Monday, 30 September 2013

Three songs

I've got them! The three songs I need for my demo. I've just finished You're Lying. I don't know if it's perfect or not. ('Nothing's perfect, Mikey. Think of that Kirk Douglas film.' Eh? Spartacus? 'No, the jazz one.') I'm sticking with it though because I'm exhausted, frankly.

I'll have to spend a couple of weeks rehearsing now. Then I'll record You're Lying and My Heart. (I already have a good recording of the other song, from eighteen months ago.) / I've decided I'm going to do My Heart in a bouncy hepcat style rather than the dreary style I was doing before.

I might watch David Essex in Stardust tonight. 'Don't get carried away, man. It's early days yet.' Whatever!

John White has moved over to the dark side of Man Group

Oh, what a shame! / Johnny was a GLG man. (All the financial shamans are at GLG.) But Mr White has given up managing his funds at GLG. He thinks he has a better, bigger job now at GLG's daddy and mummy, Man Group. (All the robots are at Man Group. 'Manny, Mikey?' I don't know what Manny's playing at, Voice.) / Well, it's his funeral. It's sad, but I can't do anything about it.

That's enough finance for a Monday morning, ain't it? (Go to the squares, dear reader(s), if you're not satisfied.) / Other news? The Tories are getting even more deranged. They have no serious plan for fixing the economy/country. They just want to persecute the poor, sick and disabled. 'Well, they're the ones who got us in this mess, Mikey. The Tories should string them up!' Shut it, Voice, you fucking prat! You don't know anything about it. / Christ. I might have to vote Labour at the next election. Yes, Labour are deluded and incompetent, but they're not evil. / I don't know. I probably won't vote at all. Hopefully, I'll be living in Malibu and I'll be well out of it. 'If you don't have a dream, boss, how are you going to have a dream come true?' Exactly. The most sensible thing you've said all morning.

Music? I've nearly finished You're Lying. I've been rewriting a few lines, making them stronger. I might get the bridge finished today. ('Who do you think you are, Julius Caesar?') / I can't sing though. I've still got that chest infection or whatever it is. I hope Iain Duncan Smith doesn't find out. I don't want to end up in a camp.

I've got a nice cheese sandwich for lunch, with red onion. (I know, dear reader(s), that you like to keep up to date with all my eating habits.) And I've got a can of Coke, too. And some crisps. And a strawberry yoghurt.

Anyway, laters ...

Oh, one more thing. A sort of thought of the day, as it were. A lot of these conservatives think of themselves as Christians, but would Jesus have any truck with them if he were alive? Jesus used to hang out with blue-collar guys, fishermen. And prostitutes. And the sick, and the poor. Was he ever seen hobnobbing with Romans, the conservatives of his time? 'It's certainly something to think about, Mikey.' Yes, it is.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

[No. 155] Screaming Lord Libor / a-ROUND out of my head?

This better work.

And it's a desperate situation[1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[1], and it's a desperate situation[2], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[2], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[1], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![2], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[1], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[2], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[1], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[2], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![1], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[2], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[1], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![2], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[1], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[2], and it's a thing, yes[1], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[2], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![1], and it's a thing, yes[2], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[1], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![2], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[1], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[2], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![1], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[2], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[1], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![2], and it's a desperate situation[3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[2], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[3], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![3], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[3], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[3], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[3], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![3], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[3], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[3], and it's a thing, yes[3], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![3], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[3], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[3], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[3], and

And it's a desperate situation[1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[1], and it's a desperate situation[2], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[2], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[1], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![2], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[1], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[2], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[1], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[2], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![1], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[2], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[1], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![2], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[1], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[2], and it's a thing, yes[1], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[2], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![1], and it's a thing, yes[2], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[1], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![2], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[1], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[2], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![1], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[2], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[1], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![2], and it's a desperate situation[3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[2], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[3], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![3], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[3], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[3], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[3], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![3], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[3], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[3], and it's a thing, yes[3], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![3], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[3], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[3], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[3], and

And it's a desperate situation[1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[1], and it's a desperate situation[2], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![1], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[2], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[1], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![2], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[1], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[2], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[1], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[2], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![1], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[2], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[1], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![2], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[1], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[2], and it's a thing, yes[1], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[2], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![1], and it's a thing, yes[2], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[1], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![2], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[1], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[2], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![1], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[2], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[1], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![2], and it's a desperate situation[3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[2], and a-ROUND here with FINANCE SHIT I NEVER ASKED FOR - how much fun is that?[3], and I'm making my own fun / I'm making LORD LIBOR ... all DIZZY![3], and I can hear his screams as he gets a-ROUND[3], and I want this SCREAMING LORD out of my consciousness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness / ness[3], and oh ... ness / ness / ness[3], and I'll let it fade to NOTHING, and I'll watch LORD LIBOR SPIN away to ... NOTHING, yes![3], and I wish I could let it fade, but ...[3], and the screams are getting LOUDER ... when I shouldn't be hearing any / THING, man[3], and it's a thing, yes[3], and it's a THING / I don't want it, and why have I got it?![3], and I'll spin myself faster / out of my head / to get away from the HORROR of  ... it[3], and I never wanted SCREAMING LORD LIBOR ... like this out of the news and in my soul ... deeper than the mind[3], and oh ... in my SOUL!!![3], and there's a better REALITY beyond the THREE / and I gotta believe that, my friend(s)[3], and

Who is Screaming Lord Libor?

Is he an old pop star, making a comeback? (Sutch, Byron ... Woodford.) No. No. No. (No. No. No. That would be something worth writing about.) Unfortunately, he's Colin Goodman, an ex-ICAP broker in trouble with the law. 'In trouble with everyone, Mikey.' Yes, Voice. The FCA, the Serious Fraud Office, the US Department of Justice, the CIA, Navy Seals, Boy Scouts - everyone! They all want a piece of Screaming Lord Libor. 'Is it because he screams, boss?' (YES!) Maybe. Or it could be because Colin and his mates, Darrell Read and Daniel Wilkinson, were up to no good, allegedly. / Well (well, well) I don't know, and I don't want to know. Frankly, it's none of my business, this Libor/ICAP nonsense, and if more writers were like me, the world would be a much nicer place. 'Would it?!' Oh yes. If we didn't hear about this stuff, it wouldn't upset us, would it? / I was hoping to write about music. I woke up this morning all happy and everything. Now look at me. 'You look pretty miserable, boss. What are you going to do about it?' Well, Voice, I'm going to have my lunch, and then I'm going to write a conceptual post about ... Screaming Lord Libor. 'What?! Another post about Colin? How will that help?' Well (well, well) I'll get a-ROUND so fast and CRAZY(!), man, that NONE of it will make / sense. It'll be a sort of exorcism. 'Oh, I get you. You're a fucking genius, Mikey!' Tell me about it.

Egg sandwich, in case you're wondering.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

[No. 154] Baby, mellow my mind

Please!

And I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[1], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[2], and where are YOU(!), baby?[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[2], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[1], and where are YOU(!), baby?[2], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[1], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[2], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[1], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[2], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![1], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[2], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[1], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![2], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[1], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[2], and here I am on GOOD TIME[1], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[1], and here I am on GOOD TIME[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[2], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[2], and NOTHING on those feelings[1], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[2], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[1], and NOTHING on those feelings[2], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[1], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[2], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[2], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[3], and where are YOU(!), baby?[3], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[3], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[3], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[3], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![3], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[3], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[3], and here I am on GOOD TIME[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[3], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[3], and NOTHING on those feelings[3], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[3], and

And I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[1], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[2], and where are YOU(!), baby?[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[2], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[1], and where are YOU(!), baby?[2], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[1], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[2], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[1], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[2], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![1], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[2], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[1], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![2], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[1], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[2], and here I am on GOOD TIME[1], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[1], and here I am on GOOD TIME[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[2], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[2], and NOTHING on those feelings[1], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[2], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[1], and NOTHING on those feelings[2], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[1], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[2], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[2], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[3], and where are YOU(!), baby?[3], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[3], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[3], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[3], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![3], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[3], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[3], and here I am on GOOD TIME[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[3], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[3], and NOTHING on those feelings[3], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[3], and

And I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[1], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[2], and where are YOU(!), baby?[1], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[2], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[1], and where are YOU(!), baby?[2], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[1], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[2], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[1], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[2], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![1], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[2], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[1], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![2], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[1], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[2], and here I am on GOOD TIME[1], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[1], and here I am on GOOD TIME[2], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[2], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[1], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[2], and NOTHING on those feelings[1], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[2], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[1], and NOTHING on those feelings[2], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[1], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[2], and I've been a-ROUND ... and now I'm coming back for you, oh BABY[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[2], and my mind is a LONG WAY from being MELLOW, so ...[3], and where are YOU(!), baby?[3], and I'm coming a-ROUND again, and a-GAIN(?), and again ... looking for LOVE[3], and I could be lying down on a railroad track for all you care, and these are feelings[3], and MELLOW YELLOW? ... No, that's another song, er ...[3], and there's a fish ... on the line, YES!!![3], and it's just fragments in my head, at the best of times, songs, thoughts, OR(!) in the foul rag and bone shop of my heart - ?[3], and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine, and it's not one of mine[3], and here I am on GOOD TIME[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND my ears my ... my toes my eyes my fingers my nose, my ... getting lost, baby[3], and MELLOW a-ROUND the bend, baby[3], and chaotic SOUNDS crashing - and I like it, oh, I LIKE IT(!) ... and I like it / rather a lot[3], and NOTHING on those feelings[3], and what more can I say, ask? / And what do YOU(!) want?[3], and so please ... mellow my mind, eh?[3], and

Gareth Isaac has bought some asset backed securities in the UK

Or something. / I don't know what's going on. I have no idea why Gareth even wants to get involved in stuff like that. 'It's his job, man. He's got to put food on the table, ain't he?' What's his job? Remind me. 'He manages the Schroder Strategic Bond fund with Mr Jolly.' Mister who?! 'Mr Jolly.' Oh Christ. Let me get this straight, Voice. Maybe I'm a little fucked up this morning. Gareth Isaac is managing a fund with a character from a children's book?! Are you serious, man? 'Yes, Mikey.' But that's absolutely bizarre! / I've heard it all now.

No, hang on, you mean Bob Jolly, don't you? 'Well ... yes.' Right. I've written about him before. He's not a Mr Men character. Why didn't you say: "Bob Jolly"? 'I couldn't resist, boss.' / Listen, Voice. Don't take the piss out of these fund managers. I respect these people, and they respect me. That's why I can have a laugh with them. But who are you, eh? You're just some disembodied voice. They don't know you. You haven't built up a relationship with these people. 'Mikey, come on -' Listen to me, Voice. I don't like it, the way you carry on. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, yeah? You're not big, and you're not clever. Bob Jolly is a veteran portfolio manager, son. He's the head of global macro strategy at Schroders. He has worked at UBS, and Gartmore. He's not a piece of shit like you. 'All right, boss, I'm sorry.' It's Mr Jolly you should be apologizing to. 'I'll pop over and see him later.' What, astral travel? 'Yeah.' Okay. Just make sure you do. And don't scare him. Introduce yourself properly. Don't jabber away in his head.

_________________________


He's gone now, reader(s). I wasn't too hard on him, was I?

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Dagmar Dvorak has left Barings

How strange! Dagmar Dvorak has left a bank that doesn't even exist. Have you ever heard such nonsense, dear reader(s)? 'Baring Asset Management, boss.' What, Voice, you little idiot? 'It does exist.' No it doesn't! That Nick Leeson character destroyed the bank decades ago. 'Eighteen years ago. But it's Baring Asset Management. Look through your archive. You've written about it before.' I've got better things to do with my time than to go through my archive looking for an imaginary bank. 'For Christ's sake, Mikey!' Go away, Voice. Some fucking intern you are.

Sorry about that, dear reader(s). You just can't get the staff these days. / Yes, Dagmar Dvorak has left Barings. Decades after it went out of business. What a peculiar girl! Maybe she was in the stationery cupboard and didn't hear everyone leaving. Or maybe she's a fanatic - like those Japanese soldiers still fighting the Second World War.

_________________________


I've lost my voice, a bit. (Not ... The Voice. Don't give a shit about him/it.) Chest infection or something. Another setback. / I was playing You're Lying yesterday. The lyrics have changed the rhythm. (That always happens to me with a song. I don't know why.) It sounds cool though. I still need the bridge lyrics.

Monday, 23 September 2013

Clive Capital is closing

I once wrote that something at Clive Capital was making £250,000 a day. How times have changed! / Yes, Clive Capital is closing, man. It's commodities, you see. They're no good now. You could say that they were "shit" - if you wanted to.

Let's look on the bright side though. Something has made enough money. Something can get away and start a new life.

Or will something start a new firm? Oh, I hope not. Enough is enough. Something can't prove nothing no more. It's time to rest. To everything there is a season.

_________________________


I'll be starting a new season soon. And I'll be leaving this season in hell behind. / I had a lyrical breakthrough with You're Lying the other night - well, three or four in the morning. / I only need four more lines for the bridge. I might get those today, after lunch. You never know.

My brain is willing to take risks in the early hours of the morning. And it's at its most open then. Because I'm tired, I suppose. And there's the atmosphere of the night, of course.

Thursday, 19 September 2013

[No. 153] Let's have fun with a fund: Oryza Capital!

It's a new hedge fund! Yes, another one!

And let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![1], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![2], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[1], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[2], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[1], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[2], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[1], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[2], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[1], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[2], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[1], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[2], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[1], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[2], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![1], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[2], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![1], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![2], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![2], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![3], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[3], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[3], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[3], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[3], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[3], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[3], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[3], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![3], and

And let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![1], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![2], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[1], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[2], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[1], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[2], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[1], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[2], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[1], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[2], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[1], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[2], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[1], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[2], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![1], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[2], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![1], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![2], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![2], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![3], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[3], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[3], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[3], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[3], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[3], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[3], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[3], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![3], and

And let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![1], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![1], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![2], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![2], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[1], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[1], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[2], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[1], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[2], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[1], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[2], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[1], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[2], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[1], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[2], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[1], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[2], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![1], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[2], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![1], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![2], and let's get a-ROUND, folks, and have a laugh on a rainy/cloudy day with a new HEDGE FUND that Goldman Sachs has launched[3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![2], and Hideki Kinuhata and Ryan Thall are running it - great![3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!![3], and we're talking long/short equity fund ... oh, because life is too LONG and too SHORT depending on how you're feeling, you dig?[3], and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / notice the small capitals, BEAUTIFUL / I aim to please[3], and a-ROUND here DIZZY?[3], and maybe it's the BIG CAPITALS that float your boat, eh? / and Oryza, Oryza, ORYZA!!! / but I'm not going bigger than that[3], and are YOU(!) having a GOOD TIME? / Frankly, I'd rather be down the pub[3], and thank your lucky stars there's a new fund / and imagine the pain of no new funds[3], and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / I'll be down the pub, fuck this, man[3], and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza / and Oryza, Oryza, Oryza[3], and get it in your HEAD ... it's a new fund, and we love new funds, and we want more new funds ... this is LIFE![3], and what more do you want, you INSANE bastard?![3], and

Bedroom tax disaster!

Just been flicking through my favourite newspaper, The Sun. I couldn't find any mention of the bedroom tax disaster anywhere. Never mind. The journalists have probably been working on other important stories. I'm not going to judge them. / But the bedroom tax? Well, what can I say? It has turned out to be an utter joke, and a disgrace - as I knew it would. Actually, as anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together knew it would. / Tens of thousands of families are facing eviction because they can't find smaller properties and they can't cope with the cut to their housing benefit. Brilliant! / How much will it cost the taxpayer now to put them up in emergency bed and breakfast accommodation?

It's the Conservatives, you see. They have two serious problems which make them unsuitable for modern life in Great Britain.

One. / They are so privileged, so pampered, so disconnected from everyday life that they have absolutely no idea how "normal" people live.

Of course, you could argue the same about finance types - but at least they have intelligence and abilities, which leads to ...

Two. / The Tories are as thick as shit. / Dear reader, if you're looking for a new person to come and work in your hedge fund or bank, what do you do? I presume you try to find the most intelligent, experienced, and capable person for the money you're offering, the person who is most suited to the job. What you don't do is walk out into the street and grab any old passing dickhead and say: "Do you want a job in finance?" / That's basically what we do with our politicians. We (not me, mate) vote for anyone who is wearing the right colour rosette. / I knew this bedroom tax would be a mess. And I only have one brain. The Tories have loads of brains, all put together, and they're still not as intelligent as I am. How is this possible?

And Labour are no better. What hope is there?

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

[No. 152] I am not a robot

I've got a soul.

And I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[1], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[2], and what are YOU?[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[2], and I'm worried about YOU[1], and what are YOU?[2], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[1], and I'm worried about YOU[2], and I don't know about YOU[1], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[2], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[1], and I don't know about YOU[2], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[1], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[2], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[1], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[2], and so don't try, babe[1], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[2], and GET WILD now[1], and so don't try, babe[2], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[1], and GET WILD now[2], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[1], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[2], and words STINK!!![1], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[2], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[1], and words STINK!!![2], and MONKEYS have it hard[1], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[2], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[1], and MONKEYS have it hard[2], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![1], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[2], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![2], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[3], and what are YOU?[3], and I'm worried about YOU[3], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[3], and I don't know about YOU[3], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[3], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[3], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[3], and so don't try, babe[3], and GET WILD now[3], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[3], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[3], and words STINK!!![3], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[3], and MONKEYS have it hard[3], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![3], and

And I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[1], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[2], and what are YOU?[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[2], and I'm worried about YOU[1], and what are YOU?[2], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[1], and I'm worried about YOU[2], and I don't know about YOU[1], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[2], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[1], and I don't know about YOU[2], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[1], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[2], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[1], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[2], and so don't try, babe[1], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[2], and GET WILD now[1], and so don't try, babe[2], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[1], and GET WILD now[2], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[1], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[2], and words STINK!!![1], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[2], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[1], and words STINK!!![2], and MONKEYS have it hard[1], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[2], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[1], and MONKEYS have it hard[2], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![1], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[2], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![2], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[3], and what are YOU?[3], and I'm worried about YOU[3], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[3], and I don't know about YOU[3], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[3], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[3], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[3], and so don't try, babe[3], and GET WILD now[3], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[3], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[3], and words STINK!!![3], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[3], and MONKEYS have it hard[3], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![3], and

And I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[1], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[2], and what are YOU?[1], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[2], and I'm worried about YOU[1], and what are YOU?[2], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[1], and I'm worried about YOU[2], and I don't know about YOU[1], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[2], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[1], and I don't know about YOU[2], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[1], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[2], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[1], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[2], and so don't try, babe[1], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[2], and GET WILD now[1], and so don't try, babe[2], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[1], and GET WILD now[2], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[1], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[2], and words STINK!!![1], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[2], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[1], and words STINK!!![2], and MONKEYS have it hard[1], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[2], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[1], and MONKEYS have it hard[2], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![1], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[2], and I'm a genuine human being with a genuine soul[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![2], and there aren't too many of us a-ROUND, and what are YOU(!) doing here? / Are you gonna be more than THREE?[3], and what are YOU?[3], and I'm worried about YOU[3], and the EYES / are the WINDOW / to the soul[3], and I don't know about YOU[3], and oh ... when you get that ROBOT look in your eye, it's all over, my friend[3], and, man, just feel the humanity a-ROUND here as we get out of our minds with words that / the faster we GO!!! / the less they mean[3], and there's NOTHING to hold on to, thank GOD for me[3], and so don't try, babe[3], and GET WILD now[3], and slow ... to think, for a while, eh?[3], and / try to think, try to think, try to think[3], and words STINK!!![3], and they say ROBOTS are the new MONKEYS ... but I'd rather be a monkey with a laptop than a robot with a gun[3], and MONKEYS have it hard[3], and I say MONKEYS got souls too ... look into those lovely eyes, how can you doubt it?[3], and ... I'm a fucking MONKEY!!![3], and

What's this Sterling Ridge Capital Management?

Oh, try and guess, man. You don't have to be a rocket scientist. 'Is it a new hedge fund, Mikey?' Yes, it is, Voice. Well done! 'Is it being run by Stevie Cohen's brother-in-law?' Richard Schimel? Why, yes! You seem to know all about it, son. 'I do.' But it hasn't been launched yet. So it isn't being run by anybody - yet. 'Nitpicking.'

Sterling Ridge will launch ... I don't know, later on in the year, when Richie can be bothered. / It's mid-September. Christ! (Where has the year gone? My demo was supposed to be ready by now.) / Mr Schimel was one of the founders of Diamondback Capital Management. Never mind. That's all in the past. Richie is making a fresh start.

_________________________


That's enough. Fucking bored already, man. Imagine doing this for a living. 'I thought you were, boss.' Yeah, some living. I'd be better off selling matches at the end of the street.

I'll be working on a conceptual after lunch. (Cheese and tomato sandwich, yoghurt, crisps, Coke. No surprises. Fine by me.) No. 152, about not being a robot. I'm looking forward to it. I like getting a-ROUND. The conceptuals are easy to write. Well, easier than song lyrics, anyway.

It's all right to have a bit of obscurity in the conceptuals, but I want absolute clarity in my lyrics. / Germaine Greer says Bob Dylan can't even write doggerel. Dylan is the greatest lyricist ever - probably, maybe - but I can see what she means. He tries to be mysterious. However, he doesn't have a lot to be mysterious about. (No one does. Although Germaine doesn't agree with that point.) You can be fooled when you're young, but not when you're my age.

And the conceptuals aren't about mystery. They're about getting away from language and meaning with the aim of achieving transcendence. / The faster you go ...

Monday, 16 September 2013

Robots don't have souls

And they'll never have souls. / So, dear reader(s), if you're worried about losing your job to a robot, you better get creative.

Robots will never be properly creative. / They can only pretend. / Yes. / Because they don't have souls. / Of course, a lot of human beings don't have souls. / (They're not sensitive, not truly alive.) / Read Erich Fromm's The Fear of Freedom, if you don't believe me. / However, Fromm didn't believe in souls. / He didn't believe in God. / But that's not the point. / You've got to get creative if you want a future. / Obviously, it'll have to be creative activity that pays, not blogging. / You can still make good money from songwriting, despite the internet. / Adele has SOLD close to thirty million copies of her 21 album. / Don't forget radio, TV, adverts, film, etc. / Traders? I'd trust a human trader more than a fucking robot any day of the week. / We've got to smash these metal motherfuckers into junk.

A million monkeys with laptops couldn't write Kafka, BUT ... maybe Shakespeare. / Ha! / A million robots would be just as useless. / A robot could copy Picasso or Pollock, but no more than that. / The soulless will tell you otherwise. / Oh, my friend(s), fuck the soulless! / A robot could never invent something like conceptual literature. / You have to be MORE than merely creative. / You have to be at the pinnacle!

_________________________


I wrote three lines of You're Lying earlier. / Getting these words (lyric) is like pulling teeth with a pair of pliers. / It's going to be a great torch song though. / Frank Sinatra once said that By The Time I Get To Phoenix was the greatest torch song ever written. / I'll match it, or even surpass it. / Fuck the robots!


Update Tuesday (12.15pm): Glen Campbell's recording of Phoenix is the definitive version, but I've just found this by Dean Martin. Totally classic!

It's one of those Monday mornings when there is no financial news

Everyone is still on holiday. Maybe. I don't know. It happens. There is no news. / God knows how the squares cope in situations like this. 'They make shit up, Mikey. You know that.' Yes, Voice, I'm God. 'And am I the Voice of God?' No.

It's quite sunny today. I hope it lasts. / I'll play the guitar later, and work on You're Lying - if I can stay positive. It's hard to stay positive writing this blog.

I've got to stay focused. Or even get focused. / Did Caesar worry about what the Gauls were doing? Or did he say: "Fuck the Gauls! I'll do my own thing." - ?

Friday, 13 September 2013

[No. 151] What do they do all day at Aviva Investors?

Life of Riley.

And they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[1], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[2], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[2], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[1], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[2], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[1], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[2], and ... / I shit 'em![1], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[2], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[1], and ... / I shit 'em![2], and I need a HOLIDAY[1], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[2], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[2], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[3], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[3], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[3], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[3], and ... / I shit 'em![3], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[3], and

And they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[1], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[2], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[2], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[1], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[2], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[1], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[2], and ... / I shit 'em![1], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[2], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[1], and ... / I shit 'em![2], and I need a HOLIDAY[1], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[2], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[2], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[3], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[3], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[3], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[3], and ... / I shit 'em![3], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[3], and

And they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[1], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[2], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[1], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[2], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[1], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[2], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[1], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[2], and ... / I shit 'em![1], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[2], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[1], and ... / I shit 'em![2], and I need a HOLIDAY[1], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[2], and they've got to be drinking tea all day ... with Schroders taking care of business[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[2], and I'd like to get them a-ROUND here ... show them what it's like to WORK(!) for a living - 'You?!'[3], and ... working up a sweat, NOW[3], and oh, it's 24/7 a-ROUND here, man[3], and ... oh, it's hard work all this spinning a-ROUND, you know[3], and ... / I shit 'em![3], and I ain't got no time for tea and biscuits - there's spinning to be done, so let's get DIZZY!!! - 'Me?!'[3], and I need a HOLIDAY[3], and