Monday, 1 September 2014

What's this Blackstone Senfina Advisors thing?

Er ... / Well, it's a new hedge fund, an everlasting one, that Blackstone is setting up, and it's going to be filled with hedge fund superstars. Guys like David Briggs and Billal Sikander. 'Never heard of them, boss.' I've never heard of them either, Voice, but so what? I mean, what do we know? We're all rock and roll these days. 'Mikey, we've always been rock and roll - at heart.' Of course we have, man. We built this blog on rock and roll. 'God gave rock and roll to us!' Yes, He did. / However, er ... enough of that nonsense. It's only Monday morning, man. Let's concentrate on this ... Blackstone nonsense. 'Lay it on me, baby.' David Briggs used to work at Ziff Brothers (still does, if you believe LinkedIn). Billal Sikander used to work at Serengeti Asset Management (yeah, still does, if you believe LinkedIn). And there are loads of other guys. 'Like who?' Like, my little invisible friend ... Sasi Digavalli, Brian "Bugsy" Siegel, and Daniel Haff. 'Oh, right.' / Anyway, there's going to be loads of different trading teams at Senfina, and they're all going to be given $500 million - which I think is a nice touch. (I just hope that Blackstone has enough cash left over for our Jason.) 'That's a lot of money. / So, they're going to be in competition with each other, these teams?' Yeah. And the first prize is a Cadillac, man. 'Great!' The second prize is a set of steak knives. 'Oh.' And the third prize is ... there is no third prize. They get the sack. 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, boss.' Tell me about it! I'm just glad I'm not part of this world. Other-worldly, that's me.

Er ... / Well, I wish them all the best at Senfina. 'So do I!' Let's hope it is everlasting and not one of these hedge funds that are here today and gone tomorrow.

...

Er ... / Anything else, dear reader(s)? No, not really. I don't know what I'm having for lunch yet. I haven't been to the shop.

Er ... / Guitar? Yeah, I'm going to be playing my guitar today. That ain't news, man.


[There's no special reason why I've started every goddamn paragraph with "Er". Except this one.]

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Scopia Capital Management is being sued by some farmers in Texas

I don't know all the details. I don't want to know them, quite frankly. I mean, the whole thing sounds insane. Apparently, Scopia Capital has been accused of stealing a load of beans. (Or not paying for them. Same thing.) 'Beans?! Ha!' / Well, let the courts deal with it, over in America. It's nothing to do with me, and I've got different fish to fry. It's nearly the weekend, man, for Christ's sake! Cut me some slack.

Oh ... all right, all right, lovely reader(s). / For those of you who like extra details, who insist on them, I can tell YOU(!) something about Scopia Capital. It's an institutional alternative asset management firm based in New York with approximately $4 billion of assets under management. It was founded in 2001 by Matt Sirovich and Jeremy Mindich. The firm employs a fundamentals-based, value-driven long/short equity strategy with the discipline of market neutrality to generate absolute returns that are uncorrelated to the broader equity markets. / You see, I do know a thing or two. I'm not just some crazy rock and roller, you dig?

And the farmers? Well, they're just some cats from Texas. I don't know ... / I'd like to go to Texas one day, for a fandango ...

Anyway, have a nice weekend.

[No. 246] Adam Khanbhai, genuine human being, spinning a-ROUND, right now - and forever!

This is 2014.

And ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[1], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[2], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[2], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[1], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[2], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[1], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[2], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[1], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[2], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[1], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[2], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[1], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[2], and this is ... hard to say[1], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[2], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[1], and this is ... hard to say[2], and it's so easy to get confused[1], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[2], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![1], and it's so easy to get confused[2], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[1], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![2], and / Everyone better believe[1], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[1], and / Everyone better believe[2], and / just trust me, yeah?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[2], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[2], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[3], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[3], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[3], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[3], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[3], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[3], and this is ... hard to say[3], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[3], and it's so easy to get confused[3], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![3], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[3], and / Everyone better believe[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[3], and

And ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[1], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[2], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[2], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[1], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[2], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[1], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[2], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[1], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[2], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[1], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[2], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[1], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[2], and this is ... hard to say[1], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[2], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[1], and this is ... hard to say[2], and it's so easy to get confused[1], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[2], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![1], and it's so easy to get confused[2], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[1], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![2], and / Everyone better believe[1], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[1], and / Everyone better believe[2], and / just trust me, yeah?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[2], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[2], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[3], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[3], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[3], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[3], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[3], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[3], and this is ... hard to say[3], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[3], and it's so easy to get confused[3], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![3], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[3], and / Everyone better believe[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[3], and

And ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[1], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[2], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[1], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[2], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[1], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[2], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[1], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[2], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[1], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[2], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[1], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[2], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[1], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[2], and this is ... hard to say[1], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[2], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[1], and this is ... hard to say[2], and it's so easy to get confused[1], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[2], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![1], and it's so easy to get confused[2], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[1], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![2], and / Everyone better believe[1], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[1], and / Everyone better believe[2], and / just trust me, yeah?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[2], and ... this - ? / finance, conceptualism, rock and roll ...[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[2], and let's forget all about GVO Investment Management ... it's people I'm interested in, guys like Adam[3], and ... hello, son! / make yourself at home ...[3], and OC&C Strategy Consultants? / 'No one wants to know' / Well, why should they?[3], and this isn't a financial matter ... you gotta have soul, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND here ... so DIZZY, our Adam might not get to touch the sun ... but he should be able to KISS the SKY[3], and this ain't even ... rock and roll[3], and / Are we saying our Adam will go beyond the THREE? / NO! / It's still early days ... for all of us[3], and this is ... hard to say[3], and / When one "normal" guy ... er, gets DIZZY ... uh, the whole world wants to know about it, yeah? / Well, in theory ...[3], and it's so easy to get confused[3], and there are many different kinds of shamanism, man - I'm branching out![3], and take my hand / yes, YOU(!) / ... ... ... there is nothing to be afraid of[3], and / Everyone better believe[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Please, be satisfied with it[3], and / just trust me, yeah?[3], and

Adam Khanbhai has joined GVO Investment Management!

I've never heard of Adam Khanbhai, and I've never heard of GVO Investment Management. That's the beauty of this job. ('Job?!' Yes, Voice, job.) You never know what's going to happen next. ('Or what's happening at all, Mikey.') When I woke up this morning I had no idea that I would be getting to grips with Mr Khanbhai and GVO. It's so exciting! 'Well, lay it on us, baby.' Voice, Adam Khanbhai is an analyst who used to work at OC&C Strategy Consultants. 'Never heard of them.' That doesn't matter. I'm sure it's a good firm. Our Adam was there for six years! Then he got ambitious. He said to himself I want a new challenge. 'Oh, these people are amazing, boss.' What people? 'Guys like Adam.' Yeah, of course they are. / Anyway, at GVO Adam has the responsibility of generating new investment ideas, researching and analysing potential quoted equity investments, presenting high quality investment recommendations to the Financial Shamans Committee, and monitoring existing investments within the portfolios. 'They've got a financial shamans committee?!' Yeah, I suppose. 'That's a bit old hat, isn't it? A bit 2009.' Well ... 'Don't they know you've moved on, man? We've all moved on. Rock and roll shamanism is the new thing*.' They obviously don't know, Voice. I wouldn't worry about. It's no big deal.


*It ain't new, really. Only new to us. Think of Jim!

...

Music? Guitar? Rock and roll shamanism?! Well, I've finally come up with a plan which might work, which I might actually be able to stick to, you dig? And that is: four hours of guitar practice a day, every day. (That'll be tough on big blogging days, but I'll cut down on my sleeping.) It should mean I'll be a pretty decent guitarist by the end of the year. At the moment, I'm listening to Definitely Maybe and In Utero, together, on shuffle. That's the minimum level of guitar playing I'm aiming for, the Gallagher and Cobain level. Jeff Beck says you should practice four or five hours a day. No problem! I'm already doing it, man.

...

Lunch? Cheese sandwich. Nothing fancy. I'm giving the eggs a rest. 'Are they worn out?' Shut up, you idiot.

After lunch? I'll take Adam for a spin, No. 246. I'll make him kiss the sky.

Laters.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

[No. 245] Telecaster/Stratocaster

My head is spinning!

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

Guy Rushton has gone to Polar Capital

This one ... yeah. / Yet another Guy! Unbelievable! Where do they all come from? This guy's in love with you? I doubt it. / Anyway, this guy, this Guy Rushton, has left Legal & General Investment Management for ... a new ... er, psychedelic experience, let us say, at Polar Capital. Slight return, voodoo child? No. Nothing like that. (I'm only having a laugh. Forgive me.) Just a new range of UK absolute return funds. Oh yeah, ABSOLUTE!!! Not slight at all. And I think CEO Tim Woolley will be sending Guy into space ... or something, to manage the funds, set them up, I don't know. (In a space ...) Astral? I hope not. I tried talking to Tim on the phone. He said, honestly ... Excuse me a minute, Mikey, while I, er ... kiss the sky. Then he was gone. (I'm not serious.) I put the phone down after about a minute. But it doesn't matter. I know that one of these funds will be called the UK Absolute Equity fund. (Well, it is called.) [oh],, I know, I know, I know ... yes; ... and(!) ... that should be enough information for ... YOU(!), dear reader(s). I mean, come on, please, it's early days yet. What do you want? Aren't you happy? Come on! Oh, and, er ... don't bother, no, looking at Mr Rushton's LinkedIn profile. Please, don't! He ain't got no contacts, no nothing. It's so sad. I don't see the point ...

Well, well ... / Of course, sadly, there is no point. / Maybe ... but ... / I played my guitar for four hours yesterday. That's the point, man! And five hours the day before ... yesterday, as you know(?). Better than two, obviously. (But I may only do two ... today, because ... well, other commitments, that disgust me, frankly. Things have gotta change ...) You notice the difference, you dig? Your fingers. Actually, my fingers. And this is why I'm saying ... Guy and Tim should get involved. Tim wasn't really kissing the sky. (Just another joke.) BUT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! Finance is dead now. Is anyone listening? Everyone needs to get groovy, yeah? You, you ... oh yeah, YOU(!) need to get a guitar, man, a Tele or a Strat, and come a-ROUND here - no, over there, later. 'What?!' A-ROUND, yeah! Why not? And this is something I'll be exploring later, in No. 245.

...

Finally ... / The good news is, I've got a luxury egg sandwich for lunch. 60p more than the cheap egg muck, but worth it. Worth every single penny, you dig? So, excuse me ...

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Jason Brown wants to get some money out of Blackstone for his hedge fund

Millions of dollars, no doubt. / Oh, we all want to get our hands on other people's money, Jason. I want to live in Malibu, son, bankrolled by Blackstone (or some other gullible alternative investments giant), but life's a shithouse. / These nutjobs ... / I bet Blackstone gives him the money as well - for his Arkkan Capital Management, in Hong Kong, of all places. / This Jason used to be a trader at Goldman Sachs. Oh, surprise, surprise. (They all work at Goldman, and then they don't like it no more, as if the grass is greener or something.) / Obviously, I've taken a good look at his LinkedIn profile, but I'm starting to think that some of these profiles aren't genuine. What does he do for a living? Well, it just says Jason Brown, hedge fund founder. Does that sound right to you, dear reader(s)? It might as well say Jason Brown, space cadet. And he's only got two contacts! Not exactly Mr Popular, is he? Keith Busby has got more contacts than that.

It goes without saying that Jason wants to get back in touch; which really annoys me because I've never been in touch with him (to the best of my knowledge). Not once! 'No?' / Well ... It could have been in a dream, I suppose. Astral shit. I shouldn't rule it out, the possibility. I mean, I used to meet all kinds of crazies on the plane in the old days. 2008, 2009. When the world was young. 'Ah! - ?' Ah, the apple trees! 'Yeah, the apple trees, Mikey. Blossoms in the breeze.' Ah ... the blood and fire, Voice. The carefree days of youth. / Never mind. I'm happier now, anyway. Stronger, and more motivated. Ready for any challenge. 'Really?' I played my guitar for five hours yesterday. 'Five hours?!' Yeah, man. 'Wow! Er ... are you thinking big, boss, or is it just my imagination?' Ha! Not only am I thinking big, Voice, but I'm kicking ass, and I'm taking names, too. 'Jesus!' Oh, you better believe it, boy! Jesus, Jimi, Ziggy ... I'm taking them all on.

[And good luck, Jason! Keep thinking big, like me and Donald.]

...

Anything else? Cheap egg sandwich, rain, half a packet of Jaffa Cakes, more guitar ... / Er ... yeah, laters.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Nothing in particular ...

I just feel like writing, that's all. I'm fed up, man. Bank holiday tomorrow, and it's going to be raining the whole day.

No financial news, thank God. There won't be any until Tuesday, I should imagine.

For your information, dear reader(s), I'm listening to Roxy Music's Avalon. I can only listen to this album at night, like Eno's Apollo. / I can understand why Bryan Ferry doesn't want to record with Roxy again. There's no way they could top Avalon. They would only ruin their legacy with a run-of-the-mill album.

The summer is over now, probably. What have we got to look forward to? Dark nights, cold weather, rain ... / Maybe I'll be able to make more progress with my music through autumn and winter. I played my guitar for three hours today, out of a sort of desperation. I have this anxiety these days, when I'm not holding my guitar, man, you know? / Oh, I want to get better, faster. I need a Telecaster. 'You're a poet, Mikey!' Shut up, Voice.

...

Thought for the night: People who look outside themselves into society, worrying about politics, religion and that, I think they're lost. They can't spend time with themselves. And they can't accept they're going to die one day, so they try to believe there's something bigger and more important than they are, outside. But that's bullshit! It's all inside. Everything is in you, reader(s), in your mind and soul. If you can't deal with that, then be a man - or a woman - and just admit it, yeah? Let's have a bit of fucking honesty, for Christ's sake!

Advice for the night: God is inside ... with you. Have you been looking for Him in a building, or a book? Or in the sky? Don't embarrass yourself. Do you want God thinking you're a dumb wanker? Of course not! So get a grip, and become a mystic.

...

I'm in a funny mood tonight, ain't I? / Well, laters ...

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Shamik Dhar?

The weekend is nearly here, but you want more, dear reader(s), don't ya? So be it! / This one, this guy, goes by the name of Shamik Dhar. He's one of the Aviva Investors mob (head of multi-asset research), but he's leaving now to join the Foreign Office as chief economist and director of economics. Well, it's his funeral ...

I mean, why would any sane person leave a firm where you're allowed to eat ice cream in the park all day (or drink Stella in the pub) to work for the government. Yes, work, Mr Dhar! You don't know what it's like in the real world, son. Outside of Aviva Investors, people have to work for a living. Yeah. It's not fair, but who ever said life was fair? Have a word with yourself, Shamik.

And, yes, dear reader(s), I have looked at Mr Dhar's LinkedIn profile and I can confirm that the man barely exists. Hardly any information at all! Of course, I didn't sign in for the full profile. I'm not actually a member, myself. No, I can't be bothered with it. As I've said before, LinkedIn is Facebook for squares, and Facebook is bad enough.

...

Well, that's your lot. Until next week. Have a nice weekend. Bank holiday Monday, ain't it? Don't do anything I wouldn't do. / Laters.

[No. 244] Guy Shahar

This guy.

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and