Jinksy reckons it will. 'Ha! Not him again, boss! I thought you weren't doing any more Jinksy PR emails.' Well, this is a good one, Voice.
In its April 2016 report the e-commerce delivery expert ParcelHero predicted Amazon would become a logistics company. Now Amazon has launched end-to-end delivery services, as part of its ambition to embed its services into all our lives, and storm to a $1 trillion valuation later this year.
Yes. And I'm worried about that. 'Really? Why?' I don't want Jeff Bezos getting any richer. I don't want him putting all his money into rockets, man. 'Oh, okay.' I mean, he's far richer than Elon Musk. I think that Musk will be the richest man in the world twenty years from now, but the race is on to get to Mars in the next ten years. 'Damn!' However ... it ain't all about money. 'Ha! Tell them, boss! Tell the readers!' Elon Musk could build a better rocket that Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin in a fucking cave ... with a box of scraps! 'Musk's a genius, boss.' Of course he is!
So, let's all relax, reader(s), and get on with the rest of the email.
Amazon is on its way to becoming a new kind of retail and services provider that is embedded in all our lives - even if we don't actually shop with the e-commerce giant. So says the e-commerce expert ParcelHero, which predicted in a report two years ago that Amazon would launch its own end-to-end delivery service, as it seeks to become the pipe through which all retail flows.
Yes, Jinksy's an expert. 'A genius?' Er ... he's an expert. 'Not a genius?!' The jury's still out on that one.
The launch of Shipping with Amazon (SWA) in Los Angeles this February saw ParcelHero's prediction come true. The Wall Street Journal reports Amazon will swiftly roll out the delivery service to third party merchants before making shipping services available to anyone and everyone.
Well, this is all great, obviously. But will morons still leave parcels out in the rain, in full view of thieves and degenerates?
Reveals Jinksy: "Amazon's multi-channel approach to retail and services means it is able to rise above the challenges that saw its rivals Toys R'Us and Maplin's falter last week, and New Look looking to shed around 60 stores. Amazon competes in all those sectors, and yet is even opening physical stores as rivals collapse around it. What sets it apart is that it has become an entirely new kind of business. It's now an e-commerce store, a High Street retailer, a logistics provider, a cloud computing provider, a broadcaster and you can even use it to book a plumber."
Ha! Nothing to say about the morons, I see. 'Who's left your parcels out in the rain, boss?' Well, I remember once, someone left a parcel on the doorstep without even ringing the bell. 'Oh.' And another time they took my parcel to another street. 'Oh.' Actually, that happened twice. So, uh ... Jinksy won't say anything about it, I'm sure.
The impact of Amazon Logistics deliveries in the UK has already revolutionized the parcel industry here. By August last year Amazon had already grabbed a 7% share of the UK delivery market; to put that into perspective Yodel had 8% with Hermes 11%. Observes Jinksy: "Little wonder news of the launch of Amazon's next phase, Shipping With Amazon, earlier this year, wiped 1% off the value of Royal Mail in a single day."
Yeah, okay. That's enough. 'He's talking about China now.' I don't care. That's enough!
ENDS
...
Right. Anything else? No, not really. 'Samurai stuff, Mikey?' Yeah, it's going great, man. I'm glad to be back to the full commitment, you dig? My little taste of normal life again was sickening, to be honest. This is the way now.
Laters.
In its April 2016 report the e-commerce delivery expert ParcelHero predicted Amazon would become a logistics company. Now Amazon has launched end-to-end delivery services, as part of its ambition to embed its services into all our lives, and storm to a $1 trillion valuation later this year.
Yes. And I'm worried about that. 'Really? Why?' I don't want Jeff Bezos getting any richer. I don't want him putting all his money into rockets, man. 'Oh, okay.' I mean, he's far richer than Elon Musk. I think that Musk will be the richest man in the world twenty years from now, but the race is on to get to Mars in the next ten years. 'Damn!' However ... it ain't all about money. 'Ha! Tell them, boss! Tell the readers!' Elon Musk could build a better rocket that Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin in a fucking cave ... with a box of scraps! 'Musk's a genius, boss.' Of course he is!
So, let's all relax, reader(s), and get on with the rest of the email.
Amazon is on its way to becoming a new kind of retail and services provider that is embedded in all our lives - even if we don't actually shop with the e-commerce giant. So says the e-commerce expert ParcelHero, which predicted in a report two years ago that Amazon would launch its own end-to-end delivery service, as it seeks to become the pipe through which all retail flows.
Yes, Jinksy's an expert. 'A genius?' Er ... he's an expert. 'Not a genius?!' The jury's still out on that one.
The launch of Shipping with Amazon (SWA) in Los Angeles this February saw ParcelHero's prediction come true. The Wall Street Journal reports Amazon will swiftly roll out the delivery service to third party merchants before making shipping services available to anyone and everyone.
Well, this is all great, obviously. But will morons still leave parcels out in the rain, in full view of thieves and degenerates?
Reveals Jinksy: "Amazon's multi-channel approach to retail and services means it is able to rise above the challenges that saw its rivals Toys R'Us and Maplin's falter last week, and New Look looking to shed around 60 stores. Amazon competes in all those sectors, and yet is even opening physical stores as rivals collapse around it. What sets it apart is that it has become an entirely new kind of business. It's now an e-commerce store, a High Street retailer, a logistics provider, a cloud computing provider, a broadcaster and you can even use it to book a plumber."
Ha! Nothing to say about the morons, I see. 'Who's left your parcels out in the rain, boss?' Well, I remember once, someone left a parcel on the doorstep without even ringing the bell. 'Oh.' And another time they took my parcel to another street. 'Oh.' Actually, that happened twice. So, uh ... Jinksy won't say anything about it, I'm sure.
The impact of Amazon Logistics deliveries in the UK has already revolutionized the parcel industry here. By August last year Amazon had already grabbed a 7% share of the UK delivery market; to put that into perspective Yodel had 8% with Hermes 11%. Observes Jinksy: "Little wonder news of the launch of Amazon's next phase, Shipping With Amazon, earlier this year, wiped 1% off the value of Royal Mail in a single day."
Yeah, okay. That's enough. 'He's talking about China now.' I don't care. That's enough!
ENDS
...
Right. Anything else? No, not really. 'Samurai stuff, Mikey?' Yeah, it's going great, man. I'm glad to be back to the full commitment, you dig? My little taste of normal life again was sickening, to be honest. This is the way now.
Laters.
