Wednesday, 30 April 2008

TNS/GfK merger

Taylor Nelson Sofres and GfK are going to merge! When the news broke yesterday, TNS shares leapt 19 per cent to 204p. The new group, GfK-TNS, will become the second largest market research operator. Drinks all round!

I have been speaking to Maurice Marble III about this exciting news, and he told me, 'I ain't talking to you about no TNS motherfuckers. I don't care about this chickenshit merger. I once went for a job with those TNS *****. It was some new scientific research position using brain stuff that you don't need to know about. But they turned me down. Can you believe it? Those muthas turned me down. But not before I had to sit some stupid fucking tests. They put me in a room with a bunch of retards who couldn't even spell their own names, and I had to do basic sums I ain't done since school. Then some goddamn ridiculous English test. As if I were illiterate or something. Then the interview. Asking me all kinds of dumb-ass questions. But I passed all that shit. The interviewer even said I was a cool motherfucking dude - or words to that effect. But I didn't get the job. And no explanation neither. Maybe I was just too intelligent for those motherfuckers.'