Thursday, 12 December 2019

Music, I suppose

It's the last post of the week, kook(s). It's nearly Christmas.

Listen! My acoustic guitar strings are knackered, man. I've had them on for over seven hundred hours. I've been putting off changing them because they're expensive and you only get a decent forty or fifty hours playing time out of them - when you want to record, like. And I don't know when I'll want to record next ... / Uh. Maybe this weekend. Maybe not. I know I said before Christmas, BUT(!) ... I just don't know, you dig? Ah, never mind.

Anyway ... I'll put some tunes on!

Here I Am (Come and Take Me). Al Green. / Yeah. I won't always be here though.

To Turn You On. Roxy Music. / All of Avalon should really only be listened to at night.

It Ain't Me Babe. Bob Dylan. / Red pill.

Have I Told You Lately. Van Morrison. / Blue pill.

Cleaning Windows. Van Morrison. / Showing George Formby how it's done.

Red Hill Mining Town. U2. / A great song. Not as well-known as others from The Joshua Tree.

We Are The Dead. David Bowie. / One of those great Bowie songs only fans know about.

Rainy Days and Mondays. Carpenters. / Oh, it's Thursday, but it's raining, so ...

We're Not Gonna Take It. The Who. / Acton's finest. So far, anyway.

That's enough.

...

Anything else, before I go? Well ... I'm tired. ['Tired of blogging, tired of life, ha!'] I want a week off. I will get a week off, after next week. Then ... I'll be back, for another year? I don't know, man. I've burnt off all the bad karma as far as I'm concerned.

I Shall Be Released. The Band. / Just one more, yes!

I shall be released! I truly believe that, kook(s). I've served my time. And Malibu beckons ...

Laters!

Investors go green

And I ain't got a problem with it, dear reader(s). Investors can invest in anything they like. It's their money. Personally, I would be putting my money into Elon's rockets, but ... each to their own, you dig? I mean, I'm not sure planet earth can be saved now. We need to find a new planet to fuck up. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway ...

Renewable energy has become the top investment sector for UK investors with almost a third of investors (30%) regarding it as the sector they would actively put their money into for long term gain.

Oh, gain. / So ... 'What's this, boss?' PR email, Voice. 'Yeah, from who?' Hang on ... GraniteShares, whoever they are. No endorsement, obviously. 'Ha!' Ha! Exactly! I'm not qualified to endorse anything financial. 'But you're the world's foremost financial shaman!' Yes. And that means I'm on the mystical side of things. Dear reader(s), listen! ... I will take a look at your aura or your chakras if you want me to. 'But you don't do that no more!' No. No. Maybe Keith Busby then. 'What is Keith Busby doing these days?' I don't know. He might be dead. 'But that won't stop him!' Of course it won't!

Anyway ...

With U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Gutterres warning that climate change is about to reach a point of no return - and with Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage empty-chaired for Channel 4's recent climate change debate - new research from GraniteShares suggests the green agenda is gripping the UK investor community. Renewable energy is now a top investment choice for investors of all ages; it is equally popular with men (29%) and women (31%) and it also transcends investment philosophy. For example, active traders, those that are simply looking to make an opportune gain, place as much emphasis on renewables as those investors that act with a specific ethical investment philosophy (33% and 36% respectively).

Okay, okay. I suppose gain's all right then. / This email is rather big, man. 'Maybe too big, boss.' That's what I'm thinking, Voice. 'Maybe you should go straight to the voice, boss.' That's what I'm thinking, Voice. Er, the GraniteShares voice, dear reader(s), not him. 'Ha!' / Here it is - !!!

Will Rhind, Founder and CEO at GraniteShares comments: "Despite the context of unprecedented market uncertainty in the UK at the moment, it is positive to see so many investors taking conviction views for the year ahead. The rising popularity of tech brands we expect to continue and the focus on renewable energy reflects concern over one of the biggest issues that the planet faces today."

Coming through loud and clear. 'Lovely!' Yes. / More - !!!

"At a time when it has become statistically harder and harder to actually make money in the markets and outperform, more investors are looking at new sectors and also individual brands when it comes to investment planning. For many sophisticated investors, there is also a serious opportunity to balance the long-term with the short-term. GraniteShares' new platform of short and leveraged single stock daily ETPs, for the first time, enables sophisticated investors to take positions on both rising and falling share prices and to express very focused views, both long and short, on popular UK single stocks through ETPs."

Yeah, yeah. As I say ... no endorsement, and absolutely no investment advice. However, rockets are nice. Maybe you can build your own rocket in your back garden, dear reader(s) ... ? I was going to do that once. 'When, boss?' When I was a kid, with my mates. 'Tell us more!' Well, okay ... we had the bright idea of bolting six or seven metal dustbins together, and filling the bottom dustbin with gunpowder from fireworks. 'Right.' Then we were going to sit in the other dustbins, one for each of us, and then head for the moon. 'But that's bloody crazy!!!' Yeah, we were kids. Don't get upset about it.

Christ.

ENDS - !!!

...

Anything else? Not really, no. I'll be writing another post this afternoon.

Laters!

Tuesday, 10 December 2019

[No. 763] Get up before you go to bed

If that makes any sense.

And it makes no sense, man![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[1], and it makes no sense, man![2], and there's no time to waste, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[2], and, well ...[1], and there's no time to waste, no![2], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[1], and, well ...[2], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[1], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[2], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![1], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[2], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[1], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![2], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[1], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[2], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[1], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[2], and, but, but ...[1], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[2], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[1], and, but, but ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![1], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[2], and what do you dream of, most?[1], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![2], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[1], and what do you dream of, most?[2], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![1], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[2], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![1], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![2], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[1], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![2], and ... tell me![1], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[2], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[1], and ... tell me![2], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[2], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[1], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I never want to sleep again![1], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[2], and believe me![1], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I nev er w ant t o sl eep ag ain![2], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[1], and believe me![2], and you know that's true[1], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[2], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[1], and you know that's true[2], and ... come on![1], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[2], and it makes no sense, man![3], and ... come on![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[3], and there's no time to waste, no![3], and, well ...[3], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[3], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[3], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![3], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[3], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[3], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[3], and, but, but ...[3], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[3], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![3], and what do you dream of, most?[3], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[3], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![3], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![3], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[3], and ... tell me![3], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[3], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[3], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I n  e  v  e  r w  a  n  t t  o s  l  e  e  p a  g  a  i  n![3], and believe me![3], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[3], and you know that's true[3], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[3], and ... come on![3], and

And it makes no sense, man![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[1], and it makes no sense, man![2], and there's no time to waste, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[2], and, well ...[1], and there's no time to waste, no![2], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[1], and, well ...[2], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[1], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[2], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![1], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[2], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[1], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![2], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[1], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[2], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[1], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[2], and, but, but ...[1], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[2], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[1], and, but, but ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![1], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[2], and what do you dream of, most?[1], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![2], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[1], and what do you dream of, most?[2], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![1], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[2], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![1], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![2], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[1], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![2], and ... tell me![1], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[2], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[1], and ... tell me![2], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[2], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[1], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I never want to sleep again![1], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[2], and believe me![1], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I nev er w ant t o sl eep ag ain![2], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[1], and believe me![2], and you know that's true[1], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[2], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[1], and you know that's true[2], and ... come on![1], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[2], and it makes no sense, man![3], and ... come on![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[3], and there's no time to waste, no![3], and, well ...[3], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[3], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[3], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![3], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[3], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[3], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[3], and, but, but ...[3], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[3], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![3], and what do you dream of, most?[3], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[3], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![3], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![3], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[3], and ... tell me![3], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[3], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[3], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I n  e  v  e  r w  a  n  t t  o s  l  e  e  p a  g  a  i  n![3], and believe me![3], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[3], and you know that's true[3], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[3], and ... come on![3], and

And it makes no sense, man![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[1], and it makes no sense, man![2], and there's no time to waste, no![1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[2], and, well ...[1], and there's no time to waste, no![2], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[1], and, well ...[2], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[1], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[2], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![1], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[2], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[1], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![2], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[1], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[2], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[1], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[2], and, but, but ...[1], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[2], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[1], and, but, but ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![1], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[2], and what do you dream of, most?[1], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![2], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[1], and what do you dream of, most?[2], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![1], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[2], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![1], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![2], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[1], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![2], and ... tell me![1], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[2], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[1], and ... tell me![2], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[2], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[1], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![2], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I never want to sleep again![1], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[2], and believe me![1], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I nev er w ant t o sl eep ag ain![2], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[1], and believe me![2], and you know that's true[1], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[2], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[1], and you know that's true[2], and ... come on![1], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[2], and it makes no sense, man![3], and ... come on![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we don't care about sense a-ROUND here, do we?[3], and there's no time to waste, no![3], and, well ...[3], and it's a rainy day, actually, yes, yes, yes / and maybe we should rest a bit ... ?[3], and I'm listening to Songs From A Room while I'm spinning with this[3], and, uh ... I fell asleep after lunch ... oh, just for fifteen minutes or so - so, so, don't worry![3], and ... 'Shame, Mikey!'[3], and I'm not letting them down, Voice ... all the hard-working souls of that world, BUT(!) ...[3], and a bunch of mugs, anyway[3], and, but, but ...[3], and ... we have our own world, don't we?[3], and a-ROUND here ... every day can be Christmas - if we want it![3], and what do you dream of, most?[3], and, listen! ... I'm thinking of Polperro now ... / and was it only five months ago?[3], and with Cohen singing in my ears ... where else?![3], and, Christ! ... was it only twenty-nine years ago?![3], and ... am I confused? / and, you, you ... YOU(!)?[3], and ... tell me![3], and, well, yes ... I get so confused / and holidays all merge into one ... in my mind, my soul[3], and maybe ... I don't get enough sleep ... ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... shall I close my eyes?[3], and, kook(s) ... I'll tell you the amazing truth: I n  e  v  e  r w  a  n  t t  o s  l  e  e  p a  g  a  i  n![3], and believe me![3], and fighting the cold world's horrors is a twenty-four hour affair, baby, seven days a week[3], and you know that's true[3], and I'm a-ROUND here ... with my eyes wide open, so why don't you join me, fully awake?[3], and ... come on![3], and

Property ladder nightmare

Christ! Why do people bother? / PR email, dear reader(s) ...

New research reveals that 14% of homeowners claim that in order to get their first step on the property ladder, they have had to take on two jobs at the same time. The new findings, which are from Engen Group, the UK based innovation and property business which focuses on addressing environmental challenges such as affordable and sustainable housing, also reveals that 16% have borrowed money from family members in order to buy their first home.

It's beyond a joke! 'It is.' Of course it is! / Having said that ... I will get my big house in Malibu, and without a mortgage. 'How, boss? How?!' Ha! Where there's a will there's a way, my little invisible friend.

Other measures taken include selling valuable items (7% of homeowners claim they have done this) and some 306,000 say they had to stay in a relationship for the sole purpose of being able to buy a property.

They had to stay in a relationship?! Seriously?! Man, there is absolutely no point in owning your own home if you're sharing it with someone you don't want to be with. 'The world has gone insane, boss.' People are just crazy about property, Voice.

Overall, Engen Group's research found that for those people not living in a family member's home, 57% claim to make sacrifices to help pay for their housing costs. Four out of ten (43%) say they go out/eat out less because of this, but 4% claim they have also cut back on buying medicine and medical treatment.

Medicine?! Talk about grim. 'This is grim.' Yeah. / Let's hear from Graeme ...

Graeme Boiardini, CEO of Engen Group said: "Getting a first step on the property ladder is a dream for many, but our research shows the sacrifices people have to make to achieve this. Also, once they are on it, many clearly continue to make sacrifices to pay for their housing costs. As the population increases, the need for affordable and sustainable housing has never been greater."

There's no solution to this ... ? 'Build more council houses!' I can't see more of those being built, man.

Uh. Actually, there is a solution, my solution, BUT(!) ... I doubt that people will want to hear it, really. I mean ... 'Tell them, boss! It might help.' Well, okay ... Get rich or die tryin', you dig? 'Yeah, that's helpful. That's so helpful.' Ha! There's nothing else I can say, is there? It's just the way things are now.

[My grandfather was able to buy a five-bedroom house in London on a working-class wage. Union job. Newspaper printing in Fleet Street. Ah, different times, my friend(s)!]

...

Anything else? I woke up at half four this morning - oh, by accident - like a Navy SEAL. Yeah, I'm nuts, but so what, man? I enjoy getting four or five hours of really heavy sleep at night, but after that ... I just want to rock and roll, you dig?

So ... my music? I've decided that Good Times is a bread-and-butter classic (first class). That's fine. It's a really commercial song, and it would sound awesome in a stadium. Combined with all my other songs, well ... the album is just going to be mental, frankly.

Let the good times roll!

YES - !!!

Later(s), alligator(s)!

Monday, 9 December 2019

[No. 762] Good times are all in the mind

Only in the mind.

And, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[1], and, so ...[2], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and ... no - !!![1], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[2], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[1], and ... no - !!![2], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[1], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[2], and, obviously[1], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[2], and ... ... ... yes - !!![1], and, obviously[2], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![1], and ... ... ... yes - !!![2], and I look out of the window, yes[1], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![2], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[1], and I look out of the window, yes[2], and, uh ... yes?[1], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[2], and I know ... there are people, lunatics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[1], and, uh ... yes?[2], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[1], and I know ... there are people, lun atics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[2], and you can be a great warrior or a pathetic victim / and reality is yours to play with[1], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[2], and I know what I am, well, these days[1], and you can be a g reat war ior or a pat hetic vic tim / and reality is yours to play with[2], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[1], and I know what I am, well, these days[2], and demons will suck you in ...[1], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[2], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a safe space for you to feel free in - if you want it[1], and de mons will suck you in ...[2], and I made it for all the kooks[1], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a sa fe spa ce fo r y ou to feel free in - if you want it[2], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as solid as the squares would have you believe[1], and I made it for all the kooks[2], and ... are you listening?[1], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as so lid as the squares would have you believe[2], and they know something, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious nothing[1], and ... are you listening?[2], and I whisper now ...[1], and they know somet hing, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious not hing[2], and you can be free[1], and I whisper now ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[1], and you can be free[2], and you can be happy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[2], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[1], and you can be happy[2], and ... ... ... my reality is yours!!![1], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[2], and, so ...[3], and ... ... ... m y rea lity i s yo urs!!![2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[3], and ... no - !!![3], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[3], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[3], and, obviously[3], and ... ... ... yes - !!![3], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![3], and I look out of the window, yes[3], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[3], and, uh ... yes?[3], and I know ... there are people, l  u  n  a  t  i  c  s, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[3], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[3], and you can be a g  r  e  a  t w  a  r  r  i  o  r or a p  a  t  h  e  t  i  c v  i  c  t  i  m / and reality is yours to play with[3], and I know what I am, well, these days[3], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[3], and d  e  m  o  n  s will suck you in ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a s  a  f  e s  p  a  c  e f  o  r y  o  u to feel free in - if you want it[3], and I made it for all the kooks[3], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as s  o  l  i  d as the squares would have you believe[3], and ... are you listening?[3], and they know s  o  m  e  t  h  i  n  g, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious n  o  t  h  i  n  g[3], and I whisper now ...[3], and you can be free[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[3], and you can be happy[3], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[3], and ... ... ... m  y r  e  a  l  i  t  y i  s y  o  u  r  s!!![3], and

And, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[1], and, so ...[2], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and ... no - !!![1], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[2], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[1], and ... no - !!![2], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[1], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[2], and, obviously[1], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[2], and ... ... ... yes - !!![1], and, obviously[2], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![1], and ... ... ... yes - !!![2], and I look out of the window, yes[1], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![2], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[1], and I look out of the window, yes[2], and, uh ... yes?[1], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[2], and I know ... there are people, lunatics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[1], and, uh ... yes?[2], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[1], and I know ... there are people, lun atics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[2], and you can be a great warrior or a pathetic victim / and reality is yours to play with[1], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[2], and I know what I am, well, these days[1], and you can be a g reat war ior or a pat hetic vic tim / and reality is yours to play with[2], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[1], and I know what I am, well, these days[2], and demons will suck you in ...[1], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[2], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a safe space for you to feel free in - if you want it[1], and de mons will suck you in ...[2], and I made it for all the kooks[1], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a sa fe spa ce fo r y ou to feel free in - if you want it[2], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as solid as the squares would have you believe[1], and I made it for all the kooks[2], and ... are you listening?[1], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as so lid as the squares would have you believe[2], and they know something, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious nothing[1], and ... are you listening?[2], and I whisper now ...[1], and they know somet hing, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious not hing[2], and you can be free[1], and I whisper now ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[1], and you can be free[2], and you can be happy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[2], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[1], and you can be happy[2], and ... ... ... my reality is yours!!![1], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[2], and, so ...[3], and ... ... ... m y rea lity i s yo urs!!![2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[3], and ... no - !!![3], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[3], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[3], and, obviously[3], and ... ... ... yes - !!![3], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![3], and I look out of the window, yes[3], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[3], and, uh ... yes?[3], and I know ... there are people, l  u  n  a  t  i  c  s, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[3], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[3], and you can be a g  r  e  a  t w  a  r  r  i  o  r or a p  a  t  h  e  t  i  c v  i  c  t  i  m / and reality is yours to play with[3], and I know what I am, well, these days[3], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[3], and d  e  m  o  n  s will suck you in ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a s  a  f  e s  p  a  c  e f  o  r y  o  u to feel free in - if you want it[3], and I made it for all the kooks[3], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as s  o  l  i  d as the squares would have you believe[3], and ... are you listening?[3], and they know s  o  m  e  t  h  i  n  g, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious n  o  t  h  i  n  g[3], and I whisper now ...[3], and you can be free[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[3], and you can be happy[3], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[3], and ... ... ... m  y r  e  a  l  i  t  y i  s y  o  u  r  s!!![3], and

And, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[1], and, so ...[2], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[1], and, well, well, well ...[2], and ... no - !!![1], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[2], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[1], and ... no - !!![2], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[1], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[2], and, obviously[1], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[2], and ... ... ... yes - !!![1], and, obviously[2], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![1], and ... ... ... yes - !!![2], and I look out of the window, yes[1], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![2], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[1], and I look out of the window, yes[2], and, uh ... yes?[1], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[2], and I know ... there are people, lunatics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[1], and, uh ... yes?[2], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[1], and I know ... there are people, lun atics, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[2], and you can be a great warrior or a pathetic victim / and reality is yours to play with[1], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[2], and I know what I am, well, these days[1], and you can be a g reat war ior or a pat hetic vic tim / and reality is yours to play with[2], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[1], and I know what I am, well, these days[2], and demons will suck you in ...[1], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[2], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a safe space for you to feel free in - if you want it[1], and de mons will suck you in ...[2], and I made it for all the kooks[1], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a sa fe spa ce fo r y ou to feel free in - if you want it[2], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as solid as the squares would have you believe[1], and I made it for all the kooks[2], and ... are you listening?[1], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as so lid as the squares would have you believe[2], and they know something, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious nothing[1], and ... are you listening?[2], and I whisper now ...[1], and they know somet hing, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious not hing[2], and you can be free[1], and I whisper now ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[1], and you can be free[2], and you can be happy[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[2], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[1], and you can be happy[2], and ... ... ... my reality is yours!!![1], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[2], and, so ...[3], and ... ... ... m y rea lity i s yo urs!!![2], and, well, well, well ...[3], and, uh ... not in that COLD WORLD, no, no, no ...[3], and ... no - !!![3], and, but ... fortunately! ... ... ...[3], and we've got our own world a-ROUND here ... / ... and reality is what I make it, yes, yes, yes[3], and, obviously[3], and ... ... ... yes - !!![3], and bad times ... ah, man, they're everywhere, you dig? / and we want none of that shit![3], and I look out of the window, yes[3], and I see that the sun is ... shining, yes, for me, for me, oh, for ... you?[3], and, uh ... yes?[3], and I know ... there are people, l  u  n  a  t  i  c  s, who can magic bad times out of the sunniest days[3], and are YOU(!) ... one of them?[3], and you can be a g  r  e  a  t w  a  r  r  i  o  r or a p  a  t  h  e  t  i  c v  i  c  t  i  m / and reality is yours to play with[3], and I know what I am, well, these days[3], and it takes strength to ignore the COLD WORLD and all of its nonsense[3], and d  e  m  o  n  s will suck you in ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... oh, there is a s  a  f  e s  p  a  c  e f  o  r y  o  u to feel free in - if you want it[3], and I made it for all the kooks[3], and reality is a funny thing, man ... / ... and it's not as s  o  l  i  d as the squares would have you believe[3], and ... are you listening?[3], and they know s  o  m  e  t  h  i  n  g, those squares, ha! ... not my glorious n  o  t  h  i  n  g[3], and I whisper now ...[3], and you can be free[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... at any times of eternity[3], and you can be happy[3], and let yourself fall into a brand new world[3], and ... ... ... m  y r  e  a  l  i  t  y i  s y  o  u  r  s!!![3], and

Prizes - !!! Yippee - !!!

Well, well ... / Who's won prizes? 'And what did they win, boss?' Let's find out, Voice! -

Scope Investment Awards 2019: prize winners include Fidelity, Comgest and Allianz.

Okay, okay. Congratulations to those firms. 'What did they win, boss?' I have no idea. Maybe a car. Or a holiday. Or a set of steak knives. Let's find out! -

Rating agency Scope and media partner Handelsblatt honoured the asset management industry's outstanding fund managers and most innovative products at its 2019 Investment Awards ceremony in Frankfurt on 27 November.

Great! As I said ... congratulations to those firms. I'm sure they deserve it. 'Deserve what? We don't know what they won!' Be patient, Voice. FFS!

Fidelity, Comgest and Allianz were among the firms which scooped up some of the main awards decided by analysts from more than 4,500 funds and 280 asset managers. The Scope Awards are handed out each year by Scope Group, Europe’s leading provider of independent ratings, research and risk analysis.

Awards?! WTF - !!!

This year's awards ceremony took place at the Old Opera House in Frankfurt am Main in front of more than 250 guests. The Scope Investment Awards were presented in 12 fund and asset management categories for Germany, Austria and Switzerland.

Yeah, but, but ... 'Did they actually win anything, boss?' I don't know. I just ...

Fidelity wins best universal provider. Fidelity was named "Best Asset Manager, Complete Product Range" by Scope's analysts. Among institutional providers, the best Boutique Asset managers were Lupus Alpha for Germany, T. Rowe Price for Austria and Luzern Kantonalbank for Switzerland.

Christ! Not even a cuddly toy! 'Ha! You would have thought Scope could have afforded a few cuddly toys to hand out.' I know. It's shameful.

Comgest won the award for best asset manager in "Equity Funds" for a sixth year in a row. Fidelity and Degroof Petercam won two awards each across the 12 asset-manager categories. Fidelity received multiple awards in individual fund categories, including "Equities Germany" and "Equities Europe".

Yeah, well ... I'm sure these "awards" will keep them warm at night. 'Ha!' Unbelievable!

For the winner of the special category, "Fund Innovations," the Scope jury selected the "Allianz Pet and Animal Wellbeing" fund from Allianz Global Investors. The fund appealed to retail investors with its innovative and emotional approach, according to the analysts surveyed.

Fine. I mean ... I don't know. It's just disappointing, dear reader(s), you dig?

...

Anything else? Music? My music? Well ... I rewrote Good Times/Bad Times again(!!!) yesterday. I'm calling it Good Times, oh, not Bad Times, man, and it's a far more positive song - as, er, the new title suggests, yes. I dumped the pretty awkward and complex lyric I had. The words are very simple and repetitive now, but they work well with the tune. The song is also back to its original length of 4.15. It's a great song to finish an album with. But is it my sixth world-beater? Well, I don't know. It might be. [Give me time to meditate on it, pop fan(s). It's definitely my sixth best song, anyway.]

So, here's the album, kook(s) -

This World Don't Mean A Thing
Lucky You
Round The Bend
What's This Life We Live?
I Want Everything
Love Me
Stella
Malibu
I'm Right Inside
Nothing
Good Times


A bit over forty-six minutes, I reckon.

Oh, those vocal exercises have changed my talking voice, too. 'Me?!' No, not you, idiot!

...

Anything, uh ... more else? Well, I'm looking forward to Christmas, man. So, I think it might be time to break out the Phil Spector Christmas album. 'Yippee!' Obviously, yes.

Later(s), Christmas fan(s)!

Thursday, 5 December 2019

I've just been for a walk

Yeah. Another one. Hammersmith and Chiswick. Now I'm doing this. The last post of the week. About music, I suppose.

I'm eating a few chocolates and drinking coffee.

Anyway ... yeah, walking about. I'm getting a lot of young women looking at me these days, smiling and that. It's like being twenty-five again! But ... they're twenty-five, and I'm fifty. What's the explanation? 'Maybe they think you've got a good job, boss, and lots of money.' Ha, ha, ha! Delusional - !!! / No, it must be my maturity, confidence, and all-round demeanour. 'Probably.' Yeah.

Anyway ... I will have a good job next year. I'll be a rock star - !!!

Right. Let's play some tunes ...

Sunshine Superman. Donovan. / Groovy! Donovan said he retired when he had nothing left to teach. Yeah, sure. Whatever! He wrote some great songs though.

Little Red Corvette. Prince. / I remember I first got into Prince when I bought the double A-side of this and 1999 ... back in 1984/85.

Fools Gold and What The World Is Waiting For. The Stone Roses. / Another classic double A-side. They looked unstoppable, for a while. However, even without the record company problems, Ian Brown's live vocals would have stopped them becoming as big as Oasis or The Beatles. [Thank God I discovered that vocal coach on YouTube!]

Yesterday. The Beatles. / Their first "world-beater" out of four. According to me, of course. Who else?!

I Don't Believe You (She Acts Like We Never Have Met). Bob Dylan. / Those red pill guys on YouTube are always knocking pop songs. Too blue pill! Maybe they should try listening to some Dylan.

You're A Big Girl Now. Bob Dylan. / Of course, Dylan could be very blue pill. Personally, it's all show business to me. Do you know what I mean?

Life isn't black and white. Or red and blue. Or ... grey. It's, uh ... multi-coloured ... ? But what do I know?

I Feel Love. Donna Summer. / Yeah. Sometimes I really feel it. The world is a cold place, man.

A Design For Life. Manic Street Preachers. / Very, very close to being a world-beater, but ... bread-and-butter classic (first class), if you ask me.

The Unforgettable Fire. U2. / Maybe a bit overblown, but I like it.

It Makes No Difference. The Band. / A lovely song. Melancholic as fuck though.

...

Well, well. Anyway ... have a nice weekend, kook(s)! (I might try recording.) Laters! 'Bye!'

What's so super about three Saturdays?

Just one of the questions I've got on my mind this morning ... 'What's this, boss?' Jinksy. 'Oh, him again. What does he want now?' He just wants to tell us about these, uh ... Super Saturdays, or something.

With Just Three 'Super Saturdays' Before Christmas This Year, ParcelHero Predicts a Christmas Crush.

Oh, okay. Tell us more!

For the first time since 2015 there are only three Saturdays in December before Christmas. 23% of Brits leave it until December to start shopping in store and online - leading to three hectic weekends, forecasts ParcelHero.

Well, none of it will be "hectic" for me, I'm glad to say.

The final Saturday before Christmas has become known as 'Super Saturday' as Christmas shopping, both in store and online, reaches a crescendo. A quirk of the calendar means that December 2019, for the first time in four years, has just three Saturdays rather than four, before Christmas. That will turn every remaining pre-Christmas Saturday into 'Super Saturdays' predicts the home delivery expert ParcelHero, as four Saturday shops are squeezed into three.

Christ! Tell us less! / Is he really excited about this stuff?

ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Our research reveals 23% of shoppers - and yes, to fit the stereotype, they are mainly men - still don't start any Christmas shopping until the calendar flips to December. With just three Saturdays to squeeze their present hunting in this year, many shoppers are going to be feverishly hitting High Streets and keypads over the next three weekends."

Ha! The only thing I'll be feverishly hitting is my guitar as I continue to rehearse my songs. 'Don't you like Christmas, boss?' Er, I'll be relaxing on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, Voice, but that's all.

Of course, the Aviva Investors mob will be feverishly hitting the booze from tomorrow night. I mean, that's when their Christmas party starts. 'But when does it end?' Ha! I don't know. Mid-January, I think. Although it would be fair to say that their whole lives are one big party at that firm. 'Have you been invited?' Me?! No, they don't invite me, man. 'Oh.' They know I'm a workaholic. 'They know you're no fun.' Shut up!

Anyway, Jinksy ... oh, I'm not doing all of this email. I'll let him conclude ...

Concludes David: "Visiting your local town centre for some seasonal shopping, a mince pie and a drink or two is part of the whole Christmas experience; but be warned, High Streets will be heaving at weekends. If you decide to buy online instead, remember that some major stores' deadlines for delivering before Christmas are as early as the 16th this year."

Yeah, yeah. Jinksy just wants everyone ordering parcels online. The man is obsessed. 'He's nuts, boss, let's be honest.' Ha! He's dedicated, Voice.

ENDS

...

Anything else, dear reader(s)? Well ... I had a lovely five hours of sleep last night, from half twelve to half five. Really deep sleep! I think that's going to be my routine from now on. 'You've been doing it all week.' Yeah. / How do you know? 'I've been watching you.' Right. Just stick to the astral plane, son. 'I was watching from the astral plane.' Don't you ever sleep?! 'No.' Uh. Whatever.

Christ. These voices, eh?

I walked to Richmond Hill and back yesterday. Nine and a half miles! I'm fit, and I know it.

Music? My music? Oh, I reckon I'll be able to record my new demo BEFORE(!) the week off at Christmas. I still have nightmares about trying to record My Heart during Christmas 2012. I won't make that mistake again!

Later(s), rocker(s) and roller(s)!

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

[No. 761] Let the neighbours vote!

Some great advice from W. B. Yeats.

And it's not as if ...[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[1], and it's not as if ...[2], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[2], and Yeats was no fool, no![1], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[2], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[1], and Yeats was no fool, no![2], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[1], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[2], and you know it - !!![1], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[1], and you know it - !!![2], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[2], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[1], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[2], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[1], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[2], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![1], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[2], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[1], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![2], and, well ...[1], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[2], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[1], and, well ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[1], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[2], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[1], and, so ...[2], and, no, no, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[2], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[1], and, no, no, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[2], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[1], and ... COME ON - !!![2], and words can break so beautifully ...[1], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[2], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[1], and w ords ca n br eak s o beauti fully ...[2], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[1], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[2], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[1], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[2], and art is life[1], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[2], and it's not as if ...[3], and art is life[2], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[3], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[3], and Yeats was no fool, no![3], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[3], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[3], and you know it - !!![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[3], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[3], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[3], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[3], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![3], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[3], and, well ...[3], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[3], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[3], and, no, no, no[3], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[3], and ... COME ON - !!![3], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[3], and w  o  r  d  s c  a  n b  r  e  a  k s  o b  e  a  u  t  i  f  u  l  l  y ...[3], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[3], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[3], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[3], and art is life[3], and

And it's not as if ...[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[1], and it's not as if ...[2], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[2], and Yeats was no fool, no![1], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[2], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[1], and Yeats was no fool, no![2], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[1], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[2], and you know it - !!![1], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[1], and you know it - !!![2], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[2], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[1], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[2], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[1], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[2], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![1], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[2], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[1], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![2], and, well ...[1], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[2], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[1], and, well ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[1], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[2], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[1], and, so ...[2], and, no, no, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[2], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[1], and, no, no, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[2], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[1], and ... COME ON - !!![2], and words can break so beautifully ...[1], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[2], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[1], and w ords ca n br eak s o beauti fully ...[2], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[1], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[2], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[1], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[2], and art is life[1], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[2], and it's not as if ...[3], and art is life[2], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[3], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[3], and Yeats was no fool, no![3], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[3], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[3], and you know it - !!![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[3], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[3], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[3], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[3], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![3], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[3], and, well ...[3], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[3], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[3], and, no, no, no[3], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[3], and ... COME ON - !!![3], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[3], and w  o  r  d  s c  a  n b  r  e  a  k s  o b  e  a  u  t  i  f  u  l  l  y ...[3], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[3], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[3], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[3], and art is life[3], and

And it's not as if ...[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[1], and it's not as if ...[2], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[1], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[2], and Yeats was no fool, no![1], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[2], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[1], and Yeats was no fool, no![2], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[1], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[2], and you know it - !!![1], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[1], and you know it - !!![2], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[2], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[1], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[2], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[1], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[2], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![1], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[2], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[1], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![2], and, well ...[1], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[2], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[1], and, well ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[1], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[2], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[2], and, so ...[1], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[1], and, so ...[2], and, no, no, no[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[2], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[1], and, no, no, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[2], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[1], and ... COME ON - !!![2], and words can break so beautifully ...[1], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[2], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[1], and w ords ca n br eak s o beauti fully ...[2], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[1], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[2], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[1], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[2], and art is life[1], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[2], and it's not as if ...[3], and art is life[2], and I'll take his great advice, yes / and I'll stay at home and drink my beer[3], and it's not as if ... there's anyone to vote for[3], and Yeats was no fool, no![3], and corrupt, dangerous, incompetent, delusional ... - how many different kinds of lowlife do we need, exactly?[3], and it's a sad cold world, but ...[3], and you know it - !!![3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... we have a lot of fun a-ROUND here, kook(s) ... uh, don't we?[3], and it's a refuge from reality, yes[3], and every day is Christmas when you're DIZZY(!) out of your gigantic mind[3], and I've got too much cosmic soul ...[3], and, listen! ... my consciousness is a bloody monster, son![3], and I feel ... a lot, daughter, you dig?[3], and, well ...[3], and human nature ... maybe it's unnatural ...?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and Shakespeare knew that nothing would change[3], and, ah ... my life, Jesus H. - !!![3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and stop the world, yes, but don't stop this[3], and, no, no, no[3], and I'll smash anyone with my words ... / and anyone who's dumb enough to want a fight ...[3], and ... COME ON - !!![3], and words, words, words ... / and, oh ... are they here, just for me?[3], and w  o  r  d  s c  a  n b  r  e  a  k s  o b  e  a  u  t  i  f  u  l  l  y ...[3], and I don't care about no anarchy in the UK, man! / and maybe it's the right time for disaster[3], and it will be built again, knowing our luck ...[3], and I say ... let the fools rage BECAUSE ... I'm swerving in naught / and do you understand?[3], and art is life[3], and

European CIBs - !!!

Yeah, yeah. CIBs today. That's all right, ain't it?

European corporate and investment banks (CIBs) are in great difficulties.

Oh dear. I wonder what the problem is. Or ... what the problems are. 'Don't wonder, boss. Read the bloody email!' Well, I'll quote from it, Voice.

How they can address the fundamental constraints the industry is facing: cost inelasticity, revenue decline and talent evasion, and find profitability and performance again, CIB Outlook 2019 reveals.

Eh?! Talent evasion? Why are they evading talent? It doesn't make any sense, man. Everyone loves talent. This is crazy! I think - 'Boss.' What? 'Obviously, talent is evading the CIBs. That's the problem. Or one of the problems.' Oh, okay.

December 2, 2019. The European consulting firm EUROGROUP Consulting, in an exclusive annual study on corporate and investment banking (European CIB Outlook 2019), reveals the numerous challenges European CIBs urgently need to address, and outlines strategic and organizational solutions to help them reduce the performance gap with their US counterparts.

They've got solutions! Nice one! 'We'll see.' Well, they say they have, this Eurogroup Consulting. / Oh, a bit about them -

Eurogroup Consulting is a consultancy firm that specializes in strategy, management and organization. Created in 1982 as an independent and European resource, the firm has offices across 38 countries. With an international network of 3,200 consultants, including 400 in France, Eurogroup Consulting is known and recognized for its advisory in diverse business sectors, from private, public to social.

Fair enough. And, uh ... it seems that Matthieu Prieuret is available for interview. So ... 'What?! Who on earth is Matthieu Prieuret?!' Christ! He works at Eurogroup Consulting. 'Making the tea? Doing the dusting?' No. He's a partner, silly. 'Oh. Well, that's all right.' Of course it is! It's a good job, I should imagine. 'Are you going to interview him then?' Ha! No. But I'll let him speak in a minute. 'His voice will just come through, like.' Exactly.

There are numerous constraints on European banks: digital transformation, increased market volatility, historically low interest rates, a new wave of stringent regulation, massive investment in infrastructure, the introduction of pay caps for executives.

Dear oh dear. Listen! If I were them, dear reader(s), these banks, I would call it a day, man. I mean, find something better to do, you dig?

In fact, European banks are struggling and losing out to American banks, which have managed to strengthen their position in Europe, notably by relying on a large domestic market and a more favourable regulatory landscape.

Ah, those American banks! 'Nasty!' I don't mind them, Voice. Honestly.

A large majority of European CIBs experienced significant financial difficulties during the 2018 financial year. Despite an increase in overall CIB business revenue of 3.5% in 2018, mainly driven by Equity and Prime Services and a favourable exchange rate, Equity and Prime businesses fell by -21.6% causing in a -10% year-on-year fall in revenue in the first quarter of 2019.

Shit! But, but, BUT(!) ... what about the cost reduction programmes? 'I was just about to mention those, boss.' Yeah. Sure you were.

Even the cost reduction programmes put in place do not offset the decline in turnover.

Damn! Oh, I just don't know. I really don't know. 'Boss! A voice, incoming!'

According to Matthieu Prieuret, Partner of EUROGROUP Consulting in London, "The future prospects are bleak if European CIBs do not change their model. They must now consider drastic structural changes and address the fundamental constraints that the industry is currently facing by optimizing their cost base and revitalizing their talent to close the gap with US banks and protect their positions."

Thanks, Matthieu. But ... are you suggesting that these banks have been evading talent? It's not clear, son. 'You better interview him.' No, no. I don't want to talk to anyone.

Anyway ... three avenues to recovery. Look! -

The European CIB Outlook 2019 study identifies three avenues to recover profitability and competitiveness and capitalize on talent by focusing on:

- Assets industrialization (operations and technology) to pool together and reduce costs could increase profitability by around 2-4%.

- Structured finance opportunities and next generation financing model would generate revenue growth and improve profitability by 2-3%.

- Talent empowerment: Granting more autonomy to teams and revitalizing talent could lead to an increase in RoE of around 1-2%.


Okay, okay. The talent has got to be "revitalized" in some way. 'Boss. In the old days either you or Keith Busby would have gone into these banks to work on everyone's auras and chakras and that.' Ha, ha, ha! Those days are over, my little disembodied friend.

Okay, okay.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Music? My music? This is a finance blog, man.

Laters!

Monday, 2 December 2019

[No. 760] What are you certain of?

Don't let the demons of the world fill you full of doubt.

And, so ...[1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[1], and, so ...[2], and, or ... Are you stupid?![1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[2], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![1], and, or ... Are you stupid?![2], and, Christ![1], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![2], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[1], and, Christ![2], and, Krishna![1], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[2], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[1], and, Krishna![2], and no one is coming ...[1], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[2], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![1], and no one is coming ...[2], and they also give advice[1], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![2], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[1], and they also give advice[2], and demons will say ... take it easy![1], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[2], and they're very lazy, yes[1], and demons will say ... take it easy![2], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[1], and they're very lazy, yes[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[1], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[2], and, do you ... ?[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[2], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[1], and, do you ... ?[2], and, I say ... you![1], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[2], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[1], and, I say ... you![2], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[1], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[2], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![1], and ... CO ME O N - !!![2], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[1], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![2], and be certain, yes[1], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[2], and there must be something ...[1], and be certain, yes[2], and I know all about you ...[1], and there must be something ...[2], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[1], and I know all about you ...[2], and ... WAKE UP - !!![1], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[2], and, so ...[3], and ... W AKE U P - !!![2], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[3], and, or ... Are you stupid?![3], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![3], and, Christ![3], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[3], and, Krishna![3], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[3], and no one is coming ...[3], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![3], and they also give advice[3], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[3], and demons will say ... take it easy![3], and they're very lazy, yes[3], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[3], and, do you ... ?[3], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[3], and, I say ... you![3], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[3], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[3], and ... C  O  M  E O  N - !!![3], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![3], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[3], and be certain, yes[3], and there must be something ...[3], and I know all about you ...[3], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[3], and ... W  A  K  E U  P - !!![3], and

And, so ...[1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[1], and, so ...[2], and, or ... Are you stupid?![1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[2], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![1], and, or ... Are you stupid?![2], and, Christ![1], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![2], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[1], and, Christ![2], and, Krishna![1], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[2], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[1], and, Krishna![2], and no one is coming ...[1], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[2], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![1], and no one is coming ...[2], and they also give advice[1], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![2], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[1], and they also give advice[2], and demons will say ... take it easy![1], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[2], and they're very lazy, yes[1], and demons will say ... take it easy![2], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[1], and they're very lazy, yes[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[1], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[2], and, do you ... ?[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[2], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[1], and, do you ... ?[2], and, I say ... you![1], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[2], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[1], and, I say ... you![2], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[1], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[2], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![1], and ... CO ME O N - !!![2], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[1], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![2], and be certain, yes[1], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[2], and there must be something ...[1], and be certain, yes[2], and I know all about you ...[1], and there must be something ...[2], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[1], and I know all about you ...[2], and ... WAKE UP - !!![1], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[2], and, so ...[3], and ... W AKE U P - !!![2], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[3], and, or ... Are you stupid?![3], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![3], and, Christ![3], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[3], and, Krishna![3], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[3], and no one is coming ...[3], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![3], and they also give advice[3], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[3], and demons will say ... take it easy![3], and they're very lazy, yes[3], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[3], and, do you ... ?[3], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[3], and, I say ... you![3], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[3], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[3], and ... C  O  M  E O  N - !!![3], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![3], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[3], and be certain, yes[3], and there must be something ...[3], and I know all about you ...[3], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[3], and ... W  A  K  E U  P - !!![3], and

And, so ...[1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[1], and, so ...[2], and, or ... Are you stupid?![1], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[2], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![1], and, or ... Are you stupid?![2], and, Christ![1], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![2], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[1], and, Christ![2], and, Krishna![1], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[2], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[1], and, Krishna![2], and no one is coming ...[1], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[2], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![1], and no one is coming ...[2], and they also give advice[1], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![2], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[1], and they also give advice[2], and demons will say ... take it easy![1], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[2], and they're very lazy, yes[1], and demons will say ... take it easy![2], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[1], and they're very lazy, yes[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[1], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[2], and, do you ... ?[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[2], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[1], and, do you ... ?[2], and, I say ... you![1], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[2], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[1], and, I say ... you![2], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[1], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[2], and ... COME ON - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[2], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![1], and ... CO ME O N - !!![2], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[1], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![2], and be certain, yes[1], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[2], and there must be something ...[1], and be certain, yes[2], and I know all about you ...[1], and there must be something ...[2], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[1], and I know all about you ...[2], and ... WAKE UP - !!![1], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[2], and, so ...[3], and ... W AKE U P - !!![2], and take my advice, kook(s)! ... in dark times, or, uh ... even light ones[3], and, or ... Are you stupid?![3], and, listen! ... I know a thing or two about the world and its demons, oh, believe me![3], and, Christ![3], and why couldn't they have stayed in hell? / and, well ... maybe that's where they're going next[3], and, Krishna![3], and save us - !!! ... or we might have to save ourselves[3], and no one is coming ...[3], and, ha! ... all the demons ... they can be rather friendly, BUT(!) ... don't trust them - !!![3], and they also give advice[3], and ... is life too short, or is it too long? / and it's one for those, uh ... moronic philosophers to work out[3], and demons will say ... take it easy![3], and they're very lazy, yes[3], and they love to see you all weak and confused, man / and that's when they attack, son ... daughter, yes[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to know who you are[3], and, do you ... ?[3], and too many souls are lost in the material world / and, so ... the spiritual world will really fuck them over[3], and, I say ... you![3], and too many, yes ... not ready for enlightenment, no[3], and a-ROUND here ... if it helps, should help, like, oh, faster than ... whatever, obviously[3], and ... C  O  M  E O  N - !!![3], and, tell me, me, me! ... of all the shamans ... do you, you, YOU(!) ... know - ?![3], and know yourself, kook(s), know your dreams[3], and be certain, yes[3], and there must be something ...[3], and I know all about you ...[3], and, listen, you bloody idiot! ... I'm certain that you will lose if you're not certain[3], and ... W  A  K  E U  P - !!![3], and

Investment catalyst

What's that? I don't know. But I suppose I'll find out, yes. I ain't got nothing else to do on a cold Monday morning in winter. You dig?

Price Bailey partners with East of England Investment Catalyst for tech company showcase.

Oh, it's a showcase thing. That's all right. Yes, it's a PR email, dear reader(s). No surprises. Maybe I should write about the Aviva Investors Christmas party instead ... 'Just tell us when this showcase is happening, boss.' Ha!

On 26 November, Price Bailey's Strategic Corporate Finance team introduced a hallmark event in which East Anglia's tech companies had the opportunity to pitch their ideas to leading business investors alongside Barclays Eagle Labs.

Oh dear. It's been and gone. Never mind, eh? 'Jesus H. Christ!' What? 'Your readers are going to be upset now.' Don't be ridiculous! My readers are strong, man. They wouldn't let something like this get them down.

Anyway, what is Price Bailey?

Price Bailey is a top 30 accountancy practice specializing in providing accountancy and business advice to enable the growth of regional, national and international businesses. In addition to traditional accounting services, the firm has a range of specialists in many areas which combine to provide a complete, integrated business offering. These include tax consultancy, corporate finance, strategic planning, insolvency & recovery and employment law.

Oh, I see.

Right. I wonder if Chand Chudasama has anything to say. 'Who?!' Chand Chudasama. 'Okay. But ... surely we should be wondering if this Chand has anything to say that anyone is interested in listening to.' Don't be like that, Voice. 'Like what?' Your attitude, son. 'Well ...' Listen! I'm going to give our Chand a chance.

Chand Chudasama, Strategic Corporate Finance Partner, says: "Price Bailey works closely with small and large businesses across the Eastern region and we tend to find that businesses outside of Cambridge and London often don't get the recognition they deserve. We are proud to partner with the investment showcase and demonstrate to a wider investment network the talent and ingenuity that is hidden away from the limelight. Our team thoroughly enjoyed helping this cohort of East Anglian businesses prepare for their pitch to venture capital investors in London; the talent that was showcased at the event was extraordinary and promises an exciting future for the region."

Okay. Okay. Thank you, Chand. 'That's five pounds you owe me, boss.' For what? 'You lost the bet.' Shut up, you idiot! We didn't have a bet, Chand. Ignore him.

ENDS

...

Anything else, kook(s)? Music? My music? All right. I made a rough recording of Stella the other day. I was listening to it a lot this weekend. Two things from it -

1] The song is better than I thought it was. It might be my best song. It's hard to say. (The lyrics for Nothing are better.) What I can say is ... no other songwriter in the world - at the moment - is anywhere near this level.*

If only I could sing properly ...

2] Well, well ... / Listen! My singing is much improved, thanks to those vocal exercises I've been doing since September. I can honestly say that this is the first time in my life I've been really pleased when listening to my singing, rather than just a bit satisfied (at best!) My voice is stronger. Oh, it's in key. And it even has a nice tone to it now.

I've just got to hold my life together for a couple of months ...

Later(s), pop fan(s)!


*Of course, anyone is welcome to challenge me. But how committed are they? Robert De Niro once said you shouldn't have anything in your life that you can't walk out on in thirty seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.