This is a guest post by my dear friend Sir Bertram Banker.
Firstly, I would just like to thank Michael Fowke for giving me the opportunity to write in this splendid blog of his.
Now, down to business. I imagine many of you have been spitting blood over the expenses scandal in the House of Commons. Well, so have I. But there is a lot of nonsense being spoken about it in certain quarters, and I feel I must clear a few things up.
Let's take Stephen Fry. Was this man not convicted of credit card fraud? Yes, he was. And now he wants us to believe that it is okay to fiddle your expenses! Apparently, everyone does it. Well, even if this were true, it does not mean that MPs should. If journalists - for example - fiddle their expenses, who gives a shit? It is a matter for the companies that employ them. BUT POLITICIANS ARE PAID BY THE FUCKING TAXPAYER!!! It is our fucking money, and if we want to get upset about it we will. And we do not need a leftie snob pointing out that it is a bourgeois obsession. I might also add that politicians are supposed to be our rulers (whether we like it or not), and so they should set themselves high standards if they want our respect and support. For without our respect and support, they would be nothing more than gangsters. I fear we may have reached that point already.
Another thing. There are some idiots around who will tell you: it was all within the rules. Jesus H. Christ! THE POLITICIANS MADE THE FUCKING RULES!!! If a mugger takes your wallet and then has the barefaced cheek to tell you that it is within some pathetic rules he has made up, what are you to do? Are you to just accept it? No!
Finally, it is not enough that politicians apologize now and return a bit of cash. THEY COULD HAVE DONE THAT AT ANY TIME WITHIN THE LAST FEW YEARS. The police need to investigate. And dodgy politicians should be charged with fraud. IT HAPPENS IN THE REAL WORLD. If you are a dole cheat and you get found out, you get prosecuted. Simple.
