Thursday, 2 September 2010

Who are Gerry Aherne, Victor Pina, and Nick Rundle?

Are they the men at Javelin Capital, the new asset manager that is being backed by Majedie Investments? Yes, they are. Well, two of them are. Gerry Aherne is the chief executive. Victor Pina is the chief investment officer. No one knows what Nick Rundle is. No one I've spoken to even believes he exists.

Let's concentrate on Nick. If we can. And we can, if we want. And we want, with such will. We are strong. I have willpower like a Nietzschean superman. I'm sure you do as well, dear reader(s). You're involved in this. It's too late to back out now. Let's try and give the man some reality. It's the least we can do. We imagine his soul. We create it. Look! He floats just out of reach. A beautiful soul! With astral eyes, we can see him. Let's bring him into our world. He'll be a fine product of our power. Large as life. Our little monster. Scary as death. Our horrendous freak. Full of beans. Our man of night. What potential! With the rotten teeth we have found for him, and the blue and brown eyes we plucked from those corpses, the twisted mouth we cut out in the mortuary, the crooked nose we stole, a couple of hairy ears - where did we get them? I can't remember. Never mind. Who cares? Every man needs an ear or two. Hair, blood, arms, legs. Flesh and bones galore! Let's piece him together. Let's make a man of him, literally. What will he look like? I hope he's not (or will not be) fussy. Beggars can't be choosers.

Look at him! He (it) exists! Can it speak, this body? Does it have a personality? No, the soul is still floating. Let's reel him in.

O Nick, do not be afraid. Come to us! We gave you your soul. Now we have prepared a body for you. Don't be ungrateful. Do you know of any other team of ghouls who would go to so much trouble? My readers and I really care for you. A few people are already saying you'll be nothing more than a thought-form jammed into a shell of random body parts. But they're ignorant wanderers on the cold earth. Let them scoff! They know nothing. And they are of no use to you. Think, Nick. Were they willing to lend a hand? No! When Javelin Capital was calling you, and wanting to believe in you, where were they? Standing on the sidelines, laughing, that's where. My readers and I were the ones who rose to the challenge. Come on, Nick. That's it. Gently, gently. Don't rush it. In you go! There, that wasn't so difficult, was it? What were you worried about, you silly thing?!

Dear reader(s), what a result! This is something you'll be able to tell your grandchildren about. If you want them to have nightmares. If you want them to grow up with a warped view of the world. Maybe we should keep this amongst ourselves, eh? We don't want social services taking an interest in our activities. Or the police.