Monday, 8 February 2016

[No. 388] "What is actually beyond the THREE?"

Ha! Oh, you don't want to know. Believe me.

And FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[1], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![2], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[2], and it will be worth it ...[1], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[1], and it will be worth it ...[2], and is God jealous?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[2], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[1], and is God jealous?[2], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[1], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[2], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[1], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[2], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[1], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[1], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[2], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[2], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[1], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[2], and ... stay positive, yeah?[1], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[2], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[1], and ... stay positive, yeah?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[1], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[2], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![1], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[2], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[1], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![2], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[2], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[3], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[3], and it will be worth it ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[3], and is God jealous?[3], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[3], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[3], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[3], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[3], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[3], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[3], and ... stay positive, yeah?[3], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[3], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[3], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[3], and

And FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[1], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![2], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[2], and it will be worth it ...[1], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[1], and it will be worth it ...[2], and is God jealous?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[2], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[1], and is God jealous?[2], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[1], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[2], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[1], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[2], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[1], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[1], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[2], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[2], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[1], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[2], and ... stay positive, yeah?[1], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[2], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[1], and ... stay positive, yeah?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[1], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[2], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![1], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[2], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[1], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![2], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[2], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[3], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[3], and it will be worth it ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[3], and is God jealous?[3], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[3], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[3], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[3], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[3], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[3], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[3], and ... stay positive, yeah?[3], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[3], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[3], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[3], and

And FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[1], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![2], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[1], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[2], and it will be worth it ...[1], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[1], and it will be worth it ...[2], and is God jealous?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[2], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[1], and is God jealous?[2], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[1], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[2], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[1], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[2], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[1], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[1], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[2], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[2], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[1], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[2], and ... stay positive, yeah?[1], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[2], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[1], and ... stay positive, yeah?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[1], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[2], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![1], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[2], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[1], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![2], and FOOLS(!) go beyond while ... wise men stay behind like boring idiots - ? / Man, I don't know![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[2], and why are YOU(!) asking me?[3], and if I knew, would I tell you? / It's the greatest prize, the biggest thrill, a cosmic mind-blowing experience, a ...[3], and it will be worth it ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Ladies and gentlemen, the THREE is this way[3], and is God jealous?[3], and you can take the NEW SALVATION - or leave it ...[3], and bigger than any fucking rainbow, man, life beyond the THREE ain't begging you for anything[3], and oh get beyond, one, and oh get beyond, two, and oh get beyond, three ...[3], and DIZZY(!) is the new HAPPY(!)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / It's a swirling heaven that could be hell for some[3], and are YOU(!) scared? / Oh, I think you are / I know you like to act big, but ...[3], and a will of iron is needed - and you ain't no Caesar, and you ain't no Napoleon, my friend(s)[3], and ... stay positive, yeah?[3], and CHAOS - ? I decide! / I say it's true, so it's true, and I say it's real, so it's real[3], and maybe, just maybe ... DIZZY(!) is enough - ?[3], and we can still have fun away from the evil SQUARES / oh, they don't know what they're missing![3], and a-ROUND is the way for the modern shaman ...[3], and

Ray Dalio? Greg Jensen? A feud - ?!?!

A feud? No, dear reader(s), you don't want to believe everything you read. There's no serious problem with Ray Dalio and Greg Jensen at Bridgewater Associates. They're great colleagues and the best of friends. It's all sensationalistic mischaracterization. That's what it is, man. I mean, if you've been reading shit in other unreliable places. Sure, Ray and Greg have arguments. Who doesn't? 'They're like us, boss.' Of course they are! 'They're cosmic twins, boss. Like us!' Well, yeah, I suppose.

What's this "feud" all about then? Oh, Christ! It's no big deal, you know? Both of these guys are shamans. (Ray didn't used to be. But he's come over to my way of thinking - and feeling.) Basically, Ray and Greg have taken an interest in getting a-ROUND. Yes, conceptual stuff. And Ray wants to spend all of his time now trying to get beyond the THREE, and he wants Greg to join him. 'Ha!' However, Greg thinks this is a mistake. He thinks it will harm the business. Greg wants to do it as something on the side, as a sort of hobby. 'Who's right and who's wrong, boss?' They both are, Voice. 'Eh?' Well, it all depends on what they want out of life. Personally, I think the attempt to get beyond the THREE is the greatest and most important thing any shaman can be involved in at the present time. It's the biggest challenge of the age. 'Oh, okay.' But business will suffer. Greg is worried they'll lose money, and he's right. So ... I don't know what to suggest.

Let's just forget about it!

...

Anything else? Oh, there's always something else, sweet reader(s) o' mine. Music? I've been listening to Guns N' Roses this morning. The most dangerous band in the world, by all accounts. / My music? I've changed my mind about writing long Dylan-style songs. So many of them are overblown. You can say just as much with a short, concentrated lyric - and a nice melody to carry the whole thing along. Besides, the times they have a-changed. I don't think people go for "epic" songs any more. And look at Kurt Cobain. He built a massive reputation from small, powerful songs. And Lennon was the same. / As you know, I had a six-minute song planned, to be crammed full of words, no instrumental breaks. But then this weekend I thought to myself: What the fuck am I going to sing about for six minutes? It's all bollocks, man.

Friday, 5 February 2016

Amber Davis? Warner/Chappell Music UK? Well ...

Ha! ... will we never know we ever know, eh?!
Warner/Chappell in the UK ... !
                            Oh, we've got a new song - It's Just a Joke, Man   
      Revolution? Well ...
Possibly ...           
strange, I feel,  really feel ...
because you see it's all about songs - well,

It should be ..
       as if our Amber will roll ...
    I mean, here
BOLD as brass

Creative Director A&R, so ...
   But it's all BANG! CRASH uh ... BOOM at the moment, not me!
      Strumming the guitar like it's gone out of fashion,
       But it don't matter, man! Believe in the song, er, everyone, and imagine a smooth orchestra, if you can. STRINGS!!! PLEASE!!!
                     Imagine Tony Bennett or Michael Buble singing You're Lying, no?  OH YEAH!!!

Cats will dig it ...

BECAUSE it's a crooner's torch song, a new standard for the future, like the past. GENUINE PAIN WAS IN MY EYES!!! I wouldn't lie ...

         And ... She Loves Me - ? A pop song ... poppy song for poppy people.         Why the hell not?!

Hugo Turquet at BMG - ?!

Ha! ... we will never know, BMG in the UK ... !
                            Oh, we've got a new song - It's Just a Joke, Man   
      Revolution? Well ...
            strange, really, 
because you see it's all about songs - well,

It should be ..
       as if our Hugo will care
    I mean, here
BOLD as brass

Vice President A&R, so ...
   But it's all BANG! CRASH uh ... BOOM at the moment, not me!
      Strumming the guitar like it's gone out of fashion,
       But it don't matter, son! Believe in the song, man, and imagine a lovely orchestra, if you can. STRINGS!!! PLEASE!!!
                     Imagine Tony Bennett or Michael Buble singing You're Lying, no?  OH YEAH!!!

Cats will dig it ...

BECAUSE it's a crooner's torch song, a new standard for the future. GENUINE TEARS FELL FROM MY EYES!!! I wouldn't lie ... I'm so honest! Honestly ...

And She Loves Me - ? A poppy song, yes! Everyone has got to have their FUN(!) ... oh, I'm sure you remember fun ...

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Orange Capital is closing

Yes, Orange Capital is closing, reader(s), over in New York*, after ten years. 'Tangerine Nightmare, boss?' No. Orange Capital. Open your ears. 'I ain't got no ears, man. At least, not physical ears.' Shut up! I'm not in the mood, Voice.

Orange Capital, LLC is an alternative asset manager serving global institutional clients. The firm manages a concentrated portfolio of securities with minimal use of leverage. By focusing on event-driven opportunities, Orange Capital aims to generate superior returns that are idiosyncratic and uncorrelated to the overall markets.

The way it was. The way they were. / Well, it's a bad time for all hedge funds. Lack of liquidity, ain't it? Orange Capital will be returning $1 billion to investors. I'm sure Danny and Russell will be all right. 'Who?!' The founders, man, the founders! Don't you know this shit? You're my intern. 'Intern? Ha! / I still haven't been paid, reader(s).' Christ! When I get some money, Voice, you'll get some. Now leave it alone! Please!


*Obviously, if you're reading this in New York, it won't be over anywhere, because you and the hedge fund are both in New York. Just use your common sense, yeah? I shouldn't have to explain every single fucking thing in my blog.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to The Jesus and Mary Chain, Automatic. 'I've seen that album cover somewhere before.' Of course you have, man. Bowie ripped it off for his Blackstar.

Er ... music? My music? I've decided to rewrite my old song, My Heart. I'm going to change the lyrics a bit and add a whole new verse. It'll be a bigger song then. It needs to be a bigger song, you dig?

Well, well ... / The Jesus and Mary Chain? Oh, they should have been massive. I read somewhere their record company was expecting them to be like U2. But it never happened. Maybe they didn't want it. The Reid brothers aren't the sort who play the game, if you know what I mean. / By the way, my maths teacher at school said he went to their early concerts. You know, the ones with the riots? I always thought that was a bit strange.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Mark Barker launches Strategic Capital Fund with investment from Santander UK Group Pension Scheme

Yeah, our Mark. He's, er, ex-Hermes BPK founder, apparently. Oh, it's the Wednesday night PR email, back by popular demand. 'You've already done it, boss.' No I haven't, idiot! / Sorry, dear reader(s), I can't get the staff, as you know.

Strategic Capital Investors (SCI) has announced the launch of a new accelerator fund, Strategic Capital Fund (the "Fund"), with an initial commitment to provide up to $125m from the £9.5bn Common Fund of the Santander UK Group Pension Scheme.

Ha! The "Fund". I love that!

The objective of the Fund is the placement of long term accelerator capital with early stage and growing systematic managers to establish critical mass to support rapid future development. In return, the Fund, a Luxembourg SIF, will participate in those managers' revenue streams for a fixed period.

Nice one.

Director of Pensions at Santander UK and CIO of the multi-award winning Common Fund, Antony Barker (no relation), said his group was pleased to -

Oh, hang on! What's this? No relation?! Are we expected to believe that? 'Ha! Mark has got his whole family involved. That Antony is probably his brother. Uncle Harry and Aunt Pauline will be coming out of the woodwork next! He's taking the piss, Mikey!'

Ah, that's enough! I'm not writing about the man's WHOLE FAMILY, for Christ's sake! Obviously, I wish Mark all the best, but ... do you know what I mean?

...

Anything else? The end of another week? Er ... not quite. I wish it were, but I'll be back tomorrow morning, for my sins, with one more post. Laters.

[No. 387] State Street's GX Private Equity Index drops in third quarter of 2015 for the first time in three years!

Yes, it's the Wednesday afternoon/evening PR email, back by popular demand. And in conceptual form! Wow! Eh?

And this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[1], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[2], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[2], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[1], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[2], and ... JESUS!!![1], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[2], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[1], and ... JESUS!!![2], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![1], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[2], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![1], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![2], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[1], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![2], and I'll never be surprised ...[1], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[2], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![1], and I'll never be surprised ...[2], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[1], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![2], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[1], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[2], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[1], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[2], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![1], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[2], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![2], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[3], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[3], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[3], and ... JESUS!!![3], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[3], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![3], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![3], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[3], and I'll never be surprised ...[3], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![3], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[3], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[3], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![3], and

And this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[1], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[2], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[2], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[1], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[2], and ... JESUS!!![1], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[2], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[1], and ... JESUS!!![2], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![1], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[2], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![1], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![2], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[1], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![2], and I'll never be surprised ...[1], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[2], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![1], and I'll never be surprised ...[2], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[1], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![2], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[1], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[2], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[1], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[2], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![1], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[2], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![2], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[3], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[3], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[3], and ... JESUS!!![3], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[3], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![3], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![3], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[3], and I'll never be surprised ...[3], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![3], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[3], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[3], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![3], and

And this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[1], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[2], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[1], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[2], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[1], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[2], and ... JESUS!!![1], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[2], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[1], and ... JESUS!!![2], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![1], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[2], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![1], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![2], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[1], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![2], and I'll never be surprised ...[1], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[2], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![1], and I'll never be surprised ...[2], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[1], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![2], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[1], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[2], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[1], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[2], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![1], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[2], and this makes a nice change for the PR freaks ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![2], and we're talking about an overall return of -1.37 percent for Q3 2015, so ... oh, I wouldn't worry about it[3], and some people worry about all kinds of stupid shit, man ...[3], and all I can say is: The sun is shining, a little bit / It is winter, you know ... or have you forgotten?[3], and ... JESUS!!![3], and the third quarter marks an abrupt end to an uninterrupted, twelve-quarter streak of positive returns, well ...[3], and the ... MARY CHAIN!!![3], and I know ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, so DIZZY(!) ... you don't really care, my little kooks, ha![3], and it's no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause no surprise that the private equity market is taking a pause[3], and I'll never be surprised ...[3], and quite a few institutional investors globally expect their allocations to private equity to increase over the next five years, so cheer up![3], and here she comes, and here she comes, and here she comes ... I can see her coming a lifetime off[3], and State Street is one of the world's leading providers of financial services to institutional investors ...[3], and oh, oh, oh ... what can you say? / The THREE is somewhere that way ...[3], and ... OH YEAH!!! / It's her way of praying![3], and

Marc Lipschultz? Owl Rock Capital?

Well, well ... / This is exciting news! Marc Lipschultz is a top executive at KKR. Oh, you don't believe me?! Okay ...

Marc Lipschultz (New York) joined KKR in 1995 and is the Global Head of KKR's Energy and Infrastructure business. Mr. Lipschultz currently serves as a member of KKR's Infrastructure Investment Committee and the Energy Investment Committee.

You see? Top guy. Anyway, he'll be leaving KKR soon. 'Why, boss? Have they sacked him?' Don't be ridiculous, Voice! Marc is going to be starting a new private debt fund with his dear friend Doug Ostrover. 'Great! What will they be calling it?' Owl Rock Capital. 'That's interesting.' Yes, it is. What's more, I'm writing a song about it. 'Really?' Yes. I've only got one verse of the lyrics so far, and the tune. See what you think of this -

I remember when rock was young
Me and Dougie had so much fun
Holding hands and running funds
Had an old gold Chevy and a firm of my own
But the biggest kick I ever got
Was doing a thing called the Owl, er, Rock
While the other kids were rocking round the clock
We were hopping and bopping to the Owl, uh, Rock


'Er ...' What do you think, man? 'Well, it's all right. Nice melody.' I haven't finished it yet, Voice. Obviously, it needs some work. It's from the point of view of Mr Lipschultz, when he's retired one day, yeah? 'Oh, it's good. Yeah.'

...

Anything else? Not really. Well ... / On a more serious note, I've got to learn the lyrics to my new proper song. I keep forgetting them.

(Most of) ... this year I'm going to see if I can write a song a week. The latest one was written in eight days. I was pissing about for months with the other songs. / I want to get myself in a dominant position. It's no good writing a few great songs. I need loads of them, man! So no one can fuck with me, you dig? Oh, you understand ...

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Anne Richards is the new chief executive of M&G Investments!

Oh, that's all right. That's a pretty good job, that is, a big one. I'm sure our Anne will be able to handle it. She was the chief investment officer at Aberdeen Asset Management, you know. The global chief, I think. 'The cosmic chief, boss?' No, the global chief. 'Oh, that's a shame. Never mind.' It's still good, Voice. Not everyone gets to be a global chief, man. 'But you're the cosmic chief, Mikey, of all the financial shamans.' Ha! Well, I'm special, ain't I?

Now, I know what you're thinking, dear reader(s). You're thinking: Hang on a minute! Our Mikey is the world's foremost financial shaman. That's global. Yes, yes, but ... I have a lot of responsibilities on the astral plane, which is basically cosmic. 'You've stopped everyone from going on the astral plane.' Only for business, Voice. Deals and that. You can still go for spiritual development.

And there's more than finance to consider ... / I've been spending a lot of time lately with Jim Morrison of The Doors. 'Why, boss?' You know why, man. I'm getting my music together now. Jimmy is the top rock and roll shaman. I need his help and advice. 'What does he say?' Eh? Well ... he reckons I've got to break on through. 'Ha! You do that all the time!' Yeah, in finance. Not with music. I played my new song for him last night. He liked it. 'Good!' Yeah. / Yes, I've finished my song, reader(s). I've got to rehearse it and record it now. Hopefully, it'll be on my (other) blog within a week, probably in first position. 'Is it your best song, boss?' Maybe, Voice. / Gilly, Gilly is my weakest song. Removing that one and putting the new song on the demo will improve my chances a lot. It's still early days. Watch this space ... or, er, that space, over there.

Well, well ... / Oh, for those of you who don't know, Christ! ... M&G Investments is Prudential's investment arm. 'Of course.' But you really should know that, really, yeah? I have to say I'm a bit shocked. How long have you worked in finance? 'Go easy, boss! They could be mystic kooks or ... maybe financiers from a foreign land.' Ha! Financiers from a foreign land?! You make it sound so glamorous, so mysterious. They're just money people, son.

Monday, 1 February 2016

[No. 386] You don't want to think at all

You want to feel, son, daughter.

And I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[1], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[2], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[1], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![2], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[1], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![2], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[2], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[1], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[2], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[1], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[2], and here you are, so low ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[2], and don't live a lie[1], and here you are, so low ...[2], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![1], and don't live a lie[2], and empty mind, beautiful soul![1], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![2], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[1], and empty mind, beautiful soul![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[1], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[2], and what do you believe?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[2], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![1], and what do you believe?[2], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[1], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![2], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[1], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[2], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![1], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[2], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![2], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[3], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[3], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[3], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[3], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[3], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[3], and here you are, so low ...[3], and don't live a lie[3], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![3], and empty mind, beautiful soul![3], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[3], and what do you believe?[3], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![3], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[3], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![3], and

And I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[1], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[2], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[1], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![2], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[1], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![2], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[2], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[1], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[2], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[1], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[2], and here you are, so low ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[2], and don't live a lie[1], and here you are, so low ...[2], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![1], and don't live a lie[2], and empty mind, beautiful soul![1], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![2], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[1], and empty mind, beautiful soul![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[1], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[2], and what do you believe?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[2], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![1], and what do you believe?[2], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[1], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![2], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[1], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[2], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![1], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[2], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![2], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[3], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[3], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[3], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[3], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[3], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[3], and here you are, so low ...[3], and don't live a lie[3], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![3], and empty mind, beautiful soul![3], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[3], and what do you believe?[3], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![3], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[3], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![3], and

And I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[1], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[2], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![1], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[1], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![2], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[1], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![2], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[1], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[2], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[1], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[2], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[1], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[2], and here you are, so low ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[2], and don't live a lie[1], and here you are, so low ...[2], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![1], and don't live a lie[2], and empty mind, beautiful soul![1], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![2], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[1], and empty mind, beautiful soul![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[1], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[2], and what do you believe?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[2], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![1], and what do you believe?[2], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[1], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![2], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[1], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[2], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![1], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[2], and I've told YOU(!) ... yeah, enough times: thoughts will kill you, my little kook(s)[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![2], and ... well, make you very miserable, anyway[3], and it's feelings you need, like what I got - a whole COSMOS(!) of feelings, right out there, man![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just floating, you dig?[3], and I'm feeling I'm reeling on the ceiling ... ha![3], and a-ROUND ... I'm just dreaming, you dig? / Oh, don't tell me there ain't a better life[3], and these words - ? YOU(!) don't want them! / Are you sad? / Are you happy?[3], and what do you know about yourself, inside?[3], and if YOU(!) ... want to get beyond the THREE, thoughts won't get you there, believe me[3], and here you are, so low ...[3], and don't live a lie[3], and you should be naked with only TRUE(!) feelings, so high - up, up and away![3], and empty mind, beautiful soul![3], and, uh, you have a clue or two ... about life - ? ... Ha! / I hope you're not serious, my crazy spinner(s)[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes, so DIZZY(!) / Where were we?[3], and what do you believe?[3], and where will we be, when we're gone? / Christ! / Just GONE(!), GONE(!), GONE(!), baby![3], and tell me you don't believe ANYTHING[3], and a big problem is the things that people believe, and why / oh, they believe to support their personalities[3], and in the future - ? ... WOW! / ... / Anything is possible![3], and