Monday, 29 September 2014

Chase Coleman wants even more money!

Unbelievable! I mean, I can't ... Chase has already had $1.5 billion out of investors. 'Lucky git.' Now he wants another $1.5 billion ... oh, for his hedge fund, obviously, Tyger Global Management. 'Christ! What's the deal with this guy, Mikey?' I don't know, man. I really don't know. / Is Charles Payson "Chase Me" Coleman III absolutely money mad? I tried speaking to him on the phone, you know, dear reader(s). All I got out of him was pure gibberish. 'Why? What did he say?' Well, he kept quoting William Blake at me, Voice. 'Really?' Yeah, like ... that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, I really love your tyger light. 'Ha!' And ... that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I really love your tyger feet. 'Oh, he sounds crazy, boss. Insane! / And he seriously expects investors to stump up another $1.5 billion?!' Well, if Chase is getting results ... I don't know. This is the world today, man. There's nothing we can do about it.

...

Anything else? Er ... I'm listening to a blues compilation. All the old greats from years ago. Every sweet married woman, she's got a back door friend. Ain't that the truth. / Leonard Cohen has a new album out. Cohen is eighty now, which gives me hope. I mean, I'm hoping I'll be able to record my demo before I reach eighty.

Er ... / In the Sun today, Cameron says he's not going to apologize for being posh. Trust him to miss the point. Decent folk are attacking Cameron because ... he only cares for other posh people in our society. Do you know what I mean? If you didn't go to school with Dave, you can fuck off down the food bank.

UKIP are a joke too. How are an assortment of ultra-Tories supposed to represent the interests of the common man and woman in the street? / Having said that, get rich or die tryin', yeah? I'm afraid it's the only thing that makes sense in the world today. Just ask Chase.

And if you can't get rich, get blue, you dig? Get your guitar out and let it all hang out ...

Richard Plackett is returning to BlackRock!

Christ. Jesus. I've been looking through my archive, reader(s) ... / Our Richie was a shaman, you know? I never knew (well, I did) but he knew the desert. Years went by. Richie popped up in my consciousness again. 'Like a bad penny, boss.' I wouldn't say that, Voice. / Oh yes, he popped up ... again, in March of this year. He wanted a sabbatical - of all things. 'Ha!' No one knew what he would be doing. 'But we knew!' Yes, we knew. We arranged it. For the last six months Richie has been getting a-ROUND, No. 199. 'So ... DIZZY!' Now, we've released him. He's returning to BlackRock next month - a new man!

Well, I have been speaking to our Richie, and this is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, I'm a new man, thanks to you. (Yeah. The funny thing, Richie, is that six months ago I thought I was dealing with you for the first time. I had forgotten that you'd been a financial shaman for years.) Don't worry about it. I was never a big player. Just one of the little guys. Why should you remember one of the little guys in the world of mystical capitalism? (I still feel bad about it though. / How was your sabbatical?) Wild, man. Totally wild. If someone had told me six months ago ... "Richie, you'll be spending the next six months spinning a-ROUND inside one of Mikey Fowke's conceptual posts," I would have said they were insane, utterly insane. (Yeah. But you've done it, son. How do you think it compares to the desert?) What?! It pisses all over the desert, man. Like a lot of shamans, I was pretty upset when you shut down the desert. We thought you had lost it, frankly. Now we realize you were only moving on to greater glories. You're a genius, Mr Fowke. (Thanks, Richie. That means a lot.) I just hope I can keep my head straight at BlackRock. I'll be managing the UK Special Situations fund again, with Roland Arnold. (What's he like?) Bit of a square. Nice guy, of course. However, I won't be telling him about the conceptual shit.'

Well, well, well ... eh? Another success for the world's foremost financial shaman!

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Christopher Rokos?

Er ... Chris Rokos? Oh, God. I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I'm absolutely knackered, yeah? I'm writing this blog, living my life, squeezing in my guitar playing whenever I can, so ... / At least I can go to the pub tomorrow, down by the river. I haven't seen Oliver Cromwell's ghost yet. He used to drink in this pub, no shit. (When he was alive, of course. The ghost wasn't drinking in the pub. Imagine that!) / So, er, Chris Rokos? 'Come on, boss!' Right. Let's get this done, quickly. Mr Rokos used to be a partner at Brevan Howard - a founding partner, believe it or not. 'Ha!' (It's not funny.) But he left with a non-compete agreement, you see. 'Oh, big mistake, Mikey! Why did he sign it?' He wasn't thinking straight, man, I suppose. 'Bloody hell. Fool! Educated at Oxford, was he?' MA, Mathematics. 'Ha!' / The problem is, he runs a family office now ... you know, with his mum and dad and aunts and uncles helping out, however - 'They're cramping his style, yeah?' Yes. That's exactly what they're doing. Chris wants to get away from all that family crap and start a proper hedge fund. 'And Brevan Howard won't let him? Christ!' It's a cruel world, Voice. There's going to be a court case next year. It's been delayed.

...

Well, I hope it all works out. I really don't know who's right and who's wrong. I just hate to see people fighting. We need to make love not war, you dig?

Anyway, that's it for this week. Laters.

[No. 254] Max Keiser is a-ROUND

He's got to be somewhere ...

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

And ... / here I am ...[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[1], and ... / here I am ...[2], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[1], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[2], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[1], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[2], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[1], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[2], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[1], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[2], and existence ... is the problem[1], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[2], and there are no answers[1], and existence ... is the problem[2], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![1], and there are no answers[2], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[1], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![2], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[1], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[2], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[1], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[2], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[1], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[2], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[1], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[2], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![1], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[2], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![1], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![2], and ... / here I am ...[3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![2], and Max is a-ROUND here ... because I say so / That's the power I have[3], and it's not the puppet on TV, it's the ... SOUL, yeah? / We are all puppets in the world[3], and ... / Is there any such thing as real freedom?[3], and it's not the voice, his voice, the gestures, it's the silence in the eyes[3], and can YOU(!) ... honestly say that you've made the effort to get beyond the THREE?[3], and existence ... is the problem[3], and there are no answers[3], and our corrupt world makes no sense when we're DIZZY, so ... let's get DIZZY!!![3], and a-ROUND with Max, with me, you are ... here[3], and if I gave you a Mikeycoin ...[3], and you need to feel better / we all need to feel better / The world is killing us ...[3], and if Max put a gold bar under your pillow ...[3], and I think ... (I try to think) ... we're all very tired ... but we must ... we must ... get a-ROUND, so ...[3], and ... / DON'T STOP!!![3], and ... / Everyone is so full of lies, but not YOU(!) ... please![3], and

Who on earth is Tineke Frikkee?!

Well, she's a girl, and she manages a fund. Is there anything else you need to know, dear reader(s)? 'They want more than that, boss.' All right. Tineke manages a fund for Smith & Williamson. The UK Equity Income Trust. She's only managing £8 million now. Nothing like the billions she used to manage at Newton Investment Management. But she don't care! 'Why?! Why don't she care, Mikey?' She don't care, Voice, because at Smith & Williamson they leave her alone to do her own thing. 'Oh. Were they disciplined at Newton, then?' You bet your ass they were, boy. 'I don't have an ass. I don't have a body, man.' Let's not get into that now. The point I'm making is, our Tineke is a free spirit. If I were still taking on financial shamans, she would make a pretty good one. She doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, you dig? And she wants some excitement! She wants to feel alive! Merely delivering a dividend? Forget about it. That's for squares, man. Tineke is the sort of chick that gets her kicks finding a balance between capital gains and an interesting yield.

...

And Smith & Williamson? Er ... I've only written about the firm once before, when the lost soul Philip Lawlor joined them. This is from their website: Our prime aim is to help our clients achieve their ambitions, both corporate and personal. Our clients are varied - private individuals, mid-large businesses, professional practices and non-profit organizations. / 'Impressive, Mikey. I particularly like the "personal" bit.' So do I. There aren't many financial firms that will help you learn the guitar. 'Eh?' Well, it doesn't have to be the guitar, Voice. It can be anything. Any personal ambition you've got, they'll help you with it. A totally free service as well, surprisingly. 'Are they crazy?!' They're just really nice people, man. Not everyone who works in finance is a monster, you know.

...

And in other news? Er ... maybe later, reader(s), tonight, yeah? / Oh, I've been watching Max Keiser a lot more lately, on RT. I actually think he might be the best financial journalist around. I don't know if he's saying the things that Putin wants him to say, but he seems to be telling the TRUTH(!) about the world - as far as I know or can imagine (the truth). He doesn't have three chords though. He doesn't have a guitar. Never mind. The TRUTH(!) is enough ... !

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

[No. 253] Good things take time

But do they take forever?

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

And you're welcome ... anytime[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![1], and you're welcome ... anytime[2], and this is as good as it gets[1], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![2], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![1], and this is as good as it gets[2], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[1], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![2], and good ... is ... good enough[1], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[2], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[1], and good ... is ... good enough[2], and it's your move[1], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[2], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[1], and it's your move[2], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[1], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[2], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![1], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[2], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[1], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![2], and / COME ON![1], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[2], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[1], and / COME ON![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[1], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[2], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[2], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[1], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[2], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[1], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[2], and this ... is forever[1], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[2], and you're welcome ... anytime[3], and this ... is forever[2], and Hal Lehr and I are in the same boat ... and the boat is rocking, man![3], and this is as good as it gets[3], and we don't care ... when we're DIZZY all a-ROUND and out of our heads / We've got forever![3], and hedge fund shenanigans or rock stardom? / What can I say? / Do what makes you happy ...[3], and good ... is ... good enough[3], and have you got the time? / and have you got the imagination? / and have you got the will?[3], and it's your move[3], and googly eyeballs floating above a skull ... is one way to get through the life that God has given YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... we make our own entertainment, son[3], and the golden rule is: Don't be bored![3], and ... / I'm just like Jesus or Jimi or Ziggy after a few hours of riffs / and who are YOU(!) ... at your best?[3], and / COME ON![3], and you can purr like a cat with the prime minister ... I won't judge you[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Are we DIZZY yet?[3], and if ... oh, if ... your job is the disease, this is the cure[3], and ... / ... I don't know how you feel because you never tell me[3], and we've got a good thing going here, baby ... so don't spoil it with crazy thoughts of going straight and square[3], and this ... is forever[3], and

Hal Lehr is launching Aithon Capital - at last!

Oh, but not yet. No. Next January. Yeah, January next year he promises to launch his hedge fund. 'Ha!' He's just like me with my demo. We all know how life is. It's easy to get confused. It's easy to get stuck in the jam of disgusting reality. Hal was going to launch Aithon Capital a couple of years ago. I was going to record my songs a couple of years ago. However, there is a time for everything, as the Preacher knew. I've been improving my guitar skills, and Hal has ... been watching the markets, I suppose. Up and down. I don't know. Frankly, it's none of my business. And it's none of your business, dear reader(s). 'Slags!' (Yes, thank you, Voice.) Hal will get his shit together eventually. If not January next year, then January the year after. What's the rush? Good things take time. I played my guitar for four hours yesterday! I'm making progress. Hal's making progress. Everyone calm down, please. Hal and I will be ready when we're ready.

Er ... / Hal Lehr, by the way, used to be a trader at Deutsche Bank and Soros Fund Management. 'Great!' Don't bother looking for his LinkedIn profile though because it's a joke. I doubt he set it up. It just says ... hal lehr - United States. 'Oh, for fuck's sake, Mikey!' I know. Not even capitals for his name. And only three connections. 'Ha! Who are the schnooks who connected with him?' I don't know, man. It doesn't bear thinking about, does it?

...

Anything else? Not really. / I've got a cheese sandwich for lunch. But I guess you knew that already.

Politics? ... / David Cameron and the purring queen? Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. I'm disgusted. / Er ... Ed Miliband's speech was all right yesterday. Not amazing though. / Apparently, the minimum wage will be £8 an hour ... in 2020 ... so, it'll be worth less than it is now. / This country is in a right mess. Germany was bombed to shit by the end of the Second World War. And we're ...

Jesus! / I can't even play my guitar today, much. I've got a conceptual to write, No. 253. I'll play a bit, lunchtime and tonight. Yeah. / I've got to keep the dream alive, you dig?

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Whistleblower gets $30 million from the SEC!

Not bad, is it? '$30 million, Mikey! Did he win the lottery?' No. Open your ears, Voice. 'I haven't got any ears, man.' Christ. He or she, I mean the whistleblower, was given $30 million by the Securities and Exchange Commission in America. 'For what?!' For supplying them with some information about a fraud. 'Oh, I get it. If you wanna squeal, said the SEC, we can make a deal, make it worth your while. So he told them all, and in return he got a credit card and a Thunderbird, and the maximum security even after plastic surgery. So, go on and squeal, said the SEC, we can make a deal, make it worth your while.' Well, I'm sure it wasn't quite like that, Voice. 'Who is this chivato, anyway?' I don't know. The SEC hasn't named the whistleblower.

But it's given me an idea. 'Really? What?' Well, we all know the whole world is totally corrupt, don't we? 'Yeah.' So, all I've got to do is let the SEC know. 'Eh?' Man, listen. I phone the SEC, right? 'Yeah.' And I tell whoever answers the phone: They're all at it, son. Everyone! Everyone in banking, in business, in politics. Everyone is corrupt. Now, give me money. 'Brilliant!' What about that, eh? Eh?! 'You're a genius, boss!' I know. I reckon they'll give me billions for that information. 'Everyone else in the world will get fined and go to prison though.' Er ... that's not my problem, man. Don't play with fire unless you want to get burned. 'Don't even be born, boss.' That's even better advice, Voice. / People have only got themselves to blame.

...

And in other news ... The FCA in our glorious Great Britain has fined Barclays £38 million for breaching City rules requiring clients' funds to be kept separate from the bank's own assets. 'Jesus!' / Do you see what I mean, dear reader(s)?

And that's why I'm going to be playing my guitar for the rest of the day. Playing the guitar is a lot like joining the French Foreign Legion. You can just forget the world.

Monday, 22 September 2014

Chandler Blockage and other top traders have left Point72 Asset Management

Well, well, well ... / I was wrong about Chandler Blockage. It seems he does actually exist. He's not some shadowy monster from the darkest night. He's a genuine human being. My apologies to Chandler, his family, and friends.

Anyway, let's move on, yeah? / Our Chandler and other top traders (Anthony Chedid, Ted Orenstein, Tom Rabolli, Tim Schneider, Petey Avellone, and Shoney Katz) have left Stevie's Point72 Asset Management. Why?! ('No need for the exclamation mark, boss.') Well, this is just a theory of mine ... I think they miss the excitement of the old days. The thing is - as I've mentioned before - Stevie don't want anyone doing nothing no more. He don't want the heat coming down on him. He just wants a quiet life now. And I don't blame him! Stevie has had enough excitement for one lifetime. / I bet he's secretly relieved that the wild boys have left ...

[By the way, Shoney Katz? What a cool fucking name! Hi, I'm Shoney Katz. Brilliant!]

...

Anything else? Well ...

Music?! ('No need for the exclamation mark, boss.') I'm listening to John Mayall's Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton. I'm going to put the Layla album on in a minute. / Me? Er ... I'm making decent progress with my guitar playing, man. I'm on target for the Gallagher/Cobain level by Christmas. However, next year I'll want to go further. Ideally, I'd like to reach the David Gilmour level. He's not a total wizard like Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Prince, those types ... but he's a classy player and a cut above most guitarists. (Listen to him at the end of Comfortably Numb.)

Lunch? (No exclamation mark. Are you happy now, Voice?) I haven't been to the shop yet. I'm seriously considering purchasing a cheese sandwich. No surprises. I don't care.

Politics?!?! Do we have to? All right. / David "Longshanks" Cameron is trying to weasel out of the promise he made to the Scots last week. Christ! What a prime minister, eh?! If he ... / Oh, I can't be bothered. Life's too short.

...

Key to the Highway. That's my favourite track on Layla. It's a cover. I like it for the guitar playing, obviously.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

The Establishment is scared

[A post for my common, downtrodden readers - if there are any.]

Yes, the Establishment is scared. Which is the best and most entertaining thing to come out of the referendum. Normally, it's the little people who are scared - the ones who are unemployed, have had their benefits sanctioned, are on Workfare, who use food banks. Or it's the ones who are disabled or ill, or just poor, or just unlucky enough not to have been born into an upper-class family. The usual victims, as it were. But the times they have a-changed (for a while). Now it's Oxbridge-educated politicians who are scared, and bankers, big business goons, Old Etonians, Bullingdon Club boys, aristocrats, castle owners in Scotland, army generals, media barons ... / And I'm loving every minute of it! The Scottish "Yes" people are teaching us something. They're teaching us that we don't have to take shit forever. Even if they lose today/tomorrow, it's a lesson we should remember.

...

Well, that's it for this week. I'm gonna play my guitar now. (I might do some recording on Sunday.) You see, all I've got is three chords and the TRUTH, man!

Tune in next week for all the exciting financial news! Money is the way ... where money makes no sense at all.

[No. 252] Benny Maynard will get to love getting a-ROUND

It's better than any bouncy castle. And Benny has the whole of eternity. I don't see a problem.

And this ... ain't finance[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[1], and this ... ain't finance[2], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[2], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![1], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[2], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[1], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![2], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[1], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![1], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[2], and I know how I feel ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![2], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![1], and I know how I feel ...[2], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![1], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![2], and a-ROUND, faster![1], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![2], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![1], and a-ROUND, faster![2], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[1], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![2], and this ... ain't finance[3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[2], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[3], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[3], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![3], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[3], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![3], and I know how I feel ...[3], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![3], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![3], and a-ROUND, faster![3], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[3], and

And this ... ain't finance[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[1], and this ... ain't finance[2], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[2], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![1], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[2], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[1], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![2], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[1], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![1], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[2], and I know how I feel ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![2], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![1], and I know how I feel ...[2], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![1], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![2], and a-ROUND, faster![1], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![2], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![1], and a-ROUND, faster![2], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[1], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![2], and this ... ain't finance[3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[2], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[3], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[3], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![3], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[3], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![3], and I know how I feel ...[3], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![3], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![3], and a-ROUND, faster![3], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[3], and

And this ... ain't finance[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[1], and this ... ain't finance[2], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[1], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[2], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![1], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[2], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[1], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![2], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[1], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![1], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[2], and I know how I feel ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![2], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![1], and I know how I feel ...[2], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![1], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![2], and a-ROUND, faster![1], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![2], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![1], and a-ROUND, faster![2], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[1], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![2], and this ... ain't finance[3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[2], and ... we've got to give him time, freak(s) / he don't know where he is yet[3], and ... er, equity derivatives? NO! / ... / no, no, no / not here, not today, and not FOREVER[3], and right here is an idea for our Benny ... get DIZZY, son![3], and you can take a man out of Aviva Investors, and you can make him love the dizziness[3], and / Hello ... don't be shy, Benny / my mystic kooks are very friendly[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... how do YOU(!) feel? / Isn't this absolutely wild?![3], and I know how I feel ...[3], and our Benny is the type who is up for anything / a genuine man of action / a crazy risk-taker![3], and there was a time when finance squares frowned on this sort of thing, ha![3], and a-ROUND, faster![3], and ice cream all over your face, Benny / and Stella all over your shirt / you're really living, boy![3], and / Oh, we're living the dream, aren't we?[3], and

Who is Ben Maynard at Aviva Investors?

Well, it goes without saying that he's Ben Maynard at Aviva Investors. Er ... is there anything else you need to know? 'Your readers need more than that, Mikey.' Why, Voice, why?! 'They just do. So tell them. Come on! Tell them who Ben Maynard is.' All right. Ben Maynard is the ideas man at Aviva Investors. 'Brilliant! Investment ideas, yeah?' No, don't be silly. They don't do any investing, do they? Ben is in charge of entertainment and events. 'Eh?' Like the Christmas party last year. Ben had the great idea of hiring a bouncy castle. 'Really?' Yeah. They put it up in the office. / And Ben is the one that makes sure everyone has enough ice cream in the summer. And in winter he decides which pubs they're going to. 'Don't they have a regular pub?' That would be boring, Voice. It's Ben's job to keep everyone excited and full of enthusiasm for Aviva Investors. 'Are you sure, boss? It's just that I've read Ben is the new head of equity derivatives in the multi-asset team, responsible for coming up with investment ideas.' Ha! Nonsense! This "head of equity derivatives" thing is an honorary title. 'Oh.' Yeah. It means nothing. But it stops any clients from getting worried. 'How?' Well, imagine the scene ... A client visits Aviva Investors, and they see Ben making a fool of himself, maybe walking around the office with a pair of fake breasts. The client says: "Who is that man?!" And then Euan Munro, as quick as a flash, says: "That's Ben Maynard, our head of equity derivatives. He's responsible for coming up with investment ideas." Immediately, the client's mind is put at rest. 'Clever.' But if Euan were to say: "Oh, Benny? He's a total nutjob, but we love the guy. You won't believe what he's got planned for Friday," the client would probably walk out the door.

...

Obviously, I'll be taking Benny for a spin after lunch, No. 252. / Lunch? No surprises. Cheese sandwich. I'm not complaining.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

[No. 251] A diamond as big as a planet

A diamond as big as the Ritz? Fuck that shit!

And, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[1], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[2], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[2], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[1], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[2], and you make your own luck[1], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[2], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[1], and you make your own luck[2], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[1], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[2], and do YOU(!) believe?[1], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[2], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![1], and do YOU(!) believe?[2], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[1], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![2], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![1], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[2], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[1], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![2], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![1], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[2], and we deserve the best things in life[1], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![2], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[1], and we deserve the best things in life[2], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[1], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[2], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[2], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[3], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[3], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[3], and you make your own luck[3], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[3], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[3], and do YOU(!) believe?[3], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![3], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[3], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![3], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[3], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![3], and we deserve the best things in life[3], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[3], and

And, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[1], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[2], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[2], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[1], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[2], and you make your own luck[1], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[2], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[1], and you make your own luck[2], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[1], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[2], and do YOU(!) believe?[1], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[2], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![1], and do YOU(!) believe?[2], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[1], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![2], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![1], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[2], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[1], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![2], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![1], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[2], and we deserve the best things in life[1], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![2], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[1], and we deserve the best things in life[2], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[1], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[2], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[2], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[3], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[3], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[3], and you make your own luck[3], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[3], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[3], and do YOU(!) believe?[3], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![3], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[3], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![3], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[3], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![3], and we deserve the best things in life[3], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[3], and

And, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[1], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[2], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[1], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[2], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[1], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[2], and you make your own luck[1], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[2], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[1], and you make your own luck[2], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[1], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[2], and do YOU(!) believe?[1], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[2], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![1], and do YOU(!) believe?[2], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[1], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![2], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![1], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[2], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[1], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![2], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![1], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[2], and we deserve the best things in life[1], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![2], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[1], and we deserve the best things in life[2], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[1], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[2], and, er ... / let's go! / yeah, no time to waste[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[2], and we gotta get DIZZY all a-ROUND until our heads are gone and the diamond is found[3], and I'm talking about a massive diamond, man! / ... / oh, it is a planet, and it's out there somewhere[3], and forget about any sort of ship coming in ...[3], and you make your own luck[3], and we don't need the end of no stinking rainbow, man, but I reckon we better get beyond the THREE, you dig?[3], and here is the place where dreams start to come true[3], and do YOU(!) believe?[3], and it's a diamond, a diamond as big as a planet, a diamond, a diamond that actually is ... a planet![3], and when we finally get our minds on it, how many fair-weather friends will come out of the woodwork?[3], and nobody knows you when you ain't got two pennies to rub together - that's a scientific fact![3], and when our planet falls from the sky ...[3], and ... we're looking up, full of hope / oh, where is it? / It's our minds that will catch it, believe![3], and we deserve the best things in life[3], and there's gonna be BIG CHANGES a-ROUND here ... when our planet hits us[3], and it goes without saying ... that I'm staying POSITIVE[3], and

Citigroup has $62 trillion of open contracts!

Well, it did have ... at the end of June. You know, derivatives. I don't know how many open contracts Citigroup has now. ('Probably around the same, boss. Although JPMorgan has more.') Not sure I really care. Still, it's impressive, ain't it? I just hope there's not a big disaster or anything. We don't want another crisis. Imagine all the exciting stories, banks collapsing and shit. The financial media hates exciting stories like that.

It's much better to write about trillions in open contracts. ('Trillions!') Trillions!!! All that money ... / Uh ... well. Christ. / In other news, someone has bought a diamond, a blue one, for $28 million - which is nothing. ('Ha!') Nothing! We were talking about trillions of dollars only a moment ago, now we're talking about millions. ('Not even billions, Mikey. Fucking hell!') It's pretty depressing ... / I feel sorry for the guy who has bought it. How must he feel knowing that there are trillions of dollars in the world? He must realize he ain't impressing anyone with his new diamond.

Of course, the guy who dug it out of the ground got ... what? What did he get, exactly?! ('He kept his job, boss.') Christ! (Why is Voice in brackets today?) / I reckon there are planets in outer space made of pure diamond. 'Really? / Oh, screw the brackets, man!' Hello, Voice. Yeah, I'm sure I've read about them. You know what? I'd like to build a spaceship, man, and visit one of these planets, cut big chunks out of it, and then bring the chunks of diamond back to earth. I wouldn't be Mr Popular, would I? I'd still like to do it though. 'What?! You'd be popular with the ladies, boss.' I'm talking about the mining companies, Voice. I'd put them out of business.

Anything else? Well, I've got my favourite cheese sandwich for lunch today, from Morrisons. Cheese and Tomato. Only £1. A bargain! / After lunch, I'll be working on a conceptual, No. 251. A diamond as big as a planet. 'Nice one!' Yeah ...

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Brian Hunter pays $750,000 for the privilege of not trading any more

Sounds like a strange deal, don't it? Why would anyone pay money not to trade? 'Don't be silly, boss. It's a fine. Brian Hunter has been fined $750,000 by the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission for attempting to manipulate natural gas futures prices - according to them.' Oh. 'Amaranth Advisors collapsed because of it. Years ago! 2006!' Ah, the apple trees! When the world was young, et cetera. / So, is Brian banned from trading? 'I'm not sure, man. It's very confusing. I think he's banned from some trading.' Some? Not all? 'I don't know.' / Well, well, well ... dear reader(s), you don't come here for the facts anyway, do you? You come here for the rock and roll, the laughs, the great artistry, and my astonishing charisma.

Er ... where are we now? That's enough finance.

Politics?! Scotland? Oh, all right. If you insist. / I fear David Cameron has left it too late. The emotion, and tears. If Cameron had wanted to keep Scotland in the Union he would have been more careful with his government's policies. Basically, he has been serving the top 1 per cent of society for the last four years. Millions of "normal" people all over the United Kingdom are pissed off. Unfortunately, some of those millions now have a chance to leave the misery (I mean the Conservative party) behind. / I hope Scotland doesn't vote for independence, mainly because of the mess that will be made. But let's see what happens, eh? Only two days to go!

...

Anything else? ... / Well, I tried writing a conceptual post last night - in my sleep! I'm serious, man. I dreamt it! And I can still remember the title. (I'm not going to use it because it's not very good. Dream-writing is overrated, if you ask me.) A funny thing though ... there was this annoying man looking over my shoulder while I was working on the post. He was like a retired major at the bar in a golf club. You know the sort of person. UKIP supporter, that type. Was he a symbol? 'The dead soul of conservatism, Mikey!' Not bad, Voice!

Monday, 15 September 2014

Aviva Investors has dumped its Global Convertibles Absolute Return fund on Westwood Holdings

Yeah, it's a smart move. (Westwood Holdings is a US firm, by the way. Bit of extra detail.) Fund managers David Clott and Shawn Mato have been kicked out of Aviva Investors, too, because ... they each have a hard-on for hard work. Ha!

Well, I have been speaking to the chief executive of Aviva Investors, Euan Munro. This is what was, er, spoken between us: 'Mikey, beautiful, ain't it, this move? Am I a genius, or am I a genius? (Yeah, you're pretty smart, Euan.) The summer-in-the-park-eating-ice-cream season may be coming to an end but this decision to get rid of two hard-working fund managers and their cockamamie fund means we'll be able to concentrate on the upcoming winter-in-the-pub-drinking-Stella season with no distractions. (Didn't Schroders want the fund?) Well, they manage all our other funds. However, we thought it would be taking the piss asking them to look after the Global Convertibles Absolute Return fund as well. (Oh, you're such crazy guys at Aviva Investors! But this is the future of finance, man.) Yeah. We were thinking of following you into the rock and roll game, Mikey. (Really?) Yeah. Then we read about all the guitar practice you do, and I said to one of the guys here, "Sod that for a game of soldiers!" Do you know what I mean? (Well, it is hard work, Euan. I can only get to the pub once a week.) Once a week?! Ridiculous!'

Ridiculous, dear reader(s)? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. The way I see it I'm building a future for myself. I am knackered half the time though. I suppose I sort of envy the Aviva Investors mob.

...

Lunch? Oh, give me a chance, man. I haven't been to the shop yet. / Er, I'll probably get a cheese sandwich, but no crisps and no Coke. I'm seriously gonna get healthy now, so ... I'll have a yoghurt and a mug of tea with the sandwich.

After lunch? Use your imagination ...

Friday, 12 September 2014

[No. 250] Let's get DIZZY all a-ROUND with Emmanuel Hermann and Julie Dean!

It's a purifying experience in my experience.

And I'm feeling better already![1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![1], and I'm feeling better already![2], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![2], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[1], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[2], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![1], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[2], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[1], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![2], and DIZZY is only the half of it![1], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[2], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[1], and DIZZY is only the half of it![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[1], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[2], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[2], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[1], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[2], and / what can I say - now?[1], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[2], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[1], and / what can I say - now?[2], and this ... is it![1], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[2], and I'm feeling better already![3], and this ... is it![2], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![3], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[3], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[3], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![3], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[3], and DIZZY is only the half of it![3], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[3], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[3], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[3], and / what can I say - now?[3], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[3], and this ... is it![3], and

And I'm feeling better already![1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![1], and I'm feeling better already![2], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![2], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[1], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[2], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![1], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[2], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[1], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![2], and DIZZY is only the half of it![1], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[2], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[1], and DIZZY is only the half of it![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[1], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[2], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[2], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[1], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[2], and / what can I say - now?[1], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[2], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[1], and / what can I say - now?[2], and this ... is it![1], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[2], and I'm feeling better already![3], and this ... is it![2], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![3], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[3], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[3], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![3], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[3], and DIZZY is only the half of it![3], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[3], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[3], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[3], and / what can I say - now?[3], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[3], and this ... is it![3], and

And I'm feeling better already![1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![1], and I'm feeling better already![2], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[1], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![2], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[1], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[2], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![1], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[2], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[1], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![2], and DIZZY is only the half of it![1], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[2], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[1], and DIZZY is only the half of it![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[1], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[2], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[2], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[1], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[2], and / what can I say - now?[1], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[2], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[1], and / what can I say - now?[2], and this ... is it![1], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[2], and I'm feeling better already![3], and this ... is it![2], and knowing what's going on is overrated, my friend(s) / We don't need to know NOTHING![3], and hello, Emmanuel! / and hello, Julie! / Meet the freaks ...[3], and for the sad ones, I can say ... Leste will focus on risk arbitrage, credit, and distressed assets / Are you happy now?[3], and don't kid yourself / You're just like Socrates![3], and for the mad ones, I can say ... Julie Dean joined Schroders when Cazenove was taken over by ... Schroders / All right?[3], and DIZZY is only the half of it![3], and / knowledge is dirt ... in my soul[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is no pain / so why would you want to be over there with those wretched squares, man?[3], and yeah, yeah, yeah ... / What are we doing with our lives?[3], and did you come back here, my sad/mad one, dreaming of a news story that would make sense to your diseased little mind?[3], and / what can I say - now?[3], and I don't wanna disappoint nobody, man, but a shaman's gotta do what a shaman's gotta do[3], and this ... is it![3], and

Emmanuel Hermann and Julie Dean ... confusion will keep them together!

Right. Er ... / Confusion! / Let me explain. I made some notes late last night when I was feeling a bit sleepy because I wanted to avoid the dongle twats this morning. I've just had a look at the internet and managed to get Julie Dean's LinkedIn profile in Portuguese before it cut out. (She's not Portuguese as far as I know, but Emmanuel Hermann is Brazilian.) This Hermann guy is not a munster, he's the boss of a new hedge fund, Leste. He's just left BTG Pactual in Brazil where he was a big noise ... or cheese. He was a proprietary trader and responsible for a desk and some chairs. A caretaker as well? [I really need the Voice to help me with this. Where are you, Voice?!] Julie Dean has just left Schroders. LinkedIn says (er, yeah, in Portuguese) that she was working at Cazenove Capital Management. But she wasn't! 'She was at Schroders, boss.' Yes, Voice. Where the fuck have you been, man?! 'Oh ... the world of spirit.' Well, thank Christ you're here now. I can't get a signal, or I can't hold on to a signal for more than a couple of minutes. Those dongle twats are twats! 'Yeah, obviously.' And I've got fragments of two different stories here that make no sense WHATSOEVER(!). I'm close to giving up, son. 'No!' Maybe I should play my guitar for the rest of the day, eh? 'No, you can't do that, Mikey. You have a responsibility to your readers.' Do I? 'Yes. Where else are they going to go, one of those square websites? These people are the coolest people on the planet, daddy-o. They ain't gonna get their news from some square website, are they?' The voice of sanity! Thank you, Voice.

I'll tell you what, dear reader(s): take this post now - as a sort of down payment, as it were - and I'll get to work on a conceptual (No. 250) which will make sense of EVERYTHING(!). 'Is that a good idea, boss?' It's a brilliant idea, Voice. Financial shit makes more sense to me when I'm all a-ROUND and DIZZY. And if it doesn't make sense, who cares? I'm too out of it to care, and so are my readers.

Laters ...

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Will the Scottish people listen to Justin Urquhart-Stewart?

Take a look at this, dear reader(s). Well, well, well ... / If the Scottish people are going to listen to anyone, it's going to be to a double-barrelled banker-type with red braces, ain't it? This is a stroke of genius! Where has Justin Urquhart-Stewart been hiding all this time? The Pro-Union Campaign or Better Together People or Tomorrow's People or whatever they're called certainly missed a trick not using him sooner.

...

On a more serious note, I'm pissing off down the pub today, down by the river with Oliver Cromwell's ghost. (Actually, I've already been. I wrote this earlier but couldn't post it because the mobile dongle twats were being twats again. And I'm talking about a different company this time. They're all as bad as each other. Twats!) So there will be no more posts today. I'll be back tomorrow. No. 250? Tomorrow! Be patient!

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

[No. 249] Who is Panos Theofilopoulos?

It's not Theofilopoulos Panos. I'm absolutely convinced it's not.

And / no surprises[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[1], and / no surprises[2], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[2], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[1], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[2], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[1], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[2], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[1], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[2], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[1], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[2], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[1], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[2], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[1], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[2], and for me the action is the juice[1], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[2], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[1], and for me the action is the juice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[1], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[2], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[2], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[1], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![2], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![1], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[2], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[1], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![2], and / no surprises[3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[2], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[3], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[3], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[3], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[3], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[3], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[3], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[3], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[3], and for me the action is the juice[3], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[3], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![3], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[3], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[3], and

And / no surprises[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[1], and / no surprises[2], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[2], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[1], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[2], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[1], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[2], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[1], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[2], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[1], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[2], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[1], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[2], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[1], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[2], and for me the action is the juice[1], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[2], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[1], and for me the action is the juice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[1], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[2], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[2], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[1], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![2], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![1], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[2], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[1], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![2], and / no surprises[3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[2], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[3], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[3], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[3], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[3], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[3], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[3], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[3], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[3], and for me the action is the juice[3], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[3], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![3], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[3], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[3], and

And / no surprises[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[1], and / no surprises[2], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[1], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[2], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[1], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[2], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[1], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[2], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[1], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[2], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[1], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[2], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[1], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[2], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[1], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[2], and for me the action is the juice[1], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[2], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[1], and for me the action is the juice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[1], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[2], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[2], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[1], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![2], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![1], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[2], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[1], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![2], and / no surprises[3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[2], and once again and forever ... a fund manager must get DIZZY[3], and Panos' time is now, and it's here / and ... this is bigger than any fund, man[3], and if I'm honest (with you, with myself) it doesn't really matter who Panos is / WHO IS ANYONE?[3], and he belongs to us / that's something we can agree on[3], and Mad One ... has gone(!), like, totally[3], and "they" say that both of them are fundamental stock pickers ... well, well, well[3], and YOU(!) ... learn something new every day / and I get better with every spin[3], and Mad Neil can run away to Australia if he wants to / all the action is a-ROUND here with our Panos, you dig?[3], and for me the action is the juice[3], and sometimes ... I like to DREAM(ha!) ... / How many of these fund managers have we known, really known?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do? Work?! / Not in this life ...[3], and dreams? WAKE UP! Not here ... ... ... !!![3], and I'm not interested in FANTASY, man! / and this is our REALITY, man! / Deal with it, yeah?[3], and it's Panos, today ... again, and again, and again ... forever![3], and I'm dreaming of tomorrow's victim[3], and