Analysts at Morningstar have found a new way to measure the performance of a fund. With the money-weighting method the average return to the asset flows in the fund are calculated.
This is wonderful, but I can think of a far better way of doing it, using crystals. All you've got to do is hold a crystal in your hand and then meditate on the fund in question. I've found that if the fund is doing well, the crystal will turn blue and even make a very low humming sound. If the fund has performed badly, the crystal will turn red and quite often start vibrating. These results can be achieved in less than a minute.
I tried to speak with Morningstar's managing director, Don Philips, last night, hoping that he would take an interest in my methods, but he did not return my calls. So be it. You can't help some people.
This is wonderful, but I can think of a far better way of doing it, using crystals. All you've got to do is hold a crystal in your hand and then meditate on the fund in question. I've found that if the fund is doing well, the crystal will turn blue and even make a very low humming sound. If the fund has performed badly, the crystal will turn red and quite often start vibrating. These results can be achieved in less than a minute.
I tried to speak with Morningstar's managing director, Don Philips, last night, hoping that he would take an interest in my methods, but he did not return my calls. So be it. You can't help some people.
