Thursday, 26 March 2015

Congratulations to Doug Gordon at Russell Investments!

Well done, son! / Dear reader(s), this cat, Doug Gordon, has just been promoted to senior portfolio manager. And you know what they say at Russell Investments, don't you? To achieve your goals, you need to do everything well. Well, obviously, our Doug has been doing everything well. / Well done, son! 'You're repeating yourself, boss.' So? 'What was Doug before.' Eh? 'What job did Doug do before?' Oh, er ... senior investment strategist.

I'm so pleased for him. Caspar, the friendly chief investment officer for multi-asset solutions, is pleased as well. Everyone's happy!

...

And it's the weekend! 'Thursday night?!' Yes, Voice, Thursday night, the start of the weekend. You got a problem with that? 'No.'

Bastard! / Don't bring me down, man. I'm looking forward to the pub tomorrow. The week I've had, I need a couple of pints ...

Oh, later(s), reader(s).

[No. 304] What is the point of Eric Evans?

It's just a question, man.

And it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[1], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[2], and our Eric isn't poor[1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[2], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![1], and our Eric isn't poor[2], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![1], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![2], and here we are! / ... ... ...[1], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[1], and here we are! / ... ... ...[2], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[2], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[1], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![2], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[1], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[2], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[1], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[2], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[1], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[2], and I try not to think ...[1], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[2], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![1], and I try not to think ...[2], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![2], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[3], and our Eric isn't poor[3], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![3], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![3], and here we are! / ... ... ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[3], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![3], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[3], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[3], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[3], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[3], and I try not to think ...[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![3], and

And it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[1], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[2], and our Eric isn't poor[1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[2], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![1], and our Eric isn't poor[2], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![1], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![2], and here we are! / ... ... ...[1], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[1], and here we are! / ... ... ...[2], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[2], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[1], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![2], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[1], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[2], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[1], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[2], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[1], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[2], and I try not to think ...[1], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[2], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![1], and I try not to think ...[2], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![2], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[3], and our Eric isn't poor[3], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![3], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![3], and here we are! / ... ... ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[3], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![3], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[3], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[3], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[3], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[3], and I try not to think ...[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![3], and

And it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[1], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[1], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[2], and our Eric isn't poor[1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[2], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![1], and our Eric isn't poor[2], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![1], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![2], and here we are! / ... ... ...[1], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![2], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[1], and here we are! / ... ... ...[2], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![1], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[2], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[1], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![2], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[1], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[2], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[1], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[2], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[1], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[2], and I try not to think ...[1], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[2], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![1], and I try not to think ...[2], and it's NOTHING(!) personal ... ... ... but we need to know, don't we?[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![2], and one hedgie is very much like another ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more personal, Mikey! Leave the poor man alone!'[3], and our Eric isn't poor[3], and if we can solve this mystery ... there will be more mysteries later / oh, it never stops![3], and here he is! / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, like he was born to spin![3], and here we are! / ... ... ...[3], and ... / 'You couldn't be more DIZZY, Mikey! ... / ... with tired eyes, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy ...'[3], and ... / ... ... ...  yes! So sleepy![3], and if I let go, really lose my grip, will the THREE pass by, so gone, while I sleep forever?[3], and I could almost forget why I'm here ... and who(m) I'm supposed to be entertaining[3], and our Eric would love to be forgotten by the lunatics of this world ...[3], and if there ever, ever, oh ever ... was a point, don't YOU(!) think ... don't you think, at all?[3], and I try not to think ...[3], and these people have to pay a price ... / ... and this is the price![3], and

Eric Evans and ... / Orchard View Capital Advisors!

What's this? You're wondering, dear reader(s). 'What's this?' Not you. Them. 'Oh.' Have a guess! 'Me?' Okay. All right. Go on. 'Er ... a new hedge fund.' Well done. 'Do I win a prize?' Yeah, you keep your job, for another day.

[Oh, I've got Iggy and the Stooges on, Raw Power. I only got four hours sleep last night and I want what Paul Trynka calls their "moronic inferno".]

Eric Evans? He doesn't seem to have a LinkedIn profile, which means I know absolutely NOTHING about him. Fine! If that's the way he wants it, that's the way he gets it. Some hedge fund managers you just can't reach. It's a failure to communicate.

'SAC Capital, boss?' What? 'Our Eric used to work at SAC Capital, health-care shit.' So what? 'It's information for your readers, man.' Thanks, man. I'm sure they appreciate it.

This Orchard View thing is in New York. I don't know if it has actually launched yet. You know how these things are. I mean, good things take time ... as I know from bitter experience.

After lunch, I'll be taking Eric Evans for a spin, No. 304. What's the point? You're wondering. 'Ha!' Give me a break, reader(s). I have to fill my days somehow. What do you do? You make money with your cockamamie funds. I get a-ROUND. So sue me!

[Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell. One of the greatest song titles ever!]

...

Well, well ... / As one hedge fund closes another one opens ... It's the way of the world, my friend(s). It's perfectly natural. We shouldn't fear it.

No, it doesn't bother me. I live in chaos. And I'm happy to keep a record of the nonsense.

There must be some reason. Not that I need a reason.

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

[No. 303] Who says the space people have got no eyes?

Not me!

And, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[1], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[2], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[2], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![1], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[2], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![1], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![2], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[1], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![2], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![1], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[2], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![2], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![1], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[2],
and the world has some very sick people in it[1], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![2], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[1], and the world has some very sick people in it[2], and ... side effects?[1], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[2], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[1], and ... side effects?[2], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[1], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[2], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[1], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[2], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[1], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[2], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[2], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[3], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[3], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![3], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![3], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[3], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![3], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[3], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![3], and the world has some very sick people in it[3], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[3], and ... side effects?[3], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[3], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[3], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[3], and

And, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[1], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[2], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[2], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![1], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[2], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![1], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![2], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[1], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![2], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![1], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[2], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![2], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![1], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[2], and the world has some very sick people in it[1], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![2], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[1], and the world has some very sick people in it[2], and ... side effects?[1], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[2], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[1], and ... side effects?[2], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[1], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[2], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[1], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[2], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[1], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[2], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[2], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[3], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[3], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![3], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![3], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[3], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![3], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[3], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![3], and the world has some very sick people in it[3], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[3], and ... side effects?[3], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[3], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[3], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[3], and

And, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[1], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[2], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[1], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[2], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![1], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[2], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![1], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![2], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[1], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![2], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![1], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[2], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![2], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![1], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[2], and the world has some very sick people in it[1], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![2], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[1], and the world has some very sick people in it[2], and ... side effects?[1], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[2], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[1], and ... side effects?[2], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[1], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[2], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[1], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[2], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[1], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[2], and, well, well, yes ... / uh, questions may be hunchbacks to the poker marrow BUT(!!!) ...[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[2], and ... ... ... / ... ... ... it deserves an answer[3], and ... What do YOU(!) say?[3], and I guess the SPACE PEOPLE are watching us through our TV sets / Are you cool with that, man?![3], and I need a cat to lay down some rock 'n' roll ... oh, to calm my nerves a bit ... / Hazy cosmic jive![3], and if you want to feel safe, my friend(s) ... well, maybe you should spend all of your time a-ROUND here[3], and getting DIZZY(!) sure beats working for a living! / YOU(!) don't need no funds!!![3], and knowledge comes with death's release / ah, ah, ah ...[3], and my baby is lost, so GONE! / in the TV? - ??? / maybe my baby is beyond the THREE![3], and the world has some very sick people in it[3], and real cool spinners / we are so turned on! / and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ...[3], and ... side effects?[3], and the SPACE PEOPLE are after us! / So, let's go, oh, let's go, son, let's go go[3], and if they want us ... well, love is a funny thing[3], and don't get me wrong, she turns me on, but ... JOHN, I'M ONLY SPINNING a-ROUND[3], and I don't know who says anything / Voices come and voices go ...[3], and

TigerShark Management is closing

I'm not much in the mood for finance today. But I may as well mention this story. Yes, another hedge fund is closing. TigerShark Management. 'Damn! What's the problem, boss?' Oh, Voice, bull market problems, I suppose. I don't know. Shorting is out of fashion. / I guess it's bad for the founders, Tom Facciola and Michael Sears, but they'll survive. They've got money.

It's not the end of the world ... / As I keep saying, dear reader(s), there is more to life than working in a bank or hedge fund. Enjoy yourself! It's later than you think.

...

Music? I'm listening to David Bowie today. I've just played Young Americans. 'What next?' Station to Station. / I've been reading Paul Trynka's biography again. (I've read a lot of Bowie biographies, but this is the best one.) Some great stuff in it. 'Like ... Who says the space people have got no eyes? ... Mikey?' Yes, Voice. Also, Slash from Guns N' Roses used to go round Bowie's house in LA when he was only nine years old. Bowie was the thin white duke at the time. 'Amazing!' Yeah. Or maybe it was just before that ... 1975/1976, that period, anyway.

The book is keeping me motivated, dear reader(s). / I was depressed Monday and Tuesday, so didn't even try to record my songs. 'Bloody hell!' I'll try again this Sunday. I've got to control my emotional states, man, or I'll never get anywhere. / I'm torn, confused. I might be better off as a rock star, you know, rather than ... just live the quiet life of a songwriter, you dig? I mean, what is best? The thing that strikes me about Bowie is his ability to escape "normal" life. That may not be true these days, now that he's settled and happy. However, it was certainly true in the Seventies, when he was coked out of his mind and scouring the night skies for UFOs.

Guitar? Guitar?! 'Is there an echo in here?' I'm well pleased with my progress, man. (Oh, something positive in the gloom!) My lead stuff still isn't very melodic, but I can play as smoothly as Clapton ... maybe. And rhythm? Oh, I play my songs perfectly every time. I've just got to record them ...

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Emrah Kagitcibasi?!

No one knows who he is. No one has ever met him. He may not even exist, except in nightmares. 'That can't be right. Who is he, boss, really?' Just Emrah Kagitcibasi, Voice. Just a name. 'No LinkedIn profile?' Not as far as I know.

But here's the news: Pictet Asset Management has appointed Emrah Kagitcibasi as a senior investment specialist for its emerging market debt team in London. 'Oh dear.' Yeah, he'll be arriving from New York soon. 'If he's not here already ...'

Emrah Kagitcibasi could be here already, dear reader(s)!

...

Oh God! / He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly with him, but to hear Simon Lue-Fong tell it, anybody could have worked with Kagitcibasi. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. One story the guys told me - the story I believe - was from his days in Turkey. He realized that to be in power you didn't need funds or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. There was a petty gang of Hungarians that wanted their own asset management firm. After a while they come to power, and they come after Kagitcibasi. (He was small-time then, just an auditor, they say.) They come to his office in the afternoon, looking for his business. They find various office workers, you know, support staff, and decide to wait for Kagitcibasi. He returns from lunch to find the post boy screaming. The Hungarians knew Kagitcibasi was tough. Not to be trifled with. So they let him know they meant business. They tell Kagitcibasi they want his territory - all his finance stuff. Kagitcibasi looks over the face of the post boy ... Then he showed these men a will, of what will really was. He tells them he would rather see the post boy dead than live another day after this. ('Oh, lovely for the post boy, Mikey!' Yeah.) Well, anyway, he ... "deals" with the Hungarians, but he lets one go. He waits until the post boy is in the ground and then he goes after the rest of the mob. He takes their money, he closes their funds, he burns down their offices, he beats up their investors. ('Unbelievable, boss!' Yeah.) And like that, he was gone! Underground. No one has seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that traders and fund managers tell their kids at night. If you rat on your pop to the FCA or the SEC, Emrah Kagitcibasi will get you. And nobody really ever believes.

'And now he's in London!' Probably ...

Monday, 23 March 2015

"Finance workers aren't bad apples"

That's not me saying that. 'And it's not me!' It's Gerry Grimstone. / Well, I suppose we have to take his word for it. Politicians are the bad apples. Finance workers just get caught up in the making of money. It makes them go crazy. They are pretty innocent people. They don't know what they're doing, most of them. Politicians though, go out of their way to get involved in all the evil of the world. 'Believe it, baby!' There ain't one politician going to heaven.

Finance workers have a chance to repent ... / My advice is ... make a bit of money, dear reader(s), enough to set you up, and then get out, man! Don't be greedy. There are other things you can do.

Hell is real, my friend(s). Oh yes, I know. I have spiritual connections. 'Big time.' / Oh, please listen to me, man, don't donate any of your money to the Conservatives this election. That would be asking for trouble. You see, Satan is watching. 'He has eyes everywhere!' He's taking notes, yeah? He's looking for vulnerable souls. Don't paint a target on your back.

And, er ... Gerry Grimstone? This cat is the chairman of Standard life, apparently. He has 351 connections on LinkedIn. 'Christ! Only 351?! Could do better, boss.' Could he? Maybe. I don't know, Voice. It might not even be a real profile. I don't trust anything I read on the internet ... too many degenerates around.

...

Anything else? Well, there's music, man. I'm listening to ... (uh, hang on a minute, need to put something on) ... Biggie, Ready to Die. I've never been all that keen on him, but I watched the Notorious film on TV last night, about his life. It was all right. What amused me is that the actor playing him reminded me of Peter Kay as his Max character (from Phoenix Nights and Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere). A black version. Maybe I'm just crazy ...

[Biggie is rapping about Timbs. I used to have a pair, which I really miss. You need them where I live. You get respect, and no one fucks with you, you dig?]

Er ... / My music? I'm going to have a go at recording again this week. I feel up for it. My demo. Yeah, I'm all enthusiastic and shit. / My guitar playing went up a level recently. It's a strange thing. You can play every day for months without making any progress. Then suddenly, overnight, you can start playing better. It's like there's a delay or something. 'A dam bursting, son!' What? 'A build up of skill, Mikey, that bursts like a dam.' Yeah, whatever.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Julian Rifat gets nineteen months for insider trading

Christ! It's taken enough time, hasn't it? When was he arrested? 'Oh, years ago!' Four years ago. If he had gone to prison then, he would have been out for over two years now and might have rebuilt his life.

Of course, he won't be able to work in finance again. Never mind. He's well out of it. Come on, dear reader(s), be honest, finance is a mug's game. Yeah, it's nice money, but all the hassles, the long hours, the way it affects your health ... IS IT WORTH IT? NO!!!

REPENT! Repent! REPENT! Find God ... like Stephen Green, the HSBC guy. I mean, he preaches in church, for Christ's sake! The man is real serious. REPENT!

...

Ah, that's enough. End of the week. What a relief!

Oh, I've been thinking about the Budget again. Boy, I hate politicians. I really hate them. They don't see the country as a unified whole, you know? All the people together. No. They only think of their mates, their class, their fucking country club, whatever. VAMPIRES! They're just vampires, my friend(s).

Journalists? Ha! There are a handful of journalists who are doing what they are supposed to be doing ... Let's leave it at that.

I can't even go to the pub tomorrow because I'm waiting for something to be delivered.

Oh, see you next week, man.

[No. 302] I'm sick of the 1 per cent!

They're ruining EVERYTHING for EVERYONE!

And I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[1], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[2], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![2], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![1], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[2], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[1], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![2], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[1], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[2], and selling matches? I might have to[1], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[2], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[1], and selling matches? I might have to[2], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[1], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[2], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[1], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[2], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[1], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[2], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[2], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![3], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[3], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![3], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[3], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[3], and selling matches? I might have to[3], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[3], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[3], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[3], and

And I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[1], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[2], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![2], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![1], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[2], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[1], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![2], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[1], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[2], and selling matches? I might have to[1], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[2], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[1], and selling matches? I might have to[2], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[1], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[2], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[1], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[2], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[1], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[2], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[2], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![3], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[3], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![3], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[3], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[3], and selling matches? I might have to[3], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[3], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[3], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[3], and

And I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[1], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![1], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[2], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![2], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![1], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[2], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[1], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![2], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[1], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[2], and selling matches? I might have to[1], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[2], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[1], and selling matches? I might have to[2], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[1], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[2], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[1], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[2], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[1], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[2], and I tell YOU(!), man ... it's time for a REVOLUTION! / so, er, er ... yeah, let's get a-ROUND![3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[2], and I'm sick, sick, so sick ... oh, I guess you know that, not exactly a shock, eh? / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... but is it enough for YOU(!)? / COME ON!!! / !!![3], and pretty soon we'll all be in the GUTTER wondering what the hell happened[3], and I get a-ROUND ... / oh yes![3], and is this ... the life you wanted? / did you dream of being DIZZY with the 1 per cent monsters laughing at you?[3], and down in the soup kitchen is where all the action is these days / crazy cats at the end of civilization[3], and selling matches? I might have to[3], and I would cry, and I would bang my fists, about the ... situation - but no one cares, son (daughter)[3], and ain't no human being gonna help / oh, we're gonna need a god for the job ... 'Ha! Good luck, Mikey!'[3], and ... / No, there is NO HUMAN SOLUTION[3], and all I know is ... if you want to forget, then this is the place to be / I can't offer you more than that[3], and

Budget 2015: You only need to know one thing!

Money will continue to flow from the bottom 99 per cent of society to the top 1 per cent. And that's no way to run a country or a world, my friend(s). Because it just ain't fair, man! Or sensible. It will lead to collapse, the destruction of capitalism, and revolution. None of us want to see that. We're all reasonable people, aren't we? / I probably won't vote at the general election, but I'm thinking now that a Labour/SNP coalition will be the best result. Labour by themselves will just continue with the Tory nonsense of wealth distribution from the poorest to the richest. No, we need the SNP to get involved! / Not that I care. I don't even want to think about politics, son (daughter). Christ. I swear, if it wasn't for my music, I would probably go insane.

...

Anything else? You betcha!

Film review? Why not?! The Color of Money. I bought the DVD the other day. Yeah, it's a good film. (Another Tom Cruise film. So sue me!) I like Paul Newman's character, "Fast" Eddie Felson. The guy's been out of the pool game for twenty-five years (like me, with my music) but he gets the hunger again, you dig? By the end of the film, you get the feeling he's going to be the top dog, better even than Vincent. Vincent? Vince? That's the Tom Cruise character. He's only interested in money. "Fast" Eddie Felson likes the money, too. Oh yes! However, his real passion is ... glory!

Yeah, man, it's a great film. A sequel that is better than the original! That has only happened one other time(?), with The Godfather (Part II).

...

Well, well ... / Music? I'm listening to ... You know, I think this will become a music blog eventually. It's the way things are going, dear reader(s). 'Not a film review blog, Mikey?' Shut it, you slag!

Er ... yeah, I'm listening to NOTHING(!) yet. What time is it? We've got plenty of time!

My music?! Well, I was playing my Tele for a bit yesterday, with the new strap, standing up. Uh, it was pretty hit and miss, my playing. But I had moments, man, I had moments ... two minutes or so ... where it was like Hendrix at Woodstock. Seriously! God knows what the neighbours were thinking. 'Payback for all their noise, boss!' / The trick is ... to forget yourself, and forget your guitar. Er, the way Tom Cruise learned to forget himself and his sword in The Last Samurai. / Fight? Let's rock!