Where they play all the classic hits!
'Yippee!'
Are you excited, Voice?
'Yeah, man! What songs are they playing?'
Ha, ha, ha! All the old hits, son.
Let's tune in now ... maybe we'll get Sugar, Sugar ... or maybe ... Angels ...
LONDON, UK 19th April 2023 - KYND Limited, a provider of trailblazing cyber risk management technology, today announced that Phoenix Equity Partners, a leading growth-focused private equity investor, has selected KYND SIGNALS, an advanced multi-dimensional cyber risk management solution for investment portfolios. KYND SIGNALS will enable Phoenix to understand the complex cyber risk exposures that affect the operational aspects of their investment companies and in doing so manage the risks effectively.
Er ...
'Where are the bloody hits?!'
Er ...
'Oh, this is just some PR email, isn't it? About cyber risk management! And it's two weeks old!'
Yeah.
Never mind.
'I can't believe you sometimes.'
Shut up! I didn't know, Voice, did I?
'But didn't you read the email???'
Uh.
I thought they were playing all the hits.
Anyway ...
Let's go straight to the voices -
Steve Darrington, Phoenix's Chief Risk Officer, says: "Phoenix believes there is a huge difference between ticking a box and proactively taking steps to manage and mitigate risk. An increasing reliance on technology and rapidly expanding cloud presence means that the "vulnerability surface" of portfolio companies is larger than it has ever been, with each organisation's cyber risk profile being different and posing their own unique challenges. Thankfully, with partners like KYND we are able to tailor our focus to the unique profile of each business, identifying, prioritising and orchestrating the remediation of the cyber risks facing each portfolio company. Not only does KYND support building and maintaining an individual company's cybersecurity maturity, but it also plays an integral role in creating sustainable long-term value."
Thanks, Steve.
Andy Thomas, KYND's CEO and Founder, says: "We're delighted to partner with Phoenix Equity Partners and enable them and their portfolio companies to stay firmly ahead of cyber risk. In an era where technology is advancing at an unprecedented rate, the private equity sector is faced by an increasingly complex threat landscape, that if not actioned in a timely manner can inhibit their portfolio companies' growth. Our brand-new partnership with Phoenix brings real-time oversight and insight into the cyber risks that matter at a portfolio and individual level to prevent this from happening. Designed with private equity funds in mind, KYND SIGNALS' advanced technology puts Phoenix Equity's team in the driver's seat with cyber risk, making it easy to see, understand, and manage. Now, do you remember where you were in the summer of '78? If you were around then, you couldn't escape this song ... You're The One That I Want by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John!!!"
Ha! Okay. Thanks for trying, Andy.
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
...
Anything else?
Music?
I'll play some songs ...
Starman. David Bowie. / This was his breakthrough single in 1972, the one that started everything rolling for him. Even if you have loads of great songs, you always need a breakthrough song as a new artist ... something that captures people's imaginations, you dig?
The charts aren't important any more. It's popularity on the internet that matters. And - in theory - you can have a breakthrough "hit" on the internet even if you don't have a deal. That's what I'm hoping will happen with Shady, Dodgy, Shifty. I'll have to promote it a lot, of course. 'How are you going to promote it, Mikey?' That will have to remain a secret for the time being, Voice. I've got to record the bloody thing first.
All The Young Dudes. Mott The Hoople. / Why oh why oh why? Uh. Why oh why oh why?
Bowie should have kept this song for himself. Even Ian Hunter thought he was nuts for giving it away.
Bowie would have been massive!
Kiss. Prince. / Prince had more sense. Originally, he gave this song to some other artists to record, but ... when he heard their brilliant arrangement of it ... he took the song back ... with the arrangement! Ruthless!
Anyway ...
Laters, pop fans!
