Thursday, 28 June 2012

[No. 29] Sensation

And it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[1], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[1], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[2], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[1], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[2], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[1], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[2], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[2], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[3], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[3], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[3], and

And it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[1], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[1], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[2], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[1], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[2], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[1], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[2], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[2], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[3], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[3], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[3], and

And it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[1], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[1], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[2], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[1], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[2], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[1], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[2], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[1], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[2], and it's a big heat, and it's a crawling inside, and it's a spinning eyeball, yeah, and it's a funny gut, and it's plenty of colours, and it's sounds, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[2], and it's a wild clump of hair, and it's a piece of flesh, and it's a bit of bone, and it's an ache, ah, and it's hard, and it's soft, well, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's the smile of a demon, and it's the smile of an angel, wow!, and it's the destruction of time, and it's the destruction of space, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and it's a whiff of money, and it's a slice of power, and it's a cold slab of gold, and it's an electrical rumble through the nerves, shit!, and this is what I've reduced it to[3], and I'm taking all the souls and all the bodies of the idiots who have tried to resist, and I'm taking them and reducing them to something that will blow away in the wind[3], and I'm cutting all my experiences of the world, yes, I'm cutting them out, and I'll have no solid experiences ever again, and it'll be a light new buzz, right here, forever[3], and it's a slipping away from the things I need to avoid, and there's a fair chance it's my gift to the human race, and I am my words, and my words are reduced to this[3], and I'll burn it all down, and I'll destroy the illusions, and I'll sit out in the Nowhere feeling all this, and it's the best I can do - which means it's the best anyone can do[3], and

They want Bob Diamond to resign

The rotten slags of this world. But I could protect him if only he would pay me the half a million pounds he owes me.

Well, I've been speaking to Bobby. He phoned me earlier: 'Mikey, I'm in trouble, man. Serious trouble. (Yeah?) Mikey, did you hear me? (What do you want me to do about it, Bobby? I ain't your spiritual master no more.) I thought we were friends. (Where's my money?) You'll get your money. (Don't fuck me around, Bob. You're paying out a fortune to those FSA freaks. They'll be up to their necks in champagne, and caviar, and lap dancers. I worked for that money. You wouldn't be chief executive of Barclays if it wasn't for me.) Mike, I'm not going to be the chief much longer anyway. (What, you resigning?) I don't know. Who's this Lord Oakeshott? (Some political type. They make you look like an amateur, these politicians.) What am I going to do? (Pay me.) Mikey, do you have any idea how bad it will look in the media if I choose this moment to give £500,000 to some mystical shaman for "consultancy" work? They'll put me away in the nuthouse. I'll be in the padded room next to you! (Forget the money, then. I don't need it.) Are you serious? (Yeah. Fuck it. It means I'm getting closer to God. That can't be a bad thing.) Are you going to help me, Mike? (I don't know.) Please!'

What a mess, eh? I'm not sure why there's such a fuss about this LIBOR stuff. The whole world is corrupt. Why should bankers be any different? Are they supposed to be saints? / Dear reader(s), you will have to answer to God one day. Are you prepared?

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

[No. 28] Barclays fined £59.5 million by the FSA for some LIBOR and EURIBOR failings

And it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[1], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[2], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[2], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[1], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[2], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[1], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[2], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[1], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[2], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![1], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[2], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[1], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![2], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![1], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[2], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![2], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[3], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[3], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[3], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[3], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[3], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![3], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![3], and

And it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[1], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[2], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[2], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[1], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[2], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[1], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[2], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[1], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[2], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![1], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[2], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[1], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![2], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![1], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[2], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![2], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[3], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[3], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[3], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[3], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[3], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![3], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![3], and

And it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[1], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[2], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[1], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[2], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[1], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[2], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[1], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[2], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[1], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[2], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![1], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[2], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[1], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![2], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![1], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[2], and it's a big WHATEVER from me because I don't know what LIBOR is, and I don't know what EURIBOR is, and I have no DESIRE to know because I have a life, my friends, remember when you had a life?, oh, did you ever?[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![2], and it's funny how Bobby D can find the money for this dead shark (FSA) disgrace but he can't pay me the half a million he owes me, and one of these days I'm going to lose my fucking temper, I can see it happening[3], and PLEASE don't talk to me about no London Interbank Offered Rate, and PLEASE don't talk to me about no Euro Interbank Offered Rate, and will you ever learn?, and don't you know?: shamans are above and beyond[3], and if Bobby D can pay the £59.5 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $160 million, and if Bobby D can pay the $200 million, where the FUCK is my £500,000?!, and Lloyd was right about this punk, and I should have listened[3], and when Viniar wanted to rip Bobby's head off, I should have just let him get on with it, because I ain't got a pot to piss in now, and I performed shamanic miracles for that bastard, and it's down to me he's chief executive[3], and Tracey McDermott can talk all she wants about the integrity of benchmark reference rates, but how does it help me?, and she's not going to get my money for me, is she?, and I can whistle for it, I suppose[3], and I put my blood and fire on the line for Mr Diamond, oh, my friend, ha!, the punk, that crazy kid, yes, Bobby D, and this is what happens when you get too close to bankers - man, he was like my brother, my BROTHER![3], and he's paying out millions, and millions, and millions, and I won't see a penny of it, and if I were evil, I would put a curse on him, and you know what?, I think I'll put a curse on him, and you shouldn't forget: I was Jack Pickles[3], and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I was Jack Pickles, and I could be again, and I have the will for terror, and I have the balls for destruction, and a man like me does what he has to do for the sake of his HONOUR!!![3], and

Why has Segantii Capital closed its hedge fund to new investors?

Some absolutely shocking news coming out of Hong Kong. Segantii Capital has closed its Asia-Pacific Equity Multi-Strategy fund. Why? Because it's got too much money! Segantii doesn't want any more! It's got too much! Can you believe this?

I'll never understand these hedge funds. One minute, they want all your money. The next minute, they're saying: 'Sorry, mate, we've got more money than we know what to do with. Why don't you put it in the post office?' Nutters, the lot of them.

Segantii only has $620 million (US) in assets. Is that a lot? I don't think so. Is it too much? Certainly not! / Some people have no ambition. Not like me. I mean, think of that nasty business with Big Herb. When I finally realized he was holding me back, did I say: 'Oh, that's that, then.'? No. What did I do? I cut Big Herb's throat in the astral night. I disappeared the ghosts of the dead financiers. I sent Ganesh the elephant god into exile. I TOOK OVER! / It's not the same thing as boosting a fund's assets, but you've got to take risks in life. If I can assassinate a god and get away with it, I see no reason why Segantii Capital can't build up more than a billion dollars in assets. And a billion dollars is nothing. Kurt Ersoy is the chief executive of Segantii. Come on, Kurt! Let's see what you’re made of. Life isn't a rehearsal, you know.

_________________________


No. 28 coming up later. I'll feel better when I'm in the mid-thirties with my conceptuals. By the time I get to seventy or eighty, it'll be a real achievement: more or less game over as far as revolutionary avant-garde literature goes.

I haven't played my guitar for about a week. I've still got no idea what I'm going to do for those lyrics. Never mind. I think it took McCartney a whole year to replace that scrambled eggs stuff.

It's lunchtime!

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Walkers Crisps Asset Management?

I've just read that Walkers Crisps Asset Management has sold its shares in Liontrust Asset Management, and raised £1.7 million in the process. 'Don't be so bloody stupid, Mikey! Walker Crips Group has sold its asset management unit which Liontrust owned or something.' Eh, Voice? You're making less sense than I am! I've never even heard of Walker Crips. I've heard of Walkers Crisps though. I'm having the prawn cocktail ones later, with my cheese rolls. 'Are you having a peach yoghurt as well?' Yeah. And a can of Coke. 'Nice.'

Walker Crips Group: 'As an integrated financial services group our aims are simple, to provide clients with a full range of investment services which translate into steadily rising earnings and dividends for shareholders. This is accomplished through mystical perception, effective communication, advanced shamanism, and understanding our clients' objectives.' / Oh. These guys actually sound all right, don't they?

_________________________


Lovely sunny day. I might go for a walk in the park after lunch. It'll take my mind off the misery of the world. When the birds are singing in the trees you don't worry about fascists and sadists. Well, not in my experience, anyway.

I could go over to Chiswick, but the CD/DVD shop has closed down. There's nowhere in West London now for that sort of thing - unless you're only looking for the top ten in the supermarket. Shame. This is the modern world. That's why when it comes to songwriting, I'm only interested in potential (big) hits. There's really no future in writing anything else. If I can get One Direction to record a couple of my songs, I'll be laughing.

Monday, 25 June 2012

[No. 27] Anyone want a pasty?

And it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[1], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[2], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[2], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[1], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![2], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[1], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[2], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[1], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[2], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[1], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[2], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[1], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[2], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[2], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[3], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![3], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[3], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[3], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[3], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[3], and

And it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[1], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[2], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[2], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[1], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![2], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[1], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[2], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[1], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[2], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[1], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[2], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[1], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[2], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[2], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[3], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![3], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[3], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[3], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[3], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[3], and

And it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[1], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[2], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![1], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[2], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[1], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![2], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[1], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[2], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[1], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[2], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[1], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[2], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[1], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[2], and it's pretty hard to talk sense with a silver spoon stuck in your mouth, but a silver spoon is better than a pasty any day of the week[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[2], and let's not worry about jobs and economic growth because the poor still have their pasties, and that's all they ever wanted anyway[3], and when your rich friends aren't paying any tax - what can you do about it?, and it's a shame about the poor, but they've got pasties, for Christ's sake![3], and when they're down in the gutter and begging for mercy, we'll shut them up with a pasty to the face[3], and when some lefty comedian calls you a c**t, and you know he's speaking the TRUTH, how do you look your lovely wife in the eye?[3], and it was so simple and easy in the old days when all you had to worry about were the repair bills for the local restaurants, which daddy paid, so ...[3], and you've got your expenses, and you've got your houses, and you can piss on the poor UNTIL the day they come looking for you[3], and this will go on for a while, but not forever, because no one votes for suicide, and there aren't enough sadists to vote for sadism[3], and

Sunday, 24 June 2012

For someone who studied at Oxford ...

David Cameron really is as thick as shit.

Imagine you're a twenty-three-year-old guy. You're married with two children. Your parents live in Spain, and your wife's parents are dead. You left school at eighteen. You've always worked and paid tax. You were even stupid enough to vote Tory. NOW, you're made redundant. Because of the terrible economic situation you can't find another job. Well, you're fucked then. Because Cameron wants to stop you claiming housing benefit. You're going to have to live on the streets with your children. You'll probably have to turn to crime. I mean, it's either that or watch your children starve to death.

Please remember: Cameron used to be in the Bullingdon Club. He smashed up restaurants. I know it's hard to believe, but he is the prime minister of our country. Cameron and other politicians were ripping off fortunes in EXPENSES. Duck houses? Don't forget the duck houses! And remember the Big Society.

I'm no socialist, but I know that the rich have to be a part of society, a fair society, because if society collapses, your money and your mansions will not save you* from the mob outside.


*If you're rich, of course. Most of my readers are.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

[No. 26] Jamil Baz needs the treatment

And we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[1], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[2], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[2], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![1], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[2], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[1], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![2], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[1], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[2], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[1], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[2], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[1], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[2], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[2], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[3], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[3], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![3], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[3], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[3], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[3], and

And we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[1], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[2], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[2], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![1], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[2], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[1], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![2], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[1], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[2], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[1], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[2], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[1], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[2], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[2], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[3], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[3], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![3], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[3], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[3], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[3], and

And we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[1], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[2], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[1], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[2], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![1], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[2], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[1], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![2], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[1], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[2], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[1], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[2], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[1], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[2], and we'll fix Jamil Baz so he never feels bad, never feels down, never feels hopeless, again, and we'll take his mind off the financial crisis, and we'll make him feel good, real good[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[2], and he's been mixing with those computerized Man Group freaks too much, oh!, and that's not smart, is it?, and so are we surprised he's so negative, so depressed?[3], and we'll play some disco tunes, yes!, and we'll spin Bazza round and round, woo!, and we'll put a smile on his face, well, and he'll lose all interest in DEBT and the NEW DEPRESSION[3], and I've got a feeling everything's gonna be all right, and it's a feeling in my bones, and it's a feeling in my flesh, and I'm not talking about my mind here, thank God![3], and Bazza better thank us for all the concern, and this is something SPECIAL, and we are the shamans, the mystics, the children, who are going to save him from himself[3], and I've been to the pub, and I've had me dinner, and one pint of cider is enough to make me happy, and so why does Bazza need to make everything so complicated?[3], and why haven't the GLG lot had a word with him?, oh, maybe they haven't heard of him, and maybe he doesn't even exist, and that would explain a lot, yes, indeed[3], and whatever the situation with this guy I suggest we all hope for the best, and I suggest we go round and round way past the three because Bazza needs it, REALLY needs it[3], and

Jamil Baz is out of his mind

Jamil Baz must be out of his fucking mind if he thinks I'm going to be writing about this goddamn financial crisis for the next TWENTY YEARS! / When are we going to see the good times again? / Mr Baz is chief investment strategist at that Man Group/GLG Partners nonsense which was never going to work. You can't mix shamans with squares. Well, not on that scale. And Baz is a GLG guy but he ain't no financial shaman. I've never heard of him, so he can't be. What the hell is going on? Another twenty years of this? Are you fucking kidding me? I don't know if anyone has told Baz but I intend to get rich, very rich - or I'll die trying, anyway. And he thinks I'm going to tolerate DEBT and DISASTER for another twenty years?! Is he crazy? The guy has got to be crazy. We've only just begun? What, is he in The Carpenters? I've never heard so much crap. The good times are coming back. They've got to come back, otherwise everything will be all fucked up for me personally. Unless I run off to one of those emerging markets everyone is talking about. No! I ain't living in China, fuck that! The communists always tell you what to do, what to think, what to feel, like that dizzy bird. I ain't eating octopus three times a day with Russian shoes with my fucking feet coming through, fuck that! I want my human rights.

_________________________


Let's forget about him. Baz who? I don't know. He's obviously got a scam going, a short or something. But let's forget about him. Let's be positive!

Did you like my conceptual yesterday, No. 25? Talk about positive attitude! If Baz did a little more dancing, a little more loving, and a lot less worrying about shit he can't control, he'd find things ain't so bad. As long as you've got your health ...

This Baz has really annoyed me. But I'm going to forget all about him. I'm going to have a nice lunch. I'm going to read the Sun, and I'm going to relax and clear my mind. After lunch, I'll start on No. 26. And it's going to be fun.

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

[No. 25] I love to love - seriously!

And I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[1], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![2], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[2], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[1], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[2], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[1], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[2], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![1], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[2], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[1], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![2], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![1], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[2], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[1], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![2], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[2], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[3], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[3], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[3], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[3], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![3], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[3], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[3], and

And I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[1], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![2], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[2], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[1], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[2], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[1], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[2], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![1], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[2], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[1], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![2], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![1], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[2], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[1], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![2], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[2], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[3], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[3], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[3], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[3], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![3], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[3], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[3], and

And I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[1], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![2], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[1], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[2], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[1], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[2], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[1], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[2], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![1], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[2], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[1], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![2], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![1], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[2], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[1], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![2], and I love to love, oh, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, yeah?, and there's no time for finance, and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, woo, oh, woo, oh, woo, eh?![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[2], and I love to love, and my angel just loves to dance, and I can't stop her spinning herself half insane, round and round, and she'll get the sack from her job if she doesn't stop[3], and I love to love, and, Christ, forget about the money, you FIENDS, for one minute, PLEASE!, and I'm spinning like a top, and my baby will dance until she drops[3], and I love to love, but she won't give our love a chance, and all she wants to do is dance, and I'm trying hard to dig it - I'll just dance, dance, dance my DESPAIR away[3], and I love to love, and if I have my way it won't be the money WAY, and it won't be the dancing WAY, oh, it'll be the loving WAY, round and round (and round?) until I'm sick of love[3], and I love to love, and screw the markets, woo!, my baby and I have got bigger fish to fry, woo!, and there ain't no financial news worth reading when you're hot like this, woo![3], and I love to love, with a band playing, and so where am I?, and where is my baby?, man, it's like we've been spinning like tops all the way to heaven, and I don't have a problem with that if that's the case[3], and I love to love, God, my baby just loves to dance - and we don't care about Greece, and we don't care about the eurozone, and we don't care about no NEW DEPRESSION, ha![3], and I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance, BUT I can't dance the way she dances, my angel is like Muhammad Ali, but prettier, a HELL of a lot prettier[3], and

Krittibas Ray gets five years in prison for running a hedge fund!

Well, there's more to it than that, the story. It was some sort of Ponzi scheme hedge fund nonsense thing where Krittibas was promising investors a return of 7 per cent (at least) but was actually spending all their money on himself or his loved ones, I suppose, I don't know. I don't really understand these people. What motivates them?

'Money!' Well, obviously. It's all about the money, ain't it? They don't care how they get it, they just want the money. These investors, someone promises them 7 per cent, and they think: great! But that's all they're interested in. And I don't blame them because finance is so fucking boring. If I were an investor, I wouldn't want to know more than 7 per cent. If some swindler said '7 per cent!' to me, I'd be satisfied with that. It's human nature. We'll never change. Everyone in the world is corrupt and stupid and dirty and sick. That's why we need the Lord to come and save us. If He's interested, of course. He has probably got better things to do. If I were this great big cosmic being - and I'm getting close - I wouldn't waste my time on a bunch of disgusting clowns on planet earth. I doubt that I would even want to enter the solar system if I knew we were hanging about the place.

_________________________


Is it lunchtime yet? I'm starving.

I'll probably do a conceptual later, No. 25. And I think I'll be sticking with the arrangement of phrases I used in the last one (and a couple of the others). It's called controlled chaos; also: controlled despair, controlled insanity. And I've really got a taste for it now. I can easily see myself doing two or three hundred of these.

I've had to scrap another lyric. Please understand: I'm trying to write my songs to the highest standard, like Beatles or Bacharach. There's no point in approaching publishers with a demo that is anything less than outstanding. Well, that's my view. / I have one complete song that's good enough. And I have one piece of music (without a lyric) that is good enough. But I don't have all the time in the world.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

[No. 24] Dear reader, consider yourself

And I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[1], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[2], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[2], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![1], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[2], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[1], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![2], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[1], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[2], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[1], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[2], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[1], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[2], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[1], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[2], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[1], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[2], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[1], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[2], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[2], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[3], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[3], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![3], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[3], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[3], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[3], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[3], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[3], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[3], and

And I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[1], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[2], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[2], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![1], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[2], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[1], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![2], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[1], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[2], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[1], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[2], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[1], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[2], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[1], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[2], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[1], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[2], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[1], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[2], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[2], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[3], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[3], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![3], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[3], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[3], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[3], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[3], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[3], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[3], and

And I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[1], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[2], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[1], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[2], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![1], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[2], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[1], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![2], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[1], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[2], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[1], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[2], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[1], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[2], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[1], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[2], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[1], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[2], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[1], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[2], and I know you get so lonely, but consider yourself at home here, all shamans, we're away from the desert, yes, but consider yourself one of the mystic family[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[2], and me and the shamans, and the spirits of the night, we've taken to you so strong, my child, and it's clear we're going to get along, so you can consider yourself well in[3], and in a rotten house, all smashed and leaking, and haunted, with spiders everywhere, you can consider yourself part of the furniture - because we do[3], and if there are some harder days, oh, empty larder days, we'll get some banker or hedgie to foot the bill - maybe you - and then the drinks are on the house![3], and so consider yourself OUR MATE, after some consideration we can state: consider yourself one of us, a shaman (one day), a mystic (you never know), just a mate[3], and nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity, and there's a cup-o'-tea for all, except for Oxbridge twats who find out we're handy with the rolling pin when they come to call[3], and you've got to consider yourself a stranger in a strange land if you want any real connection with us, and you've got to consider yourself a soul empty, aching, looking for love[3], and we want you to be happy, and we think you're suited to the lifestyle, and we know you'll fit in, so consider yourself, just consider yourself, consider yourself ONE OF US[3], and you're not one of them: one of the bastards we despise, and that's something to be happy about, so you're happy, yeah?, you've got to be happy, yeah?, so smile, smile for us[3], and consider yourself DEAD! to all the squares, please, and consider yourself ALIENATED!, please, and consider yourself SPECIAL! now BECAUSE you're one of us[3], and consider yourself gone in the head, and consider yourself burned out of reality, and KNOW that the idiots of the world really envy you, and FEEL, well, feel something[3], and

Monday, 18 June 2012

I have no idea who Brady Dougan is

Well, I've just found out that he's the chief executive of Credit Suisse, but that doesn't tell us much, does it? I mean, anyone could be the chief executive of Credit Suisse, given half a chance. You, dear reader, could be it, or him, or her, for all I know. Are you the bank's CEO? Are you Brady Dougan? Lick the screen once for yes, twice for no. Lick my face, go on!

Yes, I'm in one of those moods. Perverse. Make the most of it. I intend to be very serious and boring soon. It's an ambition of mine. / I suppose you think I'm listening to Brian Eno’s Apollo. Wrong! I'm listening to Jean Michel Jarre's Oxygene. Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you, Brady? I'm full of surprises, me.

Oh, Brady. / They reckon he might have to resign soon, the wankers who write about this sort of thing. Something to do with a capital cushion. (That's a cushion stuffed with banknotes, just in case you're wondering.) A lot of people put their money under the mattress, but thieves/burglars are wise to that now so the clever ones put their money into a cushion, which is fine for private individuals but not for a bank. You see, Brady is being criticized for not having a big enough cushion. Ridiculous! How big is this cushion supposed to be - as big as a house, or a (the) bank's HQ? / I reckon Brady should get a load of cushions in, and spread them around the place. Forty or fifty, maybe even a hundred. Because one big capital cushion will be a magnet for thieving scum.

I'm doing this in the night again. I want to concentrate on songwriting in the morning, the whole day, in fact. / I seem to have an irrational fear of writing song lyrics. My music comes out in seconds. It writes itself, thank God. But the words! / I know what the problem is: I've convinced myself that my entire future rests on these songs. That may or may not be true, but I've got to try to enjoy myself a bit more. Fear is a killer. When it comes to blogging, I have absolutely no fear whatsoever and total confidence. My new conceptual literature, the numbered stuff? I just do it, man. I don't give a shit.

I'm listening to the Oliver! soundtrack now. I'm very impressed that Lionel Bart wrote his songs without an instrument. He had a castle in Morocco, you know, but ended up in a shithole a few minutes' walk from me. Let me tell you, if I get a castle in Morocco I'm fucking holding on to it. My castle will probably be in Spain though. / 'It's a good story, innit?' Adam Faith. / Consider Yourself - a great song! The Living Doll song (not from the musical, obviously) is pretty good as well. Cool melody.

All right, good night, children.