Saturday, 1 September 2007

Barclays bails out Cairn Capital

Barclays Capital has been forced to rescue one of its clients, Cairn Capital, with a loan of £793 million. Barclays seems to be in a bit of trouble at the moment.

I know someone at BarCap and he told me yesterday, 'The sky over Canary Wharf is bright red. There's blood in the clouds! I can see blood! O Jesus, save me, save my soul. The blood is dripping on me. It's sticking to my skin! It burns! I can't stand it. I must find shelter. I'm not a sinner. I've always been a good boy. Why is this happening to me? Please help me. Help me.'

Shocking. I managed to calm him down by rubbing one of my magical lotions in the area where his third eye should be - he doesn't have one for some reason, and that may be his problem. He's reasonably okay now, but I've told him not to read the financial news for a few days. It's a tough life, the banker's life. Ain't that the truth.