Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Bankers have to swear like an oaf after wearing sandals

Or something like that ... this. I don't know what they're talking about. 'Mikey, did you even read the article?' No, Voice. Well, I glanced at it. The internet is full of such financial articles/posts, man. I can't read them all.

No one gets to the truth like me. That's the problem. / If you work in finance, dear reader(s), you only need to read Money is the way. I tell it like it is, you dig? I don't sugar-coat anything.

THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING!!!

Back in the days when finance was exciting, when everyone was getting arrested or making billions or going out of business, this blog was full of blood and fire. Spirits in the desert! Mystic madness! It was beautiful. Now? Well, I seem to be writing about my music a lot, or what I'm having for lunch. (Egg sandwich today. But not a luxury one. I've got to be careful with my money if I'm going to get that Telecaster.) Oh, man ... I WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN!!!

...

I'm listening to Japan, for my sins. Exorcising Ghosts. They were all right, I suppose.

No, I can't take any more of this. What else have I got on my media player? Darklands. The Jesus and Mary Chain. Yeah!

Soon, I'll be able to play the guitar as well as William Reid, I reckon. End of the year ... maybe. / That Telecaster will help. You can strum a couple of chords on an electric or play a few simple notes and the amplifier (with a bit of distortion) will make you sound like a guitar god. It's not rocket science ...

Jesus have cool melodies, man. They should have been bigger, like Oasis. They didn't have no anthems though, like Wonderwall. Never mind.

...

I got a good feeling there's gonna be some exciting news tomorrow. 'Yeah, boss?' Well ... / Lloyds just doesn't do nothing for me ...

Monday, 28 July 2014

Luqman Arnold has got a really cool website, man!

Do you remember Luqman Arnold at all? I do. I even wrote about him a few times. Do you remember this, dear reader(s)? -

"I want to know where my fucking shares are. Sure, I'm all broken up about Lehman Brothers, but if those motherfuckers have lost my money I'll swing for them."

That was Luqman Arnold speaking to me back, oh, way back, in 2008. Such a long time ago, eh? He was having some trouble with his Olivant. 'Elephant?!' No, Voice, Olivant. Ivory, yeah. I don't know. Roland had a horn. 'Eh?' Fuck it! It was an investment company of his. But he's packing it in, anyway. He has a new firm now, Cartesius Advisory Network. 'Oh.' Yeah. Luqman has set it up with a Legionnaire. 'Really? Did they meet in the local British Legion then? Were they playing darts?' Don't be an idiot, Voice. French. 'Oh, okay.'

Yeah, here you are, some blood pudding, some blood pudding, some blood pudding, er, for the Alsatians, Swiss, and Lorrainers. For the Belgians, there's none left. They're lazy shirkers. Oh, we're always at ease, we're rough and tough, no ordinary guys. We've often got our black moods, for we are Legionnaires. Our ancestors died for the Legion's glory. We will soon all perish according to tradition. By our sorrows we forget Death, who so little forgets us, for we are the Legion!

'What's that?!' Don't worry about it, man. / Let's focus on Luqman. 'His new firm?' His website! Screw the firm! You won't believe how many interests this guy has. Architecture, art and design, authors and books, cars and planes, inspiring quotes, and, er, movies and TV shows, and music, sports, technology - 'Basically, everything that exists in the world, boss.' Yeah. And it's all on his website.  And see if you can dig this. Luqman has values and beliefs -

"I have learnt that loyalty should be to one's own values and beliefs. One naturally feels loyalty to individuals with whom one works. However, when working in a company, one owes a duty and loyalty to the company. I have observed that for some leaders, their position defines their sense of self-worth and they genuinely believe that they are the institution and that loyalty is therefore due to them - a loyalty that is often confused with an expectation of obedience. Tossers! I have never expected nor offered this type of loyalty to an individual in his or her individual corporate position. Nor have I expected rewards or promotion beyond my own ability and contribution. I am just a man. Naked on this earth. Judge me if you dare."

'Wow! Is that a quote from the website?' No, he phoned me late last night. He said to me, "Mikey, have you seen my really cool website, man? I want you to write about it on your blog." Then he started to go off on one about his values and beliefs. Crazy guy! 'Was he naked at the time?' I don't know, Voice. It was late ...

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Scott Braunstein is joining Point72 Asset Management as a money manager

Well, rather him that me. I couldn't work for Stevie. I mean, I can imagine what he's like. Shouting at people. Or staring at them coldly from his office. Who needs it?

And Stevie is probably paranoid now, suspecting everyone. No, it can't be much of a life, working at Point72. Or EverPoint Asset Management. (The firm has loads of names. Why?)

Why doesn't Scott stay at JPMorgan? Is Stevie offering more money? Money, money, money ... / How much is enough?

This Scott Braunstein character should take a look at my life. 'Jesus!' Yeah. All I want is a Fender Telecaster. And not even one of the best ones, but merely a Squier one. 'Boss, this Scott Braunstein geezer doesn't know he's born.' Tell me about it, Voice.

It'll all be different one day. When I'm living in Malibu, just like Jackie Treehorn, Scott will say to himself: Why don't I have a big house in Malibu? Mikey isn't a better man than me!

And you know what, dear reader(s)? I won't care! Life isn't fair. / And no one is forcing Scott to work in finance. He could get a Telecaster. He could write songs. Who's stopping him?! No one. Scott is the master of his own destiny.

...

Thank God the weekend is nearly here. / Yeah! Pub tomorrow. Down by the river. In the sunshine. A couple of pints of Kronenbourg. Oh, the fish will be jumpin'. The livin' will be easy. And the cotton will be high. 'Eh?' Never mind, man. Go back to sleep, Voice. / Hush, little baby ...

[No. 236] Love will keep them together

For Andrzej and Justin.

And / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[1], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![2], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[2], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[1], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![2], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![1], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[2], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![1], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![2], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[1], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![2], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[1], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[2], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[1], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[2], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[1], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[2], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![1], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[2], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![1], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![2], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![2], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[3], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![3], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[3], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![3], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![3], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[3], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[3], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[3], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[3], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![3], and

And / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[1], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![2], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[2], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[1], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![2], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![1], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[2], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![1], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![2], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[1], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![2], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[1], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[2], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[1], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[2], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[1], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[2], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![1], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[2], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![1], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![2], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![2], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[3], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![3], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[3], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![3], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![3], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[3], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[3], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[3], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[3], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![3], and

And / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[1], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![2], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![1], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[2], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[1], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![2], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![1], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[2], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![1], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![2], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[1], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![2], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[1], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[2], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[1], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[2], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[1], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[2], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![1], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[2], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![1], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![2], and / singing a song? Don't mess a-ROUND!!![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![2], and think of me ... (?!) ... er, babe, when some sweet talkin' girl/guy comes along[3], and love certainly hasn't torn them apart ... because it's real joy they got, man![3], and / Who? What? Wake up! / this is for Andrzej and Justin, this is[3], and love will keep them together / and keep me out of it, please![3], and / oh, your looks will be gone ... so, so ... who'll be turning you on? / Not me![3], and it takes a real passion (and a real obsession) to leave the easy life at Aviva Investors behind[3], and some people need more than lazy days in the park with ice cream in their mouths[3], and just ... stop, stop / 'Can't stop!'[3], and I got POSITIVE VIBRATIONS about the whole thing ...[3], and Andrzej and Justin? I got a feeling they'll be a-ROUND here forever - Hello![3], and / Come on! / Say - Hello![3], and

Andrzej Pioch and Justin Onuekwusi are together again!

Are they in love? I don't know, man. I don't know what's going on with these two. All I can tell you, dear reader(s), is that they were working at Aviva Investors together, right? 'Right.' Then Justin Onuekwusi left - for reasons best known to himself. ('Didn't like the ice cream?' I don't know.) Then Andrzej Pioch got lonely, I suppose. 'Ah!' He missed his friend. 'But all's well that ends well, boss.' Almost, Voice, almost. I've been looking at Andrzej's LinkedIn profile. He hasn't updated it, you know. 'Christ!' It says he's still working at Aviva Investors as one of those cockamamie multi-asset fund managers. 'Ha!' It should say he's working at Legal & General Investment Management with his soulmate Justin Onuekwusi. 'Mad. / He's just excited, Mikey, seeing Justin again. Give him a few more days. Maybe a week. If he still hasn't updated it, pop round to see him at the LGIM office with the razor.' Yeah, I'll do that. 'By the way, has Justin still got a bugbear?' No. I sorted it, remember ... with No. 206, back in March. 'Oh, of course. How silly of me to forget!' How could you forget something like that, man?!

...

Lunch? Christ. Cheese sandwich, if you really need to know, dear reader(s). And prawn cocktail crisps, yoghurt (haven't decided on the flavour yet), and a can of Coke. Are you happy now? What are you having?

...

Guitar? That alternate picking is like second nature now. It's amazing what you can do if you put your mind to it. / I've learnt a few more notes on the fretboard. I'm getting to grips with the scales. Pretty soon, I'll be a pretty good lead guitarist, man. / I have to practice over chords though. I haven't done that yet. I'll have to make some backing tracks. / Don't worry about it, son. Everything is working out ...

Oh, I'm listening to The Band.

He was just eighteen, proud and brave, but a Yankee laid him in his grave ...

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

The FCA has fined Ian Hannam £450,000 (again) for market abuse

Well, never mind. I'm sure Ian can afford to pay. Maybe now he will see that he's been wasting his time with finance all these years.

Tracey says: "This has been a long and complex case but the Tribunal's substantial judgment is a landmark. It should leave market participants in no doubt that casual and uncontrolled distribution of inside information is not acceptable in today's markets. Controlling the flow of inside information is a key way of preventing market abuse and we would urge all market participants to pay close attention to the judgment." Here, have a look for yourself, dear reader(s).

Oh, I don't know. You've got to control inside information now. Where will it all end?

You'll have to control your thoughts, and your desires. / As an example, imagine you work at Aviva Investors, yeah? ... I want an ice cream. No, you can't have an ice cream. But it's sunny outside. I want to go to the park. No, you can't go to the park. Have a look at these spreadsheets. Fuck the spreadsheets, man! Are you insane?!

Absolutely horrible! However, that's the future. Total control! No eccentricity, no original thoughts, maybe even no emotions. 'Where are you getting all this from, boss? The FCA isn't stopping anyone having an ice cream.' But they will, Voice, they will.

Finance is becoming unbearable. Everyone has got to get out. Everyone has got to be free.

...

I did a conceptual yesterday, No. 235. That fooled you, didn't it, reader(s)? You weren't expecting one on a Tuesday. I'm full of surprises, me.

Today though I might go out after lunch. Park, ice cream, who knows? The pub? The FCA won't like it, of course. Tracey will probably call my mobile ... Mikey, you've got to do No. 236. Get back inside, boy!

No! I'm a free man! I'll do what I want. 'You live in a dream world, boss.' Shut it, you moron!

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

[No. 235] Will Leigh Himsworth ever be free?

Or more than THREE?

And will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[1], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[2], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[2], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[1], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[2], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[1], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[2], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![1], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[2], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[1], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![2], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![1], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[2], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[1], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![2], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[1], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[2], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[1], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[2], and I know YOU(!) know[1], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[1], and I know YOU(!) know[2], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[2], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[1], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![2], and we're a little unusual - so what?![1], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[2], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![1], and we're a little unusual - so what?![2], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[1], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![2], and / Don't be afraid![1], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[2], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[3], and / Don't be afraid![2], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[3], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[3], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[3], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[3], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![3], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[3], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![3], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[3], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[3], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[3], and I know YOU(!) know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[3], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![3], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[3], and we're a little unusual - so what?![3], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![3], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[3], and / Don't be afraid![3], and

And will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[1], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[2], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[2], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[1], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[2], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[1], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[2], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![1], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[2], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[1], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![2], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![1], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[2], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[1], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![2], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[1], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[2], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[1], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[2], and I know YOU(!) know[1], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[1], and I know YOU(!) know[2], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[2], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[1], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![2], and we're a little unusual - so what?![1], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[2], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![1], and we're a little unusual - so what?![2], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[1], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![2], and / Don't be afraid![1], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[2], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[3], and / Don't be afraid![2], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[3], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[3], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[3], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[3], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![3], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[3], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![3], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[3], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[3], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[3], and I know YOU(!) know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[3], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![3], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[3], and we're a little unusual - so what?![3], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![3], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[3], and / Don't be afraid![3], and

And will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[1], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[2], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[1], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[2], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[1], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[2], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[1], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[2], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![1], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[2], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[1], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![2], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![1], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[2], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[1], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![2], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[1], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[2], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[1], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[2], and I know YOU(!) know[1], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[1], and I know YOU(!) know[2], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[2], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[1], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![2], and we're a little unusual - so what?![1], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[2], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![1], and we're a little unusual - so what?![2], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[1], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![2], and / Don't be afraid![1], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[2], and will Leigh ever come a-ROUND?[3], and / Don't be afraid![2], and ... / Oh! / maybe, maybe not ...[3], and a man like our Leigh needs to get DIZZY[3], and sometimes ... a friendly face just isn't enough[3], and ... / City Financial, and Eden Financial, and Gartmare, and Royal London Asset Management ...[3], and there's more! / YOU(!) better believe![3], and ... / Rensburg Sheppards, and Nestle Pension Fund, and BWD Rensburg, and Otley Motors, and Price Waterhouse ...[3], and NOW(!) ... Fidelity?![3], and does the pain goes on forever? / Oh yes, the pain goes on forever[3], and if Leigh were here ... I'm sure we'd be able to ease his pain[3], and we're looking for a miracle ... some of these firms are genuinely evil, you know[3], and I know YOU(!) know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... can do wonders for the squares of this world[3], and Leigh! ... COME here ... man![3], and we've got the LOVE you want ... and we're heading for the THREE ... and we may well go past it[3], and we're a little unusual - so what?![3], and I reckon your 489 connections are holding you back, son / They don't love you![3], and come with us, Leigh ... you'll never want to get back in touch again[3], and / Don't be afraid![3], and

City Financial has sold Leigh Himsworth to Fidelity

Yeah, City Financial doesn't want Leigh Himsworth no more. They thought he was going to be a god or something. Maybe a master of reality. (I think Eden gave them the wrong idea.) But he's just a normal human being, like so many other people working in finance these days. Never mind. So, Fidelity owns him now. Not that you would know from reading Leigh's LinkedIn profile. The crazy cat hasn't updated it!

Well, well ... / No one knows what kind of fund Leigh will be managing at Fidelity. It's a bit of a mystery. I've phoned around. No one is saying anything, much. Out of fear? I don't know. / I actually like Leigh. He's a good guy. He has a nice friendly face - which is rare in finance these days, even with the normals. If he's in trouble, I hope he can get to a phone. I've told my intern I'll drop everything when the call comes. ('Eh?' Shut it!) I've got my razor ready ...

...

That's it. Nothing else is happening at the moment, I'm afraid. / The scene is dead. It's summertime, you see. The livin' is easy. Fish are jumpin'. Don't blame me. Hush!

...

I can't record in this heat ... / I should have finished my demo before summer. Alas, my guitar skills weren't up to scratch. Not sure they are now. However, I'm getting better, man. But it takes months. It's no use doing seven or eight hours practice in a day and expecting results. You have to do steady practice, two, three, four hours a day, every day.

John Coltrane use to play his sax all the time. (I can't do that. Other commitments.) Once, his wife was in the kitchen and suddenly the saxophone stopped. Shocked, she went into the living room to find out what the matter was. Coltrane had fallen asleep with the sax still in his mouth. / I hope that's a true story because I dig it, you dig?

Monday, 21 July 2014

I don't have any hope for this country

Or any country in the Western world. Or any country in the world, in fact ... / Last night I watched that tough guy from EastEnders with the street gangs of Belize. And now I've just read this. The shit Paul Mason has written about will never be sorted out. There is no way that millions of permanent, secure, well-paid new jobs are going to be created. (He's talking about the young, but it applies to everybody.) Our only hope - or my only hope, at any rate - is the old Bill Hicks' joke about being abducted by aliens. Aliens, abduct me!

Yeah ... / I've always envied Richard Dreyfuss at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. You can just tell those friendly little aliens are going to look after him. No work, no bills, no taxes, no insurance - no hassles! Just flying around the universe in a big fuck-off spaceship. Who wouldn't want that?

...

And that's what Malibu is to me, you know? A big fuck-off spaceship with a beach attached. My chances of ending up there are probably about the same as my chances of a real spaceship picking me up. But you've got to have a dream, ain't ya? Not everyone can be saved. / A few people can be saved though. Maybe you need luck, I don't know. I think you probably need to be a fanatic, like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I've just read his autobiography. The way he arrived in America, not even being able to speak English, and went from champion bodybuilder to film star to Governor of California is just amazing. He really had the mentality of a terminator. You have to forget fear, almost forget you're human. You have to focus on your goal, a big goal, and go after it, never stopping for anything. Or wait for some friendly aliens to take an interest in you. Those are the two choices. But there is absolutely no future in a normal life. A life where you go to work, pay the bills (if you can), vote for scumbags, walk the dog, eat your dinner, watch TV, and wait for death ...

Oh, Spaceship.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

I missed the Delivering Alpha conference!

Damn! / It was in New York though. A bit difficult for me to get to. It sounds like everyone had a really wild time. Carl Icahn and William Ackman were hugging and kissing. 'What?!' Yeah. They had a bust-up some time ago. Now they're friends again. 'Friends, boss?' Yeah, friends, Voice. It's all above board.

Apparently, all kinds of finance superstars were at this conference. Except me, of course. Do they have it every year? It's run by CNBC. Maybe I'll go next year - if they pay my airfare. 'Are they likely to do that, Mikey?' Well, I am the world's foremost financial shaman. 'Yeah. Why didn't they fly you over this time?' I don't know, man. What's with all the questions?

The fact is, they know I'm busy with my music right now. I doubt they wanted to bother me. 'Yeah, that's it, boss. They know how much trouble you're having recording those songs of yours. They know you can't play the guitar, so -' Will you shut up?! I can play the guitar, for your information, Voice. I'm just perfecting my technique ...

Anyway, I reckon I will get a Telecaster. My finances are a bit dodgy at the moment, but I should be able to manage it. I'll get the cheapest Squier one. But it looks nice. Cream and white. / Twenty-five years ago, I had a Fender Squier Stratocaster. That was white as well. I wish I had bothered to learn lead guitar in those days. Regrets? I have a few ... However, I'm not Sinatra.