Er - this must be a joke, right? Guy de Blonay is going to work with Philip Gibbs on the Financial Opportunities fund at Jupiter Asset Management. Tell me someone is having a laugh. Those two characters won't be able to work together. It will be like Tom and Jerry. It won't be like Morecambe and Wise. It will be like Tom and Jerry. They won't get on.
I have been speaking to award-winning financial psychic Keith Busby. Keith is a personal friend of both Guy and Phil. This is what he told me: 'Mikey, I love these fucking guys to death - especially Guy; but this will be a disaster. I have never known two men who were so dissimilar. Guy is the sort of guy who is out in the astral desert every night of the week, burning wildly like a hollow man with a real hunger for something that cannot be put into words. (Well, Keith, a man after our own hearts, yeah?) Definitely, Mike. You've met him. You know how fanatical he is. You only have to give him a glimpse of aura, maybe a quick peek at a whirling chakra, and he's off beyond the world of the cold earth wanderers. And that's where we come to Philip Gibbs. Now, I've known Phil a number of years, and I can tell you that he has always been the coldest of cold earth wanderers. That's a fact! There is not one flame in his heart. There is not even a spark. (Jesus, Keith. Why are you friends with this guy?) Phil? (Yeah, Phil.) Well, I see him as a challenge, you know? (You want to turn him?) Fuckin' A! I know Phil has potential. I've seen something in his eyes. (Seen what?) The yearning. (Oh, the yearning.) He wants to believe. I know he does. (What he needs, Keith, is someone - maybe you yourself, you know him best - to put that first spark into his heart, you dig? Take him into the desert, Keith. Make him a burning man.) He won't go, Mike. I've asked him. I've pleaded with him. (He probably wants to go. It's just fear holding him back. Tell him that if he wants to have a decent working relationship with Guy he will have to go.) I'll tell him. (Because Guy won't be happy working with some square. Maybe he'll tolerate the situation for a few months, but he'll flip eventually.) Mike, worst comes to the worst, we'll drag Phil out there, the two of us. (He'll thank us for it.) Of course he will.'
Phil, mate, we'll be in touch. Watch out for a couple of mystic flames flickering in the night sky. That will be Keith and me coming to get you.
