What's this all about?
Recently listed British unicorn Cazoo has announced that it has raised $630 million in convertible loan notes from investors, led by Viking Global.
Okay, no endorsement, obviously. And it's not a real unicorn, with a horn and that. 'No endorsement for what, boss?' For whatever is going on in this PR email. 'Haven't you read it?!' I'm reading it now, idiot! 'Okay.' It's about used cars or something. Sent to me by Wealth Club. 'Who are they?' Christ!
The aim of Wealth Club is simple. To provide high net worth individuals and sophisticated investors with clear, impartial and well researched information on investment opportunities not typically available through mainstream stockbrokers or financial advisers. Wealth Club was set up in February 2016 and is now the largest non-advisory broker of tax efficient investments such as VCTs, EIS and Inheritance Tax Portfolios.
You see? 'Yeah, I see. Where did that come from?' The bottom of the email. Haven't you read it? 'I'm reading it now.' Nice one!
I can't get the staff. If I could get the staff, I wouldn't want them. But never mind, eh? I'm just perverse, that's all.
And I say again: no endorsement. Investors shouldn't be reading this blog. Sophisticated or unsophisticated. I'm crazy, man! 'So am I!' Ha, ha, ha! You definitely have to be crazy to work here.
Anyway ...
The funds raised will supplement Cazoo's current liquidity position and will provide a material multi-year runway for the Company to be able to execute on its aggressive expansion strategy.
Oh, why do they have to be so aggressive? Why can't they take it easy, like Aviva Investors? 'What are Aviva Investors doing these days, boss?' Er ... I presume that they're in the pub most days. I mean, it is winter. 'Yeah. / What did they do during The Thing?' The thing? 'THE THING.' Oh, The Thing. I heard they were getting cans in. 'Oh.' Yeah, cans of Stella and Kronenbourg. 'I thought they only drank Stella?' I turned them on to Kronenbourg. 'Oh.' Some shops don't sell both, anyway. The same as some pubs.
Anyway ...
In pursuit of this strategy, the company has embarked on a rapid expansion strategy:
In 2020, the business sold c. 12,000 cars and generated revenues of £162 million.
In 2021, the business sold c.34,700 cars and generated £665 million of revenue.
In 2022, the Company expects to sell over 100,000 retail units and to generate £2 billion+ of revenues.
That's about Cazoo, obviously. Not Aviva Investors.
'What does Jonathan Moyes say, boss?' Who on earth - 'He's the head of investment research at Wealth Club.' Oh, right.
Jonathan Moyes, Head of Investment Research at Wealth Club says: "Hot on the heels of its recent acquisition of Brumbrum, Cazoo has shown it has not lost its ability to raise large sums from investors, despite the recently stockmarket volatility. There is still ample appetite from investors to back rapidly growing businesses."
That should be "recent stock market volatility". Never mind.
"The Cazoo brand is now recognized by over 75% of the UK population and following its recent strategic acquisitions across Europe and this new funding, Cazoo now has the platform and the resources to aggressively roll out across Europe's largest user car markets, even if this means running at a substantial loss for some years."
A substantial loss?! Well, whatever. As long as you're happy, Jonathan.
ENDS
...
Anything else? I'm stopping all personal and music chat soon.
Anyway ...
Fitness? Maybe I should have got those 10kg dumbbells right at the beginning. 'You wouldn't have coped.' Well, I suppose it was the smart thing to start off with the light ones.
Music? A year ago, Mighty Soul and Shady, Dodgy, Shifty didn't exist. I'm glad they do exist now, and glad I wasn't ready to do my music in all the years that have gone by ... so quickly!
I've got four lyrics to write/finish. That will give me seventeen songs. My BIG NINE plus eight supporting songs. / If I can get my BIG TEN with one more super BIG song, I'm going to start calling myself The Greatest Songwriter Of All Times ... whether it's true or not. With the right song ... I believe it will be true.
I'm a visionary, remember?
Laters.
