Will there be any branches left from any bank? That's the big question of the day.
'You should put it in capitals, boss.'
What?!
'If it's the big question of the day, like.'
Shut up!
Anyway ...
PR email.
In response to further HSBC branch closures, founder and CEO of My Community Finance, Tobias Gruber, said: "I'm in heaven when you smile."
'He said that?!'
No.
"I'm not surprised HSBC have announced they're set to close yet more branches as customers transition to online banking in their droves, but I hope the bank will plough the money saved into improving their digital and telephone banking offerings for their customers."
Hang on! People need branches, son!
"It's unacceptable for bank customers to wait up to 30 minutes to speak to someone when it's their only choice because their local branch has vanished. There are no excuses to keep customers on hold, considering the vast amount of money banks generally save from closing their high street branches."
We need branches. We need bank workers we can see!
"Post offices are one alternative for basic transactions like paying in cheques and cash, but this move by HSBC will undoubtedly leave even more rural customers that don't wish and unable to use the internet to do their banking frustrated, stuck and unable to access their money."
What about city customers??? Are they all right???
'He's out of order, boss!'
Well, Voice ... I suppose we can't blame Tobias for what HSBC is getting up to.
Anyway, a bit about the guy ...
Tobias Gruber is the founder and CEO of My Community Finance. For the past 30 years, he's been a prominent leader in investment banking and asset management for some of the sector's most renowned banks, including Credit Suisse, SwissBank, JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley.
Oh, I see.
Never mind.
Wait!!! Fast forward to 2018, Tobias launched My Community Finance to provide a platform for the financially excluded, helping people to get back on their feet with ethical and socially responsible lending. Within 36 months, My Community Finance has become accountable for 25% of borrowing within the Credit Union sector.
Okay. Chill, man.
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
...
Anything else?
Christ.
Kooks! What part of ENDS don't you understand?
'Nine times.'
Nine times!
I'm tired.
Laters.
