Thursday, 5 December 2019

What's so super about three Saturdays?

Just one of the questions I've got on my mind this morning ... 'What's this, boss?' Jinksy. 'Oh, him again. What does he want now?' He just wants to tell us about these, uh ... Super Saturdays, or something.

With Just Three 'Super Saturdays' Before Christmas This Year, ParcelHero Predicts a Christmas Crush.

Oh, okay. Tell us more!

For the first time since 2015 there are only three Saturdays in December before Christmas. 23% of Brits leave it until December to start shopping in store and online - leading to three hectic weekends, forecasts ParcelHero.

Well, none of it will be "hectic" for me, I'm glad to say.

The final Saturday before Christmas has become known as 'Super Saturday' as Christmas shopping, both in store and online, reaches a crescendo. A quirk of the calendar means that December 2019, for the first time in four years, has just three Saturdays rather than four, before Christmas. That will turn every remaining pre-Christmas Saturday into 'Super Saturdays' predicts the home delivery expert ParcelHero, as four Saturday shops are squeezed into three.

Christ! Tell us less! / Is he really excited about this stuff?

ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Our research reveals 23% of shoppers - and yes, to fit the stereotype, they are mainly men - still don't start any Christmas shopping until the calendar flips to December. With just three Saturdays to squeeze their present hunting in this year, many shoppers are going to be feverishly hitting High Streets and keypads over the next three weekends."

Ha! The only thing I'll be feverishly hitting is my guitar as I continue to rehearse my songs. 'Don't you like Christmas, boss?' Er, I'll be relaxing on Christmas Day and Boxing Day, Voice, but that's all.

Of course, the Aviva Investors mob will be feverishly hitting the booze from tomorrow night. I mean, that's when their Christmas party starts. 'But when does it end?' Ha! I don't know. Mid-January, I think. Although it would be fair to say that their whole lives are one big party at that firm. 'Have you been invited?' Me?! No, they don't invite me, man. 'Oh.' They know I'm a workaholic. 'They know you're no fun.' Shut up!

Anyway, Jinksy ... oh, I'm not doing all of this email. I'll let him conclude ...

Concludes David: "Visiting your local town centre for some seasonal shopping, a mince pie and a drink or two is part of the whole Christmas experience; but be warned, High Streets will be heaving at weekends. If you decide to buy online instead, remember that some major stores' deadlines for delivering before Christmas are as early as the 16th this year."

Yeah, yeah. Jinksy just wants everyone ordering parcels online. The man is obsessed. 'He's nuts, boss, let's be honest.' Ha! He's dedicated, Voice.

ENDS

...

Anything else, dear reader(s)? Well ... I had a lovely five hours of sleep last night, from half twelve to half five. Really deep sleep! I think that's going to be my routine from now on. 'You've been doing it all week.' Yeah. / How do you know? 'I've been watching you.' Right. Just stick to the astral plane, son. 'I was watching from the astral plane.' Don't you ever sleep?! 'No.' Uh. Whatever.

Christ. These voices, eh?

I walked to Richmond Hill and back yesterday. Nine and a half miles! I'm fit, and I know it.

Music? My music? Oh, I reckon I'll be able to record my new demo BEFORE(!) the week off at Christmas. I still have nightmares about trying to record My Heart during Christmas 2012. I won't make that mistake again!

Later(s), rocker(s) and roller(s)!