Monday, 12 February 2018

This PR email is a few days old ...

But Coutts say everything is going to be all right. 'I believe them, boss.' I believe them too, Voice. We should always believe Coutts.

Besides, everything is always all right, when you think about it. 'Eh?' Think of one bad situation in the past, Voice, dear reader(s), where everything wasn't all right after a while. 'Er ... when that asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs, boss.' Ha! Well, firstly, that was a long time ago. 'Yeah, of course.' And, secondly, everything was all right, eventually. 'Not for the dinosaurs.' Well, come on ... screw the dinosaurs, man! They had their chance. But they blew it, and then we took over. It'll be the spiders next time. 'The spiders?' Yes. The spiders will get their chance to run things, Voice. I'm convinced of that. 'And what about Elon Musk?' Elon Musk will be safely away from here, flying through the universe in one of his cockamamie rockets.

Anyway, the email ...

Equity markets in Europe and the US have so far remained calm since the equity sell-off earlier in the week, despite some volatility in Asia. While this could be investors in 'wait and see' mode, there are signs that trade volumes and levels of volatility are continuing to stabilize.  

Fair enough. Sounds reasonable, like.

It's impossible to predict how markets may move in the next few days but there are positive signs that markets are continuing to settle down. Trade volumes are steadily rising and volatility is beginning to fall.

Nothing about the dinosaurs. Shame. 'Or the spiders.' Or the spiders. Why didn't they mention the spiders?

There continues to be little sign of contagion across other asset classes and we are not seeing signs of a flight into safe-haven assets - in fact gold has fallen in value by 2% since the equity sell-off began.

Oh dear! Bad news for the gold freaks.

We remain confident in the health of the global economy and corporate sector, with earnings growing at 13% so far in 2018.

Nice one! / Thanks, Coutts!


Right. Anything else? I had the flu at the weekend. I'm getting better now though. 'That's not news, Mikey.' It's news to me, man. It's more important than some Coutts talking about the economy. I can't record my songs with the flu. 'Oh.' Yeah. / Oh, I've got twelve songs again, not thirteen. So, we're looking at a twelve-track album of about forty-eight minutes. That's all right. I think I'll give b-sides and bonus tracks a miss, if I can. I write so slowly that I can't spare the time or energy for such nonsense. The only problem is concerts. I mean, not having enough material, you dig? It might be a good idea to wait until a second album is recorded. That's what Prince did. 'You could support other artists, with a smaller set, like.' Like? I'm not sure I would like that, man. Besides, what artist would want to follow me on stage? 'Good point!' Festivals might be a better idea.

Anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves, ain't we? / Laters!