Friday 12 December 2008

Bernard Madoff: the Jack Pickles connection

Okay. I have never quoted Jack on this blog before. A few reasons. Firstly, I hate the son of a bitch - even though we were once best friends. Secondly, I don't want Jack poisoning my readers' minds with his demonic nonsense. Thirdly, I have not spoken to him for a number of years anyway. If I want to find out what he is doing, I normally speak to his brother Nicky - who is a good kid.

BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT. Yes. Bernard Madoff, the founder of Bernard Madoff Investment Securities and a former chairman of the Nasdaq stock market, was charged yesterday with a $50 billion securities fraud. He is out on $10 million bail at the moment. And it was Jack who put the money up.

So I phoned Jack at dawn this morning. He's in England, not the Cayman Islands. This is what happened (I'm in italics):

Hello. (Hello, Jack. It's Michael.) Michael Fowke? (Yeah.) This is a surprise. (You know why I'm phoning, don't you?) Let me guess - Bernard Madoff? (That's right. Is he working for you?) Hey, it's common knowledge I put up his bail money. But no, he's not working for me. (I don't believe you, Jack.) Prove he's working for me. (I can't prove it, Jack. But you've gone too far this time. The Feds will get you this time.) I'm protected, man. (Yeah, by Satan.) Everybody's got to be protected by someone, Mike. You've got Big Herb. I've got Satan. So sue me. (If the Feds don't get you, I will, Jack.) Sleep with one eye open, Mike.

I put the phone down. I was shaking all over afterwards. Not fear. Anger. I hate that man.