[No. 815] I don't fear the gods

They love me.

And the gods are my friends[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[1], and the gods are my friends[2], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[2], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[2], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and my mind is fixed - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[2], and I'm GONE - !!![1], and my mind is fixed - !!![2], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[1], and I'm GO NE - !!![2], and what a life, eh?[1], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[2], and the gods are my friends[3], and what a life, eh?[2], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[3], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[3], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[3], and my mind is fixed - !!![3], and I'm G  O  N  E - !!![3], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[3], and what a life, eh?[3], and

And the gods are my friends[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[1], and the gods are my friends[2], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[2], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[2], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and my mind is fixed - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[2], and I'm GONE - !!![1], and my mind is fixed - !!![2], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[1], and I'm GO NE - !!![2], and what a life, eh?[1], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[2], and the gods are my friends[3], and what a life, eh?[2], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[3], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[3], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[3], and my mind is fixed - !!![3], and I'm G  O  N  E - !!![3], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[3], and what a life, eh?[3], and

And the gods are my friends[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[1], and the gods are my friends[2], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[1], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[2], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[2], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and my mind is fixed - !!![1], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[2], and I'm GONE - !!![1], and my mind is fixed - !!![2], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[1], and I'm GO NE - !!![2], and what a life, eh?[1], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[2], and the gods are my friends[3], and what a life, eh?[2], and the gods only want ... what's best for me[3], and I've been chosen! ... I chose myself - as you know[3], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and a-ROUND here ... an insane destiny can make a lot of sense, but you have to be so gone(!) in your head[3], and my mind is fixed - !!![3], and I'm G  O  N  E - !!![3], and I'm feeling ... oh, oh, oh ... so fine[3], and what a life, eh?[3], and

StoneX

SpaceX - ??? No, no, no. StoneX. 'What's this all about, boss?' This, Voice? This - !!!

INTL FCStone Inc. (NASDAQ: INTL) (the "Company"), a Fortune 100 provider of execution, post-trade settlement, clearing and custody services across asset classes and markets worldwide, today announced that it is rebranding the firm as StoneX Group Inc. ("StoneX").

So, uh ... yeah, it's a PR email, but, uh ... 'Not from today, boss.' No, not from today. It's from last week. 'Christ! Why didn't you do it last week?' Because I did other emails last week. I get so many now. 'Ha! Why are you so popular with these PR freaks?' I don't know, man. Maybe they like my style.

INTL experienced a record quarter, completed a material acquisition of Gain Capital, broke $1 billion market cap, ranked in the Fortune 100, and filed for their upcoming rebrand all within the past few months. INTL FCStone's recent acquisition of Gain Capital was another major step in a decade-long strategy aimed at making INTL a provider of financial services focused on under-served clients in niche markets.

Fair enough. I don't have any complaints.

While the 2008 crisis hurt the bulge bracket banks, it provided INTL FCStone with unexpected opportunities for growth. As larger investment banks derisked by withdrawing from markets around the globe and narrowing their offerings, INTL invested in retaining its broad capabilities to better serve its clients. The crisis also drove consolidation among smaller players, allowing INTL FCStone to make multiple strategic acquisitions that support each of its business lines in recent years - making 15+ acquisitions over the past 5 years, with five acquisitions in the last year alone.

Oh, well, okay. 'And do you have anything to say about it, boss?' Me?! What could I possibly say about any of this? Except ... no endorsements! I never endorse anything. I mean, let's be honest ... I don't understand half of what goes on in finance. I don't understand quarter. 'But you could understand ... if you wanted to.' Yes, Voice, that's absolutely correct. I could understand ... if I wanted to.

Life is too short. That's the problem.

...

Okay, okay. Let's talk about music, kook(s)!

No! Actually, let's talk about Julius Caesar. Listen! I'm not suggesting that anyone should become as immoral as Caesar. He did bad things.

Personally, I'm just a musical Caesar. 'Eh?! I thought you were a musical Musk, Mikey?' Ha!

[O Lord, what am I?!]

No, no, no. Caesar had the action. He had the personality. The whole package. And no Twitter memes!

He's the perfect antidote to the modern world. Look at how soft everyone is! How silly!

Teras. That's him. And that's me.

...

Anything else? Uh ... music? All right, you've talked me into it. 'Me?' No, them.

I will finish We'll Show Them Heaven soon BECAUSE(!) ... such tunes are rare. It's simple, but it has grandeur. Like Imagine.

That will give me eight top tunes then. I need ten - for the sake of my mental health. Does that sound silly to you, dear reader(s)? Well, it's not.

Laters.

[No. 814] Control your moods, and the world is yours!

Look into my eyes.

And, so ...[1], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and, so ...[2], and, and, and ... I have words for you[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[1], and, and, and ... I have words for you[2], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[1], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[2], and take a deep breath[1], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[1], and take a deep breath[2], and be happy, come on![1], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[2], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[1], and be happy, come on![2], and I see you ... trying to hide[1], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[2], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[1], and I see you ... trying to hide[2], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[1], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![1], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[2], and most people are broken ...[1], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![2], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[1], and most people are broken ...[2], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[1], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[2], and if you don't want to conquer the world ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[1], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[2], and I'll never understand you ...[1], and if you don't want to conq uer th e wo rld ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[2], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[1], and I'll never understand you ...[2], and you'll never understand me ... ?[1], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![1], and you'll never understand me ... ?[2], and, why, why ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![2], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![1], and, why, why ...[2], and ... Why do I bother?![1], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![2], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[1], and ... Why do I bother?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[1], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[2], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[2], and, so ...[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[2], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and, and, and ... I have words for you[3], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[3], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[3], and take a deep breath[3], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[3], and be happy, come on![3], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[3], and I see you ... trying to hide[3], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[3], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![3], and most people are broken ...[3], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[3], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[3], and if you don't want to c  o  n  q  u  e  r t  h  e w  o  r  l  d ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[3], and I'll never understand you ...[3], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[3], and you'll never understand me ... ?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![3], and, why, why ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![3], and ... Why do I bother?![3], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[3], and

And, so ...[1], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and, so ...[2], and, and, and ... I have words for you[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[1], and, and, and ... I have words for you[2], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[1], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[2], and take a deep breath[1], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[1], and take a deep breath[2], and be happy, come on![1], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[2], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[1], and be happy, come on![2], and I see you ... trying to hide[1], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[2], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[1], and I see you ... trying to hide[2], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[1], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![1], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[2], and most people are broken ...[1], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![2], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[1], and most people are broken ...[2], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[1], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[2], and if you don't want to conquer the world ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[1], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[2], and I'll never understand you ...[1], and if you don't want to conq uer th e wo rld ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[2], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[1], and I'll never understand you ...[2], and you'll never understand me ... ?[1], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![1], and you'll never understand me ... ?[2], and, why, why ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![2], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![1], and, why, why ...[2], and ... Why do I bother?![1], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![2], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[1], and ... Why do I bother?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[1], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[2], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[2], and, so ...[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[2], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and, and, and ... I have words for you[3], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[3], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[3], and take a deep breath[3], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[3], and be happy, come on![3], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[3], and I see you ... trying to hide[3], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[3], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![3], and most people are broken ...[3], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[3], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[3], and if you don't want to c  o  n  q  u  e  r t  h  e w  o  r  l  d ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[3], and I'll never understand you ...[3], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[3], and you'll never understand me ... ?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![3], and, why, why ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![3], and ... Why do I bother?![3], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[3], and

And, so ...[1], and, ha, ha, ha![1], and, so ...[2], and, and, and ... I have words for you[1], and, ha, ha, ha![2], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[1], and, and, and ... I have words for you[2], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[1], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[2], and take a deep breath[1], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[1], and take a deep breath[2], and be happy, come on![1], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[2], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[1], and be happy, come on![2], and I see you ... trying to hide[1], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[2], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[1], and I see you ... trying to hide[2], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[1], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![1], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it[2], and most people are broken ...[1], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![2], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[1], and most people are broken ...[2], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[1], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[2], and if you don't want to conquer the world ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[1], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[2], and I'll never understand you ...[1], and if you don't want to conq uer th e wo rld ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[2], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[1], and I'll never understand you ...[2], and you'll never understand me ... ?[1], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[2], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![1], and you'll never understand me ... ?[2], and, why, why ...[1], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![2], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![1], and, why, why ...[2], and ... Why do I bother?![1], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![2], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[1], and ... Why do I bother?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[1], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[2], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[2], and, so ...[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[2], and, ha, ha, ha![3], and, and, and ... I have words for you[3], and, seriously, yes ... take my advice ... / and are YOU(!), well ... feeling sleepy, uh, no, dizzy?[3], and maybe I'll control you, if you can't control yourself ...[3], and take a deep breath[3], and a-ROUND here ... I'm so relaxed[3], and be happy, come on![3], and a-ROUND here ... my brain doesn't even notice the damage[3], and I see you ... trying to hide[3], and cherish the voice, my voice, any voice ... and I have known so many voices in my seasons on earth[3], and the world is a broken mess, waiting for a genius to fix it ...[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want ... ? Christ![3], and most people are broken ...[3], and, listen ... if you weren't so closed off to me, oh, away from me! ... I could help you[3], and I suppose you like to suffer ...[3], and if you don't want to c  o  n  q  u  e  r t  h  e w  o  r  l  d ... maybe I'll give you a slice of it, after I have[3], and I'll never understand you ...[3], and it's reality that I really want ... to call my own, like[3], and you'll never understand me ... ?[3], and you, you, YOU(!) ... you can't be free, living the way you do ... man, it's barely living at all![3], and, why, why ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... I spin, to glory![3], and ... Why do I bother?![3], and your soul must be aching for instruction ... yes?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and your eyes are everywhere when I close mine[3], and I see you ... oh, you can't hide[3], and

What's OpenFin?!

"I fear the gods, gentlemen." Christopher Walken.

OpenFin? I have no idea. 'Quant Insight has launched on it, boss.' I know, Voice, I know. 'From that PR email.' I know, I know. Christ.

London, New York, 25 June, 2020: Quant Insight (Qi), the macro data analytics firm that applies innovative quantitative techniques to financial markets, today announced the firm has launched their desktop application on OpenFin, the operating system of finance.

Oh, it's the operating system of finance.

The collaboration enables the seamless deployment of Qi's quantitative macro analytics on OpenFin's OS, giving end-users a simple, comprehensive macro solution to aid their strategy, via an integrated API and an enhanced user experience dashboard. This will allow users to identify investment opportunities and manage risk, whether they are bottom-up or top-down in approach.

Oh, okay. 'But what does Mahmood say? What does Adam say?' Give me a moment. Er ... 'Come on then, boss.' I want to talk about that film I bought first, Voice. You know, for my phone. 'What?!' Julius Caesar, starring Jeremy Sisto, Richard Harris, and Christopher Walken. 'We can do this afterwards, in the Anything Else? section.' No! I'm doing it now. Mahmood and Adam won't mind. 'Okay.' Well, it's a good film. 'Yes. And?' It's just a good film. Listen! I don't want to write about finance no more. 'Jesus H. - !!! Just do the voices. Come on!' All right ...

Mahmood Noorani, Founder and CEO of Quant Insight, says: "Making Qi available through the OpenFin ecosystem will allow us to efficiently deliver continuous quant macro data to users without large overheads. Our customers including wealth managers, hedge funds, pension funds will benefit from the enhanced user experience and ease of access to complement their daily decision making and workflow processes."

Right. Thanks, Mahmood.

Adam Toms, CEO OpenFin Europe, adds: "We are excited to welcome Quant Insight to our ever increasing universe of customers, making their macro analysis available to the OpenFin ecosystem. Understanding what is driving asset prices is crucial for all fund managers evaluating investment decisions; the OpenFin community can now benefit from easy access to Qi's macro analytics across multiple asset classes."

Okay, okay. Universe of customers. That's great.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Well, there's a scene in that film, during The Siege of Alesia, where Caesar receives the news that his daughter has just died in childbirth. He sobs for a minute, and then he turns to Mark Antony and says, "We take Alesia in the morning."

That's the control I have now, kook(s), over my emotions, like, thanks to that hypnosis download. 'I don't believe it, boss.' It's true, Voice. I'm serious. It's done wonders for me. I'm a new sha/man.

Music? July and August. I must get the new songs I want. I absolutely must. Ten great songs to match that list I made of thirteen Beatles songs would make me ... untouchable! Remember, I'm just one guy, one songwriter, not three. 'But you have an unfair advantage, Mikey, with your Caesarian personality, and your hypnotic self-control.' Ha, ha, ha! Paul McCartney will have to take it up with the gods.

Laters!

IFC mobilizes ...

So, uh - 'Oh no! I don't like the sound of this, boss. Whose heads are The IFC going to kick in?' What?! It's a member of the World Bank Group, Voice. 'Oh, okay.' Christ.

IFC mobilizes $2B in credit capacity from insurers to expand lending to financial institutions.

'Thank God for that!' What's the matter with you, man? 'Nothing.'

It's just a harmless PR email. No one's going home in an ambulance.

WASHINGTON, June 23, 2020 - IFC, a member of the World Bank Group, has partnered with six global insurance companies to mobilize $2 billion in credit capacity under the Managed Co-Lending Portfolio Program (MCPP). The initiative will allow IFC to increase its medium and long-term lending to commercial banks and non-bank financial institutions in emerging markets by up to $5 billion.

Wow! I wouldn't mind some of that cash. If some is going spare, like. 'Ha! It ain't. Not for your sort.' Shut up.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

I only want ... £10 million. That would set me up for life. 'You wouldn't have to do your music any more, boss.' Yeah. I'll stay poor then.

Right. There's a lot of this email. I'm just going to do the voices.

"Financial Institutions are vital to increasing investment in emerging markets," says IFC CEO Philippe Le Houerou. "Expanding partnerships with some of the world's largest insurance companies will increase IFC's firepower to deliver sustainable financial solutions to its bank and non-bank financial institutions clients, increasing access to finance for micro, small, and medium enterprises, including many women-owned businesses."

Well, IFC's firepower, eh? 'I thought they only used their fists.'

Okay. Henry?

"Aspen are extremely proud to partner with IFC, in delivering such an exciting and innovative solution for mobilizing credit in emerging markets," says Henry MacHale, Co-Chief Underwriting Officer of Aspen Insurance UK. "By combining IFC's local market knowledge and expertise along with private insurance market capacity, we are able to push forward together with IFC's aims of reducing poverty, increasing shared prosperity and promoting sustainable development."

Right. Dan?

"The partnership between the private insurance market and multilateral development banks has grown significantly over the last few years and has proven to be a successful and innovative way to expand their development activities," says Dan Riordan, President and Chief Underwriting Officer for Political Risk, Credit & Bond at AXA XL. "We are committed to partnering with IFC to support their efforts to mobilize needed capital to Financial Institutions in the emerging markets."  

Oh, FFS! 'How many voices are there, boss?! And where are they all coming from?' From the PR email, idiot! Loads of voices!

Let's finish with Peter ...

"We are very pleased to partner with IFC again to mobilize financing for developing countries," said Peter Sprent, Head of Financial Risk Solutions at Liberty Specialty Markets. "This new MCPP program highlights how the private insurance market can use its capacity and expertise to increase IFC's impact and help others around the world prosper. By sharing risks with IFC, we benefit from their global network and excellent track record."  

Okay. Thanks, Pete.

ENDS

'What about Jim?' Ha!

'What about Ansgar?' Ha, ha! 

'What about Jerome?' Ha, ha, ha!

ENDS - !!!

...

Anything else? Music? Listen, kook(s)! I'm going to make a superhuman effort with my music through July and August. I mean, the more I think about the state of the music business and my age, well ... I may have enough songs for an album, BUT(!) I'm going to need as many commercial songs as I can possibly write. And they've got to be reasonably great, too. For extra singles. And as material for gigs.

I need at least twenty songs in total, like I said the other week. So, I have twelve for the album. I have others that I don't want to use. I'm going to put We'll Show Them Heaven on ice until the second album - if I ever get that far. It's a slow ballad, man. I don't need slow ballads at the moment. What I need is overwhelming force. You dig? Oh, I hope so.

Have I got the energy though? Uh, maybe. Have I got the right emotions? That's the important thing. Well, that hypnosis download is working. It's by Paul McKenna. He's supposed to be the best, ain't he?

Anyway ...

Laters!

Refinitiv: Lipper European fund flows report - May 2020

Yeah, it's, uh ... the European fund flows report from the Lipper team at Refinitiv. But I guess you've already worked that out, dear reader(s). 'They read the title, boss.' Pardon? 'They probably read the title of this post.' Yes, Voice. My readers are very clever like that. A lot of them are professionals, you know. 'Really.' Not that it will help them much on the Day of Judgement.

Anyway ...

Long-term mutual funds posted net inflows for May 2020.
The overall fund flows for mutual funds in Europe in May amounted to estimated net inflows of €96.1 bn.
Bond funds (+€29.6 bn) were the best-selling individual asset type overall for May.
Equity Global (+€6.2 bn) was once again the best-selling sector among long-term funds for May.
California Dreamin'.
Ireland (+€30.8 bn) was the fund domicile with the highest net inflows, followed by Luxembourg (+€26.3 bn) and the U.K. (+€5.6 bn).
JP Morgan was the best-selling fund promoter for May overall, with net sales of €16.8 bn, ahead of BlackRock (+€13.7 bn) and Morgan Stanley (+€4.2 bn).
The 10 best-selling long-term funds gathered at the share class level net inflows of €8.7 bn for May.
QSF - Global Macro Bond I Acc (+$1.6 bn) was the best-selling individual long-term fund share class for May.

And, uh ... ENDS ... ? 'No, no, no! Christ! Where the hell is Detlef?!' Ha! Here he is, silly -

Detlef Glow, Lipper Head of EMEA Research at Refinitiv, comments: "European investors bought further back into mutual funds and ETFs in May after massive outflows from these products in March. Investors returned to the markets after they had somewhat stabilized after the massive stimulus packages by central banks and governments globally following the outbreak of The Thing, which caused widespread worldwide lockdowns and stoked fears of a global recession.

"As a result, long-term mutual funds posted overall net inflows for the month. Bond funds (+€29.6 bn) were the best-selling long-term asset type for May, followed by equity funds (+€7.9 bn), mixed-assets funds (+€5.7 bn), commodities funds (+€2.4 bn), 'other' funds (+€0.7 bn), and real estate funds (+€0.6 bn). On the other hand, alternative UCITS funds (-€6.0 bn) were again the only asset type with net outflows from long-term mutual funds. These fund flows added up to overall estimated net inflows of €40.9 bn into long-term investment funds for May. ETFs contributed inflows of €5.3 bn to these flows."

Nice one, Detlef! 'He's still trying to make sense of it all, boss.' Of course he is! Our Detlef will never give in. Never!

ENDS

...

Anything else? Music? Why not?! This isn't a finance blog, man. I'm not fooling anyone.

My voice is stronger. ['Er ...' Not you, idiot.] I know because I can sing the chorus of Malibu properly now. It was giving me a lot of trouble. I'm playing it better on guitar, too. So, that's something to be happy about, ain't it?

I'm still waiting for those two new songs though.

I'll tell you, kook(s): having a long-term goal is like digging a tunnel in prison.

Okay, okay.

Laters!

[No. 813] We want dots!

Give us dots!

And ... yes![1], and here are dots ... ... ...[1], and ... yes![2], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[1], and here are dots ... ... ...[2], and what are they saying to us?[1], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[2], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[1], and what are they saying to us?[2], and they can be ... mysterious![1], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[2], and they hold truth ... ?[1], and they can be ... myst erious![2], and ... ... ... come on![1], and they hold truth ... ?[2], and ... yes![3], and ... ... ... come on![2], and here are dots ... ... ...[3], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[3], and what are they saying to us?[3], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[3], and they can be ... m  y  s  t  e  r  i  o  u  s![3], and they hold truth ... ?[3], and ... ... ... come on![3], and

And ... yes![1], and here are dots ... ... ...[1], and ... yes![2], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[1], and here are dots ... ... ...[2], and what are they saying to us?[1], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[2], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[1], and what are they saying to us?[2], and they can be ... mysterious![1], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[2], and they hold truth ... ?[1], and they can be ... myst erious![2], and ... ... ... come on![1], and they hold truth ... ?[2], and ... yes![3], and ... ... ... come on![2], and here are dots ... ... ...[3], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[3], and what are they saying to us?[3], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[3], and they can be ... m  y  s  t  e  r  i  o  u  s![3], and they hold truth ... ?[3], and ... ... ... come on![3], and

And ... yes![1], and here are dots ... ... ...[1], and ... yes![2], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[1], and here are dots ... ... ...[2], and what are they saying to us?[1], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[2], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[1], and what are they saying to us?[2], and they can be ... mysterious![1], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[2], and they hold truth ... ?[1], and they can be ... myst erious![2], and ... ... ... come on![1], and they hold truth ... ?[2], and ... yes![3], and ... ... ... come on![2], and here are dots ... ... ...[3], and we like dots ... ... ... ... ... ... don't we?[3], and what are they saying to us?[3], and a-ROUND here ... ... ... dots are all we need[3], and they can be ... m  y  s  t  e  r  i  o  u  s![3], and they hold truth ... ?[3], and ... ... ... come on![3], and

Heike Arbter and Roger Studer re-elected as chair and vice chair of Eusipa

What?! Who are these people?!

Ha, ha, ha! Let's find out! 'Yeah! Come on! Let's do it, boss - !!!' All right, Voice, calm down. It's only a PR email. Christ.

Brussels, 18 June 2020: Heike Arbter of Austrian RCB re-elected as EUSIPA chairwoman; Swiss Roger Studer re-elected vice-chairman.

Nice one! / More!

Together with its members, the European Structured Investment Products Association (EUSIPA) takes great pleasure in announcing that its General Assembly has re-elected Mrs. Heike Arbter as the association's chairwoman and Roger Studer as vice-chairman. Heike Arbter is a board member at Austrian Raiffeisen Centrobank and headed the RCB’s structured products business for many years. Roger Studer is member of the board of directors of Bank Vontobel Europe AG and a member of the advisory council of Deutsche Borse Commodities AG. He has been EUSIPA's vice president since 2009.

Okay, okay. This is the first time I've even heard of Eusipa. Or EUSIPA. 'You learn something new every day.' Of course I do. It's why I'm such a genius.

Never stop growing! Never stop learning!

Anyway ...

Arbter, who thanks her colleagues for re-electing her, says: "It is a great honour to see my colleagues across our European association landscape confirming their confidence in me. The EU financial services sector is facing manifold pressures. We will have to keep a steady focus on customer orientation while ensuring our business stays aligned to the principles of sustainable banking. The efforts undertaken by the structured products industry throughout the past years have, in that sense, been a solid contribution as they have greatly enhanced transparency and customer understanding of our asset class."

Yeah, yeah. On my blog, she says, but fair enough. 'These voices, eh?' Pardon? 'I said, these voices, boss, you know?' Ha! You can talk.

Anyway ...

Studer adds: "The banking landscape is undergoing a global transformation, which impacts all angles of asset management in terms of distribution infrastructure and investor access to our products. While the regulatory angle of our work remains important we have to ensure the sector provides products and services needed by our customers, professional and retail alike. We will thus work more resolutely than ever to calibrate our association towards the commercial challenges our members face."

Okay, okay. / And, uh ... well, that's it, actually. 'No ENDS?' I can add some. 'Go on then.' All right.

ENDS

...

Anything else? I don't know. There might be. 'Are you feeling positive, boss?' What? Oh, you mean that hypnosis thing. Yeah, man. You're supposed to do it twice a day. I did it four times yesterday. 'You might damage your brain.' Ha! I'm not bothered. 'Well, I suppose not. I mean ... the stuff you've put your brain through over the years.' Exactly! Hypnosis is easy compared to all that.

I'll tell you, kook(s): My brain is really clear these days. I'm focused on one goal, and the world has retreated or ... been pushed away. Yes, I've pushed it away.

I won't tolerate any nonsense, any distraction.

Listen! I'm serious now. Big star or The Dude. There is absolutely nothing in between those two states of being.

Sure, I've had fun, sucking around, bothering all the citizens with my jerk-off behaviour. Oh, almost a lifetime of it. 'Ha!' But it's time to say: "Goodbye, Dude! Thanks for leaving. I'm Michael Fowke."

Do you know what I mean?

Laters!

[No. 812] ...

...

And, well ...[1], and ... that's all[1], and, well ...[2], and, this[1], and ... that's all[2], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[1], and, this[2], and you can roll away and fall[1], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[2], and, uh ...[1], and you can roll away and fall[2], and I will add more, unfortunately[1], and, uh ...[2], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[1], and I will add more, unfortunately[2], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[1], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[2], and I don't want to be disturbed[1], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[2], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[1], and I don't want to be disturbed[2], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[1], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[2], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[1], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[2], and my soul feels ... what?[1], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[2], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[1], and my soul feels ... what?[2], and I don't have the energy to break ...[1], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[2], and I'm just floating now ...[1], and I don't have the energy to bre ak ...[2], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[1], and I'm just floating now ...[2], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[1], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[2], and, uh ... not too happy though[1], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[2], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![1], and, uh ... not too happy though[2], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[1], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![2], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[1], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[2], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[1], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[2], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[1], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[2], and what do you know, eh?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[2], and ... ha![1], and what do you know, eh?[2], and, well ...[3], and ... ha![2], and ... that's all[3], and, this[3], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[3], and you can roll away and fall[3], and, uh ...[3], and I will add more, unfortunately[3], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[3], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[3], and I don't want to be disturbed[3], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[3], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[3], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[3], and my soul feels ... what?[3], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[3], and I don't have the energy to b  r  e  a  k ...[3], and I'm just floating now ...[3], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[3], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[3], and, uh ... not too happy though[3], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![3], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[3], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[3], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[3], and what do you know, eh?[3], and ... ha![3], and

And, well ...[1], and ... that's all[1], and, well ...[2], and, this[1], and ... that's all[2], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[1], and, this[2], and you can roll away and fall[1], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[2], and, uh ...[1], and you can roll away and fall[2], and I will add more, unfortunately[1], and, uh ...[2], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[1], and I will add more, unfortunately[2], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[1], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[2], and I don't want to be disturbed[1], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[2], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[1], and I don't want to be disturbed[2], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[1], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[2], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[1], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[2], and my soul feels ... what?[1], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[2], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[1], and my soul feels ... what?[2], and I don't have the energy to break ...[1], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[2], and I'm just floating now ...[1], and I don't have the energy to bre ak ...[2], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[1], and I'm just floating now ...[2], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[1], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[2], and, uh ... not too happy though[1], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[2], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![1], and, uh ... not too happy though[2], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[1], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![2], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[1], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[2], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[1], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[2], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[1], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[2], and what do you know, eh?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[2], and ... ha![1], and what do you know, eh?[2], and, well ...[3], and ... ha![2], and ... that's all[3], and, this[3], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[3], and you can roll away and fall[3], and, uh ...[3], and I will add more, unfortunately[3], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[3], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[3], and I don't want to be disturbed[3], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[3], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[3], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[3], and my soul feels ... what?[3], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[3], and I don't have the energy to b  r  e  a  k ...[3], and I'm just floating now ...[3], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[3], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[3], and, uh ... not too happy though[3], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![3], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[3], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[3], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[3], and what do you know, eh?[3], and ... ha![3], and

And, well ...[1], and ... that's all[1], and, well ...[2], and, this[1], and ... that's all[2], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[1], and, this[2], and you can roll away and fall[1], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[2], and, uh ...[1], and you can roll away and fall[2], and I will add more, unfortunately[1], and, uh ...[2], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[1], and I will add more, unfortunately[2], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[1], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[2], and I don't want to be disturbed[1], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[2], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[1], and I don't want to be disturbed[2], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[1], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[2], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[1], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[2], and my soul feels ... what?[1], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[2], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[1], and my soul feels ... what?[2], and I don't have the energy to break ...[1], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[2], and I'm just floating now ...[1], and I don't have the energy to bre ak ...[2], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[1], and I'm just floating now ...[2], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[1], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[2], and, uh ... not too happy though[1], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[2], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![1], and, uh ... not too happy though[2], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[1], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![2], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[1], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[2], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[1], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[2], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[1], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[2], and what do you know, eh?[1], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[2], and ... ha![1], and what do you know, eh?[2], and, well ...[3], and ... ha![2], and ... that's all[3], and, this[3], and I could add more if I wanted to ... and, yes, yes ... this is more, yes, but I don't want to[3], and you can roll away and fall[3], and, uh ...[3], and I will add more, unfortunately[3], and words can be squeezed out ... if I need them[3], and the sea will gladly take any rocks that come crashing in ... but I won't[3], and I don't want to be disturbed[3], and a-ROUND here ... ha! ... what are the chances of a quiet life?[3], and, but, but, but ... I am disturbed, obviously, naturally, it's my destiny, yes[3], and I don't know where I am ... in my head[3], and my soul feels ... what?[3], and it doesn't matter, does it? / and I could be far gone ... or very close to something, anything[3], and I don't have the energy to b  r  e  a  k ...[3], and I'm just floating now ...[3], and words are crashing in ... words I don't want ... words I never asked for ... words I would never dream of asking for ...[3], and I would be happy with just dots ... that's the truth[3], and, uh ... not too happy though[3], and I would prefer NOTHING AT ALL - !!![3], and dots will do ... ... ... ?[3], and if I had nothing ... would I be free, even ... beyond the THREE ... ?[3], and I suppose ... I'm in a funny mood, ha, ha ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there's nothing to laugh about, is there?[3], and what do you know, eh?[3], and ... ha![3], and

The genie is out of the bottle, apparently

Okay, okay.

Yeah, it's a PR email from Jinksy. 'Oh, Christ. What is he going on about today, boss? A genie leaving a bottle, Voice. Or something.

Let's have a look!

May's ONS retail sales figures show that, against expectations, online sales continued to grab an even larger share of the overall retail market. The home delivery expert ParcelHero says that, despite many DIY and hardware stores reopening in March, shoppers were in no hurry to kick their new online shopping habit.

Oh, I see. Absolutely nothing to do with a genie. 'Ha! We would get more sense out of David Bowie with his Jean Genie.' Yes.

Why do we bother with this guy?

Anyway ...

Today's Office of National Statistics (ONS) retail sales estimates for May show e-commerce grabbing an even larger slice of overall retail sales. A huge 33.4% of everything we bought in May was ordered online, up from the previous record 30.8% in April.

Okay. Talk some sense to us, David ...

David Jinks MILT, is Head of Consumer Research for the home delivery expert ParcelHero. He says: "When all non-essential stores closed on Lockdown Monday, 23 March, retailers rubbed their magic lamps and wished that customers would move to online sales. That's exactly what Britain's consumers have done, but now store owners can't put the genie back in the bottle. A portion of High Street sales have been lost forever."

What?! 'Unbelievable!' Retailers haven't been rubbing their magic lamps. They don't have magic lamps. ‘Ha! He's a nut!' Jinksy's gone too far with his absurd fantasies this time. 'But, uh ... what about that occult/new age shop you used to go to?' Oh, you mean Mysteries in Monmouth Street? 'Yeah.' It's closed down now, Voice. 'Really? That's a shame.' It is. I mean, that's a shop that would have a magic lamp or two about the place, if it were still going. 'Why did it close then, boss?' Well, it's the modern world. I imagine the rent went through the roof and they couldn't sell enough tarot cards to cover it.

[Update: Good news! Mysteries has moved to another street nearby.]

Anyway, uh ... Jinksy's talking a lot of percentages now. 'Great.' Ah, that's enough. Life is too short.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Well, I'm using a hypnosis download to get and stay all positive and shit. For my music, like. I want those two new songs, man. Soon! Yes. I don't need them for the album. Oh, no! They can either go on the second album or ... they can be used for emergencies. 'Break glass in case of emergency, Mikey.' Exactly, Voice. I don't want to find myself in a position where people are putting pressure on me to have hits and I've got nothing to give them.

Listen! And Rain Came Down isn't my best song, but it's the sort of song that a lot of artists would build a twenty or thirty year career around. You know what I mean, reader(s), don't you? They have one big hit. It gets played on the radio forever. It's used in TV adverts or films. They get known as ... "The And Rain Came Down singer" or whatever. And when they're on their nostalgia tours all the fans wait for that one song and couldn't care less about anything else. That's what I mean.

So, two more songs like that. Behind glass. Plus all the other big songs I already have ...

If you ain't thinking big, kook(s), you ain't thinking at all. You dig? That's the lesson for today.

Oh, yesterday? I watched Stardust again. That film teaches you a lot. What to do, and what not to do.

What Not To Do

Don't wallow in self-pity
Don't do drugs
Don't cheat on your lovely French girlfriend
Don't let a manager control your career

What To Do

Be in control yourself
Become the biggest star in the world
Buy a castle

Laters!

Widespread electric vehicle use boosted by ...

Okay, okay. Boosted by what, exactly? 'I know, boss!' Shut up, Voice!

Oh. Boosted by this deal -

Aberdeen-based green tech start-up, Trojan Energy, has secured a £4.1 million round of seed funding to support the roll-out of its on-street flat and flush electric vehicle (EV) charging points. The new product aims to help solve the issue of charging for vehicle owners without access to off-street parking, which is currently a major barrier for electric vehicle uptake, particularly in urban areas.

Yes, it's a PR email, dear reader(s). And it's all fair enough, I suppose. These Trojan guys have done well. But what about our Elon? 'He's the one who's really boosting everything, boss!' Yes, I know, Voice. I know. Christ.

Anyway, let's hear from the voices ...

Ian Mackenzie, CEO, Trojan Energy says: "This is such an important milestone for Trojan Energy. Ever since we started this business, we have wanted to ensure that the benefits of the low carbon transition can be realized by everyone and not just those with a driveway. With this investment, our vision has moved a step closer. The rewards for our customers and our planet will be massive and prove the point that a big idea and great engineering can change the world."

That's great, Ian. But what about our Elon?

Fraser Lusty, Director, Equity Gap says: "We are pleased to back Trojan Energy and its strong Scottish team who have brought their expertise from the Oil & Gas sector to partner with industry, energy suppliers and councils to help accelerate the adoption of EV usage in dense urban areas where the technology is needed most. Their technology is pivotal to the greater adoption of EV's, the future decarbonizing of our transport infrastructure and central to the UK government's target for net-zero emissions."

Nice one, Fraser! But what about our Elon?

Rob Halliday, Fund Manager, SIS Ventures says: "SIS Ventures believes that in the wake of The Thing there is an opportunity for Scotland to re-build an impact economy. As Scotland's leading impact investor we are delighted to be playing our part in supporting this innovative mission-led business in its ambition to deliver growth and impact at scale. Trojan Energy is the step change urban EV charging desperately needs."

Oh. What about Elon? 'No one has got anything to say about Elon, boss.' Shut up, idiot! There are more voices to come, and they're not idiots.

John Duncan, Alba Equity says: "We are delighted to bring together local investors to support the team at Trojan Energy. Our members were attracted by the strength of the team and the innovative nature of their technology and we believe that the business has the potential to play a significant role in increasing EV usage, which will benefit all through lower emissions."

Yeah. What about Elon?

Kerry Sharp, Director, Scottish Investment Bank, says: "It's been suggested that over half of European car owners will be driving electric vehicles by the end of the decade, so developing an innovative, non-invasive and cost-effective solution to the problem posed by on-street charging is essential. By drawing on years of engineering and commercial experience, we believe the Trojan Energy team can achieve that."

Oh, over half? Really? Who will be responsible for that? 'Boss!' What? 'Let Kerry continue.' Jesus H. - !!!

"This is the latest example of a forward-looking Scottish company bringing its expertise to bear on one of the defining issues of our time. With our support, and that of our fellow investors, we believe Trojan Energy can help position Scotland at the forefront of the global transition to a low-carbon economy."

No mention of Elon! No mention of the greatest visionary genius of our time! 'Er ... one of the two greatest visionary geniuses of our time, Mikey.  Come on, don't be so modest.'

Ha!

ENDS

...

Anything else? Music? My music? I'm continuing with my best plan ... which is to get ten songs to match that list of thirteen Beatles songs.

These ones, man, plus two more -

This World Don't Mean a Thing
Nothing
Malibu
Stella
What's This Life We Live?
And Rain Came Down
Good Times
We'll Show Them Heaven [I need to finish the lyric.]

You dig?

Anything less and big-time success won't be guaranteed at my age.

Laters.