Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Merchants' Gate Capital is closing

Yes, another hedge fund has bitten the dust. This one, in America, New York, was founded by Jason Capello. (Co-founded by Gunner Winston, by the way.) / You have to be an insane optimist to launch a new hedge fund these days. What's gone wrong, man? 'I blame you, boss.' Why? 'Everyone knows you're into rock and roll now. You've turned your back on financial shamanism. But the industry needs you.' Well, Voice, it's about time they stood on their own two feet, ain't it? I can't wet nurse these people. And I've got to be selfish. I've got to think of myself for a change. I've given more than enough to finance - my soul, basically. And what have I got to show for it? Nothing! 'The love of financiers worldwide ain't nothing, Mikey.' You can't live on love, son.

Oh, look at this (from LinkedIn) - Merchants' Gate Capital seeks to generate long term returns through concentrated, high conviction investments in industries that are not susceptible to rapid or unpredictable change, including energy, industrials, transportation, consumer and business services. These industries allow us to satisfy the depth of our research requirements in a consistent and repeatable fashion, providing us with the checks and balances required to identify what we believe are the most compelling risk-adjusted investments. Our concentrated long positions are modelled over a multi-year time horizon and tend to be in high quality franchises led by strong management teams that can create value over time through secular industry growth and market share gain.

Not one mention of financial shamanism! 'That doesn't mean anything. You know how some of these hedgies are. They don't want investors thinking they're kooks. I bet Jason and Gunner were in the desert all the time, in the old days.' Yeah? Well, I never saw them.

Let's face it, the finance world doesn't need me any more. But consider the world of pop and rock! That's where I've got to be. 'Like Jim Morrison!' Yeah, Miami. You're all a bunch of fucking slaves!!! Shamanic dancing! Mayhem! ('Riot!' You're not Billy Idol, Voice. 'Where's the guy with the penis?' And you're not an outraged cop neither. 'I've been watching too many films!' We both have.) We should see the gates by morning!

...

Music? What do you think, dear reader(s)? The Doors, of course. Not to Touch the Earth.

I am the Lizard King. I can do anything!

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

[No. 279] This ain't Ruffer, it's choice

Warren Oates, you know? That film.

And  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[1], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[2], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[1], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![2], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[2], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[1], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[2], and I will be rich![1], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[2], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[1], and I will be rich![2], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[1], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[2], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[1], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[2], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[1], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[2], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[1], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[2], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![1], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[2], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[1], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![2], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[1], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[2], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[1], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[2], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[1], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[2], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[2], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[3], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[3], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[3], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[3], and I will be rich![3], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[3], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[3], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[3], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[3], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[3], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![3], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[3], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[3], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[3], and

And  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[1], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[2], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[1], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![2], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[2], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[1], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[2], and I will be rich![1], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[2], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[1], and I will be rich![2], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[1], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[2], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[1], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[2], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[1], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[2], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[1], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[2], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![1], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[2], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[1], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![2], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[1], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[2], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[1], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[2], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[1], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[2], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[2], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[3], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[3], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[3], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[3], and I will be rich![3], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[3], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[3], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[3], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[3], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[3], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![3], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[3], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[3], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[3], and

And  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[1], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[2], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![1], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[1], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![2], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[2], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[1], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[2], and I will be rich![1], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[2], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[1], and I will be rich![2], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[1], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[2], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[1], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[2], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[1], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[2], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[1], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[2], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![1], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[2], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[1], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![2], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[1], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[2], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[1], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[2], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[1], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[2], and  ... well, yes, here is Ruffer / oh, he's right here / open your third eye if you can't see[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[2], and you've got to open your mind if you can't believe[3], and money? / Let me tell you: a few spins and it's ... GONE![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, such a smooth ride ... / We are experts now, ain't we?[3], and this ... is a place of loveliness, man[3], and there's £18 million at stake, and we're going to get our hands on every penny ... / well, I am ...[3], and I will be rich![3], and we've got to SHAKE these people / make them understand we ain't messing around[3], and I'll become a pirate if I have to, aaargh Jim lad[3], and a-ROUND here ... you get to know what EVERYONE is made of, son (daughter)[3], and it's smooth, and it's choice, and it's so ooo beautiful / like some kind of paradise, like Malibu[3], and the sewer don't matter when you're moving towards the THREE[3], and you need some kind of paradise in your head ... to survive, yeah? You dig me? Yeah?![3], and ... that film, real hell ... but it has its charm[3], and ... oh, I'm sure you've seen it, man, the motorbikes, and the motorhome, and the crazies in red capes[3], and those devil worshippers, out in the open, some of them naked ... what's not to like?[3], and Ruffer? ... 'Where's he gone, boss?'[3], and

Who on earth is Jonathan Ruffer?!

Obviously, er ... we don't need to know who he is. But I'm just asking, for a laugh, like ... Who on earth is Jonathan Ruffer?!?! 'Jonathan Fluffer, boss? Never heard of him.' Ruffer. 'Eh?' It's Ruffer, Voice. 'What is?' That's his name. They call him Jonathan Ruffer. 'Oh. / Who is he, then?' It doesn't really matter, man. But, you know, just for a laugh, I can tell my dear reader(s) that Jon is the boss of Ruffer, a hedge fund in Mayfair - of all places. 'What a surprise! What's wrong with the White City estate?' And see if you can dig this, son: this year, he paid someone in his hedge fund £18 million. 'Ha! Let me guess, Mikey. He paid himself £18 million, yeah?' Probably, Voice. No one knows for sure though. I think it's supposed to be a secret. 'These people love their secrets, don't they?' Well, it's a secretive business.

I was reading in The Mirror yesterday that hedge fund pirates are going to donate £50 million to the Conservative Party soon, in time for the election next year. 'Pirates?' Yeah. However, who these pirates are, no one knows. That's a secret, too. 'Pirates, boss?!' Like Radio Caroline, I suppose, Voice. Not parrots and stuff. 'Out at sea?!' Maybe. Oh, I don't know how they work it.

Politics? Christ. Personally, I've given up worrying. (Well, I'm trying to ...) The world is one big sewer, man. The best you can do, dear reader(s), is find a comfortable spot in the sewer and hope that no one bothers you. / When I'm living in Malibu, a few years from now, I won't give a toss about anything. That's my dream. Cut off from reality. Living the dream, you dig? Really living it.

...

Lunch? I've got my favourite sandwich of all times, the £1 cheese and tomato one from Morrisons. Great taste, great value.

After lunch? 'No. 279!' Yeah, I'll be taking Jon for a spin. 'You should spin him so hard that the money falls out of his pockets!' I doubt he's got the £18 million in notes and coins, Voice.

Music? I was listening to Amy (again). What now? Er ... Nirvana, In Utero.

Sunday, 28 December 2014

Any financial news?

No? Oh good. I'm not in the mood, anyway. / Did you have a nice Christmas? ... Never mind. I didn't do much, myself. Just watched TV, and played the guitar a bit.

What's happening with the markets, eh? Are they up? Are they down? Have they crashed? Who gives a shit? Life goes on ...

I hope you didn't eat too many mince pies. I didn't have any, actually. However, I had a load of chocolates. Some Christmas cake. I've got four Kronenbourgs in the fridge that I haven't touched yet.

My dear reader(s), have you got any resolutions for the new year? Make more money?! Christ. Take a day off, man. / I have a vague idea about playing my guitar every spare moment. We'll see how that goes. I've got a good feeling, though, that 2015 will be the year I finally break away from blogging to become a ... full-blown rock and roll shaman! Yes, I know I say that every fucking year, but there's just been so much to master, man, you dig? Songs, guitar. Singing and playing at the same time. It's a nightmare. And world-class shit, of course. Not like when I was a kid. / This last week I reckon I've got to grips with bending to pitch. (That's when a guitarist bends a string/note to another note in the same scale. I used to think they bent the string anywhere they liked - well, some do, like Neil Young, who still can't bend properly after fifty years as a professional musician. What's his problem?!) Yeah, I'm making progress!

Music? I'm listening to Amy Winehouse, Back to Black. The last truly classic album, I'd say. 2006! Has pop music died?! No, no, no. Watch this space!

...

Anything else? Well ... I can't think of anything. I might go to the pub tomorrow. I'll probably do a full day's blogging on Tuesday. Let's hope there's some news!

One more thing: A fox as big as a dog ripped a bin liner full of rubbish to shreds outside my house the other night. I don't blame the fox. It's foxy nature, son. No, I blame the degenerate who dumped the rubbish there a whole week before the dustman is due. Scumbag!!!

Thursday, 18 December 2014

What's going on with Russia, man?!

Is Russia going to collapse into chaos? Is there going to be another worldwide financial crisis because of this rouble nonsense? Will there be a war? 'It'll be something to write about. It's an ill wind ...' This is all caused by politicians and their slaves in the media. No one in the elite is thinking of the average man and woman in the street. It will all end in tears, you mark my words.

And Putin? The problem with Putin is that he's not scared of America like everyone else is. David Cameron? Putin hardly notices Cameron. 'I doubt Putin even knows who Cameron is, boss.' Oh, are you still here, Voice? 'Yeah. / Is this RT? Where's Max?' Shut up, you idiot! I thought you were spending Christmas on the astral plane with your folks. 'Yeah, I am. I'm leaving tomorrow.' Okay. Well, give them my love, won't you? 'All right.' Are they still dead? 'Of course they are!' Well, that's the astral plane for you, I suppose.

Well, well ... er. / By the way, reader(s), I've only banned the astral plane for business/financial matters. 'Are you sure?' That's something I've never really been too clear about. You can still visit friends and relatives - if you have any there. 'As if!' They might, Voice. It's not all bankers and hedgies, you know. I get a lot of kooks. I mean, I get a lot of bankers and hedgies who are kooks, so ...

Stay away from the desert though, the astral desert. 'And the physical desert, Mikey.' That goes without saying, Voice.

...

Christmas! War is over - if you want it. Happy Christmas, Yoko. Happy Christmas, John.

I'm going to be taking a week off now, dear reader(s). I'll be back, er ... whenever. Watch this space. Or that space, over there. Or eat a mince pie. I don't care. It's your life. Just have a nice Christmas, yeah? Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Later(s), crocodile(s).

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Man Group buys Silvermine Capital now!

Even more AUM! These guys have gone AUM crazy! Just under $4 billion! I suppose it's easier than attracting new investors. I wonder how the investors feel, being bought like this. I bet it's that computer, buying everything in sight. The computer is out of control! It's 2001: A Space Odyssey all over again.

I'm hoping that the GLG shamans will step in and put a stop to it.

...

Anything else? Well ... / Er, not tonight, mate. It's been a long day. I'll write another post tomorrow, the last post before Christmas. What will I write about? Who knows?! That's the beauty of this blog.

Oh, I had a little go on my guitar earlier. I was on fire! / I've noticed I play better when I'm in a positive mood. When I'm depressed, my fingers go dead and get tangled up in the strings. But when I'm buzzing, my fingers start dancing over the strings like, er ... ballet dancers, man! Strange, eh?

I'm tired. I need some doughnuts and a mug of tea. Laters.

[No. 278] Baby, please come home

It's Christmas!

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

And ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[1], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![2], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[1], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[2], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[1], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[2], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![1], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[2], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![1], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![2], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[1], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![2], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![1], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[2], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[1], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![2], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[1], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[2], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[1], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[2], and a house is not a home![1], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[2], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![1], and a house is not a home![2], and ... I'm sick of it![1], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![1], and ... I'm sick of it![2], and ... BABY, PLEASE COME HOME!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![2], and lots of people a-ROUND, so DIZZY, everyone listening to the same song for all eternity[3], and YOU(!) should be here ... / 'If they're reading, boss, they are'[3], and pretty lights on the tree! / I'm watching them shine / Where are you, baby?[3], and it's a wall of words that goes on forever![3], and oh baby, baby, baby, come home, come home, yeah, come home ... NOW![3], and please, please, please ... please, please, please ... please, please, please[3], and this wall of craziness is so ooo addictive ... but I fear it makes us worse / we only want to get well![3], and when the music stops, we can fall down, down, down ... into the abyss / if it ever stops ...[3], and everyone is lonely here ... waiting for their baby to come back home[3], and silence might be the answer / 'We don't want no answer!'[3], and a house is not a home![3], and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND! / ... / and the SOUND![3], and ... I'm sick of it![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Darlene, please don't stop![3], and

Mark Connolly has joined Aviva Investors just in time for the Christmas party

Well, well ... / He's a bit late, actually. 'Boss, most firms have had their Christmas party.' Ah, things are a bit different at Aviva Investors, Voice. The Christmas party starts on the first of December and finishes around mid-January. 'Jesus!' Yeah. So, Mark Connolly is a bit late, but he'll still be able to get involved and have some fun. 'Four more weeks!' He won't have missed much, man. The Aviva Investors mob are just getting warmed up, I should imagine.

Life of Riley ... / Dear reader(s), you're probably wondering what job Mark is doing at Aviva Investors. ('Ha! You're having a laugh!') Really, you should know by now that no one does any "job" there. However, as you're interested - or seem to be interested - I can tell you Mark's title. He's the fixed income chief investment officer. 'I've heard he's replaced the office cat, who died.' That's just a rumour, Voice. 'What does Euan Munro say?' Er, let me have a look. Yeah, here it is: I am very pleased that Mark will be joining my executive team. He brings an invaluable combination of fixed income investment expertise and a successful track record of building cross-market teams which will be vital as we look to grow our fixed income capabilities. 'Brilliant! Their clients believe this stuff, man!' I know. It's hilarious, Voice. / Christ. It's those poor Schroders bastards I feel sorry for.

By the way, Mr Connolly used to work at Scottish Weirdos. And I mean WORK.

...

Anything else? Er, I can tell you, dear reader(s), I am in the mood for the Phil Spector Christmas album this morning. I've just finished listening to it, and now I've got the song Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) on repeat. Superb!

Music? My Music?! Well, I'll probably have a go (or two) at recording my songs over Christmas. I'm not going to overdo it though and neglect the mince pies and beer and TV and that. / My guitar? I've decided to stop using D'Addario strings on my acoustic and go back to Martin. / Electric? I was playing my Telecaster last night, rockin' in the free world. I wish I could play all the time, man.

Lunch? Cheese sandwich, crisps, Coke, and ... 'A yoghurt?' No. I'm shaking things up, son. A small blackcurrant cheesecake!

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

[No. 277] Fabien Baetz is other

Totally other.

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

And it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![1], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[2], and ... 'How many do we need?'[1], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[1], and ... 'How many do we need?'[2], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[2], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![1], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[2], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[1], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![2], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[1], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[2], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[1], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[2], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![1], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[2], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[1], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![2], and these words are ...[1], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[2], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[1], and these words are ...[2], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[1], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[2], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![1], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[2], and ... / I FEEL FINE[1], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![2], and it's DIZZY(!) time, our time[3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[2], and all the mystic kooks have got something to celebrate this Christmas: We've found another kook!!![3], and ... 'How many do we need?'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, out there or in here, it's all the same to us[3], and ... a man so ooo other, our Fabien[3], and seekers will look up at the night sky, these winter nights, and see a bright light ... the passion of a true adventurer![3], and ... a finance guy completely GONE[3], and that's the way he wants it, so that's the way he gets it / and COME ON(!) ... it's the way we like it, yeah?[3], and there is still hope for the believers ... /  Mystical capitalism is still the way ... in some strange hearts[3], and a-ROUND like the rings of Saturn![3], and I feel sorry for poor Laurent Constanty ... / It's not much fun being normal when your business partner is so other[3], and these words are ...[3], and ... / when the words start to mean ... NOTHING, the good times start to roll / ... / and that's the TRUTH(!!!)[3], and it's feelings we need, and feelings that we can share with the new kook ...[3], and out there (or in here) it all makes sense, all of it ... / We're not looking for answers at the end of no fucking rainbow![3], and ... / I FEEL FINE[3], and

Laurent Constanty and Fabien Baetz?

Yeah, yeah ... / Yeah, this is interesting. Very interesting. These two ex-UBS guys, they're starting a new hedge fund. 'This week?!' Not yet! Not yet! After Christmas, right? Let's get Christmas out of the way first. 'Oh, all right.' Jesus. Yeah, er ... Laurent and Fabien are calling it the Reaching Value and Opportunities fund. 'Nice.' They're starting off small with $20 million, but most of that is their own money. 'Not other people's money? Is that smart, boss?' How many times have I got to tell you, Voice? Be patient. They'll be getting their hands on other people's money sooner or later. They're actually hoping for $100 million, you know. 'Ha! If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.' Where's your Christmas spirit, man? 'I could be the Ghost of Christmas Past for all you know, Mikey. Or the Ghost of - ' Ghosts?! I shit 'em! Don't talk to me about ghosts, Voice. I've had more than my fair share. 'All right. Let's get back to the very interesting hedge fund.' Well, it's Fabien Baetz who is interesting. 'Oh.' Yeah. I mean, I don't care too much about Laurent. I've looked at his LinkedIn profile, and it's packed full of information and that, but ... 'There's nothing exciting about him, I suppose.' No. He's just the ordinary finance type. 'Shame.' However, Fabien is fascinating. 'Why?' His LinkedIn profile just says ... Other. 'Other?! Is that it?' Yeah. You know what that means, don't you? 'He's a bit ...' No! He's not a bit, Voice! Not that's there anything wrong with being a bit ... This is the twenty-first century, for Christ's sake! 'Yeah.' No, he's ... other, yeah? 'Oh, I get you!' Yeah. He's out there, man! Gone, in the cosmos. 'Gone, in his mind, too, Mikey.' Probably, Voice. Our Fabien is other-worldly!

...

So, after lunch I'm going to get straight to work on a conceptual, No. 277. 'You're going to take Fabien for a spin?' Fuckin' A, I am! Let's have some fun!

...

Music? Well, I haven't got anything on yet. I'm not in the mood for the Phil Spector Christmas album. Er ... maybe some Chopin. 'Yeah!' The real Chopin, you dig? 'Oh.' Not that Donna Summer muck. I don't want disco this early in the day.

Lunch? 'Lunch?' Lunch.

Monday, 15 December 2014

Clearfield Capital Management?

Oh! Oh! Oh! ... 'Eh?' / Exciting news, guys! Someone is launching a new hedge fund. (Clearfield Capital Management, it's called.) And that someone is ... wait for it ... drum roll ... wait for it ... Philip Hilal! 'Never heard of him, boss.' Don't be like that, Voice! I've never heard of Mr Hilal either. But it's Christmas, and I've got some financial news, and we should just be excited that people are still launching hedge funds, man. 'Fair enough.'

Our Phil used to work at Kingdon Capital Management. And for eight years! 'A true veteran!' Yeah. / The fund won't launch for a while yet. 'Oh no. Pie in the sky, eh?' Give him a chance, for Christ's sake! It takes time to get this sort of thing off the ground. / I can tell you, reader(s), that Phil has raised $200 million. (He's over in New York, by the way.) And Mark Kingdon has given him a bit of money. A few dollars. 'Who on earth is Mark Kingdon?!' The clue is in the name, Voice. 'Is it?' He's the founder of Kingdon Capital. 'He named it after himself?!' Yeah. Of course he did. 'The ego of these people!' Shut up, you idiot! It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

One extra detail (for those of you who get off on extra details): Phil's fund will employ a concentrated special-situations strategy. 'What's that, then?' Oh, I don't know. The readers will know. 'Your readers know so much shit, man.' They're experts, son.

...

Anything else? Well ... not really. It's only Monday. / God. I'm looking forward to having next week off. I need a rest. Er ...

One more thing: I bought a Jeff Beck DVD the other day. Filmed live at Ronnie Scott's. I'm thinking now that he may be the greatest living guitarist, rather than Eric Clapton (who appears in the DVD). Jeff has an advantage though, in the sense that he's a specialist. He doesn't do much but play guitar. Whereas Clapton plays guitar, sings, writes classic songs, and records albums that sell millions. (I've read that Cream sold thirty million albums in only two years.) / I have no desire to be as good as Jeff. It would take up too much of my life. However, being like Clapton would be amazing. 'You're dreaming, Mikey!' Give me five years, Voice. I'm the man with the plan.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Kenneth Hillen? Oh, it doesn't matter who he is

Well, well ... well. / I hope you understand now, dear reader(s). It's not rocket science, is it, eh? It doesn't matter who anyone is! It really doesn't. ('A massive breakthrough, boss!' Yeah.) / ... / However, for old times' sake, I can tell you a couple of things about our Kenny. He's just joined Montreux Capital Management. And, er ... he's going to be giving them some advice on corporate structure and ... other stuff, like, er, credit and that. 'Nice.' I don't know. / Where Kenny comes from though isn't too clear. 'Where do any of us come from?' I mean, where he used to work, Voice. ('Oh. I thought you were being philosophical.' No. I wasn't.) It's either Scotland at Bank of Ireland or ... Ireland at Bank of Scotland. 'Eh?' If that makes any sense. 'Well ...' Personally, I don't think it makes any sense at all. 'No.' But I won't be losing any sleep over it. This is the last post of the week, man. And I'm tired. So very tired. Roll on Christmas!

...

Not much else.

Is it just me, or are there more freaks about these days? Every time I look out of my window ... Like earlier. Some guy was hanging around the front garden and alleyway. I've seen him before, by another house further down the street. What motivates these people?

Well, well ... yeah. I'll see you next week, reader(s). Laters.

[No. 276] Could it be magic?

I'm pretty sure it is, man.

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

And it feels like ... summer?!?![1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[1], and it feels like ... summer?!?![2], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[1], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[2], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![1], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[2], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[1], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![2], and disco funerals are all the rage![1], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[2], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![1], and disco funerals are all the rage![2], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![1], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![2], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[1], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![2], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[2], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![1], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[1], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![2], and ... / Don't be shy![1], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[2], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[1], and ... / Don't be shy![2], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[1], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[2], and it feels like ... summer?!?![3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[2], and OH YEAH(!) ... it doesn't get more magic than this / every time I'm near YOU(!)[3], and Chopin is whirling like a cyclone in my mind[3], and they can keep their fucking weather bombs! / Oh, we don't need them![3], and when life is getting you down ... you can always come a-ROUND here and be my baby[3], and disco funerals are all the rage![3], and we are a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!) ... all upbeat with a strange melancholy![3], and ... / and repeat, and repeat, and repeat![3], and if you're so ... DIZZY(!!!) ... you can come, come into my arms / I won't mind[3], and spirits move me? / Well, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and ... Oh, baby, I've waited a long, long time ... / angel of my lifetime![3], and if you want to dance, we can dance forever here BECAUSE this is the magic place[3], and ... / Don't be shy![3], and I already know the wonder of all of you / I mean, I am a shaman, yeah?[3], and if you don't want a piece of this ... !!! ... !!! ... !!! / God, it's your funeral, man[3], and

Anthony Chiasson and Todd Newman are innocent!

Over in America ... / They were found guilty, you see, dear reader(s), of insider trading, a couple of years ago. They nearly went to prison! Well, they were out on bail. But now Tony and Todd are out for good! 'Why, Mikey?' I don't know, man. It's the legal system over there. 'Where?' America, Voice. Traders need to know that their insider tip comes from someone who knows it's a secret and who's getting paid for leaking it. 'Who's getting paid for it?' Precisely! 'Oh. / What did Tony and Todd know?' They didn't know anything! And that's the best way to be. 'Is it?!' Yeah, of course it is. I mean, when someone - a reader, maybe - sends me an email: Mikey, how big is the moon? I might reply Big enough or I don't know ... yeah? 'No, not really. That doesn't make any sense.' It doesn't need to make sense, son. It's always best to know nothing and be a little confused, you dig? 'Okay. Is that the secret of your success, then?' It certainly is. It's the people in this world who know things, the clear-headed ones, who are the losers. Knowing stuff makes you vulnerable, you get me? You can be attacked at any moment by the "dark forces" that want to bring you down. 'Terrifying, man!' There's great weakness in knowing, in certainty.

...

Music? I was listening to the Phil Spector Christmas album. I don't know what else to put on now. 'Chopin?' Yeah, all right. It will make a nice change.

Guitar? My rhythm playing has been getting better, man. Paying more attention to my fretting hand has paid off. I might not go to the pub tomorrow. I might stay in and try recording again. I've still got a cold though.

I miss the piano when I listen to Chopin. Years ago, I could play that funeral march. 'Which funeral march, Love To Love You Baby?' No. Could It Be Magic.

Lunch? Oh ... cheese sandwich, prawn cocktail crisps, strawberry yoghurt, and a can of Coke.

After lunch? Use your imagination!

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

[No. 275] We don't need to know who Tarek Saber is

That is the truth!

And our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[1], and the internet is a sewer![1], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[2], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![1], and the internet is a sewer![2], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![1], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![2], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![1], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![2], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[1], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![2], and ... a dream?[1], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[2], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[1], and ... a dream?[2], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[1], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[2], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![1], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[2], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[1], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![2], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[1], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[2], and I try to forget the devil[1], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[2], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[1], and I try to forget the devil[2], and I've made this for YOU(!)[1], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[2], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[1], and I've made this for YOU(!)[2], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[2], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[1], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[2], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![1], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[2], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[1], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![2], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[2], and the internet is a sewer![3], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![3], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![3], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![3], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[3], and ... a dream?[3], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[3], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[3], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![3], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[3], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[3], and I try to forget the devil[3], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[3], and I've made this for YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[3], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[3], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[3], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[3], and

And our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[1], and the internet is a sewer![1], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[2], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![1], and the internet is a sewer![2], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![1], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![2], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![1], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![2], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[1], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![2], and ... a dream?[1], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[2], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[1], and ... a dream?[2], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[1], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[2], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![1], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[2], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[1], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![2], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[1], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[2], and I try to forget the devil[1], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[2], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[1], and I try to forget the devil[2], and I've made this for YOU(!)[1], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[2], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[1], and I've made this for YOU(!)[2], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[2], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[1], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[2], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![1], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[2], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[1], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![2], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[2], and the internet is a sewer![3], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![3], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![3], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![3], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[3], and ... a dream?[3], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[3], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[3], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![3], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[3], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[3], and I try to forget the devil[3], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[3], and I've made this for YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[3], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[3], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[3], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[3], and

And our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[1], and the internet is a sewer![1], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[2], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![1], and the internet is a sewer![2], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![1], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![2], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![1], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![2], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[1], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![2], and ... a dream?[1], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[2], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[1], and ... a dream?[2], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[1], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[2], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![1], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[2], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[1], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![2], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[1], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[2], and I try to forget the devil[1], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[2], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[1], and I try to forget the devil[2], and I've made this for YOU(!)[1], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[2], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[1], and I've made this for YOU(!)[2], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[2], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[1], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[2], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![1], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[2], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[1], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![2], and our Tarek? No, no, no! / Oh, he can't be a-ROUND here / I refuse to believe ...[3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[2], and the internet is a sewer![3], and a great weight has been lifted, and I can breathe again / These people aren't real, man![3], and I don't care how many connections Tarek has![3], and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!), and a-ROUND(!) ... it's all for us, kooks of the cosmos![3], and the banks don't exist / and the hedge funds don't exist[3], and ... a dream?[3], and one day, we'll laugh about ... this / and one day, in Malibu, it will all seem like a nightmare for me, just for me[3], and there can't be an ING ... whatever, can there?[3], and it's a dirty trick - the reality of the world / Oh, there's something better ... beyond the THREE, children![3], and YOU(!) ... can believe in me[3], and the devil makes the news ... / really makes it[3], and I try to forget the devil[3], and a-ROUND here  ... so DIZZY(!) ... now, without a goddamn care in the cold, cold world[3], and I've made this for YOU(!)[3], and a-ROUND here ... so intimate[3], and ... / There's a light shining, there's a light shining, I swear there is a light shining ...[3], and I feel ... just the words, "Tarek Saber"[3], and ... / ... / ... / no meaning![3], and ... / Will the sense of freedom last? / 'Oh, maybe as long as this lasts, boss'[3], and

Who on earth is Tarek Saber?!

I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I promised you "news", dear reader(s). Well, here's a mystery, man. Tarek Saber! / They reckon he was at Avoca Convertible Bond Partners LLP as a chief executive and founder ... or something. 'Ha! He's been at loads of places, this Tarek, boss. No one has ever seen him though.' That's what I’m worried about, Voice! I mean, there's a picture on a LinkedIn profile, a man with sunglasses and a beard. But it's not our Tarek, if we can call him our Tarek. We can't trust LinkedIn. 'Too many internet degenerates.' Yeah. And they're saying he has more than five hundred connections. 'Ha!' Oh, the latest? 'Lay it on us, baby.' Tarek is head of convertible bond strategies at ING Asset Management. 'Oh God. Are we supposed to believe that?!' I don't believe anything I read online, son. Actually, I don't believe anything ... anywhere. 'Very wise.' / There was a programme on TV last night about quantum mechanics. Apparently, there is no reality. No fucking reality at all! 'But that's a good thing, surely.' Why? 'It ties in with your conceptual shit, Mikey. When we're a-ROUND and DIZZY in one of your posts ... nothing exists, man. You destroy words. You destroy meaning.' Well, yeah. 'And that's why you've got to take Tarek Saber for a spin after lunch.' To get him out of my system! 'Exactly! You'll be doing us all a favour, all the mystic kooks. The whole point of your blog is to record what is going on in the world of finance, or at least what seems to be going on, and then ... destroy it so it can't damage us. We want to get clean, and pure, and free, don't we? Maybe even more than THREE.' Salvation! 'And you're showing us the way, Mikey.' Wow! Thanks for that, Voice.

...

This is why I need the Voice, reader(s). Sure, he can be very annoying at times, but he gives me a different point of view, helps me get things clear in my head, you dig?

Lunch? Forget my lunch! Think about No. 275!

...

Ah, one more thing: I saw another picture earlier, on a website. A picture of a journalist. 'So?' A journalist with a bow tie. 'Oh dear.' When I see a journalist wearing a bow tie I immediately lose interest in anything they've written. Why? Because it's bound to be utter shite. They're sending out a message with their bow tie: I'm a ponce. I'm clueless. There's nothing to read here. Move on.

Only crooners look good in bow ties. And then only with the full dinner suit, yeah? You understand? (And Tinker in Lovejoy. He looks good.)

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Man Group has bought some fund of hedge fund funds of fund thing

'Eh?' I don't know, Voice. Hedge fund of hedge funds fund. 'I think you mean the Merrill Lynch Alternative Investments' funds of hedge funds.' Whatever. But Man Group has bought it. More lovely AUM. It beats working for a living. You don't need to get investors interested in your stuff if you can just buy them.

Well, well ... I've got a bad feeling there isn't going to be much news for the next few weeks. It always happens, every Christmas. People are always letting me down. I do my job. Why can't they do their jobs?

Oh, more on the sanctions. It's a disgrace. This is why we have food banks. Not because poor people can't fucking budget or cook. 'Poor people. There's a clue there, boss.' Yes, Voice. They don't have any money. Their money has been stopped. / And don't listen to the idiots who are trying to blame the poor. 'Useful idiots!' These people are demons. They're literally working for the devil. However, God will punish them. You mark my words.

...

Music? I'm listening to The Beatles. Various songs from various albums on my media player. The early ones, mainly.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow, I'm going to make a BIG EFFORT to find some decent news for you, dear reader(s). And on Thursday. 'Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Mikey!' Yes. / I have to say I'm looking forward to taking a week off at Christmas. I need a break, man.

Guitar? I'm playing lead real nice these days. 'It's just a shame you don't need lead guitar on your demo, boss.' No. Just rhythm. / I was watching a bit of the Nowhere Boy film last night. The Lennon character is making a demo at the end while keeping his eyes on his fretting hand. 'Like you said yesterday, man!' Yeah. Yesterday. 'All your troubles seemed so far away.' Shut up.

Lunch? Soup. 'Soup?! Soup?!?! SOUP?!?!?!?!' No. Cheese sandwich. Oh, I had you going.

Anything else? Er ... / The Christmas tree is up. It looks nice. I'm getting in the mood.

Come back tomorrow.

...

One more thing. (I'm like Columbo!) There was an awful version of Hallelujah on X Factor on Saturday night. 'That song has been done to death, man.' Why don't they do Dress Rehearsal Rag for a change? Or Avalanche.

I'm listening to Cohen now. If he had've continued with the quality, style, and grandeur of his first three albums for the rest of his career, he would have been the best ever. The Picasso of song! (Which is what he once called Dylan, by the way.)

Monday, 8 December 2014

Rathbones Coombs is worried about investment returns next year because of the election

Dear old Rathbones, eh? He's not worried about people starving in this country, which even the Church of England has started to think about now. 'It must be serious, Mikey! I suppose the church wants the government to stop sanctioning people's benefits for no good reason.' Well ... no, Voice. The church wants supermarkets to give all the shit, mouldy food no one wants to eat to hungry people to eat. 'Let them eat mouldy cake!' Ha! Something like that. 'Well, a mouldy cake is better than a fascist stomping on your face forever, boss.' Yes, Voice. We're making progress in this wonderful society of ours.

What a strange name though! Mr Rathbones Coombs! Where do they find these people? 'Eton?' Maybe. I don't know, man. / Anyway, our Rath says ... Who cares?! It's Monday morning! Christmas is only two weeks away. / Christ. What's all the fuss about? Financial types shouldn't worry about politics interfering with their business. All governments support the banks. Remember, dear reader(s), that politicians don't work for the people. They work for the banks and corporations. Conservative, Labour ... it doesn't really matter. So, our Rathbones and his friends will be all right.

...

Music? I'm listening to Lennon Legend: The Very Best of John Lennon because he died thirty-four years ago today. (I was obsessed with Lennon when I was a teenager. And he was to blame for my giving up my dream to be a computer programmer. Thank God!) Where does the time go?

I've got a bad cold (again.) I've still got to play my guitar. Nothing gets in the way of that. / I have an idea about my recordings. I reckon I should keep my eyes on my fretting hand the whole time. You wouldn't do that in a concert, obviously, but no one knows or cares what you're doing when you're just recording. It's not an ideal or long-term solution, but I need to get my songs recorded, man, you dig? I can worry about playing properly later on. Besides, it's unlikely I'm going to try promoting myself as a potential recording artist. Being a songwriter will be enough for starters, and then later ... if anyone wants to talk me into a recording deal, they can. 'Good plan, Mikey!' Yeah. / If five years from now I'm established as a great songwriter and playing the guitar like Clapton, the world will be my lobster.

Thursday, 4 December 2014

More austerity?

The Conservatives are going to cut EVERYTHING if they get in again next year. God knows why they're called conservatives. Does anyone know what they conserve? 'They conserve their own positions, Mikey, and the positions of their friends.' Yes. That's it. And that's all. / 'What will Labour do?' I don't know. They need to forget their careers. Think of the people. But I don't trust anyone, man. Well, no politician.

...

Millions of new jobs. No wages. New jobs for new slaves!

Soon ... No protection. No security. / Anyone can lose their money, get sick ... / Demons with no empathy.

Oh, my only consolation is that when everything collapses, when the West collapses, there will be no place for the criminals to hide.

'Before it collapses though ...' Fascism, Voice. Police states. Oppression. The full George Orwell experience. Coming to a country near you, dear reader(s). Sleep tight!

And then ... Thunderdome, and beyond!

...

There's one thing we can do. 'Tell us!' Go to the pub! Run to the pub! 'What?!' Forget work, man. Forget your responsibilities. Forget your bills. Just get drunk. Be like me. Be like the Aviva Investors mob. Let it go. Let it all go! What did W.B. Yeats say?

All things fall and are built again
And those that build them again are gay.


Well, well ...