Monday 8 August 2022

[No. 1,021] I thought it was a giant seagull

But no! It was the Owlman.

And, so ...[1], and very early one morning ...[1], and, so ...[2], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[1], and very early one morning ...[2], and I was walking along ...[1], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[2], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[1], and I was walking along ...[2], and staring at the sea ...[1], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[1], and staring at the sea ...[2], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[2], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![1], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[2], and ... it was huge![1], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![2], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[1], and ... it was huge![2], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[1], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[2], and, uh ... what?![1], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[2], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owlman!!![1], and, uh ... what?![2], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[1], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owl man!!![2], and I turned my eyes away ...[1], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[2], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[1], and I turned my eyes away ...[2], and, oh ... he was so angry![1], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[2], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![1], and, oh ... he was so angry![2], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[1], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![2], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[1], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[2], and I waited ...[1], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[2], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[1], and I waited ...[2], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[1], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[2], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[1], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[2], and I smiled ... at peace![1], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[2], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[1], and I smiled ... at peace![2], and ... 'Amazing!'[1], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[2], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[1], and ... 'Amazing!'[2], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[1], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[2], and, so ...[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[2], and very early one morning ...[3], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[3], and I was walking along ...[3], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[3], and staring at the sea ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[3], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[3], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![3], and ... it was huge![3], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[3], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[3], and, uh ... what?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the O  w  l  m  a  n!!![3], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[3], and I turned my eyes away ...[3], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[3], and, oh ... he was so angry![3], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![3], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[3], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[3], and I waited ...[3], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[3], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[3], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[3], and I smiled ... at peace![3], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[3], and ... 'Amazing!'[3], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[3], and

And, so ...[1], and very early one morning ...[1], and, so ...[2], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[1], and very early one morning ...[2], and I was walking along ...[1], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[2], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[1], and I was walking along ...[2], and staring at the sea ...[1], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[1], and staring at the sea ...[2], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[2], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![1], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[2], and ... it was huge![1], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![2], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[1], and ... it was huge![2], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[1], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[2], and, uh ... what?![1], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[2], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owlman!!![1], and, uh ... what?![2], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[1], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owl man!!![2], and I turned my eyes away ...[1], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[2], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[1], and I turned my eyes away ...[2], and, oh ... he was so angry![1], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[2], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![1], and, oh ... he was so angry![2], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[1], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![2], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[1], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[2], and I waited ...[1], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[2], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[1], and I waited ...[2], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[1], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[2], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[1], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[2], and I smiled ... at peace![1], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[2], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[1], and I smiled ... at peace![2], and ... 'Amazing!'[1], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[2], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[1], and ... 'Amazing!'[2], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[1], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[2], and, so ...[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[2], and very early one morning ...[3], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[3], and I was walking along ...[3], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[3], and staring at the sea ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[3], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[3], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![3], and ... it was huge![3], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[3], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[3], and, uh ... what?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the O  w  l  m  a  n!!![3], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[3], and I turned my eyes away ...[3], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[3], and, oh ... he was so angry![3], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![3], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[3], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[3], and I waited ...[3], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[3], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[3], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[3], and I smiled ... at peace![3], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[3], and ... 'Amazing!'[3], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[3], and

And, so ...[1], and very early one morning ...[1], and, so ...[2], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[1], and very early one morning ...[2], and I was walking along ...[1], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[2], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[1], and I was walking along ...[2], and staring at the sea ...[1], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[1], and staring at the sea ...[2], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[2], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![1], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[2], and ... it was huge![1], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![2], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[1], and ... it was huge![2], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[1], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[2], and, uh ... what?![1], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[2], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owlman!!![1], and, uh ... what?![2], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[1], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the Owl man!!![2], and I turned my eyes away ...[1], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[2], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[1], and I turned my eyes away ...[2], and, oh ... he was so angry![1], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[2], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![1], and, oh ... he was so angry![2], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[1], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![2], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[1], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[2], and I waited ...[1], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[2], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[1], and I waited ...[2], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[1], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[2], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[1], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[2], and I smiled ... at peace![1], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[2], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[1], and I smiled ... at peace![2], and ... 'Amazing!'[1], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[2], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[1], and ... 'Amazing!'[2], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[1], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[2], and, so ...[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[2], and very early one morning ...[3], and ... 'This is gonna be good!'[3], and I was walking along ...[3], and, yeah, yeah ... alone on the clifftop, just the way I like it[3], and staring at the sea ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... thinking about life ... all kinds of worthless thoughts[3], and I was really feeling ... ... ...[3], and, suddenly!!! ... out of the blue sky ... a giant winged beast came towards me, red eyes aflame - like the fires of hell![3], and ... it was huge![3], and I won't lie ... I was afraid ... I thought to myself ... "These are my last moments on earth"[3], and then came the big booming voice: "Mikey, did you bring the pasties?"[3], and, uh ... what?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! ... then I knew ... oh, man, I knew ... that this was no giant seagull ... it were the O  w  l  m  a  n!!![3], and ... "I have no pasties for you, Mr Owlman"[3], and I turned my eyes away ...[3], and he replied: "You're a fool, coming to my land, with no pasties - I demand pasties!"[3], and, oh ... he was so angry![3], and, so ... I ran to the nearest bakery ... I bought ten pasties ... cost me over thirty quid![3], and I ran back to the clifftop as fast as my legs would carry me ...[3], and ... "Here you are, Mr Owlman ... I've bought ten pasties for you in different flavours ... please don't hurt me!"[3], and I waited ...[3], and the Owlman smiled, and I was relieved[3], and the wind blew so hard ... and waves crashed against the rocks ...[3], and the Owlman spake unto me: "Mikey, my friend, I could never hurt you ... you're not like the other humans"[3], and I smiled ... at peace![3], and then he flew off ... disappeared into the Cornish sky[3], and ... 'Amazing!'[3], and this is a true story, kooks ... and the moral of the story is anyone's guess ... but it was a great experience[3], and then I went looking for dolphins ...[3], and