Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Mark Black is doing all right with this Raveneur thing of his

What "Raveneur" thing you're probably wondering, eh, dear reader(s)? ('Ha! What's the matter with them, boss?') Well, there's no need to get upset. Dry your eyes. It's a hedge fund, Raveneur Investment Group, that's all. It's completely harmless. / The word on the grapevine (or street or whatever) is that Raveneur has been given hundreds of millions of dollars in seed capital. Blackstone Group has given the fund $200 million, and PAAMCO!!! has given $150 million. Not only that, BUT(!) ... I've had a whip-round in the pub. I got £13.27 off the lads. I'll be sending it over to Mark Black forthwith, as they say. ('If you don't spend it on some new guitar strings first.' Shut up. 'What lads, anyway?' Oh, just some Roundheads. 'Ghosts?' Yeah.) / ... / By the way, Raveneur is going to soft close at $1 billion, roughly. I think Mark has put $57.65 of his own money into the fund, so ... still some way to go. Obviously, I wish Mark and everyone involved the best of luck. 'So do I!' We need more hedge funds in this world.

Mark Black is a funny one though. He doesn't like talking to journalists for some reason. 'What's funny about that, man?' Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm merely making conversation. 'Does he like getting a-ROUND?' Time will tell, Voice. Time will tell.

...

Anything else? Er ... I'm listening to Pink Floyd. Mainly for David Gilmour's guitar playing. / Gilmour and Jimmy Page say they don't know any guitar scales, much. They just play what sounds right, I suppose. I'm not going to overdo the scales. All you really need is the blues scale, and the major and minor pentatonic scales. All three scales are pretty much the same as well, except for the odd extra note. It's not rocket science, man.

Lunch? Er ... / Cheese and tomato sandwich from Morrisons, only £1. My favourite sandwich! And crisps, yoghurt, Coke. I haven't given up the Coke yet. ('Your teeth, Mikey! Think of your teeth!') I'm addicted, son. (What are you doing in those bloody brackets again, Voice?) Never mind. There are worse things to be addicted to.

Well ... laters, reader(s). I'll see you and Mark Black a-ROUND, yeah? 'After lunch?' Yeah, after lunch, yeah.

Monday, 29 September 2014

Chase Coleman wants even more money!

Unbelievable! I mean, I can't ... Chase has already had $1.5 billion out of investors. 'Lucky git.' Now he wants another $1.5 billion ... oh, for his hedge fund, obviously, Tyger Global Management. 'Christ! What's the deal with this guy, Mikey?' I don't know, man. I really don't know. / Is Charles Payson "Chase Me" Coleman III absolutely money mad? I tried speaking to him on the phone, you know, dear reader(s). All I got out of him was pure gibberish. 'Why? What did he say?' Well, he kept quoting William Blake at me, Voice. 'Really?' Yeah, like ... that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, I really love your tyger light. 'Ha!' And ... that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I really love your tyger feet. 'Oh, he sounds crazy, boss. Insane! / And he seriously expects investors to stump up another $1.5 billion?!' Well, if Chase is getting results ... I don't know. This is the world today, man. There's nothing we can do about it.

...

Anything else? Er ... I'm listening to a blues compilation. All the old greats from years ago. Every sweet married woman, she's got a back door friend. Ain't that the truth. / Leonard Cohen has a new album out. Cohen is eighty now, which gives me hope. I mean, I'm hoping I'll be able to record my demo before I reach eighty.

Er ... / In the Sun today, Cameron says he's not going to apologize for being posh. Trust him to miss the point. Decent folk are attacking Cameron because ... he only cares for other posh people in our society. Do you know what I mean? If you didn't go to school with Dave, you can fuck off down the food bank.

UKIP are a joke too. How are an assortment of ultra-Tories supposed to represent the interests of the common man and woman in the street? / Having said that, get rich or die tryin', yeah? I'm afraid it's the only thing that makes sense in the world today. Just ask Chase.

And if you can't get rich, get blue, you dig? Get your guitar out and let it all hang out ...

Richard Plackett is returning to BlackRock!

Christ. Jesus. I've been looking through my archive, reader(s) ... / Our Richie was a shaman, you know? I never knew (well, I did) but he knew the desert. Years went by. Richie popped up in my consciousness again. 'Like a bad penny, boss.' I wouldn't say that, Voice. / Oh yes, he popped up ... again, in March of this year. He wanted a sabbatical - of all things. 'Ha!' No one knew what he would be doing. 'But we knew!' Yes, we knew. We arranged it. For the last six months Richie has been getting a-ROUND, No. 199. 'So ... DIZZY!' Now, we've released him. He's returning to BlackRock next month - a new man!

Well, I have been speaking to our Richie, and this is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, I'm a new man, thanks to you. (Yeah. The funny thing, Richie, is that six months ago I thought I was dealing with you for the first time. I had forgotten that you'd been a financial shaman for years.) Don't worry about it. I was never a big player. Just one of the little guys. Why should you remember one of the little guys in the world of mystical capitalism? (I still feel bad about it though. / How was your sabbatical?) Wild, man. Totally wild. If someone had told me six months ago ... "Richie, you'll be spending the next six months spinning a-ROUND inside one of Mikey Fowke's conceptual posts," I would have said they were insane, utterly insane. (Yeah. But you've done it, son. How do you think it compares to the desert?) What?! It pisses all over the desert, man. Like a lot of shamans, I was pretty upset when you shut down the desert. We thought you had lost it, frankly. Now we realize you were only moving on to greater glories. You're a genius, Mr Fowke. (Thanks, Richie. That means a lot.) I just hope I can keep my head straight at BlackRock. I'll be managing the UK Special Situations fund again, with Roland Arnold. (What's he like?) Bit of a square. Nice guy, of course. However, I won't be telling him about the conceptual shit.'

Well, well, well ... eh? Another success for the world's foremost financial shaman!

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Christopher Rokos?

Er ... Chris Rokos? Oh, God. I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I'm absolutely knackered, yeah? I'm writing this blog, living my life, squeezing in my guitar playing whenever I can, so ... / At least I can go to the pub tomorrow, down by the river. I haven't seen Oliver Cromwell's ghost yet. He used to drink in this pub, no shit. (When he was alive, of course. The ghost wasn't drinking in the pub. Imagine that!) / So, er, Chris Rokos? 'Come on, boss!' Right. Let's get this done, quickly. Mr Rokos used to be a partner at Brevan Howard - a founding partner, believe it or not. 'Ha!' (It's not funny.) But he left with a non-compete agreement, you see. 'Oh, big mistake, Mikey! Why did he sign it?' He wasn't thinking straight, man, I suppose. 'Bloody hell. Fool! Educated at Oxford, was he?' MA, Mathematics. 'Ha!' / The problem is, he runs a family office now ... you know, with his mum and dad and aunts and uncles helping out, however - 'They're cramping his style, yeah?' Yes. That's exactly what they're doing. Chris wants to get away from all that family crap and start a proper hedge fund. 'And Brevan Howard won't let him? Christ!' It's a cruel world, Voice. There's going to be a court case next year. It's been delayed.

...

Well, I hope it all works out. I really don't know who's right and who's wrong. I just hate to see people fighting. We need to make love not war, you dig?

Anyway, that's it for this week. Laters.

[No. 254] Max Keiser is a-ROUND

He's got to be somewhere ...

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

Who on earth is Tineke Frikkee?!

Well, she's a girl, and she manages a fund. Is there anything else you need to know, dear reader(s)? 'They want more than that, boss.' All right. Tineke manages a fund for Smith & Williamson. The UK Equity Income Trust. She's only managing £8 million now. Nothing like the billions she used to manage at Newton Investment Management. But she don't care! 'Why?! Why don't she care, Mikey?' She don't care, Voice, because at Smith & Williamson they leave her alone to do her own thing. 'Oh. Were they disciplined at Newton, then?' You bet your ass they were, boy. 'I don't have an ass. I don't have a body, man.' Let's not get into that now. The point I'm making is, our Tineke is a free spirit. If I were still taking on financial shamans, she would make a pretty good one. She doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, you dig? And she wants some excitement! She wants to feel alive! Merely delivering a dividend? Forget about it. That's for squares, man. Tineke is the sort of chick that gets her kicks finding a balance between capital gains and an interesting yield.

...

And Smith & Williamson? Er ... I've only written about the firm once before, when the lost soul Philip Lawlor joined them. This is from their website: Our prime aim is to help our clients achieve their ambitions, both corporate and personal. Our clients are varied - private individuals, mid-large businesses, professional practices and non-profit organizations. / 'Impressive, Mikey. I particularly like the "personal" bit.' So do I. There aren't many financial firms that will help you learn the guitar. 'Eh?' Well, it doesn't have to be the guitar, Voice. It can be anything. Any personal ambition you've got, they'll help you with it. A totally free service as well, surprisingly. 'Are they crazy?!' They're just really nice people, man. Not everyone who works in finance is a monster, you know.

...

And in other news? Er ... maybe later, reader(s), tonight, yeah? / Oh, I've been watching Max Keiser a lot more lately, on RT. I actually think he might be the best financial journalist around. I don't know if he's saying the things that Putin wants him to say, but he seems to be telling the TRUTH(!) about the world - as far as I know or can imagine (the truth). He doesn't have three chords though. He doesn't have a guitar. Never mind. The TRUTH(!) is enough ... !

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

[No. 253] Good things take time

But do they take forever?

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

Hal Lehr is launching Aithon Capital - at last!

Oh, but not yet. No. Next January. Yeah, January next year he promises to launch his hedge fund. 'Ha!' He's just like me with my demo. We all know how life is. It's easy to get confused. It's easy to get stuck in the jam of disgusting reality. Hal was going to launch Aithon Capital a couple of years ago. I was going to record my songs a couple of years ago. However, there is a time for everything, as the Preacher knew. I've been improving my guitar skills, and Hal has ... been watching the markets, I suppose. Up and down. I don't know. Frankly, it's none of my business. And it's none of your business, dear reader(s). 'Slags!' (Yes, thank you, Voice.) Hal will get his shit together eventually. If not January next year, then January the year after. What's the rush? Good things take time. I played my guitar for four hours yesterday! I'm making progress. Hal's making progress. Everyone calm down, please. Hal and I will be ready when we're ready.

Er ... / Hal Lehr, by the way, used to be a trader at Deutsche Bank and Soros Fund Management. 'Great!' Don't bother looking for his LinkedIn profile though because it's a joke. I doubt he set it up. It just says ... hal lehr - United States. 'Oh, for fuck's sake, Mikey!' I know. Not even capitals for his name. And only three connections. 'Ha! Who are the schnooks who connected with him?' I don't know, man. It doesn't bear thinking about, does it?

...

Anything else? Not really. / I've got a cheese sandwich for lunch. But I guess you knew that already.

Politics? ... / David Cameron and the purring queen? Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. I'm disgusted. / Er ... Ed Miliband's speech was all right yesterday. Not amazing though. / Apparently, the minimum wage will be £8 an hour ... in 2020 ... so, it'll be worth less than it is now. / This country is in a right mess. Germany was bombed to shit by the end of the Second World War. And we're ...

Jesus! / I can't even play my guitar today, much. I've got a conceptual to write, No. 253. I'll play a bit, lunchtime and tonight. Yeah. / I've got to keep the dream alive, you dig?

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Whistleblower gets $30 million from the SEC!

Not bad, is it? '$30 million, Mikey! Did he win the lottery?' No. Open your ears, Voice. 'I haven't got any ears, man.' Christ. He or she, I mean the whistleblower, was given $30 million by the Securities and Exchange Commission in America. 'For what?!' For supplying them with some information about a fraud. 'Oh, I get it. If you wanna squeal, said the SEC, we can make a deal, make it worth your while. So he told them all, and in return he got a credit card and a Thunderbird, and the maximum security even after plastic surgery. So, go on and squeal, said the SEC, we can make a deal, make it worth your while.' Well, I'm sure it wasn't quite like that, Voice. 'Who is this chivato, anyway?' I don't know. The SEC hasn't named the whistleblower.

But it's given me an idea. 'Really? What?' Well, we all know the whole world is totally corrupt, don't we? 'Yeah.' So, all I've got to do is let the SEC know. 'Eh?' Man, listen. I phone the SEC, right? 'Yeah.' And I tell whoever answers the phone: They're all at it, son. Everyone! Everyone in banking, in business, in politics. Everyone is corrupt. Now, give me money. 'Brilliant!' What about that, eh? Eh?! 'You're a genius, boss!' I know. I reckon they'll give me billions for that information. 'Everyone else in the world will get fined and go to prison though.' Er ... that's not my problem, man. Don't play with fire unless you want to get burned. 'Don't even be born, boss.' That's even better advice, Voice. / People have only got themselves to blame.

...

And in other news ... The FCA in our glorious Great Britain has fined Barclays £38 million for breaching City rules requiring clients' funds to be kept separate from the bank's own assets. 'Jesus!' / Do you see what I mean, dear reader(s)?

And that's why I'm going to be playing my guitar for the rest of the day. Playing the guitar is a lot like joining the French Foreign Legion. You can just forget the world.

Monday, 22 September 2014

Chandler Blockage and other top traders have left Point72 Asset Management

Well, well, well ... / I was wrong about Chandler Blockage. It seems he does actually exist. He's not some shadowy monster from the darkest night. He's a genuine human being. My apologies to Chandler, his family, and friends.

Anyway, let's move on, yeah? / Our Chandler and other top traders (Anthony Chedid, Ted Orenstein, Tom Rabolli, Tim Schneider, Petey Avellone, and Shoney Katz) have left Stevie's Point72 Asset Management. Why?! ('No need for the exclamation mark, boss.') Well, this is just a theory of mine ... I think they miss the excitement of the old days. The thing is - as I've mentioned before - Stevie don't want anyone doing nothing no more. He don't want the heat coming down on him. He just wants a quiet life now. And I don't blame him! Stevie has had enough excitement for one lifetime. / I bet he's secretly relieved that the wild boys have left ...

[By the way, Shoney Katz? What a cool fucking name! Hi, I'm Shoney Katz. Brilliant!]

...

Anything else? Well ...

Music?! ('No need for the exclamation mark, boss.') I'm listening to John Mayall's Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton. I'm going to put the Layla album on in a minute. / Me? Er ... I'm making decent progress with my guitar playing, man. I'm on target for the Gallagher/Cobain level by Christmas. However, next year I'll want to go further. Ideally, I'd like to reach the David Gilmour level. He's not a total wizard like Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Prince, those types ... but he's a classy player and a cut above most guitarists. (Listen to him at the end of Comfortably Numb.)

Lunch? (No exclamation mark. Are you happy now, Voice?) I haven't been to the shop yet. I'm seriously considering purchasing a cheese sandwich. No surprises. I don't care.

Politics?!?! Do we have to? All right. / David "Longshanks" Cameron is trying to weasel out of the promise he made to the Scots last week. Christ! What a prime minister, eh?! If he ... / Oh, I can't be bothered. Life's too short.

...

Key to the Highway. That's my favourite track on Layla. It's a cover. I like it for the guitar playing, obviously.