Thursday 30 July 2015

Centrica is cutting 6,000 jobs

Yeah, the owner of British Gas, which has recently doubled its profits. 'Unbelievable!' Well, that's capitalism for you, Voice. One day you're a proud member of a "hard-working family", the next day you're a "shirker".

Maybe Jeremy Corbyn will change things. Not globally, obviously. However, he might be able to put up a fight in this country. He seems to be tougher than Ed Miliband. The media attacks him and he just shrugs his shoulders. 'That's what firm beliefs and a sense of morality do for you, boss.' Too right!

Ha! What do I believe in, dear reader(s)? 'Tell them!' Oh, I believe in the blues, man. I've got my two guitars, acoustic and electric. And I've got three chords and the truth. What else do I need?

...

Well, well ... / My "soft launch" of my "fresh start" is almost over. I think soft launches are a mistake though, don't you? If you don't fully commit from the very beginning ... you know what I mean? / Hopefully, the hard(?) launch will go okay on Sunday. It's all psychological. I've got to cut myself off from other possibilities, and activities, you dig? 'Easier said than done, Mikey.' Tell me about it, Voice! 'Okay ...' No, don't.

Later(s), crocodile(s).

[No. 336] Aaron Garvey is a-ROUND

He should be sorting out his LinkedIn profile.

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

And it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![1], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[2], and it's addictive, ain't it?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![2], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[1], and it's addictive, ain't it?[2], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[1], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[2], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[1], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[2], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[1], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[2], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[1], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[2], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![1], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[2], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![1], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[1], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![2], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[2], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![1], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![2], and don't get upset, please![1], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![2], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![1], and don't get upset, please![2], and it's nice to see him, our Aaron / and oh(!) it's nice to see YOU(!), our Aaron, man[3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Some things never change![3], and it's addictive, ain't it?[3], and getting DIZZY(!) is so very nice / but haven't you got other things to do, mate?[3], and Davy Capital is all in the past ...[3], and we all know how exciting a new job can be / but take care of internet business first, eh?[3], and, you see, Aaron, I need accurate information!!! / It ain't a game to me, son[3], and ... 'Come on, boss! Everything is a game to you!'[3], and big invisible nose?! KEEP IT OUT!!![3], and what I do with the "facts" of your life is my concern ... / oh, I twist, I mess, I get real crazy![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Could you get used to this - ?[3], and senior macro trader? WELL DONE!!![3], and YOU(!) ... want to seem professional, don't you? / It will only take you five minutes, for Christ's sake![3], and don't get upset, please![3], and this ... is the price YOU(!) pay for a financial career ... / I'm after everyone![3], and

Aaron Garvey needs to update his LinkedIn profile!

Oh, I can't believe this! / Aaron, you ain't at Davy Capital no more, son! Get a grip! [These people ...] 'What's the problem, boss?' Uh, this Aaron Garvey character, man. He's got a new job at Marinus Capital Advisors, you dig? 'Oh, right.' As a senior macro trader. He was a macro portfolio manager before, and now - 'And now he's a senior macro trader.' Yes. 'Well, it's no big deal, boss. I suppose Mr Garvey is busy at the moment.' Busy? Busy doing what?! 'Er ... getting ready. We don't even know if he's started at Marinus yet. He might need a new suit, for one thing.' [A new suit. He should have new suits coming out of his ears. He's a trader! Not a bum on the street.] Okay, Voice, we'll give him a bit more time. But if his LinkedIn profile isn't updated by Monday I'm going to have a word with him. A few words, probably. 'Ha! Why do you care?' It just drives me crazy, man, you know, inaccurate information on the internet. I hate that shit! 'What does Bloomberg say?' Oh, you're having a laugh, ain't ya? I'm not going to those Bloomberg wankers! 'Of course not. This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.' Shut up! I'm not in the mood.

...

'Er ... lunch, Mikey?' Not yet! / By the way, dear reader(s), Marinus Capital Advisors LLC, founded in 2010, over in America somewhere, is an asset management firm that seeks to deliver to its limited partners superior risk adjusted returns with low correlations to the broader equity and fixed income markets. And the firm manages $440 million in assets, roughly. / And Davy Capital? I don't know nothing about Davy Capital. Sorry. If you're so interested, Google it, yeah?

...

'Lunch?' Okay! Luxury egg sandwich, McCoy's crisps ... cheese and onion flavour (obviously, with the egg, can't have salt and vinegar), and a strawberry yoghurt, and a can of Coke(!!!). / 'Coke.' Yes, I know. I'm going to cut down on the Coke, man. I don't want to end up like Warren Buffett, do I? A billionaire!

'Music?' Music? I was watching Eric Clapton on YouTube last night, playing Sunshine of Your Love in concert, with bar chords, single notes, double-stops. No problem at all! Very smooth. / I had a go on my Telecaster afterwards. I almost got it, almost. Jumbled fingers! But some guys - like Noel Gallagher or the late, great Kurt Cobain - wouldn't even try. / One day at a time, eh?

Wednesday 29 July 2015

[No. 335] "I now command my subconscious mind to direct me to get DIZZY(!) like a deranged shaman"

Incantation! Believe!

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

And this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[1], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[2], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![1], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[2], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[1], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![2], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[1], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[2], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![1], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[2], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[1], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![2], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![1], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[2], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![1], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![2], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[1], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![1], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[2], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![2], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[1], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[2], and why do they call me the cactus man?[1], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[2], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[1], and why do they call me the cactus man?[2], and ... WAKE UP!!![1], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[2], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[1], and ... WAKE UP!!![2], and I am here[1], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[2], and this ... is for YOU(!), if you don't believe ... / I already have the DIZZY(!) life all a-ROUND me, yeah?[3], and I am here[2], and ... inside, too (oh, goes without saying)[3], and jump up and down, and, baby, you better get all a-ROUND / You've got to change your state![3], and repeat after me: "I am going to destroy the SQUARE world!!! They've all got it coming!!!"[3], and I'm up in the sky with YOU(!) / and you're flying high with ME(!)[3], and ... MAKE YOUR MOVE!!![3], and we don't always try hard enough, oh, we seem to get stuck in the sickening jam of a disgusting life ...[3], and ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!!![3], and 'Er ... boss' / and, Voice, this has got nothing to do with you, so keep your big invisible nose out, please![3], and 'Er ... big invisible nose?! WTF?!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and it never gets old, man![3], and you were in a right state, weren't you, when I found you in that gutter?[3], and I am the one who makes changes in people / and I will help YOU(!) destroy your beliefs[3], and why do they call me the cactus man?[3], and ... / ... / ... / Well, well ... eh? I get so confused, myself, but we all do ...[3], and ... WAKE UP!!![3], and ha! / ah, I've lived in the DESERT, and I've lived in the CITY, but this ... is HOME[3], and I am here[3], and

Dreihaus Capital Management and VAM Funds!!!

Right, where to start? Another goddamn merger! 'Another goddamn merger?!' You heard me, Voice. Well, they're launching a global long/short equity fund together, anyway. Dreihaus Capital in Chicago, USA, and VAM Funds in, er, Luxembourg - ?!?! 'Christ, boss! How on earth did they ever meet? Chicago is a long way from Luxembourg!' Yeah, I know. Sweet home Chicago in the land of California. 'Eh?' Robert Johnson, man. Don't worry about it. [Great guitarist, singer/songwriter, dear reader(s). Didn't know shit about geography, unfortunately. 'It didn't hold him back, Mikey.' No. 'Oh, I like it in here.' Shut up!] Well, er ...

Driehaus Capital Management!!! ... is a privately-held investment management firm based in Chicago, Illinois. Founded in 1982, the firm manages global, emerging markets, U.S. growth equity and alternative investment strategies. The firm has a diverse institutional client base comprised of corporate and public pensions, endowments, foundations, sub-advisory, family offices, wealth managers and financial advisors, globally. Driehaus is a performance-oriented investment management boutique that emphasizes integrity, transparency, and the alignment of the firm's interests with its clients. One more thing, they all live together, the staff, in a big old house like something out of the Addams Family.

VAM Funds!!! ... is a specialist investment firm that uses its experience, expertise and flair [Flair?! I love these guys!] to access some of the industry’s most talented global fund managers on behalf of its clients. VAM's business has been built on a continuing pursuit of fund management excellence, combined with a first-class service to its clients.

So, there we have it. Two firms, one new fund. It's the way finance is going, reader(s). Firms are either working with each other to SURVIVE!!! or they're going the Aviva Investors, Cantab, Neptune route: Oh, the sun is shining! We ain't working for no fascist slave drivers today, man. Let's get out of here! The park, or the pub. Where's the Lego?

...

Okay, okay. That's enough. I'm still struggling, fighting negative moods, you dig? I'll go for a spin after lunch, No. 335. Maybe it will make me feel ... a bit better.

Music? I ain't got nothing on yet. / Guitar? I put some new strings on my FG730S the other day, but I'm scared of wearing them out now before I try to record my songs again. So ... I'm playing an old crappy acoustic. 'What about your Telecaster, Mikey?' I could play that, Voice. It means setting the amp up though, and it's noisy. 'You haven't had any complaints, have you?' No, the neighbours are noisy bastards themselves, always screaming in the street like sick fucking idiots. What's the matter with them?!

Tuesday 28 July 2015

Stephanie Flanders wants me to hold her tight

Well, all right, love, if you insist, but, please, get rid of that awful necklace, yeah? I've told you enough times, babe!

Oh, I'm really not in the best of moods this morning, dear reader(s), so let's keep finance out of it, yeah? I got the blues. / I was only joking about our Steph. Go and read the Fundweb article. She's saying we've all got to hold tight because there's going to be more volatility. 'Ha! Some things never change, boss.' Tell me about it!

Well, well ... / I got the blues, man. A blues book actually (with CD). There are two hundred or so riffs. You've got to learn them all, string them together, improvise a bit, add some of your own, and before you know where you are you're playing classic blues-rock like Eric Clapton and Angus Young. Easy!

My fresh start? I'm still at the "soft launch" stage, but from Sunday there's going to be twenty weeks till Christmas. That's when it gets hardcore. Believe!

I'm still doing the incantations. 'Yeah?' Yeah, big time. Well, really one incantation I've personalized from a Robbins one. It's going a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND in my head, 24/7, you dig? 'Oh no!' Hey, I'm not complaining, Voice. It's how you make progress.

'Er ... lunch?!' Lunch! Oh, I don't know. I'm barely awake. Give me a chance. I've got other problems, man. 'Egg? Luxury egg sandwich, Mikey?' Luxury egg sounds lovely, man. You buying? 'No.' Do one then!

Laters, reader(s). I'll be all right tomorrow.

Monday 27 July 2015

Ares Kayne Management?!

What?! Another merger?! What the hell is going on, man? Why is everyone merging? 'They're scared, boss. It's a cold world out there. Safety in numbers.' Safety in numbers? The ONE, and the TWO, and then the THREE. Oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND. Yes, I can relate to that. BUT(!) ... will we ever get beyond?

NOW(!) isn't the time, so ... let's focus on Ares Kayne Management. It doesn't exist yet. We'll have to wait until the end of the year. At the moment we have two separate firms, Ares Management and Kayne Anderson Capital Advisors.

THINGS ON OUR MIND: OPTIMIZING ALLOCATIONS AND RISK ADJUSTED RETURNS IN TODAY'S LOW INTEREST RATE ENVIRONMENT - GROWTH OF NON-BANK CORPORATE AND REAL ESTATE LENDING - OPTIMIZING CAPITAL STRUCTURE SOLUTIONS FOR BUSINESSES TO UNLOCK VALUE AND DRIVE GROWTH - GLOBAL REAL ESTATE EQUITY OPPORTUNITIES ... Christ!!! 'What's all that, boss?' Oh, Voice, you won't believe how difficult it was. 'What?' Catching those words, man, from the Ares Management website. They kept moving! 'Oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yeah?' Well, no. Maybe, sort of. Just ... a-LONG, and a-LONG, and a-LONG, you know? 'Bloody hell!' Yeah. It's my influence. But they could have asked me first. What a shock! 'What about the Kayne Anderson Capital Advisors website?' Er ... Niche focused. Alternative investing. Results driven. 'Not moving, then?' No, just sitting there on the screen. Comforting, in a way. 'Oh.' Yeah, it's pretty boring, after all the excitement with Ares.

Different cultures, I suppose. Will these two firms be able to get on together? / What do I care? It's Monday morning, dear reader(s)!

...

Music? I'm listening to two new (old) AC/DC albums, Highway to Hell and Powerage. / Highway is pretty disappointing with weak songs. Only two classics, the title track and Shot Down in Flames. However, Powerage is great! Might be their best album, although it doesn't have any "hits" on it, strangely. My favourite track is Up to My Neck in You. Awesome guitar playing!

Er ... guitar? My guitar? Well, I was rockin' in the free world yesterday with my Telecaster, standing up. (It's more difficult standing up, man.) I almost managed Sunshine of Your Love ... bar chords, single notes, double-stops. Oh, it ain't easy! / But improvising with single notes went like a dream. I might have another go later, after my sandwich ...

Laters.

Friday 24 July 2015

[No. 334] Richard Black is back!

It's like he never went away!

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

And our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![1], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[2], and spinning on the floor ...[1], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![1], and spinning on the floor ...[2], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![2], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[1], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[2], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![1], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[2], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[1], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![2], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![1], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[2], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[1], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![2], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[1], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[2], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[1], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[2], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![1], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[2], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[1], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![2], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[1], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[2], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![1], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[2], and our Richie is back in black ... / oh, here he is again / will he ever go away for good?[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![2], and he's back, yes, he's back, well, he's back, yes, he's back, er ... yes, Mr Black![3], and spinning on the floor ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... Nobody's gonna get him on another rap![3], and he's BACK IN BLACK(!)[3], and Legal & General Investment Management has certainly lost a rocker ... / 'Ah, never mind the bollocks, Mikey!'[3], and ELECTRIC RIFFS(!), please, oh, more please![3], and dressed up like a schoolboy? Well ...[3], and if YOU(!) ... feel blue, please remember ... GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU!!![3], and here he comes, just get out of his way ...[3], and I get so DIZZY(!) ... / THEY(!) ... could argue that I'm off my rocker, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again, and a-ROUND, again ... / We will never get old - ?[3], and ... / Rock and roll will never die!!![3], and I can't get rid of these fund managers / they live in my head / but, man, it's better than being dead[3], and I get so ... BLUE(!) just like a howling wolf or a blind lemon or something[3], and our Richie, our Richie? I salute him![3], and

Richard Black has left Legal & General Investment Management!

Well, well ... / Yes, fund manager Richard Black (£591 million UK equity income fund) is joining the AC/DC Rock or Bust tour. (I think they're playing in Poland this weekend.) Great news! 'What are you going on about, Mikey?' Voice, our Richard is back in black, man! He's been reading my blog, yeah? He knows rock and roll is where it's at. And he knows that finance is dead now. He's got loads of money, nine lives, cat's eyes, and he doesn't really need to work no more, so ... he's going to be a roadie, as a sort of hobby. I suppose he'll just be hanging out with the band, making the tea and stuff. 'Are you serious?!' Oh, don't take my word for it. Listen to Lance Phillips, head of active equity at LGIM, speaking RIGHT NOW(!) in my head, just like you: "We were hoping Richard would stay on for a while to ensure a seamless handover of responsibilities to Andrew Koch, interim manager of the fund. Unfortunately, Richie has to be in Warsaw for tomorrow night because he's going to roll to the guitar bite." You see? 'Fucking hell! It's true!' Of course it is!

Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! / Dear reader(s), this is going to happen more and more. 'Really! Believe him!' Believe me, please. I predict that a couple of years from now finance firms will struggle to find any managers at all for their funds. It's a change of culture. People are sick of working like dogs. Hundred-hour weeks?! Why?! Why would you do that? 'Madness!' GET OUT!!! GET OUT AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!

...

Anything else? Er ... I've got an egg sandwich, a luxury one. I'll be taking Mr Black for a spin later.

Politics?! Political news? Well, there is an endless stream of anti-Corbyn articles coming out of the Guardian at the moment. 'Jesus!' Oh, there is no democracy in Great Britain. If you don't vote the way you're told, if you don't choose the leaders you are told to choose ... oh man, big trouble, yeah? Big trouble! YOU ARE NOT FREE!

Thursday 23 July 2015

No finance! Going out! But guitar! And incantations!

Calm down, dear reader(s). There will be finance tomorrow, a couple of posts, but I'm going out today.

So, er ...

Music?! Guitar? I've been watching videos on YouTube of guitar wizards I've only vaguely heard of - guys like Eric Johnson and Steve Vai - who, er ... seem to be better than Jimi Hendrix, man! (From a technical point of view, anyway.) It's making me think that it might be a mug's game trying to become "the best". I might be better off just modelling myself on my two favourite guitarists, Eric Clapton and Angus Young. I can't compete with the wizards! / On a more positive note, my guitar playing has taken a massive leap up (or forward?) this week merely by using a Tony Robbins technique: those incantations I mentioned the other day. YES!!! If I get myself into a peak state before playing, I not only play better but I learn better as well. Thanks, Tony, mate!

Anything else? Politics? I've got to stop writing about politics, man, because I'm not some awful SQUARE(!!!), you dig? But ... I'll just say that I hope Jeremy Corbyn becomes leader of the Labour Party. Why? Well, I think it'll be nice if they oppose for a change. Yeah, I know I'm weird. A government and ... an opposition! Crazy!

Wednesday 22 July 2015

[No. 333] I'm loving all the threes today, man!

Today and any day, every day, really. This shit never stops!

And I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[1], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[2], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[2], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[1], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[2], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![1], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[2], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![1], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![2], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![1], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![2], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![1], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![2], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[1], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![2], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[1], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[2], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[1], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[2], and in another galaxy ...[1], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[2], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[1], and in another galaxy ...[2], and we can jump in and jump out ...[1], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[2], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[1], and we can jump in and jump out ...[2], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[1], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[2], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[1], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[2], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[2], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[3], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[3], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[3], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![3], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![3], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![3], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![3], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[3], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[3], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[3], and in another galaxy ...[3], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[3], and we can jump in and jump out ...[3], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[3], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[3], and

And I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[1], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[2], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[2], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[1], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[2], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![1], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[2], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![1], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![2], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![1], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![2], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![1], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![2], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[1], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![2], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[1], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[2], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[1], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[2], and in another galaxy ...[1], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[2], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[1], and in another galaxy ...[2], and we can jump in and jump out ...[1], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[2], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[1], and we can jump in and jump out ...[2], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[1], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[2], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[1], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[2], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[2], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[3], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[3], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[3], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![3], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![3], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![3], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![3], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[3], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[3], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[3], and in another galaxy ...[3], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[3], and we can jump in and jump out ...[3], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[3], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[3], and

And I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[1], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[2], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[1], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[2], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[1], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[2], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![1], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[2], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![1], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![2], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![1], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![2], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![1], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![2], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[1], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![2], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[1], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[2], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[1], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[2], and in another galaxy ...[1], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[2], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[1], and in another galaxy ...[2], and we can jump in and jump out ...[1], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[2], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[1], and we can jump in and jump out ...[2], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[1], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[2], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[1], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[2], and I get so sad, just being on the ONE, you dig?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[2], and, YES(!) ... a-ROUND here / here we are(!!!) ... / and a-ROUND, we keep going ... / and a-ROUND is what we need ...[3], and I never promised you a rose garden ...[3], and I have to tell YOU(!) the truth, man ... the TWO ain't all it's cracked up to be[3], and we, we ... we don't need no RAINBOW!!![3], and, well ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Let's pray that this ... shit just got real!!![3], and ... is there more? / Oh GOD!!![3], and will we ever, ever ... 666? / 666!!![3], and CHRIST!!! ... 999 is gonna be a serious fucking emergency, I can see it NOW(!!!)[3], and the future ain't here yet / No, it is over there ...[3], and the THREE - ? Oh, I always feel ... I can get beyond it, ha! / And am I dreaming an impossible dream?[3], and in another galaxy ...[3], and fools will wonder how far I'm planning on taking it all, not realizing I, ah, uh ...[3], and we can jump in and jump out ...[3], and there is a blackout for us, yes, if we're lucky, where we don't have desire any more ...[3], and pause, oh please, take a breath ... / One, two, three ... Are YOU(!) coming with me?[3], and ... close your eyes / Can you see me?[3], and

Apollo Global Management is working with Ivy Investment Management now!

Well, well ... eh? / 'Bloody hell! Another merger, boss?' Well, I don't know about merger, Voice, but they're definitely working together. They're launching two new liquid alternative funds. 'Liquid? What liquid?' Don't ask me! Beer? I'm not an expert, man. 'Ha! Your readers probably know all about it. There's no need to worry.' I never worry, son. Life's too short. My philosophy is, let the reader have any crap he or she wants, I'll give it to them, they're intelligent enough to make sense out of it. 'Nice.' It's worked so far.

Oh, I'm glad to tell YOU(!) ... dear reader(s), that Bloomberg has got its act together for once. See if you can dig this (regarding Apollo CEO Leon Black) ... This person is connected to 362 board members in 13 different organizations across 20 different industries. Pretty impressive, I think. 'Er ... it still doesn't make a great deal of sense, boss.' Uh, maybe not. BUT(!) ... it's better than This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries which is what Bloomberg has been saying lately about practically everyone else in the world of finance.

...

Music? I'm listening to John Coltrane this morning, A Love Supreme. Why? 'Yeah, why?' Because that cat is/was inspirational, man. I mean, he used to play his saxophone all day long, every day! And this isn't like some pop star nutjob saying Oh, I play my guitar all day long, man  ... when we all know that they're really hanging out with groupies or ... Christ, getting yet another tattoo done or something, you dig? NO! Coltrane played his saxophone all day long ... EVERY DAY!!! The man was dedicated. 'Big time!' You said it!

...

Er ... this is interesting, maybe. / Reader(s), one more thing, a blast from the past ...

1) Why didn't Apollo trust in Big Herb?
2) Why weren't the ghosts of the dead financiers involved from the very beginning?
3) Why hasn't Apollo burnt any money in the desert?
4) Why has Apollo hired Gary Stein as head of investor relations when he don't know shit about the new creed of mystical capitalism?
5) Apollo Creed. Wasn't he a character in a couple of the Rocky films?


Ah, those were the days! 'You're so sentimental, Mikey.' I know! /// ... / ... / ... /// Let's have some B.B. King! 'Live at The Regal - ?' "I gave you seven children, and now you want to give them back ..." 'Me?!' No, not you ... / Never mind!

Tuesday 21 July 2015

Jupiter Asset Management and Hargreaves Lansdown are in business together!

'What, Mikey?! A merger?' I don't know, man. Something crazy like that. Fundweb has all the details. 'But did you approve this, boss?' No, Voice. No one asked for my permission. I wasn't even told that it was happening. 'Shit! You're angry, aren't you? What are you going to do about it?' I haven't decided yet.

You see, the problem, dear reader(s), is that Jupiter is a firm packed to the rafters with financial shamans. And Hargreaves, as far as I know, doesn't have one financial shaman. Not one! 'Christ!' So the idea of their working together is a total nonsense, I'm afraid.

Richard Pavry at Jupiter says: "Our current administration service is no longer able to meet our clients' expectations." Ha! I mean ... 'Sounds a bit like Aviva Investors, boss. They've just shut down their Asia Pacific Property fund because it was too much like hard work.' Well, okay ... if Jupiter is winding up its business and spending more time in the pub or the park maybe it's something we should welcome. But forget about a merger!

I'll phone one of my mates at Jupiter later, see what's going on.  / Oh, anything else?

...

'Your fresh start!' My fresh start? 'Tell us!' Well, well, er ... it wasn't a perfect start yesterday, I have to say, BUT(!) ... let's just call it a soft launch, yeah? 'Soft launch?! You take the piss you do.' Oh, why's that? 'You're like all those hedgies who say they're going to launch a new fund and six months later haven't even got a name for the blasted thing.' Shut up! I have made a fresh start, a very good one. Man, I played my guitar for more than three hours, and I did some incantations, and - 'What?!' Incantations! 'Okay. Whatever.' It's not easy, Voice. / And one other thing I did, dear reader(s), is realistically assess my playing ability, and I reckon I'm closer to becoming a world-class guitarist than I previously thought. 'Really?' When I'm playing lead guitar I can move my fingers around the fretboard as speedily and as accurately as anyone. Clapton, Young, Prince, anyone! 'Nice!' But what I need to work on is (are?) my phrasing and timing. 'Oh.' Because at the moment my solos can sound like a jumble of notes. I've got to slow down a bit and play small phrases, four or five notes at a time. And using backing tracks to improve my timing would be a good thing, too. I'm definitely staying positive though. 'Great!' My massive action plan is to play every spare moment until Christmas (when I'm not blogging, sleeping, etc.) It's going to be tough. [It might be impossible.] But if I do it I'll be in the same league as someone like Clapton in five months, not eighteen - like I said recently. I need to get a move on, man, you dig? 'Of course you do!' I've been messing about for too long. / Now, where's my cheese sandwich?

Monday 20 July 2015

VMG Partners closes its third fund with only $500 million!

Oh, Jesus! Not another one! What a crazy world we're living in, dear reader(s), eh?! Why didn't VMG Partners want $1 billion for its third fund? Why settle for only $500 million? 'Some people have got no ambition, boss. If only they would read that Tony Robbins book you keep going on about, Awaken the Giant Within.' Voice, oh man, if they had've read that book, they wouldn't have stopped at $10 billion, even! I mean, the sky's the limit once you've conditioned yourself to have new goals and to be all you can be, you dig? 'I know.' And this is a Californian company we're talking about, son. San Francisco and Los Angeles! Why have they got such a negative attitude? I really can't understand it. 'Bizarre!' It's crazy!!!

Well, well ... / Er ... VMG Partners? Let me tell you, dear reader(s), VMG Partners is an investor in branded consumer products companies in the lower middle market. Since its inception in 2005, VMG has partnered closely with founders and management teams and provided financial resources and strategic guidance to drive growth and value creation. VMG's defined set of target industries includes food, beverage, wellness, pet and household products, personal care, and lifestyle brands. 'Brilliant!' Yeah, and there's more: VMG stands for ... Velocity Made Good. 'Er ... what the fuck does that mean, boss?' Well, I suppose Mickey Mauze and the rest of the gang felt that velocity, I mean, going fast, was bad, yeah? But, er ... they've made it a good thing. 'How? How have they done that?' Ha, you're asking the wrong person. That's something you're going to have to ask them, Voice. It could just be a load of bullshit, I don't know.

It doesn't matter, my dear reader(s). Live and let live, eh? We all have our problems. We shouldn't judge.

...

Music? I'm listening to The Beatles this morning, various tracks, and some McCartney from Wingspan like Maybe I'm Amazed - probably his best solo song.

My music? I'm making a fresh start today, believe it or not. I've been re-reading the Robbins book all weekend and I'm really motivated. Here's a good quote (which is apparently a paraphrase of Nietzsche): He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.

Well, I certainly have a strong enough "why" and my "how" is hardcore, man. So, let's see what happens ...

Thursday 16 July 2015

NO MORE FINANCE!!! ... (Until next week ... uh, Christ!)

Oh yeah, I'll be back next week, for my sins. Of course I will. I can't leave it alone - for reasons best known to ... SATAN!!! 'Satan, Mikey?!' No, only joking, Voice. Don't get upset.

Pub tomorrow? As long as I haven't got a migraine. Oh, down by the river, in the summer sun. A couple of Stellas and some chips. Or crisps. (The chips are triple-cooked, you know. They don't mess around.) I might even catch a glimpse of Oliver Cromwell's ghost.

I hope you have a nice weekend, reader(s). Are you working tomorrow? Not if you're one of the Aviva Investors mob. 'Ha!' You're probably in the pub already ...

I might try recording my songs on Sunday. Depends on the weather. I can't do it when it's hot. (The windows shut, no fan ... horrible!) / I'm still frustrated that I've had a classic pop song written and recorded for three years now, but nothing else to go with it. [I don't want to be a one-hit wonder ... like, er, who(m?)ever!] You're Lying and My Heart are hard to record though. Or maybe there's something wrong with me ...

At least I keep playing my guitar. You gotta keep playing, you dig? 'Oh, it's your guitar, Mikey. That's the problem.' FG730S?! I'm not blaming my tools, man.

Anyway, laters, yeah?

[No. 332] I'll have to be careful with this Stuart Edwards

You know, the Invesco guy? He's very emotional.

And a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[2], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[2], and it's all right, all right?[1], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![2], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[1], and it's all right, all right?[2], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[1], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[1], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[2], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[1], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[2], and would you like a cocktail?[1], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[2], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[1], and would you like a cocktail?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[1], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[2], and it takes some getting used to ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[2], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[1], and it takes some getting used to ...[2], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[1], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[2], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[1], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[2], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[3], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![3], and it's all right, all right?[3], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[3], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[3], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[3], and would you like a cocktail?[3], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[3], and it takes some getting used to ...[3], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[3], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[3], and

And a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[2], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[2], and it's all right, all right?[1], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![2], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[1], and it's all right, all right?[2], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[1], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[1], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[2], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[1], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[2], and would you like a cocktail?[1], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[2], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[1], and would you like a cocktail?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[1], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[2], and it takes some getting used to ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[2], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[1], and it takes some getting used to ...[2], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[1], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[2], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[1], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[2], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[3], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![3], and it's all right, all right?[3], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[3], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[3], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[3], and would you like a cocktail?[3], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[3], and it takes some getting used to ...[3], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[3], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[3], and

And a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[2], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![1], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[2], and it's all right, all right?[1], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![2], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[1], and it's all right, all right?[2], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[1], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[2], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[1], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[2], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[1], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[2], and would you like a cocktail?[1], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[2], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[1], and would you like a cocktail?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[1], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[2], and it takes some getting used to ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[2], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[1], and it takes some getting used to ...[2], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[1], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[2], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[1], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... You are welcome to get DIZZY(!)[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[2], and I can be emotional, myself / We all can ...[3], and changing the world takes time! / You gotta change your head first, man![3], and it's all right, all right?[3], and there is no rush, my friend / and there is no need to be "volatile", you dig?[3], and I've got a temper, myself / Yeah, we all have ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it takes forever / if you're lucky ...[3], and oh but Stu ... if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow[3], and would you like a cocktail?[3], and stick to your funds, man! / ... you don't wanna live in a world of pain with me and the kooks, surely?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You're not looking too good[3], and it takes some getting used to ...[3], and the mystic kooks and I were born DIZZY(!), man! / Oh, our souls aren't "normal", really[3], and ... YOU(!) won't find no rainbows[3], and I ain't got no money for people with minds that hate ... / Actually, I ain't got no money[3], and

Invesco's Stuart Edwards says we're going to have a volatile summer

Er ... well, the summer is almost over, son. 'I think he means the next six weeks, boss. Our Stuart is expecting some serious trouble soon. I mean, we already have riots in Greece, man.' Voice, we always have riots in Greece. What about over here? 'In England? Anything is possible. Our Mr Edwards probably has contacts.' Contacts?! No, he's just trying to scare everyone. / Listen, dear reader(s), I'm sure we won't have a volatile summer. Do you know why? Because I haven't given the order yet, and I'm not going to - not in the next six weeks. Now is not the right time, you dig?

So ... let's have no more talk of revolution. Our Stuart is just one of these hysterical hotheads, one of these anarchist troublemakers. / I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile. So much for contacts, Voice! The guy only has three! 'Oh dear.' Yes, oh dear. He's not exactly the most popular fund manager in the world. 'Maybe you can do something to help ...' Like what? 'Well, maybe you should get him all DIZZY(!), you know, after lunch.' Christ! I may do more harm than good. With his temperament? It's too risky, man. 'Oh, come on. Just give it a go.' I'll think about it, Voice.

Oh, by the way, for those of YOU(!) who get sexually aroused by all the boring details ... I can inform you that Stuart Edwards manages the Invesco Perpetual Global Bond and the Invesco Global Bond funds. He's been with Invesco since 2003 and has been a fund manager since 2010. He started his career as an economist at Standard and Poor's. And you might be glad to hear that he's not one of these awful Oxbridge pricks. He was educated at the University of Surrey and the University of London. A decent sort, really.

...

Anything else?

No!

Wednesday 15 July 2015

[No. 331] They don't get me!

I'm a-ROUND and practically GONE(!), baby! They'll never get me!

And I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[1], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![2], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[2], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[1], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[2], and I might roll on the floor ...[1], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[2], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[1], and I might roll on the floor ...[2], and He gave me a lot![1], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[2], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[1], and He gave me a lot![2], and I might come down to get them!!![1], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[2], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![1], and I might come down to get them!!![2], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[1], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![2], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[1], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[2], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[1], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[2], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[1], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[1], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[2], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[2], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![2], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[3], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[3], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[3], and I might roll on the floor ...[3], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[3], and He gave me a lot![3], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[3], and I might come down to get them!!![3], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![3], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[3], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[3], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[3], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![3], and

And I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[1], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![2], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[2], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[1], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[2], and I might roll on the floor ...[1], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[2], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[1], and I might roll on the floor ...[2], and He gave me a lot![1], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[2], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[1], and He gave me a lot![2], and I might come down to get them!!![1], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[2], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![1], and I might come down to get them!!![2], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[1], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![2], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[1], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[2], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[1], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[2], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[1], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[1], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[2], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[2], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![2], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[3], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[3], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[3], and I might roll on the floor ...[3], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[3], and He gave me a lot![3], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[3], and I might come down to get them!!![3], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![3], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[3], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[3], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[3], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![3], and

And I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[1], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![2], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[1], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[2], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[1], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[2], and I might roll on the floor ...[1], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[2], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[1], and I might roll on the floor ...[2], and He gave me a lot![1], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[2], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[1], and He gave me a lot![2], and I might come down to get them!!![1], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[2], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![1], and I might come down to get them!!![2], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[1], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![2], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[1], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[2], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[1], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[2], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[1], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[1], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[2], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[2], and I'll be here ... until the day I die, and even beyond![3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![2], and they can chase me, if they want ... for sick sport! / but I won't be found by evil scum[3], and I might call everyone out on strike - all the bankers, all the hedgies[3], and my life challenges the slaves and the stooges ... / Oh, look at me! I'm still DIZZY(!) after all these spins[3], and I might roll on the floor ...[3], and I keep running, spinning, in circles, trying to get rid of all the pain that God gave me[3], and He gave me a lot![3], and the gift of high consciousness is a punch in the gut ... / Man, I would like to be low down, so very low[3], and I might come down to get them!!![3], and I gotta tell YOU(!) everything ... but you won't fucking listen, won't fucking understand, will you?![3], and I gotta use words when I talk to YOU(!) / even though I hate words ...[3], and down, down, down ... in the dirt, I could destroy the things they love, and give them a taste of despair[3], and when the killer robots come ... well, I won't notice any difference / Do you know what I mean?[3], and will it end? / No, no, no ...[3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / What else is there to do?[3], and when the aliens come ... I will take them in my arms, and cry, and be very happy![3], and