Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Why was Kevin Connors sacked by Goldman Sachs?

Update (6.20pm): This is a terrible post, but I won't delete it. You need to know the truth about me. I am a sinner. I've had my soup. Now I have a killer migraine. Will my troubles ever end?

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It's a good question. And it's one that deserves an answer. Kevin Connors was the co-head of global foreign exchange at Goldman. He was a partner at the bank. He was looking forward to his bonus. Now, it's all ashes in his mouth. A kiss from the mouth of Satan. That is all it takes. It could happen to any of us.

I'm in a bit of a grim mood today, to be honest. Normally, I wouldn't write in such a mood. I would go for a walk in the park, or go around the shops, or listen to some depressing music, or stand and watch 'the frigid wind tousling the clouds'. Actually, I am listening to some depressing music, by Elliott Smith. He's the one who stabbed himself to death. Between The Bars is so beautiful. An awesome song. Though not the sort of song I'll be writing. I need MONEY. Sad fact of life. My life, anyway. I won't be able to defeat my enemies without it. And once I've made my 'fuck off' money, then we'll have some fun. Some people are going to be pissed at me. (And they thought they were already.) Oh dear. Never mind. I've just got a real mean streak in me, haven't I? And I don't even want to get rid of it. I must be a bad person. What other explanation could there be?

Yes, a depressing day. BUT I'M STILL WRITING! Is this a triumph of the will? Looks like it, doesn't it? But it's not. You don't need willpower if you attach massive pain to not writing. It's a psychological trick. Thank goodness for Anthony Robbins! Yes, I know he's very American, with his teeth and all. Don't let that put you off. He's changed my attitude.

Wasn't I supposed to be writing about Kevin Connors? Well, he's been kissed by Satan. Do we need to know anything else? It wasn't an internal compliance thing. Maybe he knows how I feel now. (I mean, feeling down. I've never been kissed by Satan.) Who can remember my manic high, my Steve Jobs post? How do I get back to that? Why am I feeling like this? I'm in a pit with a man who has been kissed by Satan. Not exactly a laugh a minute. I don't want to write about Kevin Connors. He's making me feel worse.

O Master, you're the Antichrist!!! This is the Antiblog!!!

Oh, I was wondering when you would pipe up. Who have you been talking to? Hello? He's gone. What a twat! Didn't even stop to explain himself. 'His calmness, like that of the old Zen teacher, suggests that all this hysteria about the impulses is senseless and unintelligent: the essence of right life is this - when you are hungry, eat; when you are tired, sleep. The book then is morally at odds with a great deal of Western literature, and it is incompatible with most European moral literature. Hunger blew much moralistic work of the time, like Ibsen's, apart.' So, the mystic child should calm down a bit. That was Robert Bly on Knut Hamsun's Hunger. There is no point in getting upset about things you consider demonic. Antichrist? Antiblog? Piss off!

Oh, by the way, would you like some tips on good blogging? I only have one (if you're interested): DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE DOING. Don't listen to all these bedwetters who say you shouldn't monetize your blog, or you shouldn't be on Blogger.com, or you should join a network of blogs, or you should suck the cock of the MSM. It's your life, my friend. Remember that. DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE DOING.

I'm perking up a bit. I'm perking up a bit! I might have vegetable soup for dinner. And some bread.