Oh no!
'What's the problem, boss?'
There's no problem, Voice. I'm just trying to be dramatic on a Monday morning ... to get some excitement going, you know?
'Ha! Well, you've failed miserably. Just do the bloody email.'
Uh.
Bilthoven, Netherlands; London, United Kingdom: 20 June 2022 - Astorg, a leading European private equity firm, is pleased to announce that it has signed an agreement to acquire a majority stake in Avania (or the "Company") from Kester Capital ("Kester"). Avania is one of the leading global clinical CROs ("Contract Research Organization") dedicated to medical technology. Astorg, alongside Kester who intend to retain a minority stake, will actively support management's plans to accelerate Avania's development, organically and through M&A.
I think it was a mistake. Well, two mistakes, actually.
'What's that?'
Noel Gallagher and Paul McCartney played too many obscure songs at Glastonbury. They should have just played the hits.
'Yeah.'
McCartney should have started with Live and Let Die, finished with Maybe I'm Amazed, with all Beatles songs sandwiched between those two.
Anyway ...
Avania is one of the leading global providers of outsourced clinical trial services specifically focused on medical technology, covering the full regulatory lifecycle across a broad range of therapeutic areas. Headquartered in the Netherlands, and with eight offices across North America, Europe and Asia Pacific, Avania serves 300 medical device OEMs of different sizes through an integrated service offering including clinical trial management, biostatistics, regulatory consulting, data analytics, medical writing and reimbursement. The Company has experienced strong organic growth thanks to its differentiated proposition in a fast-growing market driven by innovation, increasing regulation and penetration of outsourcing.
I didn't finish And Rain Came Down or The Future. 'Why not?' I didn't feel like it. 'Oh.' I was watching Glastonbury.
And I went to the "Ringo" side of the river yesterday, but I'm going off it. Too many joggers. Next time, I'll go to the other side of the river. 'Aren't there joggers there, too?' Yes, there are, but there's more space to sit down on benches and that.
Astorg's investment, alongside an anticipated minority reinvestment by Kester and management, will enable the Company to continue expanding its service offering and geographic coverage, while actively executing M&A opportunities in a fragmented market. Avania is the third investment made by Astorg's Mid-Cap fund.
I'll finish the lyrics this week. 'How do you know?' I'm not watching TV or YouTube videos, or listening to music again until the weekend. Silence for five days! 'Have you got the discipline for that, boss?' Ha! We'll see.
'Sapna wants to say something.' Christ!
Come on then.
Sapna Hornyak, CEO of Avania, says: "The platform we have built to date with the support of Kester has positioned us ahead of our competition in the MedTech CRO space. We are delighted to be adding Astorg as our partner which will bring additional investment to strengthen our infrastructure, capital for acquisitions and added expertise and insight as we continue to grow Avania into the clear market leader."
Uh. It's Monday morning. Sapna, you do know it's Monday morning? 'The sun is shining.' Sapna, the sun is shining.
It's like talking to a brick wall.
'Edouard wants to say something.'
Really?
Okay.
Edouard Pillot, Managing Partner of Astorg Mid-Cap, comments: "We are extremely pleased to partner with Sapna and her team, as well as Kester, on this transaction. We believe that the fragmented MedTech CRO market presents a compelling opportunity to create a differentiated, scaled, global player dedicated to medical technology. Having monitored Avania's development for a long time, we believe that it is the ideal platform to carry out this thesis. Being one of the global leaders in a profitable and fast-growing niche market, Avania squarely fits with Astorg's investment criteria, and we are delighted to have Avania as our first Mid-Cap Healthcare deal, sitting within Astorg's broader Healthcare portfolio."
Well ...
'Enrico wants to say something.'
OH, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!
Enrico Grasso, Partner of Astorg Mid-Cap, adds: "We have been very impressed with what Sapna and her team have achieved over the last few years successfully transforming Avania through a number of strategic acquisitions. The Company is now uniquely positioned to capitalise on the strong market growth driven by increasing regulation and further penetration of outsourcing. We are excited to have the opportunity to support Avania through the next stage of its journey and be part of a company that plays a key role in improving patient health and well-being."
I just ...
'I'm out of here.'
Yeah, bye.
Adam Maidment, Managing Partner of Kester Capital, comments: "It has been a pleasure to work alongside Sapna and her team over the last 6 years building Avania into the leading MedTech CRO platform. We are delighted to have the opportunity to invest alongside Astorg and continue our involvement in this exceptional business."
Right.
The terms of the transaction were not disclosed.
Whatever.
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
...
Listen! When I'm the biggest star in the world ... I'm going to play my best and most popular songs for my fans BECAUSE ...
It's popular culture, you dig?
Anything and everything you do in popular music is a part of popular culture, so you're delusional if you think you're doing anything else. Anything "serious".
[I got all the high culture I want spinning a-ROUND ...]
Music is entertainment. Or it should be.
And I was watching some indie-type band. Cool guys being cool and edgy. "Oh, look how edgy we are with our rock."
Yeah, yeah.
I actually spoke to them through the TV set: "The Velvet Underground and The Stooges did this over fifty years ago. Yes, over half a century ago. Have you got anything else? Something new, perhaps?"
Crickets.
There is nothing new. These people are delusional.
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
