Thursday 18 October 2007

A vision of Canary Wharf

O beautiful, glorious Canary Wharf, where the investment bankers roam free, I had a vision of you. You were a living thing alive in my dreams while I was still awake! In a mad rush through the astral plane of my mind I saw bankers, traders and analysts all dancing and singing - they were so happy to be alive. Your skyscrapers are magnificent - piles of banknotes reach for the sky! Where is the pain of life when you're surrounded by money? There is no pain. There is no grief. A wild celebration of the world's most mystical financial centre should swim through the minds of all the people who love money, who love stock, who love derivatives, who worship the gods of the holy cash.

The Square Mile is square! O Canary Wharf, come alive in the dreams of the men and women who work in your towers. Barclays, HSBC, Citigroup - let's celebrate the presence of these banks and all the others.

I had a vision. Financial shamans and money mystics and zombies and gods became one with the bankers and traders and analysts. One mass of people! Financial masters living in harmony. A money heaven on earth! It was so beautiful. Canada Square and Cabot Square were shimmering in a haze of mystical colour bleeding from the smiles of money ghosts on a day trip from the City of London. Don't fear the ghosts. Yes, they steal, but show no fear. And the money vampires? Forget them. For this was a good vision. There was no evil and no fear and everyone had money. People were stumbling around with money stuffed in their pockets - they were drunk on the success of the markets. Do not fear the credit crunch. It is a nightmare we shall all wake from. But my vision will live on. It will not fade. Take it into your heart and live it forever.

Where are your bonuses, your fortunes, your millions and billions, O you bankers and financiers? The greatest fortune is in your soul. There is money in your heart and you must cherish it. And cherish the towers of Canary Wharf. These are your temples where you worship the money gods. Big Herb and Ganesh are on your side.

My disciples, you've heard the words before, now hear them again - money is fire in the head! If you work in Canary Wharf, O my dreamy workers, toilers in cash, you must learn about the fire. Money is a burning! In my vision I saw the flames of the holy cash in everyone's eyes. No banker was without this fire. It will come to pass. It shall become the truth. The wise ones will live this truth. O you brave workers in Canary Wharf, you must take the lead now. Surely the Square Mile and even Wall Street will follow. You are the blessed ones. Take responsibility for all the money in the world and live a life in the fire of this money. You will grow. Your minds will expand. New horizons will open up for you, and you will glide towards your destiny.

O Canary Wharf, you are truly a living thing to me now. You breathe money and suck in all the souls of the money people who work in your towers. The glory is yours. Spread this glory. Let everyone share it. This is my vision. I am the money king and I can do anything. This is what I know. My vision will live. Money will burn me. Money will burn everyone.