Thursday, 25 July 2013

"Capital Taliban" is such a terrible, horrible phrase!!!

Warning: This post contains irreverent humour. Some people claim to like it. They even think they write it.

Oh dear! What a nasty, nasty man Vince Cable is! He used the phrase "Capital Taliban". 'He what, Mikey?!?!' Voice, he was talking about the Bank of England demanding that banks hold lots of capital. 'Right. Sounds really interesting.' Yeah. And then he used that shocking phrase that has shocked everyone. 'Well, I'm shocked. This is the first I've heard of it, man, but I'm definitely shocked. What a horrible world we live in! How can a phrase like that ever be acceptable?' It can't ever be acceptable, Voice. It's really, really terrible. 'Horrible!' I can't believe it! What was Vince thinking of?! 'Doesn't he have a focus group that can put politically-correct words into his mouth, so that soft ponces like us don't get upset?' No, I don't think so. It's all free speech with this one. 'Shocking! Maybe Vince should hire some absurd, humourless journalists to help him with his vocabulary.' That's an idea! Do you have anyone in mind? 'Yeah.' So do I.

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And I don't even like Vince Cable, so I don't know why I'm defending him. 'Maybe it's because there are other people you like even less, Mikey.' Do you have anyone in mind, Voice?

Oh, he's gone.

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And in other news ... Stevie Cohen's SAC Capital Advisors might go out of business if it has to face criminal charges. Will Stevie care? Won't he just start another firm? / Not much of a story, really, is it? But I suppose you can say that about all the financial news.

Is it lunchtime yet?

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My fingers are getting better, I think. Well, they better be getting better. I haven't played the guitar for over two weeks. / I'm so close to a breakthrough. It's very frustrating, man. / You know I love you, dear reader(s), but I've got to get away ... to another life. / 'It will seem like a nightmare, boss.' Oh, you're back. What will? 'The last six years or so. Just wait until you're living in your house in Malibu.' / Dreaming ...