Monday, 8 August 2011

Tim Attias, Santiago Alarco, and Catherine Cripps are being sued by Rubicon Fund Management: shame!

Yes, it's a real shame. These fucking global macro funds cause so much misery. They should be banned! Sata Partners is to blame. It's a new hedge fund, set up by Tim Attias, with all that global macro nonsense, just like the Rubicon Global fund, apparently, and unfortunately. And there's his confederates, Alarco and Cripps. All three of these characters used to work together at Rubicon Fund Management, except Cripps, she worked somewhere else. They were close. Bosom buddies, you could say. And they seemed happy in their work, except Cripps. But then they did a runner. They wanted to do their own global macro thing. The people at Rubicon were gutted. Still are, in fact. Not only have they lost money and 'star' managers but they genuinely admired Tim and Santiago as human beings. I don't know about Catherine. Someone must have admired her, once. So now they want vengeance. Lots of it, sadly.

Actually, both sides want an out-of-court settlement. They want me to settle it, my way. (That's the old way, before I fell so in love and love changed me. Oh, it's deeper than ever!) Rubicon wants me to destroy the three desperadoes, with blood and fire, and the three desperadoes want me to destroy Rubicon, with - you can guess - my blood, my fire: my demonic passion, basically. Hasn't anyone told them the news? I'm not gallivanting around the world as Jack Pickles any more, killing and maiming. It was fun while it lasted, but I've got to think of the future of my soul. They won't listen though. Attias has been on the phone to me. 'Mikey, you're like a mystical Viking or something. You can raid the Rubicon office. Do it for me. Swoop down on them from the astral skies like, er, like a deadly eagle. You understand.' Well, I don't understand, of course. It's not possible to understand such ravings. I can't be a mystical Viking and a deadly eagle, can I? Not at the same time. I don't care how much money Tim has. But it was some moron from Rubicon who phoned me first. 'Mr Fowke, for us, suing these traitors just isn't enough. We want to see them really suffer. Real pain for sham friends! Didn't you once describe yourself as the King of Pain?' No, I didn't. That was Sting. This is the kind of shit I have to put up with. And readers wonder why I get so depressed.

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Is anything going on today? In the markets, I mean; anything exciting? Who cares? Not us! We don't care! Am I right?

I am right. I am always right. Children, we should let the markets fall and smash into a billion pieces. The time is coming when we will take over. I'll be the leader. You'll be the followers. Then the fools will see blood and fire. The power. I still have it. I can feel it. Children, can you feel it? Can you see it? Forget my words. Just look into my eyes.