[No. 57] I'll hide, or I'll break through, or I'll do something ... else

Changes are hard.

And it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[1], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[2], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[2], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[1], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[2], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![1], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[2], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[1], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![2], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[1], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[2], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[1], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[2], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[1], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[2], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[1], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[2], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[2], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[3], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[3], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[3], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![3], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[3], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[3], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[3], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[3], and

And it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[1], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[2], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[2], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[1], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[2], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![1], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[2], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[1], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![2], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[1], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[2], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[1], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[2], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[1], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[2], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[1], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[2], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[2], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[3], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[3], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[3], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![3], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[3], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[3], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[3], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[3], and

And it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[1], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[2], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[1], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[2], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[1], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[2], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![1], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[2], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[1], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![2], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[1], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[2], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[1], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[2], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[1], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[2], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[1], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[2], and it's frustrating BEING here all torn to pieces alive in DIRTY AIR sickening with bits off (emotions!) and STUPID eyes all over me and so OPEN(!!!)[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[2], and I wonder, and I wonder, and I WONDER, and what else is there to do?[3], and it can't be much fun for the DUMB SLAVES just around (over there) without the CAPITALS because they don't fucking deserve any - as they haven't made a sacrifice[3], and I know things need to change, BUT: I don't know which things, which things, which THINGS(!!!)?[3], and a few of these NIGHTMARES and DAYDREAMS I'll get a-WAY and be so far GONE, and so, so, SO a-ROUND here I'll go looking for the EXIT, when I'm ready, ha![3], and I can BELIEVE what I want to[3], and GOD(?!) oh, oh, OH: SAVE me from the funds and the bastards and the bitches and the goons and the clowns who write about them, and save me, save me, SAVE me - from MYSELF(!!!)[3], and I can BELIEVE when I want to[3], and this is the sound (which isn't a sound at this speed) of the chaos of the world inside, and I can't even imagine what it must be like outside, and, and, AND: YES(!), boys and girls, I'm almost satisfied with the ISOLATION[3], and I can believe, and so many "people" can't[3], and

Andrew Mack is going to be the chief executive of a genuine hedge fund!

Yes, it's real. You don't believe me? It has been confirmed, man. The Portman Square Capital hedge fund actually exists now. (I'm welling up. I'm so emotional.) Thanks to that visionary genius, Sutesh Sharma. I knew he would pull it off. I had faith in him. / Andrew Mack? He's going to be the chief executive. ('They know, Mikey.') I feel like celebrating. Drinks all a-ROUND! / And Toby is still there, and with the same name! Amazing! And Sutesh is still stubbornly hanging on to his surname. (The goddamn willpower of this man - like Napoleon!) Unbelievable! / And Portman Square is going to launch some nutty multi-strategy relative-value fund in November. Oh, brilliant! Dreams can come true. This is the proof.

_________________________

However, it's nearly lunchtime. So I can't write any more. / I'll celebrate this Portman Square stuff with a can of Pepsi, cheese rolls, some crisps, and a small blackcurrant cheesecake. Lovely!

After lunch, I'll be working on No. 57.

[No. 56] I can only save myself

Is that the truth?

And it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[1], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[2], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[2], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[1], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[2], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[1], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[2], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[2], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[1], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[2], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[1], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[2], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[1], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[2], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![1], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[2], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[1], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![2], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[2], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[3], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[3], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[3], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[3], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[3], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[3], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[3], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[3], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[3], and

And it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[1], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[2], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[2], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[1], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[2], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[1], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[2], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[2], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[1], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[2], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[1], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[2], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[1], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[2], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![1], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[2], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[1], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![2], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[2], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[3], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[3], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[3], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[3], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[3], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[3], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[3], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[3], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[3], and

And it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[1], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[2], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[1], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[2], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[1], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[2], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[1], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[2], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[2], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[1], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[2], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[1], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[2], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[1], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[2], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![1], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[2], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[1], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![2], and it's horrible a-ROUND here sometimes, and try to BELIEVE me, AND: it's every man for himself, and it's every woman for herself, and it's every poor rat in the sewer ...[3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[2], and every blind, diseased dog has to take care of itself, and every worm has to make a meal out of ...[3], and you can't force people a-ROUND, and souls will wander here and there looking for Christ knows what[3], and it's so easy to get depressed, oh yeah, and it's so easy to become PSYCHOTIC(!!!)[3], and a-ROUND here you need the willpower of Napoleon to keep it all together - if you want it all together[3], and please LISTEN: I'm saying LET IT GO(!!!) and just, OH(!!!), and just roll, roll, ROLL a-WAY, or ... SHIT(!!!)[3], and I can't even save myself, so what chance of saving YOU, a mere tourist a-ROUND these parts?[3], and WE(!) can only lose ourselves - if we're LUCKY, and maybe that's the best thing to wish for, to dream of, to achieve, and ...[3], and, AND, AND, a-ROUND is a nice fate(?!), and, I hope, and, I mean, and, I pray, and, AND: I try to convince EVERYONE(!!!), well ...[3], and so let's GO, let’s get beyond the THREE to find whatever is waiting for us, FASTER![3], and our DOOM, our PLEASURE, I don't know[3], and

The Kames Capital Global Equity Income fund

What's this? What do you think? See if you can guess. Yeah, you're not wrong. It's another new fund. It will be launched tomorrow (I think) by Kames Capital (obviously), and it will be managed by Piers Hillier and Mark Peden. It's being launched for their benefit, apparently. It's all right for some, ain't it? No one launches funds for me. But I suppose I'm only the world's foremost financial shaman. That don't mean shit to lot of people in the business. What do I care? I'll be having the last laugh on Judgement Day.

I could tell you more about this Kames stuff, but I refuse to. What's the point? / Anyway, there'll be another new fund tomorrow, and ... Maybe I'll tell you about it, and maybe I won't. And tomorrow, and tomorrow. I'm so tired. I'm sick of funds. 'Mikey, a man who is sick of funds is sick of life.' Oh shut it, you idiot! 'They work as a team. But what sets them apart is their willingness to share and challenge views within and across asset classes.' What are you talking about, Voice? 'Kames Capital, man!' Piss off!

What have I done to deserve this life, eh? / I know shamans who are not involved in finance. They seem to be happier than I am. They don't get dragged down into the sewer the way I do. They don't try to save people who are beyond saving. However, they do preach to the converted. I'm the one with the balls. I'm the one who went into the financial blogosphere knowing how hard it was going to be. (And I knew all the other financial writers were going to be pretty clueless.) But here I am, still standing after five years. It's got to be worth something.

Mundane life

I can't squeeze any more enjoyment out of mundane life. So I must commit to going a-ROUND now, and commit to songs: just commit to creating. That's the only real life.

I'll write about finance for a laugh. But I'm not going to be a mug about it. I'm not going to take it seriously. (Have I ever?) It's a rotten death in life. You have to be more than half-dead to squeeze anything out of it. I'm more than half-alive, so ... / I'll be fully alive soon.

"Who the hell is Colm O'Shea, and why on earth did he get paid £34 million last year?!?!"

All right. Don't get upset. Colm O'Shea is the founder of COMAC Capital, a hedge fund, and he worked hard for every penny, I'm sure. / Jesus! I can't believe some of you people. You're worse than Nick Clegg! 'Oh, Mikey, don't get me started on that tosser.' Cool it, Voice. It's too late at night for politics.

From the website: COMAC Capital LLP is a London-based discretionary global macro hedge fund manager. / Macro crap again. Never mind. You can't tell some people. They have to learn the hard way.

Man, it's too late for finance. The Duc de Richelieu wouldn't have any truck with finance at this hour. He would be fighting the powers of darkness. That's what I should be doing. I mean, that's what I'm trained for. I just feel I'm wasting my life on nonsense sometimes. / Satanists? I shit 'em.

I ain't got much to write about. / I'm listening to Brian Eno's Apollo again. I've been listening to this album, at night, for over twenty-five years. It never gets boring. It's an atmospheric masterpiece. / Outer space sounds so good, so inviting. / And I love that space cow, or whatever it is.

[No. 55] It's not a style, it's a concept

[1] + [2] + [3], [1] + [2] + [3], [1] + [2] + [3], ...

And, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[1], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[2], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[2], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[1], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[2], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[1], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[2], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![1], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[2], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![2], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[3], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[3], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[3], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![3], and

And, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[1], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[2], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[2], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[1], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[2], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[1], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[2], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![1], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[2], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![2], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[3], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[3], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[3], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![3], and

And, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[1], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[2], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[1], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[2], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[1], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[2], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[1], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[2], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![1], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[2], and, AND, AND, oh, it's not the repetition a-ROUND, and it's not the streams of consciousness: it's the concept that DOMINATES[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![2], and it's my IDEA ... there's something beyond or above or behind that is HOLY, almost[3], and I BELIEVE like a true believer[3], and it's when I get WILD and FAST, man, that's when I get a sweet taste of FREEDOM(!)[3], and I'll keep working it and pushing it until REALITY has changed for the better[3], and I'm so COMMITTED ... or maybe I should be, ha![3], and

[No. 54] It's gonna be hell

The words and the feelings will say when.

And I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[1], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[2], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[2], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![1], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[2], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![1], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![2], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[1], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![2], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[1], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[2], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[1], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[2], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[1], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[2], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[2], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[3], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[3], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![3], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![3], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[3], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[3], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[3], and

And I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[1], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[2], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[2], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![1], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[2], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![1], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![2], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[1], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![2], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[1], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[2], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[1], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[2], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[1], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[2], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[2], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[3], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[3], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![3], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![3], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[3], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[3], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[3], and

And I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[1], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[2], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[1], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[2], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![1], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[2], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![1], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![2], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[1], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![2], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[1], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[2], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[1], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[2], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[1], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[2], and I'll make it HELL when the time is right ... oh, when I'm ready for DESTRUCTION, yeah, when the stars are rocking or some shit? - well ...[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[2], and there'll be no one with the BALLS to stop me - and this is ME or a DEMON?[3], and oh unless you've been a-ROUND, man, you can't know how it grips you, and you can't know how LOST(!!!) it makes you(ME!!!)[3], and it's their MINDS I'll be after, and I'll make them as OPEN as my mind, and it'll be a FLOOD, and that's how I'll get them![3], and I didn't choose this, and I can't control this, and it came for me - that's the TRUTH![3], and who would be MAD enough to think I was enjoying myself?[3], and for these words, and these feelings, I'll SEARCH, and I'll DESTROY, and I'll get the blame[3], and their BLOGS(?!) won't save them, and their FUNDS(?!) won't save them, and c'est la fucking vie, eh?[3], and when it's through me, I'm HELPLESS(!), and when I'm a-ROUND it, Oh JESUS(!), I'm like a baby with an atom bomb[3], and

Daniel Bystrom is launching his Hawksfield Capital hedge fund - at last!

It's about time, ain't it? How long has it taken him? 'Years, Mikey.' Yes, years, Voice, you're not wrong. It's taken him years. 'Five years! He's got a name for it though, Hawksfield Capital. A lot of them don't have names, you know.' I know, Voice. It's because there are so many dreamers around (not a-ROUND? well ...). But Danny is a man of action - eventually. 'He was head of equity derivatives trading at MF Global, wasn't he? Is that a good sign?' Let's not discuss it. 'What about his partner, Neil Boyarsky?' Forget about Neil! 'All right, man.'

Yeah, all right. / I suppose it's a bit rich my criticizing Danny. I've been back into music for two years now and have very little to show for it. 'You’re a perfectionist genius, Mikey! Not some dodgepot hedgie.' That's true. Oh, you can't really compare us. And five years is an awful long time. What the hell has he been doing?! 'I guess he's just a dreamer who finally got his act together.' We'll see, Voice. 'His hedge fund has a name, man! Hawksfield Capital.' You need more than a name, son. 'He's putting his own money into it!' Really? How much? 'A few dollars. He'll probably ponce the rest off family and friends.' Yeah. Isn't that always the way with his sort?

Anyway, I wish Danny all the best. You've got to admire anyone launching a hedge fund in the present climate.

[No. 53] David Viniar will be a-ROUND forever

Here, or the sun, and out of our minds?

And, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[1], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![2], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[2], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![1], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[2], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[1], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![2], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[1], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[2], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[1], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[2], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[1], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[2], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[1], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[2], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[1], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[2], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[1], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[2], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![1], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[2], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[1], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![2], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[2], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[3], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[3], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![3], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[3], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[3], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[3], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[3], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[3], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[3], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[3], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[3], and

And, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[1], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![2], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[2], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![1], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[2], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[1], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![2], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[1], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[2], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[1], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[2], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[1], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[2], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[1], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[2], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[1], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[2], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[1], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[2], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![1], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[2], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[1], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![2], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[2], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[3], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[3], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![3], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[3], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[3], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[3], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[3], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[3], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[3], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[3], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[3], and

And, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[1], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![2], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[1], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[2], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![1], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[2], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[1], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![2], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[1], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[2], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[1], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[2], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[1], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[2], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[1], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[2], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[1], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[2], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[1], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[2], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![1], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[2], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[1], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![2], and, well, a surprise, HERE is Viniar, here, without his RAZOR, and it's a fresh start, so: let's take our hats off to the ANIMAL![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[2], and - YES(!) he's a ... THUG(!), but Viniar is going to be living the dream from now on, and so Lloyd will need a new enforcer[3], and - YES(!) he's an ... ANIMAL(!), but we're all animals, and you've got to be honest about yourself, ain't ya?[3], and I'm SO ooo happy for the GOLD MAN, man, YEAH(!), ah, oh - I only wish I could follow him, up, up, out of my stinking BLOG-SEWER and TOUCH the SUN!!![3], and there is HOPE, oh, there is another life, a better life[3], and he's my brother, just as Lloyd is my brother, and I know we'll be a-ROUND all together forever one fine eternity[3], and could this be the one fine eternity, a-ROUND the sun?[3], and, SHIT(!!!), is this the dream we're living, beyond the THREE, out of our minds?[3], and I don't know what's here, who's here, even where here is, or where any of us ... eh?[3], and wherever, I know we're pissing on the SLAVES who would drag us down if they could[3], and with HATRED in your HEART, what more do you need?[3], and we've got the life all the SLAVES want, and they can't hide their PAIN, and we can't hide our JOY!!![3], and I want MORE of this in a future so bright[3], and

Richard Chenevix-Trench?

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. I'm not sure there's anything I can do about this. 'Serious, ain't it, Mikey?' Yes, Voice. 'He died in the nineteenth century, you know. Heavy shit, man.' No he didn't. 'He did!' No, he's the chief investment officer of Sloane Robinson. 'Yeah, I know, from beyond the grave.' What?! He's in the land of the living! And he's taking some time off, a year or two. 'A year or two?! These people live in a different world, don't they?' Yes, Voice, they do. 'The other world.' No, not the other world. Oh - where do you live? 'In your head, Mikey. You know that.' Right. What a life!

Just imagine. Sloane Robinson manages assets in a variety of products, primarily focused on long/short equity in emerging, pacific and European markets. It manages assets with an absolute return focus on behalf of professional investors throughout the world. 'Well, that's a comfort, ain't it?' Yes, it is. / Anyway, things are changing at Sloane Robinson. Changes to one of its hedge funds, and another fund shutting down. Bosses are moving around (a-ROUND? no), and Richie's going off to do God knows what. 'Do we care, Mikey?' I'm concerned about Richie, man. He seems to have lost his way, the way. 'You can’t look after everyone. He's not your responsibility.' I'm the world's foremost financial shaman! 'Take a day off, son. Actually, take the rest of your life off.' I just might, Voice.

One day, I'll get beyond this finance crap. I'll go a-ROUND forever. Then I'll be living the dream. 'And that's all that Richie wants, too.' Yeah, I know. Maybe we shouldn't worry.

It will all work out.

What on earth is this John Chatfeild-Roberts at Jupiter?

No one told me, but now I find out. Yes, I find out about the existence of ... Chatfeild-Roberts. And at Jupiter! The home of financial shamans! And he's the chief investment officer! And he's been there for years! Oh, he's never been a-ROUND, of course. Something's not right, is it? How can he be explained?

I guess what's bothering me is the "e" before the "i". I don't like it! I think it's sinister. If we were dealing with Chatfield-Roberts, I could go to bed and get a good night's sleep, but - 'Forget about sleep, Mikey. You've got to find out why this absurd creature is called Chatfeild-Roberts, with that sinister "e" before the "i". Oh man, he gives me the creeps, I don't mind saying.' Yes, thank you, Voice. I think it's a bit strong your describing him as an absurd creature. There's probably a very reasonable explanation. 'You reckon? Don't kid yourself, Mikey. You know what goes on, how these "people" come out of nowhere with their hellish names and nutty job titles, expecting decent, God-fearing folk like us to believe in the reality of it all. I'm sick of it!' All right, Voice, that's enough. / I'll call one of my mates at Jupiter in the morning. 'Simple Simon?' Simon Somerville. He might be able to help me.

_________________________

Let me write about something else to take my mind of John. Just for a short while, until I feel sleepy. Music.

I'm listening to Neil Young's Harvest Moon. / Didn't get far with my guitar/songs yesterday. I don't know if I can write songs and this blog at the same time. I haven't got the energy. I should exercise more. I have a punch bag. I'll find a solution. / I think my first "new" song was too good. I'm struggling to reach that level again. However, I've got to because: that's the level of the great songwriters. (I refuse to be a mediocrity.) And my next song will be even better. I keep telling you (and myself) that the music is finished. I just need the lyrics. Words, words, words ...

My goal is to have three songs on the demo, each one better than your average songwriter's (these days) best song ever. I don't mean guys like Dylan, Young, McCartney, Bacharach; I mean, well, I won't mention any names. Listen to the charts. Use your imagination.

What time is it? I'm tired. I'm yawning, man ...

Lasair Capital is returning money to investors as well

Jesus H. Christ! Another hedge fund that doesn't like money. $250 million. Ridiculous! What's going on? Why are all these hedge funds returning money to investors? Investors don't know what to do with their money, do they? (Why do you think they give it to hedge funds in the first place? They aren't that bright, you know.) If you leave them to their own devices, they'll just spend it on a load of crap. / If you're a hedgie and you've got your hands on somebody else's cash, my advice is to keep it. What's the worst that can happen?

_________________________

Never mind. / Imagine wearing a turban and sleeping in the back of a hearse. Bob Dylan did that in the Seventies.

I'm writing this now, at night. I want to play my guitar tomorrow, well, later today.

I'll see if I can write a bit of music tomorrow/today. I'll leave the lyrics to last. Music is easy, for me. Actually, words are easy for me, here. It's just the lyrics. It's all psychological. Once I've broken through this BRICK WALL there'll be no stopping me. There's no reason why I can't be as creative with my songwriting as I am with my blogging.

I remember when I came back from Looe (Cornwall) exactly twenty-five years ago: within a few months I had written enough songs for a demo, and had recorded them in a studio with some musicians, while holding down a job and doing other shit. I was eighteen. Things are different now. I'm aiming for much higher quality. [This has nothing to do with hedge funds. So what? I'm writing about something important.] I'll play myself this time. I'll just record on my laptop. Simple recordings. And I can sing better now. I don't know why. I've already got the quality for nearly two songs. Just one more complete song, and a lyric. I can do it. I can break through. [This has nothing to do with hedge funds. This is for me, this writing. You don't have to read it. I don't expect anyone to read it.] I won't be wearing a turban, I know that much.

That's why I wanted to go to Looe again, rather than my beloved St Ives: to recapture a feeling or an attitude.

I want to write for other artists, but if anyone tries to talk me into a recording contract I might let them. Not my original intention, but I know I could do something that hasn't been done by anyone for years. The sort of music that people like Dylan and Young did in the Sixties/Seventies. Might be a lot of grief though. Probably better to write for others and live a quiet life in Cornwall, anonymous. I don't know. I'm confused. So many different ideas in my head, changing from day to day.

I'm writing this for my benefit, you understand, so I can look back at it one day, ten years, twenty years, and see what happened.

I'm still toying with the idea of deleting all music-related posts. I probably will. It doesn't matter when. This blog can get pretty messy at times, like life. So maybe I should leave it alone.

[No. 52] We have to help these "people"

It won't be easy.

And we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[1], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![2], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[2], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[1], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[2], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[1], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[2], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[2], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[1], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[1], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[2], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![1], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[2], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[1], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![2], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[2], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[1], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and should we be cruel to be kind?[1], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[2], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[2], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[3], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[3], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[3], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[3], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[3], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[3], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![3], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[3], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[3], and

And we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[1], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![2], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[2], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[1], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[2], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[1], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[2], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[2], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[1], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[1], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[2], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![1], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[2], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[1], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![2], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[2], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[1], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and should we be cruel to be kind?[1], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[2], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[2], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[3], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[3], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[3], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[3], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[3], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[3], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![3], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[3], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[3], and

And we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[1], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![2], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[1], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[2], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[1], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[2], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[1], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[2], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[2], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[1], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[1], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[2], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![1], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[2], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[1], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![2], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![1], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[2], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[1], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![2], and should we be cruel to be kind?[1], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[2], and we've got to be rough with the squares, and we've got to get into these "people" and crack their minds wide OPEN!!![3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[2], and we'll make them sick, and then they'll get well, and, well, it's all I can think of[3], and if these "people" ain't got their ETFs and shit, what have they got?[3], and we must be sympathetic, gotta understand that it's a sad, empty life[3], and if we take them a-ROUND, they're gonna soil their pants, but it'll be for the best[3], and imagine a rat's soul, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and I'm up to the challenge here because I ain't a-ROUND anywhere else this century[3], and I hope you can keep your nerve, yes, oh man, these "people" are evil freaks straight out of hell[3], and so let's not be too sympathetic, or actually, NO(!), sympathetic at all, it's a WAR!!![3], and their culture(?!), they ain't got no culture, son, daughter, shit(!), these are philistines, cold-blooded, and it ain't a laughing matter, as you'll find out[3], and imagine a maggot's mind, and that's what we're dealing with, one, two, three ... and so many of them![3], and maybe they can't be helped, and why are they even alive?, and THINK: there's only so much oxygen to go a-ROUND[3], and should we be cruel to be kind?[3], and

Pivotal Investments is returning money to investors!

'Why?' Well, it's going out of business because it couldn't raise enough money. 'Christ!' If it keeps returning money to investors like this, is it any wonder? 'I don't understand these hedge funds.' Yes, Pivotal is another hedge fund. Hong Kong. Mild-mannered janitors and all that. I don't have to say any more, do I?

'What will happen to Brian Yeh and Michael Sun, Mikey?' Don’t worry about them, Voice. 'I am worried, man.' Brian is going to ChinaRock Capital - a radio station, apparently. 'He's going to be a fucking disc jockey?!' Yeah. 'Bloody hell! What about Mickey?' Michael Sun is going to manage his own money, the little he has left. So, why he wants to return money to investors is a mystery. 'He must be really honest.' I suppose. Strange guy, eh? 'Nutter!'

I wonder what songs Brian will be playing. I'm listening to Neil Young at the moment. Down By The River, Mellow My Mind, Like A Hurricane, Cinnamon Girl, Revolution Blues ... 'All classics, Mikey! Do you think Brian will do requests? We might be able to listen over the internet.' I'll look into it, Voice.

[No. 51] Desperate for ... something

If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn - Charlie Parker

And it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[1], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[2], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[2], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[1], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[2], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[1], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[2], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[1], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[2], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[1], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[2], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![1], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[2], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[1], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![2], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[1], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[2], and I don't know what the chances are[1], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[2], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[3], and I don't know what the chances are[2], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[3], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[3], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[3], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[3], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[3], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[3], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![3], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[3], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[3], and I don't know what the chances are[3], and

And it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[1], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[2], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[2], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[1], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[2], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[1], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[2], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[1], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[2], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[1], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[2], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![1], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[2], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[1], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![2], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[1], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[2], and I don't know what the chances are[1], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[2], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[3], and I don't know what the chances are[2], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[3], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[3], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[3], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[3], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[3], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[3], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![3], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[3], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[3], and I don't know what the chances are[3], and

And it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[1], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[2], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[1], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[2], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[1], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[2], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[1], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[2], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[1], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[2], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[1], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[2], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![1], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[2], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[1], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![2], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[1], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[2], and I don't know what the chances are[1], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[2], and it's not always as much fun as it looks with an idiot's eyes, and you've got to look a lot deeper with those special eyes that deal with souls[3], and I don't know what the chances are[2], and you get those eyes, the specials, killer's, at the bottom of life where all the pain is, oh, ah, and YEAH(!), in the rubbish of life, the shit of life[3], and those eyes are always searching, they're always desperate, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone[3], and if you’re desperate for wisdom, YOU(!), oh, desperate to see some TRUTH (ha!), you'd be better off blind[3], and if I'm a-ROUND here I don't know it being so numb, and if you're a-ROUND here too I don't care, and how could I care?[3], and I can hardly see you over there, in s p a c e s, in p i e c e s, so be here, for me, PLEASE(!!!) because I care in my confusion[3], and I guess we're a-ROUND, together, and so let's spin a-ROUND until we're sick[3], and here look (feel) we're SICK sicker than all the squares who would run a mile from even a hint of pain, discomfort, and this is our desperation, and we're proud of it![3], and I know there's a salvation of some kind, and the suffering would be unbearable without the promise of it[3], and it's at times like this that you want to do away with a KILLER's eyes (that's what they are, man) in favour of a lover's softer eyes, but what'll we get?[3], and I don't know what the chances are[3], and