Thursday, 14 December 2017

[No. 571] Knackered!

But I gotta keep spinning, man!

And it's true ... I'm knackered![1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's true ... I'm knackered![2], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![1], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[2], and some hope[1], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![2], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[1], and some hope[2], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[1], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[2], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[1], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[2], and kooks, help![1], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[2], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[1], and kooks, help![2], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[1], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[2], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[1], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[2], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[2], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[1], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and I just don't know[1], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![1], and I just don't know[2], and I don't care, honestly[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![2], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![1], and I don't care, honestly[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![2], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![1], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[2], and pray for me, please![1], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![2], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[1], and pray for me, please![2], and pray HARD - !!![1], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[2], and it's true ... I'm knackered![3], and pray HARD - !!![2], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[3], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![3], and some hope[3], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[3], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[3], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[3], and kooks, help![3], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[3], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[3], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[3], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[3], and I just don't know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![3], and I don't care, honestly[3], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[3], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![3], and pray for me, please![3], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[3], and pray HARD - !!![3], and

And it's true ... I'm knackered![1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's true ... I'm knackered![2], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![1], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[2], and some hope[1], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![2], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[1], and some hope[2], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[1], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[2], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[1], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[2], and kooks, help![1], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[2], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[1], and kooks, help![2], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[1], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[2], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[1], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[2], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[2], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[1], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and I just don't know[1], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![1], and I just don't know[2], and I don't care, honestly[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![2], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![1], and I don't care, honestly[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![2], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![1], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[2], and pray for me, please![1], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![2], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[1], and pray for me, please![2], and pray HARD - !!![1], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[2], and it's true ... I'm knackered![3], and pray HARD - !!![2], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[3], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![3], and some hope[3], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[3], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[3], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[3], and kooks, help![3], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[3], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[3], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[3], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[3], and I just don't know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![3], and I don't care, honestly[3], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[3], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![3], and pray for me, please![3], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[3], and pray HARD - !!![3], and

And it's true ... I'm knackered![1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's true ... I'm knackered![2], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[1], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![1], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[2], and some hope[1], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![2], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[1], and some hope[2], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[1], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[2], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[1], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[2], and kooks, help![1], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[2], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[1], and kooks, help![2], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[1], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[2], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[1], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[2], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[2], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[1], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and I just don't know[1], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![1], and I just don't know[2], and I don't care, honestly[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![2], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![1], and I don't care, honestly[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![2], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![1], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[2], and pray for me, please![1], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![2], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[1], and pray for me, please![2], and pray HARD - !!![1], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[2], and it's true ... I'm knackered![3], and pray HARD - !!![2], and I don't think I can keep going ... but I gotta keep going, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and, yes, for my sins, certainly[3], and maybe when all the BAD KARMA has gone ... I'll be somewhere beyond the THREE, so happy![3], and some hope[3], and it's my consciousness ness ... ah, consciousness ness that needs it so badly ... you dig?[3], and it's like talking to a plank of wood sometimes ...[3], and how can I make YOU(!) ... dig the need for dizziness ness, my friend(s)?[3], and kooks, help![3], and a-ROUND here ain't for the faint-hearted ...[3], and one day ... I'll get away for good ... somewhere, yes, uh, where the evil words can't find me[3], and the desert now, is old now, yes, but ...[3], and, uh ... I don't know where, but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and, man, I got a cactus, and my cactus is good to me, which is some comfort, yes[3], and I just don't know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, let the words spin themselves into mush![3], and I don't care, honestly[3], and in the sky ... maybe there'll be a beautiful rainbow - ?![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and I don't even like rainbows, man / and, I mean, compared to what's beyond, you dig?[3], and I could have been like YOU(!)!!![3], and pray for me, please![3], and one day, like any other, I'll be GONE(!) ... like all this was a terrible nightmare ...[3], and pray HARD - !!![3], and

Rural people

Yeah, in Madagascar. They've got some money for food security and climate change, which is all right. Have a look, dear reader(s) -

Rome, 13 December 2017 - A new financial agreement, signed today between the International Fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD) and Madagascar, will sustainably improve incomes and food and nutrition security for 320,000 Malagasy rural households in eight regions located in the southern part of the country.

The total cost of the programme is US$250 million, including a $26.5 million loan and $26.5 million grant from IFAD. The programme will be co-financed by the Government of Madagascar ($33.7 million), the African Development Bank ($50 million), the OPEC Fund for International Development ($20 million), the Green Climate Fund ($15 million) and by the beneficiaries themselves ($14.3 million). A financing gap of $64 million could be covered by subsequent IFAD resource allocation processes or by other financial partners to be determined during the implementation of DEFIS. The programme will be implemented over a period of 10 years in order to provide stable and predictable financing to producers.

In Madagascar, despite rich biodiversity and diverse agricultural products, 76 per cent of the population fall below the minimum dietary energy requirements of 2,133 kcals per day. The prevalence of chronic malnutrition among children under five years of age is among the highest in the world while the prevalence of poverty in rural areas is above 80 per cent. Limited investment in agriculture and in rural areas are among the chief causes of poverty and food and nutrition insecurity in Madagascar.

To improve the productivity of smallholder family farms and better link them to markets, the new programme will concentrate its investments in eight priority value chains: rice, maize, cassava, groundnut, coffee, onion, small ruminants and honey, with three priority crops selected in each region. In addition, DEFIS will invest in the promotion of sorghum in order to build the resilience of production systems for family farms in semi-arid zones in the extreme southern regions, which are highly vulnerable to the adverse effects of climate change. DEFIS is expected, among other things, to rehabilitate 20,000 hectares of existing irrigation develop 8,000 hectares of new irrigated schemes and install micro-improvements on 7,000 hectares. In addition, it will support the construction of 300 water points, 50 underground water catchment reservoirs for small ruminants.


I've left some bits out, but you get the basic idea, I'm sure. Here's something about IFAD -

IFAD invests in rural people, empowering them to reduce poverty, increase food security, improve nutrition and strengthen resilience. Since 1978, we have provided about US$18.9 billion in grants and low-interest loans to projects that have reached some 470 million people. IFAD is an international financial institution and a specialized United Nations agency based in Rome - the UN's food and agriculture hub.

And ... ENDS. Okay. 'Are you all right today, boss?' Well, I'm a bit fed up, Voice. I just want it to be Christmas, you know? I want a break from blogging. 'Only one week to go!' Yeah, I suppose.

...

Anything else? Er ... I'll be doing a conceptual later, No. 571, the last post of the week.

So ... I'll see you a bit later, reader(s).

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

I don't believe a word of this

No, no, no. No! I don't believe a word of this. Sorry, Robert Half. 'Who? What? Boss, what's going on?' It's research they did, Voice. Robert Half. Look -

London, UK - UK financial services companies are increasingly bringing their offshored operations back to home nations as companies are being affected by rising costs and lacklustre service in offshore regions, according to specialized recruiter Robert Half Financial Services. Despite the UK's imminent departure from the EU, London remains the world's No 1 financial centre and this increased level of onshoring could lead to more jobs being created in the financial services sector.

Ha! Ha! 'Ha! Christ! Who wrote this email, boss? David Davis?' I don't know, Voice, but everyone knows we're losing jobs, not gaining them. And things will only get worse.

The research has found more than half (59%) of the UK’s financial services executives have increased their level of onshoring - transferring offshored business operations back to the UK - in the past two years, compared to just 4% who have decreased their onshoring activities.

When asked why they have increased their level of onshoring, 64% of financial services executives refer to service quality complaints and 54% refer to the increase in costs - indicating a cost and quality factor in determining operations being brought back to the UK. The skills shortage (53%) and a lack of efficiency in the offshored regions (37%) are further cited as key reasons for transferring offshored business operations back to the UK.

Yeah, yeah. 'Yeah.' It won't last. Whatever's going on here - if it's even happening, of course - won't last. You can take my word for that, dear reader(s). / Matt Weston?

"In the face of change, financial services companies in London are increasingly under pressure to remain competitive by maximizing performance and decreasing costs," commented Matt Weston, Director at Robert Half UK. "In order to achieve this and offer a premium service, many firms are bringing key business operations back to the UK and creating 'centres of excellence' by creating jobs and career development opportunities for local talent."

Okay, okay. Who is this Matt Weston, exactly? 'He must be one of those deranged Brexiters, boss.' Oh, I wouldn't be surprised.

And that's enough, dear reader(s)! You know my feelings and thoughts on the matter now. I'll say no more about it.

...

Anything else? Not a lot, no. I'm still in my Christmas mood, and that will probably last until the end of the month.

Music? What am I listening to? The best album of the century so far ... Back to Black by Amy Winehouse. / I wonder if Mark Ronson would like to produce my album ... I'd like that retro but modern sound. 'Eh, Mikey?' I mean, Back to Black sounds like a Sixties album that was recorded in 2006. That's what I mean, man.

Anyway, laters, yeah?

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Rents in London

They're going up, apparently. 'No new hedge funds, boss?' Not that I know of, Voice. So we're doing this -

The rental market in Prime Central London has shown signs of recovery at the end of 2017, according to a new analysis by London Central Portfolio. Following 18 months of negative rental growth, the mainstream rental market has now seen two consecutive months of positive increases with rents in November up 3% year-on-year. Weekly rents in the mainstream market now average £573.

Okay, okay. And who can afford these rents, exactly?

Heaton explains: "We saw big increases in the number of available rental properties post the introduction of ARSD. As tax changes and Brexit uncertainty caused instability, many owners opted to rent, rather than sell, in a weak market. With more choice available, tenants were able to negotiate harder on rents, resulting in the downward pressure seen in 2016. However, it now appears that this trend has begun to reverse. Not only have we seen falling numbers of available rental units, but we have seen increases in transactions in the sales market. PCL annual sales volumes to Q3 2017 reached 5,542, representing a 15% increase on Q3 2016."

That's nice, Heaton, son, but who can afford these rents? 'Daughter, boss.' Pardon?! 'You should be saying Heaton, daughter ... in your best Sweeney voice.' Ha! It doesn't work that way, man.

Naomi Heaton, CEO of LCP, comments: "It is becoming increasingly clear that tenants are looking for smaller and smaller properties as they seek central locations offering an easy commute to work or university at affordable prices. This is driving demand for Prime Central London's small units. Whilst larger 3+ bedroom flats have also seen growth, this is compensating for a prolonged period of falls with rents still below where they were in May 2011."

Affordable prices? Well, I suppose someone will let you stay in their shed for £200 a week. 'Ha!' It's not funny, Voice. / Okay, we'll ENDS with this -

Heaton comments: "Landlords are pushing for higher rents as they seek to recoup the punitive entry and running costs due to ARSD and the reductions in mortgage interest relief. However, tenants are still winning out and able to negotiate down current asking levels. If stock levels continue to decrease into 2018, we may well see this gap closing in the landlord's favour as tenants' bargaining power diminishes."

ENDS

...

Right. Anything else? Music? My music? 'You don't do updates no more, Mikey.' Shut it, you slag! / My new song? Well, I rewrote the chorus and bridge lyric late last night, and changed the title. Never, never, never, never, never trust me, dear reader(s), when I say that a song is finished. 'Ha!' But it's finished now, of course.

Ah, it's bloody cold!

Laters.

Monday, 11 December 2017

[No. 570] In the zone

I'm loving it!

And, well, well, well ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and it takes years of practice ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![2], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[1], and it takes years of practice ...[2], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[1], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[2], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[1], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[2], and just put a toe in, please![1], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[1], and just put a toe in, please![2], and I'm an expert, actually[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[2], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[1], and I'm an expert, actually[2], and I try, I try, God knows[1], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[2], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[1], and I try, I try, God knows[2], and kooks, help![1], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[2], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![1], and kooks, help![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[1], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![2], and busy slaves so sad[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[2], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![1], and busy slaves so sad[2], and kooks, show the squares[1], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![2], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![1], and kooks, show the squares[2], and watch The Voice - NOW![1], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![2], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[1], and watch The Voice - NOW![2], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[1], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[2], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[1], and ... ha![2], and ... one day, you dig?[1], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[2], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![3], and it takes years of practice ...[3], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[3], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[3], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[3], and just put a toe in, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[3], and I'm an expert, actually[3], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[3], and I try, I try, God knows[3], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[3], and kooks, help![3], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![3], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[3], and busy slaves so sad[3], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![3], and kooks, show the squares[3], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![3], and watch The Voice - NOW![3], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[3], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[3], and ... ha![3], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[3], and

And, well, well, well ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and it takes years of practice ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![2], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[1], and it takes years of practice ...[2], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[1], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[2], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[1], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[2], and just put a toe in, please![1], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[1], and just put a toe in, please![2], and I'm an expert, actually[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[2], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[1], and I'm an expert, actually[2], and I try, I try, God knows[1], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[2], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[1], and I try, I try, God knows[2], and kooks, help![1], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[2], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![1], and kooks, help![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[1], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![2], and busy slaves so sad[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[2], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![1], and busy slaves so sad[2], and kooks, show the squares[1], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![2], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![1], and kooks, show the squares[2], and watch The Voice - NOW![1], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![2], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[1], and watch The Voice - NOW![2], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[1], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[2], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[1], and ... ha![2], and ... one day, you dig?[1], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[2], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![3], and it takes years of practice ...[3], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[3], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[3], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[3], and just put a toe in, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[3], and I'm an expert, actually[3], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[3], and I try, I try, God knows[3], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[3], and kooks, help![3], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![3], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[3], and busy slaves so sad[3], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![3], and kooks, show the squares[3], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![3], and watch The Voice - NOW![3], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[3], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[3], and ... ha![3], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[3], and

And, well, well, well ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and it takes years of practice ...[1], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![2], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[1], and it takes years of practice ...[2], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[1], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[2], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[1], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[2], and just put a toe in, please![1], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[1], and just put a toe in, please![2], and I'm an expert, actually[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[2], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[1], and I'm an expert, actually[2], and I try, I try, God knows[1], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[2], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[1], and I try, I try, God knows[2], and kooks, help![1], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[2], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![1], and kooks, help![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[1], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![2], and busy slaves so sad[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[2], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![1], and busy slaves so sad[2], and kooks, show the squares[1], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![2], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![1], and kooks, show the squares[2], and watch The Voice - NOW![1], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![2], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[1], and watch The Voice - NOW![2], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[1], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[2], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[1], and ... ha![2], and ... one day, you dig?[1], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[2], and, uh, here I am ... spinning, wildly, and better than usual![3], and it takes years of practice ...[3], and where are YOU(!) ... ? / and what are YOU(!) doing? / and, man, if you ain't spinning, get spinning, you dig?[3], and beyond? Oh, not today, so relax[3], and this ain't on the National Health, son / and daughter, yes, daughter, too[3], and just put a toe in, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and excuse me while I kiss the sky[3], and I'm an expert, actually[3], and, well ... special offer!: squares are welcome, one spin only[3], and I try, I try, God knows[3], and you can lead a horse to water ... / and you can lead a SQUARE(!) to a conceptual ...[3], and kooks, help![3], and one spin ain't gonna kill you / and it may fuck up your consciousness a little bit, ha![3], and getting DIZZY(!) is the ultimate ride[3], and busy slaves so sad[3], and what's so important, eh? / and, oh ... you've got work to do, okay, okay, as if![3], and kooks, show the squares[3], and come on, come on, come on, spin, spin, spin![3], and watch The Voice - NOW![3], and here - !!! a-ROUND ... you see? / and, ah, there's NOTHING(!) to it[3], and ... 'Mikey, what's all the fuss about? What are they scared of?'[3], and ... ha![3], and it's fear of the unknown, Voice, but I've made it known, and it's beyond the THREE that worries me ...[3], and ... one day, you dig?[3], and

I'm in a Christmas mood, to tell you the truth

Just random thoughts ...

Yeah, yeah, so, uh ... no finance today, dear reader(s), if you don't mind. I doubt there's much news anyway. 'There's only two weeks to go, boss, until your Christmas break.' Thank you, Voice. Yes, but I wish it were now, because I'm knackered. I need a rest. 'You do too much. All this blogging, and then playing the guitar and writing songs. And those conceptuals don't help. I'm convinced they're doing your head in, you know.' I enjoy them, man. 'Are you writing one today?' Yeah. No. 570. After lunch, and into the evening. 'Well, you certainly like to get a-ROUND, don't you?' I certainly do!

Right. I'm listening to Consider Yourself from Oliver! on repeat. I love this song!

Oh, I finished my eleventh song yesterday, reader(s). [Not eleventh song ever, silly(s)! I mean eleventh decent song that I'm saving. 'For posterity, like.' Whatever.] I reckon it might be my best song. 'Will it be on the demo?' Maybe, Voice. But it means I've got three songs to record now, and before Christmas, hopefully. I remember I ruined the 2012 Christmas holiday by trying to record My Heart, a song that has now been scrapped. 'And what happened to Gilly, Gilly, boss?' Ha! Scrapped, too. 'Gillian Tett won't like that!' Tough! I've got to be ruthless when it comes to my art, man.

Right. What else? 'Brexit?' Fuck off! Seriously. It looked like we were getting a super-soft Brexit last week, but now it's all up in the air again. I just don't want to think about it no more. END.

Okay, okay. That Lionel Bart was a character. Apparently, in the Sixties he had a big urn inside his front door full of fifty and twenty pound notes, and guests could just help themselves. 'Ha! No wonder he ended his days living above a chip shop in Acton.' Yes, but ... he still had a couple of million stashed away, by all accounts. I think that was down to Cameron Mackintosh giving him a small percentage on the revival of Oliver! ... when he didn't need to, because Bart had sold the rights to the musical, amazingly.

What's Bitcoin doing at the moment? 'That's finance, Mikey!' Yes, I know, but I'm just wondering ...

Right. Okay. Laters, yeah?

Thursday, 7 December 2017

Coutts yet again

But I don't mind. 'Live and let live, boss!' Yeah, maybe. / They've got something to say about Bitcoin. 'What about Mikeycoin?' Er, nothing about that, Voice. 'Oh.' I don't think they're in the loop with recent developments. It doesn't matter. / Anyway ...

Is Bitcoin part of a tech bubble?

Bitcoin was all over the place this week - and not just in the media. It reached an all-time high by breaking through the $11,000 mark but then fell by 20%. Its sharp rise brought back memories of the dotcom bubble back at the turn of the century, and Bank of England deputy governor Sir Jon Cunliffe has said investors should "do their homework" if considering it.

Our view at Coutts is that, as an investment asset, electronic currencies like Bitcoin have nothing but sentiment backing them up, are vulnerable to government sanctions and lack the kind of data we look for to gauge value. We therefore have no current plans to include them in our investment strategy.

In our view the development of blockchain technology, which sits behind so-called 'cryptocurrencies' like Bitcoin, is a far more interesting area to watch. This new technology has the potential to disrupt any field where there's the need for secure, transferable records.


Okay, okay. [$11,000? It's higher now.] There's a bit more of these Coutts on Bitcoin, but ... I tell you what, dear reader(s). 'What, boss? Tell me!' Well, what about that treasure in the rubbish tip? 'Eh?' Real treasure I'm talking about. 'Yeah?' Yeah. Big time. Listen. Some guy, years ago, bought £7,500 worth of Bitcoin, and then he threw his laptop away, containing the treasure, right? 'What fucking treasure?!' Christ! The Bitcoins, man! Because they are treasure now. They're worth £75 million and they're in some rubbish tip somewhere, but this guy's local council won't let him go through all the rubbish to find the laptop. 'Ha!' It's a sad story, Voice, reader(s). But if it were my laptop and my bitcoins ... 'What?' Well, just imagine. I wouldn't be crying in my beer every night. Let's put it that way.

Okay, okay. There's, uh ... some ECB stuff. I ain't interested in that. 'What about oil production, boss?' Yeah, all right.

Oil production to stay slow next year

The Opec group of energy producers met in Vienna and agreed to extend its oil production cuts until the end of next year to further bolster prices.

Since production cuts began in January, the price of a barrel of Brent crude oil has risen from about $50 last year to more than $60 today. Market reaction was muted as the decision to extend production cuts was widely anticipated.

At Coutts we are broadly neutral on oil and still see oversupply as an issue - although demand has been strong because of synchronized growth across major economies.


And that's it, blog fans! No endorsements or recommendations, of course. 'Thanks, Coutts!' Yes, thank you, Coutts.

...

Anything else? Well, it's the end of the week. 'Brilliant!' Oh, just one more thing, other news, like: The Conservatives are now blaming disabled people for low productivity in the economy, which is what you would expect from conservatives, seeing as they're such lovely people and everything. 'So it's not news really.' No.

Have a nice weekend, alligator(s)! 'Laters!' Bye.

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

[No. 569] Black hole

Beyond the THREE. It could be.

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

The last Jinksy post!

Yeah, this is the last one. I've been doing too many, I know. But it's Christmas, and I'm feeling a bit sorry for him. 'Why, boss?! Why are you feeling sorry for our Jinksy?' Well, he's changed the name of the company again, back to ParcelCompare, and he's ranting and raging about traffic wardens and Scrooge now. 'Oh dear.' He's in a very confused state, Voice. 'Ha! Let's hope he's not hearing voices.' Er, he's not a shaman of any sort, Voice, so, no, I don't imagine he will be hearing voices. 'Okay.' Okay. Right. Let's do this!

As parking fines hit new records, the parcel booking expert ParcelCompare is calling on Scrooge-like councils to discover the spirit of Christmas and allow more time for deliveries. It says rising fines could push up the cost of Christmas deliveries for businesses and consumers.

New figures show UK councils have made a record £819 million from parking operations: 10% higher than last year. And many of these will have been for parking tickets issued against the UK's hard-pressed delivery drivers, says the discount parcel booking site ParcelCompare, which is calling for a truce on this 'stealth business tax' this Christmas.


Well, it's the way things are going, man. Everybody is trying to squeeze the last penny out of everyone else BECAUSE the fucking world is going down the fucking toilet. The oceans are a plastic mess, animals are becoming extinct, there's illegal levels of pollution everywhere, people are on zero hours contracts, the NHS is collapsing, Brexit is a disaster, welfare is - 'Boss, that's enough already! You're depressing the readers!' Oh, sorry. Sorry. I don't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. Heaven forbid! There'll be no tigers or elephants, but you enjoy your Christmas, reader(s), which may be the last one if there's a nuclear war next year. FFS! / Anyway ...

Says ParcelCompare's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT: "Parking charges and penalty fines accounted for an eye-watering £1.582 billion across the 353 local authorities. Westminster scooped the most, up 31 per cent on the previous year, bringing in a total of £73.2 million. That's because lorry and van drivers are five times more likely to get a parking fine in London than elsewhere in the country. The sad thing is Scrooge-like council's actions will result in missed or delayed deliveries as drivers rush to leave a space - and increased delivery costs for everyone as companies struggle to cover the cost of ever-increasing fines."

Okay, okay. 'Right.' Yes. Then he talks some more and finishes with a plea for common sense ...

Asks David: "What happens when a driver is delivering bulky or fragile materials a little way away, or delayed due to paper work requirements? Let's have a little more common sense this Christmas."

Ah, let's just cancel Christmas. Seriously. I mean, these lorry and van drivers are ... never mind. I can't be bothered.

...

Anything else? No. Laters.

Tuesday, 5 December 2017

M&A stuff

I should have done this post yesterday. 'Oh, you should have done this post yesterday, boss.' Yes, I just said that, you idiot! 'Okay.' Christ! Instead of the Amazon treasure thing ... / Anyway ...

Consulting firm M&A transactions set to rise, with sector convergence and 'dry powder' driving increased competition.

What on earth is dry powder?! Never mind. I guess they'll tell us at some point.

Equiteq's 2017 global survey of buyers of knowledge-intensive services businesses found an increasing appetite for transactions, with buyers expecting to initiate on average 10 acquisitions each over the next three years.

Well, good for them. Buyers, eh? 'It's just the way they are, boss. Buyers are always buying. Players are always playing. Dreamers are -' Thank you, Voice. That's enough.

IT services and management consulting companies expect to be the most prolific acquirers, initiating close to 12 acquisitions on average. The average size of targets is also expected to increase in 2018, with optimal revenues of targets rising by over 50% to $62.6m.

How do they know all this?! 'They did a survey, boss.' Yeah, yeah. It's basically fortune-telling, ain't it? 'Er ... not really, no.' Shut up!

The annual, independently conducted survey of Management consulting, IT consulting, Media and Marketing, Engineering consulting and HR consulting buyers found that market convergence continues to be a key trend as buyers look to diversify.

Okay, okay. Now, I'm sure Mr Jorgenson has got something he wants to say. 'Ha! Our Dave? Just you try shutting him up, boss. Of course he's got something he wants to say!' All right, Voice, all right. Jesus H. - !

David Jorgenson, CEO, Equiteq, comments: "This continued convergence across consulting segments means that although sellers can attract premium valuations for synergies, they are less likely to come across their optimal buyer in the normal course of their business."

Well, well. Right, there's more, uh ... stuff, and then David adds. 'Let him add!' Oh, I will. But I'm not going through all the other stuff. I'm not in the mood. It's nearly Christmas.

Jorgenson adds: "This year we organized our survey to identify specific buyer behaviours in each of the eight levers of our core assessment of firm quality, the Equity Growth Wheel. It was clear from the research findings that many sellers are missing out on premium valuations by not positioning their businesses to be aligned most effectively with the needs of buyers."

Oh, they're calling him Jorgenson now, not Mr Jorgenson. 'Our Dave.' It should be Mr Jorgenson to show respect, or our Dave to show affection. I'm not impressed by this "Jorgenson" business at all. Who wrote this bloody email?!

Never mind. Let's move on ...

No, let's not, actually. 'Brexit?' Get lost! Seriously. 'Okay.' I'm not doing Brexit. FFS!

Laters.