Thursday, 20 April 2017

Malta is the place to be, apparently

Yeah, Malta. 'Malta?! Who says, boss?' The PR people. 'Oh, I should have guessed. You can't believe everything they say. Or anything.' What?! Why not? 'They're PR people.' Shut up, Voice! You know nothing about it. They're very kindly supplying me with "news" while my ribs are bad. / Anyway ...

New research by Managing Partners Group (MPG), the international asset management group, shows more than 7 in 10 (73%) institutional investors believe Brexit will be 'hard', including 29% who believe it will be 'very hard'.

You see? 'Er, no, not really. There's no mention of Malta, man.' Christ! Look at this, you idiot! -

82% believe Brexit will lead to a rise in the number of UK financial services firms setting up subsidiary offices in the EU.

44% believe that UK asset managers specifically will probably get to passport their funds into the EU after Brexit, around 30% believe this will not happen.

The most important considerations for those UK companies looking to set up another operation elsewhere include a comprehensive legal and regulatory framework (78%), followed by the tax regime (52%) and economic stability (42%).


You see, Voice? 'There's no mention of Malta, boss!' Jesus H. - !!! Jeremy Leach says Malta is the place to be, and I believe him. 'Who?!' Jeremy Leach. We've had him on before. 'Oh.' He's the CEO of MPG. 'Okay.' Bloody hell!

Jeremy Leach, Chief Executive Officer at MPG, commented: "Although a sizeable minority in our survey believe UK asset managers will be able to passport their funds in the EU after Brexit I think this will be unlikely - current members of the European Economic Area such as Switzerland, Liechtenstein and Norway do not have this privilege. As such, many asset managers and other UK financial services companies will look to establish a secondary entity somewhere in Europe post-Brexit and Malta should certainly be on the list of serious options."

You see, you fucking idiot?! Malta is one of the serious options. 'All right, all right. You've made your point, boss.' And Kenny Farrugia agrees with our Jeremy. 'Who?!' Kenny Farrugia.

Kenneth Farrugia, Chairman of Finance Malta, commented: "Malta's proposition as an international financial centre has continued to enjoy momentum, as evidenced by the sustained growth experienced in 2016 and the conduit of international business operations currently seeking an investment services licence through the Malta Financial Services Authority. This success of Malta's financial services industry has been driven by a number of factors, including the presence of a comprehensive regulatory legal and framework, the work ethos and skills of the human resources in Malta, the accessibility to the Regulator and its pro-business approach, Malta's cost competitiveness as well as political and economic stability."

You see? 'Yeah. Kenneth Farrugia.' Yeah, our Kenny. Whatever. 'And what does Joe Portelli say?' Ha, ha. I've no idea. Who the hell is Joe Portelli? 'Uh, Christ.' Ha!

...

Well, well ... it's the end of the week, dear reader(s), thank God! And, yeah, yeah ... my ribs are still hurting.

I've been playing my guitar for half an hour a day. I can't risk more until I'm feeling better.

Never mind. I'm staying positive. 'Great!' God is on my side. I'm utterly convinced.

Later(s), crocodile(s).

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

[No. 505] My mind is on music

My whole consciousness is fixed on music.

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

Silver Lake Partners V - ?!

NOW this is what I'm talking about - !!! Silver Lake has raised an incredible amount of money for its fifth buyout fund. 'How much, boss? $1 billion?' Ha! 'All right. $2 billion then.' Ha! Ha! 'Er ... $3 billion? Not $3 billion, surely?' Ha! Ha! Ha! Christ! I feel like Count von Count from Sesame Street. 'How much, boss? FFS!' Okay, okay. $15 billion, Voice. 'You're having a laugh, man. Silver Lake must be having a laugh.' No, I'm serious. And they're serious. $15 billion. 'Wow!' They actually wanted $12.5 billion, but they just went nuts and went for the cool $15 billion, you dig? You've got to take your hat off to them. 'I haven't got a hat, boss.' Haven't you got an astral hat, for your astral head? 'Yeah, I've got an astral hat, which I wear on my astral head, sometimes, special occasions, like.' Well, put it on, because this is a special occasion, man. 'Okay.' Now take it off.

Sorry, reader(s). I can't get the staff. / Anyway, Silver Lake ...

Silver Lake is the global leader in technology investing, with about $39 billion in combined assets under management and committed capital and a team of approximately 100 investment and value creation professionals located around the world. Dedicated to the thesis that the dynamism and rapid pace of innovation in global technology demand intensely focused domain expertise, Silver Lake differentiates itself from generalist investment firms by devoting its full scope of talent and intellectual capital to the singular mission of investing in the world’s leading technology companies and tech-enabled businesses. Applying the strategic insights of an experienced industry participant, the operating skill of a world-class management team, and the investing capabilities of a leading private equity firm, Silver Lake leverages the deep knowledge and expertise of a global team based in Silicon Valley, New York, London, Hong Kong, and Tokyo.

And, uh ... 'Peckham?' No, no. Where was I? 'Are you going to take your hat off, boss?' I don't have a hat. 'You have a cap. That green one.' It's in my rucksack, in the wardrobe. 'Well, get it out!' No, no. I can't be bothered. 'Oh, but you want me -' Shut up, you bloody idiot! / Jesus H. - !!! I'm just going to wish the Silver Lake guys all the best with the new fund. 'Okay. Go on then.' / Hey, Silver Lake guys, all the best, yeah?

That should do it.

...

Anything else? No, not really. I'll be writing, spinning ... No. 505 later. I want to get the work done quickly this week, so I can deal with my pain, yeah, rest a bit until the weekend, and then maybe start playing the guitar again on Sunday. I ain't got all the time in the world, kook(s).

Anyway, laters.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

[No. 504] Heaven or hell ... ?

Oh, I'm back in hell.

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

NOW Money wins some award, apparently

Due to ill health, I'm doing another PR email this morning. 'You don't want the strain of looking around for news, do you, boss?' I certainly don't, Voice. I just want it handed to me on a plate by the lovely Bryony.

London, April 17, 2017 - NOW Money (NOW), has won the financial inclusion category of Pitch360, a competition at the Innovate Finance Global Summit 2017.

Fine. I'm sure they deserved it.

The competition took place on 11th April 2017 at the Guildhall in London, UK, and saw 24 FinTech startups compete for one of the eight winning spots covering different areas of FinTech, including Artificial Intelligence, Global Financial Inclusion, Block Chain, Personal Finance, Cross Border Payments, P2P Funding, Cyber Security and RegTech.

FinTech again. Bloody hell!

Ian Dillon, Co-Founder of NOW, gave the six-minute pitch, where he explained how the company's FinTech offering will bank the "unbanked" population of the UAE using mobile technology to solve the current problem in the Middle East. He also explained how the solution could be instrumental in increasing security and reducing money laundering.

Okay.

Ian was selected as the winner of the Financial Inclusion category due to his clear and concise explanation of the situation, and by showing how NOW is using the latest technology to provide a solution for this large, 26 million-strong neglected population group, which helps not only those who are excluded but will indirectly benefit their families overseas, including through access to credit.

Well done, Ian, mate! 'Don't he have nothing to say for himself, boss?' Oh, I'm sure he does. His type always do.

"It was a pleasure to introduce NOW to a whole new audience," said Mr. Dillon. "We've had lots of exposure across the GCC and there's currently a huge buzz around the FinTech sector. To be able to demonstrate NOW to industry experts in London and globally was so exciting for us. It's hard to explain the situation to those who don't live in the Middle East and experience the problem first hand, so to sum it up in six-minutes was a challenge to say the least! But we're thrilled with the overwhelming positive response; the support we receive from a network of partners, particularly Innovate Finance, is phenomenal and so important in helping us to be part of solving the financial inclusion problem globally."

All right, that's enough.

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? Don't talk to me about guitar. I've been on the NHS website and I've got a fractured or bruised rib or something. 'Are you going to hospital then, Mikey?' No, Voice, I'm not. I'm going to deal with it using the "Lee Marvin Method" like last time when I had that fractured collarbone. 'A bottle of whisky and a broad?' Yes. That's all I need, man.

Talking of injuries ... I was watching The Sweeney the other week where some villain gets shot in the leg and has to be treated by a dodgy doctor. As good as the show is, the dialogue is often pretty rubbish, but there's a funny bit where the injured villain's co-villain or whatever is telling Mr Big about the shooting. He isn't actually called Mr Big. He's just the boss character, played by that brilliant Grouty guy from Porridge. Anyway, the co-villain says to Grouty, "He's in a bad way." And Grouty replies, with one of his superb menacing looks, "You're both in a bad way, son." Ha!

Monday, 17 April 2017

Don't miss TradeTech, Mikey!

Okay, okay ... / It's less than two weeks away! Uh ... even less now. One week, my dear reader(s)! 'Hang on! Who said that, boss?' Eh? What? 'Who, who said ... "Don't miss TradeTech, Mikey!" ... ?' Me, Voice. 'Oh, okay. So you're talking to yourself now?' Well, Charlotte said it, sort of. 'Who in the name of Christ is Charlotte?!' Don't get upset, you little idiot. Charlotte is the PR woman who sent me the invitation. 'What fucking invitation?!' Jesus H . - !!! The invitation to TradeTech in Paris. 'Paris?! Are you going then?' Ha! No. 'Oh.' I can still write about it though ...

Invitation: TradeTech - 2 WEEKS AWAY

WHEN: 25th-26th April 2017

WHERE: Palais des Congrès de Paris


You see? Next Tuesday and Wednesday. In Paris, too. 'Great! Who are the keynote speakers?' Keynote? Er ...

Jeff Jonas, Former IBM Fellow and Chief Scientist of Context Computing has been announced as one of the Keynote Speakers at this year's TradeTech Europe.

And ... 'Yeah. That's one of them, boss.' Shut up! And -

Additional Keynote Speakers include:

Rt Hon Nicky Morgan MP

Nicky has recently been known for her support for the 'Remain' campaign during Brexit and support for the EU. She will be discussing what impact Brexit will have on Britain as well as Europe's financial market.

Eric Boss, Global Head of Trading, Allianz Global Investors

Eric will be disclosing in our day one opening interview how he is preparing all trading activities for the upcoming MiFID II requirements and how he is navigating the differing requirements of the varying asset classes they trade.


In our day? What does that mean? 'Our day one.' Oh, right. Of course. I thought ... never mind. 'And you're going to miss it, all this. In Paris, too.' Well ...

Why you cannot miss TradeTech 2017

A world class speaker faculty made up of more buy side representatives than at any other event including experts from Invesco, T.Rowe Price, Generali Investments, Standard Life Investors, Amundi Asset Management and many more sharing their insights on how to build a world class equity trading desk.

Direct feedback from regulators on how to comply with impending regulations, including commentary from an impressive list of guest speakers, on how MiFID II is driving transparency in the financial market and creating the much needed market structure reform.

TradeTech Europe 2017 will bring together 1000+ equity trading leaders from the full value chain - key regulators, buy side, sell side, venues and technology partners - all exclusively under one roof. Only at TradeTech Europe will you have the opportunity to rub shoulders with those shaping the future of your market.


So, er ... yeah, I'm going to miss it. 'Shame.' Well, maybe they should have asked me to be a keynote speaker, you know? I'm available, at the right price.

Never mind.

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? I can't play my guitar too much at the moment because I fell over in the street last week and banged my ribs, arm, hand, and cut my goddamn knee. 'Daydreaming again, Mikey?' No. Well, maybe. But my Timberland boots make me clumsy, man. 'Don't wear them then.' Ha! I'll never give up my boots. They're a part of my image. 'But you're not a rapper!' Oh, I'm bad though. No one messes with me, anyway.

Laters. Enjoy the last few hours of Easter, reader(s).

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Compte-Nickel signs a partnership agreement for the acquisition of 95% of its shares by BNP Paribas

Right. It's the last post of the week, and then I'm taking a week off. I'll see you after Easter, dear reader(s). Probably on the Monday. But let's do this!

The French fintech company, which has developed a unique universal offering for current account and payment services in real-time, has succeeded in creating more than 540,000 bank accounts in three years. Its partnership with BNP Paribas will help it accelerate new customer acquisition, with a target of two million accounts open by 2020. Compte-Nickel has been supported by Partech Ventures since 2015 and by Eight Roads Ventures since 2016.

They want two million accounts. They're ambitious, aren't they? 'Is this a PR email, boss?' Of course it is, Voice. 'Great!' Uh, yeah.

Since 2015, Partech Ventures has been attracted by the complementary expertise of Compte Nickel's founders Ryad Boulanouar and Hugues Le Bret, and especially by the social inclusion dimension of their project. From the beginning, Compte-Nickel went against the model of most retail banks in the fintech sector, which were often pure-players betting on the conversion of pre-qualified users into customers.

Well, obviously, that all sounds great, but ... 'What's the problem, boss?' Man, I just ... 'Come on, Mikey! Spit it out!' Well ... I would like to hear what Philippe Collombel has got to say about this, you know? It's just a shame I don't have his phone number or even his email address. 'Ha! Boss, you're an idiot! Look at this -'

"The intuition of the founders, their understanding of an unexplored opportunity in the French banking sector, and the way they have managed to deploy their operations is impressive. Compte-Nickel has been the fastest-growing retail banking fintech in Europe and it has overcome the most difficult barrier to entry in this sector, customer trust, without any marketing investment", said Philippe Collombel, Co-Managing Partner, Partech Ventures.

Brilliant! Have you been speaking to him, Voice? 'No, it's in the email. I swear you don't read these things properly. You're so lucky that you've got me.' Yeah, right. My intern, my hero. / Oh, look who it is! 'Who?' Davor Hebel!

"Compte-Nickel is not a company, it's a movement which is changing the face of banking in France. It has been an honour to work with a fintech company that seeks to bank the many rather than the few, using a model that other countries could learn from. This news shows great foresight by BNP Paribas and we wish the Compte-Nickel team all the best for the future" added Davor Hebel, Managing Partner, Eight Roads Ventures Europe.

What about that, dear reader(s), eh? Davor Hebel! 'You're spoiling them, boss.' Ha! They ain't seen nothing yet. We've got Hugues Le Bret, too! 'Fucking hell!' Yeah.

"Partech Ventures was the first VC to believe in Compte-Nickel: the team have supported us since September 2015 and accompanied us in all strategic decisions, including when they introduced us to the BNP Paribas group. They also introduced us to Arnaud Giraudon who became the Managing Director of the company", commented Hugues Le Bret, President of Financière des Paiements Electroniques (Compte-Nickel).

The first VC to believe. Wow! / Thanks, Hugues, mate! / Okay, that's enough.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to Oasis, The Masterplan. Except for the few songs I don't like that much.

My music? Guitar? After my week off, I'm going to go mental on my guitar. I've got no choice now.

So it is written, so it shall be done!

Laters.

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

[No. 503] I'm going beyond the THREE!

I may be some time.

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and

Holocene Advisors - ?!

Oh, it's a new hedge fund, dear reader(s). And it's just started trading! 'Great!' Oh, hello, Voice. I bet you can't guess what its assets under management is/are. 'Ha! I don't have to guess. Holocene Advisors has $1 billion AUM.' Ha! You're wrong, idiot! It has $1.5 billion AUM. 'What?!' Yeah. More than expected. How do you feel now? 'Surprised, boss.' Well, these things happen, man.

Oh, uh ... the fund was founded by Brandon Haley. 'Who's he?' He's just some cat in America who works in finance. Just like all the others. New York, I believe. I mean, that's where the fund is based. And you won't believe what Bloomberg says about our Brandon. 'Go on.' Oh, Jesus. Okay -

This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 1 different industries.

'Christ!' Yeah. Same old story. However, I've been doing some research of my own, and I can tell the lovely readers that Brandon was the head of global equities at Citadel. 'Great!' And before that he was at North Sound Capital. 'Er ... great!' And before that he was at Goldman Sachs. 'Great!' So ... 'And before that, boss?' I don't know. School, I suppose. University. I don't know.

Oh, uh ... a bit more information. It's a long/short equity strategy, they've got, focused on consumer, industrials, and TMT companies. 'TMT?' Technology, media, and telecom. 'Oh. Nice.' Yeah.

Well, well ... / Obviously, I wish Brandon and his crew all the best. It's not easy starting a new hedge fund these days. 'Rather him than me.' Ha! You would have trouble selling matches at the end of the street, Voice. 'Well, most people use lighters.' Shut up! You would have trouble running a whelk stall.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to The Rolling Stones, 12 X 5. An early album. The best song on it is It's All Over Now, written by Bobby and Shirley Womack.

My music? Guitar? Well, I've done an average of one hour and forty minutes of playing every day for the last three years, but I reckon that it ain't enough, man. I'm going to have to find a way to get it up to three hours a day. 'Easy!' It's actually very difficult because if you miss a day through illness or something, you have to do six hours the next day to recover your average. 'Oh.' It's a total pain in the arse, but I need to be better on guitar, you dig?

All the things I've got to do ...

Uh, laters.

Monday, 3 April 2017

[No. 502] The sea

Just stare at it. That's my advice.

And the sea doesn't care about us[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[1], and the sea doesn't care about us[2], and the sea lives in a world of its own[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[2], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[1], and the sea lives in a world of its own[2], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[1], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[1], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[2], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[2], and are you a kook?[1], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[2], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[1], and are you a kook?[2], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[1], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[2], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[1], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[2], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[1], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[2], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[1], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![1], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[2], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![2], and gone, we'll all be gone[1], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[2], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[1], and gone, we'll all be gone[2], and it's for eternity![1], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[2], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[1], and it's for eternity![2], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[1], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[2], and one more for the sea![1], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[2], and the sea doesn't care about us[3], and one more for the sea![2], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[3], and the sea lives in a world of its own[3], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[3], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[3], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[3], and are you a kook?[3], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[3], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[3], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[3], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[3], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![3], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[3], and gone, we'll all be gone[3], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[3], and it's for eternity![3], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[3], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[3], and one more for the sea![3], and

And the sea doesn't care about us[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[1], and the sea doesn't care about us[2], and the sea lives in a world of its own[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[2], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[1], and the sea lives in a world of its own[2], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[1], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[1], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[2], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[2], and are you a kook?[1], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[2], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[1], and are you a kook?[2], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[1], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[2], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[1], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[2], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[1], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[2], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[1], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![1], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[2], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![2], and gone, we'll all be gone[1], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[2], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[1], and gone, we'll all be gone[2], and it's for eternity![1], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[2], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[1], and it's for eternity![2], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[1], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[2], and one more for the sea![1], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[2], and the sea doesn't care about us[3], and one more for the sea![2], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[3], and the sea lives in a world of its own[3], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[3], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[3], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[3], and are you a kook?[3], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[3], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[3], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[3], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[3], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![3], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[3], and gone, we'll all be gone[3], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[3], and it's for eternity![3], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[3], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[3], and one more for the sea![3], and

And the sea doesn't care about us[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[1], and the sea doesn't care about us[2], and the sea lives in a world of its own[1], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[2], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[1], and the sea lives in a world of its own[2], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[1], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[1], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[2], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[2], and are you a kook?[1], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[2], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[1], and are you a kook?[2], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[1], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[2], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[1], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[2], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[1], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[2], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[1], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![1], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[2], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![2], and gone, we'll all be gone[1], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[2], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[1], and gone, we'll all be gone[2], and it's for eternity![1], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[2], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[1], and it's for eternity![2], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[1], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[2], and one more for the sea![1], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[2], and the sea doesn't care about us[3], and one more for the sea![2], and ... well, it doesn't know about us, does it? / oh, I'm not saying it's heartless or anything[3], and the sea lives in a world of its own[3], and maybe it's like the cosmos, or God / or God/cosmos ...[3], and YOU(!) are in my conscious ness nesses, and maybe I don't know about you ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to know, really know[3], and what is there to know about you? / and what makes you different from all the squares?[3], and are you a kook?[3], and are you incredibly mystical? / Do you have strange feelings? I mean stranger than most?[3], and are you a BIG NOTHING?[3], and so, so, so ... go, go, go ... look at the sea / you don't have all the time in the world[3], and you could have all the time in this conceptual ...[3], and if you love the sea, I won't call you a waster[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've got to really love the sea / and remember Rod Steiger![3], and a man staring at the sea for five years, depressed out of his head, thinking of death no doubt ...[3], and gone, we'll all be gone[3], and are there billions of ghosts staring at the sea, dreaming of swimming? / and I can't swim anyway[3], and it's for eternity![3], and how many tides? / and how many spins?[3], and maybe in the harbour, just maybe ... we will find ... a friendly seal[3], and one more for the sea![3], and

Institutional investors have concerns over inflation eroding bond yields

Well, well ... / BUT(!!!) what percentage of institutional investors?!?! ... you may be wondering, dear reader(s). 'Ha!' Well, wonder no more, my friend(s)!

NEW RESEARCH SHOWS 98% OF INSTITUTIONAL INVESTORS FEAR INFLATION WILL ERODE REAL BOND YIELDS.

Christ! Steve, will you cut it out with the capitals, man?! It's far too early in the morning. 'Who's Steve, boss?' He's the PR guy, Voice. / Steve, mate, have mercy. Please!

Virtually all (98%) institutional investors globally have some degree of concern that inflation will reduce the real value of bond yields over the next 12 to 24 months, new research by Managing Partners Group (MPG), the international asset management group, has revealed.

That's better. Thanks, man!

In order to address these concerns, just over a third (37%) say they will increase their exposure to higher yielding assets such as fixed asset backed securities (ABSs), the research shows. Of those who plan to increase their exposure to fixed income ABSs, 58% say they will do so because of the high level of income they generate; 53% say it is because the vehicles are attractive on a risk-return basis; and 41% cite diversification benefits.

Fair enough. I suppose they know what they're doing. / Let's skip a bit. Why are there numbers in brackets? I've deleted them, but - 'Maybe they got the idea from you, boss. Your conceptual stuff.' My stuff makes sense though. 'Oh, okay.' Yeah.

The research also shows that 37% of institutional investors anticipate that fund managers will increasingly issue fixed income ABSs to raise their own assets under management, versus just 11% who disagree with this. The primary reason for this expectation, given by 47%, was that ABS issuance allows fund managers to raise money under different regulatory regimes. Other reasons given included that it is much easier to raise money through ABSs rather than market funds in a highly competitive market (41%); they give the ability to target different sectors of the investment community (29%); and because monies raised are held for fixed terms, this means that investments can be planned more effectively (29%) and liquidity managed more easily (18%).

All right. All right. / I'll skip the bit about their office in Malta. 'Eh? Whose office in Malta?!' These guys, the MPG guys. However, I think Jeremy Leach has something he needs to say. 'Who?!' Christ! Jeremy Leach! FFS!

Jeremy Leach, Chief Executive Officer at MPG, commented: "The securities market, and fixed income asset back securities in particular, are set for substantial growth in Europe in the next few years. Fixed income ABSs provide the higher yields needed to tackle inflation while being secured against real underlying assets, which investors find reassuring. Governments are also putting legislation in place to promote them because of the role they play as an alternative source of finance to banks, which is particularly helpful for SMEs." 

 
Thanks, Jeremy! 'Er ... he's still talking, boss.' Bloody hell!

"MPG's capital markets team has identified particular opportunities for mid-sized issues backed by SMEs and esoteric assets and there is significant interest from businesses in the burgeoning fintech sector looking to fund themselves beyond the traditional bank market."

Well, okay. Thanks, Jeremy! I really appreciate it. 'Boss.' Shit! Will he ever stop?!

"We will also see fund managers increasingly use them as a straightforward means of raising assets under management that are 'stickier' and therefore help them manage their investment strategies and liquidity much more easily."

Is that it now, son? Jeremy? Jeremy? 'He's gone.' Well, he's gone, dear reader(s). I should imagine he's exhausted after all that. / You have a lie down, Jeremy! You deserve it.

The things people do for finance ...

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Sunday evening thoughts ...

Yeah, just some Sunday evening thoughts, man. And no finance, thank God! / I don't usually write on a Sunday, but I want to finish blogging by Wednesday this week. And then I'm taking a week off.

Well, well ... / So, Brexit is going well, isn't it? How many days has it been? Four or five? Spain wants Gibraltar, and the EU is backing Spain. I'll be surprised if a trade deal is possible now. The EU has all the power, and maybe they don't need ... uh, whatever it is we produce these days. So, no deal. Who would have guessed, eh? Er ... me! And, er ... the other 48 per cent of the population. But never mind. I'm sure the IMF will bail us out. And I'm sure some friendly countries will send food parcels.

Oh, oh ... this is very funny.

Jesus H. Christ! / Of course, certain people might say that I should stop moaning. Well, here's the news: I ain't going to. Nigel Farage never ever stopped, did he? So why should the Remainers? And the funny thing is, I don't even love the EU or anything. I just hate starving and walking around dressed in rags, you dig?

And, and ... don't talk to me about the will of the people. Ha! I'm not buying that one. You can talk about the will of Rupert Murdoch, if you like. Or the will of Paul Dacre. But leave the people out of it!

...

Well, okay ... let's change the subject. I don't want to get all depressed on a lovely Sunday evening. How about music?

I'll put something on. Hang on.

Aladdin Sane by David Bowie. I haven't listened to this album for a while.

My music? Recording those two songs? Ha! I can't be bothered at the moment. 'Jesus H. Christ, Mikey!' Oh, hello, Voice. Let me have my week off first. I want to get my head together, man.

Anything else? Well, there's melancholic sunlight coming through the window, I can tell you that. 'You're melancholic, boss, not the sunlight.' Shut up! That's what I meant!

I'm not sure I'm in the mood for this piano ...

Let's put something else on ...

Oh, I forgot ... the EU is saying Scotland would be welcome, so ... and then there's Ireland. No, it's not looking very good at all.

Oh, yeah ... Roxy Music. 'The song?' What? 'The song, Oh Yeah - ?' Er, no. The Stranded album. 'Oh.' Yeah.

Anyway ... I'm not even sure about Malibu now, with that Trump in charge over there.

Maybe I'll end up in Spain ... in Jim Maclaine's castle!