'Costello?!'
Be serious.
Yeah, I bought that new Elvis film yesterday - for my phone, like. I've been putting it off. I mean, it's £14 at the moment, and I was a bit sceptical ... about yet another film about the guy, and the guy playing him, and Tom Hanks, and the prospect of trying to concentrate on a film - or anything - for two and half hours. But it was all right, er, mama. The film was like a long stream of TikTok videos, and it was, uh ... great, actually, yes! It's definitely worth watching a few times. So, money well spent, I say.
'Yippee!'
What are you so happy about, Voice?
'About the money well spent, boss. That's rare these days.'
Yeah, I suppose.
Anyway ...
I was listening to my rough recordings at the weekend, again ... and doing a bit of rehearsing, also ...
And despite what my manager says ...
'Eh?'
You, idiot!
'Yes, me, but what do I say?'
This will be the demo -
Mighty Soul
Shady, Dodgy, Shifty
The Future
'Fair enough. I won't argue.'
They sound good together. And even though none of my BIG TEN are weak ... The Future is the only song that can follow those other two without a sense of anticlimax, you dig?
And it's a chance to make history!
'Ha! How?'
No unknown artist in, uh ... history ... has had three songs as great as those three ... for a demo, like.
'That's because you've been hiding at home for years, and working in secret.'
Well ... so?
I did what I had to do, man.
Anyway ...
Is there anything else?
'Er ... you don't mean ... news?'
I don't think so. I don't even imagine so. No! And that's the way we like it, isn't it? We don't want news about how depressing the world is.
We want crickets.
'Listen to the crickets, kooks!'
Shut up, Voice. You're drowning them out.
'Sorry.'
[A long time passes.]
Ah, lovely crickets!
Laters.
'Bye!'
