Thursday, 18 December 2014

What's going on with Russia, man?!

Is Russia going to collapse into chaos? Is there going to be another worldwide financial crisis because of this rouble nonsense? Will there be a war? 'It'll be something to write about. It's an ill wind ...' This is all caused by politicians and their slaves in the media. No one in the elite is thinking of the average man and woman in the street. It will all end in tears, you mark my words.

And Putin? The problem with Putin is that he's not scared of America like everyone else is. David Cameron? Putin hardly notices Cameron. 'I doubt Putin even knows who Cameron is, boss.' Oh, are you still here, Voice? 'Yeah. / Is this RT? Where's Max?' Shut up, you idiot! I thought you were spending Christmas on the astral plane with your folks. 'Yeah, I am. I'm leaving tomorrow.' Okay. Well, give them my love, won't you? 'All right.' Are they still dead? 'Of course they are!' Well, that's the astral plane for you, I suppose.

Well, well ... er. / By the way, reader(s), I've only banned the astral plane for business/financial matters. 'Are you sure?' That's something I've never really been too clear about. You can still visit friends and relatives - if you have any there. 'As if!' They might, Voice. It's not all bankers and hedgies, you know. I get a lot of kooks. I mean, I get a lot of bankers and hedgies who are kooks, so ...

Stay away from the desert though, the astral desert. 'And the physical desert, Mikey.' That goes without saying, Voice.

...

Christmas! War is over - if you want it. Happy Christmas, Yoko. Happy Christmas, John.

I'm going to be taking a week off now, dear reader(s). I'll be back, er ... whenever. Watch this space. Or that space, over there. Or eat a mince pie. I don't care. It's your life. Just have a nice Christmas, yeah? Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Later(s), crocodile(s).


Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Man Group buys Silvermine Capital now!

Even more AUM! These guys have gone AUM crazy! Just under $4 billion! I suppose it's easier than attracting new investors. I wonder how the investors feel, being bought like this. I bet it's that computer, buying everything in sight. The computer is out of control! It's 2001: A Space Odyssey all over again.

I'm hoping that the GLG shamans will step in and put a stop to it.

...

Anything else? Well ... / Er, not tonight, mate. It's been a long day. I'll write another post tomorrow, the last post before Christmas. What will I write about? Who knows?! That's the beauty of this blog.

Oh, I had a little go on my guitar earlier. I was on fire! / I've noticed I play better when I'm in a positive mood. When I'm depressed, my fingers go dead and get tangled up in the strings. But when I'm buzzing, my fingers start dancing over the strings like, er ... ballet dancers, man! Strange, eh?

I'm tired. I need some doughnuts and a mug of tea. Laters.

[No. 278] Baby, please come home

It's Christmas!

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

Mark Connolly has joined Aviva Investors just in time for the Christmas party

Well, well ... / He's a bit late, actually. 'Boss, most firms have had their Christmas party.' Ah, things are a bit different at Aviva Investors, Voice. The Christmas party starts on the first of December and finishes around mid-January. 'Jesus!' Yeah. So, Mark Connolly is a bit late, but he'll still be able to get involved and have some fun. 'Four more weeks!' He won't have missed much, man. The Aviva Investors mob are just getting warmed up, I should imagine.

Life of Riley ... / Dear reader(s), you're probably wondering what job Mark is doing at Aviva Investors. ('Ha! You're having a laugh!') Really, you should know by now that no one does any "job" there. However, as you're interested - or seem to be interested - I can tell you Mark's title. He's the fixed income chief investment officer. 'I've heard he's replaced the office cat, who died.' That's just a rumour, Voice. 'What does Euan Munro say?' Er, let me have a look. Yeah, here it is: I am very pleased that Mark will be joining my executive team. He brings an invaluable combination of fixed income investment expertise and a successful track record of building cross-market teams which will be vital as we look to grow our fixed income capabilities. 'Brilliant! Their clients believe this stuff, man!' I know. It's hilarious, Voice. / Christ. It's those poor Schroders bastards I feel sorry for.

By the way, Mr Connolly used to work at Scottish Weirdos. And I mean WORK.

...

Anything else? Er, I can tell you, dear reader(s), I am in the mood for the Phil Spector Christmas album this morning. I've just finished listening to it, and now I've got the song Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) on repeat. Superb!

Music? My Music?! Well, I'll probably have a go (or two) at recording my songs over Christmas. I'm not going to overdo it though and neglect the mince pies and beer and TV and that. / My guitar? I've decided to stop using D'Addario strings on my acoustic and go back to Martin. / Electric? I was playing my Telecaster last night, rockin' in the free world. I wish I could play all the time, man.

Lunch? Cheese sandwich, crisps, Coke, and ... 'A yoghurt?' No. I'm shaking things up, son. A small blackcurrant cheesecake!

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

[No. 277] Fabien Baetz is other

Totally other.

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

Laurent Constanty and Fabien Baetz?

Yeah, yeah ... / Yeah, this is interesting. Very interesting. These two ex-UBS guys, they're starting a new hedge fund. 'This week?!' Not yet! Not yet! After Christmas, right? Let's get Christmas out of the way first. 'Oh, all right.' Jesus. Yeah, er ... Laurent and Fabien are calling it the Reaching Value and Opportunities fund. 'Nice.' They're starting off small with $20 million, but most of that is their own money. 'Not other people's money? Is that smart, boss?' How many times have I got to tell you, Voice? Be patient. They'll be getting their hands on other people's money sooner or later. They're actually hoping for $100 million, you know. 'Ha! If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.' Where's your Christmas spirit, man? 'I could be the Ghost of Christmas Past for all you know, Mikey. Or the Ghost of - ' Ghosts?! I shit 'em! Don't talk to me about ghosts, Voice. I've had more than my fair share. 'All right. Let's get back to the very interesting hedge fund.' Well, it's Fabien Baetz who is interesting. 'Oh.' Yeah. I mean, I don't care too much about Laurent. I've looked at his LinkedIn profile, and it's packed full of information and that, but ... 'There's nothing exciting about him, I suppose.' No. He's just the ordinary finance type. 'Shame.' However, Fabien is fascinating. 'Why?' His LinkedIn profile just says ... Other. 'Other?! Is that it?' Yeah. You know what that means, don't you? 'He's a bit ...' No! He's not a bit, Voice! Not that's there anything wrong with being a bit ... This is the twenty-first century, for Christ's sake! 'Yeah.' No, he's ... other, yeah? 'Oh, I get you!' Yeah. He's out there, man! Gone, in the cosmos. 'Gone, in his mind, too, Mikey.' Probably, Voice. Our Fabien is other-worldly!

...

So, after lunch I'm going to get straight to work on a conceptual, No. 277. 'You're going to take Fabien for a spin?' Fuckin' A, I am! Let's have some fun!

...

Music? Well, I haven't got anything on yet. I'm not in the mood for the Phil Spector Christmas album. Er ... maybe some Chopin. 'Yeah!' The real Chopin, you dig? 'Oh.' Not that Donna Summer muck. I don't want disco this early in the day.

Lunch? 'Lunch?' Lunch.

Monday, 15 December 2014

Clearfield Capital Management?

Oh! Oh! Oh! ... 'Eh?' / Exciting news, guys! Someone is launching a new hedge fund. (Clearfield Capital Management, it's called.) And that someone is ... wait for it ... drum roll ... wait for it ... Philip Hilal! 'Never heard of him, boss.' Don't be like that, Voice! I've never heard of Mr Hilal either. But it's Christmas, and I've got some financial news, and we should just be excited that people are still launching hedge funds, man. 'Fair enough.'

Our Phil used to work at Kingdon Capital Management. And for eight years! 'A true veteran!' Yeah. / The fund won't launch for a while yet. 'Oh no. Pie in the sky, eh?' Give him a chance, for Christ's sake! It takes time to get this sort of thing off the ground. / I can tell you, reader(s), that Phil has raised $200 million. (He's over in New York, by the way.) And Mark Kingdon has given him a bit of money. A few dollars. 'Who on earth is Mark Kingdon?!' The clue is in the name, Voice. 'Is it?' He's the founder of Kingdon Capital. 'He named it after himself?!' Yeah. Of course he did. 'The ego of these people!' Shut up, you idiot! It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

One extra detail (for those of you who get off on extra details): Phil's fund will employ a concentrated special-situations strategy. 'What's that, then?' Oh, I don't know. The readers will know. 'Your readers know so much shit, man.' They're experts, son.

...

Anything else? Well ... not really. It's only Monday. / God. I'm looking forward to having next week off. I need a rest. Er ...

One more thing: I bought a Jeff Beck DVD the other day. Filmed live at Ronnie Scott's. I'm thinking now that he may be the greatest living guitarist, rather than Eric Clapton (who appears in the DVD). Jeff has an advantage though, in the sense that he's a specialist. He doesn't do much but play guitar. Whereas Clapton plays guitar, sings, writes classic songs, and records albums that sell millions. (I've read that Cream sold thirty million albums in only two years.) / I have no desire to be as good as Jeff. It would take up too much of my life. However, being like Clapton would be amazing. 'You're dreaming, Mikey!' Give me five years, Voice. I'm the man with the plan.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Kenneth Hillen? Oh, it doesn't matter who he is

Well, well ... well. / I hope you understand now, dear reader(s). It's not rocket science, is it, eh? It doesn't matter who anyone is! It really doesn't. ('A massive breakthrough, boss!' Yeah.) / ... / However, for old times' sake, I can tell you a couple of things about our Kenny. He's just joined Montreux Capital Management. And, er ... he's going to be giving them some advice on corporate structure and ... other stuff, like, er, credit and that. 'Nice.' I don't know. / Where Kenny comes from though isn't too clear. 'Where do any of us come from?' I mean, where he used to work, Voice. ('Oh. I thought you were being philosophical.' No. I wasn't.) It's either Scotland at Bank of Ireland or ... Ireland at Bank of Scotland. 'Eh?' If that makes any sense. 'Well ...' Personally, I don't think it makes any sense at all. 'No.' But I won't be losing any sleep over it. This is the last post of the week, man. And I'm tired. So very tired. Roll on Christmas!

...

Not much else.

Is it just me, or are there more freaks about these days? Every time I look out of my window ... Like earlier. Some guy was hanging around the front garden and alleyway. I've seen him before, by another house further down the street. What motivates these people?

Well, well ... yeah. I'll see you next week, reader(s). Laters.

[No. 276] Could it be magic?

I'm pretty sure it is, man.

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

Anthony Chiasson and Todd Newman are innocent!

Over in America ... / They were found guilty, you see, dear reader(s), of insider trading, a couple of years ago. They nearly went to prison! Well, they were out on bail. But now Tony and Todd are out for good! 'Why, Mikey?' I don't know, man. It's the legal system over there. 'Where?' America, Voice. Traders need to know that their insider tip comes from someone who knows it's a secret and who's getting paid for leaking it. 'Who's getting paid for it?' Precisely! 'Oh. / What did Tony and Todd know?' They didn't know anything! And that's the best way to be. 'Is it?!' Yeah, of course it is. I mean, when someone - a reader, maybe - sends me an email: Mikey, how big is the moon? I might reply Big enough or I don't know ... yeah? 'No, not really. That doesn't make any sense.' It doesn't need to make sense, son. It's always best to know nothing and be a little confused, you dig? 'Okay. Is that the secret of your success, then?' It certainly is. It's the people in this world who know things, the clear-headed ones, who are the losers. Knowing stuff makes you vulnerable, you get me? You can be attacked at any moment by the "dark forces" that want to bring you down. 'Terrifying, man!' There's great weakness in knowing, in certainty.

...

Music? I was listening to the Phil Spector Christmas album. I don't know what else to put on now. 'Chopin?' Yeah, all right. It will make a nice change.

Guitar? My rhythm playing has been getting better, man. Paying more attention to my fretting hand has paid off. I might not go to the pub tomorrow. I might stay in and try recording again. I've still got a cold though.

I miss the piano when I listen to Chopin. Years ago, I could play that funeral march. 'Which funeral march, Love To Love You Baby?' No. Could It Be Magic.

Lunch? Oh ... cheese sandwich, prawn cocktail crisps, strawberry yoghurt, and a can of Coke.

After lunch? Use your imagination!