Thursday, 28 November 2013

[No. 174] No dancing, and no drumming, for Andrew Wang, just this

This is enough - ?

And YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[1], and this is ALL I have for him[1], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[2], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![1], and this is ALL I have for him[2], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![1], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![2], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[1], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![2], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[1], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[2], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[1], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[2], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[1], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[2], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![1], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[2], and if only we could touch the sun ...[1], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![2], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[1], and if only we could touch the sun ...[2], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![1], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[2], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[1], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![2], and I need to / WAKE UP![1], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[2], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![2], and this is ALL I have for him[3], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![3], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![3], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[3], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[3], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[3], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[3], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![3], and if only we could touch the sun ...[3], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[3], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![3], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![3], and

And YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[1], and this is ALL I have for him[1], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[2], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![1], and this is ALL I have for him[2], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![1], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![2], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[1], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![2], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[1], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[2], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[1], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[2], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[1], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[2], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![1], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[2], and if only we could touch the sun ...[1], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![2], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[1], and if only we could touch the sun ...[2], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![1], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[2], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[1], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![2], and I need to / WAKE UP![1], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[2], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![2], and this is ALL I have for him[3], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![3], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![3], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[3], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[3], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[3], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[3], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![3], and if only we could touch the sun ...[3], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[3], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![3], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![3], and

And YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[1], and this is ALL I have for him[1], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[2], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![1], and this is ALL I have for him[2], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![1], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![2], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[1], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![2], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[1], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[2], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[1], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[2], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[1], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[2], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![1], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[2], and if only we could touch the sun ...[1], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![2], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[1], and if only we could touch the sun ...[2], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![1], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[2], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[1], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![2], and I need to / WAKE UP![1], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[2], and YOU(!) / know about Andy Wang and his new hedge fund, don't you? / Of course you do[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![2], and this is ALL I have for him[3], and / Did you read the last post? / WAKE UP![3], and I want everyone ... to BELIEVE(!) that this is enough / my reputation is at stake, man![3], and we don't need to dance, and we don't need to bang a drum ... getting a-ROUND is where's it at, these days[3], and shamanism has moved on, my friend(s)[3], and maybe I should SCREAM!!! / ... / ... / ... / That would get the blood flowing / and the fire burning[3], and I ain't going back to the desert, and desert ways ... / too many bad memories / too many bodies buried in the sand[3], and would Andy get his millions if I banged a drum? / 'It worked in the past, Mikey' / Oh, where is the THREE!!![3], and if only we could touch the sun ...[3], and are you coming with me? / I once asked / Maybe I'll go alone to the sun, maybe ...[3], and ... not even I thought I would get this far, so ... / This isn't helping Andy![3], and / Andy, mate, you're on your own! / I ain't got the energy, son / You'll be all right[3], and I need to / WAKE UP![3], and

Andrew Wang and Redstar Auspicious Capital Management

Andrew Wang is a bit confused. (Which is all right, I suppose. We all get confused, don't we?) He lives in Hong Kong, and he's Chinese. That's fair enough, you're thinking. But he likes to speak Japanese for some reason, and he wants his new hedge fund, Redstar, to invest in both China and Japan. Dear oh dear. Why can't he focus on just one thing, one country, at a time? It's going to be a lot of work. / Obviously, he's very ambitious. He used to be a trader at Goldman Sachs. (That wasn't enough for him. Most people would be happy with a nice career at Goldman.) Oh, and he wants $50 million or $100 million - if you've got any spare cash on you, dear reader(s). Not $75 million. Or $150 million. Don't waste Andy's time. He's in a rush.

Well, I hope it all works out for him. / A few years ago I would have danced all over the shop, ecstatically, and maybe banged a drum to help Andy, but I've changed. Those days are over. He'll have to settle for a conceptual blog post, No. 174. / Note: These conceptuals, they can be very powerful if you use them the right way. Don't just get a-ROUND. Go beyond the THREE, you dig?

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No, I don't have a drum. I've got a guitar. / My demo? Man, it's a pain in the arse, trying to make these recordings. I'll have to get my guitar playing up to a much higher standard if I want my songs to sound half decent. / I want to be finished by Christmas. ('Dream on, Mikey!' Shut up, Voice.) It'll be nice to take a week off at Christmas - from blogging as well - and just listen to my songs in the knowledge that I've smashed it and that no one in the world can touch me. / Noel Gallagher must have had that feeling in '93/'94 when Oasis were signing with Creation Records and making Definitely Maybe. / Or maybe not. Oasis had problems with recording, too. Noel must have been proud of the songs though.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

[No. 173] The terrapins that live in brackish water

While you're living on easy street, you bastard.

And I've been told they "love" it, but ...[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[1], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[2], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[2], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[1], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[2], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[1], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[1], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[2], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[2], and / Can they love it, really?[1], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[1], and / Can they love it, really?[2], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[2], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[1], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[2], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[1], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[2], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[1], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[2], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[1], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[2], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[2], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[3], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[3], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[3], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[3], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![3], and / Can they love it, really?[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[3], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[3], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[3], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[3], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[3], and

And I've been told they "love" it, but ...[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[1], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[2], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[2], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[1], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[2], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[1], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[1], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[2], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[2], and / Can they love it, really?[1], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[1], and / Can they love it, really?[2], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[2], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[1], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[2], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[1], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[2], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[1], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[2], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[1], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[2], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[2], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[3], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[3], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[3], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[3], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![3], and / Can they love it, really?[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[3], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[3], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[3], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[3], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[3], and

And I've been told they "love" it, but ...[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[1], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[2], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[1], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[2], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[1], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[2], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[1], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[1], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[2], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[2], and / Can they love it, really?[1], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![2], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[1], and / Can they love it, really?[2], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[1], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[2], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[1], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[2], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[1], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[2], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[1], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[2], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[1], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[2], and I've been told they "love" it, but ...[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[2], and if you're ever feeling sorry for yourself, dear spinner(s), just think of the poor terrapins that have to live in brackish water[3], and I hope you're ashamed / Yes, YOU(!)[3], and YOU(!) / you've got no reason to feel sorry for yourself a-ROUND here, have you?[3], and the terrapin that works in asset management ... I'm just in awe / to come from such a disadvantaged background[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't want to spend all your days in brackish water / Oh, they can't love it, man[3], and he/she/it ... is still in the old neighbourhood, you know: it's called LOYALTY![3], and / Can they love it, really?[3], and YOU(!) / you wouldn't be seen for dust[3], and if I could play my guitar properly, I'd probably sing The Terrapin Blues / even though I ain't no terrapin, I can put myself in their shoes[3], and / there's no such song - ? / I could write it[3], and / terrapins don't wear shoes - ? / Do they?[3], and / ... Anyway, let's see YOU(!) as a terrapin / How long would you last?[3], and I do this for a living ... BUT(!) / the terrapins aren't paying me, man[3], and

A terrapin has bought Hennessee Group's hedge fund advisory business

It just gets worse, don't it? / I never thought I would live to see the day when a turtle (terrapin) that lives in fresh or brackish water would buy itself a hedge fund advisory ... thing. I'm almost speechless. I mean, for what fucking reason?! 'Er ... it's an asset manager, boss.' What is? 'The terrapin.' What?! You're telling me this turtle that lives in fresh or brackish water is working in the asset management game? 'Yeah.' HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY?!?!

Well, the whole world has gone crazy. / You want more proof, dear reader(s)? Stephen wouldn't give me the $500 million. Stephen Czech, you know? I phoned him yesterday afternoon. I wish I hadn't. 'Why?' The guy's got a bad attitude, Voice. He said he wanted to keep the excess money for a rainy day, for himself. 'The selfishness of these people never ceases to amaze me, Mikey.' I told him about the house in Malibu. 'And?' It didn't cut any ice with him. / I think Stephen has got real trouble - in his head. The money has messed him up. He was lucky in the first place finding such deluded investors. 'Boss, you could find your own investors for your own fund. Call it the Malibu House fund.' No. There might be legal complications, man. I just want the money. I don't want the hassle of starting up a fund. 'You don't want pesky regulators sticking their noses in.' Well, who does, Voice?

What the fuck is brackish, anyway? 'Brackish water is water that is slightly salty and unpleasant.' The terrapin should move then, if he doesn't like it. 'The terrapin loves it, man. It's everyone else who has a problem.' Fucking people. People are never happy. / On second thoughts, I take my hat off to this terrapin if he (or she) is making a go of it.

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Stephen Czech has got more money than sense

Just when you think finance can't get any crazier ... / He only wanted $1 billion, you know. The silly bastards have given him $1.5 billion! 'Who?! What?! Eh?! / What's going on, man?!' Stephen Czech, Voice. He wanted to raise $1 billion for his Czech Asset Management, well, for his second direct-lending hedge fund at the firm. 'I see.' The stupid investors, though, the awful twats, they had other ideas, didn't they? 'What happened?' They gave Stephen $1.5 billion! 'Oh, Christ!' Yeah. And it could have been worse, son. The nutjobs wanted to give him $1.8 billion. 'Ha! That's ridiculous, Mikey!' / So, it's official. Stephen Czech has more money than sense - and he's got to find a way out of this mess. 'What do you suggest?' See if you can dig this, man: Czech Asset Management is engaged in the business of originating and investing in asset-based and cash-flow first and second lien secured floating rate loans for middle market borrowers located throughout North America and Europe. How about that, eh? 'Yeah, that's brilliant, that's great, man, but what do you suggest? What's the solution to this excess money problem?' Well, quite simply, my little invisible friend, Stephen will have to give me $500 million. 'You're a genius, boss!' I know. How do I think of this shit?

Yes, I'm a genius. And it's more or less a done deal. Stephen will be happy to give me the money, I'm sure. 'He'll be bloody relieved.' Of course he will! / I'll phone him later to sort out the details.

I'll be able to get that house in Malibu now. What a result! / So close to Christmas as well. I'm over the moon. Dear reader(s), I'm thinking my luck might be changing.

Monday, 25 November 2013

Sebastian Lyon says that central banks are going to wreck everything again

Not that they wrecked everything last time. 'Just the next time.' Yeah. / Maybe I was too hard on Sebastian Lyon before. 'When?!' Before, Voice. Before! 'All right. Chill out, man.' He seems to know what he's talking about. / Sebastian Lyon says there's going to be another crisis because central banks are printing all this money like it's going out of fashion. 'That makes sense.' They're rigging the markets. There's going to be loads of inflation. One day. 'When?' I don't know. Soon. Later on. After Christmas, I suppose. I don't know. 'Jesus! How are you preparing for it? Gold?' I can't afford gold. 'Baked beans?' Yeah, just baked beans. 'Never mind, Mikey.' At least you can eat baked beans.

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Well, that's enough finance for a Monday morning. I don't want to get a reputation for writing about finance on a Monday. 'Imagine that!' It doesn't bear thinking about, son.

I have been thinking though. 'Really?' Oh yeah. I've been thinking about Scottish independence. I reckon they might go it alone, you know. The thought of never having a Conservative government ever again will be too irresistible for the Scots. Of course, it means the English will be lumbered with nothing but Conservative governments. It will be like a thousand-year Reich. / So, personally, I hope the Scots vote to stay a part of the United Kingdom. / Maybe I'll be living in Malibu by then. Or maybe Cornwall will become an independent country. I'd love to emigrate there!

Music? I'll be playing my guitar after lunch. I might do some recording. I might not.

I've got a cheese sandwich. Some crisps. A yoghurt. A can of Coke. No surprises. I don't want any surprises. 'How about a Pot Noodle?' No! / When I stayed in Cornwall for two months, over twenty years ago, in winter, no work, just living off savings, I had soup every day for lunch. Then I went to the pub in Polperro. I had a couple of ciders and read the paper. Then I went and sat on the bench overlooking the sea, and I ate chocolate limes while listening to Leonard Cohen's Songs From A Room and staring at the mist. 'Two months of that!' Probably the best time of my life.


Update: Brilliant! I've found a photograph of the bench. I don't know why they've called it Parrenporth though. That's Polperro. That's the bench!

Thursday, 21 November 2013

[No. 172] Isaac Corre and Josh Astrof are lost

Therefore I will wail and howl, I will go stripped and naked: I will make a wailing like the dragons, and mourning as the owls. - Micah 1:8

And Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[1], and LIFE IS HARD[1], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[2], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[1], and LIFE IS HARD[2], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![1], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[2], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[1], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![2], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[1], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[2], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[1], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[2], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[1], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[2], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[1], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[2], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[1], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[2], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[1], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[2], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[1], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[2], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[1], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[2], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[2], and LIFE IS HARD[3], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[3], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![3], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[3], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[3], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[3], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[3], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[3], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[3], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[3], and

And Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[1], and LIFE IS HARD[1], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[2], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[1], and LIFE IS HARD[2], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![1], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[2], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[1], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![2], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[1], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[2], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[1], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[2], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[1], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[2], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[1], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[2], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[1], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[2], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[1], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[2], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[1], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[2], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[1], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[2], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[2], and LIFE IS HARD[3], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[3], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![3], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[3], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[3], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[3], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[3], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[3], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[3], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[3], and

And Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[1], and LIFE IS HARD[1], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[2], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[1], and LIFE IS HARD[2], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![1], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[2], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[1], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![2], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[1], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[2], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[1], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[2], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[1], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[2], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[1], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[2], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[1], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[2], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[1], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[2], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[1], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[2], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[1], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[2], and Isaac and Josh are NOWHERE to be found / and maybe that's the way they like it - ? / I doubt it[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[2], and LIFE IS HARD[3], and it's a lonely road that some of us have to travel / and I just hope ... I pray that Isaac and Josh are TOGETHER, one[3], and if they wail and if they howl ... oh, do not judge them from the comfort of a warm office![3], and / what is the price of experience? / I'm asking you, YOU(!) ... in your tent of prosperity[3], and have YOU(!) ever been tested, as Isaac and Josh are being tested?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it can be easy or it can be hard, and it's mostly easy / so, we won't meet the wanderers ... a-ROUND here[3], and maybe they'll find a hut - ?[3], and maybe they'll find a way - ?[3], and ... yes, it's easy for us / we don't have to sleep on the cold ground / in the snow[3], and if the families and friends of Isaac and Josh ever get a-ROUND - a few spins - I'm sure they'll be grateful for these words[3], and this is the best I can do for men who are so lost and so unhappy[3], and I refuse to believe they're sinners ... being punished / It's just bad luck[3], and

Eton Park Capital Management has lost two more partners

Oh dear. / It keeps losing partners. Eton Park has lost four over the last three years. Now it's lost two more, Isaac Corre and Josh Astrof. 'So that's six, altogether.' Yeah. / Should we be worried about the future of Eton Park? Well, I'm not worried. To be honest with you, dear reader(s), I only found out about the existence of this hedge fund this morning. (Christ! How many hedge funds are there?) Some people like to say that Eton Park is a global, multi-disciplinary, team-oriented investment organization with the goal of providing investors with superior, risk-adjusted returns over the long-term. I don't know about that. And I'm not sure I care. (Do you, dear reader[[s!]]?) But if good men have disappeared, if they're lost, that's something we should care about, all of us. Eton Park is just a firm, that's all. It will survive - probably. Isaac and Josh, though, are men, flesh and blood, wandering the cold earth now, scared ...

I know what I'm going to do. 'No. 172, Mikey?' Yes, Voice, I'm going to write a conceptual about them. 'It will be a great comfort to them, wherever they are.' Oh, I hope so.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

[No. 171] Cave or hut?

It's got to be a hut, these days. A cave is too redolent of the desert.

And if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[1], and you feel so low[1], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[2], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[1], and you feel so low[2], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![1], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[2], and you feel so angry[1], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![2], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![1], and you feel so angry[2], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[1], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![2], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[1], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[2], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[1], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[2], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![1], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[2], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[1], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![2], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[1], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[2], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[1], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[2], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[1], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[2], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[2], and you feel so low[3], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[3], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![3], and you feel so angry[3], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![3], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[3], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[3], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[3], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![3], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[3], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[3], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[3], and

And if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[1], and you feel so low[1], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[2], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[1], and you feel so low[2], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![1], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[2], and you feel so angry[1], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![2], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![1], and you feel so angry[2], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[1], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![2], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[1], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[2], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[1], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[2], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![1], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[2], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[1], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![2], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[1], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[2], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[1], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[2], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[1], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[2], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[2], and you feel so low[3], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[3], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![3], and you feel so angry[3], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![3], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[3], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[3], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[3], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![3], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[3], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[3], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[3], and

And if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[1], and you feel so low[1], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[2], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[1], and you feel so low[2], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![1], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[2], and you feel so angry[1], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![2], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![1], and you feel so angry[2], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[1], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![2], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[1], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[2], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[1], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[2], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![1], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[2], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[1], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![2], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[1], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[2], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[1], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[2], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[1], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[2], and if you're looking for the solitude(?), my friend(s), I'm thinking you need a hut ... in a forest / What do you say?[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[2], and you feel so low[3], and yes ... even with your colleagues and friends all around / not ... a-ROUND / please don't cry[3], and you're not looking well / get out of the office![3], and you feel so angry[3], and ... LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!![3], and I know / I know, I know ... sometimes, money gets too much / it makes you sick, doesn't it?[3], and the work? / Oh, why do THE EVIL ONES want you to work?[3], and I'm trying to help / and I'm saying: get yourself to the nearest hut in the farthest forest[3], and the people who preach of work, they don't dig ditches, man / those cocksuckers are smoking their cigars![3], and I know you don't dig ditches, man / I'm just saying ... you dig?[3], and ... I think you understand / And so ... you need a hut[3], and I can't let you have a cave, my friend(s), I mean, I can't allow / I shut the desert / astral and physical[3], and / THERE IS NO DESERT ... as far as you're concerned, all right? / I make the rules ...[3], and

News about some product directors? / William Deer and Mitchell Fraser-Jones are leaving Invesco Perpetual

Shame. / They're upset about Neil Woodford leaving Invesco, you see, so they want to go too. ('Shit, man!' Why do you care?) Apparently, Willy and Mitch are going to pursue other opportunities. 'Oh, we've heard that before, Mikey. What do you think, cave or hut?' Er, probably a hut, Voice, in a forest. 'What, together?!' Maybe. You never know. They both worked on the UK equities desk. I've been told they're very close. 'Bosom buddies, like?' Yeah.

I wish them all the best. I don't know if they're cut out for the forests and the solitude. Time will tell, I suppose. 'In the old days it would have been the desert. Astral nights, the works.' Don't get all sentimental on me, Voice.

Nick Mustoe, chief investment officer, ain't worried. 'No?' No. He wishes Willy and Mitch all the best as well. / Nick knows the solitude, but not the forests. 'The desert?' Of course. He's old school. He's a top financial shaman, and one of my best friends -

Sand was pouring out of my mouth. I couldn't speak. I put the phone down. I fell out of my chair. I was writhing on the floor. Then I had the vision.

That was Nick in 2010. And I can tell you he hasn't changed a bit.

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Music? / Oh, same as usual. Struggling to get my guitar playing up to the right level of skill for recording. I've made a few adjustments to the lyrics for You're Lying and My Heart. (Tony Robbins talks about changing something by one millimetre and the whole thing changes. He's not wrong.) I'm convinced they're two of the greatest songs ever written. (What do you think I've been doing for the last year or so, dear reader(s), picking my nose?) I've got to make them sound like it though.

Politics? / 'Do we have to, boss?' Yes. 'Boring shite, man.' Labour are thinking about stopping benefits for the under twenty-fives if they get into power. Fucking idiots! Most decent "human" people are disgusted by the heartless, fascist Tories, and now Labour want to copy them. / I'm not voting for anyone! 'You're just like Russell Brand!' Oh, I wish I had his money, son.

Update: Labour have denied it, thank God! It was just the Telegraph, fantasizing, wanking off about its dream of a new Sparta or something.

Lunch? / YES!!!

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Svein Hogset is leaving TPG-Axon Capital Management

And leaving London. Going back to Norway! / Some deluded souls think Svein is going to set up a new hedge fund, a ridiculous European mid-cap long/short one. 'Ha!' Ha! Nonsense. Utter nonsense! 'Balderdash, boss!' Don't believe a word of it, my friend(s). He's actually going back to Norway because he wants to live in a hut. 'Brilliant, Mikey!' Oh yes, Voice. Just like Lieutenant Thomas Glahn.

Solitary adventures, I should imagine ... / He'll be glad to be alone, to know that none can see his eyes. / Out and about, Svein will lean securely against a rock wall, knowing that no one can stand and watch him from behind. A bird will swoop over the crest with a broken cry; at the same moment a boulder will break loose not far away and roll down into the sea. Svein will rest there for a while, quite still, sunk in repose; a warm and comfortable feeling will steal over him as he sits so snug in his shelter while the rain pours down around him. He'll button up his jacket and thank God for the warmth of it. A little time will pass. He'll fall asleep.

Well, that's what I reckon, anyway. Svein has enough money now. There's no need for him to work ever again. Why shouldn't he retreat from the stresses and horrors of modern life? Svein belongs to the forests and the solitude. / Back in his hut. I'm only wondering if there'll be any Iron Nights, nights of supreme tension. There might be some frost. Or instead of frost, a lingering heat after the sun of the days. / A night could be like a warm morass, I suppose. He'll probably pile up the fire ...

But it's none of my business! I'm just glad Svein is getting out of London, and getting away from hedge funds.

Monday, 18 November 2013

GLG Undervalued Assets fund

What?! Jesus! / Oh, it's too early in the morning for this nonsense, dear reader(s). A Monday morning as well. I want to go back to bed. 'Come on, man. Give it your best shot, Mikey! People are relying on you.' Okay, Voice, I'll give it my best shot. / The GLG Undervalued Assets fund is some new fund that Henry Dixon and his mates are managing at GLG. It launched the other day, I think. Yeah. Er, it's interested in UK equities - undervalued stocks, obviously. There might be some European stocks. 'Really?' We'll have to wait and see. 'Sounds exciting, boss.' Does it? / I think it's a rip-off of some Matterley fund, anyway. 'Oh, that's a shame.' But Henry and his gang are mixed up in that one, too. 'Crazy!' I hope they know what they're doing.

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Monday morning ... and finance. 'Ha!' Oh, God, eh? What an absolutely toxic combination! It could be worse, I suppose. I could be writing the whole day. 'Ha!' A whole day on a Monday? Never going to happen, my friend(s). I've got what’s known in certain circles as a life, well, almost. 'You've got a guitar!' Yes, I've got a guitar. All I need is three chords and ... THE TRUTH!

There was a good film on one of the Freeview channels yesterday about Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. / A comedy writer said to Martin that he wanted to get to know him better so he could write better material for him, and Martin replied: "No one gets to know me better. Not even my wife." He must have been the coolest person on the planet in his day.

And he had cool friends, of course. / A few years ago I read a book about the exploits of the Rat Pack, hanging out in Hollywood and Vegas. / I don't recommend it, the book. Not because it was a bad book. It was a great book. It's just that you'll end up ashamed of your own life, how dull it is.

Dull, dull, dull ... / When I hear about the people that are being forced on to Workfare, I wonder why they don't just go absolutely nuts - like Mr Polly. Throw all caution to the wind, as it were. They really have nothing to lose. They're the sort of people who should read the book. / Everyone's worried about where the next meal is coming from ...

Thursday, 14 November 2013

[No. 170] Charles Stanley ain't no human being

He's a firm.

And you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[1], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[2], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[2], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[1], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[2], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[1], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[2], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[1], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[2], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[1], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[2], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[1], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[2], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[1], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[2], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[1], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[2], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[1], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[2], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[1], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[2], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[1], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[2], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[2], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[3], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[3], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[3], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[3], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[3], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[3], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[3], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[3], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[3], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[3], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[3], and

And you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[1], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[2], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[2], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[1], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[2], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[1], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[2], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[1], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[2], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[1], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[2], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[1], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[2], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[1], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[2], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[1], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[2], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[1], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[2], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[1], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[2], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[1], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[2], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[2], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[3], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[3], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[3], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[3], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[3], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[3], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[3], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[3], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[3], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[3], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[3], and

And you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[1], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[2], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[1], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[2], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[1], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[2], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[1], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[2], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[1], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[2], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[1], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[2], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[1], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[2], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[1], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[2], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[1], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[2], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[1], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[2], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[1], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[2], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[1], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[2], and you can say what you like about Charles Stanley: you're not going to hurt his feelings, "it" doesn't have any feelings[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[2], and I like the ones with names that are human, you know?[3], and if you didn't know, you could believe ...[3], and there are many SOULS(!) and BODIES(!) ... at Charles Stanley, the firm / breathing, moving, really living[3], and / one of the oldest firms on the London Stock Exchange / is it any consolation?[3], and I'm feeling ... REAL MEAN / I always feel / that's half my charm[3], and if Charlie were alive, spinning a-ROUND here and getting DIZZY, I'd be more understanding[3], and it's the staff I feel sorry for, working for a man who has never existed[3], and maybe - if I had the time, the energy - I could create a Charlie / out of bits and pieces / of the workers[3], and sometimes YOU(!) / must think I'm reasonably(?) SICK / but(!) ... at least I'm looking for solutions, eh?[3], and / broken, just a bit, it all ...[3], and I know it's fragments / oh, maybe YOU(!) should get a-ROUND / faster to make it all smoother[3], and I'm ANGRY now - at myself / so let's leave it here[3], and