Yes, it's finally happened. Jinksy has lost his mind. 'Boss, do that PR email about M&A transactions. You know, the one from Equiteq.' No, no, Voice. This is far more entertaining because our Jinksy is talking about treasure trucks, and Long John Silver, and the ghost of Captain Flint, and - 'Yeah, but your readers don't want to know about that shit. Your readers are serious people, boss.' Well, it's Christmas, man. Let's have some fun!
ParcelHero predicted on Monday that Amazon's Treasure Truck would sail in to UK cities. Now Amazon confirms X marks the spot for London and Manchester.
Amazon's treasure trucks, hugely popular with bargain hunters in the USA, are finally docking in the UK, as predicted earlier this week by the e-commerce delivery specialist ParcelHero.
ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Introducing the treasure trucks in the UK is a fabulous way for Amazon to maintain momentum post-Cyber Monday. The treasure trucks have been worth their weight in gold in publicity value for Amazon in the US. American shoppers seek out the trucks as eagerly as Long John Silver ever hunted treasure. Bargain hunters sign up for texts to be notified of sharply discounted deals on a treasure truck in their area and buy online before picking up from the vehicle at the time and location they select."
The Treasure Truck will sail into London and Manchester several times a month, says Amazon.
And David concludes: "It didn't need the ghost of Captain Flint to predict that if Amazon didn't introduce them to the UK soon a major buccaneering British retailer may well have stolen the idea. We're hugely excited to discover what treasures await onboard!"
ENDS
Yeah, ENDS. 'Totally off his rocker!' I thought I would get it out of the way in one big block, reader(s). So you can read about the treasure trucks, if you want to, or just ignore the whole story. I don't care. 'Ha!' Yeah, yeah, I know, Voice. I doubt these trucks exist outside of Jinksy's fevered imagination, but what can I do? He's fragile. I don't want to upset him. 'Boss.' What? 'I thought the company had changed its name to ParcelCompare ... ?' Ha! Well, that's another thing. In his delirium, Jinksy has gone back to using the old name. 'Christ!' Or maybe there's two companies. Who knows?! Who cares?!
Let's move on, eh?
...
Anything else? No, not really. 'Music update, Mikey?' Don't do those no more. Self-discipline, man. 'Okay. Brexit?' Don't discuss Brexit. As I say, self-discipline. It's a marvellous thing. 'What then?!' Nothing. Just nothing. 'Oh.' But I'll be working on a conceptual later.
Later(s), crocodile(s)!
ParcelHero predicted on Monday that Amazon's Treasure Truck would sail in to UK cities. Now Amazon confirms X marks the spot for London and Manchester.
Amazon's treasure trucks, hugely popular with bargain hunters in the USA, are finally docking in the UK, as predicted earlier this week by the e-commerce delivery specialist ParcelHero.
ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Introducing the treasure trucks in the UK is a fabulous way for Amazon to maintain momentum post-Cyber Monday. The treasure trucks have been worth their weight in gold in publicity value for Amazon in the US. American shoppers seek out the trucks as eagerly as Long John Silver ever hunted treasure. Bargain hunters sign up for texts to be notified of sharply discounted deals on a treasure truck in their area and buy online before picking up from the vehicle at the time and location they select."
The Treasure Truck will sail into London and Manchester several times a month, says Amazon.
And David concludes: "It didn't need the ghost of Captain Flint to predict that if Amazon didn't introduce them to the UK soon a major buccaneering British retailer may well have stolen the idea. We're hugely excited to discover what treasures await onboard!"
ENDS
Yeah, ENDS. 'Totally off his rocker!' I thought I would get it out of the way in one big block, reader(s). So you can read about the treasure trucks, if you want to, or just ignore the whole story. I don't care. 'Ha!' Yeah, yeah, I know, Voice. I doubt these trucks exist outside of Jinksy's fevered imagination, but what can I do? He's fragile. I don't want to upset him. 'Boss.' What? 'I thought the company had changed its name to ParcelCompare ... ?' Ha! Well, that's another thing. In his delirium, Jinksy has gone back to using the old name. 'Christ!' Or maybe there's two companies. Who knows?! Who cares?!
Let's move on, eh?
...
Anything else? No, not really. 'Music update, Mikey?' Don't do those no more. Self-discipline, man. 'Okay. Brexit?' Don't discuss Brexit. As I say, self-discipline. It's a marvellous thing. 'What then?!' Nothing. Just nothing. 'Oh.' But I'll be working on a conceptual later.
Later(s), crocodile(s)!
