Thursday, 31 March 2016

Oh God! Who is Luke Taylor now?

I'm worn out with all these finance people, man. At least it's the end of the week. / Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Thursday night PR email, back by popular demand. Luke Taylor is some new associate at Turquoise International. 'Turquoise International, boss?' Yeah.

Turquoise International, the city-based merchant bank, founded by David Icke, specialising in crystal energy, environment and efficiency, has appointed Luke Taylor as an associate.

'Oh, I see.' I'm glad you see.

Cambridge University graduate Taylor, who has worked in finance since 2011, joins from Cosmicsource Crystal Energy, where he worked as part of the structured finance team on a number of mad projects, uh, financing deals as well as refinancing transactions. Before this, Taylor worked for Chaos in financial modelling and auditing models for a range of projects, including Public Private Partnerships.

'Oh, I see. Chaos magic, I presume.' Yeah.  / Yeah, it's all pretty standard mystical stuff. And David Icke will expect Luke Taylor to wear a turquoise tracksuit. 'Really?' It shouldn't be a problem, Voice. It's the uniform, anyway.

...

Ah, that's enough. I've done my good deed for the day. These PR firms couldn't survive without me. 'Ha!' Ha!

Anything else? No. Laters. Much laters. I mean, next week, yeah?

[No. 403] Is Joey Le Jehan ready for the DIZZY(!) life?

Is he for real?

And our Joey - ?[1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[1], and our Joey - ?[2], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[2], and kook after my own heart?[1], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![2], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[1], and kook after my own heart?[2], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[1], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[2], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[1], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[2], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![1], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[2], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[1], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![2], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[1], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[2], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[1], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[2], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[1], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![1], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[2], and ... nice one, son![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![2], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![1], and ... nice one, son![2], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![1], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![2], and no finance(?) after this ...[1], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![2], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[1], and no finance(?) after this ...[2], and our Joey - ?[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[2], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[3], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![3], and kook after my own heart?[3], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[3], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[3], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[3], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![3], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[3], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[3], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[3], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![3], and ... nice one, son![3], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![3], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![3], and no finance(?) after this ...[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[3], and

And our Joey - ?[1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[1], and our Joey - ?[2], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[2], and kook after my own heart?[1], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![2], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[1], and kook after my own heart?[2], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[1], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[2], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[1], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[2], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![1], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[2], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[1], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![2], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[1], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[2], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[1], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[2], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[1], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![1], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[2], and ... nice one, son![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![2], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![1], and ... nice one, son![2], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![1], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![2], and no finance(?) after this ...[1], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![2], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[1], and no finance(?) after this ...[2], and our Joey - ?[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[2], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[3], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![3], and kook after my own heart?[3], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[3], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[3], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[3], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![3], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[3], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[3], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[3], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![3], and ... nice one, son![3], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![3], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![3], and no finance(?) after this ...[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[3], and

And our Joey - ?[1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[1], and our Joey - ?[2], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![1], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[2], and kook after my own heart?[1], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![2], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[1], and kook after my own heart?[2], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[1], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[2], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[1], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[2], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![1], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[2], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[1], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![2], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[1], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[2], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[1], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[2], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[1], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![1], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[2], and ... nice one, son![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![2], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![1], and ... nice one, son![2], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![1], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![2], and no finance(?) after this ...[1], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![2], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[1], and no finance(?) after this ...[2], and our Joey - ?[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[2], and YOU(!) ... bring him here ... from magical astral plane or dull Schroders office[3], and forget about LinkedIn, man! / This ... is the test of a human being![3], and kook after my own heart?[3], and here he is!!! ... / uh, let me take a good look at Joey's soul, such as it is ...[3], and ... well, well / Can it take the strain?[3], and Joey ... can you get a-ROUND and lose your head while the squares are keeping theirs?[3], and HOLD ON TIGHT!!! / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND we go![3], and Joey ... how do you feel - ?[3], and I have known all kinds of souls, big and small, impressive and not so impressive[3], and DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) DIZZY(!) ... holding up well, well, where's the THREE?[3], and ha! ... we're not going beyond the THREE, my crazy dreamers / not today, this eternity[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's head-spinning, soul-shaking glory![3], and ... nice one, son![3], and ... YES(!) I'm impressed, Joey / oh, guys ... OUR JOEY'S NO SQUARE![3], and this kook is no thought-form! / and a thousand curses on LinkedIn!!![3], and no finance(?) after this ...[3], and NOW(!!!) ... Mr Le Jehan can go back to Schroders and tell them where to get off[3], and

Who on earth is Joe Le Jehan at Schroders?!

Well, well ... eh? / Christ! Who is he, this Joe? Joey Le Jehan. Schroders will tell us -

Joe Le Jehan is a member of the Multi-Manager Team at Schroders having joined from Cazenove Capital Management. He has previously worked at Brewin Dolphin. He graduated from the University of Durham with BA Hons Economics. Joey is a CFA Charterholder and a member of the CFA Society and brings 13 years' investment experience to the team.

But that's not good enough for me. I need to know more. 'Have a look at his LinkedIn profile, boss.' I couldn't find it, Voice. I don't think our Joey has a profile. 'What?! Then he doesn't exist, man!' Oh, that's a bit harsh, man.

But probably true. We have to consider the possibility, dear reader(s), that Joey Le Jehan isn't a person at all. Someone at Schroders might be having a laugh - at our expense. How does that make YOU(!) feel? It makes me feel angry.

'This Joey could be a thought-form, boss. Maybe the Schroders lunatics wanted him to exist so badly that the energy they put into their sick desire created the Joey Le Jehan thought-form on the astral plane. And I've never met a thought-form that had a LinkedIn profile, so ...' Yes, Voice, it would explain things.

Oh, Jesus H. Christ! It's a shame really because this "Joey Le Jehan" character has been talking about the markets showing us stuff that investors don't know. 'Really?' Yes, it's a shame if it's merely the mad bullshit of some thought-form. I mean, I've done pathworking before, many times. I've met these thought-forms, and they are serious bullshit merchants. You can't trust a word they say.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do, dear reader(s). After lunch, I'm going to take Joey, our Joey, for a spin in conceptual post No. 403. 'Is that wise, Mikey?' I want to see how he performs when he's all DIZZY(!), Voice. 'Okay.' Let's see what he's made of, you dig?

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Mark Mobius is starting to slow down

Nice one, son! / And I don't blame him. I mean, he's fed up managing the Templeton Emerging Markets Group. It's too much like hard work. The fact is, our Mark has been mixed up in finance for decades. I couldn't stand it for six months, myself. 'What, boss?! You've been writing this blog for over nine years now!' Yeah, yeah. This is different, Voice. Covering the news, taking the piss, writing about music a bit. 'Ha!' And I'm on the mystical side of things, anyway. It's not the same as going into an office, day-in, day-out, managing funds, managing staff, talking to clients - who are a massive pain in the arse, as we all know. Those bastards always want more money, more profit. 'Slags!' They should get jobs, Voice. Let's see some of these investors do a hard day's work for once. 'For a fair day's pay.' Exactly! But no! They expect their money to work for them. 'While they sit back and drink Martinis. I absolutely despise these scumbags, boss.' So do I, man. And I imagine Mr Mobius, our Mark, feels the same way now.

Well, from his LinkedIn profile ...

Dr. Mobius has spent more than 40 years working in global emerging markets and has received numerous industry awards. He was named one of Bloomberg Markets Magazine's "50 Most Influential People" in 2011, AsiaMoney Magazine's "Top 100 Most Powerful and Influential People" in 2006, "Emerging Markets Equity Manager of the Year 2001" by International Money Marketing, "Ten Top Money Managers of the 20th Century" in a 1999 Carson Group survey, "Number One Global Emerging Market Fund" in a 1998 Reuters Survey, "1994 First in Business Money Manager of the Year" by CNBC, "Closed-End Fund Manager of the Year" in 1993 by Morningstar, and "Investment Trust Manager of the Year 1992" by the Sunday Telegraph.

Obviously, a very popular and celebrated guy. 'One of your friends, ain't he?' Sort of. 'You had a chat with him. It's in your archive.' Ha! / Well, well ... I didn't know he was a doctor, reader(s), you know? I've been worried about my blood pressure lately. I don't want to bother him with it though. Never mind. I'm sure it's nothing. I'm just a bit stressed out, that's all. I need a holiday.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to The Band. Acadian Driftwood is a nice song. So is It Makes No Difference. I bought Easy Rider on DVD recently. That film features The Weight. / My music? I'm not writing about my music any more. 'Oh.' I can't be bothered, man. However, I still don't have any lyrical ideas for my new song. It's a bit frustrating, considering it's my best piece of music. We all have troubles in life, don't we? I don't want to talk about it.

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

[No. 402] Death to poetry!

We've moved on!

And revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[1], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[2], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[1], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[2], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[2], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[1], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[2], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[1], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[2], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[1], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[2], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[1], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[2], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[1], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[2], and ... I can't stop![1], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![1], and ... I can't stop![2], and Rimbaud would understand ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![2], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[1], and Rimbaud would understand ...[2], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![1], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[2], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[1], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![2], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[1], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[2], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[1], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![1], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[2], and I have my songs, so ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![2], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[1], and I have my songs, so ...[2], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[2], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[3], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[3], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[3], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[3], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[3], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[3], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[3], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[3], and ... I can't stop![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![3], and Rimbaud would understand ...[3], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[3], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![3], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[3], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[3], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![3], and I have my songs, so ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[3], and

And revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[1], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[2], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[1], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[2], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[2], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[1], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[2], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[1], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[2], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[1], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[2], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[1], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[2], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[1], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[2], and ... I can't stop![1], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![1], and ... I can't stop![2], and Rimbaud would understand ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![2], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[1], and Rimbaud would understand ...[2], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![1], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[2], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[1], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![2], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[1], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[2], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[1], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![1], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[2], and I have my songs, so ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![2], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[1], and I have my songs, so ...[2], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[2], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[3], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[3], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[3], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[3], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[3], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[3], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[3], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[3], and ... I can't stop![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![3], and Rimbaud would understand ...[3], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[3], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![3], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[3], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[3], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![3], and I have my songs, so ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[3], and

And revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[1], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[2], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[1], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[1], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[2], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[2], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[1], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[2], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[1], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[2], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[1], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[2], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[1], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[2], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[1], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[2], and ... I can't stop![1], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![1], and ... I can't stop![2], and Rimbaud would understand ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![2], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[1], and Rimbaud would understand ...[2], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![1], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[2], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[1], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![2], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[1], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[2], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[1], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![1], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[2], and I have my songs, so ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![2], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[1], and I have my songs, so ...[2], and revolutions always get a-ROUND - !!! ... ... ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[2], and Byron knew - (?) - no more a-roving ... / ... twelve immortal lines, tired of life/poetry[3], and ... ... ... spin, spin, spin, eventually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... for us, uh, lots, lots, lots more a-roving a-ROUND here[3], and Eliot and Joyce started it! / So let me finish ...[3], and we can't live in the past / and we want to live in the FUTURE(!) ... don't we?[3], and ... ah, my little kooks, lovely kooks[3], and after four hundred or so conceptuals, you'd think the squares would have a fucking clue ...[3], and words, ugly and beautiful, sicken us with their absurd meanings / but I am here to set everyone FREE[3], and ... EMOTIONAL INTENSITY / VISION ...[3], and ... I can't stop![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... it's the DIZZY(!) life for me![3], and Rimbaud would understand ...[3], and with eternity, you never want to stop - ?(yes) / it's so easy to escape mundane reality this way[3], and Lautreamont wouldn't touch poetry!!! / MAN OF THE FUTURE!!![3], and are YOU(!) truly with me?[3], and I'm telling you, you, YOU(!) ... could go the other way, with all the sad ones[3], and actually poetry's already dead / just ain't had no funeral yet, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... stamp on it, stamp, stamp on it![3], and I have my songs, so ...[3], and, one day, oh, one day (God!) ... even when I'm thoroughly GONE(!) ... I'll still be here[3], and

Bobby Jain is joining Millennium Management

Yes, he's leaving Credit Suisse Asset Management, where he's the global head, to be co-chief investment officer at Millennium Management with Israel Englander. [Some people like to call him "Izzy". I call him "Israel" or "Mr Englander".] 'Is it really Bobby Jain, boss? Is that his name?' That's what I call him, Voice. 'And what does he call you?' Obviously, he calls me ... "Mikey". 'Oh. Are you old friends then?' Probably. I mean, I have so many friends in the world of finance. It's hard to keep track of them all.

Er, anyway, what does Bloomberg say about Bobby Jain? 'Christ!' Bloomberg says: This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 1 different industries. 'Some things never change.' Well, some things do change, man. Notice the small letters on "board members". Normally it's "Board Members". Where have the capitals gone? 'Who cares?! Haven't you got anything more interesting to write about?' No, not really. We've just had Easter. There isn't a lot of news.

Uh, anyway, I've been looking at Bobby's LinkedIn profile, and it's a load of crap. 'Why, boss?' It's a fake one. Are we supposed to believe that our Bobby doesn't have one connection?! Also, he's called Bob on the profile. That's not the Bobby I know. 'If you actually know him, that is.' Yes, if I actually know him.

In my life, reader(s), I know so many people. Bankers and hedge fund managers. They all merge into one big mass of faces and souls. They stare at me in dreams, in nightmares! Just like those mushrooms in that poem. 'Eh?! What poem?' The Derek Mahon poem. 'Oh, of course.'

...

However, it's too early in the morning for poetry. 'Maybe after lunch, yeah?' Ha! Be serious! After lunch, Voice, I'll be getting a-ROUND, No. 402. Conceptual stuff. 'Death to poetry!' Oh, that might be a good title. Thanks, man. 'Don't mention it, boss. When do I get a pay rise?' You don't. Cheeky git!

Monday, 28 March 2016

Trying to be perfect is "insane"

Yes, it's the Monday morning PR email, back by popular demand. 'Is it really a PR email, boss?' Well, sort of, Voice. It's Easter, and I don't have a lot of choice. 'What is it, exactly?' Er ... I signed up, somewhere, somehow, sometime, er ... to Tony Robbins emails. (I don't remember where or when.) Anyway, our Tony has sent me an email now. 'Great!' Apparently, trying to be perfect is ... INSANE!!! 'He didn't say it like that, did he?' No. Tony said "insane". But ...

Well ... what's he on about, our Tony? He says we've got to make decisions. There's no such thing as a perfect decision. Failure is not deciding. So just decide what you want to do, man, and let the chips fall where they may. 'Good advice!' Tony knows what he's talking about, Voice. Why he feels he has to tell me this on a bank holiday Monday though is anyone's guess. 'Maybe he thinks you're making a fresh start today.' Ha! Maybe I am.

Is there anything good on TV? 'No.' I've got to have my lunch. Then we'll see about fresh starts. It's a hard one. 'Constant activity?' Yeah. I'm not sure I can do it. But I think it's the best way to fight anxiety, you know? Oh, I'm not going into it all. God!

[Oh God! I probably don't need a fresh start. Think of my guitar playing, reader(s), as an example. I'm as good as I am now because I've been playing two hours a day (average) for the last two years. Should I have been doing four hours a day? 'You'd be burnt out doing that much, Mikey.' That's what I'm thinking.]

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to Led Zeppelin IV. It's the band's best album, by all accounts. / I've read that in the recording studio Jimmy Page used to improvise three solos and choose the best one for the track he was working on, rather than "write" something, you dig? It's a good way of working, but I'd be surprised if he did it all the time. 'You don't know, boss.' No, I don't know. I only improvise, myself. Forget it!

Anything else? There's nothing else, reader(s). Bank holiday, yeah? For fuck's sake! No finance. No news. / What are YOU(!) doing? Don't judge me. What are YOU(!) doing that's so wonderful, eh? Have a word with yourself!

Thursday, 24 March 2016

Chinh Chu is back!

Yeah, back, man. With a new firm. Chinh Chu. 'Who?' Chinh Chu, Voice. 'Oh.' He was a big guy at Blackstone, a master dealmaker. Everyone loved him. Until he left last year. 'Oh. Don't they love him no more, boss?' Well, they probably have nice memories of him. But we all move on in life, don't we? [He's still an "adviser" to the firm, apparently. Obviously, there's absolutely no need for the quotation marks. I'm a drama queen!] Chinh Chu is preparing for the future now. 'Okay. And what's the name of this new firm?' No one knows yet. I mean, it doesn't have a name. 'I see.' Don’t be like that, Voice. It's not bullshit. This firm will happen. I can tell you and the readers that it's going to be a SPAC thing with a blank check. Whatever a SPAC thing is. I don't know. I'm no expert. 'A blank check?' Yeah, our Chinh has more money than sense. 'Are you going to ask him for a loan?' Ha! I might ask him for a gift, man. I'm sure he can afford a gift. 'How much?' £100,000 should cover it. 'Cover what?' I don't know. Anything I feel like buying. 'You're shameless, Mikey.'

Well, if you don't ask, you don't get - that's my philosophy. / By the way, our Chinh is hoping to raise $1 billion. '$1 billion?!' Yeah. So, £100,000 out of that is nothing. Chump change. I'm feeling very positive about the whole situation.

...

Anything else? Music? Well, I'm listening to Japan, Exorcising Ghosts, for reasons best known to myself. They're all right, I suppose. / I have nice memories - 'Of Chinh?!' - of the song Night Porter, man, from my holiday in Cornwall last year. 'Oh.' There was only one rainy morning, and I was on Porth Kidney Sands, and the sea was right out, miles, and I was walking on the sand, and it was misty, and I could just see the crests of the waves, and I was listening to Night Porter ... and it was a pretty mystical experience, I have to say. I was practically the only person on this enormous beach, too.

Anyway, it's Easter. Laters, yeah?

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Tom Hayes has got to pay £878,806 now!

Yeah, to some court. 'Ha!' You know, Tom Hayes, the Libor guy? Jesus H. Christ! Where's he going to find that money? He's in prison. 'Maybe Tom can sell some of his cigarettes, boss, to the other cons, yeah?' Don't be ridiculous, Voice.

You see, dear reader(s): FINANCE DOESN'T PAY! Get out! Get out now! Save yourselves! Why are YOU(!) ... even bothering? Are you crazy?!

There are so many other things you can do. 'Mikey's still looking for a bass player.' No I'm not. Shut up, Voice. I'm solo. Just me and my guitar, three chords and the truth. / There must be something else you can do, my kook(s). 'Are they all kooks, boss?' Well, I don't know, man. I presume the regulars are. 'What about the squares?' Ha! They can stay at their banks or hedge funds. Screw 'em! Why should I care?

Just get out! OUT, OUT, OUT!!! Yes, YOU(!). 'But not ... you.' No, of course not. Not you.

...

Anything else? 'Is it the end of the week already?!' No, Voice. I've got one more post coming tomorrow. 'A PR email?' Maybe. I haven't had too many interesting ones this week. Just the usual buy gold and baked beans crap, but how many times can I write about that? We all know the world is coming to an end. Personally, I'm sick of it.

So ... anything else? No - is the short answer. Laters.

[No. 401] Jimmy Mahon? Spell book?

No! We got a conceptual, man!

And sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[1], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![2], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[2], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![1], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![2], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[1], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![2], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[1], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[2], and a-ROUND now - so wild![1], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[2], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND now - so wild![2], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[1], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[2], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[1], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[2], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[1], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[2], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[1], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![1], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[2], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![2], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![1], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[2], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![1], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![2], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![2], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[3], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![3], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![3], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[3], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[3], and a-ROUND now - so wild![3], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[3], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[3], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[3], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[3], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![3], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[3], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![3], and

And sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[1], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![2], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[2], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![1], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![2], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[1], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![2], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[1], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[2], and a-ROUND now - so wild![1], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[2], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND now - so wild![2], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[1], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[2], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[1], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[2], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[1], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[2], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[1], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![1], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[2], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![2], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![1], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[2], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![1], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![2], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![2], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[3], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![3], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![3], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[3], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[3], and a-ROUND now - so wild![3], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[3], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[3], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[3], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[3], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![3], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[3], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![3], and

And sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[1], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![2], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![1], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[2], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![1], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![2], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[1], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![2], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[1], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[2], and a-ROUND now - so wild![1], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[2], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND now - so wild![2], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[1], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[2], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[1], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[2], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[1], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[2], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[1], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![1], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[2], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![2], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![1], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[2], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![1], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![2], and sha, sha, sha ... the man, that's me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![2], and this is the modern way, DIZZY(!) magic(!) / and a few spins should set our Jimmy right[3], and turn, turn, turn ... to cash - ?![3], and Church House don't need no new chief executive BECAUSE(!) ... I can work miracles![3], and I'll get my intern to send the invoice off ...[3], and spin, spin, spin ... back to work, healthy, whole, human / oh, there's no need to thank me[3], and a-ROUND now - so wild![3], and I got twenty grand coming my way, my way, it's my way, you dig?[3], and I can just imagine ... the HORROR(!) as it happened ... uh, I'm glad I wasn't there[3], and a pile of cash ... / it could have been worse[3], and I'm cut off from most horror, except my own ...[3], and I'm glad I'm always here ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / 'It's almost routine, Mikey!' / So?![3], and here ... is JIMMY(!) / Oh, how do you feel, son?[3], and a new man, not just a new chief, maybe, maybe ... a sha, sha, sha ... the man, like me![3], and ... a-ROUND again? / One for the road![3], and

James Mahon at Church House Investment Management has turned to cash!!!

Well, well ... / Disturbing news, reader(s). 'How did it happen, boss?' God knows! He just turned to cash in front of everyone in the office. 'A bit like spontaneous combustion, I suppose.' Yeah, man. It's shocking. 'I've heard a rumour he also turned to treasury stocks.' Oh, I don't know about that. My source just says that Mr Mahon turned into a big pile of cash. Everyone was crying.

Church House Investment Management? Oh, I've never heard of them. (Well, not until recently, when I was tipped off, like.) What are they about?

Church House Investment Management is a private investment management company. We offer investment management services for private individuals and family groups, including their ISAs, pension funds, trusts and charitable foundations.

Sounds all right. 'Sounds wonderful!' What about our Jimmy, Jimmy Mahon?

Our Jimmy is the chief executive and chief investment officer of Church House. He was instrumental in the establishment of Church House Investment Management in 1999 and brings many years of experience to his role. He became a member of the London Stock Exchange in 1980 and has held a number of senior posts including being a partner in stockbrokers Galloway & Pearson, a director of Hoare Govett and managing director of Archdale Securities. Working with the investment committee he is responsible for the overall asset allocation strategy for all client portfolios.

 
'Bloody hell! What are they going to do now, boss? They've lost their top man!' Well, they've got two choices. They can let it go, let it be, you dig? 'You mean leave Jimmy as a pile of cash and find a new chief executive?' Yes. Or ... they can call me in. 'Really?' For a small fee, I'll be able to sort this. 'Have you still got your spell book, Mikey?' Ha! Yeah, somewhere. I'm a bit rusty, Voice. I'll be willing to give it my best shot though. For a small fee, as I say. 'How much were you thinking of?' £20,000. 'Christ!' Oh, come on! I've got expenses, man. And materials to get. 'Right. Whatever.' It's up to them, Voice. Would it be cheaper to find a new chief executive?

Call me, guys.

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Jeffrey Halpern has gone to Argon Capital Management

Well, well ... / Right, I'm going to try my best, really, with this post, dear reader(s), but there's a lot of "confusing" information, you dig? Firstly, I'm a bit disturbed by Jeff's LinkedIn profile picture. 'Ha!' Exactly, Voice. It looks like someone has interrupted him eating his dinner. I mean, is that professional?! 'Not really, boss.' Maybe it's designed to make him look like a regular person - all approachable, like. Like the pictures you sometimes see of authority figures holding a mug of coffee. 'Those slags!' Not that our Jeff is an authority figure, so ... I don't know what's going on!

Christ! It's not really important, I suppose. The big news is that Jeffrey Halpern and John Curran and Andrew Suckling and Pasha Bahadori and Hugo Picca and Glen Eisenberg and Andrew Greenberg have all joined Argon Capital recently. 'Massive expansion, man!' Yeah. Portfolio managers. 'Nice.' And Argon, it's the firm co-founded by our Aurelia. Remember her? 'Er ... no.' Come on, Voice! Aurelia Lamorre-Cargill. This is from the archive, May 2009 -

"Michael, I can assure you that I will not be giving birth to this money with a burst of cosmic fire in my head. (No?) No. Your friend Maurice is an idiot. All we have to do is grab the money. It is there waiting for us. (Aurelia, love, how can we grab potential money though?) I don't understand the question. (The money doesn't exist yet. It hasn't sprung from nothingness yet.) Michael, why are you and Maurice getting so hung up about this word 'potential'? It's just something I said when I was talking to some newspaper. The money exists. It's real money. We've just got to grab it. (With our cosmic minds, yeah?) Of course, Michael, what the fuck do you think I'm talking about over here?"

Pretty "confusing", I know. And I'm still confused seven years later! Uh, this firm: Argon Capital aims to take advantage of the structural inefficiencies of commodities markets to create superior risk-adjusted returns and scalable capacity for institutional investors. Sounds all right, don't it?

More?! Er ... Jeff's LinkedIn profile. "Serve!" and "Manage!" and "Lead!". Well ... uh. 'What's all that shit, boss?' It's Jeff, man, telling us to do stuff. Strange. Very strange.

Ah, that's it!

Monday, 21 March 2016

[No. 400] This is the real thing!

There ain't nothing like it.

And No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[1], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[2], and I know you're glad[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[2], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[1], and I know you're glad[2], and ... the THREE!!![1], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![1], and ... the THREE!!![2], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![2], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[1], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[2], and words are nothing![1], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[2], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[1], and words are nothing![2], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[1], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[2], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![1], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[2], and there is no meaning![1], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![2], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[1], and there is no meaning![2], and roll naked, kooks![1], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![1], and roll naked, kooks![2], and I know God, you know?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![2], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[1], and I know God, you know?[2], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[1], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[2], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![1], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[2], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[1], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![2], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[2], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[3], and I know you're glad[3], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[3], and ... the THREE!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![3], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[3], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[3], and words are nothing![3], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[3], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[3], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![3], and there is no meaning![3], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[3], and roll naked, kooks![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![3], and I know God, you know?[3], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[3], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[3], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[3], and

And No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[1], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[2], and I know you're glad[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[2], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[1], and I know you're glad[2], and ... the THREE!!![1], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![1], and ... the THREE!!![2], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![2], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[1], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[2], and words are nothing![1], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[2], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[1], and words are nothing![2], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[1], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[2], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![1], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[2], and there is no meaning![1], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![2], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[1], and there is no meaning![2], and roll naked, kooks![1], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![1], and roll naked, kooks![2], and I know God, you know?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![2], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[1], and I know God, you know?[2], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[1], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[2], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![1], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[2], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[1], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![2], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[2], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[3], and I know you're glad[3], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[3], and ... the THREE!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![3], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[3], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[3], and words are nothing![3], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[3], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[3], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![3], and there is no meaning![3], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[3], and roll naked, kooks![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![3], and I know God, you know?[3], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[3], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[3], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[3], and

And No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[1], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[2], and I know you're glad[1], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[2], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[1], and I know you're glad[2], and ... the THREE!!![1], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![1], and ... the THREE!!![2], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![2], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[1], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[2], and words are nothing![1], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[2], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[1], and words are nothing![2], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[1], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[2], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![1], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[2], and there is no meaning![1], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![2], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[1], and there is no meaning![2], and roll naked, kooks![1], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![1], and roll naked, kooks![2], and I know God, you know?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![2], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[1], and I know God, you know?[2], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[1], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[2], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![1], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[2], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[1], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![2], and No. 400 - !!! / No end in sight ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[2], and a-ROUND here with my reality(!) so real, baby / How do you feel?[3], and I know you're glad[3], and we could go on, forever, spinning the same, so full of love, and so DIZZY(!) ... maybe never needing to get beyond[3], and ... the THREE!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... with some Motown drums, please![3], and ... BUT(!), but, but ... I want to get beyond, you dig?[3], and life is pretty disappointing for the SQUARES(!), and they don't know that the KOOKS(!) have got it made, man[3], and words are nothing![3], and I play my game, a fantasy ...[3], and I have destroyed as much as I have created / but look at the cold world! / Oh, they don't know[3], and they walk around, closed off, not getting a-ROUND with our pure joy![3], and there is no meaning![3], and the beautiful THING(!) is really NOTHING(!) / Open your mind/soul if you can't understand ...[3], and roll naked, kooks![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... forget ... beyond the THREE!!! / Oh, you'll go insane![3], and I know God, you know?[3], and ... one, two, THREE, yes, yes, yes ... how many spins? Tell me, please! / I remember ...[3], and the breaking news? Insane ain't all that bad, man[3], and we will have memories to look back on, ha! / uh, here they come again![3], and what do YOU(!) ... know NOW(!)?[3], and

Valeant Pharmaceuticals?

What's all this? This, uh ... 'I can tell you, boss -'

Valeant Pharmaceuticals International, Inc. is a diverse and decentralized pharmaceutical company that is committed to focusing on our key stakeholders while delivering consistently high performance. Our values provide the overall direction for our company, and provide us with the tools necessary to rise to any challenge by leveraging our collective hard work and effort along with our unwavering competitive spirit. These values help us set goals based on our organization’s potential and what we hope it will become.

Yes, that's the company, Voice. But there's something in the news about hedge funds losing $5.3 billion last week. A stock meltdown, believe it or not. 'Oh.' Valeant has debt problems. 'But what about the organization's potential and what they hope it will become, man?!' Give me a break, man.

Uh ... / It's Monday morning, dear reader(s). Christ! Do you know what I mean? Why are you even in the office? Take a day off! Another day, yeah? 'Maybe they're not in the office.' Of course they are! This lot are gluttons for punishment.

...

Anything else? Politics? Oh, I haven't laughed so much in ages. George Osborne's Budget was basically a suicide note. Iain Duncan Smith has resigned, and is trying to pretend the benefit cuts were nothing to do with him. (God knows how many people have died. But it will all come out eventually. We only know about a few cases so far.) And David Cameron is looking weaker and more superficial than ever. And they're all fighting each other like deranged, starving rats in a sack. 'Why would you keep deranged, starving rats in a sack, boss?' Shut up, Voice! / And the Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn? What's he up to? Er ... well, maybe he's looking after the vegetables on his allotment. Who cares?! It doesn't really matter. / On a more serious note: The United Kingdom is fucked.

...

Music? I'm listening to the Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell song Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing. I've got it on repeat ... a-ROUND and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, you dig? I really like the melody, and the Motown drums.

My music? I made a video of myself (with my phone) playing my new tune on Saturday. It's definitely a BIG ONE. I was just singing a nonsense dummy lyric though. 'Oh no, Mikey.' Yeah, I'm getting desperate now, son. This could be a once-in-a-generation classic if I get the words right. I might go to Cornwall in three weeks time. 'Yes!!!' I want it finished by then.

I'm sick of writing about my music, anyway. What will happen will happen, etc. / Laters ...

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Who is Firman Leung?

You might be wondering ... / Well, he's just some guy who's got a new job at American Capital Partners. Firman is the executive managing director of investment banking and capital markets at the firm. And ...

American Capital Partners is a full service investment firm founded in 2002; headquartered in Hauppauge, New York. ACP is dedicated to providing clients with effective, timely advice for today's increasingly dynamic market. The firm's seasoned management has over eighty years of experience in the securities industry. Our philosophy is to build strong relationships with our clients and serve each client's individual needs and objectives with integrity, while providing the highest possible quality advice and personal service in an ever-changing market.

Which is all right, I suppose. They have a philosophy. That's a good sign. I hate these shitty little firms that don't have a philosophy. Staffed by cretins, most of them. Life is a serious business, man. You need a philosophy to make it through, you dig?

...

It's the end of the week, for me. And I'm distracted. Don't worry about it, reader(s). I've got things on my mind. No one knows the troubles I've seen. / I bought a new mobile phone today, SIM free. [The SIM card is in the post.] The first new one in ten years. 'Christ, Mikey!' I know, Voice. It's a different world. I have no idea how it works. I might as well be a caveman seeing his first fire. Oh, I'll get to grips with it, somehow ...

Anything else? Give me a break! Why do you always want something else? I've told you about Firman Leung. Be happy with that.

Music? Well, I've managed to put a few albums on my new phone. The speaker is good. Powerage sounds great, man!

Martin Sorrell gets a £62 million bonus!

Well, well ... / I find this is a little confusing, actually. 'Why, boss?' Why?! Voice, I swear I saw Martin Sorrell on the TV the other day saying how much we've all suffered during austerity. 'Oh.' Yes, I'm sure he said: We've had it hard. Something like that, you know? 'Maybe he was referring to his sex life.' Don't be ridiculous, man! No, he was definitely talking about austerity. Everyone has suffered. We're all in this together.

[From an old post - We all know how little time I have for Martin Sorrell. (Well, I know, obviously. How could I not know?) I have no time for Martin Sorrell. And I'm not calling him "Sir". I don't care how many queens he's friendly with. / Ha!]

I, er ... 'Boss, he's the boss of WPP, ain't he?' So? 'Well, it explains why he got such a big bonus. It's only natural.' Oh, I see. Oh, I understand now. When Marty was saying we've all suffered, he meant: You've all suffered. Tough luck, losers! 'I doubt he has that attitude, man.' No?

Christ! Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's fair. Maybe he deserves the money. I wonder though if they could get someone else to do exactly the same job just as well for a £10 million bonus. '£10 million is still a lot of money.' Yes, it is. I reckon you could get a very good chief executive for that money. And then the rest of the money, the £52 million, could be given to a homeless charity, maybe. 'Or to you.' Yes, or to me. I've suffered enough. More than enough! I think I deserve it. I've never gone hungry or anything, but - 'Your sufferings have all been spiritual, Mikey, in your soul. Alone on that fucking mountain top, just like Zarathustra!' Yes, thank you, Voice. / Dear reader(s), as a spiritual aristocrat, I have suffered a hell of a lot. £52 million would be lovely!

...

Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! / Uh, it's all a fantasy. Never mind. What else? Anything else?

NOTHING ELSE.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

LCP's property wish list for the Budget

Right, it's the, er ... Tuesday night PR email now, back by popular demand. 'Tuesday night, boss? That's a new one on me.' Shut up!

Let's get it done. [Who are LCP?!] It's been a long day.

The 2016 Budget is upon us and the property industry is anxiously anticipating what is in store for the property market and the results of the consultation on the 3% additional stamp duty, set to apply to second homes and buy to let properties.

Okay. What are the wishes?

1) Protect domestic buyers buying their first main residence by ring-fencing purchases made before the April 2016 implementation date.

2) Encourage homeownership, but not at the expense of the private rented sector which needs to expand to accommodate the increasing population.

3) Everyone should have the opportunity to buy one property in the UK at BRSD, if they do not already hold a property in the UK, wherever they are located.


Well, I don't know. The problem is, people in this country can't afford to live any more. A lot of people are struggling to put food on the table, let alone buy a bloody house, yeah?

It's all cloud cuckoo land, and we're all going down, reader(s). I can't see any way that civilization (as we know it) can be kept going long term. I mean, I bought that new Mad Max DVD recently, the one with Tom Hardy. That's the future, man! And Tom was eating lizards or insects or something, and some psycho was using him as a fucking blood bag - believe it or not. I didn't see Tom popping into the estate agent's. Do you know what I mean? 'I think the film is set in Australia, Mikey.' So?!

Ah, laters.

[No. 399] Matthieu Duncan is spinning with the dolphins, man!

Astraddle on the dolphin's mire and blood? It's not impossible.

And a-ROUND here ... no sharks![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[1], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![2], and just dolphins![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[2], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[1], and just dolphins![2], and I prefer owls, but ...[1], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[1], and I prefer owls, but ...[2], and so full of LOVE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[2], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[1], and so full of LOVE!!![2], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[1], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[2], and it's a kind of freedom, really[1], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[2], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[1], and it's a kind of freedom, really[2], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[1], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[2], and never mind, eh?[1], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[2], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[1], and never mind, eh?[2], and the waves of my genius![1], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[2], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[1], and the waves of my genius![2], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![1], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[2], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![1], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![2], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![2], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[3], and just dolphins![3], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[3], and I prefer owls, but ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[3], and so full of LOVE!!![3], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[3], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[3], and it's a kind of freedom, really[3], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[3], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[3], and the waves of my genius![3], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[3], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![3], and

And a-ROUND here ... no sharks![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[1], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![2], and just dolphins![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[2], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[1], and just dolphins![2], and I prefer owls, but ...[1], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[1], and I prefer owls, but ...[2], and so full of LOVE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[2], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[1], and so full of LOVE!!![2], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[1], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[2], and it's a kind of freedom, really[1], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[2], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[1], and it's a kind of freedom, really[2], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[1], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[2], and never mind, eh?[1], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[2], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[1], and never mind, eh?[2], and the waves of my genius![1], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[2], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[1], and the waves of my genius![2], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![1], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[2], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![1], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![2], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![2], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[3], and just dolphins![3], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[3], and I prefer owls, but ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[3], and so full of LOVE!!![3], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[3], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[3], and it's a kind of freedom, really[3], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[3], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[3], and the waves of my genius![3], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[3], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![3], and

And a-ROUND here ... no sharks![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[1], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![2], and just dolphins![1], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[2], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[1], and just dolphins![2], and I prefer owls, but ...[1], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[1], and I prefer owls, but ...[2], and so full of LOVE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[2], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[1], and so full of LOVE!!![2], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[1], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[2], and it's a kind of freedom, really[1], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[2], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[1], and it's a kind of freedom, really[2], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[1], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[2], and never mind, eh?[1], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[2], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[1], and never mind, eh?[2], and the waves of my genius![1], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[2], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[1], and the waves of my genius![2], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![1], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[2], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![1], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![2], and a-ROUND here ... no sharks![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![2], and it's a special request, a dream come true for our Matthieu - and I'm really happy to help[3], and just dolphins![3], and, oh, Matthieu, son, it's the sea of my consciousness! / Yes, my gift to you ...[3], and I prefer owls, but ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and they're so friendly, don't you think?[3], and so full of LOVE!!![3], and you can kiss and cuddle them, that's for sure / I still prefer owls though[3], and it certainly beats finance - no dealing with real animals who want all your money and all your soul[3], and it's a kind of freedom, really[3], and one big wave, you'll never be touched by the cold world again[3], and, Matthieu, I can't see you starting at Natixis next month / Gut feeling, yeah?[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND / Can you spin with the dolphins beyond the THREE?[3], and the waves of my genius![3], and tell the freaks at Natixis ... you've found a better life with creatures that have genuine feelings[3], and say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye ... to dull reality![3], and say hello to ETERNITY!!![3], and

Matthieu Duncan is the new chief executive of Natixis Asset Management

Well, he will be, next month. Christ knows what he's doing at the moment though. Actually, Christ knows what he's been doing since May last year. He was the chief operating officer at Quilter Cheviot Investment Management. But he didn't fancy that. 'No?' Not for long, Voice. He was only there for a year and a half. Then he went missing ... until now. 'Ha!' What has our Matthieu been doing with himself? Seriously!

Oh, er ... / Hang on! An email has just come through. Bloody hell! How did he know I was writing about him? 'Is it an email from Matthieu, boss?' Yes, it is. 'Impressive! What does he say?'

Dear Michael,

I know you're writing about me, son. I ain't stupid, you know. However, I do have mystical powers. You want to know what I've been doing since I left Quilter Cheviot last year? Not that it's any of your business, but ... I've been getting into myself, you dig? Out, out into the cosmos, and in, in, in - into myself. Deep inside. Meditating, thinking, making plans for the future. And looking around! What's going on, man? I've been crying tears for the world. What are we doing to the planet, Michael? How many dolphins do we have left? Something must be done.

So, yeah, have your fun. Laugh at me with your readers. But please understand that I'm trying to make changes. I'm trying to grow!

Kind regards,

Matthieu


Okay, fair enough. A little hysterical maybe. I haven't even mentioned dolphins in this post, have I, Voice? 'No, boss. No, you haven't.'

Well, well ... Natixis (Global - ?!) Asset Management. What do we know about it?

Natixis Global Asset Management is a multi-affiliate organization that offers a single point of access to more than twenty specialized investment firms in the Americas, Europe and Asia. The firm ranks among the world’s largest asset managers. Through its Mystical Portfolio Construction philosophy, the company is dedicated to providing innovative ideas on asset allocation and risk management that can help institutions, advisors and individuals address a range of modern market challenges.

Nice. Very nice. 'Nothing about the dolphins.' No. I hope Natixis has made the right choice with our Matthieu. 'Some hope!' They've got the mystical thing going on, man. However, no dolphins. It's the owls I'm concerned about, myself. 'Yeah.' But I'm sure Matthieu knows what he's doing.

...

Anything else? 'Please!' Music? I ain't got nothing on yet. However, my music! I'm in two minds now about the structure of my new song. 'Oh, Christ!' I told you yesterday, my dear reader(s), that I was going to put the chorus at the beginning. Strangely, though, this weakens the song. With the old structure it really has the power of a poppy Smells Like Teen Spirit. 'That song was poppy, anyway, boss. Just with heavy guitars and drums.' You might have a point there, Voice. / I don't know what to do. Maybe I shouldn't make a decision until I have some or all of the lyric.

Laters. I might have a PR email later. So, laters.