Monday, 27 April 2015

Roman Shukhman will one day leave JPMorgan for Aesir Capital Management

Oh, I've played my guitar for two hours, now I'm going to write about the future of Roman Shukhman. He's going to leave JPMorgan. (Over in America.) I know it. I can feel it. I can see it, just like Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone.

I don't actually care. It's none of my business. And you shouldn't care, reader(s). It's none of your business. But, er ... / Our Roman has traded credit derivatives before. Yeah, yeah. He will trade them again. Thank God, eh?! I mean ... it's a relief, man! The good news is, he's not a toilet trader. He doesn't have problems, desires ... I doubt he's been anywhere near the Tottenham Court Road. / It should be so simple, this post. Easy in the afternoon with a bit of melancholy. However, Mark Fishman is involved. FEAR! I have no idea who this Mark Fishman is. I suppose he's okay. (I'm guessing. I'm praying.) Not crazy or nothing, like me and the kooks. I don't know.

...

Let's forget about it!!! / Let me put my love into you, babe. Yes, I'm listening to AC/DC again.

I've worked out my guitar playing average for the last fourteen months. I've played two hours twenty minutes every day. That's like, what? Er, 420 (long) concerts in a row, day after day.

I need to get more melodic with my solos definitely. However, I hardly make a wrong move these days. I'll be like Angus Young soon. Running around in a pair of shorts with a schoolboy hat.

...

I'll write some finance shit again on Wednesday. Be patient. My head is all fucked up at the moment.

[Blah blah blah, it don't matter ************//////????????????!!!!!! who cares? Blood and fire, a-ROUND NOTHING FORGET IT YOU DON'T KNOW@@@@@@@ what can you say why say it please I've typed over it NOW HA! HA! HA! - chaos come and get it, you can't find me, you'll never know, so ... ah, so what?]

God is waiting for me in the cave. I might go soon. We'll get him when he comes back. "He's not coming back."

...

Uh, it's just fragments. My brain is like this sometimes. My soul. My consciousness.

Never mind. It's a great way to make a living!

Peace and quiet. Bring it on! Cherry bakewells, and a cup of tea. / Laters.

One of these nights is RIGHT NOW!

I don't give a shit about The Eagles. They can do what they want to do. I have my own life to live.

Well, well ... / I don't want to write about money. And I don't want to write about the economy. I ain't interested in no economy, like those sick conservatives, animals. It's all they care about. They're not interested in flowers. They're not interested in sunsets. They ain't got no time for human feelings. All they know is the economy, like it's the most important thing in the universe. 'Ha!' And they can't even get that right! That's the funny thing. Massive debt, crap jobs. I don't have to explain this to anyone with intelligence.

So, let's move on, yeah?

We're gonna find out, pretty mama, what turns on your lights. You got your demons. You got desires. Well, I got a few of my own.

Yeah, yeah ... / I'm writing in the night again. The night time is the right time. I'll be putting Apollo on in the minute. I'll be listening to it by myself, I don't care. One with the cosmos on a night like this? I'm used to it.

Tomorrow/today, I'm going to play my guitar. I might put some new strings on. I might try to record my songs. / I've got to keep going. One day, I'll be gone. Where's Mikey?! You will say. But I won't be here.

I'm fed up, man. / I just want some peace ... people bothering me, think they know it all, they got the answer, the key, but there wasn't even a question, they love mystery, their own mystery, which they've got to add to mine, just one sane person who ain't phoney, what a treat that would be, a quiet, civilized one, no nonsense, clarity!

The sickness of the world, it comes to me, I attract it, I am ... Spartacus! I am Michael Fowke! 'I am Michael Fowke!' Shut up, Voice. You are a nutcase, son. 'Well, yeah, I work for you, don't I?' Oh, dear reader(s), you don't have to be mad to work on this blog, but it certainly helps. I've had it all, the sewer of the internet comes my way.

What am I going on about? It's late. I'm deranged. Imagine if I had a hedge fund. 'Ha!' How long would it last? Who would invest? So, please. No nonsense, no insanity. I'm just a song and dance man. Let me sing for you, please!

Here's the news: Mad people believe anything they want. As long as they are happy, I won't interfere.

Good night, friend(s).

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Why is Tesco failing?

I say it's because of austerity, and benefit cuts. As a result, millions of shoppers have moved to cheaper supermarkets or even food banks.

If people ain't got no money, they ain't gonna spend no money, man. However, this is far too intellectual for conservatives to understand. 'Idiots!' They're not protecting capitalism. They are destroying it. 'Shame!' Yeah. What can we do?

The end is nigh. So be it. / I would prefer capitalism to survive and for EVERYONE(!) to profit from it. 'Me too!' But I'm not in charge. Other people think they know better than me. Giants of our time like David Cameron, George Osborne, and Iain Duncan Smith.

...

Well, well ... / One more week bites the dust. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow? Pub? I don't know.

Oh, by the way, democracy? Do we want it? Yes or No? 'Er ...' If "Yes" it means Labour must be allowed to govern with the help of the SNP - if people decide to vote that way (as looks likely). If "No" the Tories (and Rupert Murdoch) will have to persuade the armed forces to make their move on May 8th. That's the choice.

Personally, I'm in the "Yes" camp.

[No. 310] Simon Young is a-ROUND!

Without his bass guitar, alas!

And here he comes! / Er ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[1], and here he comes! / Er ...[2], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[2], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![1], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[2], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[1], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![2], and ... oh dear![1], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[2], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[1], and ... oh dear![2], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![1], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[2], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[1], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[1], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[2], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[2], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![1], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[2], and I can believe anything ...[1], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![2], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![1], and I can believe anything ...[2], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[1], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![2], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[1], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[2], and here he comes! / Er ...[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[2], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[3], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[3], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![3], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[3], and ... oh dear![3], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[3], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![3], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[3], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[3], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![3], and I can believe anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![3], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[3], and

And here he comes! / Er ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[1], and here he comes! / Er ...[2], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[2], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![1], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[2], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[1], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![2], and ... oh dear![1], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[2], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[1], and ... oh dear![2], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![1], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[2], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[1], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[1], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[2], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[2], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![1], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[2], and I can believe anything ...[1], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![2], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![1], and I can believe anything ...[2], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[1], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![2], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[1], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[2], and here he comes! / Er ...[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[2], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[3], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[3], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![3], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[3], and ... oh dear![3], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[3], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![3], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[3], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[3], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![3], and I can believe anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![3], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[3], and

And here he comes! / Er ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[1], and here he comes! / Er ...[2], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[1], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[2], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![1], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[2], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[1], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![2], and ... oh dear![1], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[2], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[1], and ... oh dear![2], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![1], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[2], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[1], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[1], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[2], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[2], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![1], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[2], and I can believe anything ...[1], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![2], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![1], and I can believe anything ...[2], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[1], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![2], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[1], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[2], and here he comes! / Er ...[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[2], and, well ... I'm really not sure about the bass guitar ... maybe our Simon plays the drums / I mean, they need a new drummer[3], and he's wasted at Aviva Investors ...[3], and it doesn't matter / we should rejoice / Simon Young is a-ROUND here / Oh, watch him spin so DIZZY(!)!!![3], and I love it when a new spinner joins the team! / Mystic kooks make the world go a-ROUND[3], and ... oh dear![3], and Mr Young has ice cream all over his face, and his hair, and his shirt ... / It's a good job he's not needed in the office[3], and ... is he a kid or something?!?![3], and Trevor Green says: Oh, never mind / Well, well ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Man, it never gets old, does it?[3], and can YOU(!) feel the sun? / this place can be anywhere / use your imagination[3], and, er ... UK equity fund manager with over eighteen years industry experience? Strangers things have happened at sea![3], and I can believe anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... want to believe, I can tell / Your mental health is at stake, for the love of Christ![3], and ... / Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye[3], and ... / Hello, hello, hello[3], and

Simon Young has joined Aviva Investors!

Yippee! He was a fund manager at BlackRock, but now - 'Er, boss, isn't he the younger brother of Angus and Malcolm Young from AC/DC? I think he plays bass.' What?! No, Voice, Simon Young is a fund manager. 'Oh.' Christ. (He does have a bass guitar though.) / Dear reader(s), as I was just saying/writing, Simon has joined Aviva Investors from BlackRock and he's working on the UK Equity fund and the UK Equity Income fund. 'Really?' Uh. Well, no. Our Simon is in the park with the rest of them, enjoying the summer sunshine, and eating ice cream, but the clients don't need to know that, do they? 'Let's hope they don't read your blog, Mikey.' Ha! 'Ha!' Hardly anyone reads my blog, man. Just a small bunch of kooks. And that's the way I like it. I'm special. They're special. One day, we'll all get beyond the THREE. 'You've got to have a dream!' / Anyway, Simon's clients will probably just look at his LinkedIn profile: Resourceful, motivated equities fund manager looking to achieve superior risk adjusted returns for my clients. 'Wow! He sounds pretty enthusiastic.' Yeah, yeah. Do you believe everything you read?

...

Oh, no more. Please! I'm in a bad/depressed mood this morning. / I'll be taking Simon for a spin after lunch, for my sins, No. 310. 'Beyond the THREE?!' No, I doubt we'll manage it today, Voice.

Anything else? 'Politics!' Politics? I want to emigrate to Scotland. Is that enough politics for you? 'Yes. I love them apples, boss.' Good!

Yeah, I'm in a bad mood. I haven't even got any music on. / I think I'm reaching the point - society has pushed me far enough now - where I will start to do anything. So far, I've only been writing anything. But "doing" is another matter. A completely different ball game!

Lunch? I'm going to try to cheer myself up with a luxury egg sandwich. I'm not too hopeful.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

[No. 309] We must learn to sail in high winds

The sea will never rest!

And I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[1], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[2], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[2], and existentialism is the way![1], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[1], and existentialism is the way![2], and my guitar?! YES![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[2], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[1], and my guitar?! YES![2], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[1], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[2], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[1], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[2], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[1], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[2], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[1], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[2], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![1], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[2], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[1], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![2], and I could, can ... whatever![1], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[2], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[1], and I could, can ... whatever![2], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![1], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[2], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![2], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[3], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[3], and existentialism is the way![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[3], and my guitar?! YES![3], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[3], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[3], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[3], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[3], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[3], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![3], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[3], and I could, can ... whatever![3], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![3], and

And I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[1], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[2], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[2], and existentialism is the way![1], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[1], and existentialism is the way![2], and my guitar?! YES![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[2], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[1], and my guitar?! YES![2], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[1], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[2], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[1], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[2], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[1], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[2], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[1], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[2], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![1], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[2], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[1], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![2], and I could, can ... whatever![1], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[2], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[1], and I could, can ... whatever![2], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![1], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[2], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![2], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[3], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[3], and existentialism is the way![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[3], and my guitar?! YES![3], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[3], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[3], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[3], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[3], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[3], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![3], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[3], and I could, can ... whatever![3], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![3], and

And I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[1], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[2], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[1], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[2], and existentialism is the way![1], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[1], and existentialism is the way![2], and my guitar?! YES![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[2], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[1], and my guitar?! YES![2], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[1], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[2], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[1], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[2], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[1], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[2], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[1], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[2], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![1], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[2], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[1], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![2], and I could, can ... whatever![1], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[2], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[1], and I could, can ... whatever![2], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![1], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[2], and I could DISAPPEAR off to a cave ... or I could take to the sea, the cruel sea of life that never rests[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![2], and ... / ... or the beautiful sea of death[3], and ... 'He's not coming back!' / Yes, Voice, that's what you would tell them, my faithful friend, the voice of my soul ...[3], and existentialism is the way![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here or over there ... I could forget YOU(!) and remember GOD(!)[3], and my guitar?! YES![3], and squares will stay with what they know - oh, thoughts they know, and feelings they know / they are not curious about KOOK LIFE[3], and the misery is in EVERYTHING(!)[3], and can we focus, please, to see the LIGHT- ? / oh, where is it? I'm trying so hard, man / but where is it?[3], and let's sing another song, boys / this one has grown old and bitter[3], and I like to think that a commitment to music can be a sort of suicide, a cutting off from mundane life[3], and ... we could, we, could, we, get so DIZZY and so FAST that NOTHING(!) would ever matter / it's a fantasy![3], and I'm looking for a kook to match me / oh, who has the mind to get so lost and never come back?[3], and I could, can ... whatever![3], and I'll go back in time looking for a bliss that belongs to the pure of heart only[3], and ... in my ... our fantasy ... LOVE(!) will keep us together![3], and

Russell Brand is all right by me

You got a problem with that, dear reader(s)? I don't think Russell Brand is an idiot, man. And I don't think he's a hypocrite. Oh, he's a self-made millionaire who goes on about the poor all the time. So what? He's done well to make his money and get a bit (a lot) of security for himself. Now he can concentrate on the evils of the world. Is that so terrible? He's not even that rich by hedgie or banker standards. I think he's only worth about £10 million. 'That's nothing, boss!' It's nothing at all, Voice. But Rupert Murdoch (and others) who is worth about £6 billion [? I'll have to check ...] keeps attacking him. Why? Apparently, it's upsetting that poor people should be able to eat or keep a roof over their head. I don't understand it!!! / Actually, The Sun has left Brand alone lately. Maybe because the paper doesn't want to remind its readers of real issues at this sensitive time, the general election. (By the way, I enjoy reading The Sun ... for reasons best known to myself ... however, I ignore the laughable politics. Why would working-class readers be remotely interested in protecting the interests of the 1 per cent? 'Only if they're brainwashed, boss.' Exactly, Voice!) / Er ... yeah, The Guardian has a piece on Brand today. (I'm linking to it even though I absolutely despise the new website.) The comments are interesting. A lot of slaves attacking Brand. 'How do you know they're slaves?' Well, how many billionaires are going to waste their time leaving comments on a newspaper website, man? 'Good point!' Obviously, these people think it is only a matter of time before they join the 1 per cent themselves. Such delusion! And this isn't communism, my attitude. Oh no! I take my hat off to anyone who is able to escape "normal" life and join the ranks of the super-rich. (I think guys like Aristotle Onassis are great.) However, it hardly ever happens, son, daughter. The game is rigged, my friend(s). Capitalism is set up for the few at the top. Occasionally, a footballer or a pop star is allowed to join them. (It's good PR.) Most of the time though, capitalism is just slavery. Pure slavery!

Well, well ... / Russell Brand upsets the rich because like John Lennon before him he's joined the rich (in a small way, only £10 million, remember) but he has refused to keep his mouth shut about the poor. That's his crime! [I've also noticed that quite a few left-wing journalists have it in for him. Why? Because they are stinking rich through their mummies and daddies. It's money they haven't worked for. It makes all the difference.] Er ... yeah, this is a bit chaotic, this post. I don't care! Deal with it! I'm just writing what comes. It's not the end of the world!

...

Er ... / Anyway, I've got it out of my system. Yes! / I have a nice cheese sandwich for lunch. Crisps. Small blackcurrant cheesecake. Can of Coke. The Sun! Laters.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Who on earth is Carlton Hood?!

Who on earth, on earth, on this earth, right now. Not one hundred million years from now. That would be silly. But right now. Who on earth is Carlton Hood?!

Oh, I'm in a funny mood this morning, dear reader(s). 'Christ. What's new?' Yes. So you've been warned. The best thing I can do, I guess, is just write it out. Write it out of my system, you dig? Then I'll be able to go about my day, play my guitar, whatever. And you'll be able to get back to managing your funds or ... I don't know. I'm not judging you. I hope you're happy ...

The problem is, Carlton Hood is the customer director at Old Mutual Wealth. And he has things to say. 'Why is that a problem, Mikey?' It's a problem, Voice, because our Carlton isn't taking a long-term view of life. I mean, read this: My role is about the positioning and prosperity of Old Mutual Wealth that now encompasses businesses like Intrinsic and Quilter Cheviot. Our aim is to offer the best possible service to advisers, then to equip them to offer simple and competitive solutions to their customers. What are we supposed to make of that, man?! 'Er ... it seems reasonable, boss.' What?! One hundred million years from now? 'Oh right. I see your point.' In the future, the long-term future, there ain't gonna be no Old Mutual Wealth, yeah? Also, there ain't gonna be no advisers, and there ain't gonna be no fucking customers. None! Not anywhere. All gone! 'Yeah.' What we're going to have, Voice, is jungle, probably, and lots of it! 'What, in Great Britain?' Or forests. Jungles or forests, son. I'm talking globally, you understand?

Well, well ... / I suppose it's unfair, picking on Carlton like this. But he was the first person I came to when I switched on the internet earlier. I could have chosen the prime minister or the manager of Manchester United. Or anyone. Even YOU(!).

So, I'm going to play my guitar for the rest of the day, but I'm not going to take it too seriously.

...

Anything else?

'Politics?' Jesus. Politics?! Do we have to? 'Yes! Pretend we're living in the present, Mikey. Forget the future!' Okay. I'll give it my best shot, Voice. / Er ... politics, here, now, Great Britain, 2015, April ... 'Come on!' Let me focus, man! / Nicola Sturgeon? Oh, I'm liking her more and more, reader(s). She should be leader of the Labour Party. What I really like about her is the effect she has on conservatives. You know, all the foaming at the mouth, the gibbering, the hysterics. I would pay to see it, and yet this entertainment is totally free!

Monday, 20 April 2015

Is Jon Corzine going to launch a new hedge fund?

Well, well ... a new hedge fund. You know, dear reader(s), Jon Corzine, the MF Global guy? Yeah. / No, no, no ... I doubt it. He's retired, isn't he? Christ! Why do people spread these rumours? Can't we let the man enjoy his retirement in peace?

'Mikey, I've just got off the phone to Jon's lawyer.' Oh yeah. Sure you have. 'Well, do you want to hear what he said to me, yes or no?' Go on then. 'His lawyer said: Jon Corzine is not managing anybody's money and has not asked a single investor to put money into a fund. He is gratified that others might want to invest with him.' Yeah, it's a bullshit story, Voice. A nothing story. But this is Monday morning, so ...

Never mind. Uh. God. I don't know. / Jon still has legal trouble with MF Global, I think. The last thing he wants is more finance in his life. This "story" was obviously dreamed up by someone who thinks finance is EVERYTHING. Well, it ain't everything, man. There are other things you can do, you dig? You can play with Lego. You can eat ice cream in the park. USE YOUR IMAGINATION, dear reader(s). There is a whole world of OPPORTUNITY out there!

...

Anything else?

The general election. Is there any way they can all lose? I think that would be the best result. / My only consolation is ... there is NOTHING anyone can do, about the country, any country. We are all doomed. Twenty thousand years from now the earth will be lovely, real lovely, untroubled. My prediction.

Music? I'm listening to John Lee Hooker. Yes, I'm a crawlin' king snake and I rules my den. Oh, I've got the blues so bad! Well, no, actually, I'm all right today.

Guitar? Man, I've been thinking it's a BAD idea to become an all-round guitarist ... someone who can play everything in all styles. I'm going to focus on rock/pop rhythm and basic lead guitar - and try to become really good at that shit. However, I don't need finger-picking, tapping, sweep-picking, rhythm with bass notes in the folk style, none of that! / Forget about Jeff Beck! B.B. King? He's a great lead guitarist, but "they" say ... he doesn't know any chords! So he can't play rhythm. And The Edge? Great at rhythm. But he doesn't know much about lead. Well, he can play a bit. Achtung Baby is all right.

...

Whisky and women almost wrecked my life ... I had a lot of money at one time.

I love YOU(!) too hard to leave you.

Thursday, 16 April 2015

Anthony Scaramucci has got his own TV show!

Oh, man, I'm absolutely gutted about this! It's over in America, the show, so I won't be able to watch it. Damn! Damn!! Damn!!! I can't believe my bad luck these days. / Anyway, dear reader(s), the show is called Wall Street Week. It's on Fox, I think. Our Tony is the founder of SkyBridge Capital, and he has lovely American hair, and American eyes, and American teeth. The man was practically made for television, and I can't watch him! / Of course, reader(s), if you're over in America, if you're one of my devoted readers from the Land of the Free, you'll be all right. You'll be laughing, in fact. / You probably have great teeth as well, you bastard(s) or bitch(es). My teeth? My teeth are practically falling apart, the few I've got left. It's all that American Coca-Cola I keep drinking. Er ... which makes me think: Don't you drink your own fucking beverages over there? ('That's unpatriotic, that is!') I know Warren Buffett does. He drinks a barrel of Coke every day. But he can afford to replace his teeth once a month. I doubt you can do that, even if you're reasonably wealthy.

Christ. It's so depressing. 'Yes, boss.' I wish I hadn't started with this post now, Voice. I should have picked on a British fund manager, with a simple magazine column or something. The British guys are all like old man Steptoe. There's nothing to worry about with the British guys. They're comforting, you know?

...

Well, well ... / The end of another week. Thank God! I've struggled a bit. Yeah. Ah, I guess I'll see you next week. Laters.