Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Roger Guy ain't leaving Gartmore

Well, that's a fucking relief! I was saying to Keith last week when it all kicked off with Roger's mate Guillaume Rambourg getting suspended by Gartmore, I was saying, I was saying something along the lines of - oh, Keith, Roger better not get all upset now and have a fit and fall on the floor and start tearing at his clothes and wailing, with spittle out of his mouth, and snot in his hair, his eyes wildly spinning in their sockets, I know that's what we would do, but Roger has got to play it smart, he's got to keep his temper under control, that terrible temper of his, and just stay in the job, because there ain't no one who wants to see him leaving, leaving town, walking down the road like that sad Incredible Hulk prat at the end of each episode of that classic Seventies television show with the corny fucking music. And Keith agreed with me.

And do you know what this Mr Guy guy says? He says he's totally committed to the firm. He has always been totally committed to the firm. And we believe him. Keith and I believe him. And do you know why Keith believes him? It's because - and these are Keith Busby's own words, or near enough - it's because, it is because Keith has seen Roger, I have seen Roger, this million pound for a guy, in all his glory, in all his glorious insanity, burning it up in the astral desert of our ... our subconsciousnessesnesses! Keith has seen. I have seen. Keith knows, I knows, what kind of man Roger is. And I believe him as well, this Roger, because I have also seen him in flames, sand up his nose, all burnt up, mad septum, the lot of it, with voices and ghosts, all sticky with mystic love. And because I have seen, because Keith has seen, we know he is staying. That's why we believe. We believe this guy. We believe in Guy. And we know Guillaume is going to be all right. He will come back stronger than ever. Bigger than ever! Bolder than ever. With an aura that means business! Yes, he will have an aura that means business.

Of course, Guillaume does, he does, travel down life's lonely highway, like Dr David Banner. He has admitted it. That's why he needs Roger. These two men are soulmates. We are not going to stand idly by, no! We will not stand idly by, no! We will not stand by and allow this beautiful friendship to be broken up. These men were born to be together. That's the way Keith and I see it. And that's what we will be telling the bosses at Gartmore.

Keith and I are going to take action! Anyone can write a blog, moaning about this and that. But how many bloggers are prepared to take real action in a situation like this? Hardly any. But I will. And so will Keith. Even though he doesn't have a blog. But that doesn't matter. I am not going to cast the first stone at Keith. There's more to life than blogging, you know.

So we'll be having a word with these Gartmore slags. Oh, more than a word! We will lay into them with our fists if they don't bring Guillaume back into the bosoms of the Gartmore family. We will pound them into astral dust if they don't bring Guillaume in from the cold, to warm himself in the ... in the warmth that emanates from Roger Guy's aura. Yes, it will not come as surprise, will it? No! It has not come as a surprise for you to learn or not learn that Mr Guy already has an aura that means business. Even more reason to keep the two boys together.