Thursday, 29 July 2010

Stephen Couttie is staying positive

RAB Capital may have made a loss, but its chief executive, Stephen Couttie, is staying positive. And we should celebrate his resilience. This is the attitude that attracts money, like flies to the body of that sour financial journalist we left behind, torn, dismembered, scattered, bleeding, in our nightmare, which was actually a glorious dream. Or a nightmare, for him. How do you view the whole episode, in retrospect? It is quite clear to me that he died for our entertainment. The sweetness of his blood in our mouths, the trickles down our chins, ha! Ha ha ha! Oh, I see you. We laugh because we know it was the right thing to do. And we were the right people, at the right time, in the right place, right here. Here we are! Yes, we are still here, dancing on a cold earth, lonely in space, waiting for great wealth to grow from the seeds we planted in the City. But no journalists were harmed in the making of this insanity. It is only a fantasy. A vision of what is possible if you are willing to go beyond the human values that hold back the weak and the timid. Oh, the sadness! I have so many regrets!

We have to be positive. What is the alternative? I would not want to see any of us chained to a monster of negativity, a beast of misery, a foul socialistic creature, intent on dragging all of us beneath the waves of equality. Is that our destiny? No, no, no! It is our destiny to be special! To be rich! To be happy! Stephen Couttie knows this. That is why we will not find him wailing in the pit. He knows nothing of the pit. Only the sunshine above it. The blue sky. The white, fluffy clouds. A million miles away from the wretched one! Sailing out into the cosmos? Why not? Who will stop him? Not the wretched one.

Is the wretched one even aware of Stephen Couttie's situation? It was not his story, after all. This does not matter. He prowls around, hungry for news of failure. He would have heard. He would have rejoiced. So shall I name him? No. He is our little secret. Besides, he could be anyone. He could be a woman. Well, he certainly looks the sort who would wear a dress in the privacy of his own home.