Wednesday, 27 August 2014

[No. 245] Telecaster/Stratocaster

My head is spinning!

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

And it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[1], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[2], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[1], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[2], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[1], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[2], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[1], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[2], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[1], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[2], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![1], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[2], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[1], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![2], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[1], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[2], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[1], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[2], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[1], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[2], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[1], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[2], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[1], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[2], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[1], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[1], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[2], and YOU(!) are here[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![1], and YOU(!) are here[2], and / one day, in Malibu ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![2], and it's hard to say, hard to think ... a Tele or a Strat?[3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[2], and a-ROUND my mind here ... what's the difference, with the electric blood and fire, all rock and roll, shamanic?[3], and / Gilly, I'm begging, darling, please, won't you ease my worried mind?[3], and we're talking ... classic player Tele, Baja blonde, custom pick-ups with four-way switching - ?[3], and all I can afford is a Squier Affinity, man  / 'That's good enough, man'[3], and we're talking ... American standard Strat, mystic blue, two-point synchronised tremolo with bent steel saddles - ?[3], and I don't want one of those! / It's got to be a Tele![3], and I'm dreaming ... and LOOK! / oh, there I am, up in the fresh air, there, kissing the sky with Jimi's ghost[3], and the TRUTH is ... all my love's in vain[3], and we're just saying ... special black mirror, honey burst, midnight wine, butterscotch blonde ...[3], and / in a perfect world, where dreams are real ...[3], and we're just saying ... lake placid blue, nitro sunburst, sea foam green, candy apple red ...[3], and here I am, sadly / but I'm staying positive, as always[3], and it goes without saying that I can chop down mountains with the edge of my hand ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... just like Chuck Berry! (Gibson)[3], and YOU(!) are here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... We can't get off![3], and / one day, in Malibu ...[3], and

Guy Rushton has gone to Polar Capital

This one ... yeah. / Yet another Guy! Unbelievable! Where do they all come from? This guy's in love with you? I doubt it. / Anyway, this guy, this Guy Rushton, has left Legal & General Investment Management for ... a new ... er, psychedelic experience, let us say, at Polar Capital. Slight return, voodoo child? No. Nothing like that. (I'm only having a laugh. Forgive me.) Just a new range of UK absolute return funds. Oh yeah, ABSOLUTE!!! Not slight at all. And I think CEO Tim Woolley will be sending Guy into space ... or something, to manage the funds, set them up, I don't know. (In a space ...) Astral? I hope not. I tried talking to Tim on the phone. He said, honestly ... Excuse me a minute, Mikey, while I, er ... kiss the sky. Then he was gone. (I'm not serious.) I put the phone down after about a minute. But it doesn't matter. I know that one of these funds will be called the UK Absolute Equity fund. (Well, it is called.) [oh],, I know, I know, I know ... yes; ... and(!) ... that should be enough information for ... YOU(!), dear reader(s). I mean, come on, please, it's early days yet. What do you want? Aren't you happy? Come on! Oh, and, er ... don't bother, no, looking at Mr Rushton's LinkedIn profile. Please, don't! He ain't got no contacts, no nothing. It's so sad. I don't see the point ...

Well, well ... / Of course, sadly, there is no point. / Maybe ... but ... / I played my guitar for four hours yesterday. That's the point, man! And five hours the day before ... yesterday, as you know(?). Better than two, obviously. (But I may only do two ... today, because ... well, other commitments, that disgust me, frankly. Things have gotta change ...) You notice the difference, you dig? Your fingers. Actually, my fingers. And this is why I'm saying ... Guy and Tim should get involved. Tim wasn't really kissing the sky. (Just another joke.) BUT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN! Finance is dead now. Is anyone listening? Everyone needs to get groovy, yeah? You, you ... oh yeah, YOU(!) need to get a guitar, man, a Tele or a Strat, and come a-ROUND here - no, over there, later. 'What?!' A-ROUND, yeah! Why not? And this is something I'll be exploring later, in No. 245.

...

Finally ... / The good news is, I've got a luxury egg sandwich for lunch. 60p more than the cheap egg muck, but worth it. Worth every single penny, you dig? So, excuse me ...

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Jason Brown wants to get some money out of Blackstone for his hedge fund

Millions of dollars, no doubt. / Oh, we all want to get our hands on other people's money, Jason. I want to live in Malibu, son, bankrolled by Blackstone (or some other gullible alternative investments giant), but life's a shithouse. / These nutjobs ... / I bet Blackstone gives him the money as well - for his Arkkan Capital Management, in Hong Kong, of all places. / This Jason used to be a trader at Goldman Sachs. Oh, surprise, surprise. (They all work at Goldman, and then they don't like it no more, as if the grass is greener or something.) / Obviously, I've taken a good look at his LinkedIn profile, but I'm starting to think that some of these profiles aren't genuine. What does he do for a living? Well, it just says Jason Brown, hedge fund founder. Does that sound right to you, dear reader(s)? It might as well say Jason Brown, space cadet. And he's only got two contacts! Not exactly Mr Popular, is he? Keith Busby has got more contacts than that.

It goes without saying that Jason wants to get back in touch; which really annoys me because I've never been in touch with him (to the best of my knowledge). Not once! 'No?' / Well ... It could have been in a dream, I suppose. Astral shit. I shouldn't rule it out, the possibility. I mean, I used to meet all kinds of crazies on the plane in the old days. 2008, 2009. When the world was young. 'Ah! - ?' Ah, the apple trees! 'Yeah, the apple trees, Mikey. Blossoms in the breeze.' Ah ... the blood and fire, Voice. The carefree days of youth. / Never mind. I'm happier now, anyway. Stronger, and more motivated. Ready for any challenge. 'Really?' I played my guitar for five hours yesterday. 'Five hours?!' Yeah, man. 'Wow! Er ... are you thinking big, boss, or is it just my imagination?' Ha! Not only am I thinking big, Voice, but I'm kicking ass, and I'm taking names, too. 'Jesus!' Oh, you better believe it, boy! Jesus, Jimi, Ziggy ... I'm taking them all on.

[And good luck, Jason! Keep thinking big, like me and Donald.]

...

Anything else? Cheap egg sandwich, rain, half a packet of Jaffa Cakes, more guitar ... / Er ... yeah, laters.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Nothing in particular ...

I just feel like writing, that's all. I'm fed up, man. Bank holiday tomorrow, and it's going to be raining the whole day.

No financial news, thank God. There won't be any until Tuesday, I should imagine.

For your information, dear reader(s), I'm listening to Roxy Music's Avalon. I can only listen to this album at night, like Eno's Apollo. / I can understand why Bryan Ferry doesn't want to record with Roxy again. There's no way they could top Avalon. They would only ruin their legacy with a run-of-the-mill album.

The summer is over now, probably. What have we got to look forward to? Dark nights, cold weather, rain ... / Maybe I'll be able to make more progress with my music through autumn and winter. I played my guitar for three hours today, out of a sort of desperation. I have this anxiety these days, when I'm not holding my guitar, man, you know? / Oh, I want to get better, faster. I need a Telecaster. 'You're a poet, Mikey!' Shut up, Voice.

...

Thought for the night: People who look outside themselves into society, worrying about politics, religion and that, I think they're lost. They can't spend time with themselves. And they can't accept they're going to die one day, so they try to believe there's something bigger and more important than they are, outside. But that's bullshit! It's all inside. Everything is in you, reader(s), in your mind and soul. If you can't deal with that, then be a man - or a woman - and just admit it, yeah? Let's have a bit of fucking honesty, for Christ's sake!

Advice for the night: God is inside ... with you. Have you been looking for Him in a building, or a book? Or in the sky? Don't embarrass yourself. Do you want God thinking you're a dumb wanker? Of course not! So get a grip, and become a mystic.

...

I'm in a funny mood tonight, ain't I? / Well, laters ...

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Shamik Dhar?

The weekend is nearly here, but you want more, dear reader(s), don't ya? So be it! / This one, this guy, goes by the name of Shamik Dhar. He's one of the Aviva Investors mob (head of multi-asset research), but he's leaving now to join the Foreign Office as chief economist and director of economics. Well, it's his funeral ...

I mean, why would any sane person leave a firm where you're allowed to eat ice cream in the park all day (or drink Stella in the pub) to work for the government. Yes, work, Mr Dhar! You don't know what it's like in the real world, son. Outside of Aviva Investors, people have to work for a living. Yeah. It's not fair, but who ever said life was fair? Have a word with yourself, Shamik.

And, yes, dear reader(s), I have looked at Mr Dhar's LinkedIn profile and I can confirm that the man barely exists. Hardly any information at all! Of course, I didn't sign in for the full profile. I'm not actually a member, myself. No, I can't be bothered with it. As I've said before, LinkedIn is Facebook for squares, and Facebook is bad enough.

...

Well, that's your lot. Until next week. Have a nice weekend. Bank holiday Monday, ain't it? Don't do anything I wouldn't do. / Laters.

[No. 244] Guy Shahar

This guy.

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and

And here he is ... so shy![1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[1], and here he is ... so shy![2], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[1], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[2], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[1], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[2], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[1], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[2], and this is the end of the world ...[1], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[2], and it goes on ... forever[1], and this is the end of the world ...[2], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[1], and it goes on ... forever[2], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[1], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[2], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[1], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[2], and / er, this guy ...[1], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[2], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[1], and / er, this guy ...[2], and / I don't know![1], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[2], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[1], and / I don't know![2], and here he is ... so shy![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[2], and they call him Mr Guy Shahar / and that's his name / and it's NOTHING to do with me[3], and this guy is into DSAM ... but I ain't judging him[3], and there's not a lot more I can tell anyone / Sorry ...[3], and so ... I'll just tell myself that getting DIZZY all a-ROUND is the only thing that matters at the end of the world[3], and this is the end of the world ...[3], and it goes on ... forever[3], and we're all gonna feel a whole lot worse before ... it keeps on going / 'Let me get off! / I feel -'[3], and one day ... I'll be as ill as ... "them"[3], and I can't make sense of NOTHING ... without a little help from my sick little friends[3], and / er, this guy ...[3], and I seem to have forgotten about Mr Guy Shahar ... which must come as a great relief to him[3], and / I don't know![3], and / any mystery that there was ... is bigger now ... on the way to the THREE ... but not beyond it, surely?[3], and

Who is this guy, Guy Shahar?

It's very disappointing. Very disappointing. I can't find a website for his hedge fund, DSAM Partners. And I can't find a LinkedIn profile for Guy Shahar neither. 'Christ!' Who does this Mr Shahar think he is, an international man of mystery?! 'It's not good enough, boss. What are you going to do about it?' Well ... not a lot. After lunch, I'll try a conceptual, No. 244. 'Will that help?' No, probably not. 'Oh.' In the meantime though, I can tell my readers that Guy Shahar used to be a trader at Goldman Sachs. 'Great!' A "top" trader, by all accounts. 'It gets better!' He's into European long/short equity shit. 'Oh dear.' What's wrong with that, man? 'Nothing.' He's making a lot of money, Voice. Profit is five times what it used to be. 'What did it used to be, Mikey?' I don't know. But I doubt Guy is walking around with holes in his shoes, you dig?

Anyway, after lunch, I'll be taking a closer look at Mr Shahar. See if I can strip away some of the mystery. Or maybe add to it.

...

Music? Well, I was listening to The Best of Van Morrison. I'm not sure what to put on next. 'How about John Lennon's John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band?' Yeah! I'll put that on. Well done, Voice.

Lennon plays all the guitar on this album. Mainly rhythm. Some finger-picking. A bit of simple lead.

He plays some simple piano as well. Although Phil Spector plays piano on Love, and Billy Preston plays it on God. (I wonder if Phil played on a couple of the other tracks, too ...)

Ringo is on drums!

...

Pub tomorrow. I didn't bump into Oliver Cromwell's ghost last week. Maybe I'll have more luck this week.

Lunch? Oh, cheese sandwich. Yeah. What do you want from me, dear reader(s)? I like cheese, and I like bread. So sue me!

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

[No. 243] The same old riff gets better all the time

In my head, my soul, groovy all a-ROUND, you dig?

And ... let's rock![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[1], and ... let's rock![2], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[2], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![1], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![2], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[1], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![2], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![1], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[2], and so MELLOW![1], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![2], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[1], and so MELLOW![2], and I see my light come shining ...[1], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[2], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[1], and I see my light come shining ...[2], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[1], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![1], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[2], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![2], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[1], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[2], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[1], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[2], and / do you know this one?[1], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[2], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![1], and / do you know this one?[2], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[1], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![2], and ... let's rock![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[2], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[3], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![3], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![3], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[3], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![3], and so MELLOW![3], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[3], and I see my light come shining ...[3], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[3], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![3], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[3], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[3], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[3], and / do you know this one?[3], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[3], and

And ... let's rock![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[1], and ... let's rock![2], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[2], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![1], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![2], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[1], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![2], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![1], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[2], and so MELLOW![1], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![2], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[1], and so MELLOW![2], and I see my light come shining ...[1], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[2], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[1], and I see my light come shining ...[2], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[1], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![1], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[2], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![2], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[1], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[2], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[1], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[2], and / do you know this one?[1], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[2], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![1], and / do you know this one?[2], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[1], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![2], and ... let's rock![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[2], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[3], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![3], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![3], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[3], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![3], and so MELLOW![3], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[3], and I see my light come shining ...[3], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[3], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![3], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[3], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[3], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[3], and / do you know this one?[3], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[3], and

And ... let's rock![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[1], and ... let's rock![2], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![1], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[2], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![1], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![2], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[1], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![2], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![1], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[2], and so MELLOW![1], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![2], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[1], and so MELLOW![2], and I see my light come shining ...[1], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[2], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[1], and I see my light come shining ...[2], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[1], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![1], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[2], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![2], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[1], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[2], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[1], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[2], and / do you know this one?[1], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[2], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![1], and / do you know this one?[2], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[1], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![2], and ... let's rock![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[2], and I'll never get bored of the sound, my fingers, and the strings, and the hole in the ...[3], and ... DEAD MILKMEN!!![3], and what's that sound, coming out of the hole in the wood? - it's the guitar![3], and ... NOTHING CHANGES FOREVER[3], and if you've got bongos, yes, YOU(!) ... you can bong your bangos along to the tune, man![3], and so MELLOW![3], and some might say ... that life is shit, the world is shit ... / I'm in two minds, both confused ...[3], and I see my light come shining ...[3], and while YOU(!) ... were out of your mind(s), both of them confused ...[3], and / I was in there, both ... breaking glass again[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... oh, just like, er ... DIZZY MISS LIZZY, yes!!![3], and one day I'll fall through the roof and meet myself ...[3], and I'm always spinning in the same old conceptual shit ... hoping for a happy ending[3], and / 'Sing another song, boys!' / No, no, no ...[3], and / do you know this one?[3], and I'd be so lonely if you weren't here sharing all the pain - and the good times, of course![3], and a-ROUND here the riff remains the same[3], and

Derek Pound is leaving Jupiter!

Surprise, surprise, eh?! Oh yes. Another Jupiter fund manager I've never even heard of, man, is leaving the firm. 'His real name is Billy Pound, boss.' Don't be ridiculous, Voice! / Dear reader(s), his name is Derek Pound and he's been at Jupiter since 1995, and I've never even heard of him. Yes, another non-shaman! How many non-shamans do they have at Jupiter? What the fuck is going on?! 'Have you heard of Bill Pound, boss?' No, I haven't, Voice. Please be quiet. / Derek Pound is/was managing the Jupiter Global Energy fund. They're going to shut it down when he leaves next month for a new challenge. 'I'll give him a new challenge, boss. Why doesn't he tell the truth about his name?' For Christ's sake! Why do you think his name is Billy, or Bill? 'LinkedIn.' Oh, I see. Has he been hiding something from us? 'Yeah. He's been telling everyone at Jupiter that his name is Derek Pound - for years! But on LinkedIn his name is Billy Bob Pound or something.' William Derek Pound, Voice? 'Yeah, that's it.' Right. Oh, very dodgy. I don't like this. I don't like it at all!

Why would a fund manager have two names? 'One for business, and one for private ... shenanigans.' Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Great minds think alike, man. / This is just a theory, but I reckon our Billy (or Del or whatever the hell his name is) has been going on to the astral plane under another name to avoid detection. 'But you've banned all finance characters from the plane, Mikey!' Yes, I have. And we're not taking on any more financial shamans, are we? (The game is almost over, reader(s). Finance sickens me these days, as you know. Rock and roll shamanism is the future!) It all makes sense now. 'Really?' Del (or Billy) wants to become a financial shaman, but he wants to do it on the quiet. 'Ah.' I can't imagine he's shaman material though. Too much of a prima donna, from what I can gather. 'Yeah.' And no doubt he thinks I was born yesterday. 'Ha! You were born a million years ago, boss.' Fuckin' A(!) I was, son. At least a million years ago. A billion! / It's obvious that Jupiter found out and warned Billy of what I would do to him. 'They're scared of you, man. / So, Del's leaving, then. Maybe for the astral plane, maybe permanently.' Well, I'll be able to stop him now, won't I?

...

Another mystery solved, eh, dear reader(s)? I'm just like Columbo! (Well, sort of. There hasn't been a murder. Bergerac might be a better comparison.) / Lunch!

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Melvin Capital and Folger Hill Asset Management!

Congratulations to Gabriel Plotkin and Solomon Kumin! These ex-SAC (SAC or whatever it's called this week) characters have finally got their shit together and found names for their new firms. Gabriel has named his firm Melvin Capital after his late grandfather, Capital Plotkin. No, that's not right. Er ... Melvin Plotkin. Yeah. What a lovely guy! And Solomon has named his firm Folger Hill Asset Management after ... some hill, I suppose. Ha! Obviously not a sentimental man, after all, this Solomon. I had him wrong.

Of course, neither of these firms will open until next year. Christ. Why the delay?! Well, I guess Gabriel and Solomon are pretty lazy, yeah? I mean, they don't have Stevie shouting at them no more. (Or staring at them coldly from his office.) They're the bosses now, the big men. So they can do what they want, which isn't very much. / But I can talk! I still haven't finished recording the demo of my songs.

It's like wading through treacle, when you have a dream. The treacle in your mind, you dig? There aren't many people who can go after what they want with a clear head. I don't know how Aristotle Onassis did it. Or Julius Caesar. Or Noel Edmonds. / Focus! It's all about focus, surely. You've got to forget about the muck of life ... the bills, the pub, the phone, the TV, the dirty laundry, the noises in the street. / Shut it all out! Tell the world to do one, soft lad!

Anyway, I wish Gabriel and Solomon all the best. / You'll get there, guys! You've just gotta keep believing.

...

I didn't go out yesterday (probably will today.) However, I played my guitar for three hours, man. / Blues scale in A? Well, starting from the fifth fret I know all the notes over the first twelve frets now. (I can't go any further with my acoustic.) And I've come up with a really cool riff, too. Worthy of Eric Clapton!

I'm listening to Prince at the moment though. He's wittering on about some bloody tambourine on his Around the World in a Day album. As long as he's happy ...

Pop Life - !