Thursday, 13 May 2010

James Gorman: 'We have no reason to believe there is any substance behind any investigation that appeared in the Wall Street Journal article.'

What Wall Street Journal article? I didn't see any Wall Street Journal article! Isn't the WSJ behind a paywall, anyway? Murdoch is going to put all his papers' websites behind a paywall soon. That will be a smart move. I would be willing to pay £10 a day to read The Sun. Seriously. But then I'm as crazy as a shithouse rat, aren't I?

By the way, before I get all sticky with astral love and start ranting and raving off at a sublime mystical tangent like only Rimbaud and Lautreamont have ever delivered to an unappreciative audience until men and women of taste and refinement were able to see with new eyes and feel with open hearts, I think I should explain that the chief executive of Morgan Stanley, James Gorman, is defending his bank against allegations that it misled investors about mortgage derivatives it sold them. CDOs. Dead Presidents. And all that rap.

Jay-Z: 'There's heaven then there's hell'.

I have been to heaven. Suicidal thoughts took me to heaven, strangely enough. It was a fire in my head that rocked me. Nijinsky was right. God is fire in the head! Yeats knew it too: 'While on the shop and street I gazed, my body of a sudden blazed; and twenty minutes more or less, it seemed, so great my happiness, that I was blessed and could bless.' Or Graham Greene with his Russian roulette! Not sure that's true, but it's a good story nonetheless. The threat of a bullet in the brain will make everything seem all right again.

I have been to hell. Chaos took me there. Fortunately, I got back in one piece. Well, almost. Tinnitus was the price I paid. Is that hissing and buzzing the hissing and buzzing of hell? Rimbaud knew about hell: 'I ought to have a special hell for my anger, a hell for my pride - and a hell for sex; a whole symphony of hells!'

Yes, I have been to heaven and I have been to hell. It's different strokes for different Fowkes. On the higher levels and on the lower levels, I have seen it all! James Gorman has been to heaven. Yes, I'm pretty sure he has. It's the money that will take you, if you have enough of it. Sniff the cash in your wallet! It will take you higher. Sniff the cash in your purse! If you have a purse, that is. You should not feel ashamed. Let's celebrate diversity!

But has Mr Gorman ever been to hell? If the Curse of the Dead Presidents doesn't take him there, then I certainly will! It is something he should experience. I will be his Virgil! And he can write a book about it afterwards! Or at least an article in a friendly newspaper that wants to hear his side of the story.

This hasn't been so deranged, has it? I do have some self-control, you know.