Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Spiritually exhausted

Yeah, spiritually exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Whatever. Even physically exhausted. Astrally exhausted. My chakras are a mess. I'm really struggling to get to the end of this blogging year. Sure, I'll be taking two weeks off at Christmas, as usual. But …

Bloody hell. I was going to write about the tax on bankers' bonuses today. I haven't got the energy.

Funnily enough, I'm toying with the idea of becoming a full-time blogger next year. How would I cope with that? And what would I write about?

The internet puts insane pressure on you. I've written over 200,000 words on this blog. But is it enough? What would be enough? A billion words?

Have you read The Devils by Dostoyevsky? I'm a fan of his, yeah, but I could only read the first 200 pages or so. It was a load of waffle. Apparently, the end - according to Colin Wilson - is pretty good. Murders galore!

Have you read The Castle by Kafka? One of my favourites. But he didn't finish it. A stroke of genius, as far as I'm concerned - whether intentional or not. If you are searching for something, how will you ever find it? I'm not talking about your car keys. I mean God or perfection. Or just some fucking happiness, for Christ's sake!

It would have to be beautiful and hard as steel and make people ashamed of their existence.

Are you ashamed yet? I know I am.