Wednesday 31 January 2018

[No. 583] All or nothing

Don't be afraid, square(s).

And, yes, I try ...[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[1], and, yes, I try ...[2], and it's your funeral, you dig?[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[1], and it's your funeral, you dig?[2], and be open, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[2], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[1], and be open, yes[2], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[1], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[2], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[1], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![2], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[1], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[2], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[1], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[2], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[1], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[2], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[1], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[2], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![1], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[1], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![2], and ... you dig?[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[2], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[1], and ... you dig?[2], and, uh ...[1], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[2], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![1], and, uh ...[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![2], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[1], and, so ...[2], and, yes, I try ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[2], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[3], and it's your funeral, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[3], and be open, yes[3], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[3], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![3], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[3], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[3], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[3], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[3], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[3], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[3], and ... you dig?[3], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[3], and, uh ...[3], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[3], and

And, yes, I try ...[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[1], and, yes, I try ...[2], and it's your funeral, you dig?[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[1], and it's your funeral, you dig?[2], and be open, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[2], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[1], and be open, yes[2], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[1], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[2], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[1], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![2], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[1], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[2], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[1], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[2], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[1], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[2], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[1], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[2], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![1], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[1], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![2], and ... you dig?[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[2], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[1], and ... you dig?[2], and, uh ...[1], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[2], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![1], and, uh ...[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![2], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[1], and, so ...[2], and, yes, I try ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[2], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[3], and it's your funeral, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[3], and be open, yes[3], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[3], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![3], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[3], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[3], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[3], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[3], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[3], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[3], and ... you dig?[3], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[3], and, uh ...[3], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[3], and

And, yes, I try ...[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[1], and, yes, I try ...[2], and it's your funeral, you dig?[1], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[1], and it's your funeral, you dig?[2], and be open, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[2], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[1], and be open, yes[2], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[1], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[2], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[1], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![2], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[1], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[2], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[1], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[2], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[1], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[2], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[1], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[2], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![1], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[1], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![2], and ... you dig?[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[2], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[1], and ... you dig?[2], and, uh ...[1], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[2], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![1], and, uh ...[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![2], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[1], and, so ...[2], and, yes, I try ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[2], and if you're not here with me ... then you're obviously somewhere else[3], and it's your funeral, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what else you gonna do?[3], and be open, yes[3], and, Christ! ... if spinning don't get your soul, I don't know what to suggest, honestly I don't[3], and your soul is useless in its present state ... / ... and it's only good for normal reality[3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and the kooks and I spit on normal reality / and, yes, we really hate it - with a passion![3], and you're lucky I'm taking an interest in you ...[3], and, please! ... just commit to having your life - such as it is - destroyed and rebuilt by a master[3], and if you choose the NOTHING you already have, well ...[3], and it's real hard, reaching you ...[3], and, please ... don't confuse your little nothing with my big cosmic nothing, but that's something else, yes[3], and this is all, and this is all, and this is ALL!!![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / ... and if you ain't DIZZY(!), man, you're doing it wrong[3], and ... you dig?[3], and I know you don't dig, because you'd be a kook if you did, and I'm just saying ... you know?[3], and, uh ...[3], and, ah ... never mind / and why do I even bother? / and ... TELL ME - !!! - !!! - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and are YOU(!) in? / and, well ... or are YOU(!) out?[3], and

Heart monitoring solution ...

There's a heart monitoring solution, dear reader(s), yes, you'll be glad to hear. 'You don't have a heart, boss.' Ha! I'm all heart, Voice. 'Where's my pay rise, then? Actually, where's my pay?' Ha, ha, ha! Do some bloody work first!

DUBLIN, Ireland, January 30, 2018 - Foundry Innovation & Research 1, Ltd. ("FIRE1"), today announced the close of a Series C financing totaling EUR 40 Million. The financing was led by new investor Glide Healthcare, with the participation of new investors Gimv and Seventure and all existing investors, including Lightstone Ventures, Medtronic, and New Enterprise Associates. It was also announced that Janke Dittmer, partner at Gilde Healthcare, and Patrick Van Beneden, partner at Gimv, have joined FIRE1's Board of Directors.

Okay. So, uh ... what is it?

Headquartered in Dublin, Ireland, FIRE1 is a connected medical device solutions company dedicated to improving outcomes for people suffering with chronic diseases. Its first product is a novel remote monitoring solution to improve outcomes for Heart Failure patients. The FIRE1 team is led by an experienced medical devices team who are working closely with researchers, clinicians, patients and payors to help reduce the burden of heart failure.

Oh, okay. It's really technical medical stuff. It's not about feelings and shit. 'Which probably makes good business sense, boss.' Yes, probably. / Let's hear from Conor -

"This infusion of new capital from these premier investors will enable us to accelerate our progress and deliver on our commitment to help patients with heart failure," said Conor Hanley, FIRE1 CEO and President. "Heart failure is a life-threatening disease and a significant burden on patients and healthcare systems. Managing patients at home with novel digital health-enabled solutions will help intercept the trajectory of the disease and reduce the need for hospitalization."

Okay. Thanks, man.

...

Right. Now on to the serious business. Dear reader(s), have you ever signed up to Amazon Prime by mistake? Normally, when I'm ordering something I manage to avoid it, but they tricked me into signing up this morning. Then I had to jump through a thousand hoops just to cancel it. Talk about dodgy! 'They're dodgy as fuck, boss.' Tell me about it!

And that Jeff Bezos. He's trying to copy Elon Musk now with his rockets. 'Ha! Jeff has the cash, man, but not the expertise. Elon Musk is the real-life Tony Stark, for Christ's sake!' Yeah, I know.

Unbelievable.

Music? I'm sitting here in SILENCE, believe it or not. Sometimes I don't want to listen to music. 'Because it blocks out the cosmos, Mikey? The consciousness ness in your head, like.' Not necessarily, Voice. It all depends on the music. Brian Eno's Apollo is perfect for enticing the cosmos in.

Anyway, laters.

Tuesday 30 January 2018

Some sort of solution for MiFID II communications compliance ...

If you need it, dear reader(s). Who needs it? Not me. Having said that, a shaman's solution would be the ultimate solution because we just communicate with our minds and our souls, you dig? Uh, do you dig? Are they awake, Voice? 'Maybe they're not tuned into our wavelength, boss.' Well, it's their loss, man, if that's the case.

London, UK, January 29 2018: StarLeaf, leading provider of meeting room and management solutions for Microsoft's UC platforms Skype for Business and Teams, is the first manufacturer to offer meeting room systems that are fully-primed with a precise set of functionality, which enables financial service organizations to comply with the new Markets in Financial Instruments Directive (MiFID II).

Yeah, yeah. Not bad, I suppose, and this ain't an endorsement. 'Heaven forbid!' But not bad, if they've got it all set up for MiFID II, like they say they have. 'Yeah.' Of course, you could come to me ... or not even come to me, but just establish a mind or soul connection, you dig? 'He's a shaman, readers!' Yes, they know what I am. 'Tell them again!' I am the world's foremost financial shaman. / But anyway ...

MiFID is a European Union law which standardizes regulation for investment services across all member states of the European Economic Area. Now in effect, MiFID II features substantial revisions that offer investors protection and transparency across all asset classes. Specifically, new rules dictate that all forms of communication concerning financial transactions are recorded so that there is an auditable trail. Crucially, compliance with MiFID II mandates that all video meetings are recorded and all participants logged, including those using meeting rooms.

Well, well ... finance people should know what MiFID is by now, or they're in real trouble. 'But what about the recording, boss?' Okay. Easy! When we have a mind or soul connection, it all gets stored on the astral plane for anyone to see later. 'Yeah, if they can get to the astral plane, that is.' Ha! That's just a simple matter of pathworking, man, through your subconscious, like. 'Yeah, if they know how to do it.' Christ! Voice, I'll fucking show them, won't I?! For a small fee, obviously. 'Obviously.' Yes, obviously. Why not? After all, we are not communists. They must let me drink from the well, as it were. / But anyway ...

"Financial service organizations that have adopted Microsoft's UC platform are well catered for with a raft of enabling technology that supports their compliance," said Jonathan Williams, Head of StarLeaf's Microsoft Business Unit. "However, when it comes to video conferences and meeting rooms, organizations are faced with the need to record every meeting and log every participant. Ultimately, this means that room systems cannot be randomly used and every meeting participant must be logged. This is precisely where StarLeaf comes in, we offer our customers a way to achieve compliance by ensuring that all people joining via a StarLeaf Microsoft Skype meeting room system are accounted for and tracked."

Okay, okay. Thank you, Jonathan.

...

Anything else? 'Er ... Brexit, Mikey!' Brexit? Well, reality hasn't been kind to Brexit, has it? But that's all I'm going to say about it because I'm sick of it, man. Seriously.

Right. My music? Jesus H. - !!! Haven't I told you, dear reader(s), that I don't do updates no more. This is a finance blog, you know? 'Just tell them. FFS!' Okay. That new tune? I've changed the rhythm, which has transformed everything. It might be my best piece of music now, so I better get a lyric for it quick. It won't be on the demo though. 'Why not, Mikey?' Because I've got the songs I need for that, man.

NOW ... laters, yeah?

Monday 29 January 2018

[No. 582] Gizza deal

With lots of cake!

And, uh ...[1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[1], and, uh ...[2], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[2], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[1], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![2], and we want![1], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[2], and we demand, yes, yes![1], and we want![2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[1], and we demand, yes, yes![2], and help![1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[2], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[1], and help![2], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[1], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[2], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[1], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[2], and ... unbelievable[1], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[2], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[1], and ... unbelievable[2], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![1], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[2], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![1], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![2], and ... exhausted, honestly![1], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![2], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![1], and ... exhausted, honestly![2], and, uh ... deal[1], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![2], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![1], and, uh ... deal[2], and ... ah, God![1], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![2], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![1], and ... ah, God![2], and this is a never-ending nightmare[1], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![2], and, uh ...[3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[2], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[3], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![3], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[3], and we want![3], and we demand, yes, yes![3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[3], and help![3], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[3], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[3], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[3], and ... unbelievable[3], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[3], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![3], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![3], and ... exhausted, honestly![3], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![3], and, uh ... deal[3], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![3], and ... ah, God![3], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[3], and

And, uh ...[1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[1], and, uh ...[2], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[2], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[1], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![2], and we want![1], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[2], and we demand, yes, yes![1], and we want![2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[1], and we demand, yes, yes![2], and help![1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[2], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[1], and help![2], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[1], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[2], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[1], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[2], and ... unbelievable[1], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[2], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[1], and ... unbelievable[2], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![1], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[2], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![1], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![2], and ... exhausted, honestly![1], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![2], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![1], and ... exhausted, honestly![2], and, uh ... deal[1], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![2], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![1], and, uh ... deal[2], and ... ah, God![1], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![2], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![1], and ... ah, God![2], and this is a never-ending nightmare[1], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![2], and, uh ...[3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[2], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[3], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![3], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[3], and we want![3], and we demand, yes, yes![3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[3], and help![3], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[3], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[3], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[3], and ... unbelievable[3], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[3], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![3], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![3], and ... exhausted, honestly![3], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![3], and, uh ... deal[3], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![3], and ... ah, God![3], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[3], and

And, uh ...[1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[1], and, uh ...[2], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![1], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[2], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[1], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![2], and we want![1], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[2], and we demand, yes, yes![1], and we want![2], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[1], and we demand, yes, yes![2], and help![1], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[2], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[1], and help![2], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[1], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[2], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[1], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[2], and ... unbelievable[1], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[2], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[1], and ... unbelievable[2], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![1], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[2], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![1], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![2], and ... exhausted, honestly![1], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![2], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![1], and ... exhausted, honestly![2], and, uh ... deal[1], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![2], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![1], and, uh ... deal[2], and ... ah, God![1], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![2], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![1], and ... ah, God![2], and this is a never-ending nightmare[1], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![2], and, uh ...[3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[2], and it should be easy, so easy ... / ... and we've got a great team, really, we must believe[3], and, oi! ... THEM(!) ... gizza deal![3], and give me cake, lots of cake, and I'll stuff it in my mouth, and wash it down with the finest wine ...[3], and we want![3], and we demand, yes, yes![3], and, so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, sick, so sick of begging, and we feel the real sick, man, of ...[3], and help![3], and no end in sight, but it must be coming ...[3], and, hey, hey, hey! ... yes, THEM(!) ... bring out the cake! / and, Christ! ... are they deaf?[3], and it's beyond a joke, I'm afraid / and, no, no, no, it's not good enough, is it?[3], and ... unbelievable[3], and don't they know who we are? / and do we know what we are?[3], and all we want is a deal that's much worse than the one we already have, and, and, and ... why?![3], and ... BECAUSE WE ARE INSANE!!![3], and ... exhausted, honestly![3], and, listen ... even a slice of mouldy cake would be all right, but we must have CAKE!!![3], and, uh ... deal[3], and, yes, the deal, yes, with lots of lovely cake! / and gizza, gizza, gizza a deal, please, please![3], and ... ah, God![3], and the clock is ticking ... / and what have we done? / and the end is coming![3], and this is a never-ending nightmare[3], and

Enra Group acquires Vantage Finance

Okay, okay. I've got a PR email from Smells Like Teamspirit. 'Who are they, boss?' They're the PR firm, Voice. 'Oh.' Yes. And they've got something to say about mortgages -

Specialist mortgage business, Enra Group, today [uh, the other day, last week] announces the acquisition of master broker Vantage Finance.

Enra, an Exponent Private Equity portfolio company, purchased the master broking business from management and existing private equity backer, Chiltern Capital, as part of the Group's growth strategy. Vantage will sit alongside existing master broker Enterprise Finance in the Enra portfolio, to strengthen the Group's position in specialist mortgage broking.


What are specialist mortgages? 'Probably mortgages for weird stuff, like castles.' Castles aren't weird, man. Jim Maclaine lived in a castle. 'Yeah, he was pretty weird.' Well, he went weird, didn't he? It was all those drugs he took. He should never have split with The Stray Cats. And Danielle. 'That was Mike Menary's fault, boss.' Maybe, maybe not. I mean, Jim let him get away with that bad stuff because he wanted it to happen, really. 'Yeah?' Well, it's just a theory of mine. / Anyway ...

The Vantage operation will continue to service existing broker and client relationships at their current location, in the same way, with the existing team, name, and core values. At the same time, the business will benefit from enhanced scalability, through integration into the wider Enra Group structure. Revenue synergies are expected both from faster growth in the Vantage business and strategic product fit with the Group's lending arm.

Well, whatever. / Let's hear from Emily -

Emily Gestetner, CFO of Enra Group said "This is a significant step for Enra. Vantage's specialist mortgage broking expertise complements the Group's strong presence in specialist distribution, where Enterprise Finance is already a leading master broker, at a time when the Group is expanding its lending proposition in those areas. I look forward to Enra maintaining its established track record of strong growth as a market leading provider of specialist mortgages."

Okay, okay. Thanks, Emily. ENDS. 'What about Lucy, boss?' We haven't got time for Lucy. 'Oh, that's lovely, that is.' She won't mind. 'She might.' Jesus H. Christ!!!

Lucy Hodge, founder and MD of Vantage Finance added: "Having established Vantage almost 14 years ago and grown it to the successful business it is today, I am excited by the opportunity to work alongside the talented and successful management within the Enra Group and taking Vantage to the next stage of its growth whilst contributing to the wider Group. Our ability to leverage the financial and back-office strength of the Group gives us a strong platform to accelerate the growth of the Vantage business."

Are you happy now, Voice?! 'My happiness has got nothing to do with it. But I bet Lucy is happy.' Okay. That's enough.

...

Anything else, dear reader(s)? Music? My music?! Well, all right, but this will have to be my last ever update. 'Ha!' I'm serious, man. There's no need for it any more. It's just a habit I've got to break, that's all. / Yeah, anyway, I've finished my new tune. I need a lyric. There's no rush. It'll be a big pop/rock ballad, again. I like them. 'Nice one, Mikey!' Thanks, Voice. The thing is, I reckon I'll be able to write such songs forever. I mean, the way I work now, you dig?

So don't watch this space, crocodile(s). Watch that space, over there. Later(s)!

Thursday 25 January 2018

They wanted $1 billion for their new fund, but they got $1.5 billion ...

Who am I talking about, dear reader(s)? 'Ha! They won't know, boss.' Give them a chance, Voice. Come on, readers! Which firm? 'Give them a clue.' Christ! All right. Here's a clue -

Portfolio Advisors, LLC is an independent, employee-owned firm that provides tailored private equity, private real estate and private credit investment solutions through separately managed accounts, commingled fund-of-funds programs and direct funds. We invest on behalf of our clients and funds through primary partnerships, secondary purchases, co-investments and direct mezzanine investments. More than 1,000 limited partners have invested in various Portfolio Advisors sponsored funds. Portfolio Advisors has been an Investment Advisor registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission since 1994, and is also a Qualified Professional Asset Manager in the U.S. With offices in the U.S., Europe and Asia, Portfolio Advisors has established a global footprint in a global asset class.

That's from their website. Come on! It's easy. 'Boss, we're getting a mind call through from Tim in the City.' A mind call? Okay. Whatever. I was hoping we might get a soul connection. 'Be serious! A mind call is fine, at this time in the morning. Anyway, Tim says it's Portfolio Advisors, LLC.' Ha! Well done, Tim, mate! [And people say City folk are thick.] 'Er, he wants to know if he wins a prize.' Yes, Voice, he does. Take his full name and his place of employment and I will send him a packet of Jammie Dodgers by special courier. 'Great!' Is he happy? 'He's over the moon, boss!' Good.

Well, this fund. They're calling it the Portfolio Advisors Secondary Fund III, which I think is a brilliant name for it. As I say, they only wanted to raise $1 billion, but the crazy cats managed to get their hands on $1.5 billion. 'I bet they're celebrating, boss.' Jammie Dodgers all round, I should imagine, Voice.

...

And that's all the news, blog fan(s), because it's the end of another week.

Anything else? Quickly. Uh. My music? Well, I've been thinking that it might be a nice idea to get fifteen songs, so I can have a few spare. 'FFS! Concentrate on your guitar playing, Mikey! And recording!' Well, yes, it's true that I haven't got time for everything.

Oh, one day, I'll pack this blog in and work on my music the way Elon Musk works on his cars and rockets. 'Ha!' One day, man. Check out that book by Ashlee Vance, reader(s).

Laters.

Wednesday 24 January 2018

[No. 581] I'll never go to Davos

Never!

And, uh ... not again, Christ![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[1], and, uh ... not again, Christ![2], and I say: down with stupid words![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[1], and I say: down with stupid words![2], and ... I hope, a lot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[2], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![1], and ... I hope, a lot![2], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[1], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![2], and, uh ... nothing[1], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[2], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[1], and, uh ... nothing[2], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![1], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[1], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![2], and your eyes are heavy ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[2], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[1], and your eyes are heavy ...[2], and, but ... no rainbows, son![1], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[2], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[1], and, but ... no rainbows, son![2], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![1], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[2], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[1], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![2], and if they had any sense ...[1], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[2], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[1], and if they had any sense ...[2], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[1], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[2], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![1], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[2], and, uh ... not again, Christ![3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![2], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[3], and I say: down with stupid words![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[3], and ... I hope, a lot![3], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![3], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[3], and, uh ... nothing[3], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[3], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[3], and your eyes are heavy ...[3], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[3], and, but ... no rainbows, son![3], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[3], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![3], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[3], and if they had any sense ...[3], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[3], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![3], and

And, uh ... not again, Christ![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[1], and, uh ... not again, Christ![2], and I say: down with stupid words![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[1], and I say: down with stupid words![2], and ... I hope, a lot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[2], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![1], and ... I hope, a lot![2], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[1], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![2], and, uh ... nothing[1], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[2], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[1], and, uh ... nothing[2], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![1], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[1], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![2], and your eyes are heavy ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[2], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[1], and your eyes are heavy ...[2], and, but ... no rainbows, son![1], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[2], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[1], and, but ... no rainbows, son![2], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![1], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[2], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[1], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![2], and if they had any sense ...[1], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[2], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[1], and if they had any sense ...[2], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[1], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[2], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![1], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[2], and, uh ... not again, Christ![3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![2], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[3], and I say: down with stupid words![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[3], and ... I hope, a lot![3], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![3], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[3], and, uh ... nothing[3], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[3], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[3], and your eyes are heavy ...[3], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[3], and, but ... no rainbows, son![3], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[3], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![3], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[3], and if they had any sense ...[3], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[3], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![3], and

And, uh ... not again, Christ![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[1], and, uh ... not again, Christ![2], and I say: down with stupid words![1], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[1], and I say: down with stupid words![2], and ... I hope, a lot![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[2], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![1], and ... I hope, a lot![2], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[1], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![2], and, uh ... nothing[1], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[2], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[1], and, uh ... nothing[2], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![1], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[1], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![2], and your eyes are heavy ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[2], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[1], and your eyes are heavy ...[2], and, but ... no rainbows, son![1], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[2], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[1], and, but ... no rainbows, son![2], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![1], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[2], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[1], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![2], and if they had any sense ...[1], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[2], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[1], and if they had any sense ...[2], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[1], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[2], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![1], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[2], and, uh ... not again, Christ![3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![2], and all they do is talk, man, forever ... / and I can do that here / and, but ... I'd rather spin in silence, you dig?[3], and I say: down with stupid words![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and all the words become beautiful mush[3], and ... I hope, a lot![3], and there ain't no Davos squares here with us, thank God, ha, ha, ha![3], and they meet every year ... / and we meet twice a week, kook(s) / and what is achieved?[3], and, uh ... nothing[3], and NOTHING(!!!) needs to be achieved by us - !!! / and we've certainly got the talent[3], and spin harder! / and don't quit / and, well ... keep going![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, feels so good, so forget about Davos[3], and your eyes are heavy ...[3], and you've got to be in it to win it ... and that's why we're here, ain't it?[3], and, but ... no rainbows, son![3], and it's life beyond the THREE that we want / and I'm talking genuine soul riches[3], and, ah ... those freaks in Davos![3], and there ain't no mystery / and they just wanna get richer / and maybe we should pray for the wretches[3], and if they had any sense ...[3], and, yes, if they had any sense, they'd give all their money to me, because I got the style to spend it right[3], and, so ... yes, well, let's pray[3], and, oh ... I'm staying positive, me![3], and

Davos

Yes, it's Davos time again. 'Are you going, boss?' Ha! Ha, ha, ha! 'Is that a no, then?' Ha, ha, ha! Voice, man. FFS! 'I suppose you haven't been invited?' Er, I'm invited every year. But I refuse to go every year. 'Okay.' Yes. / Anyway ...

Rome, 23 January 2018 - As an unprecedented number of government and business leaders gather at the World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos today to improve international collaboration in a 'fragmented world', the President of the International Fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD) issued an urgent call to remember the world's poorest and most marginalized people.

Oh, right. As if all these billionaires are going to remember the world's poorest and most marginalized people. 'Don't have a go at the billionaires, boss.' Why not?! Listen, son, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a multi-millionaire. I aim to be one myself. But who on earth needs to be a billionaire, let alone a multi-billionaire?! 'Hang on! These guys own businesses and create millions of jobs.' Oh, of course they do. Go and work in an Amazon warehouse, Voice, and then get back to me. FFS! The only good billionaire is Elon Musk. 'Yeah? Why?' Two reasons. Firstly, he wants to save the world with his electric cars and solar panels and shit. Secondly, he wants to escape this godforsaken planet in one of his rockets. 'Oh.' And I'm hoping he'll take me with him. / Anyway ...

"International collaboration and economic development will only be successful if it takes into account the needs and realities of the millions of rural people who are besieged with hunger, poverty and the shocks of climate change," said IFAD President Gilbert F. Houngbo prior to joining the high-level discussions in Switzerland. "Their reality has to be taken into account as leaders work to address the multitude of economic challenges on the global agenda."

"The fact that 815 million people go hungry today is not about global production levels, but rather a matter of poverty and inequality, of conflict, and the exclusion of small-scale producers from larger food systems," Houngbo added. "Many of the world's poor live in rural areas, and most of them are engaged in small-scale farming. As drivers of economic growth, food security and environmental preservation, they have the potential to transform the future. But they cannot do it alone."


Okay. Thanks, Gilbert.

...

Anything else? Well, I've been reading a good book about David Bowie by Dylan Jones. He chose the easy way to write it, but it's still good. 'What's the easy way, Mikey?' Just doing interviews, man, and putting them straight in the book. So it's just a load of talking voices. 'Oh.' It's a bit lazy, but I don't mind. 'Dylan Jones is probably a very busy man.' Yeah, probably. / Actually, the book is a decent reminder of how tough the music business is, even for superstars. And that's why I'm taking my time with my new demo. Greatness or nothing!

Laters.

Monday 22 January 2018

[No. 580] Voice

My voice?

And ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[1], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[2], and that's not me, FFS![1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[2], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[1], and that's not me, FFS![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[1], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[2], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[2], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[1], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[2], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[1], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![1], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[2], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![2], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[1], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[2], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![1], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[2], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![1], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![2], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![2], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[1], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[1], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[2], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[1], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[2], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[1], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[2], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[1], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[2], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![1], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[2], and ... what a fate![1], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![2], and, Jesus, save us![1], and ... what a fate![2], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[3], and, Jesus, save us![2], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[3], and that's not me, FFS![3], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[3], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[3], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[3], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![3], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[3], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[3], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![3], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![3], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[3], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[3], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[3], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[3], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[3], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![3], and ... what a fate![3], and, Jesus, save us![3], and

And ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[1], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[2], and that's not me, FFS![1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[2], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[1], and that's not me, FFS![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[1], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[2], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[2], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[1], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[2], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[1], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![1], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[2], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![2], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[1], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[2], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![1], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[2], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![1], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![2], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![2], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[1], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[1], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[2], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[1], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[2], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[1], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[2], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[1], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[2], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![1], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[2], and ... what a fate![1], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![2], and, Jesus, save us![1], and ... what a fate![2], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[3], and, Jesus, save us![2], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[3], and that's not me, FFS![3], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[3], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[3], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[3], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![3], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[3], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[3], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![3], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![3], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[3], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[3], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[3], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[3], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[3], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![3], and ... what a fate![3], and, Jesus, save us![3], and

And ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[1], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[2], and that's not me, FFS![1], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[2], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[1], and that's not me, FFS![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[1], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[2], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[2], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[1], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[2], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[1], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![1], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[2], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![2], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[1], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[2], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![1], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[2], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![1], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![2], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[1], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![2], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[1], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[2], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[1], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[2], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[1], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[2], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[1], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[2], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[1], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[2], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![1], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[2], and ... what a fate![1], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![2], and, Jesus, save us![1], and ... what a fate![2], and ... 'Yes, I'm your voice, Mikey'[3], and, Jesus, save us![2], and it's not me, uh, that, kook(s) / and this ... is me! / and 'Yes, this ... is me'[3], and that's not me, FFS![3], and what is, uh ... me? Let's be honest[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... to find myself, and lose the idiot[3], and ... 'I'm not an idiot!'[3], and all of us, our consciousness nesses ... are a fucking mess of voices and words, yes, we must be honest[3], and I'm praying for a miracle, me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and, yes, we are spinners, and sinners![3], and I'm so optimistic I must be insane[3], and ... 'One day, we'll get beyond the THREE, boss, one day, yes, oh, pray, one day, YES!'[3], and, ha! ... that bloody THREE, oh, beyond![3], and I'm not so sure / and, I mean ... how many conceptuals does it take, for the love of Christ?![3], and I'll get clean, and you'll get clean, kook(s), and the Voice will die, yes, yes, yes ...[3], and ... 'I'll never die, not I!'[3], and he'll die, don't worry about that, and we can't suffer with him/it forever, surely?[3], and ... 'Ha! You have no understanding of the deeper mysteries, Mikey, trust me'[3], and why would I trust a disembodied voice, seriously?[3], and never, never, never, never, never ... mind, kook(s), eh?[3], and if we're being honest ... voices will be the only thing left, one day, ah, voices in the wind![3], and ... what a fate![3], and, Jesus, save us![3], and

Stage Capital is selling STI Group

Or has sold it. 'These things take time, boss. It's not like selling a pair of jeans in a shop. There's lots of paperwork and that.' Yeah, well, it's not my problem, Voice. I once sold a saxophone. This stupid kid came without the right money, but I wanted to get rid of the saxophone, so I let him have it. 'Oh.' Yeah, and another time I sold a guitar, and the guy wanted to give me a cheque. 'Ha! What did you say?' I said, Give me cash, man! 'Ha! Nice one!' / Anyway ...

Stage Capital ("Stage"), the private equity and real estate investor backed by funds managed by Goldman Sachs Asset Management and Glendower Capital (previously Deutsche Bank Private Equity), is pleased to announce the signing of the sale of STI Group to a consortium of private equity firms Merieux Developpement and GIMV.

STI?! Doesn't that sound a bit dodgy? 'It does a bit, boss.' Yeah, but it's their funeral, ain't it? What do we care?

Oh, by the way, dear reader(s), I'm listening to Gordon Lightfoot's The Complete Greatest Hits. Twenty songs, but I only recognize three of them: Early Morning Rain, Sundown, and the awesome If You Could Read My Mind. He's obviously very talented, but ... 'What's your point, boss?' My point, muppet, is that I already have eight songs which could be genuine greatest hits, you dig? 'Good for you!' I know it's good for me. That's what I'm saying, idiot! And that's why I'm not worried about my age in our youth-obsessed society. 'Record them then!' I will. When I'm ready, clown! / Anyway ...

STI Group is a fast-growing developer and manufacturer of plastic medical devices for the healthcare industry. Stage has sold its 92.5% stake in the business, having transformed a diversified moulding company acquired in 2013 into a pure-play medical devices business that is very well positioned to become a key player in the connected devices market.

Healthcare?! Does that mean they know then? 'Maybe.' Bloody strange! / Let's hear from Graham Thomas -

Graham Thomas, CEO of Stage, commented: "We are very pleased with this latest exit, which again demonstrates that we are well placed to deliver leading market returns for our investors. We are focused on developing our business in those areas and geographies where we have proven expertise, track record and are highly differentiated from the pack."

Yeah, I bet they're pleased. 'Ha!' FFS!

...

Right. Anything else? Yeah. I was flicking through a book of Beatles lyrics yesterday. Amazingly, between 1963 and 1965, every song they wrote BUT ONE was about love, sex, relationships, etc. (Not STIs though.) 'Okay. Which one?' Guess. 'I can't. Tell us, Mikey!' Nowhere Man. 'What was that about?' It was about being nowhere, son, lost, and alienated, I suppose. 'Oh.' Then in 1966 they started writing about all kinds of stuff ... yellow submarines, taxmen, spinsters, tomorrows never knowing, etc.

Oh, and The Beatles had about sixty songs which could legitimately be greatest hits. [I don't mean every song was a hit. I'm saying that they're distinctive, great songs. Compare them to the songs of other artists, man! As an example, I would say The Cure only have six. Bob Dylan is a problem though. He has loads of great songs which sound nothing like hits. Maybe the word "hits" is misleading. Ah, never mind.]

Okay. Laters.

Thursday 18 January 2018

Gold vs Bitcoin

Fight!

As Harry Hill would say.

Oh, this ain't an endorsement, by the way, dear reader(s), but this is an interesting email from The Pure Gold Company ...

The Pure Gold Company has seen a 42% increase in first time investors purchasing gold so far this month compared to the same period in 2017, as renewed concerns over a possible crypto currency crash, geopolitical tensions and uncertainty over Brexit prompt safe-haven sales.

Well, well ... / A lot of people are worried now that Bitcoin is a bubble. 'Ha! What about Mikeycoin, boss?' Mikeycoin is very safe, Voice. I email these little pictures of Mikeycoins to people, and they print them out, and then they spend them - what can go wrong? 'Er ...' Exactly! / Okay. Let's hear from Josh Saul -

Josh Saul, CEO of the investment firm said: "In addition to these underlying worries, the collapse of Carillion this week has impelled financial services professionals to buy gold in greater numbers too. We've seen a 69% rise in sales to people in finance citing fresh concerns over systemic risks caused by the collapse of the UK construction giant. More specifically, sales to investment bankers have risen 32% this week amid fears that businesses connected to Carillion, especially the banks, could be affected by the large amount of debt that is unlikely to be repaid."

Okay, okay. And there's Carillion, and Brexit, as well. 'We shouldn't forget Brexit, boss.' I'll never forget it, man.

One thing though: I remember a few years ago, there were certain journalists who were always against gold and writing articles about it, but then - 'They suddenly switched their attention to Bitcoin.' Yes, thank you, Voice. Be quiet, please. They obviously saw Bitcoin as the bigger threat. So maybe Bitcoin wins any fight with gold. 'A threat to what, boss?!' Ah, a threat, man, to ... the interests in this world that they're protecting. 'Oh, I see.' Yes. Open your eyes, reader(s)! 'Open your ears, too!' Whatever.

Of course, personally, I don't care about gold, Bitcoin, diamonds, hard cash, or anything much in the material world BECAUSE(!!!) ... I'm above it all, you dig? 'Nice one!' Yeah, I'm just saying, for the benefit of people who may be interested in the way the world is. The corruption, the lies, the utter nonsense ...

BUT LET'S NOT DEPRESS OURSELVES!!! It's the end of another week, blog fans(s)!

Laters!

Wednesday 17 January 2018

[No. 579] Constant improvement!

Yes, I'm getting better at spinning.

And a-ROUND we go - !!![1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[1], and a-ROUND we go - !!![2], and no SQUARES, thank you[1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[2], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[1], and no SQUARES, thank you[2], and I want commitment![1], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[1], and I want commitment![2], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[2], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[1], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[2], and No. 579 and counting ...[1], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[2], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[1], and No. 579 and counting ...[2], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[1], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[2], and you're getting better, don't you think?[1], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[2], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[1], and you're getting better, don't you think?[2], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[1], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[2], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[1], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[2], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[1], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[2], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[1], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[2], and, well ... ha![1], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[2], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[1], and, well ... ha![2], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[1], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[2], and ... uh![1], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[1], and ... uh![2], and it can be a struggle, obviously[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[2], and a-ROUND we go - !!![3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[2], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[3], and no SQUARES, thank you[3], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[3], and I want commitment![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[3], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[3], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[3], and No. 579 and counting ...[3], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[3], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[3], and you're getting better, don't you think?[3], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[3], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[3], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[3], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[3], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[3], and, well ... ha![3], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[3], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[3], and ... uh![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[3], and

And a-ROUND we go - !!![1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[1], and a-ROUND we go - !!![2], and no SQUARES, thank you[1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[2], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[1], and no SQUARES, thank you[2], and I want commitment![1], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[1], and I want commitment![2], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[2], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[1], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[2], and No. 579 and counting ...[1], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[2], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[1], and No. 579 and counting ...[2], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[1], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[2], and you're getting better, don't you think?[1], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[2], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[1], and you're getting better, don't you think?[2], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[1], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[2], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[1], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[2], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[1], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[2], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[1], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[2], and, well ... ha![1], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[2], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[1], and, well ... ha![2], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[1], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[2], and ... uh![1], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[1], and ... uh![2], and it can be a struggle, obviously[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[2], and a-ROUND we go - !!![3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[2], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[3], and no SQUARES, thank you[3], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[3], and I want commitment![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[3], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[3], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[3], and No. 579 and counting ...[3], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[3], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[3], and you're getting better, don't you think?[3], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[3], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[3], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[3], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[3], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[3], and, well ... ha![3], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[3], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[3], and ... uh![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[3], and

And a-ROUND we go - !!![1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[1], and a-ROUND we go - !!![2], and no SQUARES, thank you[1], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[2], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[1], and no SQUARES, thank you[2], and I want commitment![1], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[2], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[1], and I want commitment![2], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[1], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[2], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[1], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[2], and No. 579 and counting ...[1], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[2], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[1], and No. 579 and counting ...[2], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[1], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[2], and you're getting better, don't you think?[1], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[2], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[1], and you're getting better, don't you think?[2], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[1], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[2], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[1], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[2], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[1], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[2], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[1], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[2], and, well ... ha![1], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[2], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[1], and, well ... ha![2], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[1], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[2], and ... uh![1], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[1], and ... uh![2], and it can be a struggle, obviously[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[2], and a-ROUND we go - !!![3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[2], and, yes, I presume you're coming with me / and it's not as if you've got anything else to do, is it?[3], and no SQUARES, thank you[3], and, spinner(s), if you're not an actual kook ... fake it until you make it, you dig?[3], and I want commitment![3], and, yes ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and, oh, uh, using our minds, our souls ...[3], and it's not as easy as it feels ...[3], and words are a disease, we all know that, but try to look on the bright side ...[3], and No. 579 and counting ...[3], and ... 'Where's the bright side, Mikey?' / and don't make trouble, Voice, please[3], and you're so DIZZY(!), yes[3], and you're getting better, don't you think?[3], and, actually, thoughts won't help YOU(!) when you should be feeling, you dig?[3], and, by the way, how do you, uh, feel, right now?[3], and thoughts, feelings, all jumbled ... okay[3], and if there's chaos for you, I'll try my best to order it - no promises though[3], and ... 'And how the fuck will you do that?!'[3], and, well ... ha![3], and life beyond the THREE will solve a lot of problems for us, I should hope or imagine[3], and ... 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' / and don't be like that, Voice / and, Christ! ... the negativity[3], and ... uh![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... well, what else? / and I mean ...[3], and it can be a struggle, obviously[3], and

Uh ... Coutts

Yes, it's those awful Coutts again. But I'll tell you the truth, dear reader(s), I don't mind them so much now. 'They're all right, boss. They send some good emails.' Yes, Voice. Like this one that came yesterday about challenges and opportunities for 2018 ...

Global Growth - We think the global manufacturing cycle is peaking about now, which raises the question: what next for the world economy and where to find value for investors. With robust consumer and investment demand, low inflation and accommodative monetary policy in most countries, we are expecting the looming slowdown to be gradual, with world growth as a whole still firm through 2018. With company earnings in the major markets likely to continue rising and no sign of US recession on the horizon, we continue to have confidence in equities, with a bias towards those regions where we see the growth cycle persisting for longer, like Europe and Japan.

But can things grow forever? That's the question. 'Fingernails do, boss.' What?! 'I've noticed you always keep your fingernails short, to play your guitar, like.' So?! 'Well, they keep growing, man, don't they?' What the hell have my fingernails got to do with the world economy?! 'Well ... probably not much.' Idiot!!!

Inflation - In our search for inflation-beating returns we favour segments of higher-yielding bonds, like financial credit (yielding over 5%) and emerging market debt, and equities, where dividend yields are solid (4.2% for the UK's FTSE 100) and earnings are growing.

Okay. Fair enough. Or maybe not fair enough. I still don't think we're hearing the whole truth about inflation. They say it's three per cent. More like ten, if you ask me.

Japan - Our view is that Japan's prospects are normalizing and that the outlook for Japanese equities is positive. In our view, corporate balance sheets are healthy and equity valuations look attractive compared to other major markets.

Okay. Well, I've read in that Tony Robbins book I've got - Awaken The Giant Within - that the Japanese go in for constant and never-ending improvement. It's something that W. Edwards Deming taught them after the Second World War. It's why they're always going to come good.

Equity Valuations - Many traditional measures used to value equities indicate that valuations are on the high side, with some in the US more than double their historical norms. Since high valuations are associated with lower future returns, this underscores the importance of identifying areas of the market that are undervalued by investors, consistent with our investment beliefs. Our analysis indicates that these areas can be found - as reflected in our regional themes (e.g. Europe and Japan) and sectoral choices (technology and healthcare).

Well, whatever.

Emerging Markets - We see two factors influencing emerging market performance in 2018: The strength of global economic growth-manufacturing exporters in East Asia and commodity producers like Brazil and South Africa do well when global growth is strong. Also, the direction of US interest rates and the dollar - faster rate rises than currently expected would lead to a rising US dollar, a headwinds for emerging market bonds and equities. Our analysis suggests that global growth and trade will be steady in the next year, that US interest rates are not likely to rise unexpectedly, and that investors in emerging markets should not be put off by the usual political complexities.

Okay, okay. / Now, dear reader(s), Mohammad Syed continues with some stuff, but I don't think we need it. 'Why not, boss?' Well, it's just As long-term investors we ... 'Oh.' We've got the basics. I can't be copying and pasting everything these characters say because ... 'Because?' Because I got a conceptual to write! 'Yippee!' After lunch, of course. 'What are you having?' A luxury egg sandwich, probably.

Laters, then.