Okay, okay. He's available for interview. But I just don't know, you know? I'll probably screw it up. You know what I'm like, dear reader(s). 'Who's available for interview, boss?' Tom. 'Oh, him. Tell him to do one!' Don't be like that, Voice. Tom is all right. 'Is he?!' He's a good guy.
I'll tell you what, kook(s), Voice ... I won't interview him, BUT(!) ... I will let him say a few words, RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW - !!!
'Let's do this, boss! I'm so pumped up!'
Ha, ha, ha! You make me laugh, idiot.
Okay, okay ...
Tom? This is your chance to shine, son.
Come on, then!
Oh, let's copy and paste this from the PR email first, so people know what the hell it is all about -
10th December 2020, London: Fintech business lender MarketFinance has secured funds from a European bank, through fintech CrossLend, to facilitate lending to UK businesses. The news comes as demand for finance is surging, with MarketFinance research indicating that as many as 84% of businesses will be seeking loans this winter. Already in 2020, MarketFinance has advanced over £342m for institutional investors to meet the needs of UK businesses.
Right. Now we're ready for Tom. 'You're putting a lot of pressure on him, boss.' I don't care! He's a professional. He should be able to cope. Or maybe he's in the wrong job. I mean - 'Let's not have any dark thoughts. Give our Tom a chance! I mean, I suppose we have to now ...'
Okay, okay.
Tom? We're ready for you. 'Make it good, Tom.'
Tom Stenhouse, CFO of MarketFinance, comments: "We have continued to support the UK's business community with funding throughout the pan, er .. thing, The Thing ... and impact of the stop-start lockdowns. We have taken a measured approach, assessed their, uh ... Thing exposure, yes, and determined that they remain robust businesses. Deep breath. We're grateful to all our investors who have helped us lend £2 billion over the past 9 years. Our investor base ranges from HNWs to institutions including Barclays and the British Business Bank. As we grow our product offering and client base we're excited to be able to offer even more investors the opportunity to be a part of the pan dem, Christ! ... The Thing!, The Thing! ... recovery and enable more small businesses to get the working capital they need."
Okay, uh ... thanks, Tom. Yes, we call it The Thing. Never mind. / What did you think of that, Voice? 'It wasn't too bad, boss. But I think we should hear from Ollie.' Why? 'I just think we should. Tom was pretty nervous.' Well, that was our fault. We built him up too much. 'Let's just hear what Ollie has got to say.' All right.
Ollie?
Oliver Schimek, CEO and Founder at CrossLend adds: "CrossLend is pleased to continue working with MarketFinance, particularly in these Thing times. Both on the origination and investment side, huge challenges have presented themselves for market players, and we have been able to offer our support through providing our specialized tools and digital infrastructure. We have demonstrated flexibility by tailoring our structure to help get funding to SMEs across Europe. We are happy to be doing our part to contribute to the recovery effort."
That's how you do it! Nice and smooth. 'Lovely!' Yep.
Well done, Oliver!
ENDS
...
Anything else? Yes. Music.
When I play the four songs for my demo ...
This World Don't Mean a Thing
Nothing
Malibu
Stella
... early in the morning, without any warm up whatsoever ... I perform them perfectly now.
On the day of recording, I'll probably rehearse for a couple of hours.
With the 2016 demo, I rehearsed shorter and easier songs for hours and hours and hours, oh, days and weeks and months, Jesus H. ... and made countless recordings, and still I sounded, well ...
I don't listen to that demo any more, and I won't be using the songs.
The moral of the story?
If you're doing something really difficult, dear reader(s), it will become easy after about ten years.
It's like being a Samurai or a Spartan.
Seriously.
Laters!
