Well, I don't know. It's tempting. It's certainly tempting.
'What's this, boss?'
It's a PR email, Voice. From Claire. Look - !
Dear Michael,
I do hope you are doing well during these unusual times.
I'm writing on behalf of my client Andrianna Christofi who on Friday was revealed to be The Body in ITV's hit game show The Cube, which is now back on our screens with Phillip Schofield!
She is available to interview now regarding her time on The Cube, working with Phillip Schofield, her string of celebrity exes and how she maintains that enviable physique she is famous for!
With gratitude,
Claire
Okay, okay. I can see what's happening here. 'What?' This Body, this Andrianna, has fallen in love with me, but she's shy, you see. Really shy. 'Yeah.' So, she's got Claire to approach me, pretending she wants an interview. Oh, it's clever.
I get this a lot. Sure, I'm not as good-looking as I was in my twenties, but all the fit birds love my charisma and alpha-male frame these days. 'Ha! I think you've been watching too many of those videos on YouTube.' Shut up, idiot!
Christ. I would rather talk to The Body than The Voice. Do you know what I mean, dear reader(s)?
Anyway ...
British presenter, model and singer Andrianna Christofi has finally removed her mask after 10 years starring as The Body in ITV's hit game show The Cube.
In 2009 Andrianna was selected for her Wonderwoman-like athletic physique and skilled execution of the tasks. However until now her identity has remained a complete mystery as she embodied the iconic role that has been compared to 'The Stig' on Top Gear.
On being The Body, Andrianna says "My identity was Top Secret for such a long time. I was chosen because I was the only one that could play the games in the audition and actually do what they wanted me to do. You have to have that Alien stroke Robocop type manner about you."
At 5"11 her stature and curves also led to her being the model for the world's first hologram and the body behind superheroines Catwoman, Poison Ivy and Harlequin in the award-winning videogame Batman Arkham Asylum. Her showbiz background also includes singing alongside the Spice Girls, Michael Bolton and Boyzone.
Now focusing purely on TV presenting - she has previously presented for the Golden Globes, Sky Arts, BBC, ITV, Sony, Nintendo and the Monaco Grand Prix (to name but a few) - Andrianna is ready to make a splash as a presenter and ambassador for women's health and fitness.
You can follow Andrianna's adventures on Instagram here.
Right. Okay. So ... 'Are you going to contact her then, boss?' No. 'Why not? Are you scared?' Don't be silly, Voice.
Listen! I'm a man of mystery. She knows where I am.
ENDS.
...
Anything else? Music? My music?
Jesus H. - !!!
I can't keep writing about my music, kook(s). Not much changes day to day, you know?
'Your fans are obsessed with you, boss.'
I know, I know.
Imagine what it will be like when I eventually release some music. Total mayhem!
Fowkemania!
Laters!
