Monday, 12 October 2009

Kris Haber to Threadneedle and beyond!

Beyond Threadneedle! Beyond money!

It had to happen sooner or later. It had to happen. Mr Haber had to leave Lazard Asset Management. There was no way he could stay, after seeing what he had seen, after experiencing such miseries beyond the imagination of any normal financier, banker or trader. So, dear reader, try not to imagine! And do not dare judge him, or attempt to criticize him. You should walk a mile in his old shoes first. But you would not want to walk a mile in Mr Haber's old shoes - oh, he has new shoes now, Threadneedle shoes! No, you would not even want to walk half a mile. Those shoes wouldn't fit you anyway. You would crawl. Yes, you would crawl through an astral waste land, an astral desert, a lonely city street, a gutter! Yes, you would fall into the gutter, and you would not survive such a terrible fate.

But Kris has survived! He has been through it all. And now he must go further! Oh, they say he has joined as head of Threadneedle's North American and hedge fund businesses. And maybe he has. Maybe he has. BUT THAT IS NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH. They have not been willing to tell us everything. They are afraid, you see. They know that Kris must go beyond money now. He cannot be held back! Kris is a man who has a strong sense of his own destiny. He could never be satisfied with working in an office. That would be INSANE. Kris is a man who knows, who feels it in his burning soul, that he must stretch himself. He will travel beyond money! He will go on to the astral plane. HE WILL RISK HIS LIFE. He will put his burning soul on the line. And his aura! Yes, it is a crimson aura he has. I have seen it. As Mallarme would say: his naked aura is thrashing crimson space. No, that's not right. His naked golds are thrashing his crimson aura. No! But … you understand, right, dear reader? Surely you understand me well enough by now.

And what if he fails? What if Kris burns himself to a crisp? What then? Well, as another poet would say: other horrible workers will come! They will begin at the horizons where the first one has fallen! Where Kris has fallen! Yes, if Kris fell, down, down, down he would go! Spiralling out of sight, away from the gaze of our sad eyes. We would not be able to reach him. Not even with our minds! HE WOULD NOT SURVIVE THAT.

O Kris, we love you! We love and respect you so very much. Good luck with it all.