Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Marc Mezvinsky dreams of one day owning his own hedge fund

When he's finished with all the fucking skiing, of course. I was going to do that. I was going to waste my precious time on a ski slope, for months, years even. Then I was going to call a couple of my Goldman mates. I was going to trick them into starting a hedge fund with me. Then I woke up and realized I wasn't married to some well-connected Essex bimbo by the name of Chantelle or Chardonnay or whatever the fuck they're ....

Sorry. I'm just in a bad and bitter mood today. It always winds me up when I hear about rich people going skiing. Can't they be more original than that? What really makes me laugh though are all the semi-rich/vaguely-posh people who go skiing. There's nothing sadder, in my book. They want to be seen by the rich people. 'Oh, look at me. I'm here with you, on equal terms, almost.' Yeah, right. Fuck off and die, all of you. I mean that, sincerely, from the bottom of my dark and twisted heart.

Important: this is not a socialist rant. As if. I'm just saying that skiing is so incredibly naff. It's like driving a Rolls-Royce. Or wearing a Rolex watch. If rich people really want to know how to conduct themselves they should take a good look at the (later) life of Picasso. He wore simple, unflashy clothes, avoided the high life, owned a big house that was hardly decorated at all. Why? Because he knew that being 'Picasso' was enough. In today's money, he was worth billions, but nothing could top the name 'Picasso'. So that's what I'm saying. BE SOMETHING. Something impressive.

I apologize if I've upset anyone, but it's far better that this comes from a friend rather than from some God-awful lefty scumbag.