Thursday, 26 May 2016

Albion Ventures sells Haemostatix to Ergomed

Er ... I don't even know where to start, to be honest with you. 'What is this nonsense, boss?' It's the Thursday night PR email, back by popular demand. 'It's a joke, right?' I don't think so, Voice. I think they're serious. (Albion Ventures again!)

Ergomed is acquiring 100 per cent of the issued share capital of Haemostatix for an initial consideration of £8.0 million, with contingent consideration of a further £20.0 million. Ergomed is acquiring Haemostatix from a group of UK-based VC investors including Albion Ventures, Catapult Ventures, Esperante, as well as Nesta and the Wellcome Trust. Nottingham based Haemostatix is developing first-in-class topical clotting agents. Haemostatix is a spin-out of the University of Leicester. The technology is based on a novel class of molecule that binds directly to fibrinogen to promote haemostasis and is targeted at the global surgical bleeding market, worth more than $2 billion. 


I have absolutely no idea what this is all about! 'They're playing you for a fool, Mikey.' No, I'm afraid they're serious, man. It must mean something to someone.

The two lead products developed by the Haemostatix team are PeproStat (Phase IIb ready), a blood-free, ready-to-use topical liquid haemostat which is applied to wounds to control bleeding during surgery, and ReadyFlow (pre-clinical), a blood-free, ready to use, transparent and flowable haemostatic gel packaged in a pre-filled syringe.

No, that's enough. I give up. It goes without saying that ... 'You wish them all the best?' Yeah, I suppose. I don't know.

...

It's the weekend! 'Yippee!' A long one, too. 'Yippee!' Laters.

[No. 417] Mark is a wise man

Mark Wiseman, yeah? It's pretty obvious.

And a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[1], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[2], and we all know that life is too short[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[1], and we all know that life is too short[2], and it's just ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[2], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[1], and it's just ...[2], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[1], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[2], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[1], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[2], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![1], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[2], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[1], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![2], and ... not at CPP?![1], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[2], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![1], and ... not at CPP?![2], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![1], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![2], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[1], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![2], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[1], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[2], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![1], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[2], and don't cry![1], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![2], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[1], and don't cry![2], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[3], and we all know that life is too short[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[3], and it's just ...[3], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[3], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[3], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[3], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![3], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[3], and ... not at CPP?![3], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![3], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![3], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[3], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[3], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![3], and don't cry![3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[3], and

And a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[1], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[2], and we all know that life is too short[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[1], and we all know that life is too short[2], and it's just ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[2], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[1], and it's just ...[2], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[1], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[2], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[1], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[2], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![1], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[2], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[1], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![2], and ... not at CPP?![1], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[2], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![1], and ... not at CPP?![2], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![1], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![2], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[1], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![2], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[1], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[2], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![1], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[2], and don't cry![1], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![2], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[1], and don't cry![2], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[3], and we all know that life is too short[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[3], and it's just ...[3], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[3], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[3], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[3], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![3], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[3], and ... not at CPP?![3], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![3], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![3], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[3], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[3], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![3], and don't cry![3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[3], and

And a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[1], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[2], and we all know that life is too short[1], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[1], and we all know that life is too short[2], and it's just ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[2], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[1], and it's just ...[2], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[1], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[2], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[1], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[2], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![1], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[2], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[1], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![2], and ... not at CPP?![1], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[2], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![1], and ... not at CPP?![2], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![1], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![2], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[1], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![2], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[1], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[2], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![1], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[2], and don't cry![1], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![2], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[1], and don't cry![2], and a hell of a lot can happen in three months ...[3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[2], and maybe, just maybe ... our Mark will never start work at BlackRock might find something else[3], and we all know that life is too short[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... give me one moment, please[3], and it's just ...[3], and I'm really thinking NOW ... a-ROUND here is where he's gotta be forever, you dig?[3], and it breaks my heart, the freedom of squares[3], and I might have to offer my personal guarantee of a great life that is actually worth living[3], and ... let's spin it so wild!!![3], and where is he? / In the park on a sunny day? / at home, meditating? / Uh, meditating in the park ...?[3], and ... not at CPP?![3], and come, come to us, oh, us kooks, wise man ... with all the wisdom you have and we will TREBLE it![3], and ... oh, hello, hello, hello! / Welcome![3], and that's the TRUE POWER, man, that I have over simple financial souls[3], and here is looking at YOU(!), kid[3], and I hope you're happy NOW ... considering I never promised you a fucking rainbow![3], and don't cry![3], and, my kooks, it's not my fault / uh, the money-people are so hard to please ... eh?[3], and

Mark Wiseman is joining BlackRock!

Oh, but not for ages yet. Not until September. I think he wants some time to himself first, then he'll be all refreshed and shit for his new role. 'Maybe he can't leave CPP until September, boss?' What do you know about it, Voice?! 'Nothing.' Exactly! 'What do you know about it?' Er ... I have my instincts, man. And my instincts are telling me that our Mark is a wise man. He won't want to rush into work at BlackRock. 'Ha! Of course, in the real world, if you leave a job as a supermarket assistant or a toilet attendant or something, you're expected to start in your new role immediately. You can't have months off to please yourself, to go travelling, or ... I don't know, spend the whole time meditating, yeah? It's disgusting!' Eh? What the fuck are you talking about, Voice?! Mark Wiseman ain't no toilet attendant! He is - or was - the president and chief executive of the CPP Investment Board, the Canadian pension plan thing. 'I'm just saying, that's all.' Well don't! Keep your big mouth shut if you can't be sensible.

Christ! Anyway, uh ... what's he going to be doing at BlackRock, you want to know, dear reader(s)? Well, Mark is going to be the head of BlackRock's global active equity business, and chairman of the BlackRock global investment committee, too. 'Nice.' So, er ... not exactly a toilet attendant, do you know what I mean? 'I didn't say he -' Shut up, Voice! You got it wrong. You made a mistake. Admit it like a man. 'I'm not a man though.' Well, what are you, exactly? 'That's for me to know and for you to find out.' Ha! No thanks, if you don't mind.

Jesus H. ... ! / Anything else? Not much. I'll be taking Mr Wiseman for a spin later, No. 417. Music? Oh, I'm listening to Prince's Lovesexy for the first time.

My music? I'm still rehearsing my new song. Hopefully, I'll record it this weekend, then put it on the other blog. That'll be the end of my demo - for now. Obviously, I'll continue to write songs. I need a lot more, man.

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Netwealth, funded by angels!

Wow! A new firm, Netwealth, has been given some money by some angels. Is this a first? 'They're angel investors, boss.' Exactly, Voice! Some angels have come down from heaven and given money to this new online discretionary wealth management service. 'No, Mikey! They're angel investors. For fuck's sake!' What do you mean? 'Never mind.'

Well, well ... / I don't know what the Voice's problem is today, dear reader(s). Maybe he got out of bed on the wrong side of the astral plane. / Anyway, this firm. The amusing thing is, these angels have actually given the money to an angel. 'Who?' Charlotte Ransom. 'Who's she?' She used to be a partner at Goldman Sachs. Now she's the chief executive and co-founder of Netwealth. 'Who's the other founder?' Ha! I don't know, don't care. I'm just looking at Charlotte's picture on LinkedIn. She's really lovely. I'm sure the firm will be a great success. 'Boss.' What? 'You're missing something.' What? 'Well, there must be a joke you can tell about her surname. I mean, it's crying out for a joke.' Maybe there is a joke, Voice, and maybe there ain't. But I'm not telling it, man. I think Charlotte's lovely. She's an angel. I don't want to upset her. 'Okay. / Of course, you do know that angels are supposed to have blonde hair?' That's a myth. 'Is it?' Well, I don't think there are any rules about it.

Christ! I really don't know what his problem is this morning. Such a miserable little voice!

...

Anyway, let's move on. / Politics. Jesus. This European Union/Brexit nonsense. I might not actually vote, you know? I hate both sides, really. But if I do vote, I think I'll vote to remain. 'Why?!' Well, because I reckon unelected European bureaucrats are the best protection against psychopathic conservatives. These pricks don't conserve anything but their own privilege. They're not remotely interested in Great Britain. And look at it this way: if you're going to be a slave, you might as well pick the nicest slave-master you can find. I would rather have some bloodless European nonentities ruling over us than characters like Iain Duncan Smith, Nigel Farage, Chris Grayling, Priti Patel ... and all the other monsters. You dig? 'But Jeremy Corbyn might win the next election, man!' Yeah, right.

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

[No. 416] What's your vision?

What do you see in your future?

And open your THIRD EYE![1], and maybe it's me[1], and open your THIRD EYE![2], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[1], and maybe it's me[2], and you can see your future from here[1], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[1], and you can see your future from here[2], and we all have a future - believe it or not[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[2], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[1], and we all have a future - believe it or not[2], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[1], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[2], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[1], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[2], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[1], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[2], and ignore that rainbow, please![1], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[1], and ignore that rainbow, please![2], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[2], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[1], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[2], and ... WHY?![1], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[2], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![1], and ... WHY?![2], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![1], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![2], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[1], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![2], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[1], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[2], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[1], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[2], and open your THIRD EYE![3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[2], and maybe it's me[3], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[3], and you can see your future from here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[3], and we all have a future - believe it or not[3], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[3], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[3], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[3], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[3], and ignore that rainbow, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[3], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[3], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[3], and ... WHY?![3], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![3], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![3], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[3], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[3], and

And open your THIRD EYE![1], and maybe it's me[1], and open your THIRD EYE![2], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[1], and maybe it's me[2], and you can see your future from here[1], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[1], and you can see your future from here[2], and we all have a future - believe it or not[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[2], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[1], and we all have a future - believe it or not[2], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[1], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[2], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[1], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[2], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[1], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[2], and ignore that rainbow, please![1], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[1], and ignore that rainbow, please![2], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[2], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[1], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[2], and ... WHY?![1], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[2], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![1], and ... WHY?![2], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![1], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![2], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[1], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![2], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[1], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[2], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[1], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[2], and open your THIRD EYE![3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[2], and maybe it's me[3], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[3], and you can see your future from here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[3], and we all have a future - believe it or not[3], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[3], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[3], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[3], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[3], and ignore that rainbow, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[3], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[3], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[3], and ... WHY?![3], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![3], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![3], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[3], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[3], and

And open your THIRD EYE![1], and maybe it's me[1], and open your THIRD EYE![2], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[1], and maybe it's me[2], and you can see your future from here[1], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[1], and you can see your future from here[2], and we all have a future - believe it or not[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[2], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[1], and we all have a future - believe it or not[2], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[1], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[2], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[1], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[2], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[1], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[2], and ignore that rainbow, please![1], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[1], and ignore that rainbow, please![2], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[2], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[1], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[2], and ... WHY?![1], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[2], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![1], and ... WHY?![2], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![1], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![2], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[1], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![2], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[1], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[2], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[1], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[2], and open your THIRD EYE![3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[2], and maybe it's me[3], and do YOU(!) have any vision at all? / I'm saying that invisible things need to be seen ...[3], and you can see your future from here[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... why? / Oh, you'll be surprised how much it helps[3], and we all have a future - believe it or not[3], and it's the SQUARES who have the most trouble / They can't see beyond their noses[3], and ... oh, I know, my friend(s)[3], and preaching to the converted kooks can be such a drag[3], and are YOU(!) coming with me, beyond the THREE? Ha! Only joking, but seriously, man ... what do you see?[3], and ignore that rainbow, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and I just can't stress the importance enough, you dig?[3], and you can look at me ... when I'm in your dreams/nightmares[3], and are you running now?! / ... my fool, you'll never be able to get away from me[3], and ... WHY?![3], and it's so easy to be scared and weak ... / ... oh, be brave and strong![3], and I only want to see you grow ... / YOU COULD BE A MYSTIC MONSTER!!![3], and running when you should be spinning is a big mistake[3], and you could be so DIZZY(!)  / ah, this way ...[3], and I suppose it's your life / but it breaks my heart that you're so free ... for the time being[3], and

Paul Tudor Jones is cutting fees in his flagship hedge fund!

That's good news, eh? Is it the BVI one? I don't know. Maybe. It doesn't matter. Investors will be happy. Fees are going from 27 per cent to 25 per cent, and from 2.75 per cent to 2.25 per cent. I mean, I should think. 'Boss, you're not making any sense!' Paul Tudor Jones is cutting fees, man, with his Tudor Investment Corporation. That's the news.

The Tudor group of companies ("Tudor Group") is a group of affiliated entities engaged in the management of client and proprietary assets. Paul Tudor Jones II formed Tudor Investment Corporation, the first of the Tudor Group companies, in 1980. The Tudor Group manages assets across fixed income, currency, equity and commodity asset classes and related derivative instruments in the global markets for an international clientele. The investment strategies of the Tudor Group include, among others, discretionary global macro, quantitative global macro (managed futures), quantitative equity systems and discretionary equity long/short.

You see? There's a whole group! 'Yes, we know about the firm, or the group, whatever. But you haven't explained the cuts properly. Which one is the management fee? Which one is the profits?' Well, if you don't know, Voice, you're an amateur, and I don't even want to talk to you about it. 'Oh, right.' My readers will know. 'Great!' Why are you getting so upset? 'It's just very slapdash, that's all.' I’ve got things on my mind, yeah? Things more important that anything this Paul Tudor Jones is doing.

Jesus [save me]! And I haven't even written about this Paul guy much. I don't know why not. He's pretty famous, ain't he? 'Tony Robbins is his life coach, do you know that?' Yes, I know. 'Oh.' He's been advising him for years. It's why Mr Jones - 'Er, Mr Tudor' - Mr Tudor Jones is so successful. 'Tony Robbins has been running his funds then?' No, he hasn't! You don't understand anything. You should shut your mouth. 'I don't have a mouth!' Tony Robbins gets people into a peak state so they can do things for themselves. 'So, he's a shaman?' Well, I ...

Jesus H. Christ!!! Uh, never mind, reader(s). Just never mind, all right? What does it matter? 'It doesn't matter, Mikey.' I wish I had stayed in bed this morning. You can't explain anything to anyone. [It's not just disembodied voices from the astral plane.] People only understand what they want to understand - and in their own way. It's why the world is such a mess, and why we have such awful politicians. It's also why we have such awful voters. / However, I'm not discussing politics. I ain't soulless enough, you dig?

...

Music! What am I listening to? 'You haven't put anything on yet!' No, give me a second. [A second passes.] 'Bleach by Nirvana! When did you buy this?' The other day. About a Girl is a cool song.

My music? I probably won't record my new song until the weekend. I want to get myself into a peak state first.

Monday, 23 May 2016

Kyle Kloc?

Is it too early in the morning for Kyle Kloc? That's the question. I should really be frying different fish. However, I'm dealing with this Fisch. 'Christ! Boss, I can tell you it's too early in the morning for talking in stupid riddles. What are you going on about?' Calm down, Voice. Kyle Kloc is a genuine human being, just like me, just like the readers. He even has a job. A new job! 'Oh.' Yes. Our Kyle is a senior portfolio manager at Fisch Asset Management now. 'Great! Fisch Asset Management! Never heard of them.' It's a Swiss firm, based in Zurich. 'Is that all you know?' No.

Okay, well, this is where the internet comes in handy ...

Independence and growth have been our hallmarks ever since we were founded by Kurt Fisch and Dr. Pius Fisch in 1994. Our independence rests on ownership of all shares of Fisch Asset Management AG by the Executive Committee and employees. Our growth has increased our ranks to 68 colleagues today, including one of Europe's largest convertible bond teams.

'Nice. Do they have a philosophy though? That's what we need to know.' Ha! You've been looking over my shoulder. Of course they have a philosophy!

We view a clearly formulated, systematically practised corporate culture as the basis for our long-term success as an asset manager. Transparency, open communication, mutual respect, teen spirit, entrepreneurial incentives and deranged mysticism therefore constitute the principles of our corporate culture. We are proud of the tremendous success that Fisch has achieved over the past 20 years thanks to this enduring corporate philosophy. We are also convinced of the need to continue along this positive path - as long as we remain true to our principles.

'Ah, that's culture. I want to know about the philosophy.' It's the same thing, Voice. Corporate culture, corporate philosophy. Don't split hairs. They've got principles too, which I find refreshing.

Uh. Obviously, this tells us nothing about Mr Kloc. 'Come on! What about Mr Kloc?' There's nothing about him much. He's an expert, but ... 'I understand.' There's not much to say. And there's no picture on his LinkedIn profile, so ... I like to see a picture, you know? 'Yeah.' I can tell a lot from a picture. Does our Kyle have a mystical face? We just don't know. 'He probably does. He probably has a deranged mystical face from delving too far into the mysteries.' Ha! Well, I hope he does. He'll need it at Fisch.

...

Er ... anything else? No.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Rising number of unicorn companies ... for the love of Christ!

I don't know what's going on, dear reader(s). I just get sent this stuff. Yes, it's the Thursday afternoon/evening PR email, back by popular demand.

Apparently, people are selling unicorns now, or manufacturing them. Probably manufacturing them first. 'How on earth do you manufacture a unicorn, boss?!' Well, it's a scam, Voice, ain't it? You take a white horse and stick a horn on its forehead. Then you sell it to any mug punter you can find. It's shocking, really.

Why the lovely Rebecca thinks I should be interested though is anyone's guess. And there's nothing I can do about it, anyway. The police need to get involved.

'Hey, boss, have you read the email?' Er ... no. 'Bloody hell!'

Hey Michael

I hope you are well and enjoying your week so far.

I'm getting in touch with a press release highlighting the increasing number of billion-dollar digital businesses (otherwise known as Unicorn Companies) emerging in the UK.

In order to be considered a "unicorn company" businesses must meet the following criteria:

1) A tech company with "a bias towards internet/software"
2) Founded in 2000 or later
3) Be worth $1 billion or more if it were to be sold or floated

In their own unique report, digital recruitment specialists Forward Role explored the concept of unicorns around the world, and how their numbers are growing both in Europe and the UK. They also spoke to a number of experts - some from companies that are on the verge of unicorn status - who have exclusively explained what it takes to hit the all-important $1 billion mark.


Oh, okay. 'By the way, I added the numbers, boss. There were bullet points in the email.' Well, why did you replace the bullet points with numbers, for God's sake?! 'Because they wouldn't copy, man. It's no big deal.' Ha! No big deal to you maybe.

Sorry, Rebecca, love, if you're reading this. I know you put a lot of work into these emails. My intern is actually a certified idiot. 'He doesn't pay me!' Shut up!

...

Ah, that's enough. NOW is when I start enjoying my week. Have a nice weekend, reader(s).

Simon King has got a new job at T. Rowe Price!

This is good news. Very good news. Guess what the job is, Voice. 'I don't know, boss. I give up. Tell me.' Simon is going to be the head of T. Rowe Price's client relationship management. 'Oh.' He was doing the same thing at Woodford Investment Management. (Actually, his LinkedIn profile says he is still at the firm. Maybe he is, maybe he is. I don't know. What do I know?) But this is a great job to have. Well done, Simon, mate! 'What's the big deal, boss? Why is this job so great?' Think about it, man. Client relationship, yeah? You just go to restaurants, nightclubs, pubs ... and all the time! 'You mean he'll be entertaining clients?' Yes, Voice. It's basically the best job in the world. And I presume T. Rowe Price will be giving our Simon a MASSIVE(!) expense account. 'Ha! He's going to be living the life of Riley!' Yes. Definitely.

Well, well ... eh?

Anything - 'Oh, boss ... that Dodd-Frank thing from yesterday.' What about it? 'Dodd and Frank are two people.' Shut up! I'm not having that! 'I'm serious, man.' Shut it! Doddy Frank is a dear friend of mine now. 'Since when?' Since last night. 'Ha! I understand. He's a thought-form. Jesus! Your conceptual stuff is dangerous.' Don't be silly.

...

Anything else? I ain't really in the mood for finance. I'm sure Simon King will be successful at T. Rowe Price, but let's move on, yeah? I've finished my song! And it's a real breakthrough moment. (I've got to rehearse it now, and then record it.) I was thinking this morning, my first "new" song from FIVE(!!!) years ago was a piece of crap called Gilly Marie. (I wrote other songs when I was younger - as you know. Over twenty-five years ago ... boy!) But I must have had the potential then to do better, so why didn't I? 'You couldn't.' No, man, Tony Robbins says people don't know what they're capable of. I mean, they underestimate their abilities, most of the time. 'Christ! Not Tony Robbins again! They could be overestimating their abilities.' Hey! Tony is the man, man! I won't hear a word said against him. I've been watching one particular video of his nearly every day for the last few weeks. 'Oh, so he wrote your song.' No, I wrote it. Oh, you don't understand! You'll never understand.

Dear reader(s), the Voice doesn't understand. However, I suggest you check Tony Robbins out if you're not already familiar with him.

What else? Er ... I'll be writing a PR email post tonight. Laters.

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

[No. 415] Poor Mr Dodd Frank!

We won't let anyone kick his head in, will we?

And the strong must protect the weak![1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[1], and the strong must protect the weak![2], and I'm serious, so serious[1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[2], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[1], and I'm serious, so serious[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[1], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[2], and I'm very serious[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[2], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[1], and I'm very serious[2], and come closer, here[1], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[2], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![1], and come closer, here[2], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[1], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![2], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[1], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[2], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[1], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[2], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![1], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[2], and ... killers!!![1], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![2], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[1], and ... killers!!![2], and YOU is THEY - ?[1], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[2], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[1], and YOU is THEY - ?[2], and thank God we are not them![1], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[2], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[1], and thank God we are not them![2], and the strong must protect the weak![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[2], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[3], and I'm serious, so serious[3], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[3], and I'm very serious[3], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[3], and come closer, here[3], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![3], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[3], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[3], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[3], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![3], and ... killers!!![3], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[3], and YOU is THEY - ?[3], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[3], and thank God we are not them![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[3], and

And the strong must protect the weak![1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[1], and the strong must protect the weak![2], and I'm serious, so serious[1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[2], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[1], and I'm serious, so serious[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[1], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[2], and I'm very serious[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[2], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[1], and I'm very serious[2], and come closer, here[1], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[2], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![1], and come closer, here[2], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[1], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![2], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[1], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[2], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[1], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[2], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![1], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[2], and ... killers!!![1], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![2], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[1], and ... killers!!![2], and YOU is THEY - ?[1], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[2], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[1], and YOU is THEY - ?[2], and thank God we are not them![1], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[2], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[1], and thank God we are not them![2], and the strong must protect the weak![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[2], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[3], and I'm serious, so serious[3], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[3], and I'm very serious[3], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[3], and come closer, here[3], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![3], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[3], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[3], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[3], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![3], and ... killers!!![3], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[3], and YOU is THEY - ?[3], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[3], and thank God we are not them![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[3], and

And the strong must protect the weak![1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[1], and the strong must protect the weak![2], and I'm serious, so serious[1], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[2], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[1], and I'm serious, so serious[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[1], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[2], and I'm very serious[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[2], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[1], and I'm very serious[2], and come closer, here[1], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[2], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![1], and come closer, here[2], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[1], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![2], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[1], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[2], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[1], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[2], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![1], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[2], and ... killers!!![1], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![2], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[1], and ... killers!!![2], and YOU is THEY - ?[1], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[2], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[1], and YOU is THEY - ?[2], and thank God we are not them![1], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[2], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[1], and thank God we are not them![2], and the strong must protect the weak![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[2], and who is stronger than me? / and who is weaker than poor Mr Dodd Frank?[3], and I'm serious, so serious[3], and Mr Frank, my friend, if YOU(!) are here ... can I call you Doddy? Oh, please, man[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND with ...[3], and I'm very serious[3], and Doddy, Doddy, Doddy, a-ROUND with us, oh, you can be a mystic kook if you want[3], and come closer, here[3], and kooks, outsiders, freaks, weirdos, nutters, I say ... HELLO(!) to all of you, uh, hello![3], and ... WE ARE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY[3], and I will wrap you up in cotton wool and hide you where Greg Stillson will never find you[3], and, ha! ... or Biff Tannen[3], and SQUARES like to imagine there's no sense in nonSENSE / oh, they are so wrong![3], and ... killers!!![3], and there is no Dodd-Frank / There is only Mr Dodd Frank / You must accept this[3], and YOU is THEY - ?[3], and we have to take their world apart ... one word at a time, and one meaning of their word at a time[3], and thank God we are not them![3], and meaning is an illusion ... / My square(s), I offer you sounds, yes, sounds only[3], and