Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Hashemi Asset Management - ?!

What the hell is that?!?! ... You're probably wondering. 'Ha!' Well, er, I don't know why. It's just a new hedge fund, dear reader(s). How many new hedge funds have I written about over the years? 'It must be hundreds, boss.' Yes, Voice. It must be. And yet my hysterical readers are getting all upset again. 'They're just drama queens.' Maybe they're tired. I mean, I'm tired. I only got a couple of hours sleep last night. 'Why?' I was watching Biff Tannen win the US presidency. 'Ha!' Yeah. Even more of a mess than Brexit. Just consider. This guy will have the nuclear codes. Only eight per cent of African Americans voted for him. And his supporters are a rum bunch. 'So?' So, nothing. I'm just listing stuff, man. 'Oh.' I'm just saying America - and the world - is in for a rough ride now. The markets will go down, and the dollar, too. Nato's future will be in doubt. There'll be walls everywhere. 'But what will happen with Russia and Syria?' Who knows? I don't know. / Jesus! Not that I care any more, if I'm being honest. My music is a great comfort to me. I've recorded two of my new songs. Only two more to go! 'You've got to stay positive, Mikey.' Fuckin' A! / Breaking news: Biff is promising a free unicorn for every American! 'Nice one!' Well, maybe things won't be so bad ... I'm going to give him a chance!

But let's get back to Ardy Hashemi. 'Who?!' Ardy Hashemi. He's the guy behind the new hedge fund. It hasn't launched yet. We'll have to wait until early next year. It's a London-based fund. Ardy used to work at BlueCrest. 'Christ!' What, Voice? 'Everyone used to work at BlueCrest. What is it with these guys?' I don't know. They just have a hard-on for starting new funds. / Anyway, Ardy has got $200 million from Lighthouse Investment Partners. And it's going to be all long-short stuff, European equities.

Not much else to add. I hope our Ardy makes a success of it. God knows what the financial situation will be though. Starting a hedge fund ain't for wimps.


Anything else? No. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. That's all. Laters, blog fan(s)!