Monday, 28 September 2009

Hoare Capital, The Raft of the Medusa …

Yeah. Feel frozen. Will do best. Hoare Capital rescued whole bunch of financial nutjobs were zooming around on a raft on astral seas. Like Medusa. No dolphins! I that sharks were involved. Guys lucky to be alive.

O Master, feel frozen too. Which guys, exactly? I think we need know these foolish individuals.

O my child, Hoare Capital has rescued Richard Gathercole, Sergio Marques, Mark Rogers, Andrew Sheppard, Joe McGrath, Rufus Alcott and Rhona Herbert. Safe now in the firm’s credit, asset-backed securities, inflation teams.

Okay. But presume clowns no training financial shamanism. What were they doing on fucking raft?

Well, my child, as often happens with impressionable financial folk, decided to go astral trip of lifetime after merely glancing at my blog for a minute or so. Happens a lot. Bankers, traders. It's their overconfidence, you see. Think to themselves: 'Well, if that mad bastard Michael Fowke can do all shit, can too.'

Yeah, boss. Don't realize that you not mad bastard, but actually visionary like mates Rimbaud and Lautreamont, and mage like Crowley or Rasputin. Wankers!

O my child, I wouldn't go far as to call them wankers.

I call spade spade. And a wanker wanker. So sue me.

O my child, I am not going to sue disembodied voice. Would be laughed out of court. But back to the raft. Richard Gathercole - the leader - went deep, deep into his subconscious, dragging the rest of them in. Pathworking. Then Rufus Alcott found raft bobbing up and down in astral harbour. They all jumped on board. The next thing knew, raft was racing out to sea and were all clinging on dear life. Rhona fell off the raft one point and nearly got eaten by shark. Raft was completely out of control. Should have been using minds to steer bloody thing, but being amateurs they didn't know. Clueless! Saved them was a financial shaman at Hoare Capital just happened to be swimming in the astral sea of his dreams at the same time they were there. An amazing stroke of luck. Shaman managed to stop the raft. Gave them a piece of his mind. Which piece, cannot say. Took them back to the land of cold earth wanderers (normal reality). They're working at Hoare Capital now.

All's well that ends well.

Yes. Am relieved. Can't think.