Wednesday, 18 July 2018

Six million football pitches

Okay, Okay. It's a PR email. 'About football pitches, boss?!' Yes, Voice, six million of them. The maps are missing. We don't know where they are. 'We don't know where the, uh ... maps are?' Don't be such a bloody idiot, man! We don't know where the football pitches are. 'Oh. Where should they be?' In the jungle, somewhere. 'The jungle?! This isn't making any sense, boss.' Shut up! 'Maybe you should copy and paste a bit of the email, so that everyone knows what you're going on about.' Okay, okay. Here -

Efforts to monitor and manage the impacts of the tropical forestry sector are being hindered, due to many companies failing to accurately disclose where they operate - leaving biodiverse forests at risk of unsustainable exploitation. This is just one finding of an in-depth evaluation of forestry companies, published today on 18 July 2018 by ZSL (Zoological Society of London).

Uh. Obviously, this has got nothing to do with finance, dear reader(s), but I sometimes receive random emails like this and ... NO ONE has sent me any hedge fund emails, so you can't blame me. I've got to work with the material I'm given. You dig? / Anyway ...

In assessing 50 of the world's most significant tropical timber and pulp producers, ZSL's SPOTT (Sustainability Policy Transparency Toolkit) found that most are failing to publish accurate maps of their operations. With 2017 the second worst year on record for tropical tree cover loss, the forestry sector must now move to publish maps that support independent monitoring of corporate commitments targeted at addressing risks to forests.

Okay, okay. 'What about the football pitches?' Ha! You want football pitches, baby, you got them!

ZSL's SPOTT assessments cover timber and pulp producers with combined land holdings of over 350,000 square kilometres, an area the size of Germany. In the latest annual assessments, only eight companies were found to publish clear and comprehensive maps of their forestry operations, while 27 companies disclosed incomplete information. A further 15 companies do not provide any suitable maps of their operations, meaning the location of over 45,000 square kilometres - or over six million football pitches - of forestry operations remains unclear.

You see? Football pitches. Six million of them. Very clever too, considering that the World Cup has just finished.

To increase accountability, the tropical forestry sector should freely publish digitized maps that allow the exact locations and boundaries of their operations to be identified. Certification schemes such as the FSC (Forest Stewardship Council) and PEFC (Programme for Endorsement of Forestry Certification) should also take steps to encourage the publication of certified companies' mapped boundaries.

Er ... / Hang on, everyone! We've got a finance quote. Look! 'Oh, thank God!' Yes! This is awesome!

Robert-Alexandre Poujade, ESG Analyst at BNP Paribas Asset Management, said: "Responsible investors and banking institutions are increasingly aware of the impact that unsustainable commodity production can have on forests globally. Tools relying on satellite imagery are already proving crucial in tracking deforestation, but the loop can only be closed when companies publicly disclose the exact location of their operations."

Nice one, Bobby-Alex! You've probably saved my skin today. I mean, I don't want the readers getting angry.

Right. Obviously, the solution to this problem is for Elon Musk to get into his flying Iron Man suit thing and, uh ... well, fly over the forests to get a proper idea of what's going on. 'Ha! I don't think that's wise, boss.' Ha! Maybe not. Never mind. It's just a suggestion, man.

ENDS

Laters!

Tuesday, 17 July 2018

[No. 628] If you go away ...

You've got to come back.

And, uh ...[1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![1], and, uh ...[2], and ... Christ![1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![2], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[1], and ... Christ![2], and it's a tragedy, man![1], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[2], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[1], and it's a tragedy, man![2], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[1], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[2], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[1], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[2], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[1], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[2], and ... silly me![1], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[2], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[1], and ... silly me![2], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[1], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[2], and if in doubt - spin![1], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[1], and if in doubt - spin![2], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[2], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[1], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![2], and it could be comforting[1], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[2], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[1], and it could be comforting[2], and the glass is half full, I reckon[1], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[2], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[1], and the glass is half full, I reckon[2], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[1], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[2], and don't get upset, please![1], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[2], and, so, yes ... we're going back![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![1], and, so, yes ... we're going back![2], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![1], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![2], and, uh ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![2], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![3], and ... Christ![3], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[3], and it's a tragedy, man![3], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[3], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[3], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[3], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[3], and ... silly me![3], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[3], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[3], and if in doubt - spin![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[3], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![3], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[3], and it could be comforting[3], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[3], and the glass is half full, I reckon[3], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[3], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[3], and don't get upset, please![3], and, so, yes ... we're going back![3], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![3], and

And, uh ...[1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![1], and, uh ...[2], and ... Christ![1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![2], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[1], and ... Christ![2], and it's a tragedy, man![1], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[2], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[1], and it's a tragedy, man![2], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[1], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[2], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[1], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[2], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[1], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[2], and ... silly me![1], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[2], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[1], and ... silly me![2], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[1], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[2], and if in doubt - spin![1], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[1], and if in doubt - spin![2], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[2], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[1], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![2], and it could be comforting[1], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[2], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[1], and it could be comforting[2], and the glass is half full, I reckon[1], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[2], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[1], and the glass is half full, I reckon[2], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[1], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[2], and don't get upset, please![1], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[2], and, so, yes ... we're going back![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![1], and, so, yes ... we're going back![2], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![1], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![2], and, uh ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![2], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![3], and ... Christ![3], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[3], and it's a tragedy, man![3], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[3], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[3], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[3], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[3], and ... silly me![3], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[3], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[3], and if in doubt - spin![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[3], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![3], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[3], and it could be comforting[3], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[3], and the glass is half full, I reckon[3], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[3], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[3], and don't get upset, please![3], and, so, yes ... we're going back![3], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![3], and

And, uh ...[1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![1], and, uh ...[2], and ... Christ![1], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![2], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[1], and ... Christ![2], and it's a tragedy, man![1], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[2], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[1], and it's a tragedy, man![2], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[1], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[2], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[1], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[2], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[1], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[2], and ... silly me![1], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[2], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[1], and ... silly me![2], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[1], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[2], and if in doubt - spin![1], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[1], and if in doubt - spin![2], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[2], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[1], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![2], and it could be comforting[1], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[2], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[1], and it could be comforting[2], and the glass is half full, I reckon[1], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[2], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[1], and the glass is half full, I reckon[2], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[1], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[2], and don't get upset, please![1], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[2], and, so, yes ... we're going back![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![1], and, so, yes ... we're going back![2], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![1], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![2], and, uh ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![2], and ain't that the goddamn awful truth?![3], and ... Christ![3], and if you go a-ROUND ... you can be sure you'll be back here soon enough[3], and it's a tragedy, man![3], and, or, or, OR(!) ... an opportunity to get wise ... ?[3], and I wouldn't like to say, kook(s), no, no, no, because I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment ...[3], and I've hardly got the energy to talk, type ...[3], and ... what do you think? / and, ha! ... uh ... I forgot, you don't think, do you?[3], and ... silly me![3], and that's my fault ... because I told YOU(!) to feel[3], and it's confusing, I know / and I confuse you, yes / and I confuse myself, seriously[3], and if in doubt - spin![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and don't you feel a whole lot better?[3], and ... 'I'm feeling worse, boss' / and I wasn't asking you, idiot![3], and here we are / and NOTHING changes / and maybe we shouldn't be complaining ... ?[3], and it could be comforting[3], and you've got to look at the situation a certain way / and you've got to twist your mind[3], and the glass is half full, I reckon[3], and, of course, we haven't even mentioned life beyond the THREE yet / and ... 'No, boss, no!'[3], and, uh ... okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ... / and okay, okay, okay ...[3], and don't get upset, please![3], and, so, yes ... we're going back![3], and, but ... Bodhi didn't go back![3], and, yes, yes, yes ... FFS![3], and

Steven Nerayoff has joined XTRD

So ... 'Who, boss?!' What do you mean, who, Voice?! Steven Nerayoff! He's one of the original creators of the framework for initial token offerings (ICOs). He's a blockchain and technology pioneer. Just look at what Bloomberg says about him -

This person is connected to 2 Board Members in 2 organization across 2 different industries.

You see? 'Yeah, I see.' Christ! / Oh, it's a PR email, dear reader(s). No hedge fund news, I'm afraid. Maybe they don't exist no more. / Oh, and interviews with Steven are available. 'Are you going to interview him, boss?' Er ... no.

XTRD, a technology company building the infrastructure for institutional investors to enter into cryptocurrency, has announced that Steven Nerayoff, one of the original creators of the framework for Initial Token Offerings (ICOs), has joined the company as a strategic advisor. Nerayoff will advise XTRD as the company begins to roll out their product and onboard institutional clients for the initial trials of their complete trading platform. 

You see? And this Steven is a legend in the business, apparently. 'Who says?!' Well, it should go without saying. However, for your information, Voice, and the readers, Alexander Kravets says he's a legend. Look -

"Steve is a legend in the world of blockchain and cryptocurrency and to have him onboard with us as we begin to onboard major strategic partners is incredible and truly an honor," said Alexander Kravets, CEO of XTRD. "His deep knowledge of the industry, unmatched experience, connections, and expertise will prove invaluable for us in the near future. It's also a huge testament to our project and the grand vision we have for a person like him to recognize the potential in our future and we are humbled by that."

They've got a grand vision, too! 'Brilliant! They're like you and Elon Musk, boss.' Ha, ha, ha! I doubt very much they're like me and Elon, man. We've take grand visions to the next level. / Anyway, let's hear from the great(ish) man himself -

"XTRD is a fantastic project that is potentially solving one of the biggest challenges in cryptocurrency and providing a mechanism that brings institutional investors into the crypto," said Nerayoff. "What's more, the team backing them up have the experience, connections, and technical background to make it happen."

Okay, okay. Into the crypto! Nice one! Thanks, Steven.

...

Right. Anything else? Elon Musk news? Jesus H. - !!! There's countless halfwits on Twitter all laying into Elon now (abusing Elon for, uh, being abusive). 'Ha!' Yeah, and saying that Elon's useless and that. But these fuckers couldn't build a go-kart out of old bits of wood, let alone a submarine, a car, or a rocket. Do you know what I mean, dear reader(s)?

Laters.

Monday, 16 July 2018

[No. 627] Cosmic triplets

Julius Caesar. Elon Musk. Michael Fowke. Deal with it!

And ... seriously, you dig?[1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![1], and ... seriously, you dig?[2], and ... obviously, ha![1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![2], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![1], and ... obviously, ha![2], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[1], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![1], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[2], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![2], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[1], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[2], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[1], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[2], and ... cheer up![1], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[2], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[1], and ... cheer up![2], and ... come on![1], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![1], and ... come on![2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![2], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![1], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[2], and a mystery? Tell me about it![1], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![2], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[1], and a mystery? Tell me about it![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[1], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[2], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[2], and it's a great responsibility[1], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![2], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[1], and it's a great responsibility[2], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![1], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[2], and ... seriously, you dig?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![2], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![3], and ... obviously, ha![3], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![3], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![3], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[3], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[3], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[3], and ... cheer up![3], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[3], and ... come on![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[3], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![3], and a mystery? Tell me about it![3], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[3], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![3], and it's a great responsibility[3], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![3], and

And ... seriously, you dig?[1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![1], and ... seriously, you dig?[2], and ... obviously, ha![1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![2], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![1], and ... obviously, ha![2], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[1], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![1], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[2], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![2], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[1], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[2], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[1], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[2], and ... cheer up![1], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[2], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[1], and ... cheer up![2], and ... come on![1], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![1], and ... come on![2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![2], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![1], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[2], and a mystery? Tell me about it![1], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![2], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[1], and a mystery? Tell me about it![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[1], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[2], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[2], and it's a great responsibility[1], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![2], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[1], and it's a great responsibility[2], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![1], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[2], and ... seriously, you dig?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![2], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![3], and ... obviously, ha![3], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![3], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![3], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[3], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[3], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[3], and ... cheer up![3], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[3], and ... come on![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[3], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![3], and a mystery? Tell me about it![3], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[3], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![3], and it's a great responsibility[3], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![3], and

And ... seriously, you dig?[1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![1], and ... seriously, you dig?[2], and ... obviously, ha![1], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![2], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![1], and ... obviously, ha![2], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[1], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![1], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[2], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![2], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[1], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[2], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[1], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[2], and ... cheer up![1], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[2], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[1], and ... cheer up![2], and ... come on![1], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![1], and ... come on![2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![2], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![1], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[2], and a mystery? Tell me about it![1], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![2], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[1], and a mystery? Tell me about it![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[1], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[2], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[2], and it's a great responsibility[1], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![2], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[1], and it's a great responsibility[2], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![1], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[2], and ... seriously, you dig?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![2], and, oh ... NOTHING will split us up![3], and ... obviously, ha![3], and, uh ... the normals will get upset, I know, I know ... / ... and screw them!!![3], and maybe there's a rocket with our names on it ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... ?! ... Julius, Elon, Mikey ... ?! ... oh, the boys are back in town![3], and it's a funny old cosmos ...[3], and, listen ... that Alexander ain't welcome, man / and he's a total mug, honestly, take my word for it[3], and life beyond the THREE is waiting for us ...[3], and ... cheer up![3], and if we get ... ever so DIZZY(!) ... the cold world will disappear from view / and I truly believe that[3], and ... come on![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and it's so easy, a genius could do it![3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and I'm one of the best / and 'So am I!' / and 'So am I!' / and 'That wasn't me, boss!' / and I know, Voice[3], and, kooks ... learn a thing or two, please, please![3], and a mystery? Tell me about it![3], and I don't know how this came to be - fate? / and there are powerful forces in the universe, man[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... all three of us must go through with it[3], and I look at the normals, oblivious, oh, they have the life of Riley, no doubt about it![3], and it's a great responsibility[3], and I'm thinking now: Maybe we should ask Picasso to join us ... ?[3], and ... one more spin for the galaxy, guys![3], and

If I were Elon Musk ...

Well, no, no, okay, okay, the thing is, dear reader(s) ... Julius Caesar, Elon Musk, and I, Michael Fowke, are more or less the same person, anyway. 'Actually, boss, you're spiritual brothers. Cosmic triplets, as it were.' Yes, Voice, that's right. We're cosmic triplets. As it were. / This weekend though I've started thinking that Julius Caesar is the senior partner in the brotherhood. 'The older brother, boss.' Yes, Voice. Whatever. 'Why have you been thinking that then?' Well, Elon and I both had pretty awful weekends, and we behaved in ways that Caesar wouldn't have done.

Just starting with myself, I was very lazy at the weekend. I hardly did anything. I watched TV. 'Oh.' I mean, I played my guitar for a couple of hours. However, most of the time I was goofing off like any ordinary person. 'Oh dear. / What about Elon, boss?' Er ... well, Elon dealt with some bad publicity concerning his donation to the Republican Party by accusing one of the rescue divers in Thailand of being a "pedo". So, uh ... 'Oh dear.' Yeah. We both let ourselves down, man.

You see, dear reader(s), Musk acts like Caesar. He takes risks, takes massive action, and achieves great things. However, he doesn't quite possess Caesar's superior, aloof personality yet. [I believe it's something that can be developed with self-discipline.] Then there's me. I act like a normal person, always goofing off, being lazy. However, I've had the Caesarean personality ever since I can remember. Cicero once called Caesar a "teras". This is from Christian Meier's book -

Caesar had never been properly understood in Rome. Things now became worse. At the beginning of the civil war Cicero called him a teras, a wonderful, frightening, monstrous and inscrutable phenomenon of a higher order - so alien had he become to his peers. Yet it was in such alienation that he had found his freedom.

You see? 'Well, that's you all over, that is, boss.' I know it is, Voice! Elon needs to become like that*. And I need to start working around the clock, like Elon. 'But I thought you were!' Oh, man, I've been doing it in short bursts. Two days here, three days there. But I haven't been doing it consistently.

...

Never mind, eh? I'm sure everything will work out for the best. / How was your weekend, dear reader(s)?


*By the way, I've read that Elon admires Alexander the Great. Oh, big mistake, man!!! Alexander was a thuggish buffoon - and a cartoon character compared to Julius Caesar.

Thursday, 12 July 2018

It's the last post of the week, so ...

So ... be happy, man! I am. 'Is that the news, boss? It's the last post of the week?' Yeah, it's the news. So what?

I did get one PR email about female fund managers only managing 4 percent of the world's assets or something. There should be more women managers? I suppose it is a problem. I don't know. Now, this may be a controversial thing to say, but ... maybe women have better things to do with their time. You dig? Personally, as a man, I don't manage a fund. I've never managed a fund. I have no desire to manage a fund. All I want to do is play my guitar. I'm a free spirit! Maybe these women want to paint pictures or something. What do I know? Who gives a shit?!

Christ! Let's make the most of our lives, dear reader(s). Let's not waste them. Remember, there are billions of years to come, years without us, years rolling over us ...

I want to go to St Ives again. I don't know if I will. The weather is changing, anyway. Bloody English weather! Why can't it stay at twenty degrees centigrade and be nice and sunny all the time? It's either a hellish thirty degrees making us sweat like monkeys in a barrel of treacle, or it's freezing cold and pissing down with rain. That's why I want to live in Malibu, man. I think they have pretty stable weather over there all year round.

Of course, I've got to hit the big time as a rock star first. I mean, I don't want to be sucking around Malibu like the Dude, you know, Lebowski. Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name, I don't like your jerk-off face, I don't like your jerk-off behaviour, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear? That's the sheriff, that is. It's not good, is it?

Okay. Laters!

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

Everyone's having a go at Elon Musk about his submarine

Well, not everyone. But it's just any excuse these days to attack him. That submarine for kids is a new piece of technology - built over one weekend when most people were goofing off watching TV or something - and it will come in useful one day, I'm sure. / Obviously, the whole episode wasn't Elon's finest hour. His turning up in Thailand with a submarine that wasn't really needed in the end did have echoes of Gazza with his fried chicken, cans of beer, and fishing rod trying to comfort Raoul Moat, BUT(!) ... as a South African living in America, Elon wouldn't have been aware of this classic bit of English folklore.

The truth is, the human race has become lazy, even fallen asleep. Elon Musk is waking everyone up. The future is a sci-fi future thanks to him. In twenty years' time there will be people living and working on Mars, electric cars and planes and boats will be everywhere on earth, and we'll have space internet ... we might even have teleportation. Who knows?! This is the future, man. Elon has given other carmakers a kick in the ass (and balls). He's given NASA a kick in the ass. Things are happening now because one man wasn't prepared to goof off like everyone else. / So, leave him the fuck alone!

...

Anything else? Uh. Oh, you want more? I ain't got nothing else to say, dear reader(s). So ... 'Brexit, boss?' Get lost with your ridiculous nonsense, Voice! Seriously. 'Eh?! It's not mine! / Your music then?' Uh. I ain't got nothing to say, man. I'm playing my guitar. I'm rehearsing my songs. That's it. Leave me alone!

Laters.

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

[No. 626] Focus on yourself

You don't want to take an interest in the world. Trust me. Nine times out of ten you'll be getting involved in absolute nonsense.

And, oh ... you, I suppose[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[1], and, oh ... you, I suppose[2], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[2], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[1], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[2], and are you ... uh, a robot?[1], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[1], and are you ... uh, a robot?[2], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[2], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[1], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[2], and I'm only trying to help ...[1], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[2], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[1], and I'm only trying to help ...[2], and they are killers of spirit[1], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[2], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[1], and they are killers of spirit[2], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![1], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[2], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[1], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![2], and just be free, please![1], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[2], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![1], and just be free, please![2], and ... of LIFE!!![1], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![2], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[1], and ... of LIFE!!![2], and don't cry![1], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[2], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[1], and don't cry![2], and no one loves a fool ...[1], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[2], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[1], and no one loves a fool ...[2], and ... wake up![1], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[2], and, oh ... you, I suppose[3], and ... wake up![2], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[3], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[3], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[3], and are you ... uh, a robot?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[3], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[3], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[3], and I'm only trying to help ...[3], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[3], and they are killers of spirit[3], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[3], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![3], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[3], and just be free, please![3], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![3], and ... of LIFE!!![3], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[3], and don't cry![3], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[3], and no one loves a fool ...[3], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[3], and ... wake up![3], and

And, oh ... you, I suppose[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[1], and, oh ... you, I suppose[2], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[2], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[1], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[2], and are you ... uh, a robot?[1], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[1], and are you ... uh, a robot?[2], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[2], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[1], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[2], and I'm only trying to help ...[1], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[2], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[1], and I'm only trying to help ...[2], and they are killers of spirit[1], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[2], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[1], and they are killers of spirit[2], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![1], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[2], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[1], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![2], and just be free, please![1], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[2], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![1], and just be free, please![2], and ... of LIFE!!![1], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![2], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[1], and ... of LIFE!!![2], and don't cry![1], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[2], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[1], and don't cry![2], and no one loves a fool ...[1], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[2], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[1], and no one loves a fool ...[2], and ... wake up![1], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[2], and, oh ... you, I suppose[3], and ... wake up![2], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[3], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[3], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[3], and are you ... uh, a robot?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[3], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[3], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[3], and I'm only trying to help ...[3], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[3], and they are killers of spirit[3], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[3], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![3], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[3], and just be free, please![3], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![3], and ... of LIFE!!![3], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[3], and don't cry![3], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[3], and no one loves a fool ...[3], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[3], and ... wake up![3], and

And, oh ... you, I suppose[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[1], and, oh ... you, I suppose[2], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[1], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[2], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[1], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[2], and are you ... uh, a robot?[1], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[1], and are you ... uh, a robot?[2], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[2], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[1], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[2], and I'm only trying to help ...[1], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[2], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[1], and I'm only trying to help ...[2], and they are killers of spirit[1], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[2], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[1], and they are killers of spirit[2], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![1], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[2], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[1], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![2], and just be free, please![1], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[2], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![1], and just be free, please![2], and ... of LIFE!!![1], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![2], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[1], and ... of LIFE!!![2], and don't cry![1], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[2], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[1], and don't cry![2], and no one loves a fool ...[1], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[2], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[1], and no one loves a fool ...[2], and ... wake up![1], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[2], and, oh ... you, I suppose[3], and ... wake up![2], and come on! ... is there even a YOU(!)?[3], and I'm not being funny, man, but take away the opinions you've been programmed with and what's left?[3], and do you have feelings - ? Really? Be honest[3], and are you ... uh, a robot?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / ... yes, like a kook, you can be free[3], and ... Christ! If that doesn't work ...[3], and, listen ... go to the zone, the zone in your head, and stay there, and get DIZZY(!) a bit, or a lot, if you like, that's my advice[3], and I'm only trying to help ...[3], and the people who control society ... want you to engage with the bullshit they're offering[3], and they are killers of spirit[3], and how many of their lies have you happily gone along with already today?[3], and don't be sad: you can be saved!!![3], and you are the most important thing in your life / and it often doesn't seem that way, I know[3], and just be free, please![3], and, uh, before you were born, son/daughter, there were billions of years ... lots of time![3], and ... of LIFE!!![3], and after you die, oh, there will be billions of years more, big time / and it's not great, is it?[3], and don't cry![3], and, listen ... you can become MASSIVE in one second - it's your choice[3], and no one loves a fool ...[3], and it's a hard fact of life: the things you cherish are comical shite just bringing you down, baby[3], and ... wake up![3], and

Another chat with Euan Munro

Yes, another chat with the Aviva Investors chief executive. Why not? I haven't got anything else to do, and I haven't received any decent PR emails from anyone. It's all crypto rubbish, and I'm getting fed up with it, frankly. / So I phoned my mate Euan late last night. 'You phoned him, boss?' Yes, Voice. 'You didn't use a mind connection?' Ha! In this heat? Be serious. No, I phoned him, dear reader(s), and this is what was spoken between us -

FFS! Hello, Michael. What do you want at this hour? Just a chat, man. What's your problem? I ain't got a problem, son. Good! So, how's it all going with the beer and ice cream and that? Great, Mikey! No problems at all. I told you this CO2 shortage was a load of bollocks, didn't I? Well, I don't think it's over yet, man. Have you got your crumpets? I heard you had a bit of trouble. Yeah. Yeah, I've got my crumpets. You don't sound too happy about it. Well, I think I've got the wrong margarine, Euan. Oh. You see, I normally like Flora Original, but I had to get this Flora Light instead, and I'm not sure about it. I mean, it tastes different. Oh, okay. How long have you been using it? Since Saturday. Well, it's early days yet. Maybe it'll grow on you. Yeah. / So, is everyone having a good time in the park? What?! We're having an amazing time, Mike, believe me. Thanks for asking. We go to the pub in the evenings as well. And we haven't even touched the cans in the office yet. Did you get some in then? Ha! We can hardly move in the office now. Cans everywhere. Right. Well, that doesn't matter, does it? When was the last time you spent a whole day in the office, Euan? Er ... end of May, I think. The Schroders lot don't go in there, do they? Oh, no. They run the funds from their offices. Makes it easier. Yeah, I suppose. Ha! Bunch of mugs, eh? Ha! Tell me about it, Mikey! But they like doing the work, so, uh ... leave them to it, yeah? Do you know what I mean, man? It's their life, Euan. You can't change people. I wouldn't want to.

...

Well, it went on like that for a while, dear reader(s). We didn't discuss finance. 'There's no need to, boss, not with Schroders taking care of everything. Actually, why don't you phone someone at Schroders and discuss it with them?' Ha! No thanks, Voice. Life is too short.

Monday, 9 July 2018

[No. 625] To be, or what?

Some fucking question! Seriously.

And, uh ...[1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![1], and, uh ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![2], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![2], and ONE DAY ... ha![1], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![2], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[1], and ONE DAY ... ha![2], and ... 'Eh?'[1], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[2], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[1], and ... 'Eh?'[2], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![1], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[2], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[1], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... what a comedy![1], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[2], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[1], and ... what a comedy![2], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![1], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[2], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[1], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![2], and I believe in magic!!![1], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![1], and I believe in magic!!![2], and, okay ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[1], and, okay ...[2], and not a whimper, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[2], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[1], and not a whimper, no[2], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[1], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[2], and ... silence![1], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[2], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[1], and ... silence![2], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[1], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[2], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[1], and, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and come with me![1], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[2], and, uh ...[3], and come with me![2], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![3], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![3], and ONE DAY ... ha![3], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[3], and ... 'Eh?'[3], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[3], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![3], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[3], and ... what a comedy![3], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[3], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![3], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[3], and I believe in magic!!![3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![3], and, okay ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[3], and not a whimper, no[3], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[3], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[3], and ... silence![3], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[3], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[3], and come with me![3], and

And, uh ...[1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![1], and, uh ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![2], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![2], and ONE DAY ... ha![1], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![2], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[1], and ONE DAY ... ha![2], and ... 'Eh?'[1], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[2], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[1], and ... 'Eh?'[2], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![1], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[2], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[1], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... what a comedy![1], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[2], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[1], and ... what a comedy![2], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![1], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[2], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[1], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![2], and I believe in magic!!![1], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![1], and I believe in magic!!![2], and, okay ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[1], and, okay ...[2], and not a whimper, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[2], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[1], and not a whimper, no[2], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[1], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[2], and ... silence![1], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[2], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[1], and ... silence![2], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[1], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[2], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[1], and, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and come with me![1], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[2], and, uh ...[3], and come with me![2], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![3], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![3], and ONE DAY ... ha![3], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[3], and ... 'Eh?'[3], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[3], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![3], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[3], and ... what a comedy![3], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[3], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![3], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[3], and I believe in magic!!![3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![3], and, okay ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[3], and not a whimper, no[3], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[3], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[3], and ... silence![3], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[3], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[3], and come with me![3], and

And, uh ...[1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![1], and, uh ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![1], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![2], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![2], and ONE DAY ... ha![1], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![2], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[1], and ONE DAY ... ha![2], and ... 'Eh?'[1], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[2], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[1], and ... 'Eh?'[2], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![1], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[2], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[1], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![2], and ... what a comedy![1], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[2], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[1], and ... what a comedy![2], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![1], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[2], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[1], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![2], and I believe in magic!!![1], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![1], and I believe in magic!!![2], and, okay ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[1], and, okay ...[2], and not a whimper, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[2], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[1], and not a whimper, no[2], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[1], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[2], and ... silence![1], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[2], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[1], and ... silence![2], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[1], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[2], and, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[2], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[1], and, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and come with me![1], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[2], and, uh ...[3], and come with me![2], and we've got to keep going, kook(s) - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, I know it's exhausting, Christ![3], and what else are we going to do? Tell me![3], and ONE DAY ... ha![3], and, listen ... maybe each of us should find our own salvation, you dig?[3], and ... 'Eh?'[3], and I'll see you on the other side ... or not[3], and 'Mikey, you can't abandon us!' / and, Voice, I can't be responsible for everyone, Jesus H. - !!![3], and I've started something that has got no finish ...[3], and ... what a comedy![3], and let's be honest, my friend(s) ... eternity is a pain in the arse / and I want to sleep, man[3], and a bare bodkin? Fuck off![3], and just let me snooze while I spin ... / and someone wake me up once we're beyond the THREE[3], and I believe in magic!!![3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... believe in me, oh, I know, I know, I know / and, thank you![3], and, okay ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here we go ... / and I'm waiting for a bang[3], and not a whimper, no[3], and ... tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow - ?[3], and I've never been all that Lucky, really ... / and thank God! ... because he talks absolute rubbish[3], and ... silence![3], and, uh ... my head is a chaotic mess / and what else is old?[3], and, please! ... let us hide here forever / and it's better than being on that raft ...[3], and, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and don't worry, kook(s), I'll keep going[3], and come with me![3], and