Thursday, 29 March 2018

Brexit and the finance industry

Okay, okay. The Brexit clock is ticking. We all know that. Simon Black knows it, for sure. 'Who on earth is Simon Black, boss?!' Bloody hell! Simon Black is CEO of PPRO Group, Voice. 'Oh. Sorry. I didn't know. / Is this a PR email?' You bet your ass it is! Last post of the week, too. And then it's Easter! 'Yippee!' Yeah. Big Time. / Anyway ...

Simon Black, CEO of PPRO Group: "Today (29th March) marks a year until Brexit is officially implemented, but there is still a way for the UK Government to go in negotiations to provide some measure of continuity and certainty for the markets. Clearly, everyone understands that after the likely transition, the UK is leaving the EU."

Sadly, yes. Unless there's a miracle. 'What are the chances of that?' I don't know, man. People might wake up. / Anyway, Simon says -

"But it has also been obvious for some time that the final departure wouldn't be completed by March 2019. That being the case, businesses have had to assume that either there would be a transition, probably involving the UK as a rule-taker within the single market and the customs union, or Britain would crash out of the EU without a deal. Companies, including fintechs and other financial firms which rely on having access to EU markets through "passporting rights", (the free movement of services within the European Union) cannot afford to wait any longer to see what the final EU-UK relationship will look like, before deciding on whether to move. Whilst of course we will remain in the UK post-Brexit, we have been contingency planning since before the referendum and are now advanced with our operation in an alternative EU jurisdiction, Luxembourg, to future proof the company, against a worst-case scenario."

Ah, passporting rights! Will we be able to keep those?

"Financial Services is one of the biggest and most important sectors for the UK. If passporting can continue it will guarantee much of the UK's economic growth. PPRO Group processes many kinds of payments for consumers and businesses. As a financial institution we need a financial licence with permission to operate across the European Union. Unless passporting financial services continues after Brexit day, we will be forced to fully activate our operation in Luxembourg and transfer much of our business out of the UK."

Well, our Simon is being diplomatic in his language, but ... 'But what, boss?!' I don't think we'll keep passporting rights, so that means loads of financial businesses will leave Britain. 'Damn!' The good news is, we'll still have pound shops, bookies, pawn shops ... 'Is that a joke, boss?' Yes, Voice, it is. 'Ha!' We'll probably need our sense of humour a year from now.

Okay, alligator(s). Have a nice weekend!

Is Bitcoin still around?

Well, well ... / We, uh ... haven't heard much about Bitcoin lately, dear reader(s), have we? 'That's because the price is right down, boss. Just over £5,000.' Oh dear.

But gold is still popular! And this isn't an endorsement, by the way. 'We know, boss. You don't do endorsements. You're a man of great integrity.' Yes, thank you, Voice. / Anyway -

Investment firm The Pure Gold Company has seen a 34% increase in financial professionals buying physical gold over the last three days citing worries that a potential trade war between the US and China could impact global equities if the conflict escalates further. 

Okay, okay. I think this PR email is a couple of days old. I've had a migraine, and I've been messing about with the action on my acoustic guitar. More of that later. / Anyway -

Despite some recent easing of the tension, the gold price has continued to rise as a weak dollar in the US and the widening diplomatic row with Russia have spurred investors to seek a safe haven in gold. In sterling terms, gold has risen 2% in the past week and was still on the rise Tuesday morning.

Yeah, Tuesday. Who cares?! 'No one!' Good. / Now, I wonder what Josh Saul has got to say for himself ...

CEO Josh Saul said: "Many of our financial clients, especially those in banking, have cited the fear of trade war contagion spreading throughout the rest of the globe, with a possible retaliation from China having extreme consequences for the global economy. Even as the tensions have begun to ease a little, our clients are still looking to hedge against uncertainty, because the situation could escalate again."

Ha! With Trump in charge, anything is possible. I'm buying baked beans, me. 'How many tins do you have now?' It would be better to ask how many rooms are full. 'Christ!' You've got to be prepared, son. In today's world, like. / Anyway ...

"We've also seen a 43% increase in first time investors who work in financial services purchase physical gold over the last 14 days, citing concerns that the demise of Toys R US and Maplin, and the difficulties facing Prezzo may not be isolated. People are concerned that other large UK companies may follow suit and fear the implications of escalating unemployment, declining UK GDP and a weakening sterling currency. The real danger of course is slipping back into a recession which is something we are starting to hear a lot more of when people offer their motivations for purchasing physical gold instead of investing in the stock market."

Jesus H. - !!! Well, that's Brexit for you. The will of the people. Ain't it grand?

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? Well, I've been doing some surgery to my Yamaha acoustic (FG730s). 'Oh no!' Listen! Idiot! Like most acoustics you buy, the action was too high. (Meaning the strings are too far away from the fretboard, making the guitar hard to play.) I've lowered it by tightening the truss rod and shaving about two millimetres off the bottom of the saddle. This has affected the tone a bit. I don't know I like it - yet. However, the action is more comfortable for me now, and the guitar plays like ... BUTTER!!! 'Yippee!' Yes, Voice. / Oh, I've just ordered a Tusq saddle from Amazon. Even good acoustics come with cheap plastic saddles, but a Tusq one (£13) will really improve sound and playability.

Uh. Well, well ... / I'm not sure I should keep using Amazon. 'Why not, boss? Is it bad service?' No, the service is brilliant. 'Oh, is it the working conditions in their warehouses then?' Well, yes, there is that, but no, no ... 'What then?!' I just don't want to put any more money into Jeff Bezos' pocket, man. 'Oh.' I don't want to fund his rockets, you dig? 'Right. Well, that is understandable.' I suppose it doesn't matter, really. I'm convinced that Elon Musk will get to Mars first. He may be worth $20 billion, but he doesn't even need money. 'All he needs is a cave and a box of scraps!' Exactly!

Anyway, crocodile(s), last post of the week to come later, after dinner, quiche and chips. 'Nice.' Yeah. Laters!

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

[No. 598] This is actually risky, square(s)

But you shouldn't regret it.

And this ... yes![1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and this ... yes![2], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[1], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[2], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![1], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[2], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![1], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[1], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![2], and keep going, square(s)![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[2], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[1], and keep going, square(s)![2], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[1], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[2], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[1], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[2], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[1], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[2], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![1], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[2], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[1], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![2], and spin![1], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[2], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[1], and spin![2], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[1], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[2], and get real DIZZY(!)[1], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[2], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![1], and get real DIZZY(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[1], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![2], and you'll never be happy, will you?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[2], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[1], and you'll never be happy, will you?[2], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[1], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[2], and this ... yes![3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[2], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[3], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[3], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![3], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[3], and keep going, square(s)![3], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[3], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[3], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[3], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[3], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![3], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[3], and spin![3], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[3], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[3], and get real DIZZY(!)[3], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[3], and you'll never be happy, will you?[3], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[3], and

And this ... yes![1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and this ... yes![2], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[1], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[2], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![1], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[2], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![1], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[1], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![2], and keep going, square(s)![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[2], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[1], and keep going, square(s)![2], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[1], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[2], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[1], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[2], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[1], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[2], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![1], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[2], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[1], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![2], and spin![1], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[2], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[1], and spin![2], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[1], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[2], and get real DIZZY(!)[1], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[2], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![1], and get real DIZZY(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[1], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![2], and you'll never be happy, will you?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[2], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[1], and you'll never be happy, will you?[2], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[1], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[2], and this ... yes![3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[2], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[3], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[3], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![3], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[3], and keep going, square(s)![3], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[3], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[3], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[3], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[3], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![3], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[3], and spin![3], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[3], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[3], and get real DIZZY(!)[3], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[3], and you'll never be happy, will you?[3], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[3], and

And this ... yes![1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and this ... yes![2], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[1], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[1], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[2], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![1], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[2], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![1], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[1], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![2], and keep going, square(s)![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[2], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[1], and keep going, square(s)![2], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[1], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[2], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[1], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[2], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[1], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[2], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![1], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[2], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[1], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![2], and spin![1], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[2], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[1], and spin![2], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[1], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[2], and get real DIZZY(!)[1], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[2], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![1], and get real DIZZY(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[1], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![2], and you'll never be happy, will you?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[2], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[1], and you'll never be happy, will you?[2], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[1], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[2], and this ... yes![3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[2], and, yes, it is risky ... spinning a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I'm not talking to the kooks now, no, no, no[3], and YOU(!) could lose your mind ...[3], and the thing about me is, I lost my mind years ago, man / and, so, uh, what do I care?![3], and I care ... NOTHING(!!!), ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and the ultimate risk is beyond the THREE[3], and keep going, square(s)![3], and the damage is beautiful, sometimes[3], and don't be scared! / and there are worse things that losing your mind ... / and you'll be surprised how many people do without one[3], and it's free, you know? / and, uh ... your consciousness ness is my ness, yes[3], and at work, your boss will see THE NEW YOU(!)[3], and ... if you ever go to work again, ha![3], and don't forget: There is a massive cosmos out there, waiting for you to get a grip[3], and spin![3], and your wife, husband, partner, whatever ... might be alienated, a bit, but never mind, eh?[3], and leave them behind if they've got a problem[3], and get real DIZZY(!)[3], and there are so many opportunities for you now / and tell me you're happy, please![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... come on! / ... and it's not rocket science, son/daughter[3], and you'll never be happy, will you?[3], and, Christ! ... Kook(s), I can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I've tried my best, yes, yes[3], and

Emotional financial risk and regret

Right. Before we start -

The value of your investments can go down as well as up and you may not get back the full amount invested. Your capital may be at risk.


Let everybody understand that. Please!

Okay, okay. What's this, uh ... all about, dear reader(s)? 'Tell them!' It's a PR email, my friend(s)! 'Yippee!' Yes. Thank you, Voice. And this isn't an endorsement, by the way. 'Oh.' I don't do those. / Okay ...

As a nation, we take risks everyday however when it comes to our finances we often remain cautious according to a new study from Investec Click & Invest. The research which polled both investors and non-investors (with at least £10k in savings) found that while taking financial risks can positively transform people’s lives, over half of people (52%) don't make the decision to do so. For many, emotional barriers such as anxiety prevent them from making these decisions.

Fair enough. I mean, I know I'm cautious with money. 'Ha!' What, Voice? 'You're as cautious as Rod Stewart, you are, boss.' Shut up, idiot!

However, taking risks can have huge emotional impact, particularly financial risks. Women are generally more cautious in taking financial risks; a third (31%) feel anxious making these decisions in comparison to 21% of men. Feelings of nervousness are common between men and women with 29% and 21% comparatively. A sixth of women (17%) feel scared taking these risks (in contrast to 7% of men). Men generally view risk more positively, a fifth (20%) believe taking financial risks makes them feel in control (compared to 13% of women) while 17% of men feel confident taking these risks (compared to 7% of women).

Confidence, knowledge and experience are the key barriers to taking risks; a third of women (31%) believe lack of confidence holds them back from taking risks while fear of the unknown holds 35% of people back. A quarter (25%) believe lack of knowledge is a key barrier while some people are just happy with their lot; 31% believe they are happy with their life so don't want to take any more risks.


Yeah. Also, it should be pointed out that men can be absolute idiots with money. Look at Andy Capp! His poor wife, Flo, struggles to keep the house going, while he's either in the pub or the bookies - and no one can remember the last time he had a job! / Anyway, there's a lot of this email, you know, about how some people regret taking risks and that. It's obvious what's going on, so I think we'll just finish with a quote from our Jane -

Jane Warren, CEO, Investec Click & Invest comments: "Taking risks, particularly when it involves making big financial decisions can be really intimidating. But what our research has shown is that "taking the leap" to invest can pay dividends. Especially when it comes to achieving some of those key goals in life such as getting on the housing ladder and making provisions for the future. At Click & Invest we believe more needs to be done to educate potential investors about the benefits of investing so that it doesn't always feel like a giant leap and is an educated decision. We are passionate about empowering people to make these decisions and to begin improving their financial futures."

Okay, okay. Thank you, Jane. We'll take it under advisement.

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? I've been changing the way I hold the guitar lately, hand positions and the like, chords, the pick, so it all looks more professional. And it's easier and healthier, you dig? But it means another delay, obviously, getting rid of these bad habits, so ... Christ knows, yeah? I'm not worried about it. Elon had trouble with his rockets, and the cars, and the battery packs, and everything else. But you've got to keep going, man!

Laters.

Monday, 26 March 2018

[No. 597] Being normal is not for me

And not for YOU(!).

And it's a sin, for us[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[1], and it's a sin, for us[2], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[2], and don't be sad[1], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[2], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[1], and don't be sad[2], and spin without shame![1], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[2], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[1], and spin without shame![2], and I chose you, actually ...[1], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[2], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[1], and I chose you, actually ...[2], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[1], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[2], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![1], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[2], and smile, for me, please![1], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![2], and how does it feel to be so strange?[1], and smile, for me, please![2], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[1], and how does it feel to be so strange?[2], and talk about lucky![1], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[2], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[1], and talk about lucky![2], and never mind ... about, uh, them[1], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[2], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![1], and never mind ... about, uh, them[2], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[1], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![2], and I'm a genius, obviously[1], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![1], and I'm a genius, obviously[2], and well, well, well[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![2], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[1], and well, well, well[2], and ... keep going![1], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[2], and it's a sin, for us[3], and ... keep going![2], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[3], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[3], and don't be sad[3], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[3], and spin without shame![3], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[3], and I chose you, actually ...[3], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[3], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[3], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![3], and smile, for me, please![3], and how does it feel to be so strange?[3], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[3], and talk about lucky![3], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[3], and never mind ... about, uh, them[3], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![3], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[3], and I'm a genius, obviously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![3], and well, well, well[3], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[3], and ... keep going![3], and

And it's a sin, for us[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[1], and it's a sin, for us[2], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[2], and don't be sad[1], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[2], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[1], and don't be sad[2], and spin without shame![1], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[2], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[1], and spin without shame![2], and I chose you, actually ...[1], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[2], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[1], and I chose you, actually ...[2], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[1], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[2], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![1], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[2], and smile, for me, please![1], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![2], and how does it feel to be so strange?[1], and smile, for me, please![2], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[1], and how does it feel to be so strange?[2], and talk about lucky![1], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[2], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[1], and talk about lucky![2], and never mind ... about, uh, them[1], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[2], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![1], and never mind ... about, uh, them[2], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[1], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![2], and I'm a genius, obviously[1], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![1], and I'm a genius, obviously[2], and well, well, well[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![2], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[1], and well, well, well[2], and ... keep going![1], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[2], and it's a sin, for us[3], and ... keep going![2], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[3], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[3], and don't be sad[3], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[3], and spin without shame![3], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[3], and I chose you, actually ...[3], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[3], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[3], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![3], and smile, for me, please![3], and how does it feel to be so strange?[3], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[3], and talk about lucky![3], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[3], and never mind ... about, uh, them[3], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![3], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[3], and I'm a genius, obviously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![3], and well, well, well[3], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[3], and ... keep going![3], and

And it's a sin, for us[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[1], and it's a sin, for us[2], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[1], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[2], and don't be sad[1], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[2], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[1], and don't be sad[2], and spin without shame![1], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[2], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[1], and spin without shame![2], and I chose you, actually ...[1], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[2], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[1], and I chose you, actually ...[2], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[1], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[2], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![1], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[2], and smile, for me, please![1], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![2], and how does it feel to be so strange?[1], and smile, for me, please![2], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[1], and how does it feel to be so strange?[2], and talk about lucky![1], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[2], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[1], and talk about lucky![2], and never mind ... about, uh, them[1], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[2], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![1], and never mind ... about, uh, them[2], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[1], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![2], and I'm a genius, obviously[1], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![1], and I'm a genius, obviously[2], and well, well, well[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![2], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[1], and well, well, well[2], and ... keep going![1], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[2], and it's a sin, for us[3], and ... keep going![2], and we can't be normal a-ROUND here ... / ... and we just can't, you dig?[3], and we must take it to the square world, our weirdness ...[3], and don't be sad[3], and believe in our ways / and believe in life beyond the THREE / and believe in the rewards[3], and spin without shame![3], and, yes, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you are a chosen one[3], and I chose you, actually ...[3], and Christ! ... the world out there is so dirty ...[3], and everything's gonna be all right / and no kook, no cry[3], and YOU(!) ... are free of the filth here, yes, so be happy, please / and your consciousness ness is WILD - !!![3], and smile, for me, please![3], and how does it feel to be so strange?[3], and we're stuck here / and it could be worse / and we could be stuck over there - ...[3], and talk about lucky![3], and the squares need to take a good look at themselves and their silly lives ... / and they're a nightmare, really[3], and never mind ... about, uh, them[3], and, oh ... spin it, kook(s), even sing it![3], and I might add some tonality to this ... to make it even better, you dig?[3], and I'm a genius, obviously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... making ourselves so free, yes![3], and well, well, well[3], and there's NOTHING in the world for us / and that's the way we like it[3], and ... keep going![3], and

Aviva has changed its mind!

Uh. Which is good news, I suppose. I don't really care, to be honest with you, dear reader(s). 'What, boss?! You don't care?!' No. 'But if Aviva Investors aren't spending the summer in the park, then -' No, listen, Voice. I'm talking about - 'What are they going to do? Stay in the office all summer and manage their funds? That would be crazy! Is this Euan Munro's idea?' No, Voice - 'I think they're making a big mistake, if they've decided to join the real world and just be ... working stiffs like everyone else. And they'll miss it, you know? All the ice cream. The lazy, hazy days of summer.' Listen, man! FFS! I mean, Aviva - 'Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer! Those days of soda and pretzels and beer! Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer! Dust off the sun and moon and sing a song of cheer! Just fill your basket full of sandwiches and -' SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! YOU BLOODY IDIOT, VOICE!!! 'What?' I'm not talking about Aviva Investors. 'Oh.' I'm talking about Aviva, the main company, the goddamn group thing! 'Oh.' Yes - Oh! Aviva has changed its mind, or their minds, whatever, about cancelling the preference shares. I wrote about it last week, remember? 'Oh.' / Here's a bit from the statement, dear reader(s) -

Since the full year results announcement on 8 March 2018, Aviva plc ("Aviva") has heard a wide range of views on its preference shares, has spoken to a large number of investors and has received strong feedback and criticism.

As a result Aviva has listened. Aviva announces that it has decided to take no action to cancel its preference shares.

Under current regulation the preference shares will no longer count as regulatory capital in 2026. Aviva will work towards obtaining regulatory approval for the preference shares, or a suitable substitute, to qualify as capital from 2026 onwards. If as we approach 2026 Aviva needs to reconsider this position, it will do so after taking into account the fair market value of the preference shares at that time.


So all's well that ends well! / 'I'm sorry, boss.' You should just listen sometimes, Voice. Open your ears. 'I don't have any ears, man.' Christ! You have astral ears, don't you? 'Er ...' On the astral plane, yeah? 'Yeah, yeah, of course.' Well, open those. FFS!

...

Jesus H. - !!! / I was supposed to be making another fresh start today, reader(s), but he's already put me in a bad mood. 'Sorry!' It doesn't matter. I'm still doing it. The last three weeks or so were merely the soft launch of my new life. Now I'm really up for it!

Laters!

Thursday, 22 March 2018

The high street is dead!

According to our Jinksy. Look! -

Today's Office of National Statistics (ONS) Retail results for February show a 13.7% rise in annual online sales, with e-commerce purchases now accounting for 17.2% of all UK retail sales. British shoppers spent £1,230 million online this February, compared with £1,193 million in January.

The e-commerce delivery expert ParcelHero says that, in contrast, the High Street could only muster a slight rise of 0.8% over January's poor results: resulting in an overall decrease of High Street sales of 0.4% in the first three months of this year.

ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks says: "Online stores are continuing to eat High Street stores' lunch, and there seems no end to the problems facing many famous retail names."


Okay, okay. Okay. What can be done about it, dear reader(s)? Probably nothing. 'Boss, these high street stores could all move online in a bigger way until ... they don't need the stores no more.' What?! That's still the death of the high street, Voice, ain't it? 'Yeah, but they'd still be in business, wouldn't they?' Christ! But, but, but ... all the stores would be shut, idiot! Millions of people would lose their jobs. And not everyone will be able to get a new job in an Amazon-style warehouse. And who wants that anyway? We've all heard the stories of workers having babies in toilets. It's hell on earth.

Right. Concludes Jinksy -

Concludes David: "The likes of Toys R Us never really enthused internet shoppers. Their online offering failed to capture the excitement of the stores in their heyday and was never an automatic choice for toy shoppers. It looks like it's being left to department stores such as John Lewis to show how a High Street store with a reputation for quality service can carry that over into its online offering. Other retailers have to get this right, or this year's list of failures could become catastrophic."

Yes, catastrophic. Catastrophic sounds like a reasonable prediction to me. / Face facts, reader(s), friend(s), the future just isn't very bright for ordinary people. You're either going to be Elon Musk in a spaceship, or some nameless, faceless slave in a godforsaken warehouse. Take your pick! 'Ha! What about you, boss?' Me? I'm going to be a rock and roll shaman. A rock star extraordinaire! I'll be rockin' in the free world, son, or what remains of it.

...

Well, it's the end of another week, blog fan(s). Anything else? Er, let's stick with music. I've changed my mind about my music again. 'Bloody hell!' Listen! I mean, my guitar playing, you dig? 'Oh.' I mean, it's a waste of time trying to become a guitar wizard. 'Tell me about it!' The thing is, I keep discovering these really amazing players on YouTube, whom ... no one has ever heard of. A few of them are even better than Jimi Hendrix(!!!), and ... no one has ever heard of them. 'What about other guitar wizards, Mikey? They must have heard of them.' Well, uh, obviously, Voice, these wizards all know each other. 'Yeah, right.' BUT NO CIVILIANS HAVE EVER HEARD OF THEM!!! 'Oh.' So, I reckon it's best to stay on the Noel Gallagher/Kurt Cobain level as a guitarist, and just concentrate on writing great songs, man. That's my advice to myself.

Later(s), crocodile(s)! Have a nice weekend!

The cancellation of preference shares at par value

What's all this about?! ... you may be wondering, dear reader(s). 'Ha!' Yeah, well, don't get upset. It's just a PR email from PIMFA. Look! -

PIMFA has been following closely the developing situation regarding the Aviva proposal to cancel preference shares at par value, the effect of this on the price of preference shares in general, and the impact on the value of portfolios held directly by retail private investors or on behalf of retail clients by PIMFA discretionary investment managers. 

Er ... Aviva?! 'Do they mean Aviva Investors, boss?' I think they're talking about the main company, Voice, just Aviva, you dig? 'Yeah.' I can't imagine Aviva Investors would want to propose ANYTHING at this sensitive time because they're moving into the summer season at the moment, from pub to park. 'Are they in the park yet?' Well, it's hard to say, man. There have been some lovely sunny days, like yesterday - I was in Hyde Park, by the way - but tomorrow ... there could be snow, ice, Christ knows what. 'Yeah.' From what I've heard, they're doing a mixture of the two. 'Just playing it by ear, like.' Exactly, Voice. / Anyway, this email ...

For PIMFA and its members it is of paramount importance that an ethical approach should at all times inform proposed or implemented actions in relation to retail investors, and that such actions should, as required by law, always be in the clients' best interests. These principles apply even more strongly at a time when austerity has bitten for some years and incomes need supplementing, when lifespans are lengthening and the need to support the vulnerable or elderly for long periods of retirement has never been greater, and when the role of trustworthy professional advice is indispensable in securing investments of a quality enabling these objectives to be met.

The decision to cancel preference shares at par value does not further the excellent work of our member firms in ensuring that private investor interests are properly and ethically catered for and feature fully alongside those of major institutions in investment decisions.


Okay, okay. PIMFA aren't too keen on this idea. 'What does Liz Field say about it, boss?' I don't think our Lizzy cares what Aviva Investors gets up to, you know? Pub or park. It doesn't really matter to her. Stella or ice cream. Why should she care, man? 'No! About the share thing.' Oh, the share thing. Well, she said this -

PIMFA CEO Liz Field said: "It is of the utmost importance that, in major decisions that have an effect on the valuation of key assets in which individuals and families have invested for the long term, the position of the private investor is properly taken into account. The role of ethics is paramount where conflicts of interest emerge and competing interests have to be met. There are times when decisions advised by ethical rather than immediately commercial considerations must take precedence."


ENDS


Yeah, ENDS.

...

Anything else? Not yet, but I'll be doing another post after lunch. So, laters, you dig?

Tuesday, 20 March 2018

[No. 596] The way of the samurai

Yes, my way.

And I'm doing it my way[1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[1], and I'm doing it my way[2], and so alien, and so extreme![1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[1], and so alien, and so extreme![2], and everything must be right, right?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[2], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[1], and everything must be right, right?[2], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[1], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[2], and how do you ... feel - ?[1], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[2], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![1], and how do you ... feel - ?[2], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[1], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![2], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![1], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[2], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![1], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![2], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[1], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![2], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[1], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[2], and don't be sad ...[1], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[2], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[1], and don't be sad ...[2], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[1], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[2], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[1], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[2], and maybe a big cheese, too![1], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[2], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[1], and maybe a big cheese, too![2], and I've taken control - at last![1], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[2], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[1], and I've taken control - at last![2], and ... good luck![1], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[2], and I'm doing it my way[3], and ... good luck![2], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[3], and so alien, and so extreme![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[3], and everything must be right, right?[3], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[3], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[3], and how do you ... feel - ?[3], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![3], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[3], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![3], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![3], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[3], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[3], and don't be sad ...[3], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[3], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[3], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[3], and maybe a big cheese, too![3], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[3], and I've taken control - at last![3], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[3], and ... good luck![3], and

And I'm doing it my way[1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[1], and I'm doing it my way[2], and so alien, and so extreme![1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[1], and so alien, and so extreme![2], and everything must be right, right?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[2], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[1], and everything must be right, right?[2], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[1], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[2], and how do you ... feel - ?[1], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[2], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![1], and how do you ... feel - ?[2], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[1], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![2], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![1], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[2], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![1], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![2], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[1], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![2], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[1], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[2], and don't be sad ...[1], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[2], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[1], and don't be sad ...[2], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[1], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[2], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[1], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[2], and maybe a big cheese, too![1], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[2], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[1], and maybe a big cheese, too![2], and I've taken control - at last![1], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[2], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[1], and I've taken control - at last![2], and ... good luck![1], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[2], and I'm doing it my way[3], and ... good luck![2], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[3], and so alien, and so extreme![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[3], and everything must be right, right?[3], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[3], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[3], and how do you ... feel - ?[3], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![3], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[3], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![3], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![3], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[3], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[3], and don't be sad ...[3], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[3], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[3], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[3], and maybe a big cheese, too![3], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[3], and I've taken control - at last![3], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[3], and ... good luck![3], and

And I'm doing it my way[1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[1], and I'm doing it my way[2], and so alien, and so extreme![1], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[1], and so alien, and so extreme![2], and everything must be right, right?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[2], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[1], and everything must be right, right?[2], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[1], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[2], and how do you ... feel - ?[1], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[2], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![1], and how do you ... feel - ?[2], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[1], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![2], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![1], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[2], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![1], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![2], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[1], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![2], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[1], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[2], and don't be sad ...[1], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[2], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[1], and don't be sad ...[2], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[1], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[2], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[1], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[2], and maybe a big cheese, too![1], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[2], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[1], and maybe a big cheese, too![2], and I've taken control - at last![1], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[2], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[1], and I've taken control - at last![2], and ... good luck![1], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[2], and I'm doing it my way[3], and ... good luck![2], and from shaman to samurai, yes, it's, uh, quite a leap, I know, but I'll cope[3], and so alien, and so extreme![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... ha! / ... and I'll read that biography forever, yes[3], and everything must be right, right?[3], and, me, I'm committed, BIG TIME[3], and perfection is the answer / and it's better than dirt / and it's a very special way, obviously[3], and how do you ... feel - ?[3], and we're not animals, seriously, ah, those pigs![3], and, so ... I'm wondering ... I mean ... just, like ...[3], and, oh ... YOU(!) - !!! ... eh? Come on! Tell me![3], and when I wake up, I'm different, a miracle, and when I go to sleep? Christ knows![3], and are you, uh ... sleepy, a little bit?[3], and just look into my eyes, kook(s), because I can help you ... / and, yes, you must believe that[3], and don't be sad ...[3], and I know you're sick of the world / and I know you want some BIG CHANGES[3], and YOU(!) ... must take a leap, yes[3], and I know you're sick of yourself / and I know you want to be ... a completely different fish[3], and maybe a big cheese, too![3], and, yes, we all swim in a crazy cosmos with our consciousness nesses all over the shop[3], and I've taken control - at last![3], and rid yourself, my friend(s), of all the filth that you've been told to suck up[3], and ... good luck![3], and

PIMFA on Brexit transition deal

Yeah, yeah, there was a deal yesterday. 'Big deal, boss!' Eh? 'Big deal, boss. I'm not impressed.' Yeah, me neither, Voice. Big deal, reader(s)! It won't save us.

John Barrass, EU Expert and Deputy CEO at PIMFA, said: "We welcome the first joint draft agreement on transition arrangements close to the status quo as indicating that the government has listened to ourselves and others on the overriding need to avoid a cliff-edge or no deal Brexit scenario at the end of March next year. We have made clear our members' need for certainty during transition and minimum disruption to business as the UK leaves the EU. The proposals in the Draft Withdrawal Agreement go some way towards meeting those requirements and should help to ensure a smooth Brexit involving only one set of changes to a new legislative and regulatory operational framework when transition ends."

Well, I suppose he has to welcome it, our John, because he doesn't want total disaster, but what about the Irish border?

"However, we note the short duration of the proposed transition period, as specified in earlier EU texts. This may allow insufficient time to negotiate the final UK/EU Comprehensive Agreement which will govern our future relationship after transition. PIMFA has made clear its preference for a flexible transition end determined by the completion and coming into force of the Comprehensive Agreement, so that firms know ahead of time what they will need to change towards and can plan appropriately. We welcome reports suggesting that an explicit clause allowing for a limited extension for this purpose could be included in the final text."

Oh. Said John Barrass, again. But, but, but ... nothing about the Irish border! 'No one wants to think about it, boss.' I know, Voice, I know. And remember: Nothing is agreed until everything is agreed. / Obviously, it's the will of the people, you know? 'Ha!' I'm past caring, me. I've got different fish to fry.

...

Okay, okay. Anything else? No, not really. Well, I've got that Ashlee Vance Elon Musk book on my phone now, too. The epilogue isn't as good as the one in the updated edition of the paperback, but everything else is the same. / Oh, and I forgot to tell you, dear reader(s), I also have Jordan Belfort's Way of the Wolf on my phone. So I'm pretty happy, you dig? 'You've got everything you need, Mikey.' Fuckin' A, I have!

Later(s), crocodile(s)!

Monday, 19 March 2018

[No. 595] The novel is dead!

Long live conceptual literature!

And I knew years ago, man[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[1], and I knew years ago, man[2], and I knew, yes[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[2], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[1], and I knew, yes[2], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![1], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[2], and if that makes any sense ...[1], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![2], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[1], and if that makes any sense ...[2], and believe me[1], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[2], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![1], and believe me[2], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![2], and one day ...[1], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[1], and one day ...[2], and, look at me! I'm spinning![1], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[2], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![1], and, look at me! I'm spinning![2], and I'm waiting ...[1], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![2], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![1], and I'm waiting ...[2], and ... COME ON THEN!!![1], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![2], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[1], and ... COME ON THEN!!![2], and ... so[1], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[2], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[1], and ... so[2], and don't think too hard now ... please![1], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[1], and don't think too hard now ... please![2], and take your time, you have lots, after all[1], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[1], and take your time, you have lots, after all[2], and so happy, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[2], and I knew years ago, man[3], and so happy, yes![2], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[3], and I knew, yes[3], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[3], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![3], and if that makes any sense ...[3], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[3], and believe me[3], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![3], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and one day ...[3], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[3], and, look at me! I'm spinning![3], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![3], and I'm waiting ...[3],  and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![3], and ... COME ON THEN!!![3], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[3], and ... so[3], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[3], and don't think too hard now ... please![3], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[3], and take your time, you have lots, after all[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[3], and so happy, yes![3], and

And I knew years ago, man[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[1], and I knew years ago, man[2], and I knew, yes[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[2], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[1], and I knew, yes[2], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![1], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[2], and if that makes any sense ...[1], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![2], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[1], and if that makes any sense ...[2], and believe me[1], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[2], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![1], and believe me[2], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![2], and one day ...[1], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[1], and one day ...[2], and, look at me! I'm spinning![1], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[2], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![1], and, look at me! I'm spinning![2], and I'm waiting ...[1], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![2], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![1], and I'm waiting ...[2], and ... COME ON THEN!!![1], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![2], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[1], and ... COME ON THEN!!![2], and ... so[1], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[2], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[1], and ... so[2], and don't think too hard now ... please![1], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[1], and don't think too hard now ... please![2], and take your time, you have lots, after all[1], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[1], and take your time, you have lots, after all[2], and so happy, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[2], and I knew years ago, man[3], and so happy, yes![2], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[3], and I knew, yes[3], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[3], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![3], and if that makes any sense ...[3], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[3], and believe me[3], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![3], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and one day ...[3], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[3], and, look at me! I'm spinning![3], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![3], and I'm waiting ...[3],  and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![3], and ... COME ON THEN!!![3], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[3], and ... so[3], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[3], and don't think too hard now ... please![3], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[3], and take your time, you have lots, after all[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[3], and so happy, yes![3], and

And I knew years ago, man[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[1], and I knew years ago, man[2], and I knew, yes[1], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[2], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[1], and I knew, yes[2], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![1], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[2], and if that makes any sense ...[1], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![2], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[1], and if that makes any sense ...[2], and believe me[1], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[2], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![1], and believe me[2], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![2], and one day ...[1], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[1], and one day ...[2], and, look at me! I'm spinning![1], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[2], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![1], and, look at me! I'm spinning![2], and I'm waiting ...[1], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![2], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![1], and I'm waiting ...[2], and ... COME ON THEN!!![1], and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![2], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[1], and ... COME ON THEN!!![2], and ... so[1], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[2], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[1], and ... so[2], and don't think too hard now ... please![1], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[1], and don't think too hard now ... please![2], and take your time, you have lots, after all[1], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[1], and take your time, you have lots, after all[2], and so happy, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[2], and I knew years ago, man[3], and so happy, yes![2], and in the age of the internet and words that mean NOTHING ... what do you expect?[3], and I knew, yes[3], and just read my Notes page, son, or daughter[3], and Balzac, Dickens, Flaubert, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Proust ... your boys took one hell of a beating![3], and if that makes any sense ...[3], and Joyce and Beckett saw the writing on the wall ...[3], and believe me[3], and come on, follower(s), spinner(s)![3], and this ... will last forever! / and, yes, as long as kook(s) are DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and one day ...[3], and one day, I'll stop writing, yes, off to be a rock star, but scholars can still drop by and gawp and wonder ...[3], and, look at me! I'm spinning![3], and the Nobel Prize? Ha! They know where to find me ... / and here I am![3], and I'm waiting ...[3],  and I will be here even when I'm GONE(!) / and try to get your mind and soul a-ROUND that, squares![3], and ... COME ON THEN!!![3], and ... or, uh, head and heart, obviously, seriously / and it's all the same, probably, I should think, no, I shouldn't[3], and ... so[3], and where are you, you, YOU(!) ... my kook(s)?[3], and don't think too hard now ... please![3], and, ha, ha, ha! Look at you! I see YOU(!) ... spinning! / and do you see yourself, out of yourself?[3], and take your time, you have lots, after all[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and you know by now, yes[3], and so happy, yes![3], and

I don't feel like writing about finance today

So, uh, sorry, blog fan(s). Maybe if there were some PR emails for me to look at ... but there ain't, you know? God knows what has happened to those Coutts. 'What Coutts, boss?!' The bank, you silly thing! 'I know, I know. I'm just having a laugh, man.' Oh, okay. Ha!

Right. Maybe I should turn this blog into something else. 'Er ... like what?' I don't know, man. Uh. The blog of the world's foremost songwriting samurai ... ? 'Er ...' Yeah, probably not. Oh, I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow with a PR email. Please!

But today, today, today ... there's just this, for a while. After lunch I'll work on a new conceptual, No. 595. And some good news: Will Self has admitted in an interview that the novel is doomed. 'Yippee!' Yeah, it's nice to see these characters facing up to reality at last. I'm definitely on the right side of history, dear reader(s), you dig?

Okay, okay, okay. This is another fresh start, sort of. I mean, I've been doing the samurai/Musk thing for the last few weeks. My discipline normally starts to slip away by Wednesday lunch time though. And I go from happy to sad. 'Oh.' Obviously, the thing to do, man(s), is to keep the discipline, full steam ahead, as it were, and stay happy. 'Yes!' Yes. Yes. YES - !!!

Right. I had a thought yesterday. 'Yippee!' Oi! Listen, idiot! 'Okay, boss. Go on.' Hiring top musicians for an album can be bloody expensive. David Bowie used to hire some of the best in the world, but he did it at a time when the music industry was in a healthier state. However, I thought to myself yesterday: Eric Clapton always has Eric Clapton playing guitar on his albums, and it doesn't cost him a penny! 'So ... uh, what do you mean by that?' I mean, man, I need to improve my guitar playing as a matter of urgency and forget about writing songs for a while. I have all the songs I need for a great album, anyway. 'Good idea!' It would also give me more control over any album, if I'm playing all the guitar parts. I know from the experience of recording my old demos with professional musicians [over twenty-five years ago!] that you've got to let them do their thing, which means giving up control.

Ha! 'Uh.' Well ... / Later(s), alligator(s)!

Thursday, 15 March 2018

The Morpheus Cup

What the hell is that?!?! ... you might be wondering, dear reader(s). Well, wonder no more ... because I have the answer!

On April 12th, hundreds of European students will gather at the Palais Brongniart, at the heart of Paris (France), for the fourth edition of the Morpheus Cup, the largest European universities and graduate schools' championship. The competition is divided into two parts: The Morpheus Prize, a remote call for projects, and the Morpheus Day, a live competition with thematic challenges. Students also have the opportunity to visit the event to meet potential employers and share their views with their European counterparts.

You see? It's a chance for European students to show how clever they are.

Great European companies and organizations such as BNP Paribas, PwC, MACIF, Leroy Merlin, Docler Holding, Pépite France, La Maison des Initiatives Etudiantes, ICT Luxembourg, Crème de la Crème or Davidson Consulting, are looking to support student-lead startups and projects in the fields of Artificial Intelligence, cybersecurity, customer experience, e-commerce & retail, entertainment & media, Internet of Things, human capital, mobility & logistics, circular & green economy, energy, healthcare… Through the organization of unique and one-of-a-kind innovation challenges, the competition also invites young talents to overcome their limits, boost their creativity and skills, and try to win up to €25,000 worth of prizes.

 
That's all right, ain't it? It looks like the sort of thing Elon Musk might be interested in, to find new talent for making his rockets, etc. 'And that loop thing, boss.' Yes, Voice, the Hyperloop. / Well, obviously, I wish them all the best.

...

Anything else? Ah, it's the end of another week, blog fan(s), and I'm knackered, I'm afraid. So not much else. 'But -' However, there's no rest for the wicked. 'You're bad!' Yes, don't forget I'm a samurai now. I will be playing my guitar.

Er ... Brexit? FFS! Uh, if you insist. Unilever, Britain's third biggest company, is making Rotterdam its main headquarters. It denies that Brexit is the cause. 'Ha!' I think we'll see a lot of this. You know, firms moving to the EU, but saying ... Oh, it's got nothing to do with Brexit, guv. Honest! / Never mind. It's the will of the people.

Have a nice weekend! 'Bye!' Yeah, laters.

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

BondMason fundraising

Okay, okay. We've got some fundraising news from BondMason -

London, 13 March 2018: BondMason has today announced the results of its latest investment fundraising round, which raised £1.85 million to drive the growth of the business and fulfil the company's vision to enable more investors to access returns from direct lending.

They've got a vision! 'Not bad, boss.' It ain't bad at all, Voice.

The direct lending market in the UK is continuing to come-of-age, offering investors the potential to deliver attractive risk-adjusted returns with lower volatility compared to equity capital markets. This was marked by another record year of growth for direct lending in 2017. Recognizing this, and their unique position within the sector, the team at BondMason took the decision to raise another round of investment funding to fuel the continued expansion of the business.

Oh, by the way, dear reader(s), I'm listening to Coney Island Baby, my favourite Lou Reed album. 'What's that got to do with the BondMason news?' Nothing, man. Absolutely nothing. 'All right. Well, maybe we should hear what Stephen Findlay has got to say.' Yeah, yeah, if you insist ...

Stephen Findlay, CEO of BondMason explains: "We've received significant interest from both new and existing shareholders for this fundraising, which represents a strong endorsement of our business strategy. The round was oversubscribed by 50%. We're delighted to announce that Seneca Partners and Par Equity led the investment round - two of the UK's leading EIS investment managers. We're also excited to have a number of private investors participating in the round as well. This is a key milestone for the business and marks the next chapter in our journey."

Well, our Stephen is delighted. 'And excited.' Yes, he's delighted and excited, and why shouldn't he be?

It goes on for a bit, but then! ... [drum roll] ... ah, there's some talk of the vision! 'Let's hear it!' Okay, okay. Be patient, son. Where is it? Oh, here it is -

Mr. Findlay continued: "The vision is to bring the BondMason proposition to life by developing our brand awareness and client engagement, and by ultimately raising our profile and share of voice in both the direct lending market and wider investment arena. Our role is to enable more investors to access direct lending as a complimentary asset class, enhancing their overall investment strategy. We will work closely with other participants in the financial services sector, such as IFAs and Wealth Managers, as well as continue to serve clients directly."

Great! I love all this vision stuff, you know? 'We don't get enough of it in finance, do we, boss?' No, it's usually left to the mystical nutters, like me. 'Kooks.' Yes, or kooks. Same thing, really.

Right. 'Are we going to finish with a quote from John Davies at Seneca Partners? Or a quote from Marcus Henderson at Par Equity?' Ha! No, Voice, we're not. 'Oh.' We're going to finish with a quote from the late great Lou Reed -

Lou Reed sang: "She's my best friend, certainly not your average girl. Yeah, she's my best friend. She understands me when I'm feeling dow-dow-dow-dow-dow-down. You know, it sure hurts to be that way. Dow-dow-dow-dow-dow-down. You know, it sure hurts to know that you're that kinda fella."

Er ... yeah, thanks, Lou! Hardly relevant, though, is it? FFS! 'Don't start a fight with him, Mikey. You know what he's like. Remember when he started throwing punches at David Bowie in that restaurant?' Ha! I'd like to see him try that with me.

Okay. See you tomorrow, reader(s).

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

[No. 594] I'm starting to think

But I should be feeling.

And ... now, yes[1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[1], and ... now, yes[2], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[2], and ... help![1], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[1], and ... help![2], and ... please![1], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[2], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[1], and ... please![2], and, but, but, but ...[1], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[2], and ... 'What?'[1], and, but, but, but ...[2], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[1], and ... 'What?'[2], and yes, yes, yes[1], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[2], and ... I don't know, really[1], and yes, yes, yes[2], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[1], and ... I don't know, really[2], and why was I chosen?[1], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[2], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[1], and why was I chosen?[2], and I get so tired ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[2], and ... fuck it![1], and I get so tired ...[2], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[1], and ... fuck it![2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[2], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![1], and ... ha![2], and I feel now[1], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![2], and I feel, yes[1], and I feel now[2], and I feel, something[1], and I feel, yes[2], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[1], and I feel, something[2], and let me feel ... more, yes[1], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[1], and let me feel ... more, yes[2], and ... again![1], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[2], and ... now, yes[3], and ... again![2], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[3], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and ... help![3], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[3], and ... please![3], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[3], and, but, but, but ...[3], and ... 'What?'[3], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[3], and yes, yes, yes[3], and ... I don't know, really[3], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[3], and why was I chosen?[3], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[3], and I get so tired ...[3], and ... fuck it![3], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[3], and ... ha![3], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![3], and I feel now[3], and I feel, yes[3], and I feel, something[3], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[3], and let me feel ... more, yes[3], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[3], and ... again![3], and

And ... now, yes[1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[1], and ... now, yes[2], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[2], and ... help![1], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[1], and ... help![2], and ... please![1], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[2], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[1], and ... please![2], and, but, but, but ...[1], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[2], and ... 'What?'[1], and, but, but, but ...[2], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[1], and ... 'What?'[2], and yes, yes, yes[1], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[2], and ... I don't know, really[1], and yes, yes, yes[2], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[1], and ... I don't know, really[2], and why was I chosen?[1], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[2], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[1], and why was I chosen?[2], and I get so tired ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[2], and ... fuck it![1], and I get so tired ...[2], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[1], and ... fuck it![2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[2], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![1], and ... ha![2], and I feel now[1], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![2], and I feel, yes[1], and I feel now[2], and I feel, something[1], and I feel, yes[2], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[1], and I feel, something[2], and let me feel ... more, yes[1], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[1], and let me feel ... more, yes[2], and ... again![1], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[2], and ... now, yes[3], and ... again![2], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[3], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and ... help![3], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[3], and ... please![3], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[3], and, but, but, but ...[3], and ... 'What?'[3], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[3], and yes, yes, yes[3], and ... I don't know, really[3], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[3], and why was I chosen?[3], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[3], and I get so tired ...[3], and ... fuck it![3], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[3], and ... ha![3], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![3], and I feel now[3], and I feel, yes[3], and I feel, something[3], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[3], and let me feel ... more, yes[3], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[3], and ... again![3], and

And ... now, yes[1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[1], and ... now, yes[2], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[2], and ... help![1], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[1], and ... help![2], and ... please![1], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[2], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[1], and ... please![2], and, but, but, but ...[1], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[2], and ... 'What?'[1], and, but, but, but ...[2], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[1], and ... 'What?'[2], and yes, yes, yes[1], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[2], and ... I don't know, really[1], and yes, yes, yes[2], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[1], and ... I don't know, really[2], and why was I chosen?[1], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[2], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[1], and why was I chosen?[2], and I get so tired ...[1], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[2], and ... fuck it![1], and I get so tired ...[2], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[1], and ... fuck it![2], and ... ha![1], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[2], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![1], and ... ha![2], and I feel now[1], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![2], and I feel, yes[1], and I feel now[2], and I feel, something[1], and I feel, yes[2], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[1], and I feel, something[2], and let me feel ... more, yes[1], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[1], and let me feel ... more, yes[2], and ... again![1], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[2], and ... now, yes[3], and ... again![2], and I'm thinking, uh ... well, maybe there's NOTHING beyond the THREE[3], and is this ... all there is, Voice - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and ... help![3], and ... uh, uh ... / and ... 'Bloody hell, boss!'[3], and ... please![3], and thinking, thinking ... that I hate thinking, man / and everyone knows that words absolutely disgust me[3], and, but, but, but ...[3], and ... 'What?'[3], and, but, but, but ... I feel there is something beyond, you dig? / and ... 'Nice one, Mikey. Stay positive, son'[3], and yes, yes, yes[3], and ... I don't know, really[3], and, but ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll never stop, kook(s), I promise you that[3], and why was I chosen?[3], and a-ROUND here ... is a hard life, yes, or it can be ... when you start to think, my friend(s)[3], and I get so tired ...[3], and ... fuck it![3], and ... 'DON'T STOP - !!!' / and what, thinking? / and 'No, spinning, man'[3], and ... ha![3], and I, I, I ... can't stop spinning ... / and the DIZZY(!) life is a goddamn disease!!![3], and I feel now[3], and I feel, yes[3], and I feel, something[3], and I could do with ... / and I need a big banging drum in my head, you dig?[3], and let me feel ... more, yes[3], and a-ROUND is the only way for now / and a-ROUND is the only way forever, uh[3], and ... again![3], and