Wednesday 30 November 2016

[No. 469] This is my Christmas party!

It will last forever.

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

Old Mutual Global Investors is launching the Style Premia Absolute Return fund

Soon! Like, uh, tomorrow, man. [Well, beginning of December, "they" say.] So, that's something to look forward to. 'Although not very far, boss. Only twenty-four hours. Then you'll get that empty feeling again. You'll be desperate for the new sensation.' New sensation?! What are you going on about? Don't try and bring me down, son. I'm feeling reasonably positive today. So are Leif Cussen, Paul Simpson, and John Dow. 'Who on earth are they?!' Christ! They're the OMGI guys who will be managing the fund. 'OMGI guys?!' Old Mutual Global Investors. 'Oh.' Yes. They're going to manage STAR. 'What? Which star? Not you, surely?' Eh? 'Tony went to fight in Belfast. Rudi stayed at home to starve. You could make it all worthwhile as a rock and roll star.' Yes, okay. 'Bevan tried to change the nation. Sonny wants to turn the world. Well, he can tell you that he tried. You could make a transformation as a rock and roll star!' Will you shut up, Voice? Please! STAR is the Style Premia Absolute Return fund. 'Oh, right. I thought it was something glamorous. Some exciting news, like. I thought you had representation, man.' Shut up! This is actually exciting for the world of finance. STAR is a great name for a new fund.

What else? It's a Ucits fund. Liquid alternatives or something. I don't know. 'Hey, be careful, man. They've got a beverage there.' Exactly! / Anyway, I wish them all the best with it. I'm sure Leif, Paul, and John are going to have a wonderful time. 'Yeah, right before Christmas.' What do you mean? 'Ha! You wouldn't catch the Aviva Investors mob launching a new fund on the first of December.' Er ... I don't think you would catch them launching a new fund at any time, Voice. Schroders maybe. 'I mean, their Christmas party starts tomorrow, yeah?' Everyone needs a Christmas party, Voice. Don't be a Scrooge! 'But when will it ever end?!' The party? Mid-January. Same as every year. What's your problem? Don't you like to see people having fun? 'Well, there's fun, boss, and then there's fun. These people are degenerates, wasters.' Shut up!

What a bloody idiot! / Finance characters are either working hard or having fun. But the Voice is never happy. 'It's just the way I am.'

...

Anything else? Well, Royal Bank of Scotland has failed a stress test. It needs to raise £2 billion in capital now. However, I don't write about banks any more, just funds. 'Why not, boss?' I don't know. They don't seem as exciting as they once did. 'Maybe those banks in Italy will collapse soon.' Yes, that will be something to write about. Thanks!

Tuesday 29 November 2016

Vaadin raises some money from Verdane Capital

Yeah, I say "some" money because I don't know what kind it is. I mean ... 'They're saying 5M€, boss ... whatever that is.' It might be some sort of Finnish money, Voice. I'm really not sure. There's definitely a euro in there, but what does the M stand for? 'Finland?' How?! How would it do that? / Well, dear reader(s), this is the Tuesday morning PR email, back by ... uh, popular demand. I may have to use more of these things in the run-up to Christmas because journalists like to go on strike at this time of year. PR people may be more reliable anyway. 'Boss, I think journalists just rewrite the PR emails, so ... you're basically a journalist yourself.' Ha! Oh, give me a break! For fuck's sake! I've got enough problems.

So, what have we got?

This marks the second investment round for Vaadin this year. The capital will be used to further boost its investments into product development and marketing.

'Nice one.'

Verdane Capital IX invests over 5M€ in Vaadin, the company behind the popular open source web application development tools. The investment is made partly by buying secondary shares from another shareholder and party as a directed new issue. "We are very pleased to team up with Verdane and further strengthen our position in the growing US and European markets," says CEO Joonas Lehtinen. He adds, "Vaadin is known for its tools that simplify the development of business grade web apps and with the new investment we are able to expand the tools to new and even larger markets."

Okay. I just wish we knew how much money was involved. We can't all be Finnish, you know. 'Are you sure they're Finnish firms though?' Well ... I don't know. I've only just had my morning coffee, man. The readers will have to cut me some slack. 'As always.' Yeah.

Verdane is a Nordic private equity manager focusing on investments in technology enabled growth companies. Verdane raised its latest fund, Verdane Capital IX, this summer with an investment of SEK 3 billion. Prior to its investment in Vaadin, Verdane private equity funds have invested in other prominent Finnish companies such as Codenomicon, CRF Health and Eniram.

Uh, Nordic. Nordic. What's that? 'I dunno. Norway?' Christ! This is so confusing. They're talking about SEK now! 'Unbelievable!' / Should we continue with this? 'Let's just get it done, boss. It will all be over soon, then you can play your guitar.'

Earlier investors in Vaadin include Aboa Venture Management, the Nordic private equity company eEquity, and Finnish Industry Investment Ltd (Suomen Teollisuussijoitus). The company intends to continue growing at a rapid pace and adding to its one hundred and thirty person strong team based in Finland, Germany, and Silicon Valley.

Uh, Finland is mixed up in it somewhere. This whole post has been a disaster. 'Do you want to start again?' Ha! / Oh, what's this now?!?!

Finnish Industry Investment Ltd (FII) is a venture capital and private equity company that accelerates companies' success stories by investing in them directly and via funds. FII always invests together with other investors, providing them with access to high quality deal flow in Finland. We have 1 billion euros in assets under management and altogether 660 companies in portfolio.

How are they involved? 'It's the first mention of them!' Er, maybe. But I'm not going back to read it all. / Ah, that's enough! Life really is too short.

...

Anything else? You want more? Glutton for punishment, eh? Well, come back tomorrow, weirdo(es)!

Monday 28 November 2016

[No. 468] It's Blue Monday

Yeah, feeling down, man.

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and

MASECO Asia is launching in Hong Kong

Well, well ... / Er ... it's the Monday morning PR email, folk(s), back by popular demand. 'You don't do them on Monday, boss.' I do them any time, Voice. 'Wasn't there any news?' I couldn't find any news. 'Did you look?' This is bloody news, ain't it?! They wouldn't send it to me unless something exciting and newsworthy was happening. 'All right. Keep your hair on.' It's Monday morning, man. You know I'm not at my best on a Monday morning. Let's just get it done.

MASECO Private Wealth (MPW) is supporting the launch of MASECO Asia Limited in Hong Kong. MASECO Asia is an independently owned entity that services the wealth needs of US citizens resident in Asia.

'Nice.'

MASECO Asia will offer Discretionary Wealth Management Services under a Type 9 license with the Securities and Futures Commission of Hong Kong. The firm will provide US-compliant solutions that will simplify tax reporting and accounting for American citizens and Green Card holders in Hong Kong.

'Nice.'

MASECO Asia, under the direction of Mark and Ashley Scher, will leverage off the success of MASECO Private Wealth in London. Over the past six years Mark and Ashley have been instrumental in the development and growth of MPW, and they are bringing their experience to the Asian market. Being US expatriates themselves, they understand first-hand the financial and tax complexities Americans face when living abroad. Together, they are committed to building the MASECO brand in Asia.

'Nice.' It's not jazz, Voice.

Mark has been active in the region since 2012, and over that time, he realized how under-served many American expatriates are when it comes to their investment and wealth planning needs. MASECO Asia aims to address this gap and provide Americans in Hong Kong with a robust evidenced-based investment solution that focuses on client-centric needs and goal orientated outcomes. Mark has expressed that he felt the "time was right to make the transition into Asia" and that he has been "encouraged by the positive reception to the firm's entry into the local market."

Well, very "nice". / I wonder what James Sellon has got to say about it all. 'Who?!' Our Jimmy, in London. 'Don't know him.'

James Sellon, Managing Partner at MASECO Private Wealth in London noted that "Expanding the MASECO brand into Asia was the logical next step. Over the last eight years we have helped thousands of US clients in Europe navigate the complexities of allocating capital in a multi-jurisdictional world. We believe that international US citizens face the same financial challenges globally and believe that MASECO Asia can leverage off London's experience. For the first time US citizens in Asia will have the ability to work with a local specialist firm, able to draw on its association with a company which is a thought leader in the global American expatriate space, with strong links in both the US and Europe. The two firms are aligned in their vision and values to bring high quality investment and wealth planning solutions to American expatriates in Europe and Asia."

Well, well ... another one of these thought leaders, eh? 'There are a lot of them about, boss.' Well, it's fashionable now, ain't it? I mean, years after I started doing it.

...

Anything else? Uh ... 'Music update, boss?' Well, this is the last one, Voice. 'Sure it is.' Ha! / Right. My new improved demo is going to have four songs on it. 'We know that.' Yes. I've recorded two, but ... they sound better at the moment than the other two, which are the best songs. 'Eh?!' Let me explain, man. I haven't been able to make my best songs sound as good as the two songs which ... are still great, you dig? 'Yeah.' But not as good. 'But they sound better?' They certainly do. 'I'm lost. Explain!' Jesus! I'm saying I've got to make my two best songs sound better. 'Ah, I get you, Mikey. You're saying there's going to be another fucking delay.' That's exactly what I'm saying. 'Christ! It's like You're Lying all over again. Deja Vu.' No, that's Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. No, no ... there won't be hundreds of takes, man. Just chill out a bit. Everything will be hunky dory by Christmas. 'Oh, so you're ripping off Bowie now, too. Lovely!' Shut up, you idiot! Hunky dory means everything is fine, okay. 'Okay.' Yes. Yes, it's okay.

Laters.

Thursday 24 November 2016

[No. 467] Francis Cueto is spinning a-ROUND

He's never been happier.

And ... Asturias?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[1], and ... Asturias?[2], and, uh ... what's his name?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[1], and, uh ... what's his name?[2], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[2], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[1], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[2], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![1], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[2], and there he goes, spinning off[1], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![2], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[1], and there he goes, spinning off[2], and it's addictive![1], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[2], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[1], and it's addictive![2], and out there, with the space cows - ?[1], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[2], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[1], and out there, with the space cows - ?[2], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[1], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[2], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[1], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[2], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[1], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[2], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[1], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[2], and the less said about the nightmares ...[1], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[2], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[1], and the less said about the nightmares ...[2], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[1], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[2], and ... ha![1], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[2], and ... Asturias?[3], and ... ha![2], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[3], and, uh ... what's his name?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[3], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[3], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[3], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![3], and there he goes, spinning off[3], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[3], and it's addictive![3], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[3], and out there, with the space cows - ?[3], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[3], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[3], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[3], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[3], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[3], and the less said about the nightmares ...[3], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[3], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[3], and ... ha![3], and

And ... Asturias?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[1], and ... Asturias?[2], and, uh ... what's his name?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[1], and, uh ... what's his name?[2], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[2], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[1], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[2], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![1], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[2], and there he goes, spinning off[1], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![2], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[1], and there he goes, spinning off[2], and it's addictive![1], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[2], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[1], and it's addictive![2], and out there, with the space cows - ?[1], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[2], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[1], and out there, with the space cows - ?[2], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[1], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[2], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[1], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[2], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[1], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[2], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[1], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[2], and the less said about the nightmares ...[1], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[2], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[1], and the less said about the nightmares ...[2], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[1], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[2], and ... ha![1], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[2], and ... Asturias?[3], and ... ha![2], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[3], and, uh ... what's his name?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[3], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[3], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[3], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![3], and there he goes, spinning off[3], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[3], and it's addictive![3], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[3], and out there, with the space cows - ?[3], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[3], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[3], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[3], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[3], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[3], and the less said about the nightmares ...[3], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[3], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[3], and ... ha![3], and

And ... Asturias?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[1], and ... Asturias?[2], and, uh ... what's his name?[1], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[1], and, uh ... what's his name?[2], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[2], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[1], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[2], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![1], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[2], and there he goes, spinning off[1], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![2], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[1], and there he goes, spinning off[2], and it's addictive![1], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[2], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[1], and it's addictive![2], and out there, with the space cows - ?[1], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[2], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[1], and out there, with the space cows - ?[2], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[1], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[2], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[1], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[2], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[1], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[2], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[1], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[2], and the less said about the nightmares ...[1], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[2], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[1], and the less said about the nightmares ...[2], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[1], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[2], and ... ha![1], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[2], and ... Asturias?[3], and ... ha![2], and our Francis can forget about that hedge fund of his / Oh, what's it called?[3], and, uh ... what's his name?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... the beautiful thing about the DIZZY(!) life is ... just this[3], and ... I forget the horrors, yes[3], and YOU(!), oh, YOU(!) ... should forget / Ah, never remember the pain of the cold world[3], and our Francis ... here he is ... BOLD AS BRASS!!![3], and there he goes, spinning off[3], and here he is AGAIN!!! / and we shouldn't be surprised that Mr Cueto is like a duck in some water[3], and it's addictive![3], and hedgies love all this / ... stressful, stressful, stressful lives, you understand?[3], and out there, with the space cows - ?[3], and the cosmos has given me so many wonderful things / and how can I ever repay?[3], and beyond the THREE may be a fantasy ...[3], and my consciousness ness is your consciousness ness is everyone's ... you dig?[3], and we share the GOOD and the BAD[3], and when we dream ... ? / and, uh ... we'll meet again, and again, and again[3], and the less said about the nightmares ...[3], and, but, but, but, kooks ... we don't want to worry our Francis / He's new to this game, after all[3], and a-ROUND again(?!), one more, one more, one more ... time for the road?[3], and ... ha![3], and

Francis Cueto is preparing a new hedge fund!

Well, well ... / Well, Francis has this, uh ... Asturias Capital thing, see. 'Nice.' However, it's a part of Blackstone's Senfina Advisors unit at the moment. 'Oh. How did that happen, boss?' I'm not quite sure, Voice. I mean, Mr Cueto is a portfolio manager at the unit, but ... 'Oh.' Yeah. / Anyway, by April next year ... he will be spinning this hedge fund of his away from Blackstone and - 'Out into the cosmos, yeah?' Well ... not exactly, man. 'No?' Just spinning out into the normal hedge fund world, I think. 'Oh dear.' I presume that's what he's planning. 'Christ! These hedgies! Wouldn't our Francis be happier inside one of your conceptual posts, personally, himself, like, spinning a-ROUND for all of eternity?' Ha! Yes, I was wondering that, actually. / So, after lunch ... 'No. 467, boss?' Ha! You know me better than I know myself, Voice. Yes, dear reader(s), after lunch I will be taking Mr Cueto for a spin in No. 467. 'Brilliant! He'll love it!' I'll get him so DIZZY(!) ... that he'll forget all about Asturias Capital. 'He'll forget his own name, man!' Hopefully. I mean, it'll be for his own good.

...

Anything else? Music? I tried recording my two songs last night (two done already), but the strings were dead. 'Shame.' Yeah. / After putting new strings on an acoustic guitar, you probably only have a window of six hours to get the best sound out of them. So I'll have to put new ones on and try again. Maybe at the weekend. 'Jesus H.!' Or ... it might be a plectrum problem. I don't know. Oh, I'll work it out, pop fan(s). Don't worry about it. / Obviously, this is MY LAST EVER music update ... 'Ha! You keep saying that!' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, Voice. Well, it might be useful to historians one day. You know, how some half-arsed finance blogger turned himself into the biggest rock and roll star in the world. 'It'll be a fascinating story, Mikey!' Fuckin' A it will!

Lunch? I fancy a luxury egg sandwich today. Cheese and onion crisps. Yoghurt. 'Coke?' No. Glass of water, with two ice cubes. 'Wow!' Yeah, I'm getting healthy, man. I've got to get down to rock star weight. That's how seriously I'm taking all this. / Well, laters.

Wednesday 23 November 2016

How black can Friday get?

I dunno. I mean, am I supposed to know? / Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Wednesday morning PR email, back by popular demand. This isn't a financial one. I normally ignore the ones that aren't financial ones. 'You normally ignore the ones that are financial ones, boss.' Yes, Voice. Most of them. BUT(!) ... this one is about Black Friday. 'Ha!' Which is utterly ridiculous, by the way. This is not America. 'Great song!' What?! 'I said, great song, boss.' What is?! 'Bowie and Metheny!' Shut up! Idiot!

Anyway ...

Your Black Friday bargains might be overpriced and non-returnable by Boxing Day, warns e-commerce delivery specialist Fastlane International.

I ain't getting no bargains, man. I ain't American. I refuse to get involved!

Following last week's Which? report revealing half of all Black Friday Bargains were in fact cheaper in the months before and after Black Friday last year; the e-delivery specialists Fastlane International has a further warning to shoppers buying gifts for Christmas: many return periods will be expired by Boxing Day.

Don't do it, people! Remember you're British! [Uh, American readers, do what the hell you like. Am I bothered?]

Fastlane International's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT says: "Why are we not exactly surprised about Black Friday being less full of bargains than the shops would have us believe? The Which? findings reinforce our recommendation that it pays bargain hunters to research and buy their Black Friday deals online rather than buy on impulse in store. But read the returns deadline small print before you buy."

Even better, don't buy nothing, yeah? Unless you're American. / Well, more advice -

Black Friday falls quite early this year. Don't let the 14 day dates catch you out!

Savvy consumers should approach Black Friday with a strong idea of what they want to buy.

Purchase online, rather than in store, and you are protected against any misleading price claims - and many other issues. The vast majority of products can be sent back within 14 days - without having to give a reason. It's now law as part of the Government's 2014 Consumer Contracts Regulations.

In contrast, shop purchased items only have the right to be returned if they are faulty. Brick and mortar shops only have to conform to the Consumer Rights Act: so you may be stuck with your Black Friday non-bargain. Some shops do offer a more generous returns policy - and if they have one they are legally obliged to honour it - but these vary greatly; and by no means all shops do.


Okay, so this guy, this David Jinks, has a hard-on for the internet. Fair enough. It's a new age!

...

Anything else? Music? I'm feeling in a reasonably positive mood, so I'll have a go at recording my songs today. However, I don't do updates no more. That's the last one!

What am I listening to? Just one song. The Long and Winding Road ... featuring John Lennon's passive-aggressive bass playing.

What else? NOTHING ELSE. Well, nothing I want to talk about, you dig? So, laters. See you tomorrow, blog fans(s)!

Tuesday 22 November 2016

Henry Cobbe, Andy Adshead, and Sean Kelly have all got jobs at Copia Capital Management

So ... 'Is this news, boss?' Well, yeah ... sort of. I mean, they've just been hired. 'Oh.' Yeah, Henry Cobbe is some sort of head, mixed up in ETFs, I think. 'Nice.' And, uh ... Andy Adshead is a relationship manager. 'Okay. What about Sean Kelly?' You don't want to know about Sean Kelly. 'The readers do!' I doubt it.

Anyway, Copia Capital ...

Copia Capital Management is a Discretionary Fund Management facility that was established in 2013 by Novia Financial plc, to provide exciting new investment opportunities for Novia clients. Copia gives Advisers access to a new approach to Discretionary Fund Management, with specialist expertise that provides a significantly enhanced investment service to our mutual clients. Providing great service and the highest quality outcomes for clients were the core criteria set in the creation of Copia.

You see? They provide great service. So, that's all right, ain't it? 'What about Sean Kelly, boss?' Will you just fucking leave it, Voice! Please! No one wants to know about Sean Kelly. 'Christ! Is there something wrong with him?!' There's nothing wrong with him. He's a quantitative research analyst. 'Oh.' Are you happy now? 'Well, that's all you had to say, man.' ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! 'Well ... I suppose.' It doesn't matter what anyone is.

You can't judge a man by his job title, dear reader(s). How many times do I have to say it? / I suppose I could go to LinkedIn, but ... 'You would have to sign in, boss, become a member again.' Fuck that! And put some stupid profile up? Saying what about myself?

It's an impossible situation. / I'm still not in a right mood, really, from yesterday. All I want to do is play my guitar, man, you dig? And I will, after lunch. 'You'll feel better if you record those last couple of songs.' Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

...

Anything else? Politics? Donald Trump wants Nigel Farage to be the British ambassador to America. 'Ha! My God!' I think I understand what is happening with America and Britain. 'Tell us, Mikey!' Well, America is becoming a Shakespearean tragedy, and Great Britain is now attaching itself as the fifty-first state ... for a bit of comic relief. 'Oh. Like that scene in Macbeth with the drunken porter?' Exactly! Yes, it's all starting to make sense.

Monday 21 November 2016

[No. 466] Polperro

'Remember it, Mikey. It's Polperro.'

And I will never forget[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[1], and I will never forget[2], and how many spins?[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![1], and how many spins?[2], and the mist ... or was it fog?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![2], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![1], and the mist ... or was it fog?[2], and ... the music? / Well ...[1], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![2], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[1], and ... the music? / Well ...[2], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[1], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[2], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[1], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[2], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[1], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[2], and ... ha![1], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[2], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[1], and ... ha![2], and listening now ...[1], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[2], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[1], and listening now ...[2], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![1], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[2], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[1], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![2], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[1], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[1], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[2], and even freeze every moment ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[2], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[1], and even freeze every moment ...[2], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[1], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[2], and I will never forget[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[2], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[3], and how many spins?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![3], and the mist ... or was it fog?[3], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![3], and ... the music? / Well ...[3], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[3], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[3], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[3], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[3], and ... ha![3], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[3], and listening now ...[3], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[3], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![3], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[3], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[3], and even freeze every moment ...[3], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[3], and

And I will never forget[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[1], and I will never forget[2], and how many spins?[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![1], and how many spins?[2], and the mist ... or was it fog?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![2], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![1], and the mist ... or was it fog?[2], and ... the music? / Well ...[1], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![2], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[1], and ... the music? / Well ...[2], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[1], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[2], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[1], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[2], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[1], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[2], and ... ha![1], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[2], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[1], and ... ha![2], and listening now ...[1], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[2], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[1], and listening now ...[2], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![1], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[2], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[1], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![2], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[1], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[1], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[2], and even freeze every moment ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[2], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[1], and even freeze every moment ...[2], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[1], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[2], and I will never forget[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[2], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[3], and how many spins?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![3], and the mist ... or was it fog?[3], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![3], and ... the music? / Well ...[3], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[3], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[3], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[3], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[3], and ... ha![3], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[3], and listening now ...[3], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[3], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![3], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[3], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[3], and even freeze every moment ...[3], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[3], and

And I will never forget[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[1], and I will never forget[2], and how many spins?[1], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![1], and how many spins?[2], and the mist ... or was it fog?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![2], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![1], and the mist ... or was it fog?[2], and ... the music? / Well ...[1], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![2], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[1], and ... the music? / Well ...[2], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[1], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[2], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[1], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[2], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[1], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[2], and ... ha![1], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[2], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[1], and ... ha![2], and listening now ...[1], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[2], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[1], and listening now ...[2], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![1], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[2], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[1], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![2], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[1], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[1], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[2], and even freeze every moment ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[2], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[1], and even freeze every moment ...[2], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[1], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[2], and I will never forget[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[2], and two pints of cider and a bag of chocolate limes, please! / Oh, it don't get no better[3], and how many spins?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Take me back to a wintery paradise![3], and the mist ... or was it fog?[3], and, uh, fog, probably ... but there were no pirates coming to get me, thank God!!![3], and ... the music? / Well ...[3], and ... 'Seems so long ago, Nancy' / and, er ... my name is Michael, Voice[3], and, yes, it was a long time ago ...[3], and I'm thinking that I might be able to return ... with my mystical powers, like[3], and what did William Blake say? / and ... 'I think he said a lot of things, boss'[3], and ... ha![3], and never mind, and never mind, and never mind / and, man, I'm saying I will never mind[3], and listening now ...[3], and I thought I saw an eagle, but it might have been a vulture ... / 'What, in Cornwall?!'[3], and, Christ! ... Listen, fool![3], and no, no, no ... / ... and the song, the song, the song remains the same[3], and if I could slow down every moment of life ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and this is much better than golden memories[3], and even freeze every moment ...[3], and a beautiful accordion! / and through the graves the wind is blowing ...[3], and, be, just be ... eternally on that bench[3], and

Ron Resnick is the chief operating officer now

Yeah, at Robertson Stephens, an investment advisory firm. I don't know how long our Ronnie has been at the firm. Maybe he's just turned up from somewhere else. I really don't know. 'It would be easy to find out, wouldn't it, boss?' Uh, I'll have to join LinkedIn again, Voice. They don't let you see the profiles any more, unless you're signed in. It's a total pain in the arse. How are new people supposed to know what it's like if they can't even see what it's like? 'Eh?' Exactly. That's what I said.

I'm not much in the mood for any of this today, to tell you the truth, dear reader(s). On Mondays, I normally work on a conceptual after lunch and into the night, but ... 'You're not sure today, boss?' I'll see how I feel after my lunch. Sainsbury's have got those long cheese roll things, sometimes. And sometimes not. If they've got one today, it will put me in a good mood and I'll probably write all day. On the other hand, if it's just some horrible thin egg sandwich with a few bits of cress hanging out of it, I might play my guitar instead. / Obviously, you don't want to hear about all this, reader(s). Tough. 'They want to hear more about Ron Resnick.' Christ!

Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie! / Let's see. Let's have a look. There ain't much to say. I mean ...

Mr. Resnick is a 25-year veteran in managing alternative assets platforms. He co-founded CounselWorks LLC, a consulting company providing business strategy and regulatory advice to hedge funds, private equity firms, investment advisors and broker-dealers, which was sold to Duff & Phelps.

'What's that?' That's, er ... a press release thing I found. 'Oh.' Yeah, Ronnie has an impressive history and everyone loves him, but ... 'But?' But ... it's hard to love him this early on a Monday morning in winter. Do you know what I mean? 'Yeah. It ain't easy, Mikey. It's your job though.' Ha! My job! I should be rockin' in the free world, son, with the best of them. 'Have you finished your new demo yet?' Nearly. I still got to record two more songs. I've recorded two, and I'm very pleased with them. It won't be long now.

...

Ah, that's it. Anything else? What am I listening to? I'm listening to Leonard Cohen's Songs From A Room. This is the album I used to play all the time in Cornwall. From an earlier post (2013) -

When I stayed in Cornwall for two months, over twenty years ago, in winter, no work, just living off savings, I had soup every day for lunch. Then I went to the pub in Polperro. I had a couple of ciders and read the paper. Then I went and sat on the bench overlooking the sea, and I ate chocolate limes while listening to Leonard Cohen's Songs From A Room and staring at the mist. 'Two months of that!' Probably the best time of my life.

Soup! Oh, those were the days!

Thursday 17 November 2016

ETFs' impact on markets: What does Mihir Kapadia say?

Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Thursday afternoon PR email, back by popular demand, just as I promised. 'Don't forget you demanded this shit, blog fans!' Okay, thank you, Voice. I don't need your input. / Right. Mihir Kapadia, CEO and founder of Sun Global Investments, is an expert. 'Great!' So whatever he says is going to be interesting, if not downright fascinating.

"Some investors in the market still don't necessarily understand the huge advantages ETFs can offer investors: the bottom line is that ETFs gives investors access to an index. In response to those not convinced by ETFs, I would reiterate that their attraction is that they offer different investors different solutions to different investor types - if an investor is looking to allocate funds to the Indian growth story then perhaps the Sun Global Zyfin Indian Fixed Income ETF will give the necessary exposure to express this investment decision. However if a trader wanting to immediately express a view on Brexit, employment numbers or any other price moving news, that trader is more likely to buy or sell the FTSE100 ETF rather than buy or sell individual stocks."

Of course, our Mihar is the big man at Sun Global. 'Ha!' He's going to be crazy about the Sun Global Zyfin Indian Fixed Income ETF, ain't he? / Anyway, let's continue -

"Why? Because the ETF immediately delivers exposure, long or short, to 100 stocks, otherwise the trader has to type in 100 buy or 100 sell orders in the correct stock weightings and execute all 100 trades at the same time to achieve the same result as simply using an ETF. So the ETF can be used as an asset allocation tool or a trading tool, but blaming the ETF for its simplicity of use and ease of use is unfair when in fact it is successfully delivering cheap and liquid access to what the investor wants."

All right, Mihar. Fair enough. / 'What about the phone call, boss?' What bloody phone call?! 'Natasha said you could have a phone call.' Oh, the PR girl. What, with her, like? 'No, with Mr Kapadia.' Uh, no thanks. I got nothing against the guy, but he's not a lovely Natasha, is he? 'Er, how do you know this one is lovely?' Because I've never met a Natasha that wasn't.

Oh, about Sun Global Investments ...

Sun Global Investments Ltd. is an international financial services firm based in London, providing a full scope of services to institutional investors, corporate companies, family offices and high net worth individuals. Established in 2008, in the midst of turmoil in the financial services industry, Sun Global identified lucrative investment opportunities in emerging market corridors and has since established itself as a trusted boutique firm for investors looking to take advantage of these versatile markets.

'Nice.' Yeah. / Well, I've done my duty for another week. 'Now you can rest.' Ha! I got my guitar to play, son. I'm going to be rockin' in the free world all weekend. There's no rest for the wicked.

Laters, everyone. I mean, real laters, until Monday. 'Bye!'

Bill Gross says Donald Trump's presidency will damage America

And it won't help the people who voted him in, all the blue collar types. Well, that's obvious, dear reader(s). It's the same as Brexit over here. People were voting for stuff they didn't completely understand. Life is going to get harder for ordinary people now. While the rich ... 'The rich will get richer, boss.' Of course they will, Voice! It's the same old story. Someone get a message to me when the world stops being corrupt, and I'll listen. Until then, I'll continue working on my spaceship ... so I can get out of this shithole, you dig? 'Oh, have you really got a spaceship?' No, not really. 'Ah, is it a metaphorical spaceship, like Kanye's?' Ha! Maybe, man. I'm gonna get free! Y'all don't know my struggle. Y'all can't match my hustle. You can't catch my hustle. You can't fathom my love, dude. 'Okay.' Yeah.

...

Anything else? 'What?! Is that it? Come on, Mikey, play the game.' Well, I mean, there's no interesting news around, much. 'Shame.' I'll be doing a PR email later. 'About what?' I don't know. I've got loads of them. I'll have to analyze them and pick the best one. Or maybe just do a lucky dip.

Brexit? Christ! If you insist, dear reader(s). It's obvious now that there is ABSOLUTELY NO PLAN. 'Ha!' The government has no idea what it is doing. 'Everyone, all the ministers, are saying different stuff, boss.' Yes, Voice, and it's all shit. No one has said anything that makes sense.

...

Well, well ... / Music update? My metaphorical spaceship is nearly done. It's been nice knowing you all. However, nothing lasts forever. 'Are you going?!' Ha! Not yet. No, not yet, my little invisible friend. But soon. 'Can I come with you?' Into a world of solid rock, or pop? Maybe. I'll think about it. 'Every good rock and roll shaman needs a spirit guide, Mikey. A mentor!' Mentor? I might choose Jim as my mentor. He's got leather trousers. 'Oh.' Astral ones, obviously.

Laters, blog fan(s), pop fan(s). Let me have my lunch, then I'll lay a PR email on you, for your sins.

Tuesday 15 November 2016

[No. 465] I don't live in a golden world

I live in the gutter.

And ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[1], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[2], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[2], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![1], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[2], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[1], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![2], and do you need to know all the right people?[1], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[2], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[1], and do you need to know all the right people?[2], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[1], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[2], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[1], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[2], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![1], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[2], and, so ... COME ON!!![1], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![2], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[1], and, so ... COME ON!!![2], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[1], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[1], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[2], and you can spin yourself clean[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[2], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[1], and you can spin yourself clean[2], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[1], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[2], and ... visions?[1], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[2], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[1], and ... visions?[2], and ... one spin![1], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[2], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[3], and ... one spin![2], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[3], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[3], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![3], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[3], and do you need to know all the right people?[3], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[3], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[3], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[3], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![3], and, so ... COME ON!!![3], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[3], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[3], and you can spin yourself clean[3], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[3], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[3], and ... visions?[3], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[3], and ... one spin![3], and

And ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[1], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[2], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[2], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![1], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[2], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[1], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![2], and do you need to know all the right people?[1], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[2], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[1], and do you need to know all the right people?[2], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[1], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[2], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[1], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[2], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![1], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[2], and, so ... COME ON!!![1], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![2], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[1], and, so ... COME ON!!![2], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[1], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[1], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[2], and you can spin yourself clean[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[2], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[1], and you can spin yourself clean[2], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[1], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[2], and ... visions?[1], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[2], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[1], and ... visions?[2], and ... one spin![1], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[2], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[3], and ... one spin![2], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[3], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[3], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![3], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[3], and do you need to know all the right people?[3], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[3], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[3], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[3], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![3], and, so ... COME ON!!![3], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[3], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[3], and you can spin yourself clean[3], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[3], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[3], and ... visions?[3], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[3], and ... one spin![3], and

And ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[1], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[2], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[1], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[2], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![1], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[2], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[1], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![2], and do you need to know all the right people?[1], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[2], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[1], and do you need to know all the right people?[2], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[1], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[2], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[1], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[2], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![1], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[2], and, so ... COME ON!!![1], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![2], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[1], and, so ... COME ON!!![2], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[1], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[1], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[2], and you can spin yourself clean[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[2], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[1], and you can spin yourself clean[2], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[1], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[2], and ... visions?[1], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[2], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[1], and ... visions?[2], and ... one spin![1], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[2], and ... yeah, the gutter, the gutter, the gutter[3], and ... one spin![2], and, well ... no one knows the troubles I've seen / and I've seen a lot, believe me[3], and, uh ... not really the gutter, but I ain't shooting to the top in a golden lift, you dig?[3], and ... at least not yet, no, not yet, but ... / ... I'm still dreaming of Malibu, my friend(s)![3], and how do you get those billions? / and how do you become the president?[3], and do you need to know all the right people?[3], and, Christ! ... / I'm afraid I know all the wrong people[3], and some of them, well ... / Ha! Better not say, yeah?[3], and maybe you're in the gutter, too / but not really the gutter, maybe a small flat, or a big house[3], and certainly not in a golden palace ... ?![3], and, so ... COME ON!!![3], and I know you believe in miracles / and, kook(s), look at me, I'm a miracle[3], and here we are ... just like old times, all times[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... away from all the dirt[3], and you can spin yourself clean[3], and one day, baby ... one day, one day ... / uh, how many days to get free?[3], and not even talking beyond the THREE, man / maybe not even totally GONE(!)[3], and ... visions?[3], and in pictures ... I've seen the golden sands of Malibu / and I'm still waiting for my ship to come in[3], and ... one spin![3], and