Monday, 3 October 2011

Who is Chris Cummings? What in the name of Christ is all this TheCityUK nonsense?

Has the whole world gone crazy?! I was looking around for news this morning and I found out that there's a man by the name of Chris Cummings who appears to be the chief executive of something called TheCityUK. 'TheCityUK champions the international competitiveness of the financial services industry. Created in 2010, we support the whole of the sector, promoting UK financial services at home and overseas and playing an active role in the regulatory and trade policy debate.' Boring, but true. However, that's not the worst of it. The poor chap says he wants everyone in finance to embrace regulation or whatever. Embrace it! [My words. Or my word. 'Embrace'. I'm being creative.] Madness! Insane fucking madness! Do turkeys vote for Christmas? Does the Pope shit in the woods? No! And there's more. Chris says 'we' lost our reputation in the wilderness - in the desert, I think he means. [He does mean. I've decided.] Well, that is bullshit! Anyone with half a brain knows that we found, or rather earned, our reputation in the wilderness, in the desert.

By the way, I got that Pope line from one of my new favourite films, The Big Lebowski. It’s a wonderful film. (Actually, my second favourite now after Fandango and before American Graffiti. All three films rely on beautiful atmosphere and characters. I'm not a big fan of plot and action.) I lived like The Dude for many years, before I got all ambitious, and it's an admirable lifestyle. We can't all be like Iain Duncan Smith. Or that ridiculous PR man he calls boss these days. And we wouldn't, or shouldn't, want to be like Ed Miliband and his gang of lefties. But I guess fascists and commies never go out of style. I say: a plague on both their houses! Life isn't black and white. The cosmos isn't black and white. And the cosmos isn't grey, if that's what you're thinking. I've seen it: it's multicoloured.

Right, I'm going bowling. Taking it easy for all you sinners. See you tomorrow.