Okay, okay. Gaurav Rishi Mehra.
'Boss, no one knows who he is, or what he's doing.'
Ha, ha, ha!
Well, we're going to find out, my little disembodied friend.
Yes, yes, it's a PR email.
Mumbai, 29/04/2021. TMF Group, a global professional services firm, has appointed Gaurav Rishi Mehra as part of the Fund Services team.
TMF Group's Fund Services delivers a holistic suite of fund administration and related services across Private Equity, Real Assets (including Real Estate), Infrastructure, Debt and Venture Capital. Over the past months, the practice not only hired many senior level talents in key markets but went through major acquisitions in Europe and the US, thus pursuing the goals both to serve an international clientele and to expand its services.
Mr Mehra joins TMF Group as Head of Fund Services in India, overseeing the company's Fund Services offering in the emerging market in South Asia, aiming to maximize the region's potential and improve existing processes to enable the company to expand its reach and proposition.
Mr Mehra has more than 15 years' experience in the financial and asset management areas, as well as valuation of illiquid securities, financial reporting, GAAP and investor relations. He has shown dynamic leadership and expertise in the design and implementation of finance change projects, as well as process improvements to enhance operational efficiencies, improve data quality, reduce delivery time and create strong governance frameworks. He previously worked as an Associate Director at KPMG, having occupied global leadership positions in leading international financial institutions such as State Street, Goldman Sachs and EY, where he developed his extensive background. He will now report to Andrew O'Shea, Global Head of Funds Services.
Okay, okay. Notice the use of the word "holistic". That's impressive, that is. 'Why?' It just is.
Right. Let's go to the voices, Voice. 'Yippee!'
Andy? Come on, son!
Andrew O'Shea, comments: "TMF Group is continuously focusing on hiring the best people, as evidenced by the many recent key newcomers in different markets, spanning from the USA to the APAC region. Gaurav, the most recent, is an incredible professional with an impeccable track record in the financial and funds areas. His leadership skills and market knowledge, as well as his experience in the design and implementation of projects will be valuable assets in the next steps TMF Group will take to improve its funds services proposition."
Nice one! / Shagun? You're up next. No pressure.
Shagun Kumar, Managing Director at TMF India, says: "We believe there are strong opportunities in India, which align with our plans for the Funds business. We are committed to recruit the best talents in the market, and Gaurav's hiring is a clear sign of our strategy. Under his leadership we expect our funds team to grow significantly."
Thanks, Shagun!
Okay, okay. Now we come to the man himself. 'Don't blow it, Gaurav!' Leave him alone!
There's no pressure.
Mr Mehra states: "TMF Group a great company with a strong position in the funds market. The recent moves, such as the acquisition of Selectra in Luxembourg and VBO in the United States, show that it is committed to expanding its funds services offering. I am truly honoured to be a part of this transformation and eager to contribute with the next steps the company will take."
Oh dear. It should be ... "TMF Group is a great company." You missed out the "is", Gaurav, mate. 'Nerves, boss.' Yeah, I suppose.
Never mind.
ENDS
...
Anything else? Mysticism? Well, I had a revelation the other day, my dear kook(s), and I'm going to tell you all about it.
Okay, okay. I doubt many people believe that Joan of Arc had visions of angels and God and all that, telling her she had to help the French beat the English. Why would the cosmos - or God - pick sides in a war on this one small planet Earth? It just wouldn't. And that's always bothered me because I believe that Joan of Arc was a spiritual aristocrat who really did have those visions.
Similarly, why would the cosmos help me to write pop songs? The cosmos - or God - can't possibly be interested in the pop charts. The whole idea is ridiculous.
Now, atheists and cold earth wanderers will say it's all nonsense ...
Ha, ha, ha! But I have an answer. Listen to this! The cosmos wants to come to the aid of ... [drum roll] ... spiritual aristocrats. You dig? The cosmos didn't give a toss about France or England. However, it cared about Joan, so it helped her in what she wanted to do.
And me and my music? The cosmos couldn't care less about silly pop songs, FFS! But it knows that I like music ... so it helps me.
[Fragments. I only need fragments of "inspiration".]
This is why I always say to everybody: Develop your consciousness, man! You must do this!
By the way, help will come to you when your ego is out of the way. I mean, that's how you connect to the cosmos.
You need dreams and blackouts and visions! All right?
Thank me later.
