Sunday, 24 May 2015

Sunday afternoon blues

No, I'm not feeling that blue, actually. I'm just listening to Robert Johnson, that's all. / Well, well ... er, I should be BLUE(!), yeah, blue as hell, with all the troubles I've seen, but ... I'm in an optimistic mood for a strange reason. I have no control; emotions, feelings. 'Who does?' Robots, Voice. And that's why they'll never be as smart as humans. I mean, all this bullshit you hear about how they're going to replace us. Ha! 'Ha!' They ain't got no souls, man.

I shouldn't have to explain this stuff ... / No robot will ever be able to sound like Robert Johnson with his Love in Vain. It's not possible. Not now, and not a million years from now. / My dear reader(s), please, take a close look at the "people" who rave about computers and robots all the time. A real close look. You'll notice that they are soulless individuals. 'Big time!' Coincidence? I think not. They deserve each other. 'Yeah. / Who do, boss?' The soulless humans and the tin cans. That's all they are. Just tin cans with a few wires inside. 'Yeah.' Uh. It's all shit. The whole lot of it! I don't even know why I'm writing about them ...

And that's why I like the Voice. 'You like me, Mikey?' I love you, man. The thing about you is, you're pure spirit. I'm sorry for what I said Thursday night. 'Eh?' You know, not having a body, and head, and that. 'Oh. Well ... I mentioned it first.' It's not your fault, son. You're probably better off out of it, anyway. Who cares that you can't play the guitar? 'I can play the astral guitar.' Can you?! 'Yeah, sure.' Well, there you go! You're laughing, Voice. 'Ha, ha, ha!' It's just an expression.

...

Terraplane Blues. Oh, that's some heavy shit on the guitar!

Thursday, 21 May 2015

What about those bank fines, eh?

Barclays was fined £1.5 billion. They can afford it, of course. And Royal Bank of Scotland was fined £430 million. 'No problem, boss! The taxpayer can afford it.' Oh yeah, the taxpayer owns the bank. Yeah, we can afford it. I mean, we can't afford to support the unemployed, or the sick, or the disabled. They've all got to do workfare, even if they're dying. But the banks? No problem, man! 'No problem, Mikey!' No problem at all.

...

Oh, that's enough. I don't want to go insane. The lies in this world, the dirt. Thank God for the pub and the river!

I hope it's sunny tomorrow.

Bank holiday, too! 'Yippee!' Yeah. There's no rest for the wicked though. I've got guitar playing to do. 'That's not work, boss.' Oh no? I'd like to see you put in the hours that I put in. 'I don't have any hands. I don't have any fingers.' Uh. Voice, I've heard it all before, son. I don't have any hands. I don't have a head. I don't have a body. Change the record, will you?!

Anyway, reader(s), have a nice weekend. Laters.

[No. 318] Point72 don't wanna be inhuman like Man Group, man!

Stevie needs to rethink what he's doing. Computers are evil!

And I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[1], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[2], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[2], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![1], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![2], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![1], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![2], and I really don't know ...[1], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![2], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[1], and I really don't know ...[2], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![1], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[2], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![1], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![2], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[1], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[1], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[2], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[2], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[1], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[2], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[1], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[2], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![1], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[2], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![1], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![2], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![2], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[3], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![3], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![3], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![3], and I really don't know ...[3], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[3], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![3], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![3], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[3], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[3], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[3], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[3], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![3], and

And I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[1], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[2], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[2], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![1], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![2], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![1], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![2], and I really don't know ...[1], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![2], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[1], and I really don't know ...[2], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![1], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[2], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![1], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![2], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[1], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[1], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[2], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[2], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[1], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[2], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[1], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[2], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![1], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[2], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![1], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![2], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![2], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[3], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![3], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![3], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![3], and I really don't know ...[3], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[3], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![3], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![3], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[3], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[3], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[3], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[3], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![3], and

And I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[1], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[2], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![1], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[2], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![1], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![2], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![1], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![2], and I really don't know ...[1], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![2], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[1], and I really don't know ...[2], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![1], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[2], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![1], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![2], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[1], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[1], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[2], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[2], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[1], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[2], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[1], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[2], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![1], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[2], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![1], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![2], and I'm just saying ... NO COMPUTERS, you dig?[3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![2], and the trouble is ... these computers get into your soul until you don't have a SOUL(!)[3], and I ain't got nuthin' against Mr Timmy Shaughnessy ... but he was at IBM for thirty-three goddamn years, man![3], and I have to say ... alarm bells are ringing![3], and yes, yes, yes, obviously, I'm using a computer for all this ... but, oh, I don't know![3], and I really don't know ...[3], and in the cave, any cave, that's where our FUTURE(!) is!!! - ???[3], and what is it, HAL, or AHL, those freaks have got? / and I mean got it so bad, Christ![3], and ... THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!!![3], and, and, and ... maybe I'm getting hysterical, oh Stevie, oh Timmy, are you ... here - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... let us get clean, get DIZZY(!), just forget ... all the pain[3], and it's the numbers that drive us crazy ... / all the ONES and the ZEROS[3], and here ... we go, one, two, THREE / oh, uh, er ... we don't go any further than that - ?[3], and the squares don't know, and don't care to know[3], and if we could, would we? / Beyond the THREE, totally gone, GONE(!) forever ... !!![3], and ... / WE ARE STILL here - !!![3], and

Timothy Shaughnessy is the new chief operating officer at Point72

[Was there an old COO? I don't know. Stevie Cohen's Point72 is expanding so fast. Surely, it'll be managing outside money soon?] / By the way, it's Tim, or Timmy, dear reader(s). It all depends on how well you know the guy. I hardly know him at all, so I'm going to call him Mr Shaughnessy.

Well, well ... / The thing that worries me is, our Timmy has been working at IBM for the last thirty-three years. (He's what you might call a "veteran".) He knows all about computers and data and shit. Uh. It's pretty obvious that our Stevie is getting into computers in a big way now. And that could be dangerous. I mean, look at Man Group. HAL controls everything in that firm. Staff can't even go to the toilet without HAL watching them. Is that what Stevie wants?

NO! What we need, what everyone needs, what Point72 needs, man, is good old-fashioned human trading and fund management. Did I go into the desert with the blood and fire just so we can hand everything over to the computers and robots? NO! Did I get DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND with more than three hundred conceptual posts just so ... you understand, dear reader(s), yeah?

Oh, let me have my lunch, and I'll see what I can do, later. No. 318. [Egg sandwich, luxury, the best money can buy. McCoy's crisps, cheese and onion: in my experience, you can't have salt and vinegar with an egg sandwich. Can of Coke. Peach yoghurt.] YOU(!) probably think I'm crazy. However, I honestly believe that guys like Timmy and Stevie can be affected by the spinning. It can change them. I've just got to lure them in ...

I am building it. They will come!

...

Music? I'm listening to a seventeen-minute-long Neil Young song, Ramada Inn. People don't write great songs these days (with the exception of me, of course) but this is a recent classic. Check it out on YouTube or something. I haven't got the link. I can't do everything for you, son (daughter).

Lunch? I'm starving!

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

[No. 317] For my sins ...

I get a-ROUND.

And I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[1], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[2], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[2], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![1], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![2], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[1], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![2], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[1], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[2], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[1], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[2], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[1], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[2], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![1], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[2], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[1], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![2], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[1], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[2], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![1], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[2], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[1], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![2], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[1], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[2], and we still got mystery, oh dear![1], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[2], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[1], and we still got mystery, oh dear![2], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[1], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[2], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[1], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[2], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[2], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[3], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![3], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![3], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[3], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[3], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[3], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[3], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![3], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[3], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[3], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![3], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[3], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[3], and we still got mystery, oh dear![3], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[3], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[3], and

And I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[1], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[2], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[2], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![1], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![2], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[1], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![2], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[1], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[2], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[1], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[2], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[1], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[2], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![1], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[2], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[1], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![2], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[1], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[2], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![1], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[2], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[1], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![2], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[1], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[2], and we still got mystery, oh dear![1], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[2], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[1], and we still got mystery, oh dear![2], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[1], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[2], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[1], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[2], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[2], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[3], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![3], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![3], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[3], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[3], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[3], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[3], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![3], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[3], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[3], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![3], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[3], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[3], and we still got mystery, oh dear![3], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[3], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[3], and

And I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[1], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[2], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![1], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[2], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![1], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![2], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[1], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![2], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[1], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[2], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[1], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[2], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[1], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[2], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![1], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[2], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[1], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![2], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[1], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[2], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![1], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[2], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[1], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![2], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[1], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[2], and we still got mystery, oh dear![1], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[2], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[1], and we still got mystery, oh dear![2], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[1], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[2], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[1], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[2], and I'm not the only one ... / However, I am the lonely one ... so far out in the cold, cold cosmos, and yet so far in (inside)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[2], and, yes, gone, but always returning ...[3], and if everyone knew how to get clean ... / oh, they would be here ... repenting and revolving![3], and, uh, er, oh ... going again![3], and ... 'Mikey, we love you, man! Bring it on home!'[3], and DIZZY(!) is the way / better than the blood on your face and the fire in your heart[3], and it's not a question of GOD and SATAN ... / We can help ourselves or hurt ourselves, that's all[3], and ... 'I was happy, er, I am happy, in my ignorance'[3], and I made this ... for your sins, man / 'For me?! No, no, no' / Oh, yes, yes, YES![3], and I must ... get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / I've invested so much in the spinning, you dig?[3], and if YOU(!) know what is good for you ... well, I take my hat off to you, my friend(s)[3], and STOP THE UNIVERSE I WANT TO GET OUT!!![3], and ... 'Are you crazy, boss? / Am I crazy? / Are we all crazy?!'[3], and I want a total return! / or a total departure / I can't be doing ... with this ETERNITY(!)[3], and we still got mystery, oh dear![3], and one of these spins, I'll be gone forever, and you'll be gone forever, and we will all be GONE(!) forever[3], and one of these days, there will be no need, no desire ... just some sort of PARADISE(!)[3], and I'm dreaming of a miracle ...[3], and

Borislav Vladimirov has gone to Rokos Capital Management!

Two exciting bits of news! Firstly, Chris Rokos has hired another person for his hedge fund. He has Borislav Vladimirov and Stuart Riley working for him now. This means he won't have to rely on his mum and dad, aunts and uncles, and cousins so much. (Remember, he had a family office, yeah?) Secondly, Chris has finally managed to come up with a name for his firm, Rokos Capital Management. 'Amazing, boss! He must have really stretched his imagination for that one.' Yes, Voice. Our Chris is a genius. There can be no doubt about it.

Oh, and, er ... this Boris, he used to be a partner at Brevan Howard, you know. 'Great!' Yes, it is great. However, that's all I know about him. 'Haven't you looked at his LinkedIn profile, Mikey?' Haven't you?! What do I pay you for, man? 'Er ... you don't pay me, man. I'm your slave, unfortunately.' Christ. Don't be like that. Slave! You're my intern. 'Yeah. Whatever.' There are plenty of other "people" who would like to have your job, Voice. Don't forget who I am, what I am. The world's foremost financial shaman!

Ha! He's gone, dear reader(s). / And he's not even a person. Just a voice. Who else would employ him?

...

Anything else?

Not much. / I'll be writing another conceptual later, for my sins, No. 317. I don't know what the subject will be. (Subject?! Who cares what the subject is? It's the sound of the words that matters. And the vision. The emotional intensity!) Let me have my lunch first. I'm always more creative after a cheese sandwich.

Music? I haven't got anything on yet. / I watched AC/DC Live at River Plate again last night. I always focus on Angus Young. I love his riffs. And he's so entertaining!

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Ed Casal is replacing Bobby Womack at Aviva Investors

No, not Ed Stone. Ed Casal. He's more useful, apparently. / Well, well ... Ed Casal is going to be the new chief executive of global real estate at Aviva Investors. Well done, Ed! 'Are you sure about this, boss? I mean ... Bobby Womack, yeah?' Yes, I'm perfectly sure, Voice. Bobby was a great guy, but nothing lasts forever. (He wrote that brilliant song for The Rolling Stones, It's All Over Now. Well, they covered it, anyway.) / The thing that confuses me though is: Why is Ed Casal in New York? 'How do you know he's in New York?' Because, Voice, his LinkedIn profile says he is. 'Oh. His LinkedIn profile ...' He has more than five hundreds connections, man. It's not a fake one. 'Okay. / Okay, I can explain it, Mikey. Sometimes ... the Aviva Investors mob get a little bored of the pubs near their office, you dig?' Oh. Oh yeah, I understand. You're saying that Ed was sent to New York to enjoy the American bars. 'Yes. A new experience for him.' What about the American parks, and the American ice cream? 'I'm sure they're great, too. Ed's probably having a wonderful time.' I hope so. / Well, well ... by the way, dear reader(s), I have absolutely no idea where our Ed is going to be based with his new role. It's a global job. I suppose it doesn't matter. They might let him stay in New York.

Uh. Christ. I wish I worked at Aviva Investors. They support you in anything you want to do. Want to be a singer, a songwriter? No problem! Want to be a photographer, rolling around on the office floor, pissed out of your head? No problem! You just want to sit on the grass in the local park, eating ice cream? 'Ha!' YOU(!) ... are going to fit right in, son, daughter!

Contact human resources today, dear reader(s). I haven't got the number. You'll have to look at their website.

...

Anything else?

Guitar?! 'Guitar?! You're the guitar man!' Yes. / Thank God for the internet, that's all I can say. 'Say a bit more, boss.' All right. I've been adjusting the way I hold the guitar, the pick, my fretting hand ... because of real helpful shit I've been reading on the forums. You're always going to have trouble teaching yourself, BUT(!) ... the internet is like a teacher, man.

Monday, 18 May 2015

Who on earth is Gideon Nieuwoudt?!

Oh, it's too early in the morning for mysteries! Too early in the week, in fact. However, I'm going to give it my best shot. I'm going to see if I can make any sense out of this "Gideon Nieuwoudt" character.

Well, well ... / I'm already confused! Gideon's LinkedIn profile says he's working at Fermain Technologies. Er ... he ain't! He's working at Edmond de Rothschild as some ... cockamamie director of alternative investment solutions - if you can believe that. And I don't think it's a fake profile. (He has over five hundred connections. All the fake ones only have one or two connections.) 'Boss, there's no mystery, man. So just chill. Obviously, our Gideon hasn't updated his profile yet.' Oh, well, you're wrong there, Voice. Because he was supposed to be moving from Silver Creek Capital to Edmond de Rothschild. 'He mentions Silver Creek on his profile.' Yeah, maybe he does. But where does Fermain Technologies come into it? 'I don't know, Mikey.' No, you don't. No one knows, son. It's a mystery.

Of course, the funny thing is, none of this actually matters, you know. (It's Monday morning! Come on!) I mean, a man moves from one firm to another firm. BUT(!) ... do we really need to know the names of the firms? 'Do we really need to know the name of the man?' Probably not, Voice. / This blog is full of names. Men, women, and firms! Going back eight years. What good has it done me, dear reader(s)? What good has it done YOU(!)?

Well, well ... / Oh, by the way, Edmond de Rothschild believes in concordia, integritas, and industria. Great stuff! 'Eh?! What the fuck is that shit, Mikey?!' Christ! Harmony, integrity, and industry, man. 'Oh.' So, it's not shit. It's values. Edmond de Rothschild has values!

Er, uh ... one more thing: Our Gideon studied at Stellenbosch - if that makes any sense. 'Ha!' / I don't know. Some of these guys are pretty eccentric. Live and let live, eh?

...

Music? 'Music!' I'm listening to B.B. King, Live at The Regal. A great live album from 1964, recommended by Eric Clapton (amongst others). Highlights are: Sweet Little Angel and How Blue Can You Get? / "I gave you seven children, and now you want to give them back ..."

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Morgan Stanley has been fined $2 million

For what?! For what?! / Calm down, reader(s), it's not the end of the world. Morgan Stanley forgot to report its short-selling positions. Or did it incorrectly, over six years. I don't know. Big deal! It doesn't matter. $2 million ain't nothing, anyway. Chump change.

That's the beautiful thing about being rich. You don't care if people fine you. Or steal from you. Or drink all your champagne. There's enough for everyone!

The songwriter Lionel Bart used to throw parties at his mansion in Chelsea, and guests could take a fistful of twenty and fifty pound notes that were kept in a large urn near the front door. Lionel didn't care. He was making more money than The Beatles in the Sixties.

Er ... then he lost it all. Ended up living above a chip shop in Acton. / He also had a castle in Morocco, you know. 'While he was living in Acton?!' No, in the Sixties, you moron!

That won't happen to me. I'm going to be a tight bastard. I'm sorry, but I've had a hard life. If I ever make it to Malibu, I'll be looking after number one.

[No. 316] Good luck, John Malloy and James Johnstone!

Leaders of the new RWC emerging markets team. 'Ha!' I pray that they don't suffer too much.

And Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[1], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[2], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[2], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[1], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[2], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![1], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[2], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![1], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![2], and I hope he is[1], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[1], and I hope he is[2], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[2], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[1], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[2], and little lambs! / It is so sad![1], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[2], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[1], and little lambs! / It is so sad![2], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[1], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[2], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[1], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[2], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[2], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[3], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[3], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[3], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![3], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![3], and I hope he is[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[3], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[3], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[3], and little lambs! / It is so sad![3], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[3], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[3], and

And Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[1], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[2], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[2], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[1], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[2], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![1], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[2], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![1], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![2], and I hope he is[1], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[1], and I hope he is[2], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[2], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[1], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[2], and little lambs! / It is so sad![1], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[2], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[1], and little lambs! / It is so sad![2], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[1], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[2], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[1], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[2], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[2], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[3], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[3], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[3], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![3], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![3], and I hope he is[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[3], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[3], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[3], and little lambs! / It is so sad![3], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[3], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[3], and

And Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[1], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[2], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[1], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[2], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[1], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[2], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![1], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[2], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![1], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![2], and I hope he is[1], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[1], and I hope he is[2], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[2], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[1], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[2], and little lambs! / It is so sad![1], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[2], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[1], and little lambs! / It is so sad![2], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[1], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[2], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[1], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[2], and Johnny, Jimmy ... do you really trust Dan Mannix?[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[2], and YOU(!) have to understand ... Dan's first loyalty is to the monster, and the monster has to be fed[3], and no one should take statements to the media too seriously[3], and the team won't last, my wild spinner(s) ... and these "teams" are ten a penny, sadly[3], and what's the alternative? Let Mike Corcell wander around North Carolina, helping himself? Oh, no, no, NO![3], and RIGHT here NOW ... Mike might be a-ROUND with us ... watch out!!![3], and I hope he is[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with us?! / and are we that lucky/unlucky?[3], and I'll be all right / Mike won't hurt me / We have an understanding[3], and the best I can do for YOU(!) is, er, uh, get YOU(!) all DIZZY, I suppose / Oh, I hope it's over soon ...[3], and little lambs! / It is so sad![3], and did YOU(!) ... get into finance to end up at the mercy of a madman?[3], and I don't care what your salary is, your pathetic bonus ...[3], and Mike and I are kindred spirits / he knows I'm as bad as he is ... in different ways[3], and