Monday, 29 February 2016

The Collins Alternative Solutions fund has been shut ...

Yes, uh, yes ... Collins Capital, over in America, has shut its Collins Alternative Solutions fund. It was a mutual fund that offered hedge fund strategies to retail investors. 'Was it a fund of hedge hedges fund funds of fund, boss?' I wouldn't like to say, Voice. I'm not an expert on dreary finance, as you know. 'No.' Ask me one about the astral plane. 'Er ... okay. When we die, will we all meet again on the astral plane?' Ha! You're already dead, my friend. 'Oh. Ha! Yeah, maybe I've never been born!' He said, he said ... 'What?!' Never mind.

Collins Capital? More information?! Give me a moment ... / I may as well tell everyone - YOU(!) ... Collins Capital is based in Florida. [Over in America somewhere.] And for two decades, Collins Capital has specialized in managing diversified multi-manager, multi-strategy portfolios of hedge funds that target low correlation to the markets and to other alternative and traditional investments. 'Nice!' Yes, it is. I'm just hoping that they have other funds. 'Of course they do, boss! Don't be so negative.'

[No more information. Thank God! Is that it? 'Good night.' Good morning!]

Uh ... negative?! Me? Well, it is Monday morning. I reserve the right to be negative on a Monday morning, you dig? 'Oh dear.' Well, well ... I don't know. I just don't know. 'COME ON!!! MORE!!! PLEASE!!!' / Er ... I won't be writing all day, reader(s), kook(s), spinner(s). No big conceptuals or anything, BECAUSE(!) ... I received a couple of tunes yesterday, fragments, from the cosmos, which I'm hoping I can put together today and turn into a song. 'So you are going to be writing then? Music, man.' There's no rest for the wicked, Voice. / I only got four and a half hours sleep last night. 'Christ!' Psychologically, I just can't stand sleeping any more. I used to love it in the old days. 'Old days?' The golden years of my youth. One big holiday! Now it's just work, work, work ... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!

...

Anything else? No. / Well, the European Union? Oh, screw politics, man. Seriously! But have you seen the Tories who want out? Iain Duncan Smith, Chris Grayling, Priti Patel, Michael Gove. It's like the cast of a horror film. 'Priti Patel looks all right, Mikey.' Ha! Fenella Fielding looked all right, son!!!

Thursday, 25 February 2016

Janice Haddon's top tips on work-life balance

Yes, it's the Thursday afternoon PR email, back by popular demand. / There's a "work your proper hours" day going on tomorrow. 'What, boss?' Don't worry about it, Voice. I'll be in the pub, down by the river. No hours are my proper hours, man! 'Ha!'

Anyway, our Janice is mixed up with Morgan Redwood. 'Who?' It's a firm. 'A firm what?' Good question! / And Thrive in Life. 'What?' Shut up! Please! / These are Janice's tips -

1. Be fully present with the task/person at hand. Too much time thinking about other things is when thinking and decision making loses clarity and focus.

2. Develop communication and engagement skills. A lack of interest in people will cause relationship breakdown.


Oh, I don't give a shit about people. They always let you down. Always! Do it to them before they do it to you.

3. Write a 'to do list'. Holding it all in your head overloads the brain and depletes resources needed for clear thinking.

To do? Tomorrow? I wanna get loaded. I wanna have a good time.

4. Be organised and develop time management skills. Check emails at certain times. Dipping in and out of your inbox is distracting and increases work timescales.

5. Exercise. A brisk walk at lunchtime will raise endorphin levels, the body's natural happy hormones, and will help counter balance any stress chemicals.


Well, I stand up now when I play my guitar, so ...

6. Drink water and eat a healthy balanced diet. Caffeine and sugar provide an instant energy surge followed by a crash. Replace the chocolate bars and coffee with a handful of nuts and herbal or green tea. Everything in moderation is key!

Having a laugh, ain't ya? I live on chips, man.

7. Make time for family and friends, laughter and fun. Find hobbies and interests to help with switching off from the 'to do list'.

Yeah, right. Music is my life. However, I'll switch off from the bullshit of the world if you like. Permanently.

8. Rest and relaxation are essential for us to recharge. The body heals and regenerates when we sleep so make sure to get 7 to 8 hours in a night.

Jesus! I'm sorry, but I get five hours a night. I'm like Napoleon. I've got things to achieve. I ain't spending a third of my life in bed!

Well, well ... eh?

Chris Justice? Janus Capital?

Ha! Some people like to say there's no justice in this world, but they're wrong, man. Chris Justice is in this world, with us, not floating off in the cosmos like a mystical freak with no solid foundation to his life.

Yes, Mr Justice, our Chris, has just been made chief operating officer and head of Europe at Janus Capital. He was in Hong Kong, doing something else ... 'Was he that dog in the filing cabinet at police headquarters, boss?' No, Voice, he wasn't. 'Oh.' He was head of strategic initiatives. But he's going to be based in London now with his new position. 'Does he have a place to live yet?' I don't know. Probably not. 'Well, you can put him up for a few weeks, can't you? In one of the spare rooms, like.' Er ... the spare rooms have got leaky roofs, man. 'Both of them?!' Yeah. 'What about downstairs, the back room?' That's full of junk. 'Christ!' Yeah. So I can't help him. And I hardly think our Chris wants to wake up in the middle of night, drenched to the skin with spiders crawling in his hair. 'Fuck that, Mikey!' Exactly.

No, Chris will probably move into a hotel for a few weeks, until he can rent a flat, or maybe even buy. It all depends on how long he's planning to stay in London. I know these characters like to move around the globe. Flash gits.

Oh, Bill Gross is at Janus Capital, ain't he? Remember this, reader(s)? - If Bill wants to work at Janus Capital now, fine. No problem! There are a lot of shamans and mystics there, a lot of oddballs. Bill will fit right in with his global growth pies and inflatable dragons. I wish him the best of luck. / No? Never mind.

...

Anything else? I watched the Brit Awards last night. I won't say anything else. My doctor has warned me about my blood pressure.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

[No. 393] Maybe Jamil Baz is right

Not about me writing this blog for fucking ever! Christ! I mean about the financial crisis. Maybe it will never end. Crisis is the way!

And ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[1], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[2], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![2], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[1], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![2], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[1], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[2], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[1], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[2], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![1], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[2], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[1], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![2], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[1], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[2], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[1], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[1], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[2], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[2], and I prefer Malibu ...[1], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![2], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[2], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![3], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![3], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[3], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[3], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[3], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![3], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[3], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[3], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[3], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[3], and

And ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[1], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[2], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![2], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[1], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![2], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[1], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[2], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[1], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[2], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![1], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[2], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[1], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![2], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[1], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[2], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[1], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[1], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[2], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[2], and I prefer Malibu ...[1], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![2], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[2], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![3], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![3], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[3], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[3], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[3], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![3], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[3], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[3], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[3], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[3], and

And ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[1], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![1], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[2], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![2], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[1], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![2], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[1], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[2], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[1], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[2], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![1], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[2], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[1], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![2], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[1], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[2], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[1], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[1], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[2], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[2], and I prefer Malibu ...[1], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![2], and ... is he right - ? - ! - ? - ![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[2], and let's not get depressed, eh? / We still have a lot to live for, all of us[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with our Jamil / What else is there to do? / TELL ME![3], and, er, er, er, oh, oh, oh ... really, Jesus![3], and I've had a look at Newport Beach ... and it ain't HORRIBLE, and it's actually rather NICE[3], and California dreamin' - !!! / ... and I'm going for a SPIN on a winter's day ...[3], and Jamil ain't a bad lad, I suppose[3], and I'll tell YOU(!) straight: I ain't doing this for another sixteen years!!![3], and if Jamil is right, and if he believes he's right ... why doesn't he get the hell out? / LIFE IS TOO SHORT[3], and this is eternity ... RIGHT here, you dig? / so ...[3], and money, MONEY, money ... yeah, it's pretty depressing, I know / I'm dreaming of the cave ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with my Jamil / oh, you got a spare room, son?[3], and beyond the THREE there is no pain / We've got to believe that, kooks![3], and I prefer Malibu ...[3], and

Jamil Baz has joined PIMCO!!!

Well, well, well ... / So we have to deal with this "Jamil Baz" character again. I don't mind. Even if he has said terrible things about me in the past. 'What did he say, boss?' He said I'm going to be writing this blog for the next twenty years. 'When did he say that?' Er ... June, 2012. 'Four years ago.' Yes. 'Only another sixteen to go.' Shut up, Voice. Please.

Here's a bit of a post from June, 2012 - Jamil Baz must be out of his fucking mind if he thinks I'm going to be writing about this goddamn financial crisis for the next TWENTY YEARS! / When are we going to see the good times again? / Mr Baz is chief investment strategist at that Man Group/GLG Partners nonsense which was never going to work. You can't mix shamans with squares. Well, not on that scale. And Baz is a GLG guy but he ain't no financial shaman. I've never heard of him, so he can't be. / Well, he ain't at Man Group/GLG Partners no more. 'His LinkedIn profile says he is!' He's going to PIMCO! 'Is he there yet?' May. 'So he's still at Man/GLG then.' Leave me alone!

Dear reader(s), Jamil will be joining PIMCO in May as a managing director and head of client analytics. The good news is, he'll be based in Newport Beach, over in America somewhere, so he'll be out of my hair. 'It sounds personal, Mikey.' I don't want to see him, Voice! I'm still writing this fucking blog, ain't I?! And the crisis never goes away. The shit never goes away. We just go a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Will we ever escape?!

The guy just winds me up. Jamil Baz. For Christ's sake! Oh, he actually used to work at PIMCO before, you know. He's confused. He doesn't know what he wants out of life. 'Just forget about him, boss. You'll make yourself ill.' Ha! I'm already ill, son.

...

Music? YES!!! / Let me take my mind off Jamil - and finance - with music. I was listening to The Easybeats, earlier. Now I'm listening to my new song, It's Just a Joke, Man. / I think You're Lying is still my best song, but I want to write more like the latest one. 'I prefer the new one, Mikey. It has more of an edge.' Well, yeah, it's the sort of song I would want to do as a recording artist, you dig? The other songs are me thinking of others. 'Eh?!' Other people recording them! 'Oh. Right.' / Fuck it!

I'm pissed off, man. / I might go out today. I feel like spending some money. A DVD, maybe. I don't know. It's cold out though. I thought it was supposed to be summer. What the hell is going on with our weather? / Ah, laters ...

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Diversified Global Asset Management is being shut down

Christ! Being shut down by Carlyle Group. Yeah, Carlyle Group bought Diversified Global in 2014, but they don't want it no more, man. 'Why don’t they sell it, boss?' I don't know. Maybe it's too much like hard work. Perversity. Spite. I don't know. 'But what's happening to all the people who work at Diversified Global?!' The dole, I suppose. 'Oh, that's great, that is, eh? Why did Carlyle Group even bother?' Don't ask me, Voice! You expecting me to understand the hellish mentality of such people?!

Oh, from LinkedIn: Diversified Global Asset Management Corporation is an independent alternative investment manager and advisor based in Toronto, Canada. DGAM was founded in 2004 by George Main, Warren Wright, Graham Thouret and Jeff Lucassen and has over $5 billion in managed and advised assets. Our client base is 100% institutional which includes some of the largest and most sophisticated public and private pension funds, endowments and sovereign wealth funds from around the world.

No more! A challenging market environment, no doubt. Well, well ... everyone, every firm, will be challenged one day. And not by the market, but by the goddamn cosmos, reader(s), you dig? That's a scientific fact!!! 'Oh.' So I don't want to hear any stupid arguments about it. 'Okay.' I know this shit because I'm tuned in to the cosmos. It's all common sense, anyway.

Billions of years to go, and the human race will be left behind. Will the robots take over? No. I can't see them surviving either. Not for billions of years. 'It's depressing, Mikey.' Of course, there are other civilizations on other planets. 'Yes!' However, they won't help us. They can't. 'Oh.' What did W. B. Yeats say? 'Something about Faeryland?' Later on in his poetic career, Voice! 'Er ... All things fall and are built again, and those that build them again are gay.' Ha! That only works when you're thinking of thousands of years. It's no good for billions of years. 'Shit!' Never mind.

...

Never mind. / What have I got for lunch? 'Tell us!' I haven't been to the shop yet. I fancy making my own cheese rolls again, with cucumber or pickle. 'And Coke?' No Coke, man! Too much sugar. A yoghurt though. I'll be having a yoghurt.

Monday, 22 February 2016

[No. 392] And I wanna get loaded / And I wanna have a good time

Easy spinner!

And COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[1], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[2], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[1], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![2], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[2], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[1], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[2], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![1], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[2], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[1], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[1], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[2], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[2], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[1], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[2], and who you gonna call?[1], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[2], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[1], and who you gonna call?[2], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[1], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[2], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[1], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![1], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[2], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![2], and get a grip[1], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[2], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[1], and get a grip[2], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[1], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[2], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[2], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[3], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[3], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[3], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[3], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![3], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[3], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[3], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[3], and who you gonna call?[3], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[3], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[3], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![3], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[3], and get a grip[3], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[3], and

And COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[1], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[2], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[1], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![2], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[2], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[1], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[2], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![1], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[2], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[1], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[1], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[2], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[2], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[1], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[2], and who you gonna call?[1], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[2], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[1], and who you gonna call?[2], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[1], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[2], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[1], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![1], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[2], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![2], and get a grip[1], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[2], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[1], and get a grip[2], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[1], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[2], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[2], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[3], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[3], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[3], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[3], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![3], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[3], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[3], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[3], and who you gonna call?[3], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[3], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[3], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![3], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[3], and get a grip[3], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[3], and

And COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[1], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[2], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![1], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[1], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![2], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[2], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[1], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[2], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![1], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[2], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[1], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[1], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[2], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[2], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[1], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[2], and who you gonna call?[1], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[2], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[1], and who you gonna call?[2], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[1], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[2], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[1], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![1], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[2], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![2], and get a grip[1], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[2], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[1], and get a grip[2], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[1], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[2], and COME ON!!! ... deep down, all a-ROUND[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[2], and ... 'Mikey, just what is it that you want to do?' I wanna have a spinning party, you dig?[3], and ... baby, baby, baby, LET'S GO!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Like vampires, we will never get old[3], and I don't wanna lose your love ...[3], and the robot killers are after us with their soullessness and offers of easy slavery[3], and - but, but, but ... WE ARE THE EASY SPINNERS!!![3], and electric rhythm guitar, please! / ... a Gibson Les Paul, I should think[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / as mystic dreamers, we don't wanna wake up[3], and millions and billions of years are in the FUTURE(!) ...[3], and, uh, security, nice job, nice wife, nice kids - but one day the cosmos will come calling with its eternity ...[3], and who you gonna call?[3], and our time is ... here, now / here, now / here, now ... / please, kooky one(s), don't let life slip away[3], and wah, wah, wah ... I'm dancing, I mean, my spirit is dancing[3], and I am in the cosmos with ... NO FEAR[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... a big head of stars, it don't get better, man![3], and one moment, GONE(!) ... soon, I'll be off on another adventure, and you can have this[3], and get a grip[3], and we are so FREE, and one day ... we might be more than THREE / Oh, you've got to have a dream[3], and this ... is all I wanna do, for NOW(!)[3], and

The Goldman Sachs Hedge Fund VIP ETF

Oh, this is a good idea. 'What is?' Why don't more people do it? 'Do what?' Listen! The ETF thing. Basically, Goldman is going to be standing on the shoulders of giants by tracking the top picks of top hedge fund managers. 'Oh.' So there's no work involved. You just have to copy the best work of others. 'Ha!' If I've got that right ...

Er ... I've probably got it all wrong. 'Probably.' Never mind. I think it's right. I mean, I believe it's right, you dig? I'm going with my gut instinct on this one. 'Maybe you should read more about it, boss?' Read more about what, Voice? 'The fund, man. This new VIP fund.' Are you joking? There's no need, man. Very Important Positions. That's all we need to know. It's actually quite simple.

Obviously, a few other firms do, do, do, do, do ... this. 'Eh?' But why doesn't everyone do it? 'Because if everyone did it, boss, there would no one left to be ripped off. I mean, copied.' Yeah, I suppose.

...

Well, well ... / It's Monday morning again, and I have no desire to become a robot. So we should leave it there, all the wretched finance, okay? 'What are you going on about now?' That film on TV last night. The World's End with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. It's not a great film or anything, but it's very entertaining and has a good message. 'What's the message, boss?' The message? Well, it's similar to Erich Fromm's The Fear of Freedom. That people become robots when they're older. They lose the wildness and spontaneity of youth. 'Well, that's natural, Mikey.' Er ... it happens, Voice. It happens a lot. But it ain't fucking natural, son. / And that's why I'm going to stay rockin' in the free world. I don't give a shit! I'll never give in! 'Playing your guitar? Today?! Aren't you going to be writing a conceptual?' Yes, all right, I'll be spinnin' in the free world then. Whatever. Christ! Leave me alone, man!

Anything else? Oh, you want more? 'Some people are never satisfied.' I ain't got no more for you. / Laters ...

Thursday, 18 February 2016

Gervais Williams has raised £28 million for his Miton UK MicroCap Trust

Well done, son! / That's extra money, I think. This Miton UK MicroCap Trust thing already has a bit of money in it. I think. I don't know. It's not my area. What do I know? I'm on the mystical side of things. And so is Gervais, a bit.

Do you remember this, dear reader(s), concerning the astral desert? -

Wow! Amazing! I've dreamt of it a few times. I even saw that nutty elephant. (Ganesh?) Well, who else? (Yeah, he's a character all right. Once you get to know him though, you see he has a serious side as well. It's not all about touching people with the trunk.) He touched me, you know. With his trunk. (Well, it happens, Gervais. There's not much we can do about it.) I wasn't bothered though. I'm just saying. (Yeah, well.) Yes, it's certainly something to think about, the desert, Mike.

You don't remember? Never mind. That was me talking to Gervais Williams almost six years ago. (Six years! Christ! Where does the time go?) He was leaving Gartmore. He didn't want to sleep in those horrible bunk beds. 'Understandable, boss.' Yes, Voice.

Anyway, he's a managing director at Miton Group now, so all's well that ends well, eh? / Oh, this is something, er, interesting from his LinkedIn profile -

The future is small. In a financial world dominated by gigantism, the beauty of smallness hasn't had much of a look in. Yet beyond the credit boom, globalisation has been found wanting, with growth hard to find. Could it be that small mystical creatures are set to be the masters of the financial future? The masters of reality?

Well, okay. Something to do with fairies. 'Christ, boss! Our Gervais sounds like the man who dreamed of Faeryland.' No, Voice, that was W. B. Yeats.

...

Anything else? It's the end of another working week, I can tell you that. The weekend starts NOW!!!

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Source saw record demand for its Source Physical Gold P-ETC (SGLD) product last month!

Wow! Eh? / Yes, it's the Wednesday night PR email, back by popular demand.

SGLD was the most actively traded gold Exchange Traded Commodity (ETC) in Europe so far this year and saw the largest inflows of any European gold ETC, attracting $300 million of new assets in January. This compares to less than $250 million of inflows over the whole of 2015.

Er, ETC? WTF?! Is that the same as an ETF? I don't know.

Christopher Mellor at Source, said: "ETFs are a great barometer of market sentiment. Given the challenging start to 2016 and nervousness in the markets, there is clearly a renaissance in gold as a haven. We have seen record demand for our gold product, with investors attracted to its very low cost and high liquidity. Given the on-going concerns over the global economy, we expect demand to remain strong."

Oh, panic over. Our Chris knows. They're the same thing. Nice one, Chris. You've saved my bacon. 'You're a vegetarian, boss.' Shut up, Voice!

'Boss! Boss!' What?! 'Have a look at this shit, from Barclays -'

ETCs are also products that are listed and traded on a stock exchange, however unlike ETFs, which will generally track equity or fixed income indices, ETCs track commodities, such as metals, natural energy resources, agricultural produce or livestock. In some cases an ETC will try to directly track the performance of a given commodity, in other cases ETCs will track an index that is designed to measure the value of that commodity. The second index tracking type of ETC tends to occur in cases where there may be complications in tracking the value of the actual physical commodity itself.

Oh, I see. They're different. Chris is taking the piss, ain't he? I can just imagine: Mikey don't know or care what ETCs and ETFs are. So fuck him!

Lovely. Really lovely. It's nice to know who your friends are.

[No. 391] Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten are free!

Sort of. For now. / Not beyond the THREE, obviously. But you can't have everything. Maybe they wouldn't be able to handle EVERYTHING.

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

Unigestion has bought Nicholas Linnane, Chrysis Aristidou, and Faten Benali from Cube Capital

Just like that! Unigestion buys three people. And that's it! They think they can get away with it - in the year 2016!

Poor Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten! I hope they're going to be all right. 'With their new owners, like?' Yes, Voice. I suppose they've already been put to work on the global long/short equity and credit fund. 'What fund?' That's the fund they had at Cube Capital. Unigestion has bought the fucking fund as well! Oh, they don't mess around, this lot.

Maybe the guys will escape. One day someone will leave a door or window open. People get careless, you know? Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten will have to lull Unigestion into a false sense of security ... Yes, we love it here. Unigestion is a great firm. We want to stay forever. There is absolutely no need to chain us to the radiator. Do you want a sandwich from the shop? Or sandwiches for everyone? The other guys will have to help me carry them back. / 'Ha!' That's how it will go, man. Good luck to them!

...

Anything else? No. Well ... there's my lunch. Uh, cheese and pickle sandwich, which, er ... I can confirm I will be making myself. I'm not totally useless in the kitchen. / After lunch, I'll probably take the guys for a spin, No. 391. A taste of my freedom, as it were, or as it will be. But not beyond the THREE. Not today. 'Not any day.' Shut up!

Music? I'm listening to The Jesus and Mary Chain, Automatic. My head is in chaos this morning, for various reasons - and I want music that will make the chaos worse. 'Ha!' Let's dive in! There is no need to be afraid.

My music? I was going to try writing a new song today, but I'm going to blog instead - three posts! There must be something wrong with me. Never mind, eh?

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Who is Jamie Horvat?

Yes, who is Jamie Horvat? For the love of our saviour, who is he?! 'You mean James Horvat, Mikey. You're so informal with these characters, man, like they're your fucking friends or something.' [Jesus! What a moron!] Listen, Voice. Firstly, Mr Horvat calls himself Jamie, yeah? 'Oh.' Secondly, most of these characters are my friends. So you can shut your big mouth. 'Boss, I don't have a mouth. How many more times?! I'm just a disembodied voice.' Shut it!

[Christ! What a cretin!] Right, Jamie Horvat. Our Jamie is director of global equities at M&G Investments, and, er, a fund manager. Apparently, he likes metal. 'Another AC/DC fan?' AC/DC are hard rock, man. I wouldn't listen to them if they were metal. / Anyway, I'm sure Jamie does like AC/DC, but that's not the point. The point is, he has a position in metal at M&G. Probably invested in some groups, their records, or touring profits. 'Ha!' I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I don't know what the fuck is going on with this guy ...

I mean ... for example, I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile, as is my habit with such finance characters. Now, it seems Jamie went to McMaster University. That's what he claims. I'm thinking though ... it might be a made up university, you know? McMaster? Seriously? It's like some loser from a burger bar wanted to sound all dominant or something. I ain't buying it!

However, if our Jamie is happy, we shouldn't judge him. He threw his profile together in a rush. So what? He obviously doesn't care about square finance. Listening to music, being involved in music, is better than managing funds. And I doubt Jamie is really interested in making money. He has his "position" in metal merely to keep the bosses off his back at M&G. / Reader(s), if you work with Jamie, does he keep disappearing during the day? [Other voices ... for a minute or two.] Really? Oh dear. He probably has a guitar stashed in the broom cupboard. That's where you'll find him!

...

Anything else? Well ... / Guitar? I'm out in the open with my guitar, man! No need to hide. I'm rockin' in the free world - and without a care in the world.

Monday, 15 February 2016

[No. 390] This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries

Ha! This person. Me? You? Anyone? Is it no one? Are we all NO ONE - ? Is there something existential going on at Bloomberg? Hell is other websites!

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

Bryan White is leaving BlackRock

Ah, someone is always leaving somewhere, or joining ... / Yeah, leaving Blackrock's hedge fundy fund funds of fundy funds business, BlackRock Alternative Advisors - where he is one of the two heads, like a mythical monster, our Bryan. So? It's no big deal. Bryan wants to do something else with his life. He wants an exciting time. 'He wants to play bass in The Wurzels, boss?' Maybe, Voice, I don't know. You'll have to ask Bryan ...

Well, well ... / So ... Bryan. Bryan White. Mr Bryan White. Mr White. Who is he? What is he? How does he feel? / And ... Bloomberg? Can Bloomberg tell us anything about the man?

This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.

The useless bastards! 'Why do you bother with them, boss?!' Habit. I'm a glutton for punishment. Or there's a problem with my head.

Problem. Problem. Problem. / Christ! I'm stuck in the same routine, man, always going to Bloomberg for answers they won't supply, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... 'You should do a conceptual on them.' Oh, I might. Actually, I will. Today!

Oh, LinkedIn? I've looked. Our Bryan ain't giving much away on his profile. 'Have you signed in?' I can't, Voice. I'm not a member any more. Do I miss it? No ... is the short answer. If I want to connect with people, I'll do it in a soulful way on the astral plane. 'What if they don't want to connect with you, man?' I'll do it while they're sleeping. Turn their dreams into nightmares. No one can stop me having my fun.

...

Anything else? The Bafta crap was on TV last night. I didn't watch it because Tom Hardy wasn't nominated for anything, so I can't take it seriously, you dig? As far as I'm concerned, his two performances (combined) in Legend are the best thing since De Niro in Raging Bull. Hardy is the best actor around at the moment. He could become one of the all-time greats.

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Willis Towers Watson Launches LEAP!!!

Go on, leap!!!

No, don't get upset. It's just the Thursday afternoon PR email, back by popular demand.

Responding to new regulatory requirements for senior executives, Willis Towers Watson (NASDAQ: WLTW) the leading global advisory, broking and solutions company, has launched a new legal expenses solution to help protect executives from personal liability.

Cool! That's LEAP.

The Senior Managers and Certification Regime will come into force for UK banks and building societies on March 7, 2016. As a result all senior managers will acquire a range of additional personal duties and responsibilities including an overall "duty of responsibility" and therefore a greater personal risk of liability. In October 2015, the UK Government also announced its intention to extend the regime to all regulated entities.

The government again!

Francis Kean, Executive Director in Willis Towers Watson's financial and executive risks practice, said: "Conflicts of interest may not arise often but when they do it can be a serious matter. The question as to whether, when and on what terms companies will pay for board members to access separate legal advice is often shrouded in uncertainty. LEAP provides senior managers with the reassurance that this resource will always be available to them. What differentiates LEAP from traditional Directors &Officers (D&O) insurance is that it is triggered not by a claim or investigation but by the subjective assessment of the senior manager concerned of the need for separate advice."

Well, well ... / I don't have much to add, really. I'm sure some of you will find it useful, considering the lives you lead. I'm not judging anyone. I just think maybe you could ... I don't know, find something else to do. What do you think? 'Leave it, boss. They're happy.' Oh, you reckon? You never heard of unconscious despair? 'What?!' Kierkegaard, Voice. Read some fucking books! [I think my concept of it is a bit different though. It doesn't matter. Just forget about it.]

Ah, that's it. Laters.

The FCA has fined Achilles Macris £792,900

First question: Who on earth is Achilles Macris? 'That's an erotic name, that is, boss.' Eh? You mean "exotic", Voice. 'Oh yeah, exotic, sorry. It's an exotic name.' It certainly is, my little invisible friend.

Second question: Why has the FCA taken £792,900 off the poor man?

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has today fined Achilles Macris £792,900 for failing to be open and co-operative with the Authority. Mr Macris was Head of CIO International for JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. in London. In the role he was responsible for a number of portfolios, including the synthetic credit portfolio, at the time of what became known as the 'London Whale' trades.

Guys, you've got to be open and co-operative with AUTHORITY! Didn't they teach you anything in school?

Mr Macris was the main contact with the FCA's predecessor the Financial Services Authority (FSA) (FSA and FCA together the Authority) in relation to CIO International and as an approved person he was required to deal with the Authority in an open and cooperative way. Between 28 March 2012 and 29 April 2012 Mr Macris did not inform the Authority about concerns with the synthetic credit portfolio and as a result he failed to meet the standards expected of an approved person under Statement of Principle 4. More, than is healthy.

Well, fair enough, I suppose. Personally, I would have fined him a cool million just for that name of his.

...

Anything else? Not much at the moment. I'll be writing one more post later, but ... I haven't had many PR emails this week. So I don't know what I'm going to write about. / Oh, I got one email, inviting me to a conference in Edinburgh. Christ! Have a word with yourself, PR person, yeah? I ain't travelling all the way up there!

Music? I've finished rewriting the lyric of My Heart, and I'm pleased with it. Everyone can relax now. No more drama - for a while.

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

[No. 389] Westbrook Asset Management is a firm

Oh, hedge fund, not a film. Not an exciting new film. 'Ha!' Okay, okay, I was wrong. Big deal!

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

Jean-Louis Le Mee? Westbrook Asset Management?

Well, well ... / Right. Jean-Louis Le Mee is a film producer, and he's going to be working on a new film with star Will Smith. [I think they're making yet another film about the financial crisis. Jesus H. Christ! Do we need another one?] The film is going to be called Westbrook Asset Management. 'I think you might have that wrong, boss.' Oh yeah, Voice. How? 'Westbrook Asset Management is a new hedge fund. Jean-Louis Le Mee used to be a partner at BlueGold Capital. He's not a fucking film producer. And Will Smith is just some finance guy.' Ha! Bollocks, Voice! Where do you get your information? 'The internet.'

What a load of bollocks! You can't trust the internet. I'm sticking with my version. Will Smith was brilliant in Independence Day, and loads of other films. He ain't some boring portfolio manager from CQS. 'Where did you get that? I never said that.' You must have said it. I heard you. You said Will Smith used to be a portfolio manager at CQS - whatever that is. 'Oh dear. I think you're hearing other voices, boss. This is very disturbing.' Yeah, maybe I've got a new intern. You might be out of a job soon, my old son. 'Suits me!' Just go away, will you?

...

I'm in a bad mood this morning, a perverse mood. / My music is doing my head in, man. I'm going to have another go at My Heart, to see if I can get the lyric right. But not today! I think it's too cold to go out. If I stay in, I'll see if I can write a new tune on my guitar. I've got veggie burger takeaway to look forward to for me dinner. Lunch? Well, lunch first. I didn't buy a sandwich. I'm going to make my own bread rolls with cheese and cucumber. Maybe a can of Coke, but I'm trying to cut down on the sugar.