managers at all for their funds. It's a change of culture. People are sick of working like dogs. Hundred-hour weeks?! Why?! Why would you do that? 'Madness!' GET OUT!!! GET OUT AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!

...

Anything else? Er ... I've got an egg sandwich, a luxury one. I'll be taking Mr Black for a spin later.

Politics?! Political news? Well, there is an endless stream of anti-Corbyn articles coming out of the Guardian at the moment. 'Jesus!' Oh, there is no democracy in Great Britain. If you don't vote the way you're told, if you don't choose the leaders you are told to choose ... oh man, big trouble, yeah? Big trouble! YOU ARE NOT FREE!

Thursday, 23 July 2015

No finance! Going out! But guitar! And incantations!

Calm down, dear reader(s). There will be finance tomorrow, a couple of posts, but I'm going out today.

So, er ...

Music?! Guitar? I've been watching videos on YouTube of guitar wizards I've only vaguely heard of - guys like Eric Johnson and Steve Vai - who, er ... seem to be better than Jimi Hendrix, man! (From a technical point of view, anyway.) It's making me think that it might be a mug's game trying to become "the best". I might be better off just modelling myself on my two favourite guitarists, Eric Clapton and Angus Young. I can't compete with the wizards! / On a more positive note, my guitar playing has taken a massive leap up (or forward?) this week merely by using a Tony Robbins technique: those incantations I mentioned the other day. YES!!! If I get myself into a peak state before playing, I not only play better but I learn better as well. Thanks, Tony, mate!

Anything else? Politics? I've got to stop writing about politics, man, because I'm not some awful SQUARE(!!!), you dig? But ... I'll just say that I hope Jeremy Corbyn becomes leader of the Labour Party. Why? Well, I think it'll be nice if they oppose for a change. Yeah, I know I'm weird. A government and ... an opposition! Crazy!