Thursday, 4 April 2013

The Cass Business School is training monkeys to be fund managers

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Apparently, The Cass Business School is the intellectual heart of business. Oh dear. 'Intellectual monkeys, Mikey?' I don't know, Voice. Maybe. Things seem to be going well. They've already done some research. 'Yeah?' Yes. They say that monkeys can manage funds better than humans. 'That's crazy, man.' It's a crazy world we're living in, son.

The good news is, they'll never be able to find a monkey to write a blog as brilliant as this one. Not even if they had a million monkeys with a million laptops. That's because I'm a genius, like Shakespeare. 'How about that other financial blog, Mikey?' What other blog? 'You know, the one you loathe, that lame shit.' Oh, they're not monkeys, man. That blog has been written by punk-ass bitches for the last seven years. Playa haters, the lot of them.

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By the way, I'm listening to 2Pac, my dear motherfuckers. / I've got a nice sandwich for lunch. Then I'll be working on another conceptual, No. 110.

2Pac is a good role model. He worked like a demon towards the end of his life. Three songs a day or something, like Sylvia Plath with her poems. He was fearless as well. He didn't give a fuck. All that bustin' double Glocks. 'He was a self-made millionaire thug, livin' out of prison, pistols in the air.' I know, Voice. Who could ask for more?

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I've just been thinking, we really need to get rid of middle-class professionals. They're dangerous, and evil. Remember Dr Harold Shipman? How many people did that lunatic murder?